A Perfectly Acceptable Hearts and Hooves Day
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A Perfectly Acceptable Hearts and Hooves Day
A Perfectly Acceptable Hearts and Hooves Day
Anon sighs as he leans back in the massive hot tub. Resting his hands behind his head and with cucumber slices covering his eyes, he has never felt quite so relaxed. The warmth of the water contrasted with the comfortable temperature of the Ponyville Day Spa creates an environment that feels like a gift from the heavens during the bitter cold of winter.
“How’s the water, Anon?”
“I don’t know if I’ve ever been this comfortable in my entire life.”
“Hmhm, well, the staff here really knows what they’re doing, darling.”
The large, central room of the spa is completely empty bar three creatures relaxing inside. The aforementioned Anon sits in the hot tub, while Rarity and Princess Twilight Sparkle both relax on cushioned seats nearby, their eyes also covered with cucumber slices and their faces adorned with face masks. Twilight is rocking a different mane style than usual, and both mares just got hooficures that look absolutely fabulous.
They came here together, and they’re determined to make the most of this experience.
“I was expecting it to be more crowded, honestly. I can’t believe we’re the only ones here.”
“Well, it is Hearts and Hooves Day.” Twilight sounds completely unbothered as she makes herself comfortable on her back. “It was probably a lot busier this morning, but right about now, I imagine most ponies are out on their dinner dates or what have you.”
“Overrated,” Rarity says with a lighthearted tone. “There’s no need for a holiday to take your loved one out to dinner. If you ask me, it makes it seem less special.”
“Eh, I don’t see the harm,” Anon replies nonchalantly. “Having an excuse to take someone special out for dinner still leads to you taking someone special out for dinner. Isn’t that a good thing?”
Rarity sighs.
“Perhaps, but there’s a difference between wanting to take somepony out for dinner and being obligated to take somepony out for dinner.”
“Agree to disagree, then.”
“Well, if you ask me, I’m willing to take an excuse to spend the day with you two. We’re so busy nowadays that I welcome the holiday,” Twilight adds.
“Singles Club was pretty much the best idea you’ve ever had, Twi. Good on you for coming up with that.”
“Must that be the name, though?” Rarity waves her hoof in the air, but no one sees it on account of the cucumbers. “It makes us sound so… drab. Like our identities are based on the fact that we’re ‘single on Hearts and Hooves Day.’”
“Er, Rarity? We are single on Hearts and Hooves Day. That’s… why we’re here.”
“Yes, but I am single by CHOICE, darling! My special somepony is my career!”
“...I think that came off as unintentionally rude, Rarity.” Twilight takes a sip of her complimentary mango tea she was given before the spa ponies applied her mask. “You make it sound like Anon and I are sad that we’re single or something.”
“Oh? W-well, I didn’t mean for it to be rude, but… is that not the case?”
“Hey, just because we’re single doesn't mean we’re sad about it. I’m just waiting for the right stallion.”
The room is quiet for a moment before Anon awkwardly clears his throat.
“Y-yeah…”
“...How many was it this year, Anon?”
He sighs.
“Fourteen.”
“You got turned down by FOURTEEN mares?!”
“Look, not that many mares are into humans, okay?!”
“Oh, darling, you simply MUST share some details! Who were these mares?”
“C-come on…” If any of them could see, they’d notice Anon’s cheeks reddening. “Don’t call me out like that, it’s embarrassing.”
“Give us just one, then.” Twilight chuckles. “How high did you aim? And how far did you fall?”
Anon groans before mumbling something.
“Mmhmia.”
“What was that?”
He sighs again.
“Celestia.”
“You asked out Princess Celestia?!” If Twilight’s eyes weren’t covered, they’d be bulging out of her skull.
“Sh-she’s not a princess anymore! I figured that meant she was fair game!”
“Darling. She’s thousands of years old. I don’t mean to sound rude, but–”
“She’s out of my league, I know.” Anon cracks his back and shifts his legs into a more comfortable position beneath the surface of the water. “But I figured I’d regret it if I didn’t shoot my shot.”
“And you got turned down?”
“Actually, I never really got to ask. I showed up to her manor all dressed up and prepared to ask her out, but Luna was the one who answered the door. She said something like ‘thou art not worthy to pursue our sister!’ and shooed me away.”
“Really? Hm.” Twilight shrugs. “I didn’t take her to be the protective type.”
“Yeah, well, while chasing me off of her property she mentioned that Celestia has had a bunch of potential suitors and didn’t really like any of ‘em. I didn’t stand much of a chance.” Anon takes a sip of his own complimentary drink, a bit of boba. “But I still sent her some stuff for Hearts and Hooves Day. Doubt she’ll actually read any of it, though.”
“You should’ve gotten Spike to help you with that.”
Anon is quiet for a brief moment.
“...Dang it, why didn’t I think of that?!”
The three of them share a lighthearted laugh. In that moment, they all come to the same quiet realization that, for once, they really are enjoying a Hearts and Hooves Day.
“Would you two care to go somewhere with me after this?”
“Hm?” Anon and Rarity question in unison.
“I can get us back to Canterlot really quickly, and I’d like you to join me for dinner. The castle’s chefs are some of the best in Equestria, and they wanted to make a banquet for Hearts and Hooves Day. And I mean… there’s no way I’m gonna be able to eat all of that on my own, so…”
“I’d be delighted to join, darling! It’s not like I had any special plans for the evening, anyway.”
“I’m in, too. Free grub is free grub.”
“Hmhm. Well, it might not be the greatest holiday ever, but let’s make it a… perfectly acceptable Hearts and Hooves Day. How does that sound?”
“Perfectly acceptable is good enough for me,” Anon says as he finally removes the cucumbers from his eyes and begins to stand. “It’s better than being sad, as Rarity put it.”
“Now now, we are NOT sad. That was the point I was making!”
“It’s hard to be sad with you two around,” Twilight chuckles as she stands up as well. “Let’s go have ourselves a nice evening.”
The three of them share a smile as they prepare to head out for the evening. They might be single on the day of love, but holidays are what you make of them. Others might lament not having a special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day, but them?
They’re content to spend it with each other.
“Celestia responded to my letter!”
Well, perhaps some are more content than others.
Author's Note
Surprise! I had one more up my sleeve! 
As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!
