Anon E. Muss, Shining Armor | Throne Room

Anon had gotten the extensive tour of the numerous levels of the castle, lead by Shining; most of it was standard castle fare that he'd primarily ignore, bar for a few rooms. Along the way, the lowdown on their current Military detail was explained as well.

The castle was pretty solid, despite being stood on four struts; they were deceptively thick (kind of like Cadance), and the first floor was merged heavily with the struts, each of which served like its own stairway entrance to the castle. Unlike the Crystal infrastructure that constituted the homes, businesses and walls, the Castle had been hoof handled during its growth. Engraved, Polished, whatever; it gave it a standout look, carrying the mantra of 'Smaller than Canterlot, but just as intricate'. Without brickwork, it relied on the details and patterns of the crystals and works that were placed on or around them, using polishing and sanding to achieve different textures. Sharper, more jagged Pillars support each corner of every hall, while purple-stripes of various hues decorate the walls above the tops of the doors. Every, single doorway was a pair of sturdy, dark blue double-doors.

Basically, the place was smaller than Canterlots Castle, didn't awkwardly reflect light into Anon's eyes despite being crystals, and still had a good size. That's about summed the place up.

Lead by now-masculine-again Shining, they commit some further small talk during the walk. Getting a better look at the inside, they're definitely not as heavily kitted out for a large staff like Canterlot is. Decent sized kitchen is situated directly over the north-western strut, which serves as an entrance for supplies. It was getting comical at this point. Everything looked normal, but like it had been made out of Crystal instead of wood or other materials Anon was used to, often with just color alone to differentiate the parts of furniture. There were some imported materials where needed, but... Crystal Empire living up to its name.

The Throne Room is central, directly overtop the Crystal Heart; that shard of crystal that stabs downward at the heart, is also part of the pedestal that sits the Thrones, told to Anon as a fun fact by Shining. Unlike Canterlot however, they didn't attempt to make the Thrones look more equal. A rich burgundy carpet rolled across the floor, from entrance to Throne, contrasting the soft blue of the entire castle. Segmented crystals made up the walls, and what looked like a natural outcropping of some deep-purple crystal had been fashioned into a Throne, a Heart emblazoned on its front, with upholstery giving it some cushion to sit on and lay against. Considering they were Ponies, it was moreso made for them to sit on their haunches. To the side, smaller, as a similarly styled throne of blue, with a shield mantled on it. Cadance had the main stage, but Shining still had his place. What, were they gonna sprout a little stool for him on the opposite side?

Not happening. He wants a desk.

"...There's no way that's comfortable." Anon mumbles, staring at Cadance's Throne with crossed arms.

Shining perks up, stopping beside him as he follows Anon's judgemental stare.

"Actually, Cadance told me it was grown of a softer, malleable Crystal. They apparently use it for anything furniture related, like couches and chairs, and it allows them to work cushions and such into it." Shining explains.

"Tell me something, Shining. We import the cushions, don't we." Anon grumbles.

Shining purses his lips in thought.
"I... am not sure. Why would that matter?"

"What lives or grows around here that could produce something comfortable enough to put in a pillow?" Anon expounds, now turning to look down at Shining.

Shining purses his lip in thought. To his credit, he doesn't shy away with a quick retort.
"Uh... I can't think of anything. I'm still brushing up on my studies about the place."

"Slight tangent -- for how long did you know you were going to marry Cadance?" Anon now asks, curious.

"...Since about a month before the wedding." Shining admits as he glances back over the Throne room. "I've put almost all my focus into understanding the Crystal Empire's current Military and Guard. Cadance will know things on the more domestic side; or at least, can guide you to the Ponies that would know."

"Couple of strangers in a weird new Crystal world, huh." Anon jokes. The pair share a look, before Shining smiles softly.

"I guess so, huh? Didn't think about that." He admits. "Good to have someone else to be new with, so I don't stick out too badly by myself."

"Yep. Well, what I meant by asking about importing, was it seems like Crystals are kind of... our only thing. That we need to import most other things." Anon explains, turning to start walking; Shining trails up beside him, looking at him curiously.

"And why would that be a bad?" He questions. "With our good relations with Equestria, why would that be a worry?"

"Well, it shows we're a one trick pony. If our main export is our only worthwhile export, that can be dangerous to hedge the entire economy on it. We don't have to worry so much about how blatantly reliant on Equestria we are, thanks to immortal blood-relations between rulers. But... this place is never going to flourish if it stays comfortable being a resource output for Equestria. Well, that's if we can even solve our current conundrum. If we can't convince Ponies to work the Mines again, we have absolutely nothing to offer on the international markets, since we don't produce anything else of significance." Anon explains grimly as the pair walk the halls. The odd pair of guard nod politely -- noticeably towards Shining.

"I... see. And how do you think we should solve that? Do you have any ideas for that?" Shining asks, hopeful. It's pretty clear he's concerned, even if it isn't his field of expertise.

"Not until I've spoken to Cadance about things. Diversifying our production might help, but we're not exactly in rich, fertile fields. I need to know the after-effects of Sombras rule, what we're capable of producing this far north, and so on." Anon continues on. Part of him wondered just how involved in domestic affairs he'd be. He had a feeling his job of keeping the Princess and Prince...ss, happy, wasn't going to be his only tasks.

"Right. In the meantime, then, there's a few more things to show you." Shining nods, taking lead again.

Records Room

Up next was the records room; there was already a few Ponies working quietly at a few stations, some of Equestrian heritage, some of Crystal. Apparently suffering under Sombra's rule meant there was a lot of paperwork that needed organizing, records that needed correcting, and several historical chunks simply missing or requiring remedy. This room would probably be busy for a while, and Anon knew he'd be visiting it often. So he makes a point to introduce himself.

There's three crystal Ponies who currently work records, that Anon felt might be good to get to know. Lime Light, a soft green stallion with a frizzy mane, and Mellow Meadows, a mustard curly-maned mare are two of the scribes. They were curious as to what the tartarus Anon even was, but remained polite enough. The Royal Scribe, basically their Boss and the one who handles recording things of note during Court, answering directly to the Crystal Royalty, as Quillweaver. Anon had met very few Ponies who go by one name; and he clarified, it wasn't Quill Weaver, but Quillweaver. He had a dull grey coat, with a stark white, short mane. Anon has a feeling he'll be dealing with him often; so he was getting called Quill.

"Quillweaver; how goes the organization?" Shining asks, as Anon gets a quick glance at how they organize things. Scrolls, tomes, books, piles of parchment tied together... and most of the shelves were empty.

"About as well as last time you asked, Prince Shining." Quillweaver pauses his work to bow. "We've been focusing on processing the Sombra-Era records, before we try to begin adapting our current ones. It's a... slow process."

"A boastful fellow, I'm sure. How off the mark have they been? I bet he smudged a good amount of them." Shining muses. But surprisingly, Quillweaver shakes his head.

"The accuracy of said records aren't in question, actually. Most accounts are within believable ranges. They're simply... well, I suppose you should see for yourself." Quillweaver explains.

He produces a scroll from beneath a desk, laying it atop, before carefully unfolding it -- and quickly jumping back. It bursts into a bright purple flame, reducing it to cinders in moments. The flame spreads to nothing else, and in a moment, its already gone, the scroll consumed.

Shining stares as Quillweaver sweeps up the crispy remains of the parchment.
"...Quillweaver, what in tartarus was that?"

"A significant amount of the records are trapped, or seeped in his cursed magics. While he himself is gone, it seems his hold remains, in some degree." Quillweaver explains dryly. "Our progress is heavily slowed, as we have to organize them by what has been cursed, and what has not. We don't even have the means to expel them, either." He motions to a pile of scrolls and books in the corner of the room, carefully stacked, away from everything else.

"Of course." Shining groans, rubbing his temple with a hoof. "Well, carry on... just be careful. Thankfully crystal isn't flammable." Though, if there was ever a Pony to figure it out, it would probably have been Sombra.

"Of course, Prince Shining. Might I ask, however... just what is the individual that you have brought with you?" Quillweaver inquires, both leaning to look at Anon across the room.

Who is currently distracting both of the other scribes from their work, waggling fingers in their interested faces as they Ooh and Aah. Lime Light tries to nip at them, and gets flicked on the nose in response. Mellow snorts at Limes efforts.

"Oh, he's a Human; and the new Royal Advisor." Shining states simply, getting an incredulous look from Quillweaver.

"He seems... aloof." Quillweaver summarizes quaintly, unimpressed.

"You have no idea. He is, however, a historian of his peoples, and is incredibly good at both reading and getting along with Ponies. Cadance is excited to be working with him." Shining explains; that last part seeming to interest Quillweaver enough to look at Anon again. Now he's scratching Mellow's head, her ears flicking.

"I... see. I will strive to ensure that we work... well, together. What is he doing to my scribes?" Quillweaver finally asks, confused.

"Oh, Anon has a thing with Petting Ponies. You'll get used to it." Shining hums.

"...As you say, Prince." Quillweaver sighs. "Do you need me for anything else?"

"Oh, no, just giving our new Advisor the tour." Shining affirms; Anon finally crossing back over the room.

"Well, the system of categorizing doesn't seem too outdated. Still workable." Anon surmised aloud.

"...Pardon my confusion, but how did you come to that conclusion while petting my staff?" Quillweaver interjects.

"Oh, Ponies like to chat when they're distracted or getting pet. I just had them explain it to me." Anon nods.

Quillweaver purses his lips in thought. This creature may be more devious than his nature lets on.
"...And at this time, do you have any... recommendations?" He prods, getting a surprised glance from Shining.

"Yeah, I heard that thing about Sombra. Twilight Sparkle -- purple, Unicorn, sister in law to Cadance, hard to miss -- is visiting. Big magic nerd. Talk to her about investigating the magic for you, she might be able to purge them for you while she's here, or at least get us on the right track, or at worst, she can outline the process we can follow for the future." Anon offers, snapping his fingers as he thinks something up on the spot.

"...Very well. If Miss Twilight would be willing, I will impart the request on your behalf, Royal Advisor." Quillweaver nods. Anon, content, is already walking for the door.

"...I think you two will get along." Shining grins, turning to follow Anon.

"I doubt it, but I'm pleased to see he's not of idle mind. Good day, Prince Shining." Quillweaver bows, before returning to his task, throwing a glare at Lime and Meadow. He considers chastising them; but the gloomy mood in the hall had been lifted since their little interaction, the pair of scribes smiling and laughing with each other. Quillweaver huffs, letting it slide, and carefully begins inspecting the next sealed book.

"Alright... I think all that's left, aside from things like the Royal Vault and things that aren't really staffed. Last thing would be the Barracks." Shining decides, taking the lead again, trotting in front of Anon. He'd shown Anon the guest halls, servants quarters; the nitty-gritty that kept the Crystal Castle functioning.

"Fine to me." Anon agrees, pausing for a moment to glance at a large painting on the wall. There'd been a couple of them, mostly landscapes or some odd crystal Pony. This one, he remembers. Massive portrait, showing a pretty sizable mare...

"Is that Princess Amore?" Anon asks, pointing up at picture. Mounted on the wall in the middle of one of the smaller halls, it seemed a little out of place for how well painted it was. Her hoof was crossed over the other, eyes closed, sat on a throne and smiling softly. She looked benevolent; like a wingless Celestia, though her hair didn't do the thing. Did sparkle like a motherfucker, though.

Shining pauses, turning around.
"Uh... Yeah, I believe so. She's from before Sombra, so there's very little known of her, or her rule. Sombra wiped most of the records of the Empire that came before him." Shining explains, as he trots back over to stand beside Anon.

"...Hm." Anon hums, stroking his chin. He glances up and down the hall; it was quiet, for the moment.
"...So you said your Mom knows, but what about your dad?" He asks suddenly.

Shining's eyes widen as his gaze quickly darts up and down the walking path, whisper-shouting at Anon.
"Anon! Don't just start--"

"It's only as suspicious as you make it. To a passing eye or ear, we're looking at a painting, enjoying small talk. It's subtlety, Shining. You're gonna have to get used to speaking to myself and others like this; we won't always be able to sequester ourselves to a quiet room for a long chat." Anon warns, giving him a quick glance.

That seems to sober Shining out of his assumption that Anon was being foolish; he was a military guy. Gal. Gal in guy disguise. So Anon figured subterfuge was... not his strong point.

"...Right, sorry. Not my usual thing." Shining sighs, sitting on his haunches and looking up at the painting. "...Yeah, I mean my dad knows, obviously. He just never really... cared? I told him, and he just shrugged. I think he was just happy I was so involved in Hoofball, and that I got into the Guard."

"Your dad is a pretty solid guy. He tried to buy fish for me one time, did you know that?" Anon grins, being reminded of the bemusing situation.

Shining stifles a laugh, nodding. "I remember hearing about that from Mom. Twily brought you for one of those family dinners -- couldn't make it myself -- and he tried to browse the Little Griffonia markets for something for you. He was sick for a week after going through there, couldn't get the smell out of his nose."

"Yeah. You Sparkles are good folk." Anon hums, reaching down and tussling Shining's mane. Shining doesn't know how to feel about it, caught by surprise.

"You think Princess Amore is one of Mi Amore Cadenza's ancestors?" Anon suddenly gear-shifts the conversation, pointing at the painting again.

Shining blinks, looking back up to it, snapping out of his thoughts. "I wouldn't be surprised... there's some resemblance. Though, Cadance doesn't really know either; she was raised by Princess Celestia. It's something I hope they find in the records, for her, but... nothing so far. Not with how thorough Sombra was."

"Shame. I think she might be. Welp. Barracks?" Anon clasps his hands together.

"Y-yeah, sure. This way, it's across the Plaza from the Castle." Shining instructs, taking the lead again.

Man, Ponies were fun to pet; an astute observation that Anon ruminates to himself. Entirely oblivious to the seedlings of conflicted, odd feelings being planted in Shining's chest.

The Military was in shambles. If Shining hadn't scraped it back into workable form, it'd have been terrible. Instead, it's just bad.

A quick tour of the Barracks, meeting a few of the rank and file, bothering Cobalt again, and getting introduced to the Head Guard, Glacial Shine. A sturdy, surprisingly close to his age, no-nonsense Crystal Pony of silver fur and gold mane. And surprisingly soft. Yes, he permitted a petting; Cobalt's report of what Anon did to him needed 'following up' on.

Unfortunately, from what Anon saw through his tour, and with an explanation from Shining, confidence was at an all time low. Shining was just glad to have someone who took this side of things seriously, and who he could vent to about the Cities sorry state.

Most of the Barracks was empty. In contrast, most of the armory was full. This was not a good thing, in either case. They had nobody -- or nopony -- to arm. To hoof? They couldn't even have one upside by having surplus supply; everything in the armory was outdated compared to what Anon saw in Canterlot. Poorly cared for. Originally good quality products, now they had to cherry pick what to arm their guards with after years of ill use and lack of maintenance.

Don't even get Anon started on the pile of giant, metal, pony-shaped ominous helmets that sat jammed in crates and boxes in the very back. 'Mind Control Helmets' or something from Sombra's rule. Charming. Probably try to melt those down, if they weren't cursed.

The Crystal Empire was operating at about 1/4th capacity. As in, they could barely staff out guarding the city without stretching patrols or putting guards on double shifts. The 1/4th they had... varied heavily in experience. Apparently being mind-controlled didn't help build ones resume; so most of their enlisted guard ranged from fresh faces, Crystal Ponies just trying to get any kind of work that wasn't the Mines, and the few that simply fit the job the best, so they stuck it out afterwards.

Upside, the Crystal City was the only city they needed to worry about defending. Downside, it was a nation with a single fucking city, because everything else was a fucking wasteland. No villages to guard, meant no villages to tax. Just a few establishments a short distance from the walls.

Looks like there was no escaping being attached by the ass to Equestria for the foreseeable future, with the Crystal City in this state. It didn't even feel right to call it the Empire at this point. Empire of what? It's a fucking City State.

Thank God the relations between the two nations were rock fucking solid, or this nightmare scenario would have been so much worse. Not having to worry about succession or sibling inter-politics was the only blessing he'd found so far.

They leave the Barracks behind, promptly returning to the castle. Anon's mood was... a smidge dicey, processing.

As they reach the Private Dining Room again, Shining holds a sympathetic expression, getting the door for Anon; who is currently busy grumbling to himself, trying to mentally begin working out the plan of actions they'd need. Good god, he needed an office.

Twilight and Cadance, quite oppositely, are all grins and giggles; a set of tea has been placed between them, and they're surrounded by a stack of paperwork, which it looks like they've set aside to dry. Yeah, same case of the 'tism for sure.

"Get everything all chalked up, ladies?" Shining calls out, announcing their presence. Drawn from their conversation, Cadance and Twilight glance over, smiling at the pairs return. Cadance's smile falters for a moment, seeing Anon gripe and groan, glancing to Shining for an answer.

"We did! I believe that you'll find these terms most agreeable, Anon! Care to go over them with us now?" Twilight smiles widely, patting beside herself at the table. Anon scoots around the chairs, over to his prior spot beside Twilight, as she floats the first parchment of a tall pile in front of him, laid out in front of him. The corner reads page 1 of 98. Shortly followed by a dry quill, and a sealed inkwell, which settle themselves before Purples magic disperses.

1. Ninety Eight pages of his contract. Yeah, he wasn't reading all that. He was sure it was just fine.

Anon plucks the quill from the table, pops the inkwell, and jabs the quill into it. Confused looks are shared, as Anon promptly writes his name on the first page, reaches over, plucks the bottom page from under the stack, and signs that too.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it's great." Anon idly affirms, 'Anon E. Mouse' now scrawled across the bottom of both pages.

Twilight looks abhorred that he wouldn't carefully pick through the lengthy terms and conditions, and is figuring choice words for him.

Having just spent a little more time with Anon, Shining is not even remotely surprised by his brash action, starting to get an understanding of his character.

Cadance, forming the middle ground, just looks concerned as she watches him sign it, leaning forward against the table. It's Twilight that gets spicy, though.

"Anon! You can't just sign it without reading it!" Twilight protests, reacting far too late to stop him as she yanks the papers away. She huffs, watching the ink dry with a scowl.

"Are you alright, Anon? The trust in us to decide the terms of your employment is deeply appreciated, but..." Cadance trails off. She's empathetic, but she's not quite sure towards what. Was he alright?

"He's already getting a pretty good grasp of the situation." Shining explains, offering some clarity as he slowly walks up alongside Cadance, leaning on the table.

All three glance to Anon, who is leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling, muttering to himself as his fingers rapidly tap against his chest, hands interlaced.

"Ah." Cadance hums in acknowledgement. She tended to handle the more Political side of things, while Shining handled the Defenses. They had some staff to hold intermediary positions, but for the most part, Anon would be handling the bulk stretch between what they handled, and the topics in between, the Economy. She just hoped he wasn't a chronic worrier -- or that his findings from Shining's tour weren't so grim to have already sent him spiraling.

"Say, now that we're done with our half of the tour; Cadance, I think you and Anon have a few things on the domestic side to tall about, while Twily and I go do some catching up. Walk around the city, sis?" Shining offers. Twilight beams at the idea, but Cadance glances cautiously to Anon.

"Are you sure he doesn't need a break...?" She ponders quietly. He's muttering something about... butt crystals. For a second, she considers glancing at her own.

"Asked him already. He said it's better if he 'gets it all jammed in now, so he has a plateau to work from'. Won't pretend I understand his methods, but he's already figured a good few things out, and had questions that you're better to answer." Shining explains, gaining a few understanding nods from Cadance.

"Very well. Thank you for your help, Twilight." Cadance smiles, tight which Twilight does an elaborate, exaggerated bow -- before launching back up in excitement.

"Of course! Oh, I haven't gotten to see the Crystal City fully before! Shining -- where's the library?!" Twilight asks, springing from her chair. Shining rolls his eyes, the pair quietly exiting the room as they start up some sibling banter, the doors clicking shut behind them.

Leaving Cadance, and Anon, alone in the room. The last time they'd been alone had been the prison they shared during the wedding a week prior.

...Why was she nervous? There was no reason to be. Cadance softly clears her throat, leaning forward as she watches Anon ruminate.

After a few long moments, punctuated by Cadance sipping her tea a few times, and pouring Anon his own cup, he finally sits forward. Elbows on the table, head in his hands, he looks up to the pink princess sat across from him, of whom he now Advised.

"...Thanks. Alright. Tell me about the Mines." Anon grumbles, lifting the fresh cup to his lips.

Author's Note