Leave Room For Anon

Anon E. Muss, Shining Armor | 1 Week Later | Crystal Plaza

Another week unto his stay, now totally two. Half a month, in funny crystal land.

The food still sucks. Upside, they were in talks with Griffonia for a proper, vetted chef; Ponies wanting a Meat-Eating Griffon Chef raised some questions.

Trying to explain Anon raised even more.

But that's what Cadance is up to, and Anon is not there.

Anon is, however, outside on this beautiful day.

A small gathering of Crystal Ponies watch with curiosity, loosely gathered around the town square. Early morning, the pinkish sunlight peers through a partially clouded sky, softly bouncing off the crystalline material that makes up most of the city.

There's a quiet murmur among them, as a not-so-quiet display happens underneath the long shadow cast by the Crystal Castle. A section of what remains of the Crystal Guard is formed up, just one below a dozen of them, formed into two lines of four, and a front line of three.

Shining Armor, adorned in his fully armored regalia, now styled to sign his allegiance to the Crystal Empire, patrols back and forth in front of the lined guardponies. It now bears a streak of blue to match the color of his mane, similarly styled to the standard guards blue and green armor.

While the Barracks does have its own supplied training yard behind it, surrounded by a sturdy fence, Anon had suggested a more public bout of martial display as a means to reassure the public in the Crystal Guards competency. Perhaps with a proper display, recruitment might even spur up again, witnessing a Guard that isn't seeped in 'big evil bad pony juju', as Anon so quaintly put it. While Shining didn't agree with the exact choice of terminology, spurring the local hearts by familiarizing them with a confident, comforting sturdy guard was something he could get behind.

Anon himself stood a few feet away from the at-attention guards, his own hands clasped behind his back as he quietly observes their little routine. All sussied up in his own, brand new Advisatorial uniform, Anon enjoyed the chance to witness Shining in his element. Did he suggest this whole thing just to get to stand around in public, showing off the new fit? Maybe. Silently and to himself, Anon enjoys feeling like a little El Presidente, watching his loyal troops handle their maneuvers. All he needed now was a fat cigar dangling from his lips, and some morally grey export that drew international attention, all worked by underpaid ponies.

Anon's dictatorial daydreams are pulled away by the sound of Shining yelling orders, the guard changing direction and stances. Knowing of Shining's secret, Anon took a curious gaze to how the mare-in-stallions clothing carried himself. Honestly, if he hadn't been told, he'd have no idea from just observing. A lifetime of carrying himself like a stallion showed, and was probably about as true to his real personality as it could be. Just... a mare, under there. Tomcolt, was the term Shining used if Anon remembers correctly.

...Back to being El Crystal Presidente. They're jogging the plaza for a few laps now, leaving Anon to ruminate, enjoying psuedo-South-America and Carribean overlord fantasies.

Crystal coffee. Or if they had oil, would it also be crystallized? Crystal oil. They had a farm, so maybe Crystal coffee wasn't that for off of an idea. The Crystal Mines seemed vital still, so that wasn't an unfamiliar game of resource guarding; but they came pre-installed with a foreign first world nation with a vested interest, in the form of Equestria. Speaking of, they'd narrowed down the issues. The black shitty-scaffold crystals could be broken and cleared out, but those smokey wisps were the problem. They awaken too quickly and linger too long to get any proper work done. So, refocusing on Sombra was the main goal now. Crack his curses, find his study. Hopefully.

Twilight was an absolute blessing in that regard. She was ripping apart that curse like nobodies business, cracking it like a codex. Had to sacrifice a few parchments and papers for her to experiment with, but they'd actually started making a dent in the cursed pile.

Couldn't last forever, though. Twilight was starting to get homesick, and would probably be heading home in a few days. Had friends to make up with, a library to run, friendship lessons to learn, all that. Still, she was a huge help. Could probably come back later, too.

The guard ponies have rounded the plaza a few times now, and Anon can hear a few of the ponies breaths getting huffier. Shining is taking it in firm stride, not showing so much as a bead of sweat on his brow, leading the pack and calling out running chants.

...Anon had a theory. That some ponies were simply... better. Not in some racial supremacist way... probably. He wasn't sure if was lineage or cutie mark or whatever, but there was undeniably a discrepancy. The Princesses, Alicorns, dwarfed all ponies. That was reasonable, they had the combo deal. Horn, wings, earth-pony-ass. Triple-tribe combo, Retardicorn strength. Cadance was a monster, and she wasn't even the strongest one.

But then you had the sparkle family. Twilight, and Shining, both monsters of magic in their own right. Anon has seen how quickly Twilight takes to new spells, grasping even the complex ones disgustingly fast, and holding a surprising amount of energy for casting them, tiring out far later than other unicorns. The ponies he'd seen around Ponyville tended to get pretty tired pretty quick with standard, comparably minor spells, or were locked to a certain type.

Shining maintained a shield bubble around an entire wedding venue, while being mind altered, while still performing his duties. Was there just some freak strain in the Sparkle genome? The other Elements weren't anything to scoff at, either. Rarity wasn't magically orientated like Twilight, but she's had her moments. Applejack was a powerhouse. Rainbowdash was freakishly fast. The list goes on.

The Apples could be marked as a lineage thing... but Rainbow's family wasn't known for being speeddemons. Probably something he'd spend his life wondering. Maybe that'd be his scholarly pursuit. Write a book about... how some ponies were more like background ponies, and how, despite a near-equal gender ratio, mares just seemed more prominent.

The guards round the plaza a few more times again. Still, Shining is fine, giving Anon a nod as they pass by him again. The guards behind him are starting to space out, visibly breathing hard, running heavier.

Anon's face scrunches, a hand idly feeling the shard that comfortably sits in his pocket. The one he'd gotten from the bench in front of Princess Amore's painting. Something else he was curious about.

She wasn't an Alicorn, but was Celestia's size. The Crystal Empire seemingly had different origins... the Crystal ponies all lacking horns and wings. Yet, Amore had a horn, but no wings. But all the Princesses were Alicorns. Has Celestia told Cadance all she knows about Amore? Or does she even know? They were likely alive at the same time... or was the Alicorn thing limited to Equestria?

Anon honestly wished that more historical documentation had survived. He was quite curious at this point. They had a library, sure, but most of it was general knowledge and story and such. The historical sections took big hits thanks to Sombra.

The guards seem to be slowing down, walking to finish a final lap. Several are openly panting, only a couple still keeping up a trot. Shining is absolutely fine, taking measures breaths as he waits for them, shouting motivations.

Thinking of Sombra, Anon's thoughts filter to his previous fantastical amusements, about being a funny little Crystal Dictator.

Had they been giving him too much power? Possibly. Was it getting to his head? Only a little. While he was just 'The Advisor', supposedly mostly for their relationship, they rarely turned down his ideas and were eager to hear his opinions on nearly every topic. They treated him like some kind of all-knowing scholar, and would often seek his advice on things.

Yeah, made him feel pretty important.

...Was he? He was kind of the Royal Advisor. To one of the three Alicorns. Who ruled entire nations.

Thoughts for later. They're reforming in front of Anon, Shining shifting to face them. Most of the guards look well enough in shape, only a couple huffing and puffing. They were so horse-like, but they seemed to lack the outright endurance of the horses Anon was familiar with. Close, but not quite.

Or maybe it was their relaxed lives and love of candy. That could do it, too.

"ATTEN-SHUN!" Shining shouts, the guards all snapping back to a sweaty attention.

...Sweaty Crystal fur. Interesting.

Shining starts to pace.
"Split into pairs! You will be wrestling your opponent to the ground! You must be ready, as tired as you are, in full gear, to carry yourself with enough strength, and enough wit, to best an opponent!" Shining calls out, turning every few steps.

It was nice seeing Shining actually functional, and not just watching, confused. The Royal element was probably even stranger to him than it was to Anon. Human media gave a lot of wide, blanket understandings to a lot of vague topics.

...Anon wonders if there's, like, pygmy ponies, and if one would make a good court dwarf.

The guards start to pair off with their closest, taking a moment to catch their breath as they spread out. The crowd watching numbers about the same, filtering ponies as they come and go, watching curiously. It's not like much else was going on around here anyway.

With their number at 11, one of the guards is plum out of luck, waiting at attention for Shining.

"No partner? Alright, I'll--" Shining starts.

Idea. Good chance to test, honestly.

"Mind if I butt in?" Anon pipes up, stepping forward. Several heads, including Shining's, turn.

"...Are you sure, Anon? You're not trained. I wouldn't want you getting hurt." Shining warns, taking a step aside. Not a hard no, just cautious.

"Sure. I worked as a dog groomer for a few months, before -- I should be familiar with wrangling things your size." Anon grins, rubbing his hands together. As the only guy, they'd bug him to hassle the big dogs.

The guard he's squaring up with looks offended at the notion, but Shining laughs.
"Alright, sure. I'm interested to see just how that ends up applying here. Granite Gamble! You're sparring with the Royal Advisor -- play nice, will you?"

Gamble widens his stance, snorting loudly. He's a stocky crystal stallion, with dark fur, and even darker hair peaking out from his helmet. Green eyes glare at Anon.
"Won't promise he won't find himself tipped like a tree." Gamble warns.

Anon shuffles over, as the other pairings all get their own spots, far enough that hooves won't hit the other pairs. Lowers himself, hands forward and open.

"Wrestle to the ground until they fold! And don't go breaking limbs -- if you're pinned, tap!" Shining shouts. "Begin!"

Gamble drags his hoof on the ground, like a bull about to charge, squaring up. Cocky, this wise guy... this Royal Advisor, this Human. He had reach. Longer limbs. But they weren't as thick as Gambles. One solid buck to the legs, and he'd topple. Just have to...

There. He's stepped wide. Gamble launches forward, in a practiced spin, launching his back legs out, just waiting for the crunch.

Shining watches as Anon side-steps a very telegraphed back-kick, and... grabs Gambles back hooves.

And picks him up by them.

And spins him in the air, like a carousel.

And laughs, yelling something about gay bowsers.

Gamble gets thrown, tumbling across the plaza floor, helmet flying off -- before he can even reorient himself from his daze, he feels an ungodly weight slam down on top of him.

Shining watches Anon walk over, and sit on Gamble.

The other pairs of guards hadn't even finished their bouts, watching with equal confusion as the crowd of civilians watching some distance away.

Anon leans an elbow on his knee, resting his hand on his head. Admittedly... Anon kind of saw this coming.

He's been picking up ponies for months now, he knows how much they weigh. Twilight, Cadance... Celestia, though he isn't legally allowed to mention that one. And his time being dragged by Changelings, back at the wedding, who were arguably comparable to ponies...

"Rematch?" Anon pokes Gamble's ear. Gamble growls, slowly pushing off the ground. They were still strong, at least -- and that kick probably would've hurt if it connected.

Anon hops back up, rolling his shoulders. Gamble growls, leaps to his hooves -- he barely gives Anon a second to turn around, before charging right for him. No kick.

Gamble leaps, and drives directly into Anon's center, taking them both to the ground.

"Ha, now I've--" Gamble can barely get out, before all of Anon's limbs simply wrap around Gamble, pinning him against Anon's chest. Arms and legs were clamped down on him, and Gamble, straining and grunting, couldn't get up.

Like a cat, thats starting to stand up, but you hold it down in a vain attempt to make it stay longer.

"I will not yield!" Gamble shouts, defiant.

Anon starts scratching underneath his chin.

Three seconds, until he's limp. Eyes rolled back, making an 'ughhhhhhh' sound.

Princess Cadance | Crystal Castle

Cadance, idly roams the halls while perusing some papers in her magical grasp. The latest exchange from Griffonia, trying to find a chef worthy of Royal hiring, that wouldn't cause a diplomatic issue. Surprisingly difficult, as relations between Equestria and Griffonia were not at their best.

But, this was the Crystal Empire. She'd figure something out. Anon deserved that much, in her eyes.

Cadance sighs, wondering where the men that got roped into her life had gone. She doesn't wonder long, double-taking a glance out the window.

Down in the plaza, watched by a small crowd, was some of the guards, headed by Shining. Right, he said he'd be doing a public training display. But what was...

That's Anon, surrounded by three of the guards. They are... not faring well against him. He just picked one up, and threw them into one of the other ones. The third guard got tripped, and Anon body-slams them.

Since when was Anon martially trained?

This was... Cadance folds the papers to the side, leaning on the window sill.

She could stay and watch this a while.

He hoists two ponies at the same time, grabbing one by the scruff, the other under the belly, spinning around with them.

That's right... it took what, near half a dozen Changelings to throw him in the cells with her?

Cadances back legs slowly press together as she watches, rubbing against each other.

...She might not be able to watch this for as long as she thought.

Anon E. Muscles, Shining Armor | Crystal Plaza

This goes on for several minutes, for multiple rounds. Anon is actually working up a sweat, as he takes on multiple groups of the guard ponies at once.

Shining is actually grateful for this outcome. They've been forced to figure out how to work together, against a weird and unknown opponent. A great test for the mind, while repeated attempts test their body.

Shining is also surprised by how wily Anon is. He uses the other ponies as bulwarks against each-other, and handles them carefully, primarily relying in grabs and throws.

Shining wonders how potent Anon might be with a weapon in his hands. He'd heard some of the things Anon had said about his home, about his peoples history... Shining clears his throat.

"BREAK!" He shouts, drawing the groups attention. With relieved sighs, ponies untangle themselves from each-other, slumping to the floor, sitting, and trying to catch their breath. There's a few utterances about how weird Anon is to fight, but for the most part --

Anon just manages to peel one of the guards off of himself, as he hears Shining shout something.

"Not you, Anon -- AMBUSH!" Shining shouts, horn starting to glow it's usual brilliant pink, warning an incoming spell. A little dirty, but with his role as Advisor, he wouldn't be in traditional combat scenarios. He could use a little reminder --

Shining's eyes widen as Anon glances down, and hooks his foot under... Gamble's helmet, that was still on the floor.

And flings it straight at Shining.

That's gonna smart.

CLANG

Shining's concussive spell fires off into the sky, as he reels from the ringing of helmet on helmet contact. To his credit, Shining recovers quickly --

But long legs means quickly closed distances, as Anon strides over the laid-about guards, who watch with wide eyes.

Shining finds himself promptly hoisted off the ground, cradled against Anon's chest, stomach to the air.

To say this was embarrassing, was an understatement.

"Phew -- was that a good reaction?" Anon grins, flashing a sweaty smile at Shining.

That promptly kills the upset retort that Shining was about to fling, instead bringing a flush to his face.

"You know, in this one movie, there was this guy... in a really emotional scene, he kicks a helmet, and the yell he makes after is actually because he broke his --"
Anon starts rambling, still holding Shining against his chest.

"Anon, enough. Mind putting me down?" Shining states firmly.

"Oop, sorry. Down you go." Anon lowers and flips Shining, so he lands on his hooves.

Shining clears his throat, turning to the guards.
"Good to know that even we guard are in capable 'hooves', eh? Practice is done for the day, head back to the Barracks and shower up." Shining announces.

The guard are drawn from their stupefied witnessing, by the promise of not having to do this anymore. They grumble and chatter as they collect themselves, and whatever chunks of armor got thrown off them as they tossed each other around.

"Too much?" Anon grimaces.

"Honestly, I'd like to get you out here again, but properly geared. Mixing training between you, and the other ponies, should give us a formidable force." Shining corrects, giving Anon a nod. "Thanks for the help. And uh... don't pick me up in front of my troops, yeah?"

"Right. Won't happen again." Anon relents, holding up his hands.

"...In front of the troops. I'm pickupable otherwise." Shining mutters under his breath.

"Huh?" Anon tilts his head. "Didn't catch that."

"Nothing. Just grumbling about... their training. See you around, Anon, I have some... stuff to do." Shining says, nods again, and quickly trots off towards the castle.

The moment he's a out of listening distance from Anon, his composure breaks, panting hard. Holy buck. That was... new. That was dangerous. Shining needed a few minutes, badly. Watching him the whole time was one thing, but that? Nothings swooped him up like that before.

Anon huffs loudly, watching Shining stumble a little about halfway towards the castle. Anon shrugs, stretching his back. He squints up at the castle. Earlier, he could've sworn he saw a spot of pink from one of the windows... not there now, though. Maybe Cadance stopped to watch for a few minutes or something.

Anyway, washing up was a good idea. Wrassling ponies was a good workout. Where were the Royal Baths again? Second floor?

He starts to slowly meander over, entirely unaware of how close he came to giving Shining a new kink, nor that said Baths weren't exactly unoccupied.