Dogs Are Like Humans, in a Strange Way
Winona lazed around in the spring sun, the sunlight grazing her white belly. She yawned, stretching her paws towards the sky.
Today was a beautiful day. The sun was bright, the humans were having fun, and a bird landed nearby.
A bird?
Winona focused her eyes, rolling to her stomach. Her eyes weren’t deceiving her; it was a bird! It hopped, pecking at the grass. A growl left her throat. It was practically taunting her!
Winona sprung to action, letting out yips and barks. The bird took flight, soaring overhead. But such things couldn’t stop a brave cattle dog like Winona!
The collie launched herself in the air, snapping her teeth at the feathery foe. Her attempts proved futile as she landed. Winona lept again, a growl leaving her throat.
With a loud clammer, she landed on a table, snacks flying. Winona shook her head, letting the human treats roll off her body. Though some treats stuck to her fur, this didn’t stop her.
She had to catch that bird! Who knows what it could be up to? Winona stumbled over her paws, yips leaving her mouth. She slid across the field, her legs moving in a blur.
“Woah!” A human shouted as Winona shoved past. The bird was so close, she could almost taste it!
“Winona, heel!” Applejack bellowed. Winona skidded to a halt, her tongue lulling out her mouth. She panted, her tail wagging.
Applejack stood over Winona, a knowing glare on her face. Winona lowered her head, her ears pinning back. Did she do something wrong?
Winona trudged behind Applejack, her head hung low and her tail tucked between her legs. Her owner walked silently, her fist clenched. Had Winona done something wrong? She couldn’t think of anything inherently bad. Despite this, she couldn’t help but feel guilty.
The pair wandered into the parking lot, not far from the festivities. A few dozen cars were there, but Winona only recognized one; a gray pickup truck caked in mud.
“Up, up!” Applejack called, patting the bed of the truck. Winona hopped in, staring at her owner expectedly. She sighed, running her fingers across Winona’s fur.
“I’m sorry ‘Nona, but I can’t have you running ‘round like that.” Applejack scolded. Winona lowered her head, letting out a needy whine. “I’ll be back for you in no time. I promise.”
Winona watched as her apple-scented owner walked away. The collie huffed, lying down. What had she done wrong? Was she a…bad girl? No, she couldn’t be! Applejack said she was a good girl every day! But if she was good, then why was she in the truck?
She had only been protecting everyone! Who knows what that fowl beast could have done? She was just doing her job!
“Hey, Winona!” someone called, breaking her from her thoughts. Winona peeked over the truck bed, her eyes landing on a presumably purple puppy. A friend! Winona's tail swished back and forth. She leaped from the truck, landing next to her puppy pal.
Winona inspected Spike, sniffing around his ears and nose. He smelled like he usually did, like dirt and books.
“I wanted to check in on you. I saw what happened.”
Winona’s tail slowed to a halt, and the feeling of shame returned. She whined, hanging her head low.
“Aw, don’t feel too bad. You were just trying to protect us.” Spike reassured. Winona barked before hiding her muzzle between her paws. Spike nodded, his brows furrowing.
“I hear ya. Twilight won’t even let me off leash at the park. Can you believe it?” Spike said, putting his paw to his chest. Winona barked, following it with a sharp growl. “I know! I can talk, and she still treats me like a dog!”
Spike plopped to the ground, glowering at the pavement. His ears perked up, an idea popping into his head.
“I have an idea,” Spike announced, his tail beginning to wag. He looked around the empty parking lot before leaning closer to Winona. “Have you ever heard of Equestria?” Spike asked in a hushed whisper. Winona tilted her head.
“It’s a whole different world! If we could go there, we could be free.” Spike explained, his tail swishing excitedly. “Twilight went once. She told me all about it.”
Winona’s ears shot up. A world where they could be free? That sounded wonderful. She could finally do human stuff, like taxes! Granted, she didn’t know what taxes were, but Granny sure did talk about them a lot.
But…what about her family? What about Applejack? She couldn’t just leave them behind. Winona whined, looking in the direction of the picnic.
“We won’t stay there forever, just for today.” Spike ressured.
Winona shifted her weight, considering her options. On one paw, this seemed like an amazing adventure. On the other paw, this could be dangerous, like birds.
She turned back to Spike. He looked ecstatic, practically bouncing out of his fur. If she said no, she was sure he’d go off and do this by himself. Winona barked, making Spike beam.
“Great! I know just how to get there.”
The two stood in front of a statue. A statue? This was their way to Equestria? Whatever Spike was pulling, it wasn’t funny.
Winona barked, following it with a sharp growl. Spike whipped over to Winona, his eyes wide and mouth agape.
“I’m not tricking you! It’s really magic!” Spike insisted. “Smell it! Doesn’t it smell different than other statues?”
While Winona didn’t exactly believe Spike, it wouldn’t hurt to check. The collie approached the stone, sniffing around the base.
The smell hit her all at once. It was something she had never experienced before! It was like frolicking on a field, eating steak, and rolling in dirt all at once.
Anything that smelled like that had to be magical. Winona was now thoroughly convinced; this had to be a portal. But if it was a portal, how did they get through? Winona was just a dog, not a portal expert.
She whined, nudging at Spike’s hindquarters. Spike knowingly scoffed.
“It’s easy. I’ve seen Sunset do it a million times. We just jump through.” Spike informed. The purple dog reared back before lunging into the statue. Just as he said, he crossed into the portal without a hitch.
Winona looked back in the direction of the picnic. She would be back by the end of the day, she promised. And then she jumped in.
Winona’s body stretched and squashed, breaking apart into a million pieces before putting itself back together. Her eyes were warped, showing her colors she had never seen before.
After a long journey through space and time, Winona roughly landed in…a library. A library? Her body shifted through dimensions for a library? Winona huffed.
“I was expecting better than this.” She grumbled. Winona pursed her lips, quickly looking around. Who said that? Was that…her?
“I can talk?” Winona tested with a slight southern twang. She broke into an infectious grin. “I can talk!” She hopped about, her large tail gnashing around like a whip. It swiped books off the shelves, throwing them to the floor.
“Woah, careful!” Spike warned. Well, she assumed that was Spike. He didn’t exactly look like himself. While he smelled the same, he looked…different. For starters, he was covered in scales. And he was purple! Well, Winona always knew he was purple, but now she could see it.
It was a pretty color, she had to admit.
“You look different,” Winona commented.
“I look different? Look at you!” Spike exclaimed, pointing to her. Now that he pointed it out, she did feel different. Bigger, in fact.
Winona inspected her changed body. Her fur was gone, now replaced by scales. She ran her tongue across her teeth. They were sharper than usual, nearly cutting her tongue. On her back were a pair of wings. She shifted, watching them open and close.
But most importantly, she had hands! She flexed her digits, staring at them in awe. Now she can open as many treat boxes as she wanted! Spike was right; this place was paradise.
“Earth to Winona,” Spike called, snapping his fingers. “We can’t stand around all day. We have to have fun.” He reminded.
Winona looked around the library, tilting her head. Dozens of doors surrounded them.
“How do we get out?”
“We just…uh…” Spike looked around. “I’m sure we can find a way. Come on.” He said, ambling away. Winona followed behind her young friend, taking hold of her new body.
This body felt weird. Not a bad type of weird, just….weird. Winona’s front legs were getting achy from walking. Her legs had never done that before; usually, she could run for hours without getting sore.
And her tail felt much heavier than it usually did. Instead of staying upright, it dragged idly, weighing her rump down.
Soon enough, the pair made it to two golden doors. They matched Winona in height, reaching up to her forehead.
“Finally! I thought we’d never make it to the front door.” Spike rejoiced. He stood on his hindlegs--which looked surprisingly natural--and pushed the door open. He plopped back down on all fours, happily prancing out.
Winona ducked through the doorway, taking in a breath of fresh air. The first thing Winona noticed was how clean the air smelled. The second thing she noticed was how bright everything was. Despite the differences, Winona was still bubbling with energy.
“What should we do first?” Winona asked, looking at Spike curiously.
“I think we should…” Spike trailed off, sniffing the air. “Do you smell that?”
Winona stuck her elongated muzzle out, sniffing the air. Though her senses weren’t as sharp, she could still make out a few things. Grass, water, mud, flowers…food. It was a mix of plenty of things; bread, cake, fruit, but notably, no meat.
Now that Winona could smell it, she was suddenly aware of how hungry she was. She hadn’t eaten since before the picnic. That was two whole hours ago; Winona didn’t know how she survived that long! Drool dripped from her mouth, and she licked her lips.
“Spike, we need to find where that smell is coming from.” Winona insisted. “I’ll die if we don’t.” Spike nodded, hopping in front of Winona. The pair stuck up their snouts, beginning their trek through town.
As they walked through the strange world, Winona realized how big she actually was. She always considered herself a big dog, but this was amazing. Other creatures scattered out of the way for her! She could get used to this.
The pair approached a building, the front littered with carts and bins of fruit. Winona looked at the sign above, squinting at the letters. G-R-O-C-E-R-Y S-T-O-R-E. Man, Winona wished she had invested in reading when she had the chance.
“That’s a bank,” Spike said, pointing to the sign. “I’ve been learning how to read.”
Winona had heard of a bank. That’s where humans keep their riches, and what riches were better than food?
“Let’s go get something to eat,” Spike said, happily smacking his lips. He pranced into the store, ushering the other to follow.
Winona stuck her muzzle through the door, trying to push her head in. The doorframe pressed between her nose, giving her a splitting migraine. The building shook at the sheer force, cracks forming at the walls. The dragon-dog quickly retreated, rubbing her now aching snout.
“I don’t think I can fit.” She whined. Spike looked at the door and back at Winona.
“Hm…yeah. Maybe should stay out here.” Spike suggested. Winona pouted, her new scales drooping. “I’ll be fast, don’t worry.” He hastily reassured. And with that, he went inside.
Winona couldn’t believe it! Her first day of freedom, and she was still waiting outside! At least she wasn’t wearing a leash. Winona huffed, looking to the sky. That’s what she usually did when she was out. Her annoyance quickly dissipated as she gazed.
The sky was a beautiful shade of blue. Well, Winona assumed it was blue; that’s what she heard all the humans call it. Colors were pretty, Winona had to admit. She wished she could see them in her world, too.
“I’m baaaaack.” Spike sang out, dozens of bags tucked in his little arms. Too many bags if you asked Winona.
“Don’t you have to pay for that with monies?” Winona questioned.
“First of all, it's called money.” Spike corrected. “And I just told him to put it on my tab. Humans do it all the time!” He happily informed. “Let's go find somewhere to eat!”
The dragon-dogs sat in a park, comfortably nestled in the lush grass. Pony world grass was much softer than human world grass. In front of them were a plethora of bags. Winona was already drooling, knowing that she’d be having a delicious meal soon.
The duo tore into the bags with their teeth, the paper easily giving way to their fangs. They were like wolves tearing into a deer. Soon, they were surrounded by shredded paper bags.
“Do you want to say a few words before we eat?” Spike inquired, creeping towards the food. A specific smell caught Winona’s attention, making her freeze.
“Wait,” Winona ordered, nudging Spike back. She sniffed around the pile. Chocolate, grapes, avocados, ice cream; she recognized these smells. They were bad, sick smells.
“Spike, we can’t have these. We’ll get sick.” Winona informed. Applejack had told her this time and time again. Spike wagged his finger, winking at Winona.
“Dogs get sick from this. Today, we’re dragons.” Spike reminded. That’s right, they were! That means…
Winona licked her lips before lunging towards the food. Spike quickly followed suit, shoving his snout into the pile.
The two ravaged their food like beasts, catching the horrified looks of passing by ponies. It was like a massacre, stray pieces of food flying about. They snarled with each bite, sounding like they were devouring innocent prey.
The eating was so horrific that the narrator doesn’t think it would be appropriate to finish this description. Sooner than later (and to the relief of the civilians), they finished their meal.
“That was goooood,” Spike said with a happy stretch. Winona could only hum in agreement, her eyes gently closing. Their bellies were full, and it felt wonderful.
The two sat, listening to the wind blow, and the ponies talk. It didn’t sound that much different than human parks, Winona noted.
Winona peeked her eyes open, taking note of everything around her. The horses in this world were weird-looking. They were all colorful-like, some having wings and some having pointy things on their head. If Winona was being honest, she thought they were all funny-looking.
Her eyes shifted through the park, landing on something peculiar. Two cows sat, talking just like humans would. Cows weren’t meant to be out of the barn. Whatever farmer they escaped from would not be happy.
An idea popped into her head. If she could return those two to their farmer, she’d be deemed the goodest girl of this world!
“I need to handle some business,” Winona informed Spike, popping up from the ground. Spike yawned, rolling to his side.
“Okay, but if it’s number two, clean it up. Applejack isn’t here to do it for you.”
Winona departed from the puppy dragon, approaching the small herd.
“Hey, hey you!” Winona barked, towering over the bovine. The cows stopped their conversation, looking at the new dragon.
“Why aren’t you in your stalls?” Winona asked. The brown cow furrowed her brows.
“Pardon me?”
“Your stalls! You’re supposed to be getting ready to get milked.” She informed. “Your farmer won’t be happy that you’re out.” The brown cow scoffed, her jaw dropping open. She sputtered, putting her hoof to her chest.
“Not all cows work at farms! I am a top-class food critic!” The cow huffed angrily. The white cow lifted a knowing hoof.
“And I’m in sales.” She chimed in. Winona frowned. That didn’t sound right. In fact, that sounded ridiculous. Those jobs didn’t even sound real. The only job cows had was giving milk; everyone knew that.
Unless…the cows were trying to trick her! The cows back home did the same thing; why would otherworldly cows be any different? Winona stepped in front of the pair, blocking them off.
“Let’s get going, ladies,” Winona instructed, nudging them toward their picnic. She didn’t exactly know where a barn was, but she could figure that out later.
“Excuse me!” Brown cow exclaimed, hopping from Winona’s claw. She huffed once again, trotting away from Winona.
With her newfound size, she didn’t have to wait for the cows to respond; She could move them as she pleased!
Winona opened her mouth, clamping her maw against the brown cow. It was a gentle nip, barely grazing the cow's skin. The cow mooed, her voice wavering.
“Put me down!” She demanded. Winona ignored her cries, lifting the poor cattle from the ground. The other cow whacked Winona’s hindquarters with her purse.
“Put her down, you ghastly beast!” The white cow ordered, her whacks getting harder. Winona frowned. She couldn’t leave the other cow behind, but she didn’t have another mouth to pick it up with. Unless she used something else. Winona glanced at her dexterous tail, flexing it. That’ll do the trick.
Winona’s tail coiled around the white cow, hoisting her off the ground. Winona’s chest puffed up with pride. Now, all she had to do was find a barn.
She whipped her head around, scanning around for anything farm-like. It was hard to concentrate when two cows were screaming at her.
“I command you to put me down!” The brown cow exclaimed, striking her nose with her hoof. Though it didn’t hurt, Winona sure felt something. Her nose twitched, and something inside of her burned. It built up her chest until…until…!
“Ah-a-choo!”Winona sneezed, the cow flying out her mouth. A white flame quickly followed, scorching the cow's hat. The cow shrieked, scattering away. Winona’s tail flexed, the white cow slipping from her grasp.
“Woowee! That sure was something.” Winona sniffled, rubbing her claw across her nose. She knew her body was different, but breathing fire was something else!
Her eyes began to adjust from her bleary-eyed sneeze. In front of her was a moderately sized flame. It was no bigger than her claw.
No need to panic; Winona could put that out in a jiffy. She flapped her wings, fanning the flame. To her terror, the flame only grew, dancing down the grass.
“Oh no, no, no,” Winona muttered through gritted teeth, chasing after the flame. The more she flapped her wings, the more the fire grew.
Winona filled her lungs with air, puffing out her cheeks. She was big, right? Maybe she was big enough to blow the fire out. Winona exhaled, a much larger flame shooting from between her lips.
The remaining grass ignited, lighting the park ablaze.
“Fire!” One pony shouted. All hell broke loose. Ponies ran in a frenzy, shrieking with terror.
Winona had to fix this and fast. How was she meant to put out a fire? Winona squeezed her eyes shut, scouring her brain for any information. Stop, drop, and roll! Winona had learned that from Applebloom.
Winona flopped atop the fire, shaking the earth as she fell. She rolled across the blazing grass, feeling the warmth against her scales. To her surprise, it didn’t burn. In fact, it felt nice.
She wallowed in the fire, happily panting. She rolled across the park, the flames extinguishing under her scales.
Winona rolled across the land, saving the ponies with her stop, drop, and roll skills. Before she knew it, the fire was out.
“You did it, Winona!” Spike cheered, giving her a thumbs up. Winona looked across the park, a hearty smile spreading on her face. She had saved the day.
“Whadya wanna do now?” Winona asked, her tail wagging.
“Spike!” Someone shouted, catching the pair's attention. A purple pony trotted up, looking panicked and disheveled. Winona sniffed, her ears perking up at the familiarity. It was Twilight! Even as a horse, she had the same nervous, bookish scent.
“What happened? I could see the flames from my castle!” Twilight exclaimed. Spike’s scales shot up like a deer caught in headlights.
“Uuuuh.” Spike droned. Twilight’s concerned look quickly turned into confusion.
“Why are you here? I thought you were with Thorax today!” She reminded. Twilight turned to Winona, looking more baffled. “Who’s this?” Twilight asked. Spike opened his mouth to answer, but the pony spoke over him. “Why are you wearing a collar?”
“Haha, well, you see…” Spike began to stammer. Before he could think of an excuse, Twilight grabbed the collar tag, lurching him forward. She squinted at the words, muttering each of them.
Her eyes widened, and she looked between the dog tag, Winona, and Spike in bewilderment.
“You’re not my Spike,” Twilight stated bluntly. Twilight squinted at the other dragon, her head cocking.
“If you’re that’s the other Spike, then who are you?”
Winona puffed her chest up with pride.
“I’m Winona!”
Twilight’s eyes bulged from her head, and her face fell.
“Dear Celestia.”
The two dragon dogs sat in Twilight’s castle, watching the pony ramble. She paced in front of them, becoming more frustrated with each word.
“I just can’t believe you two would do this! I mean, there aren’t any rules against this, per se, but-” Pony Twilight had been ranting for a while. Was every version of Twilight like this? They must be.
Winona didn’t really understand what she was going on about, but from her tone, she could tell it was bad. Twilight turned to the dragons, jutting her hooves towards them.
“Do you understand how much property damage you two did!?” Twilight huffed. “You shouldn’t even have thought about entering the portal! You are dogs!”
Winona’s mouth hung open. She didn’t know what to say. How could she? She hadn’t talked before today.
“Don’t worry, Winnie, I got this,” Spike reassured, patting Winona’s chest. He turned to Twilight, a smug smile on his face. “What’s a dog?”
Twilight stared at Spike, her eye twitching and a vein popping through her head.
Wordlessly, Twilight put a magical grip on Spike’s tail. In one swift movement, she flung him into the portal. Twilight’s head snapped to Winona, her eyes crazed.
“You go through that portal right now, or I’ll do the same to you.” She ordered through gritted teeth. Winona shrunk down, her scales pinning to her head.
“Yes, ma’am.” She quickly obeyed. Winona shuffled to the portal, trying to evade this Twilight wrath. With a quick inhale, she stepped through the portal.
This time, the transformation felt quicker, the colors draining from her vision.
Winona was spat from the portal, tumbling over her paws. The world briefly spun as she took ahold of herself. Winona shook her head, examining her surroundings.
She was home! Well, not home, but in her world. She stretched her hindquarters, feeling them pop. Man, it felt good to be in her own body.
“Winona!” A familiar voice called. The dog whipped around, her eyes landing on Applejack. Next to her stood Twilight (normal Twilight, not the horse), holding Spike in her arms.
“There ya’ are! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Applejack beamed. Winona ran to her, leaping into her owner's arms. She lapped at her face, giving her wet kisses.
She was home, and Applejack was here! If she was here, that meant everything was okay!
“Where have you been?” Applejack playfully questioned, ruffling Winona’s fur.
“In Equestria.” The other Twilight said. Winona snapped around. She followed them?
Winona whined, ducking between Applejack's legs. Oh, right, consequences. Applejack got up from her crouch, waving happily.
“Howdy, Twilight! What brings you here?”
“Your dogs need to do community service.” Horse (now human), Twilight stated bluntly. Applejack and Twilight--the one with glasses, not the horse--stood with their jaws agape.
“Wha-huh?” Glasses Twilight said in disbelief.
“What could these two possibly have done? They were only gone for a few hours.” Applejack defended.
“Oh, Celestia, where do I begin?” She groaned. “Littering, arson, harassment of cows, thievery, breaking into my castle, and destruction of public property.” Twilight listed.
“Spike!?” Glasses Twilight scolded, bringing her canine eye to eye. Spike gave a sheepish grin.
“At least it was fun?” He nervously chuckled. Glasses Twilight rolled her eyes, tucking Spike under her arm.
“Look, I can’t just let them go,” Pony-human Twilight began to explain. “But I can’t exactly punish otherworldly beings. It’s out of my jurisdiction. Community service is the best I can do.”
Winona looked up at Applejack, who stared back down at her. She sighed, looking back at Twilight.
“Alright, how is this going to work out?” Applejack asked. Twilight shrugged.
“They’ll have to come back to my world to fix what they did. Under a watchful eye, of course.”
Winona and Spike exchanged knowing glances. It looks like their dragon adventures weren’t over.
