The Things They Say About Us

by RunicTreetops

Rating: teen
Tags: Anon, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Profanity, Sex
Length: 1754

Ponies have had a lot to say about Milky Way over the years. They've had a lot to say about Anon after his arrival, too. Thankfully, neither of them care anymore.

Milky Way is well-known throughout Ponyville. Unfortunately, it's for all the wrong reasons. She just wanted someone, anyone, to look past her appearance for a change, darn it! Luckily for her, she's found just the person.

Anon, Equestria's only human, is also used to being judged like that. It shouldn't have been a surprise, then, that he felt a kinship with the awkward mare. Their subsequent relationship did little to quell the insults being thrown their way.

Neither of them really care anymore.

Warning: This story contains discussions (but no depictions) of exactly what you think it does.

Art by Jargon Scott.

Published 2024-02-22 00:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-22 00:40:01 UTC

The Things They Say About Us

“And then she says to me, ‘oh, Milky, I can’t believe you haven’t had something done about them!’ Like, come on! I know they’re weird, and they CAN be a bit of a burden, but they’re still a part of me, ya know? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“That’s because there isn’t anything wrong with that. Those mares aren’t you. They don’t get to have any say in how you present yourself.”

“Right?!”

Milky Way throws her hooves into the air in frustration before folding them over her chest. She sits on the right side of her sofa with Anon, her human boyfriend/roommate, sitting next to her. It was a long day at work for both of them, and in a turn of events that was shocking to no one, she was judged for her large “attributes.”

In other words, just another Tuesday.

Milky’s physique has earned her the ire of most of the mares around her for one reason or another. You might think that this stems from jealousy, but most consider her something of a freak. In Equestria, “smaller” is considered more “beautiful.” To be someone like Milky, who is on the exact opposite end of that spectrum, is to be sentenced to a life of social rejection.

Milky sighs as she leans back against the sofa, letting the chill of the air conditioner wash over her. While wearing clothes isn’t a necessity in Equestria for most, she wouldn’t dare leave home without a particularly baggy dress on or something. Here and here alone, she can relax like any other pony.

“Thanks for letting me move in with you, Nonny. I was getting really tired of having to deal with asshole roommates at my old apartment.”

“Eh, it’s the least I could do. I’ve got more space than I know what to do with. Besides…” He grins as he leans over and pokes her in the cheek. “I like having you close by. It means I don’t have to walk across town every time I want to see you.”

“Which, may I remind you, is always,” they say simultaneously. Milky snorts before letting out an unrestrained laugh.

“You’ve gotta come up with some new lines, Nonny. You’ve used that one before.”

“Well–”

“A few dozen times.”

“Alright, alright.” He chuckles as he raises his hands innocently. “I’ll come up with some new material!”

Milky gently punches him on the shoulder, soliciting another laugh out of him. They’ve been together for a while now, and she’s never been happier. In truth, she gave up hope of finding a boyfriend a long time ago. “Mares like you don’t get boyfriends,” some of her coworkers told her.

Then up came this human, this alien, with a body lacking any fur and a physique even stranger than hers. They met by chance at the market one day, and to her shock, he walked right up to her and introduced himself. Said he was “getting to know the town.” He seemed just as surprised when she greeted him right back. “You’re one of the few ponies that hasn’t trembled in fear when I’ve offered a handshake!”

With that, they struck up a conversation. She didn’t bring up the elephant(s) in the room, but neither did he. It ended up being one of the most pleasant interactions she’d had in months. That’s not to say everypony is mean, but when you’ve lived the life she has, you tend to assume the worst in others.

Then, lo and behold, they bumped into each other again a few weeks later. Just like the first time, they hit it off really well. She wasn’t even doing a particularly good job at hiding her underside that day, but he didn’t say a thing.

It wasn’t until the third meeting that she couldn’t take it anymore.

“You know, you’re awfully weird.”

“Haha, yeah. I hear that a lot. Being a human does that to ya around here.”

“N-no, I mean… you haven’t made any mention of my… appearance.”

“O-oh! Well…” He trailed off, and she felt a bit confused as his cheeks started to go red. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything, after all. “M-my apologies. I think you’re very pretty, Ms. Way.”

“Pretty?!” She stomped her front hooves on the ground and gave him an angry glare. If looks could kill, he’d have been six feet under. “I don’t appreciate getting made fun of, Mr. Anon! Nor was I inviting you to do so!”

“I-I’m not making fun of you!” Anon’s eyes drifted to the side as he rubbed one of his arms. “I mean it.”

“Wh-what about… you know…”

Anon let out a single, anxious chuckle.

“Personally, I think your freckles are quite cute.”

“...” She was stunned. Not since she’d entered adulthood had anyone, in any capacity, addressed her freckles. Their eyes were always drawn elsewhere. Her first instinct was to accuse him of trying to deflect, but he wasn’t even looking at her at that moment. He had to have already identified them, and if the way he was acting was anything to go by… “You’re serious?”

“Aw, come on, Ms. Way. You’re making me embarrass myself.”

“N-no, I mean… ugh. I wasn’t talking about my freckles.”

“Well, I think your mane looks quite nice, too.”

“Stop it!” She closed her eyes and braced herself. “Stop beating around the bush! You know what I’m talking about!”

“I-I’m sorry to say that I don’t. Honest.”

She felt her eyes getting misty as she looked up at him. The way he looked down at her with his head slightly tilted and his face full of concern made her realize something she had been refusing to believe.

He was completely serious.

After an awkward moment where neither said a word, she sighed.

“My breasts, Anon. They’re huge. They’re unusual. They’re–”

“Just as beautiful as the mare they’re attached to.” She looked up at him once more, her eyes wide and her mouth agape. As soon as she locked eyes with him, however, he looked away, the embarrassment on his face just as genuine as his words. “Y-you ponies are the weird ones. In my old world, you’re not really supposed to talk about this stuff.”

“...”

She felt her own cheeks go red, causing her to shake her head. Without saying another word, she ran off, not knowing what else to do in that situation.

Yet, even after all of that, here she is, living with the first man that ever complimented her body like that. Despite how much that day meant to her, however, Anon doesn’t really like to talk about it. Says that “it’s what’s inside that’s important!” Like, yeah, he’s right, but refusing to acknowledge her genuine struggles isn’t healthy, either.

Besides, it’s something he’s had to get used to, as well.

“What about you?” she asks while lazily looking across the sofa with a grin. “Did the guys at work have anything to say about you?”

“Of course they did,” he groans. “‘An ape like you has no idea how to do this job!’ ‘You’re too tall!’ ‘You’re too scrawny!’ ‘You could never keep up with a real stallion!’ Bleh.” Anon opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue mockingly. “As if I’m not the most productive guy there.”

“Just another day for the house of freaks,” Milky mumbles. “I’m sorry you have to deal with that.”

“I’m used to it,” he shrugs.

“Still, it probably hasn’t given you the best impression of Equestria, huh?”

“Eh, it’s no worse than my old world.”

“Wait, really?”

“Really really.” He gives her a warm, almost nostalgic smile. “I’ve always been the butt of the joke, even around other humans. I was ‘weird,’ they told me. Even setting aside the fact that I’m not all that attractive by human standards, I wasn’t really the most sociable guy.”

“Could’ve fooled me. You seem to do just fine around here.”

“Heh, something about being around you draws it out of me. Weirdly enough, even though I stand out even more in Equestria, I feel better about myself. I don’t feel the need to compare myself to anyone. I’m me, and I’m the only person that can be me.” He smiles wistfully at nothing in particular. “That was true all along.” He chuckles and pokes her in the cheek again. “And it’s true for you, too!”

“Yeah, yeah. You and your motivational monologues.” She grins, knowing that even though her words are dismissive, she really does appreciate his efforts to make her feel better about herself. With a stretch, she slowly slides off of the couch and onto her hooves. She yawns as she turns towards Anon. “Wanna go to the market with me? I’d appreciate the company.”

“Sure. What do we need?” he asks with a groan as he stands up as well.

“We’re out of milk.” Anon turns to her with a smug grin and one eyebrow raised. She locks eyes with him for a moment before hers suddenly go wide with realization. Her cheeks go red, causing the freckles Anon is so fond of to become even more noticeable. “Sh-shut up!”

“I haven’t said anything!” The grin never leaves his face, causing her to huff. It’s adorable.

“You’re lucky I love you,” she mumbles through puffed-up cheeks. “And that I can tell the difference between playful teasing and genuine mockery.”

She won’t say it, but she appreciates that he’s willing to joke like that. There’s something about the warmth in his voice and the gentleness of his actions that lets her know he doesn’t mean to insult her. Rather, he’s trying to make her more comfortable with herself.

“So,” he starts with a clap of his hands, “to the market?”

“Can you grab a dress for me, please? And my band?”

“Which ones?”

“Any.”

“Sure thing. Be right back.”

As Anon walks towards their bedroom, she catches herself smiling again. She loves him so damn much. He drives her crazy sometimes, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s someone that isn’t afraid to be himself. Someone that actually likes being around her. Someone that knows what she goes through every day, relates to it, and still loves her.

How lucky is she?

“By the by–”

“Yes, you can play with them later.”

“Woo!”

How lucky is he?!

Author's Note

All bodies are beautiful. Remember to love yourself! :heart:

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!