Schlick.
Schlick.
Shlick.
“Ahh-hhh~”
“...?”
“Oh… um… it’s… okay. It… um… feels… n-nice.”
Shlick.
Shlick.
Shlick.
“...?”
“I... I think so.”
Schlick.
Shlick.
“...?”
“You can.. um… g-go faster. J-just be careful we don’t wake… um… Angel—”
Shlick.
“Eep!"
Shlick. Shlick. Shlick.
“...?”
“Oh... um… y–y-yes. Right… right there, um, please.”
“...”
Shlick. Shlick. Shlick.
“...?”
“Um… y-yes.”
“...?”
Nod nod.
“Mm…hmm… it’s—*gasp!*—it’s… okay… I’m… ready…”
Shlick. Shlick. Shlick. Throb.
“Ahh-ah~<3”
Pt-t-t-t-t-t-t.
Splurt. Splurt. Splurt.
“Oh… um… m-my…”
“...?”
Nod.
“I… um… think… so…”
Drip. Drip. Drip.
“...?”
“Y-yes?”
“...”
“...what… um… what was that?”
“...”
Blink.
“It… broke?”
“...”
“...in... inside?”
"..."
“Oh… um... y-yay?”
Creak. Creak. Creak.
“Hooooie, partner! It’s been a while since we could cut loose like this, hasn’t it? Seems that big ol’ apple tree a’ yours was missin’ its orchard.”
Creak. Creak. Creak.
“...”
“Ahh, it’s fiiine. Apple Bloom n’ Big Mac won’t be back ‘til dark, and Granny don’t wake up fer nothin’ once she’s down fer her nap.”
Creak. Creak. Creak.
“...”
Smirk.
“What’s that, sugarcube? You’ll need to speak up if ya want me t’hear ya.”
Creak. Creak. Creak.
“‘Gettin’ close?’ Well shoot—maybe ah’d a’taken up that stallion’s offer the other night if ah’d a’known my coltfriend was gonna be such a quickshot.”
“...”
“Ha, I’m just jokin’ with ya, cutie. Just make sure ya leave somethin’ in the tank for round two, y’hear?”
Creak. Creak. Creak.
“...”
“Ha, alright stud. Don’t wear yerself out. Just holler when ya think yer gonna let loose and ah’ll—”
“!”
Splurch! Splurt. Splurt. Splurt.
“...”
Creak. Creak. Creeeak~
“...y’think ya just what now?”
“...”
Blink.
“...y’mean… y’mean up in th’ nursery?”
“...”
Blink blink.
“Well shoot…ain’t that a mouthful a’ hay…”
Creak. Shift. Shift.
“...?”
“...nah, it’s nothin’ like that… just… uh…”
Fidget fidget.
"...just... uhhh..."
Blush.
“...y’all ‘ll take responsibility—right?”
Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.
“Wowie zowie! Your thingy sure is getting big!”
“...?”
“Of course, silly-willy! You’ve been pumping my pound cake all morning!”
Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.
“...?”
“Well duhhh. I’ve been doing it all morning! Now it’s your turn to have a super-fantastic, ultra-orgasmic fun time!”
“...?”
“Yep! And don’t worry about the silly old title-whitle—I took extra steps just to be suuuper duper careful.”
“...?”
“The title of the story, silly!”
Giggle.
Audible leg lock.
“Now less yappin’ and more clappin’! This pie isn’t going to fill itself, you know!”
Squeak. Squeak. Squeak-a-squeak-a-squeak-a-squeak!
“...!”
Squeak-a-squeak-a-squeak-a-squeak!
Twitch. Twitch. Throb
SPLURCH.
Squeak-a-squeak-a-squeak-a-squeak!
Splurch. Splurch. Splurch.
“*Giggle.* Holy guacamole! You sure let out a lot of cake batter!”
Splurch. Splurch. Splurppthhbhbhth…
Slump.
“...”
“Heehee, me too! It’s like a warm, fuzzy party in my tummy-wummy!”
“...”
Pause.
“...?”
“Yep! I can feel all your warm, gooey frosting dripping out of my mommy oven! Don’t worry, though—I replaced your boring old condom-wondom with my favorite lucky party balloon!”
“...!?”
“Yep yep! It’s only ever popped once! Well, twice if you count the second time. With that much luck in it, though, we should be juuust fine!”
Pause.
“...”
“Oh? That’s not how it works?”
“...”
Bonk. Tee-hee.
“Oopsie doopsie loopsie!"
Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.
“Oh yes darling. Take me. Take me! Make me your mare~”
Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.
“Oh yes. Yes! Right there! Ruin stallions for me you absolute brute.”
Clap. Clap. Clap.
“I don’t care if nopony will accept our love! Just keep ravaging me with that throbbing, swollen—”
“...?”
Eye roll.
“It’s called roleplay, dear. I’m well aware the girls have already given us their blessing.”
Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.
"...?"
“With Sweetie Belle? Oh good heavens, no—that wasn’t until tomorrow. You think I would go out tonight looking like this?”
Clap. Clap. Clap.
“...?”
“I already told you, darling. My parents weren’t coming to visit until next week. At the very least it will give us some time to air the stench of unbridled lust out of the boutique.”
Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.
“...?”
“Dear, while I don't personally dislike it, this place absolutely reeks of your scent. Do you know how much perfume I had to put on at my last show to avoid smelling like your cock? I swear my coat and mane are absolutely drenched in your stench at this point...”
Clap. Clap. Clap.
“...?”
“Darling—are we really going to chat all evening or are you going to fuck me? A lady can only wait so long.”
Clap. Clap. Clap.
“Mmmn. I’ll take that as a yes~”
Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.
“Oh yes. Just like that. Make me yours.”
Clap. Clap. Clap.
“Oh right there, darling. I’m close.”
“...”
“You’re…*gasp*...you’re wearing one, right?”
Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.
“...”
“Do it… inside... then. Mark this… needy little… mare… as… your own...”
Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Splurch.
“Ah-ahh~<3.”
Squirt. Squirt.
Splurch. Splurch. Splurch.
“Oh… oh darling~”
“...”
“Mmmn. Me too, dear. It’s been far too long since we—”
Pause.
“Darling… what’s that over there?”
Slide. Thump. Trot trot trot.
“Why... that’s odd. It almost looks like—”
Glass cracking.
“Darling... this isn’t… this wasn't the one you put on earlier, was it?”
Pause.
“...”
"...it... it was?"
Glass cracking again.
“Then… then that would mean you just…”
Drip.
Glass shattering.
“Oh… oh my.”
Whump.
Plap plap plap plap plap plap plap.
"...nngh... dude... watch the... mane..."
Plap plap plap plap plap plap plap.
“...?”
“...nghh… sh-shutup. Just… because… your… dick… feels… a… little… bit… nngh!”
Plap! Plap plap plap plap plap plap plap.
“...?”
“...sh-shut… up…”
Plap plap plap plap.
“...”
“Nngh… I… told… you… I’m… not—geh!—gonna—gah!—l-l-lose!”
Plap plap plap plap plap plap squish.
“...?”
“Nuh-uh! That’s… just… l-lube… dummy… I… wouldn’t… get… that… wet… from—”
Plap plap plap plap.
“...?
Pant. Pant. Pant.
“M-mating press? Talk... about... l-lame name... c-central. What’s that… even… supposed to—”
Grip.
“H-hey! What... what are you—”
Flip.
Whump.
“W-wait wait wait! This position!? That’s not—”
Plap plap plap plap plap plap plap!
“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygooooosh!”
Twitch twitch—squirt-t-t-t-t-t-t!
Blorp. Blorp. Blorp.
“Oh…oh buck…”
Blorp. Blorp.
Twitch. Twitch.
Thump.
Pant. Pant. Pant.
“...”
“Sh-shutup... th-that was… a tie… dude…”
Pant. Pant.
“...”
“Nuh-uh. Like twice… t-tops.”
Pant. Pant.
“...?”
“Safe day? Uh, duhhh. We didn't even kiss.”
Pause.
“...?”
“Uh, hello? Everypony knows you can’t have foals without kissing first.”
Pause.
“...?”
“Yeah?”
“...”
“Wait… what?”
“...”
“Wait... what!?”
Rock. Rock. Rock.
“That’s it. Nice and easy. You’re doing great.”
Rock. Rock. Rock.
“...”
“Mm? What’s that?
“...”
“Oh? I thought you’d like it~”
Rock. Rock. Rock.
“...”
“Where? Oh, you know… Cadence might have taught me a few things~”
Magical hum.
“...!”
Smirk.
“Oh? You like that one, too?”
“...”
“I guess I’ll have to add that to the list.”
Scribble. Scribble.
Rock. Rock. Rock.
“...”
“I mean, she is my b.s.b.f.f. It’s not like we don’t talk.”
“...?”
Wink.
“Wouldn’t you like to know~”
Rock. Rock. Rock.
“Mmmn. You’re so big today. Looks like the vitality supplements are working~”
“...?”
“Hmmm...second biggest.”
Wink.
“...?”
“...who? Shining?”
“...”
“I mean, we did grow up together. It’s not like I’ve never seen it before.”
“...”
Rock. Rock. Rock.
“Did you just get harder from that conversation?”
“...”
Smirk.
“Pervert~”
Squeeze.
"!"
Splurt. Splurt. Splurt.
“Oops. Looks like that was a little too much stimulation...”
Rock. Rock. Creak...
“...”
Shake shake.
“Mm-mmn. That’s okay. I like it when you finish inside me.”
“...?”
“What? Foals?”
Smirk.
"You goof—do you even know how many pairs of chromosomes humans and ponies have? That sort of thing is scientifically impossible.... well, unless you count theoretical magical applications of xeno-hippological obstetrics...”
Pause.
“...”
Grin.
“You perv. You just want to get me pregnant—don’t you?”
“...”
“Ha. Liar~”
Kiss.
“Mmmn? That's what I thought."
Creeeeak.
Shift. Shift.
"Now how about you do me while I organize my notes from our last experiment? Volume two of Human-Equine Relations: An Anatomical Overview isn’t going to write itself, you know~”
(Bonus)
Knock knock knock.
Fwish! Flutter-flutter.
“Who dares disturb Trixie from her slumber? The Not Jobless and Very Gainfully Employed Trixie is very busy with—"
“...”
“Oh! Mr. Film Story Human! What can Trixie help you with?"
Clop clop clop.
"Now Trixie knows she might have overreacted a tiny bit last time, but she's given it a lot of thought since then and—"
“...?”
"...excuse Trixie?"
"...?"
Pause.
Pause.
Pause.
“You want to put your what in Trixie's what!?”
Author's Note
Reinspired by the work of a good friend. 
