It's a relatively sunny day in Ponyville, with the residents hustling and bustling in the busy streets, open carts, and heavy trolleys organised perfectly in the open space, overflowing with an abundance of wares and foods, their awnings casting cool, dappled shadows on the ground. Idle chatter filled the air as they exchanged bits for goods. Typically, Applejack would work up a sweat alongside her hard-working ponies, bucking trees or selling apple-based products and whatnot. However, she isn't, as she's currently walking alongside Rainbow Dash, who's lounging on a cloud a few meters above her, arms folded behind her back, her tail swaying slightly, letting out a chuckle and a snort to herself now and then.
"Are ya sure this is alright, RD? Twilight only asked us to check up on Rarity," Applejack questioned, "I don't think she'll appreciate anything ya had planned for her, 'specially since she's been stuck in the boutique for a few days now."
Rainbow poked her head through the side of the cloud, a smirk drawing itself on her face.
Rainbow peeked through the side of her cloud, a mischievous glint dancing in her eyes. "That's exactly what this is! A little pick-me-up to help Rarity unwind and, well, you know, relax or something." She rolled her hoof in the air, seemingly searching for the right words. "Besides, as the undisputed Grandmaster of Pranks, this is guaranteed to work."
"I thought Pinkie Pie held that title," Applejack countered, her brow furrowed in confusion.
"Nu-uh."
"Wha-da-ya-mean, "Nu-uh"?"
"Shhhh, we're here!"
Applejack rolled her eyes. True enough, Rainbow and Applejack stood in front of Carousel Boutique. To the side of the boutique, a wooden floor sign propped up draws the farm mare's attention. Walking over with a raised eyebrow, AJ read the written contents.
"Dear valued customers, we regret to inform you that the Carousel Boutique will be closed for the week in preparation for the release of Rarity's new collection showcasing in Canterlot. We will resume operations next week. Thank you for your kind understanding and patience." Applejack sighed, closing her eyes in resignation. "Still think this is a good idea?" she mumbled, her voice barely audible.
Turning towards the cloud that had carried RD here, she waited for an answer. Silence. A gnawing unease bubbled in her stomach as she trotted closer, her heart pounding against her ribs. With a swift leap, she propelled herself onto the cloud, her hat momentarily disturbing the wispy form.
"Rainbow?"
Peeking through the cloud cover, she discovered the space where Rainbow Dash once perched – empty.
"Gosh darn it!"
~~~
A bead of sweat slid down Rarity's forehead. The constant pacing of stitching from the sewing machine nearly matched the rhythm of the ticking clock hanging on the wall, but its pace was just slightly quicker by a few milliseconds that you could tell apart if you listened closely enough.
Rarity's shoulder ached, and the bags under her eyes and messy mane suggest she'd been staying up for a few consecutive nights. Her body was tired, and her back begged for relief, but she wouldn't give in. She is just a few stitches away from completing her collection right on time for the Canterlot showcase. Finishing the final few touches, Rarity used her magic to lift the dress upright as she adjusted her red glasses on her snout. Tilting her head left and right to check if the proportion of each angle was in the right spot.
The navy blue to dark ombre slip dress has multiple detachable, versatile layers. The flowing, sheer maxi skirt attached at the waist can be added for a romantic, formal look. A tailored blazer with sharp shoulders can be stuck on top for a powerful, work-ready outfit. A playful mini skirt with bold ruffles can be swapped for the maxi, creating a party-ready vibe.
The dress also sports hidden zippers, snaps, or buttons that allow for effortless transitions between the different looks.
Satisfied with the result, she carefully hung the dress onto a display hanger and pushed it to the back door of the boutique. The wheels on the hanger squeaking with each hard push. Tilting to the side, Rarity opened the doorknob with her magic and pushed the door open with her rear. Heaving the heavy metal through the door frame and out into the open, carefully manoeuvring it away from the thick mud puddle on the side and into the light of Celestia's Sun.
Blowing a "Phew!" Rarity wiped the sweat from her forehead as she drank in the sight of the dress and admired her hard work. Those days of hard labour proved fruitful as the dress shimmered in the daylight. The measuring tape around her neck swayed slightly in the gentle breeze, the winds hitting her face and cooling the heat.
"Howdy, Rarity!"
Turning to her voice, Rarity saw Applejack making her way around the boutique and over to her.
"Applejack! What can I do for you?" Rarity inquired with a hint of surprise in her voice.
"The girls and I were getting worried about you. We haven't seen you around since you said you were gonna participate in that Canterlot Showcase."
"Well, you need not worry anymore. I just finished my masterpiece." Said Rarity, using a hoof to guide AJ's attention to the dress. "After one last inspection under the sun, I can finally call it complete."
Applejack looked the dress up and down, giving a short "Huh" as she craned to view the dress from a different angle. Worry crept onto her spine as AJ inspected the dress. Rarity pursed her lips.
"Something wrong, Applejack?"
"The dress's nice, Rarity. Ah just thought there'd be more of 'em." A sigh blew itself from Rarity's lips.
"There are," Rarity said with a wink, "This one dress transforms into several different outfits, each perfect for a different occasion!" She gestured towards the dress's accessories, removing them with a magic pop, separating its pieces into causal attire before switching them out for a more formal look. Finally, Rarity pops its pieces back onto their resting places to return the dress to when Applejack first saw it, its layers flowing gently in the breeze.
Applejack's eyes widened in surprise. "Wowie, that's mighty impressive, Rarity! I don't think I'd see somethin' like that before."
Rarity beamed with pride. "The theme for the showcase is "All in One.' So this is how I've tackled the idea of an all-in-one dress. I call it "Through the Seasons."."
Applejack stared in awe but snapped out of her adoration with a quick shake of her head.
Right, it almost slipped my mind. Just a head's up, but Rainbow—"
A faint rumbling and an overcast over the two friends caught Applejack's attention. Looking up, she saw a dark cloud with a rainbow tail sticking out, waggling in excitement.
"Uh oh," she muttered, recognising the prank Rainbow had envisioned.
Before Applejack could warn Rarity, the dark nimbus split open, letting free a lightning bolt accompanied by a booming sound of thunder. The sudden flash blinds the two ponies, causing Rarity to jump up with a scream, while Applejack uses a hoof to block the light and takes a step back.
The panicked flailing from Rarity's arms caused her to knock into the hanger, pushing it over and letting it fall into the mud puddle beside her. Soaking the dress Rarity had spent weeks working on in filthy browns and splashing the same filth all over Rarity herself. Rainwater soon followed, worsening the dress' condition in the mud. Applejack was lucky enough to have stood outside the splash zone. Had she been but a few steps closer, she too would have suffered the same fate.
As the sound settled, rain continued to pour over the unicorn. Rarity's ear flopped to the side of her head, her mane soaking in the rainwater like a sponge while her glasses slid off her snout. A familiar cackling laughter broke the silence. Still in shock, Rarity only moved her eyes to the source of the rumbling noise, keeping her head still.
Rainbow sat atop the dark cloud, belly facing skyward as she held it with a hoof while another was wiping a tear streaking down her face.
"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity cried, "What have you done?!"
Rainbow laughing died down to a chuckle; still wiping tears from her hoof, she looked over the edge of the thunderous cloud. Eyes locking with Rarity.
"Nice assist, AJ! You should've seen your face! It's hilarious!!"
Rarity kneeled next to her fallen dress, the brown hues of the mud permanently staining the fabric multiple layers deep. Tears threatened to flow from her eyes as she felt her nose becoming congested.
"This isn't funny, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity yelled while she desperately yet gently cleaned off the dress as much solid mud as she could.
Any enjoyment Rainbow had immediately fizzled out, hopping off the cloud. Rainbow landed next to the shell-shocked Rarity, her sorrow-filled eyes rejecting any possibility of making this matter any more light-hearted than it is.
"Um, sorry Rarity. I didn't..."
Rainbow stammered, her voice cracking with genuine remorse. Her laughter was gone, replaced by a sinking feeling in her stomach as she took in the full extent of the damage.
"Didn't...?" Rarity scoffed, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt as she glared at Rainbow. "Didn't know what? That this wasn't a light-hearted prank but a cruel and careless act that could have ruined weeks of my work?"
"Rainbow!" Applejack reprimanded, "What did I tell ya about the prank? Now look at Rarity!"
Rainbow jumped from the scolding and turned to AJ, the farm mare's stern eyes practically dishing out another flurry of unspoken words to the pegasus.
"I-I'll make it up to you, Rarity! Is there anything, anything at all, I can help you with? " Rainbow swooped down, hovering a hoof-length above her.
Rarity snapped her head up, and a glittering light sparkled in her eyes.
"Anything?"
Rainbow gulped.
~~~
The blue pegasus fidgeted within the cold metal restraints. The imposing behemoth of a machine hummed ominously behind her, its metal limbs securing her forehooves, hindlegs, and even the base of her wings. She shifted and craned her neck, her eyes darting back and forth between the contraption and the two ponies in the room with her.
"A-are you sure this is the only way I could make it up to you, Rarity?"
Rarity offered a reassuring smile. "Of course, darling! There is no better opportunity than now to test this piece of fine machinery!" she declared, tapping the side of the massive device like a proud mother. The machine lurched slightly at her touch as if responding to her affection with a hesitant rumble, letting out gouts of steam. "Supposedly, it will give you a dazzling makeover with just a few magic inputs! I've been dying to give it a test drive."
"And why am I getting hooked into this too?" Applejack questions, her hooves all bound to the same machine beside Rainbow.
"Why, my dear Applejack, you see, while you didn't directly participate in the... ahem, 'prank'," Rarity responded with air quotes. "one could argue that you didn't exactly stop Rainbow Dash from her little escapade, did you now?"
"WHAT!?" Applejack gasped, her jaw dropping and her brow furrowing in disbelief."Ah told her not to do it! Ah even tried to warn ya! What more could I have done!?"
Rarity was quick to shove a hoof into AJ's mouth, her eyes closing shut to drown out her yapperings.
"Ah ah ah! No more excuses, my lovely AJ. It's time to start the transformation!"
"W-wait! Maybe we can talk about this?" Rainbow tried to be the voice of reason, but Rarity filtered out her cries with a devious smile.
Trotting over to the side of the hunk of metal, Rarity lit her horn, sending magic signals into an antenna on the side of the machine. Clunky gears meshed, and metal groaned under the strain, the sounds echoing into the boutique.
From the sides of the device, an array of mechanical arms unfolded with a hiss of escaping steam. Its claw grabbers gripped the air multiple times to check if it functioned correctly before performing its assigned task, giving the two trapped ponies a fabulous makeover!
The claws reached into itself, spitting out several make-up sets, an assortment of brushes, a wardrobe of dresses, and a lot of accessories and compliments.
The grabbers reached for Rainbow's and AJ's already bound limbs, seizing them in a tight embrace before their original metal restraints released their grasp in a clang.
Levitating the two into the air, the metal arms pulled two fabrics up and around the two mares. Rainbow Dash found herself enveloped in a cloud of sparkling pink fabric. The claws expertly manoeuvred the dress, pulling it over her head and down her sleek form. Though not expertly enough, some folds of the dress get caught at the base of her wings. Nothing a little tugging and folding her wings in couldn't fix.
The dress, a shoulder-split wonder of sequined pink, hugged her curves in all the right places, accentuating her athletic physique, and flowed down into a playful, long skirt that fluttered with every little movement.
The claws descended, brandishing a pair of high heels unlike any Rainbow had ever seen. They were a shocking shade of pink, the colour of cotton candy dipped in glitter, and boasted heels that seemed to teeter precariously on the very edge of practicality. With a surprising amount of finesse, the claws carefully manoeuvred the shoes onto Rainbow's hooves, the delicate straps wrapping around her ankles with a disconcerting tightness.
Next came the gloves. These were no ordinary gloves, mind you. They were white silk evening gloves that reached all the way up to Rainbow's elbows. The fabric, pristine and delicate, felt utterly alien against her fur. The claws, oblivious to her discomfort, proceeded to tug and pull. With mixed success, Rainbow's bent elbows prevented the claws from completely pulling up the gloves entirely. A defiant huff came from her lips, but her efforts were ultimately fruitless as more metal claws forced her arms straight, smoothing out any wrinkles and ensuring a flawless fit.
The defenceless pegasus watched in horror as the star-shaped earrings were presented to her. The metal, cold and foreign against her warm fur, gleamed under the harsh overhead lights. A claw, its grip surprisingly gentle despite its metallic nature, reached out and selected one of the earrings. It hovered for a moment, seemingly gauging the precise location, before leading with unerring precision, the sharp point of the earring post finding its mark with a near-painless nudge. The claw then pressed the post gently but firmly into place, securing the earring without causing any discomfort.
Relief washed over Rainbow as the unfamiliar weight settled against her ear, and the process repeated with the other earring in a similarly deft manner.
Next, the claws presented a delicate heart-shaped choker crafted from a shimmering silver that contrasted beautifully with her pink dress. The metal prongs holding the choker hovered near her neck, its metallic fingers gently nudging aside the stray strands of her mane that threatened to obstruct the process. With a soft hum, the choker seemed to split open momentarily, creating a gap just wide enough for Rainbow's neck to slip through. The two halves clicked shut with a satisfying snap as the choker settled into its original form.
A claw then reached out with a single metallic finger, delicately adjusting the position of the choker until it rested perfectly against her fur before retreating from her sight.
Another claw came into view, its grasp held aloft a single bracelet. Working in perfect unison, the other claw from the side held open the bracelet, revealing its intricate lightning bolt design etched in gleaming gold. With a slow, deliberate movement, the first claw carefully guided the bracelet towards Rainbow's foreleg, the open end of the bracelet lining up perfectly with the exposed part of her leg, and with a soft click, the two ends snapped shut, securing the bracelet in place.
The process was repeated for the other leg. As the final click echoed in the tense silence, Rainbow found herself adorned with the golden cuffs. A sigh escaped her,
"It's finally over," the pegasus muttered, her voice barely audible above the machine's whirring.
Rainbow struggled to unfurl her wings, waiting for the sweet release she hoped for. It never came, as a make-up set is pushed into her line of sight, with several different make-up brushes and a hair styler close by.
"Oh, come on!"
"Now, now, darling," Rarity cooed with an undercurrent of amusement. "A makeover isn't complete without a touch of hairstyling and some proper beautification, is it?" Rarity swore she could see a glisten of tears wipe Rainbow's eyes.
Before Rainbow could muster a protest, the claw carefully picked up a section of Rainbow's mane, holding it aloft between its metallic fingers. With surprising agility, it dipped the brush into a pot of what appeared to be a shimmering pink gel, generously coating the bristles.
It gently combed through the section of mane, distributing the gel evenly and detangling any knots. Then, with a curl of its mechanised wrist, the claw twisted the section of hair, gently twirling the locks in smooth rotations, creating a loose, natural-looking wave. The claw repeated this process methodically, working its way through Rainbow's mane and tail, section by section. As it did, the once vibrant blue locks seemed to soften, their natural bounce replaced by a cascade of gentle waves that framed Rainbow's face in an unexpected and strangely flattering way.
Another claw materialised next to her, this one holding a small palette of vibrant pinks. The claw first dipped a pencil brush into the lightest shade of pink. It carefully lined Rainbow's upper and lower eyelids, starting from the inner corner and extending outwards in a thin line. Then, the claw switched to a soft, tapered blending brush and dipped it into the same shade. It gently swept the colour back and forth across Rainbow's eyelid, blending it seamlessly into the crease of her eye and softening the sharp lines created by the pencil brush.
However, the repeated action of brushing across her eyelids caused a great tickling sensation across her face. This made her twitch involuntarily in an attempt to relieve the itch. Each twitch, however, caused the claws to pull back momentarily, disrupting the delicate process. Frustrated, the claw holding the brush firmly grasped her cheek, its metallic fingers surprisingly gentle despite their strength to keep her still and allow the claw to continue its work. Rainbow squirmed and giggled helplessly, the situation bizarre and strangely arousing.
Next, the claw picked up an angled brow brush. Dipping the brush into a slightly darker shade of pink and using it to create a subtle crease in the outer corner of Rainbow's eye adds a certain depth and definition. The claw then used the same brush, dipped in an even darker shade, to delicately blend a thin line of colour along Rainbow's lower lash line, creating a subtle smoky effect.
It returned to the blending brush, this time dipping it into the brightest shade of pink in the palette. It applied a small amount of colour to the centre of Rainbow's eyelid, directly above her pupil, and blended it outwards to create a soft gradient effect. The claw repeated this process with progressively darker shades of pink, working its way towards the outer corner of her eye. The final touch was a touch of shimmer, applied with the tip of the pencil brush dipped in a pot of glittery eyeshadow.
A third claw, glinting ominously, presented a tube of black mascara. The tiny brush at its tip extended, its movements quick and efficient. It painted a thick line along the base of Rainbow's eyelashes, then meticulously separated each lash, coating them in a layer of inky blackness. Rainbow blinked instinctively, the unfamiliar weight on her lashes causing a strange discomfort.
Lastly, the pièce de résistance. A final claw emerged, holding a small, ornate bottle filled with a clear liquid. A gentle mist sprayed forth, enveloping Rainbow Dash in a cloud of cloyingly sweet perfume. A saccharine concoction of berries and candy floss assaulted her senses, making her wrinkle her nose in disgust and clinging onto her fur and dress.
Across the machine from Rainbow Dash, Applejack watched the pegasus's transformation with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment. While Rainbow writhed under the ministrations of the mechanical arms, Applejack couldn't help but snort with suppressed laughter at the sight of her friend. She never thought she'd catch Rainbow in a million years in that get-up.
But now that Rainbow's transformation was complete, the machine turned its attention to the farm pony. Applejack braced herself, her tail twitching nervously as the claws descended.
The first claw presented a stunning red dress, its v-neck design dipping low enough to hint at her fluffy chest. The dress flowed elegantly around her form, hugging her curves in a way that surprised even Applejack.
The shoes came directly after. The claw showcased a pair of red heels that clicked ominously against the metal platform. Applejack gulped, eyeing the precarious stilts with a healthy dose of apprehension. With surprising gentleness, the claw manoeuvred the heels onto her hooves, securing the straps with a delicate touch.
Undeterred, the claws continued their work. A pair of black evening gloves, smooth and cool against her fur, emerged from the machine. They were unlike any gloves Applejack had ever seen, crafted from a material that shimmered with a subtle sheen and lined with soft, white silk that felt luxurious against her fur. The movements of the claws were surprisingly nimble as they carefully extended each glove, unfolding them with practised ease.
With one claw gently holding her foreleg still, the other claw reached down and grasped the top of the glove. It then slowly worked its way down, inch by inch, carefully smoothing out any wrinkles or folds in the material as it went. The coolness of the glove material sent a pleasant shiver up her leg, and for a moment, she almost forgot the awkwardness of the situation.
Once the glove reached her hoof, the claw paused, its metallic fingers hovering just above her pastern. Then, with a gentle nudge, it encouraged Applejack to bend her leg slightly. Giving way for the claw to slip the glove past the widest part of her hoof and onto her lower leg. The process was repeated for the other leg, with each movement being careful and gentle.
With delicate movements, the claws picked up a tiny, pearlescent button and secured it through the corresponding buttonhole. Fitting the gloves nicely on her legs.
Applejack's jaw dropped, and her eyes widened in disbelief and horror as a claw holding a pair of diamond earrings approached her.
The claw hovered for a moment, its metallic fingers eerily still. Then, with a suddenness that made Applejack flinch, it lunged forward, its sharp point aiming directly for her earlobe.
"W-whoa there! Careful where you point that thing, you hear? My ears ain't holes for yer fancy rocks!" Applejack said with false bravado.
A scream rose in her throat, but it died on her lips before it could escape. With a surprising skill for its mechanical nature, the claw paused just before making contact. It nudged gently against her ear, prompting Applejack to instinctively turn her head slightly. This slight movement appeased the claw, retracting the sharp point ever so slightly.
Relief washed over Applejack in a wave so intense it left her legs weak. However, the reprieve was short-lived. The claw extended a single metallic finger, its tip cool against her warm fur and brushed against her caressingly. Nudging aside a stray strand of her mane that threatened to obstruct its path.
Applejack squeezed her eyes shut, bracing for the inevitable pain. But it never came. Instead, she felt a slight pressure, followed by a faint prickling sensation. It was uncomfortable, certainly, but not the excruciating agony she had anticipated. A moment later, the pressure eased, and the claw retracted.
Hesitantly, Applejack cracked open one eye, then the other. The diamond earring dangled from her earlobe, brilliantly reflecting light shined on it, a miniature rainbow even finding itself dancing on the gemstone. The weight of the diamonds felt foreign, giving her ears an unnatural workout.
The arms weren't done yet as they hovered over a string of pearls before her. Each was as large as a marble and white as freshly fallen snow. Unlike the earrings, the claws were quick to sling it over Applejack.
During her distracted state, Applejack didn't notice a pair of golden cuff bracelets positioned perfectly around her foreleg with a well-oiled click, securing it firmly in place.
Replicating the procedure it had done with RD, the machine combed through her mane, detangling any knots and coaxing the coarse strands into submission. Then, the arms began to work its magic. It carefully sectioned off a portion of her mane, holding it aloft with metallic fingers.
A smaller claw, holding a curling iron that seemed to hum with internal heat, descended beside it. The curling iron's tip glowed a soft orange as it carefully pressed against the section of mane, holding it for a few seconds before releasing it with a wisp of steam.
The heat from the iron pressed against her mane tickles AJ's scalp as a quiet sizzle vibrates her to her head. The claw holding the section of hair then gently manoeuvred it into a loose, bouncy curl, letting it cool and set in its new shape. This process was repeated methodically, section by section, until her once straight mane was transformed into soft, playful curls.
A third hand equipped with a pencil brush with a thin, firm tip dipped it into the darkest shade of purple, then carefully lined Applejack's upper eyelid, starting from the inner corner and extending outwards in a thin line. The claw then switched to a soft, tapered blending brush, its fluffy bristles diffusing a slightly lighter shade of purple. It gently swept the colour back and forth across Applejack's eyelid, blending it seamlessly into the crease of her eye and softening the sharp lines created by the pencil brush.
Using an angled brow brush, it dipped the brush into a shimmering shade of purple and used it to create a delicate, smoky effect. The glitter adds a unique, dazzling effect to the darker tone of the eyeshadow.
The claw then dipped the blending brush once more, this time into the lightest shade of purple in the palette. It added a slight touch of colour to the centre of Applejack's eyelid, directly above her pupil. It then gently blended outwards to create the same soft gradient effect that it had done on Rainbow, fading it seamlessly into the rest of the eyeshadow.
Finishing her eyes with mascara, a claw swirled the cap in the bottle with a few audible clanks of glass before whipping out the tiny brushes, its bristles coated in opaque black, and brushed her lashes in a reasonable amount of dressing.
Moving on to another hand holding a small, ornate bottle filled with a clear liquid. A sweet, cloying scent wafted from it. The claw hovered, then misted Applejack in a suffocating cloud of the sickly sweet fragrance. Causing her to cough up a storm.
As that happened, two grabbing claws reached down above her before pausing with a black wide brim hat. Lowering slowly, not to draw her attention, it extended out slightly before pulling back. In a blink, the claws swapped AJ's hat with the one in its grasp. Pulling off a switch that would even make Indiana Jones proud.
Applejack blinked the itch away as the grabber, at long last, let her go. Unlike Rainbow, she hadn't struggled as much, so the process was much smoother than the pegasus. Other than the earrings, of course.
Rarity stepped into the open, drinking in the sight of the two mares.
"You two look—" Rarity began, her voice trailing off as she surveyed her handiwork.
"One hundred percent lame," Rainbow deadpans, cutting her off mid-sentence.
"-one hundred percent fabulous!"
"Fabulous?" she scoffed, glancing down at her outlandish pink dress and sky-high heels. "Rarity, this get-up wouldn't look fabulous on a parade float, let alone me."
"But you're missing something, Dash. Hm, ah, I know!" Trotting out, Rarity trots back in, a flower in her magical grip. She settles it in Rainbow's hair.
Rainbow glanced at Applejack, who seemed to be adjusting to her red dress and wide-brimmed hat with surprising grace.
Suddenly, Rarity reappeared, a triumphant smile lighting up her face. In her magical grip, she held a single, perfect flower. Its petals are a vibrant shade of white. Rarity floated the flower towards Rainbow, wiggling it into the side of her right ear, its stem securely digging into her mane to keep it in place.
"There! You look marvellous, darling!"
Rainbow blew a raspberry, her eyes narrowed under the weight of the ridiculous hat, lids drooping unamusedly. "That's all, right?" she drawled, "You had your chance to test that dress-up machine on me. Sooo, we're even right?" She finished with a tug of the dress off her shoulder.
Rarity revealed a smirk. "When did I say..." she took a step forward, looking straight at her. "we were even?"
Rainbow took a step back, a cold sweat breaking out and a chilled spine telling her not to stay for what Rarity had in store. "Oh no, no, no! I'm not going along with whatever you're planning anymore! I'm outta here!" Spreading her wings, Rainbow tried to take flight, but claws quickly reacted to her movement, "Gah!" was all she could muster as they bound her hooves and wings in wrapped gift-giving ribbons, the white silk adding adorably to her outfit.
A final spin and twirl around her snout, and she was muzzled. Taking away her ability to speak in coherent sentences, though it didn't remove her privilege of making audible, muffled, disgruntled grunts. Nor did it remove her wiggling efforts to break free of the bindings. But as that wasn't humiliating enough, the claws saw it fit. They place a bow next to the flower hooked at the side of her ear, increasing Rainbow's already maniac retaliation and earning her a snicker from Rarity.
Applejack was next to take a step back.
"N-now, hold on there, Rarity..." she stammered, her voice wavering slightly. "No need to get rough and all. Let's all be amiable about this, alright?"
Rarity's smile turned predatory, the playful glint in her eyes replaced by a mischievous glint. She sashayed closer to Applejack, her voice dripping with mock sweetness. "Oh, AJ, darling," she purred. "If you don't want to end up like our dear friend Dashie over here," she gestured towards the muffled pegasus with a flick of her tail, "then you know what to do."
~~~
Applejack felt like a prize tomato at a vegetable judging – her face burned with a heat that rivalled Ponyville's hottest summer day. It had been ages, literally ages, since she'd felt this level of sheer, unadulterated embarrassment. Back on the farm, dirt and hay were badges of honour, not fashion faux pas. Yet, here she was, trussed up in a red dress that wouldn't look out of place on a Canterlot socialite, complete with a pair of high heels that threatened to topple her at any moment.
The worst part? The stares. Oh god, the stares, they followed her everywhere – on the walk to the train station, a gauntlet of surprised whinnies and curious neighs. On the train ride to Canterlot, everyone aboard seemed to crane their neck for a better glimpse of the usually down-to-earth farm pony dressed like a fashion icon. Now, perched in an open carriage drawn by a pair of snickering taxi ponies, her prominent identity being the Element of Honesty backfiring in every shape and form. Applejack couldn't escape the barrage of curious gazes. Every corner seemed to harbour a pair of eyes. All were fixated on the spectacle of Applejack in a dress and makeup.
Rarity, perched beside her, sipped her tea.
"Sugarcube," Applejack finally mumbled, strained and silenced by the muzzle, "Maybe this whole 'makeover magic' wasn't such a brilliant idea after all."
Rarity set her tea aside, somehow understanding what Applejack said through distorted breaths. "Well, AJ. It's a bit too late to pull out now. We're already at Canterlot, and wouldn't you want to make a grand entrance at my boutique?" Her voice took on a conspiratorial whisper. "Besides, a little mystery never hurt anyone's image, don't you think?" she goads.
Applejack let out a muffled groan trapped behind the silver muzzle. The carriage jolted as it began its descent, the cobblestones of Canterlot a stark contrast to many of the smooth dirt roads of Ponyville. She slumped further back in her plush seat, the universe seemingly taking pity on her misery as her hat slid forward, shielding her eyes from more onlookers.
This caused her ears to perk, as the usual brown didn't greet her to meet her eyes whenever her hat was pulled down.
"Wait," Applejack muffles, "Where ma hat!?"
The carriage's rhythmic rattle transitioned into a jarring halt, jolting Applejack back to the present as Rarity deposited her teacup into her saddlebag. Rarity remained unfazed by her friend's sudden outburst, gently nudging Applejack out of the carriage and onto the cobblestones with a sly smile. "Come along, Applejack," she chirped, "Canterlot awaits its newest fashion icon!"
Inside the boutique, several camera ponies were on standby, poised around the stage, their flashing bulbs momentarily blinded by the bright afternoon sun filtering through the shop's window. Moments earlier, their excited chatter had filled the room as they prepped for an exclusive reveal. But the sound died instantly upon hearing the telltale creak of the door and the accompanying chime of a small brass bell.
In comes Rarity, pulling a not-so-happy Applejack behind her, her hooves clicking awkwardly on the polished marble floor. The room erupted in a flurry of activity. Camera flashes erupted like a miniature lightning storm, momentarily blinding Applejack even without her hat. Reporters, their voices a cacophony of questions and exclamations, jostled for the best position.
"Everypony, may I please get your attention?" The room quieted as quickly as it erupted, the camera flashes subsiding. Eager reporters still shuffled for a position, but a grudging respect for Rarity's reputation kept them at bay.
"This lovely mare," Rarity continued, gesturing towards Applejack with another flourish of her tail, "is the pony I promised would join me for today's photoshoot!"
Applejack craned her head to her, very slowly. It was so slow that the reporters swore they could hear creaking noises coming from Applejack's neck.
"Rarity, no," she mumbled through the muzzle, the words choked back into a muffled whine.
Now it was Rarity's turn to crane her head to AJ, a supervillainous smirk crossing her lips.
"Rarity, yes~!"
Suddenly, the boutique's quiet was shattered by the soft thud of several hooves. Confused at first, Applejack looked down to see six strong hooves firmly securing themselves around her legs. With a gasp muffled by the silver ribbon-like muzzle and a questionable amount of consent, Applejack was swept off her hooves and carried to someplace she wasn't sure of.
A chorus of surprised yelps erupted from the gathered journalists, but Rarity's commanding voice quickly drowned it out. "Take her to the studio!" she declared. With surprising efficiency, They whisked Applejack towards a pre-prepared white backdrop at the rear of the boutique. Plopping her rump on a surprisingly soft, red velvet cushion.
Magic from several horns began to free her from her silky restraint. In the process, several blinding white flashes went off from the multitude of cameras surrounding her from every corner. Taken aback by the sudden wave of light, Applejack brought her freed hoof to her eyes to shield herself from the relentless onslaught.
"That's it, madame Applejack!" A pony behind the camera said with a very thick Prench accent encouraged. "The femininity! The purity!"
As the director finished his monologue, the rest of the ribbon bindings were finally undone. Allowing her ease of freedom from here on out, she looks back to the director, his gleeful smile flashing even brighter than the cameras pointed to her moments ago.
"Now, for our first pose," he chirped, his voice dripping with creative zeal, "Let's go with something sultry yet sophisticated. AJ, how about lying on your side, resting your chin on one of your hoofs while, say, the other hoof pulls the skirt up from your hindleg just a little? You know, to show a hint of ankle?"
Applejack's jaw dropped. All thoughts of missing hats or blinding flashes flew out the window, "Lay on mah side?" she sputtered. "Resting mah chin on mah hoof? And showing... ankle?" The very suggestion sent a blush creeping up her neck. "Now, why in the hay would ah do that?! What kind of photoshoot is this anyway?!" she finally blurts out.
The director, a portly pony with a neatly trimmed goatee, pushed his sunglasses down his snout. Though, Applejack doesn't understand the concept of wearing sunglasses indoors. It must be something only those high societal ponies do. Through the narrow slits of his shades, one eyebrow arched skeptically, seemingly asking the question independently.
"You are here to repay the damages done to madame Rarity's dress, are you not?"
"I ain't even the one who ruined it!?"
The director snorted. "Well, whatever the case may be," he drawled, "Madame Rarity said you're here to act as a stand-in model. What we're really interested in here is the dress!" The director said, pointing a hoof at her outfit. "Don't worry, madame Applejack. You're safe in our hooves."
Applejack stole a glance at the watchful crowd gathered beyond the white backdrop. Reporters, stylists, and Rarity's assistants all peered through with an intensity that made her feel like a bug on a pin. Still protesting in its high-heeled prison, her hoof tapped nervously against the plush studio floor.
She turned her gaze over to the general direction where Rarity would be waiting outside the room, then to the director, then to herself.
With a heavy sigh, Applejack lowered herself onto the plush cushion he had positioned. The director seemed to hold his breath momentarily, then barked an order.
"Alright, perfect! Now, AJ, remember, sultry but sophisticated. Chin on the hoof, other hoof reaching just slightly… there you go! Maybe a touch more leg, but keep it classy, darling!"
Applejack, feeling every bit out of place and thoroughly ridiculous, did as instructed. Her chin rested awkwardly on her hoof, the unnatural position sending a dull ache up her leg. The other hoof, tentative at first, hovered just above the hem of the red dress.
"...M-make it quick..."
~~~
It's dark, very dark, it's quiet, too, except for the occasional bump here and there. It's been a couple of hours since Rainbow last saw Celestia's sun; surely, it has to have set by now. Not that she could tell after being stuffed into a crate by that godawful machine. The last sliver of sound that had reached her through the thick wooden walls of the crate was Rarity's smug voice, chattering about some "special delivery" before the crate was roughly tossed and turned. Interestingly, the familiar feel of ears popping is a telltale sign to Dash of altitude changes, though she doesn't know where. The rummaging and vibrations stopped, and a sweet aroma filled the box where she currently resides.
After a few cracks and sounds of splinters echo from the corners of the enclosure, the walls around her fell, revealing an extensive dining interior. Cerulean pillars, the colour of a clear summer sky, stood sentinel-like at fixed intervals along the walls. The crimson carpet stretched out before her in a perfect circle, embracing a cluster of polished mahogany tables. The floor was sparkling from the overhead chandelier, reflecting the ornament from its speckless surface.
Several ponies surround her, all in butler and maid attire. Rainbow figured they were the ones that undid the crate caging her. They worked in perfect unison, efficiently clearing the wooden planks and pieces around her in a matter of seconds.
"Rainbow! So glad Rari-Beary stuck with her promise!" A voice call from the other side of the table.
" "Rari-Beary?" That's a first." Rainbow snorts before freezing once she realised who that voice belonged to. Turning to face the table, her gaze reached past the sleek flowerpot holding a small bouquet of roses; sat Zephyr Breeze in a nice tuxedo, the smell of hair spray so heavy it threatened to asphyxiate her. "No way..."
"That's right, Rainbow Dash!" he crowed, his voice dripping with manufactured confidence. "A date with yours truly!" He leaned forward, his elbows propped on the table, his perfectly styled mane not moving an inch no matter how much he shook his head. "I just know how long you've been waiting for this!"
"...I don't have the energy for this." Rainbow flared her wings, trying to free herself from the bindings, but Zephyr was quick to act.
"Whoa there, Cupcake! Take it easy. Heard through the grapevine about the awful makeover mayhem she put you through." He said it with a reassuring tone that didn't sound reassuring. "Why not eat up before leaving? Surely you must be famished after all that… moving and whatnot." His voice trailed off uncertainly,
Rainbow considered this for a moment. On one hand, the very notion of sharing a meal with Zephyr was enough to churn her stomach in more directions than one. On the other hand, the aroma wafting from the kitchen's backdoor and the dishing on the tables around them was undeniably enticing. Plus, the live unboxing had garnered eyes from all across the room. It'd be awkward to try to leave now.
"Minus well roll with it..." Rainbow rolled her eyes, trying to get comfortable in her seat, but the dress clinging to her body seemed to go against her wishes at every conceivable angle. Shuffling once more, she huffed a sigh in defeat, the uneven folds beneath her victorious. Choosing to focus her attention on the menu in front of her, she flipped open the cover with her mouth, and upon reading the first line of the listed items, Rainbow scrunched her nose in confusion.
The text was in the most slanted italics Rainbow had ever seen. It was practically horizontal with how much they swayed the text. Shaking her head, she scanned the menu, finally settling on a dish that at least sounded familiar: pasta. She pointed a nose towards the image with a touch more force than necessary and addressed the patient waiter hovering nearby.
"I'll have this one," she declared, her voice clipped.
"The Mushroom Cream Pasta is an excellent choice, ma'am," the waiter replied smoothly, unfazed by her less-than-sunny demeanour. "And what can I tempt you with, sir?" he continued, his gaze shifting to Zephyr, whose smug grin had faltered slightly under Rainbow's withering glare.
A beat of silence hung before Zephyr cleared his throat, straightening himself in his chair a tad too self-consciously. "I'll have your gourmet salad, thank you very much~"
"Certainly," the waiter confirmed, jotting down their orders with a practised flourish. "Your meals will be right out, then." With a polite bow, he glided away, leaving Rainbow and Zephyr alone in the strangely opulent dining room. The silence followed was thick with unspoken tension, punctuated only by the soft clinkings of silverware from nearby tables.
Noticing the dying atmosphere, Zephyr decided to make conversation. "So, Rainbow Angel," he began, his voice a touch too chipper, "how's your Wonderbolt training coming along? Still breaking every sonic barrier in sight, I presume?"
Rainbow, caught off guard by the inane question and the nickname, sputtered for a moment. "Uh, great... I guess?" her heavy and unwelcome reply hung in the air for a moment, effectively killing the fragile bubble of conversation that Zephyr had tried to inflate. He chuckled nervously, a forced two-syllable laugh that did little to mask the awkwardness. Rainbow raised a single eyebrow at him, unsure whether to be amused or annoyed by his transparent attempt to break the ice.
Taking a deep breath, she decided to return the favour. "What about you, Zephyr? How's your salon going?" she inquired, her tone laced with a hint of forced politeness. Secretly, she hoped his answer would be so mind-numbingly dull that he would go on one of his long tangents, and she wouldn't have to pay attention before the "date" truly began. Then, she could polish off the delicious-looking pasta, excuse herself to the nearest window, and be miles away from him.
To her surprise, a genuine smile, removed from his usual smugness, spread across Zephyr's face. "I'm so glad you asked, Butterfly!" he exclaimed through Rainbow's groaning, a hint of pride colouring his voice. "My salon is thriving like never before. We just launched a new mane care line infused with griffon feather keratin – it's all the rage in Canterlot! Why, just yesterday, Princess Luna herself came in for a royal treatment."
Now, this caught her attention.
"Princess Luna?" Rainbow reiterated. "At your salon? For a mane treatment?"
"That's right!" Zephyr puffed out his chest, clearly basking in the perceived importance of the news. "Apparently, her nocturnal schedule really does a number on her mane, you know, all that staying cooped up in her royal quarters so she could dream walk. Split ends galore, I saw! Oh, the terror! "He shuddered dramatically, his perfectly styled forelock wobbling with each vibration.
"But fear not," he continued, his voice taking on a heroic tone, "our formula was there to save the day, or rather, the mane Was what I told her before I swooped in with our treatment." he mimicked the action, causing a balanced grape from his salad to tumble onto the tablecloth, "That day, she left my salon looking like a brand-new Princess! She even booked another appointment for next month!
"Wow, that's... actually really impressive," Rainbow admitted.
The waiter reappeared from the sidelines, his arrival was a welcome interruption to Zephyr's self-aggrandizement. In his hooves, he easily balanced two covered plates, setting them down before Rainbow and Zephyr with a flourish. A delightful aroma filled the air as he lifted the silver lids, momentarily stealing Rainbow's attention. Her pasta dish was a vibrant swirl of creamy sauce studded with plump mushrooms and fresh herbs, while Zephyr's gourmet salad boasted an array of exotic fruits and vegetables, all meticulously arranged.
"That was fast." Rainbow tried to pick up a fork nearby and begin to dig in but was reminded by the tightness of her movement.
"Here, let me help you, my cute Rainbow Bunny," Zephyr said as he lifted the rolled-up pasta fork to her mouth. "Say, ahh."
Rainbow clenched her teeth so hard it might shatter, but she swallowed her pride. Opening her mouth, she took a bite of the pasta.
Now that she had realised it, Rainbow couldn't help but notice that the table they sat at was situated nearer to the large window plane that stretched from the ceiling to the floor. Giving the two a full view of Cloudsdale's city night, a nice complementary view to her well-cooked pasta.
The rest of the night flowed rather similar to this, with Zephyr continuing to regale her with tales of his salon's success whilst feeding her. Each embellished anecdote was punctuated by a dramatised hoof and a self-satisfied puff of his chest. Employing a pony to play a romantic tune on the violin. Right. Next. To. Them. Each time Zehpyr fed her a fork, Rainbow swore she could hear a new snicker from a new table directed at them.
Those things aside, Rainbow did find herself strangely captivated by his stories.
Sure, Zephyr's self-importance remained thick, but there was an earnestness in his voice when he spoke about his work that was oddly endearing, despite her current scenario. He described the meticulous process of creating his mane treatments, the thrill of a satisfied customer (even if that customer happened to be a princess), and the constant drive to innovate.
At the end of it all, Zephyr and Rainbow exited the opulent dining room after making Rainbow pay for it all, their steps lighter than when they'd entered. Their bellies were happy, and the weight of the delicious meal was a pleasant counterpoint to the strangeness of the evening, even if the bill and Zephyr's attitude did sour Rainbow's. They neared the grand archway, the threshold between the formal interior and the vibrant, moonlit gardens beyond.
"So," Zephyr finally spoke, his voice softer than his usual braggadocious tone. "This wasn't quite the date I envisioned, but..." he trailed off, his perfectly styled forelock falling across his eyes for a fleeting moment. "I'd honestly thought you'd hightail it out the place."
Rainbow snorted a playful sound. "Let's just say," she countered, "I would've if it weren't for the food, though it wasn't quite the disaster I was expecting either, aside from all that mushy stuff."
Zephyr's face lit up as he abruptly stopped before Rainbow in the open gardens, causing her to halt mid-step, her surprise mirrored in her wide, cerise eyes. Before Rainbow could voice her confusion, Zephyr leaned in. His movements were surprisingly swift, his perfectly styled forelock brushing against her cheek as he closed the distance between them. Time seemed to slow as Rainbow's breath hitched in her throat.
Then, in a move that left her breathless, Zephyr kissed her. It was a surprisingly tender exploration. His lips were soft, and his tongue was fierce, and for a fleeting moment, Rainbow found herself caught off guard, unsure how to react.
Zephyr pulled back, a dreamy exhale escaping him. Regaining his composure quickly, he straightened his mane with a flustered huff, a blush creeping up his neck that even the dim lighting couldn't hide.
He chuckled, a genuine laugh that crinkled the corners of his eyes. "Maybe not a disaster," Spreading his wings, he flew off the grassy earth. "Thanks for the date, Sugarbear. I knew my charm would work its magic!" He parted before taking off into the night sky.
Rainbow stood there, her eyes not once returning to their normal, resting sizes. She patted a hoof on her lip as her wings touched either side of her cheek, checking for anything wrong with them as if still not believing what had just transpired before her. Never mind, her night was ruined.
With a slow blink, she hung her head as she made her way back home, defeated for the third time today.
~~The day after~~
The Ponyville sun hung high in the sky, casting its usual warm glow over the bustling town. It was just past noon, another ordinary day for the ponies going about their business. Applejack walked down the dirt path that linked to the busy stalls, pulling along her trolley full of apples in tow. However, a prickling sensation of unease started to crawl up her neck. Every pony she passed seemed fixated on her, blushes heavy on their cheeks, their eyes glued to a particular object clutched in their hooves: a magazine.
Odd, but she paid them no mind. Setting up her stall, a sharp ache pierced her back. Rubbing it gently, she tried to push away the memory of yesterday's events. All that posing she did for hours on end had done a number on her muscles. Finishing setting up, she took a seat behind the open cart and waited for her first customer of the day.
Hours ticked by, filled with the usual hustle and bustle of the market. Yet, no one had bought her apples. That changed when a little filly came running up to her stall, her eyes hungry for her crisp apples. Applejack's excitement matched the filly, but just when she was about to reach her stall, a mare, presumably her mother, pulled her back and away from Applejack. Giving her the most disgusting side eye she'd seen in a while before leaving the vicinity.
"Okay, that's it!" Applejack slammed her hoof onto the tabletop, the sudden noise causing a startled yelp from a nearby pony browsing vegetables. Her frustration bubbled over. "What's with everypony avoidin' me!?"
Across the way, Pinkie Pie skipped along, her usual infectious cheer radiating around her. Unlike the others, Pinkie seemed completely oblivious to the strange atmosphere surrounding Applejack.
"Pinkie!" Applejack called out, catching her attention. "Come over here for a sec!"
Sure thing, Applejack!" she chirped, hopping over with the grace of a bouncing ball. She skidded to a halt just shy of landing on the tempting display of apples.
"Pinkie," Applejack began, her voice laced with a growing unease, "do you know why everypony's been givin' me such strange looks today? And why ain't nobody buyin' my apples?"
Pinkie tilted her head, her brow furrowing in what could almost be considered a concentrated look. Her eyes darted around the marketplace, taking in the hushed whispers and averted gazes directed at Applejack. Then, a gasp escaped her lips, her eyes widening comically.
"Oh my! Don't you know, Applejack?" she squealed. "You're famous!" Pulling out the same magazine everyone had from her mane, she showed it to the barn mare and pointed to the cover. "See?"
Applejack's jaw hit the floor with a resounding thump. There, displayed prominently on the magazine cover, clutched in Pinkie Pie's hooves, was none other than herself in the same dress Rarity forced upon her the day before. She was posed in the seductive manner the director had asked of her, a hoof dragging up the dress just high enough to catch her cutie mark.
A single word splashed across the cover in bold, glittering letters that sent a wave of heat rushing up Applejack's neck: "Playmare!? R-Rarity said..." she yelled, stammering around the words catching in her throat. "That director." she finally managed, her voice shimmering.
Pinkie bounced on her hooves. "Oh, but Applejack, don't you see?" she chirped, her voice brimming with an unsettling enthusiasm. "This could be your big break! You're a model now! Imagine all the delicious treats you could buy with all that fancy money!"
Applejack grimaced. Fame and fortune held no appeal to her compared to the quiet satisfaction of a hard day's work on the farm and the familiar comfort of Ponyville. This "modeling" experience, forced upon her by Rarity's misguided revenge scheme, had been a nightmare.
"Modelin' ain't exactly my forte, Pinkie," she sighed, picking at a stray apple core on her stall. The usual hustle and bustle of the market suddenly felt oppressive and suffocating. "Besides, who in Equestria would even want to see me in a magazine like that?"
Pinkie's smile faltered momentarily, a flicker of understanding crossing her eyes. "Well," she began hesitantly, glancing around nervously, "everypony seems to be buying them up like crazy..."
Applejack's face reddened even further, a shade that rivalled the reddest apple on her stall. With a groan of mortification, she buried her face in the display of apples, hoping to shield herself from the judging eyes she imagined were all around her.
Muffled through the crisp fruit, Pinkie caught a mumbled, "I'm never going to recover from this..." Right as Pinkie went to comfort her poor friend, a voice beat her to it.
"Applejack, is that you?" A stallion asked, walking up to her.
Lifting her head out the bunch of apples, she chirped, her mood spinning to a complete one-eighty. "Yes! Interested in some apples?"
"Uh, no thanks today, ma'am," the stallion stammered, his eyes darting nervously between Applejack and the magazine he awkwardly held. "Actually, uh..." He cleared his throat, then blurted, "Can you sign this for me? I'm a huge fan!"
"Uh....?" Was all Applejack got out before another pony came in to join the nervous stallion.
"Oh my goodness! Is that the Applejack from Playmare?" The mare pointed at Applejack. "Can I get your signature!?"
"Huh? Um, Sorry I-"
Another pony pulled up from the corner, cutting off what she was going to say. "DID SOMEPONY MENTIONED APPLEJACK!?"
"Oh no," Applejack groaned, her face turning the same shade of red as her signature apples. She instinctively backed away, bumping against a nearby stall, sending a clatter of vegetables cascading down.
The crowd, however, had grown considerably. What started with a few curious ponies had morphed into a surging mass, their eyes fixated on Applejack and the magazine clutched in their hooves. Not wasting a moment, Applejack turned tail and galloped away, trying to get a headstart. As for the growing crowd of fans, they rallied together into a wave of stampeding ponies, giving chase to the rising erotic star. All the while, the distance cursing of "Rarity!" was mixed with the crowd's wants for a piece of signed merch of their Playmare magazine.
Pinkie giggled into her hoof before resuming her bounce away from Applejack's cart.
~~~~~~
Rainbow Dash watched the commotion unfold with a mix of amusement and something akin to pity, still unable to wash away the incident of yesterday's date with Zephyr. Speaking of, there he was, approaching Rainbow with Mayor Mare beside him.
"Cupcake!" Zephyr declared, his voice radiating an artificial cheer. "There you are! Just the mare I want to see~."
"Again with the nicknames, Zephyr?" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "What did you want now? Was making me pay for yesterday's date not enough for you?"
"Actually, that spectular date is precisely the reason why I'm here!" Zephyr paused, looking over to the Mayor. "After our lovely, romantic, and amazing date. I paid Rarity a visit, and told her all about our little fun time at the resturants. How we captured each other's hearts, our eyes never breaking contact, the music--"
"Okay okay!" Rainbow cuts him off, "Get to the point already! I don't have all day listening to you blabber on and on!"
Zephyr coughs into a hoof. "In her infinite wisdom, she explained the next step after a successful date."
Rainbow snorted. "Successful? Is that what she called it?"
Undeterred, Zephyr beamed and wrapped his arms around Rainbow in a suffocating hug. "Exactly! And according to Rarity, the next step is marriage and starting a family."
"WHAT!?"
"I know!" Zephyr snuggled into Rainbow's cheek. "I just as excited as you are!"
The world seemed to tilt on its axis as Rainbow froze. This had to be some kind of elaborate joke, a bizarre extension of Rarity's revenge prank. But the Mayor's flustered expression and Zephyr's oblivious enthusiasm told a different story.
The Mayor stammered something about a special marriage license and a ceremony "conveniently" scheduled for that afternoon. Stepping in between the two pegasus, Mayor Mare opened a book she had stashed away on her back. "Rainbow Dash," she squeaked, her voice barely audible over the pounding in Rainbow's ears, "do you take Zephyr Breeze to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Rainbow's mind whirred. Her mouth opened, a desperate "I don'—" forming on her lips. But was quickly interrupted by Zephyr's excited squealing.
"I'd knew you loved me, angel!" He cuts her off, pulling her in and connecting their lips together. The kiss was deep, awkwardly long, and awfully loud. The sound of wet smacks echoed through the marketplace, punctuated by the occasional strangled gasp from Rainbow as she tried, in vain, to breathe.
The onlookers, a mix of bewildered shoppers and curious vendors, stood frozen, unsure whether to cheer or gasp. The sound of wet moans between the two only served to make Mayor Mare, bless her flustered soul, even more red than she already is as she covered her mouth with the still-opened book.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few excruciating seconds, Zephyr pulled back with a loud "Mwuah!", his face flushed with exertion and misplaced pride.
"See, Mayor Mare?" he declared, completely oblivious to Rainbow's distress. "She totally loves me!"
Rainbow, momentarily freed from his suffocating embrace, sputtered, a strangled sound halfway between a cough and a scream.
"I—" Rainbow began, her voice hoarse from the lack of oxygen. But before she could even attempt to explain the massive misunderstanding, Mayor Mare stepped forward, desperate to try and salvage the situation.
"A-ah, ahem!" she cleared her throat, the sound echoing through the sudden silence. "By the power vested in me by Princess Celestia, I now pronounce you husband and wife!"
The crowd, still unsure of how to react, offered a smattering of nervous applause with quiet "Woo!"s and weak whistles. Rainbow stared at Zephyr, his dopey grin mirroring the sheer absurdity of the situation.
Married. To Zephyr Breeze. Legally married. The words echoed in her mind, a sickening thud accompanying each repetition. The world around her began to spin, probably because Rainbow's was actually spinning on the spot now. Her hooves desperately tried to keep her upright.
This couldn't be real. It had to be some cruel joke. But the smug look on Zephyr's face and the official document clutched in the Mayor's hooves told a different story. The daunting realisation of it all finally hit her.
She was now shackled to the biggest lovesick oaf in Equestria.
Unable to handle it anymore, she flicked her head back and fell onto her knees, yelling out an ear-piercing cry that shook Ponyville into a stupor.
"NOOO!!!"
Author's Note
A story request for JBlaser.
A fun little side story. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. All feedback is welcomed.
