Just A Cartoon

by sharingan9001

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 12267

2 bronies, a non-brony and a hater end up in Equestria.

During a Science class in England, 2 bronies, a non-brony and a hater get transported to Equestria. How will Callum, Jack, Rhys and Evan adapt to their new environment and their new bodies? How will the locals react to these new visitors? Why am I asking you all these questions?

(Set between Seasons 2 and 3)
Rated Teen for no-no words and pony hatred.

Cover Image by BeauZoe
Chapters 1-7 Edited by BeauZoe

Published 2012-10-07 20:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-17 20:45:43 UTC

1: Chemistry

It was a dismal school day in England. Students were writing away, reading textbooks, and throwing crunched-up paper or leaving puddles of drool on their desk. The sky was grey and threatened to cry over the land. Many of the miserable teenagers lazily wandered to their most hated place on the planet.

Callum however, was neither miserable nor wandering. Callum was striding to his first and favourite lesson: science. He found science extremely interesting and often practiced chemistry at home. Callum had a black Mohawk, and blue eyes. He was slightly underweight with long legs and bony fingers. Despite his slender state, he was only about 5 foot 3 inches. He had a pair of headphones draped around his neck with incomprehensible sound booming out of them.

He walked into the open classroom to find it was deserted apart from a few students and the teacher. Everyone, himself included, was wearing the standard school uniform; a white shirt, red tie, black blazer, black trousers and black shoes. He glanced at the clock above the door which read 8:29.

“One minute early.” He said to himself with a deep, booming voice.

“I always am.” A familiar, mocking voice spoke up behind him.

Callum recognized immediately who that voiced belonged to and swirled around to see his nephew Jack. Jack had short, black hair, green eyes and skin that were quite pale but not as pale as Callum's. He was the same height as Callum, but his legs were shorter. He was also wearing the standard uniform.

"How did you get here before me?" Callum questioned, "You have shorter legs than me!"

"But you're not as fast as me." Jack explained. "All you do is sit at your computer and write fanfics!"

"I thought you liked my fan fiction. Didn't you like the one were Pinkie ties Rainbow Dash to a-"

"Yea, I like your stories man, but don't complain to me that you don't do enough running to be as fast as me." Jack gloated. Callum couldn't really argue. Jack was the fastest in the class and Callum was hardly second best. He beat Callum in the 30 metre sprint by 2 full seconds!

A distant bell cut off their conversation as a flood of students came tumbling clumsily into the classroom. Callum took his seat at the front of the class and Jack sat to his left. As the other students trod passed them, Callum could hear some students mutter things behind his back:

"Emo"

"Gaylord"

"Pony Fucker"

Those were the insults he heard every weekday. He didn't even bother to argue anymore; when you're a metal head brony, people don't tend to listen to you. Jack was a brony as well, but he didn't tell anyone. Callum felt relieved to have another brony in his class, even if he was incognito.

"Do we have any homework due?" A voice to his right made Callum jump as he didn't realise that his best friend Rhys had just sat next to him.

Rhys had short blonde hair, and was about 3 inches shorter than Callum. His most identifying feature was his eyes; they were red. Full red. Nobody knew whether he was born with them or he just bought contact lenses. Rhys wasn't a brony, but he knew Callum and Jack were bronies and honestly couldn't care less.

"Not that I know of…" Callum responded.

The majority of the class settled down onto their stools and looked towards the front of the classroom. The minority decided it would be a great opportunity to discuss recent phone purchases they made. "Good morning", the teacher at the front began, "Today we're going-"

"SORRY I'M LATE SIR!"

Evan burst open the classroom door, startling everyone. Evan had short ginger hair and was an inch taller than Callum. He had brown eyes that, when stared at, looked intimidating. Evan was the strongest kid in the class and, in all honesty, was kind of a dick. He would act stubborn towards anyone, students and teachers alike. All of the kids in the class looked up to him since he won the push-up test by 13 in PE at the beginning of the year.

Well, almost all of the kids. Evan didn't like- no, he hated ponies. Callum tried to communicate with him but to no avail. Evan didn't know Jack was a brony mainly because Jack saw how Callum was treated because of it. Jack made friends with Evan quickly due to their athletic similarities, so he didn't want to ruin anything.

Evan immediately saw Jack and decided to take the seat to his left. On his journey, Evan decided it would be best to extend his arm to the two people sitting to Jack's right.

"Hey midget," he murmured as he slapped Rhys on the side of his head.

Rhys jumped off his stool and shouted, "What the fuck?!"

The teacher glanced towards Rhys. "Oi! Sit down!" He ordered. Rhys hesitated, but sat down on his stool. I'm going to fucking kill that bitch Rhys thought to himself.

"Hey faggot," he said louder than before as he hit Callum's head just like Rhys'. Why can't he realize that watching a show doesn't change your sexuality? Callum hummed to himself.

The teacher gestured back towards the board. "As I was saying, today we're going to be doing more work on chemistry."

The entire class groaned.

Callum, Jack and Rhys were gathered around a desk bearing a glass bottle filled with clear liquid labeled "Sulphuric Acid" and a small tub containing black powder labeled "Copper Oxide". The task was simple: Mix the two compounds to create copper sulphate and water. The people performing said task were failing at it miserably.

"So... we pour the acid through the filtered flask?" Jack asked with genuine confusion.

"No, I think we tip the copper in there first." Rhys replied with false certainty.

Callum just sat back and watched. He knew exactly what to do but neither Rhys or Jack wanted to admit they didn't have a clue.

"Can I drink this?" Jack picked up the sulphuric acid and sniffed the top. "Vinegar is an acid and we drink that."

"NO!" Callum jumped up and snatched the bottle before it could empty into Jack's mouth, "…for God's sake, no."

Jack grunted. "Fine, you do the experiment!"

"Sure... and if you're going to drink something…" Callum pulled out a can of Red Bull from his blazer, "…drink this."

Once Jack snatched the drink out of his hand, Callum proceeded to pour acid into a beaker, add copper oxide and stir with a small silver spatula. The resulting liquid turned blue. "Mate, you should be a scientist!" Rhys exclaimed. He was unaware that the task at hand was easy as hell.

"Are you only saying that because I practice at home?" Callum questioned with a small smile, "Because I practice chemistry almost half as much as I practice guitar." If there was one thing Callum liked more than ponies, it would be music. He was extremely passionate about his guitar and pretty much centred his life on it.

"And anyway, I'm surprised you don't want to be scientist. You like blowing shit up, right?" Rhys gave a look towards Callum that said 'No shit, Sherlock'.

"I can blow shit up when I'm on front line though. That way it's more dangerous!"

Rhys was obsessed with anything military related: Guns, killing, explosions, fire... mainly explosions. He liked explosions too much. Students had a habit of avoiding him.

"Jack!"

The shout from the teacher scared the hell out of Jack and caused him to spit the energy drink into the beaker.

"No fizzy drinks in class!" The teacher demanded, "Look at what you've done! You've ruined the experiment!"

The three students turned back towards their beaker with a shocked expression. The liquid was now white and emitting a small light. There were sparks fizzing out of it. No feeling. No scent. No sound. Just light.

“Awesome.” Evan had crept up behind them to stare at the anomaly. He took it upon himself to take the can and empty the remaining contents into the glowing beaker.

“EVAN!” The three boys shouted simultaneously.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Evan spoke his famous last words.

The beaker’s light grew to a blinding size that filled everyone’s vision. It consumed the four students gathered around it.

A few minutes later, the light dimmed down and burned out. The other students stared back curiously. One minute there was a Spiky-haired rocker, a Blonde cadet, A Black-haired Athlete and a Ginger Douche-bag.

The next there wasn't.

The two royal pony sisters were sitting in the throne room of Canterlot Castle; Celestia sitting in the centre and Luna sitting on her left, both with their right fore-hooves leaning on the arms of their thrones, supporting their heads.

“Oh sister,” Luna sighed, “Why shouldst the day be so lengthy?”

Celestia could only sigh. She flicked a hoof at her wavy, multicoloured mane. How in Tartarus does my mane do that? She thought. Her singular thought was cut off by a sudden wave shooting down the back of her neck, down through her spine and ending at her tail.

Luna looked up at her older sister with sudden concern. “Sister, are you alright?”

“I…I don’t know.” Celestia narrowed her eyes, “I just have a strange feeling that something terrible has just happened.”

2: Fire Starter

Callum’s eyes flickered open, still hurting from the treatment they were given minutes ago. He rubbed a forearm against his aching forehead and rolled over onto his side where his snout started tickling against the grass. He giggled slightly and rolled back over onto his back to find a beautiful night sky.

…Wait. He thought to himself.

…Grass?

…Night sky?

…SNOUT!?

Callum immediately sat upright and inspected his body: He had white hair growing out of… well, everywhere, fingerless stumps which he assumed were hooves and feet too identical to his hooves. Between his legs was a long, black, messy tail. Callum shoved his ha- hooves in his mouth to stop himself from screaming.

“N-no” Callum whispered, “I-it can’t be.”

He dashed to a nearby puddle to see his reflection in the moonlight. He still had his black mohawk. He still had blue eyes, though they were a lot bigger than before. His mouth and nose were now sticking out to form a snout and he had a horn sticking out of his head.

For a few moments, Callum just stared at his reflection in disbelief, occasionally poking himself to see if he could feel anything.

Then he squealed.

He started jumping on the spot, laughing like a mad-man. Then he dropped to the ground and started rolling on the grass, still laughing like hell. After about ten minutes of rolling around, he got to his senses and stood on four, wobbly hooves.

“I… I don’t believe this.” He said, grinning down at his new form.

Something struck him. He craned his head back to look at his flank. Imprinted on his fur was an image of black guitar surrounded by fire. The guitar was slightly tilted.

His jaw dropped at the sight. I’m a guitarist he thought to himself. His grin grew even wider at the thought and let out another squeal. His ears flapped as he heard something in the distance. Callum’s smile dropped for a second as he processed the sound in his mind. It was almost like a… groan?

He swerved around the trees he only realized existed a few moments ago and trotted towards the strange sound. He approached the source with caution and gasped at what he saw.

Lying on the floor was a bright yellow stallion with a short black mane and tail. He had a blue lightning bolt for a cutie mark and a pair of wings closed by his sides. He was snoring lightly.

As weird as it may sound, Callum would often sit in class and wonder what his friends would look like if they were ponies. And this is pretty much what he pictured Jack to look like.

“Wait…” Callum said to nobody in particular, “Me and Jack were both caught in that flash…” Callum put two and two together and started looking around the area franticly. A few seconds later he found another pegasus splayed out under a tree, snoring a lot louder than Jack.

It was a burgundy red pegasus with ginger hair and a dumbbell for a cutie mark. He had thicker, more muscular hooves than Callum. His wings, unlike Jack’s, were spread outwards like the rest of his limbs. Callum identified the pony as Evan.

“Okay,” Callum murmured to himself, “How do I break it to someone that they were transformed into magical, colourful equine?”

“AAAAAAAHHHHHH!” A screaming green stallion came galloping through the trees.

“AH!” Evan and Jack both awoke with a short scare and looked down to find themselves not human. They decided to join the green pony.

“AAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

“Well, that’s one way to do it.”

“AAAAAA-” the screaming was cut off by a short thud. All three stallions had run into each other and landed back first on the floor.

Callum walked over to the group. “I‘m guessing you were surprised by this.” He looked over the new pony. He was a green unicorn with a short, blonde mane and matching tail. He had a mushroom cloud for a cutie mark that confirmed it was Rhys.

“What the Christ just happened?” Rhys managed, still rubbing his sore head.

“Evan mixed copper sulphate with Red Bull and transported us to the land of magical talking ponies.” Callum said nonchalantly.

“What?” Evan sat up, blinking furiously. He rubbed his eyes and gazed towards Callum. He was, as a matter of fact, a pony. “…N-n-n-no. No no no!” He screamed.

“Evan, try to calm down a second…” Callum suggested.

“This… this isn’t happening.” Evan told himself, “This is not happening.”

Even though Callum knew Evan hated him, he needed to calm him down before he did anything stupid. Callum’s attention, however, was drawn to the yellow pegasus shaking him by the shoulders.

“Callum, look at us!” Jack said with glee, “We’re in Equestria! This is fucking awesome!”

“Acid is a hell of a drug; you all look like ponies to me.” Rhys lifted his hooves to his red eyes only to stop and stare at them. “Even I look like a pony to me.”

Callum trotted over to Rhys and put a hoof on his shoulder. “Mate, you’re not high. You’re not dreaming. We are actually ponies.”

Rhys seemed to stare off in the distance for a while but finally returned the message with a face of shock. “W-what? B-but how-”

“Remember the big, bright light in science?” Jack questioned. Rhys nodded his head. “That’s how.”

“…We’re stuck here.” Rhys sounded disheartened, “How can we get back? This is a completely different world. We can't survive here. There is no way back. We’re screwed. Done…”

Callum looked down at his friend and spoke up. “Mate, think about this. You’re in a place where magic exists!” Callum exclaimed, “Where most of the population can perform magic and fly! Where there are

dragons, man! Not to mention two people here know how this place works. Seriously, man, if you say this place is worse than earth after a week, something’s wrong.”

Rhys was still very interested in the ground for some reason.

Callum sighed. Well, there’s only one thing that can work now. “You can perform magic.”

Rhys immediately perked up. “Say again?”

“Mate, you’re a unicorn. You can do magic ’n’ shit!” Callum exclaimed.

Rhys moved his hoof up to his head and poked the tip of his horn. A grin suddenly grew on his face. “Sweet.”

“OW!”

The two unicorns turned towards the source of the cry. Jack was lying on the floor, holding his stomach in both hooves while Evan was sitting on the grass with a hoof extended.

“Don’t try to comfort me.” Evan spat, “we’re stuck in a hell hole with no possible way to get back.”

“Evan” Jack said, “Just try t-”

“SHUT UP!” Evan tried to stand up on his back two hooves, but fell flat on his face. He spat out the dirt in his mouth and stood up angrily, this time on four hooves. “There is nothing you can say that will change my mind about all of this! Jack, you’re in a place filled with sparkly rainbow gayness!”

“Hey!” Jack replied, “Have you even watched that show?”

Evan stared back, mouth ajar. “Y-you… you watch that shit!?”

“Yeah! I do! Wanna fight about it?” Jack challenged.

“People!” All eyes turned towards Callum. “We’re not gonna survive this arguing about a TV show!”

Rhys turned towards Evan and Jack “We need a fire. Evan, use your big-ass hooves to collect wood from trees.”

Evan hesitated a bit, but replied after a minute. “…Fine.”

Evan walked up to a tree and started hitting it with his fore-hooves.

“Try bucking ‘em.” Callum added.

“How would that help?!”

“Bucking. Using both your back hooves”

“…oh… Right.” Evan turned 180 degrees and lifted his hind-legs. He then smacked them against the tree as hard as he could. Instead of cracking the bark of the tree, the tree began to topple and fall backwards, leaving only the trunk attached to the ground.

“Holy crap!” Rhys said, rather impressed by the strength of the pegasus.

Evan smirked at his work, then broke small parts of wood off of the tree and piled them in a small area uninhabited by trees.

“We need someone to light it.” Callum said matter-of-factly.

“I can do it!” Rhys indicated to his horn.

“I don’t know man…” Callum doubted, “This is magic we’re talking about.”

“Trust me; I know what I’m doing.” Rhys lied.

Rhys walked over to the pile of wood and lowered his horn to it. He closed his eyes and his horn started to glow orange. A bright orange orb started to form at the tip of his horn.

Then it blew up.

The explosion sent the four stallions flying different directions, all of which lead into a tree. Rhys hit a tree back first, and then slid to ground. Jack got a face full of dirt after hitting a tree with his stomach… Evan was laying on his stomach, nuzzling a tree with his entire face. Callum was launched across the ground on his back, getting his horn lodged in a tree.

A few seconds later, the small pile of wood ignited into flames.

3: To Love A Pegasus

3: To Love A Pegasus

Applejack was tucked under the covers of her soft bed, lightly snoring away as she dreamt of all of the great times she had shared with her friends. She rolled around in her sleep, getting just snug enough to lay still and fall deeper into her sleep.

That is until an explosion woke her up.

She sat up straight, rubbed her eyes, and jumped out of bed. She trotted grumpily towards her window to investigate the loud noise.

“What in the hay was that?” She asked herself. She grabbed her stetson from the bedside desk and ran for the front door.

Callum, Jack, Rhys, and Evan were sitting around the fire, dirt and tree sap covering their fur. Evan had a twig stuck behind his right ear and Callum had a piece of bark impaled on his horn.

“…then it ends with Scootaloo saying ‘you have beautiful eyes’. I thought it was pretty good.” Callum ended his story. In return, he got two disgusting looks and one amused look.

“That was horrible.” Jack commented.

“That was weird.” Rhys followed.

“That was awesome!” Evan shouted.

Jack and Rhys exchanged looks with Evan, who just sneered back. “Don’t tell me it was crap. The only thing crap about it was that it wasn’t graphic enough.”

“That was the last story I had.” Callum noted, “Do we have anything else to do beside a campfire?”

“How about we try to see if fire is edible? I’m starving!” Jack moaned, throwing his hooves to his face.

“Good point.” Rhys said, “We should tr-”

“Shh!” Callum put a hoof to his lips. His left ear twitched.

Rhys was about to question him but stopped himself when he heard the rustling of leaves. They all looked towards the source of the noise and saw a figure slowly coming into view.

“What in tarnation is goin’ on here?” Applejack questioned the trespassers.

“Applejack?” Jack blurted out thoughtlessly.

The earth pony was taken back a bit. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, “How’d you know my name?”

“Yeah,” Evan interrupted, “How did you know her name?”

Jack just stared blankly at Applejack, trying to think of an excuse to how he knew her name. He had to thank Callum later for stepping in when he did.

“Well…” Callum interrupted, “You’re the element of honesty, right? You’ve saved the world, what was it…” Callum put a hoof to his chin, looking for an answer he already knew, “…twice?”

Applejack tipped her hat forward, pulling it slightly over her face. “Well, I suppose that was pretty important.” She shook her head and went back on topic. “Anyhow, what are y’all doin’ in my orchard?”

“Uh, orchard?” Rhys questioned.

“Yeah, my apple orchard.”

Rhys looked up to the trees to see that they were spotted with ripe, juicy apples. Rhys face hoofed at his stupidity. How the hell did I not see those?

“W-we don’t know.” Jack answered. “We just sort of… woke up here.”

“Ah, too much cider.” Applejack nodded in conclusion. The four stallions looked at each other and just shrugged. “Well, who are y’all?”

“My name is Fire Strings.” Callum was quick to say his name. He thought of it while writing a fan fiction once. “This is…”

“Light Speed!” Jack finished for him.

“Uh, yeah…” Callum smiled at his nephew’s quick thinking. He pointed a white hoof towards Rhys “This is, uh… Ignite.”

Rhys nodded in approval of his new name. “And over there is uh… Strength… Brute Strength.”

Applejack looked over to Evan and her jaw dropped. He stood up and stretched his limbs, giving Applejack a good chance to see the muscles in his body flex.

“Well hello there.” Applejack greeted Evan with half lidded eyes.

“Uh, hi?”

Applejack strolled over to Evan’s side and rubbed her left foreleg against his right one. “Mind showin’ me what them muscles o’ yours can do.” She spoke in a sultry tone.

Evan just stood there with his right eye twitching. He eventually reacted when Applejack’s hoof started stroking his back. “Look, women, I didn’t come here to get touched up by… well, anything! I didn’t even wanna be here!” Evan threw his hooves into the air.

“Well, you’re here now. May as well make the most of it.” Applejack smiled at him.

“NO! Get the hell away from me!” Evan galloped in the direction the others had started to walk off in.

“Damn.” Applejack spoke to herself while watching Evan’s rear fade into the trees “I wouldn’t have minded buckin’ apples with him.”

Evan had caught up with the others and stared at each of them. Rhys was lying on the floor holding his sides, Callum was failing to hold back his laugh and Jack was just grinning sheepishly.

“You.” Evan focused his gaze on Jack. “You fucking pony faggot!”

“Whoa.” Jack put his right fore-hoof up in defense. “Calm down, man.”

“I can’t calm down! I’m stuck in a place filled with magical sparkly horses with 3 gaylords!”

“…Well that was mean.” Callum spoke up.

“Shut up and go listen to your emo music.” Evan pointed to the floor a few metres away.

“…My…music?” Callum looked around to see that his headphones and iPod were sitting on the ground atop a pile of leaves. “My music!” Callum did a standing long-jump just to land right in front of the magical device he’d come to know and love. He fell to the ground, picked up his iPod and rubbed it against his cheek. “Did you miss daddy? Daddy missed you too! Yes he did! Yes he did!”

The others just stared at him for a few minutes, wondering what kind of medical treatment he needed. Rhys was laughing at the unicorn on the ground while Jack just rolled his eyes; He knew how passionate Callum was about his music.

Jack craned his head to look towards his green unicorn friend and…

“Wait. Where’s Evan?”

Rhys came to his senses and looked to his right where Evan was supposed to be standing. “Oh crap.”

“C’mon Callum!” Jack shouted to the stallion still caressing his iPod. “We need to go find Evan. Who knows what he could do in this world!”

Callum finally processed the words spoken by the yellow pony and threw his headphones over his neck. “Let’s just hope Applejack didn’t catch him.”

4: New Ponyvillians

4: New Ponyvillians

Callum, Jack and Rhys were galloping hard towards Ponyville. Applejack saw Evan fly towards Ponyville and pointed them in the direction he had gone.

“I hate this.” Jack said suddenly, “Why does he get to fly and we don‘t?”

“Uh, Jack?” Rhys alerted him. “You do realize that you have wings too?”

Jack skidded to a halt and looked to his sides where a pair of wings flapped out.

“Holy shit! When did…” Jack turned towards the unicorns with a blank expression. “I’ve been a pegasus this whole time, haven’t I?”

The unicorns nodded. “Damn it! Well, how do I use these things?”

“How the hell should we know?” Rhys indicated his wingless body.

“Right, right.” Jack squatted down and flapped his wings. His form began to lift off of the ground. He began to tilt downwards head-first and soon he was flying vertically, not able to see where he was going. “I…I don’t think I’m doing this right.”

“Ya think?” Rhys questioned just before Jack slammed his back into a nearby tree.

Evan was hovering about 50 feet above Ponyville with caution. ‘With caution’ meaning the only parts of his body moving were his wings.

“O-okay.” He told himself, “I’m not gonna f-fall.”

He tilted forward slightly and started to fall. Evan screamed and flapped his six limbs around franticly. Taking one final look down to see the ground rapidly rushing towards him, he gulped and waited for impact…

It never came.

In fact, it felt like he just stopped mid-air. But how? He pried one eye open to see a faint purple glow around his body. He was hovering mere feet above the ground without having to flap his wings.

“…W-wha?” He managed.

He cocked his head to his left to see a purple unicorn mare with a long, dark purple mane and tail. She had a star for a cutie mark and a purple aura around her horn.

“Are you alright?” She spoke with concern written all over her face.

“Uh… Y-yeah, I’ll be fine.” Evan sputtered. He was dropped onto the cobblestone path, the glow around his body disappearing. Turning around, he could see all the

ponies around him point hooves and murmuring things to the ponies standing beside them. If it wasn’t for his burgundy coat, the blush on his face would have shown. I was just saved from falling by a unicorn. And I’m a fucking PEGASUS!

“Shut up!” He ordered. The ponies around him silenced and some even backed away slightly. The purple unicorn took a few steps back and stared at Evan with fear. Then Evan began to trot towards a different section of the town with his head lowered.

Evan was now sitting on a bench about ten feet away from a fountain in the middle of a park. He was leaning his back against the bench and his back legs were hanging over the edge. He thought about what had happened today. Let’s see, he thought, teleported to an alternate universe filled with colourful horses, got touched up by a horse, got humiliated by a horse and now I’m a homeless horse! This is going fucking great so far!

He threw his head back and looked up to the night sky. It was a purple sky with very few stars, so he guessed it had only just reached night time. He occasionally saw a group of ponies walking along, cheering and laughing, as if ready for a party. None really caught his eye but he caught one pony’s eye.

“Hey! I’ve never seen you around here before! And if I’ve never seen you before that means you’re new here! If you weren’t new than I would have already met you because I know everypony around here and you’re somepony I don’t know so I’m here to welcome you!” The pink blur that actually turned out to be a pony was standing on her back legs with her front legs held in the air. She had a dark shade of pink for her messy hair and had three balloons for a cutie mark.

Evan recovered from his shock and replied. “I feel welcome enough, thanks.” He grunted and looked away from her.

“You know, you kinda sit like Lyra.” She spoke in her high pitched voice.

“What?” Evan questioned. He was quickly getting annoyed.

“Lyra is one of my friends! You should meet her and all of my other friends too! OH, we could have a party!”

Evan face showed anger, “Well, I’m not in the mood to party right now, okay?”

“But going to a party will get you in the mood to party. We gotta turn that frown upside-down!” The pink pony rotated her head 180 degrees and beamed.

Evan, looking puzzled and annoyed, simply stated: “No.”

“C’mon!” The mare insisted, “You gotta come otherwise we won’t be able to move the plot along!”

“The… Huh?”

The pink pony grabbed Evan’s right fore-hoof and pulled him towards a new location.

Callum, Jack and Rhys stared at the village in front of them. It was quite welcoming to them, having all of the colours that modern English houses lacked. Rhys looked over to Callum and Jack and saw two grinning faces that could scare small children.

“Now look you two,” Callum and Jack look towards their green friend, “We’re not here to run around, looking for our favourite character. We’re here to find Evan.”

“How are we gonna find him in the middle of the night?” Jack pointed out, “He could be anywhere.”

“We might have to split up.” Rhys indicated a sign pointing back the way they came reading ‘Sweet Apple Acres’. “We’ll meet back at this sign in the morning, around 10 AM. In the meantime, try to find someone… er, somepony’s house to stay in and keep an eye out for Evan.”

“Surely we could just stay in the same house rather than find three individual houses.” Callum said.

“Well, one, we have a better chance of finding Evan if we split up,” Rhys listed, “and two, ponies might feel less comfortable having three uninvited guests stay in their house instead of one.”

“Good points.” Callum agreed.

“So, I guess we split up now. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” Rhys turned to leave but shot a glare back towards his friends, “Don’t screw around.”

“Okay!” Callum and Jack said almost simultaneously.

As soon as Rhys was out of sight, the two relatives gave each other a knowing look and raced down the streets, attempting to find their waifu.

5: Meet The Ponies

Evan analyzed the room he was sitting in. It looked similar to a restaurant, but only sold baked goods. Party decorations lined the walls and ceiling and ponies were either dancing or talking amongst themselves. There were about 10 ponies in the room, a few of which Evan recognized from advertisements, and he was sitting in the very corner of the room, not wanting to come into contact with anybody.

Unfortunately, with the pink one around, he got what he didn’t want.

“Hey!” The earth pony appeared to jump out from nowhere directly in front of the burgundy pegasus, startling him with the silver smile she wore on her face, “I didn’t get your name earlier. Nor did you get mine! Mine’s Pinkie Pie, what’s yours?”

“Uh… Brute Force.” Evan thought back to the extremely cheesy name Callum gave him and decided to stick with it.

“Nice to meet you Brute! What’s your special talent, mine’s partying!”

…Are you fucking serious? Evan was baffled by the fact that she couldn’t guess his talent by his mark or name. He figured that the balloons on Pinkie’s flank represented her talent, so he got slightly annoyed that she couldn’t put two and two together.

“Look at my mark, smartass.” Pinkie gasped at the use of his words. “As if it isn’t blatantly obvious what it is by looking at it. Stupid bitch.” He muttered the last two words while walking away.

Pinkie just stared at the wall, jaw rigged by the words she had just heard. Finally, she just looked over her shoulder, mumbling “What a rude stallion” and skipped over to a couple of ponies, a smile returning to her face.

Evan walked over to the snack table, picked up a hoof-full of crisps and shoved them into his mouth. At least their food isn’t complete crap. He picked up another hoof-full, but this time he just stared at the salty snacks resting on the base of his hoof. How the fuck did I just pick these up?

His thinking was cut-off when a light blue pegasus with eye-catching, multicoloured hair walked over to the table and picked up a can of soda. She lifted the can to her muzzle, but turned her head sideways to face Evan. “Oh, hey there. I haven’t seen you around here before. You just move in?” She moved the soda to her mouth and started to drink.

Why do these things always wanna talk? Evan wondered. “No. I just sort of…ended up here.”

“Traveller, huh?” The mare bumped her free hoof against Evan’s left fore-leg, “Name’s Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all Equestria!”

Rainbow Dash? Equestria? Jesus, this place gets worse by the second. “I’m Brute Force.” He shivered inwardly at the thought of that being his actual name, “And I guess I’m pretty strong.”

“Stronger than me?” Rainbow raised an eyebrow, suddenly noticing the muscle in the six limbs Evan possessed. “Care to test ‘em out?” Rainbow punched playfully at Evan’s shoulder.

Evan just looked blankly at her. “No thanks, I’m not in the mood.” Evan turned around to walk away from the annoying cyan pegasus, but she flew into his path.

“So you’re in a ‘chillaxed’ sort of mood?” Rainbow persisted in talking with the stallion.

Evan was ready to burst out with anger. “Look lady, I’ve had a shit day and I just want to go to sleep, OK?”

“Well, you could stay at my house, if you like…” Rainbow trailed off.

Evan was about to deny her offer and rant on about how annoying she was until he realized he didn’t have a house. Or food. Or money. After a minute or so, Evan sighed heavily. “…Fine. Where is it?”

“On the outskirts of Ponyville. You know, suspended in the sky… away from everypony…” Evan made out a very faint blush on Rainbow’s face.

Evan normally wasn’t very observant, but he observed something in this creatures’ behavior. She was acting nervous around him and was inviting him to her house that apparently was out of town. “…What do you want to do to me?” Evan asked, expecting a simple answer.

“Oh, you know, just to get you a place to stay, maybe get to know you better...” She stepped a bit closer to him, “…Personally.”

Evan had had enough of this back at the orchard, and now this women wanted to perform with him? He didn’t like this. And he wanted her to know that.

“You know what? I’m gonna say something right now.” Evan’s strong voice caught Rainbow off guard, “I don’t want any of this shit. You’re just a shitty excuse of a creature and shouldn’t even exist!” Rainbow was about to interject, but Evan continued, “And if you think I’m a xenophile, you got another thing coming, bitch!” Evan’s poorly structured rant ended with him jumping out of a window, making use of his wings. A few seconds later, a crash could be heard, followed by an agonizing scream.

Rainbow just looked at the shattered window and furrowed her eyes angrily. “He deserved that.”

Jack was trotting up to the building that he’d always dreamed of trotting up to: Fluttershy’s cottage. Just the thought of actually meeting her was enough to make him skip over the small bridge leading to her front door. He pounded excitedly on the wooden door and waited impatiently.

“…Hello?” A small voice called from a small gap in the doorway.

Jack realized he was wearing a stupid grin and shook his head to make room for the amazing speech he was about to deliver. “Uh.” Great job so far. “Can I stay with you? I’m broke and homeless.” Smooth.

“Homeless?” Fluttershy exclaimed. “Oh dear! You must be starving! Come inside, I’ll get you some soup.” She fully opened the door, allowing Jack to enter. She walked into the kitchen to hear a squeal come from the room behind her. “Excited over soup?” She concluded, “He must be hungry!”

Callum was hitting his white hoof against the purple door leading into Carousel Boutique, hoping to see a white coat identical to his. When the door was opened, his hopes were answered.

“Hi there!” The filly Callum instantly recognized as Sweetie Belle was beamed up at him with huge, shining pupils. He couldn’t help his heart melting at the sight, but he was hoping to see her older sister. “I’m guessing you wanna see my sister.” How the fuck did she… Oh right, the sign says ‘open’, Callum thought.

“Uh, yea, there’s something I need to ask her. Can I come in?”

“Sure.” Sweetie trotted over to the bottom of the staircase and cleared her throat, “RARITY! GET YOUR FAT ASS DOWN HERE!”

Callum felt a mixture of emotions towards the sentence he had just heard. One was fear, another was confusion and one was actually pride.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WA- oh, hello!” Rarity was standing at the bottom of the staircase, grinning sheepishly at the visitor. She shooed her younger sister away and turned her attention to the unicorn waiting by the door. “Now, what can I help you with, sir?

“Well,” Callum gave Rarity his best puppy-dog eyes, something which was easier with the new eyes he owned, “I was on my way to the charity store when a group of masked muggers jumped me and took my money, house keys and everything! And now, I don’t have anything! C-Could I stay with you until I get back on my fee-hooves?” Callum pouted.

“Oh you poor dear! Of course you can stay here! I hope you don’t mind sleeping on the couch.” Callum shook his head in reply, “Good. Now, I have to close up, and then I will make

us some tea. Sound good?” Callum nodded his head. Rarity gave him a small smile and walked over to the front door to lock it. She then walked into the kitchen to boil some water. All the while, Callum was staring into the kitchen, admiring her well-toned flank.

Jack had a blanket draped over his body and a bowl of soup in his hooves. He was sitting opposite of Fluttershy, who was holding a cup of tea.

“How did you end up in such a poor position?” Fluttershy raised her cup to drink, but lowered it along with her head, “I-if you don’t mind answering…”

Jack was stumped. He hadn’t thought of a reason for his homelessness. But she did ask nicely… “Well… my house sort of… caught fire.”

“Oh, that’s awful. Don’t you have any family members to go to? …n-not that I don’t want you here…”

“My family… er… moved away. Far away.” Jack put emphasis on the ‘Far’.

Fluttershy sipped her tea and smiled. “Well, you can stay here until you get back on your hooves.”

Jack’s heart skipped at the thought and he couldn’t contain a grin. He put his soup down and ran to hug the timid mare. Fluttershy seemed shocked at first but complied with his offer, “You’re a really friendly pony.”

“Finally! I’m finished!” Rhys looked at his fine work, wiping sweat away from his green head. He had found a discarded piece of purple fabric and tied it to four wooden sticks. The result, apparently, was a tent. He had also ‘borrowed’ a lantern hanging from a shop’s sign. “Right, I’m not gonna fuck up this time.” He told himself. He lowered his head to the lantern and his horn sparked to life. A few flames began to flicker in front of him and an orange orb formed at the tip of his horn like before. He looked up and felt his horn begin to shake. “Oh sh-”

This time, the fire came at the same time as the explosion. The incendiary explosion sent him skidding backwards across the grass, a trail of fire beaming out of his horn. He looked towards his little campsite on the edge of a nearby forest. The lantern was, in fact, lit… along with his tent and several trees connecting to the large forest.

“Fuck.”

6: Of Friendships And Fires

Evan was woken by an awful hospital-like smell. He managed to flicker his left eye open to see a bland blue-ish wall and his right eye to see… nothing.

His one free eye looked down at his body. It was resting on a green-coated mattress, covered in bandages and stitches. He came to the conclusion his right eye was also patched up by the white material.

“Are you feeling ok?” A sad but perky voice came from his right and shocked him. He turned his head to see a familiar pink mare out of his good eye. Her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were full of concern.

“Like I was just standing in an aeroplane’s engine.” Evan spoke with ‘dull’ written all over him.

“I’m so sorry; you just so happened to jump into the trash can filled with broken scissors and empty glass bottles. I didn’t know somepony was going to jump out of that window.”

Evan lay there for a few moments in silence. “…I give up.”

“Huh?”

“I give up. I don’t care about what’s thrown at me anymore. I don’t care if I’m surrounded by fluffy, sparkly, over-the-top girly ponies. I don’t even care if I am a fluffy, sparkly, over-the-top girly pony. It’s just another way of Fate saying: ‘Hey, fuck you.’ I just… I just give.” The defeated pegasus deflated on the bed and let his mind go blank. His thoughts were cut off by the feel of hooves on his fore-legs. “What the hell do you want no-” He was lifted and pulled into an embrace by the pink mare. He was worried for a second, that she was going to catch one of his wounds, but she handled him carefully.

“If there’s one thing Granny Pie taught me, it’s that giving up gets you nowhere. You’ve completely lost if you give up. But if you try, even if it’s only once, there’s always a chance of winning.” Her usually bouncy state of mind had returned to her body.

Evan looked Pinkie straight in the eyes. Ever since he had gotten here, he had been through crap after crap. And now, this pink thing was telling him it was going to be okay. It seemed like a long shot. It seemed impossible. And yet, it still managed to bring a smile to Evan’s face. “Thanks. I like to hear that when I’m training or, you know, when I’ve just woken up from a coma.” He chuckled.

“Actually,” Pinkie stated, “You’ve been here about 5 minutes.”

“…Sooo,” Evan drew, “It’s still night time?”

“Yeppers.” Pinkie snorted.

“Okay.” Evan comically fell backwards onto the bed and shut his eyes. This day has gone on for fucking ages.

Two empty cups sat on the table of Rarity’s kitchen. The two unicorns sitting around it were idly conversing about their lives (half of which Callum had to make up on the spot). It had gotten to the point where Callum was showing Rarity his iPod.

“…Then you just hit play, and voila!” Callum finished by allowing his music to flow through into Rarity’s ears. Rarity cringed and levitated the headphones off of her head. She picked up her comb and brushed it through her mane, twisting it back into its usual, beautiful form.

“That is such a wonderful device!” Rarity exclaimed, “Even if your taste in music is so… chaotic… and loud.” She ended with a sheepish grin. Callum shot her a disagreeing look, but refrained from saying anything. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it was worth…” She paused and pondered for a few moments. Now it was her turn to shoot a look at Callum. “What kind of thieves steal keys and bits without stealing a magical music device?”

“Uh…” Callum felt a stupid answer brewing up. “Stupid ones?”

Rarity’s stare seemed to bore into Callum’s head and play with his mind. “…Well, I suppose all thieves are intellectually impaired.” Rarity stuck her nose in the air.

Callum faked a smile, “Heh, yea…” Damn it, Callum, you can’t keep lucking out like this. Sooner or later-

“So, do you have any relatives nearby?” Rarity asked.

“Uh, no. All of my relatives are from…” Callum searched the locations in Equestria mentally until he found one to suit him. Well, his accent anyway. “…Canterlot.”

Rarity’s eyes widened at the mention of the word. “You’re from Canterlot?”

“Uh, yea, I guess.”

Rarity’s smile seemed to widen, and then retract. “Oh, it’s such a shame that your house was taken away from you. I would absolutely hate it, were it to happen to me.” Rarity trotted over to Callum and placed a fore-leg on his shoulder. “You must feel horrible.”

Callum was a bit distracted by the hoof wrapped around the back of his neck, but was able to hear the sentence spoken. “Y-yea, I feel like… like I have nothing.” Callum faked a sniffle.

“Oh, you poor, poor thing!” Rarity wrapped Callum into an embrace which Callum gladly returned with a mischievous smile on his face.

“Feeling any better?” Fluttershy spoke light-heartedly.

Jack was lying in Fluttershy’s bed with an empty bowl resting on his chest. “Lots.”

“Glad to hear it.” Fluttershy lifted the bowl off of Jack and fluttered down the stairs, stopping in the kitchen.

This gave Jack a minute to think about the day so far. So, I’ve met two of the mane 6 and I’m staying in Fluttershy’s bed. I’d say this was the best day of my life, Jack thought nonchalantly.

Fluttershy appeared at the top of the stairs with a pillow on her back. “I’ve brought an extra pillow just in case you-” She cut off with an audible gasp. She ran to the window located at the side of the bed. “The Everfree forest is on fire!”

“What!?” Jack jumped out of bed and ran to her side, peering out towards the bright forest. Jack could only stare at the sight of trees catching fire one by one. I can only guess who could have caused that.

“Shit shit shit shit!” Rhys repeated the words while using ineffective methods of dispelling the flames; There wasn’t a lot of water laying around, fanning the flames did nothing and magic definitely didn’t help. In the end, Rhys resorted to mindlessly hopping around and hoping for the fire to just disappear (which, in this world, he wouldn’t be surprised to see.)

“Ignite, you son of a barrel!” The unicorn turned to spot two yellow pegasi running towards him, one of which he identified easily. They both skidded to stop just at the side of ‘Ignite’ and looked out towards the flame.

“Oh dear, this is out of hoof!” Fluttershy turned away from the fire and spread her wings. “I’ll go get help, you two stay here!” Fluttershy whimpered as soon as the words left her mouth, realising that she had sounded aggressive towards them, “I-I mean, please, wait here…please?” The pegasus blushed and flew towards Ponyville.

The two of them just sat on the grass, looking out towards the fire which at this point was spreading at an alarming rate. “Well,” Jack interrupted the music of crackling fire, “I think it’s fair to say that we’re pretty fucked.”

7: Rock And A Hard Place

It was a bright and sunny morning in Ponyville. The birds were chirping, the wind was subtle and the fillies of the village were enjoying their Saturday free of schoolwork.

Also, the air held a very strong burnt tree smell.

The Element bearers and a few other ponies were clearing up the parts of the forest that had suffered severely. Each pony had creases under their drooped eyes; they had worked a good few hours putting the fire out and had just awoken again to help clear the area of blackened trees.

“How‘d this fire even start?” Applejack asked, rubbing her eyes.

“It was probably that weird pony over there.” Rainbow directed her hoof towards a pegasus in a red fire-proof suit, gas mask and sombrero standing in the distance. “He creeps me out.” The others nodded in agreement.

The only ponies there not helping were having their own discussion further along the edge of the forest. They were lying in a line facing the forest: Evan, still covered in bandages, sat on the far left; Rhys sat to his right, then Callum and finally Jack. Callum had slept in Rarity's boutique, Jack and Rhys in Fluttershy's cottage and Evan stayed in the hospital overnight. Despite this, all four stallions were sleep deprived from working against the fire. Callum was napping for the seventh time after being woken by the loud, snoring Evan six times earlier.

“You managed to set an entire forest on fire?” Jack asked.

“No… only the edge.” Rhys turned his eyes towards the sky, holding back a smirk.

“Knowing him, he probably did it on purpose.” Callum interrupted, having just woken up again and motioning a hoof towards Rhys.

“Oh, it was tempting.”

Their attention was snapped to the pegasus tomboy verbally signaling them. “Hey, could we get some more- you!” Rainbow dashed towards the white-covered burgundy pegasus who snored as she stopped in front of him. The feeling of breath against his now sensitive nose caused it to twitch and forced him to open his grumpy, heavy eyes. “I ought a squash you into moron soup!” Cried Rainbow Dash.

“Rainbow!” Pinkie galloped towards her friend and shot her a stern look. “What are you doing to Brute?”

“You know this guy?” Rainbow’s gaze switched between Pinkie and Brute several times before finally landing on Brute. “What did you call her, huh?”

Pinkie stepped between the two pegasi and looked up at a hovering Rainbow. “Leave him alone, Rainbow. He’s a friend of mine.”

“Well he isn’t one of mine. He said I thought he was a… zeenofile or something like that.”

“Xenophile.” Evan slurred, still slightly drained.

“What the buck is that, anyway?” Rainbow was on the verge of knocking his teeth out.

“Rainbow! One of the trees is covered in horrible black ash.” Rarity’s voice sounded whiny, “Would you kindly stop chatting and get it cleared up?”

Rainbow shot daggers at Evan and motioned her hoof towards her eyes, then pointed at him. She turned her attention back to the fashionista in ‘dire’ need of help, and flew off.

Pinkie stood before the four stallions in front of her and posed an extremely important question. “What flavour milkshake do you guys like?”

Callum, Jack, Rhys and Evan were sitting around a table in Sugarcube Corner, sipping milkshakes of different colour. Pinkie was conversing with the four stallions, discussing matters of great importance. That’s the way Pinkie saw it, anyway. Jack, Evan, and Rhys were enduring a famous ‘Pinkie rant’. Callum had actually resorted to pushing his headphones over his ears and quietly playing music.

Pinkie quickly turned her attention to the object she’d never seen before resting on the table. “Oh, what’s that?” She looked over the bright device and poked at it.

“That’s called an iPod, Pinkie. It’s plays music through these.” Callum lifted the headphones off of his head and put them on Pinkie’s, “I think you’ll like this song.” He demonstrated how it worked by tapping his hoof against the ‘play’ button.

Just then, a wave of drumming rang through the headphones.

Pinkie jumped onto her back hooves and started banging her head and fore-legs. “Something tells me she likes metal.” Rhys commented.

After several minutes, Callum walked over to Pinkie Pie who was air-guitaring like a mad-mare. “Pinkie?” Callum bumped a hoof against her leg, getting no response.

“Pinkie…” Callum spoke in a parental tone, as if she had done something wrong, but failed to get her attention.

Callum began to get annoyed. He focused incredibly hard on the headphones, engulfing them in a blood red aura and lifting them off of her head. “As I was trying to say…” Callum paused the song and rested the headphones on the table, “…Do you have any speakers or anything I can plug this into?”

“I’m not sure, lemme check.” She hopped off the table and bounced off, disappearing behind the counter.

Callum was met by an annoyed Evan. “Idiot, how is she supposed to find an amplifier for a thing she’s never heard of?”

“Here it is!” Pinkie emerged from behind the counter holding a speaker half her size. “It has a socket here that allows vibrations to be amplified from your device through the speaker, increasing the volume of the music file selected.”

The four stared for a couple of seconds before Rhys tried to speak up. Jack put a hoof to Rhys’ muzzle and slowly shook his head. Rhys disregarded his curiosity and pushed it to the back of his mind.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Pinkie demanded, “Plug in it!”

The five mares had just finished cleaning up the mess around the Everfree and were now having drinks and relaxing their achy muscles in Twilight’s Library. Usually, they’d be chatting with each other and Rarity was not about to break that habit. “So, does anypony know who those four stallions were?”

Twilight set down her teacup, replying “I remember catching that red one with my magic before he crashed, but he didn't really talk to me. Rainbow, weren’t you conversing with them?” She looked towards Rainbow, who had forgone tea and decided to grab a mug of coffee.

“Yeah, with that dumb red pegasus. I don’t know the other three.” Rainbow flared her wings. “If that Brute guy ever hurts any of you-”

“I know who they were!” Applejack perked up suddenly. “They’re them stallions I found in the east field. Poor guys… they learned about alcohol abuse the hard way.” She pushed up the Stetson that was falling over her eyes. “…Wait a minute, did you say something bad about ma’ Brute?” She glared at Rainbow.

“He said something about me first! What else was I supposed to do?” Rainbow argued.

“What did he say?” Twilight interrupted.

“He said I was an excuse of a creature and shouldn’t exist!” There were several audible gasps, “And then he went on to say something about a zenophile or something, then jumped out a window!”

“He addressed you in such a way?! That monster!” Rarity was clearly disgusted by the thought, wrinkling her nose primly as she took another sip of her tea.

“He jumped out a window?” Fluttershy questioned. She’d been listening quietly to the exchange, her tea left untouched on the table.

“Uh, Rainbow?” Twilight interjected, “What word did he use again? Xenophile was it?”

“Yeah, he said he wasn’t… one of those things and then jumped through a window.” Rainbow pulled off a puzzled look. “What does that even mean?”

“I’ve heard it before somewhere…” Twilight’s horn illuminated with a purple glow and locked onto a book titled ‘Equestipedia: Volume III’. She levitated it down from a shelf filled with similar books and began flicking through it. “Xenolith… Xenon… ah, here it is. Xenophile: An individual who is attracted to foreign ponies, manners, or cultures.” Twilight looked up from her book and pondered silently.

“So, he’s like, from another part of Equestria?” Rainbow suggested.

“He had a Canterlot accent… is Canterlot foreign?” Applejack cut in.

“No, Canterlot is quite close, geographically. For him to use a word like 'Xenophile', he must have been from outside of Equestria, or, at least, on the edge of it.”

“The stallion with the extreme hairstyle said he was from Canterlot and had the accent.” Rarity intervened, “Poor thing. He was broke and homeless so I generously invited him in.”

“That's odd. The other pegasus said that he was homeless as well. And the two stallions that stayed with me after the fire had a Canterlot accent too.” Fluttershy added, “It's like they're all friends.”

Twilight’s curiosity had been piqued. These stallions presented a mystery which she didn’t have the answer for. Unconsciously scratching her chin in thought, Twilight mused. Hmmm… Their Canterlot accents tell me that they are from close by, and one of them stated as much, but then why would the red one… ‘Brute’ was it? Why would he state that Rainbow was a xenophile?

In full on think mode now, Twilight continued. So, maybe they are from farther away and don't want people to know, but why wouldn't they? Two of them said that they were homeless... with nowhere to stay. If they are from Canterlot, why would they come here for a place to stay? Heh... this is ridiculous...surely they would just be trying to hide something constantly rather than actually interact with us. “I'm still thinking that these guys are actually from Canterlot.” Here Twilight paused to sip at her tea thoughtfully.

“I did find all of 'em in the acres acting funny.” Applejack brought up again, “Say Twilight, you ever heard of a stallion so drunk he ended up in another city?”

“I don‘t think so. What if they're just-”

“ Aliens?” Rainbow said.

There was an awkward moment of silence before Rainbow spoke up again. “Yea, none of us have seen them around here before. What if they are aliens? It's like 'Daring Doo and the Alien Staff' where all of these aliens invade, disguised aliens, and try to destroy the world! Uh...I wish I could have finished it before I was called out to... put out the fire that mysteriously appeared.”

“May I add that my guest had some sort of musical device smaller than a brick?” Rarity once again interrupted.

“That's not unusual.” Twilight stated apprehensively, “Compact music players are quite common in rich parts of Equestria.”

“But this device had over two hundred songs in it.” Everypony's eyes went wide.

The gears turning in Twilight's head were almost visible. “Well...”

“Ah heard an explosion in mah field the night ah found 'em! Tell me that ain't suspicious!” Applejack almost shouted.

“Come on, girls, this is ridiculous.” Twilight argued, “There is no possible way these guys are from another planet; they look exactly like us.”

“W-what if they’re shape shifters?” Rainbow suggested, “You know, they can change shape and stuff. We all agree we’ve never seen them before, maybe that’s why.”

Everypony looked at each other, waiting for somepony to speak up, their drinks left forgotten on the table.

Twilight sighed. “I… I think Rainbow might be right.”

He did have that mysterious music device...“…Well, if Twilight and Rainbow think that these stallions are invaders from another world, then so do I.” Rarity finished by putting a hoof to her chest.

They probably crash landed in ma' field! “Ah vote for alien.”

Light Speed did seem quite nervous...“I think so too.”

“So, what are we waiting for?” Rainbow held out her left hoof and hit her right hoof against it, “Let’s go get ‘em!”

The windows of Sugarcube Corner threatened to crack as the entire store shook with the sounds of instruments, singing, and strange electrical sounds Pinkie had never heard before.

At this point, the five ponies at said store were, in short, going mental.

Pinkie stood on her hind-legs, waving her fore-hooves as if they were on fire, Evan and Rhys were jumping on the spot, thrashing their heads back and forth and Callum and Jack were miming Evan and Rhys, except on tables.

Their party was abruptly interrupted by four mares bursting through the front door, cutting off the music via magic. Fluttershy trailed behind quietly. The hyper ponies turned and began to protest, only to have Rainbow Dash cut them off: “Grab ‘em!”

In an instant, the four stallions were plucked from the ground and levitated in front of the party crashers. “We’re looking for some answers.” Twilight shot a smug grin at each of the visitors, “And I think that Princess Celestia will be very interested in them as well.”

They all gulped.

9: Clever Chapter Title

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

8: The Plot Thickens Slightly

Many mares and stallions were travelling on the Canterlot Express, most of which were idly chatting amongst themselves or attempting to consume the disgusting, cheap meals that the train service provided.

Some were not. ‘Some’ being six mares who looked particularly angry and four stallions who looked scared out their minds, one of which had to have his wings and fore-hooves tied behind him.

Twilight was looking at the four specimen of ‘aliens’ sitting across from her. She wasn’t scared of them but she found them strange. They weren’t all that different from Equestrians, though they had their minute differences, mainly in behaviour. They didn’t come across as hostile, but potentially dangerous, though that might be due to their lack of intelligence.

Twilight’s curiosity finally got the better of her. “So…what’s your planet like?”

Callum opened his mouth but Evan’s voice came out, “It’s a shit-hole!”

They all shot Evan an annoyed glance before turning back to Callum for an explanation. “Well, the people there are-”

“-all twats.” Evan finished before having a pink hoof slap sellotape across his mouth.

“As I was saying” Callum restarted, “The people there look a lot different to ponies but we speak the same language, our buildings are pretty similar and we have a lot of the technology that this world has, like trains, but on a more advanced level.”

“Interesting…” Twilight hummed, “How different do you look?”

“We’re biped.” Callum replied, “We have four limbs, two that we walk on and two that we use to… uh, pick up stuff. We aren’t covered in fur like you, but we do have hair on our heads, like manes. None of us have horns or wings either, so instead of using magic or flight to move through the air we use machines.”

Twilight frowned. “If you don’t have magic than how could your technology possibly be more advanced?”

“Electricity.” Jack joined in, “We use Electricity to power things. Almost everything in our world is powered by it.”

“Your kind seem intelligent, so I hope they have a good taste in fashion.” Rarity swiftly changed the subject

“Well, there are lots of different fashions in our world. Actually, if we were all humans and were in my world now, you would be breaking a pretty important taboo.” Callum said.

The ponies looked themselves over and turned towards Twilight for an expectant reply. “…I’m guessing clothes are important in your world?”

“Majorly.”

“Next stop: Canterlot Station.” The announcer… announced.

The stallions were ordered to stand by a still very annoyed pegasus while one of them was lifted from the ground and carried on Applejack’s back due to being restrained. The group stepped off of the train and walked towards Canterlot Castle in silence… well, it would have been silence if Pinkie Pie hadn’t come with them.

“Is there cake in your world? Or cookies? Or marshmallows? Is there even sugar? Or do you just eat healthy green stuff like cabbage and leaves and grass?”

“Yes, Pinkie, we have sugar. W-”

“What about cider? Do you even have apples? Or Oranges? Or Cherries?”

“Pinkie, our world ha-”

“What about Pancakes? Oh, and fruit salad! You gotta have fruit salad! How can you not possibly not go through life without trying fruit salad? It’s so nice, I mean…”

The stallions decided that it was best to tune out of Pinkie’s barrage of questions and focus on their surroundings. The buildings were taller and cleaner than Ponyville’s buildings, the streets were a lot smoother than Ponyville’s dirt and cobblestone roads and the locals all seemed to be wearing something.

Evan noticed that most of the ponies walked with their head tipped back and minding their own business, which annoyed him, seeing how he was bound, gagged and being kidnapped by the Element of Honesty.

Canterlot Castle was one of the most threatening buildings Rhys had ever seen. It was easily 40 times bigger than any of the buildings surrounding it, it was definitely more jewel-encrusted and many guards were patrolling the outer parts of the castle. Even Jack and Callum, who had seen it on before many times, felt intimidated seeing it up close.

The guards watching over the main entrance identified the six mares and retracted their polearms, forcing the doors open with a blue and green glow. The group trotted up the steps and opened the throne room doors. The stallions prepared themselves for the worst.

There, sat on her throne, was the white alicorn ruler of Equestria. Her eyes glimmered with a mix of interest and concern. She wondered if the so-called aliens were adverse in any way and, from the looks of it, three out of four of them weren’t. The Elements bowed in respect, shortly followed by Jack and Callum who bowed in fear of disrespecting their new leader. The only pony who didn’t bow was Rhys who was too busy examining the stained glass pieces in the windows.

His eyes fell on a piece presenting six ponies using some kind of head lasers to trap a black alicorn in a circle. Upon closer inspection, he recognised the six ponies as the mares who had brought him here. So… these things killed something over double their size using head cannons? Shit, I wanna do something like-

“Rhys!”

“What!?” He spun around to face the voice that called him, but instead faced a concentrating Celestia. Her glowing horn seized Rhys’ body for a few moments, then released him.

“My apologies.” Celestia spoke with a calmed voice, “I was simply scanning your body for any trace of harmful substances.”

“Okay? Why are we here, exactly?” Rhys asked, oblivious of the fact that the pony he was demanding answers off of once sent her own sister to the moon for a millennium.

“My subjects here have told me that you are from a different world.” Celestia spoke with slight uncertainty. “If this is true, than there is a way for me to send you home-”

“YES!” Evan bellowed. “Please, send me home! I can’t handle these annoying, disgusting creatures anymore! Just get me the fuck out of here!”

“Creatures? But we were partying earlier!” Pinkie narrowed her eyes furiously, “Were you fake partying?”

“Calm down, Pinkie.” Twilight spoke in a calmed tone, “The Princess was just about to explain how she intends on sending these stallions home.”

“Already!?” Callum shouted a little louder than he intended to, “…Uh, your Majesty.”

“Can’t we stay a bit longer?” Jack pleaded, “We won’t cause any trouble.”

Rainbow shot daggers at Rhys, “Yea, you won’t cause any fires either.” Rhys returned the gaze with one of his own.

Celestia suddenly felt something soft touch her hooves. She looked at the ground to see a wide-eyed, pleading white unicorn. “Please Celestia, You can’t send us back yet! You could keep us under twenty-four hour supervision for all I care, I just don’t wanna go back!”

“I do!” Evan rolled off of Applejack’s back, landing on the marble flooring with a thud. “Send me home!”

Rhys and Jack looked at Evan‘s desperate state, then at each other with knowing eyes. Even without speaking, they both knew they had the same idea. “Uh, Princess Celestia?”

“Yes?”

“I think it would be best if Evan stayed with us.” Jack grew a mischievous smile, “He could learn a thing or two.”

“And it would be quite dangerous to send him home all on his own.” Rhys added.

Celestia considered what to do with the stallions. They could potentially cause a million bits worth of damage to Canterlot alone, but then again, it’s only four stallions. How bad could it be?

“Alright, I’ll let you stay in Equestria, under the condition that you must be supervised at all times.” Celestia nodded to the elements, who nodded back in response.

Jack and Callum bumped hooves just before Evan dropped to his knees and shouted “NOOOOOOOOOOooooooo…!” He inhaled and repeated, but by the time he had done this, the room was empty. Even the Princess had gone to resume her duties elsewhere. His ears and face dropped. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all.

Meanwhile, Callum’s "sly" attempt to exit the castle failed due a suspicious purple unicorn. “Where do you think you’re going?” Twilight examined the stallion’s face. It was strange; he appeared to be wearing a sad smile.

“I just wanted to go to the Canterlot Gardens.” Callum almost shouted, but he returned to a normal volume, “There’s someone I wanna see.”

Twilight tilted her head slightly. “Who?”

“Somebody I’ve always wanted to meet…”

Jack fell to the marble floor for what seemed to be the hundredth time that afternoon. Rainbow dash floated down to him and gave him a disappointed, angry face. “C’mon, this is the easy part!” Rainbow Dash knew that she was going to have to keep an eye on this pegasus, so she considered teaching him how to fly so that she wasn’t always so close to the ground. And any excuse to have another flying buddy was a good excuse.

“How the hell do you keep balanced in mid-air? It doesn’t make sense!” Jack was getting angry, but not as angry as Rainbow.

“I’ve seen foals learn to fly faster than you! You’re pathetic!” Rainbow was beginning to re-think this new flying buddy thing. She knew Scootaloo had trouble becoming airborne but this was a full grown stallion for ponies sake!

Jack had had enough of this. She had been yelling like this ever since he first fell. “You know what? Screw this!” Jack yelled as he bolted down the corridor. Rainbow took this as a challenge; She wasn’t going to let him out of her sight.

“Get back here!” Rainbow leaped, spreading her wings and flapping with all her power. Jack took one look behind him to see the speed-demon rapidly closing the distance between them. He had to think of something. Fast.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t very good at thinking fast, so instead opted to just roll sideways into a wall. Rainbow instinctively dove to the right, unaware that small stand Jack had rolled behind held a very distinctive, fragile vase. By the time Rainbow knew what had happened , she had already used her face to destroy the decorative piece of pottery.

Jack looked up from his awful hiding spot to find a barely conscious Rainbow Dash. Jack wanted to make sure she was still alive by prodding her side, but only got a subtle groan. He heard clinking hoof steps accompanied by concerned deep voices and decided it was the best time to test how fast he can run away from guards.

Rhys was walking down the glimmering streets of Canterlot alongside Fluttershy and Rarity, taking note of the fine architecture, the beautiful weather created by the weather pegasi and the stunning array of finely dressed unicorns strolling down the clean, shimmering roads of the city.

“Well, I’m bored.” Rhys said deadpan. “Is their any sort of restaurant around here? I’m so hungry I could eat a-” Rhys held back on finishing that sentence.

“Well, we could go to the Gladiator. It’s only around the block.” Fluttershy suggested.

“Yes, we can accompany you with our world further over a salad.” Rarity turned from Rhys to Fluttershy “Although I don’t think I’ll be eating food from the Gladiator. I hear their food contains large quantities of fat. I will, however, be having a few glasses of red sparkling wine.” Rarity smiled at the thought of having the carnation red liquid fill her taste buds.

“Wait.” Rhys stopped dead in his tracks and stared. “You have alcohol in this world?”

“Why, of course we do! I’m assuming that your world has it too?” Rarity didn’t get a spoken response. Instead she got a small grin.

Rhys was starting to like this world.