To Chase The Shadows of Redemption

"I grant you all approval on the proposal from the other day. You may continue with the testing. You all know how important this is to me, so I do not need remind any of you to be careful. I will return later when you're nearing the end of today to hear your early results."

"If... if we find results that are indicative of the worst case scenario that aligns with that book you provided us all with, what are we to do?" Ruby exchanged a look around at the similarly nervous colleagues. "As much as we all want to help, princess, we're not sure if we'll be able to come up with anything remotely viable in time and—"

"We will deal with that when the time comes if it is indeed as we fear. I will continue to employ you all here, but I am not expecting some miracle work either. I understand how difficult this all is."

She looked at the state of her sister who had only moved a little in the bed since arriving. The bubble which had originally surrounded her when she arrived had all but disappeared by this point. You could barely see the final traces of the final bits that were soon to fade away as well. Her expression sharpened.

"No matter what, I'm going to keep searching. I owe her that much. See you all later."

Celestia sat alone at the dinner table, besides the stationed guards and singular maid. She was supposed to have been eating, but it was a mere going through the motions at this point if that.

It had bothered her ever since she first heard the description. That amethyst. All of her senses screamed at her that she had seen it at some point, but the memory came up blank over and over. It drove her crazy. Her thoughts grew darker as she thought of alternatives, but she quickly dismissed it.

What would she do if her sister really had hit the point of no return? She would be running out of time and fast. There was no room for error, they only had so long before her soul gave out and collapsed. She couldn't bare the thought of it and it quickly soured dinner, again. She had tried to restart the meal several times now, but this kept happening. It was a mental cycle that had repeated itself far too much.

Why did it always come down to time? Fate seemed to play a cruel game with her. First she had to wait a thousand years, and now it threatened to take her away in the blink of an eye.

What bothered her the most was that she had not even been given any real time to reconnect with her sister before she had gone unconscious. Was that so much to ask for? She had even missed her final few times waking up. What kind of sister was she? Was she the ruler of Equestria, or the sister of Luna? It gnawed it her.

She had to hold onto hope that it simply wasn't as bad as she was imagining it. Her stomach hurt at the thought of returning to that room and hearing the conclusion they came to.

Celestia was not a pony who ever panicked. A millennium of life had taught her that. It had also taught her that the one pony who could restore that feeling in her currently rested on the precipice of destruction. Could she even imagine a future without Luna? One of the only reasons she had held on for so long had been her dream of Luna's eventual return. If she lost her, what was left for Celestia?

She forced herself to take a few more bites of the asparagus, gave up, and then dismissed herself.

She would be arranging to meet with a historian that specialized in historical treasure soon, perhaps they would know something about the sanctuaries. That was something for now.

Twilight sat lazily down in her bed staring out the window.

Her excitement from yesterday had been all but erased. She regretted feeling that way at all.

After seeing the face of her mentor when they had uncovered just how unlikely it would be for Luna to recover, she had reacted poorly and without proper regard for Celestia's feelings. She knew that Celestia had done well to mask her own internal struggle at reading what kind of fate could be in store for her sister. Twilight's misplaced reaction made her cringe inwardly. It was only on the train ride home she had started to realize just how rude and insensitive she had really been.

Celestia hadn't even really reacted to it either. She had probably been too focused on other thoughts for her sister in the first place to even notice. That didn't make it okay.

She had once a determination to save Luna for Celestia's sake. Where had that burning fire gone? She had released that tension when Celestia had determined she would taking over, but why?

This was the reminder she shouldn't have even needed. She was going to use it regardless.

Celestia was not alone in this. She wouldn't allow it.

Celestia's heart pounded in her chest as she approached Luna's room. She almost wanted to run away rather than hear anything.

She hesitated in front of the door for this reason. Taking a moment to gather herself and putting on a proper mask to deal with her ponies, she gathered the courage to unlock the enchantment and enter.

"I'm telling you, based on the readings I'm receiving through magic, I'm almost certain she has enough energy for around half a year at mo—"

They were all sitting in the corner they had been provided for lounging. When Glint saw her, he reacted as appropriately as you'd expect, snapping to attention. They all did in some delayed chain reaction.

Celestia had completely locked up.

"Is... is it true?"

None of them looked like they had it in them to say anything, which was all Celestia really needed to see for final confirmation.

Instead she turned away from them so they couldn't see the expression she was showing, and made for the bed to be at Luna's side.

It was Manfred who had the courage to join here, just behind her. The older stallion likely had experience breaking bad news.

"I believe you heard what my colleague said as you entered, so I will not beat around the bush."

She looked back at him with a slightly wretched look. Even the old stallion lost some composure seeing the princess like this, but he continued anyway, "We all believe that she has months to upwards of a year to live your majesty. As much as we want to do something, we fear that this is simply beyond all of our grasps."

She turned her gaze back to Luna.

"I knew that deep down all along. If any of you want to quit, feel free to at this point. I will not force you to attempt the impossible any longer. I don't know why I said what I did earlier. You're also all free to leave for today."

She heard hoof steps as a pony approached her from behind.

"I'm going to resign your highness. I apologize. I have felt woefully out of place this entire time. If this situation had turned out different I am sure that I could've probably done something, but instead I have merely been one of which these other three can bounce ideas off of as well as organizing everything we've found so far. I specialize more in the technology side of things, so this has been a frustrating experience to say the least. I hope you will understand, and I'm always available at your beck and call if there's any developments I can help with."

Suture Gadget's voice had sincerity to it. She appreciated it.

"No, thank you for all of your work. You're free to go as I said. Please, have a good rest of your day."

One by one they all gave their farewells and blessings and left. She suspected the rest would be doing the same soon as well. Perhaps they just didn't have it in them for today. She heard one of them stop before leaving, but before she could ask what the deal was the pony left as well.

It was after the door shut for the final time that the floodgates opened.

She stroked Luna's cheek and then her body gently while openly weeping.

"If only I had been there for you all that time ago," she murmured to no one, "how could something so silly have led us down a path such as this. Everything seems so insignificant now."

Her body started trembling.

"You were right to hate me coming back from the moon. I can only imagine what you went through alone. No pony should ever have to go out like this."

She bit her lip until it started bleeding.

She stayed in a state like this for another twenty minutes, her emotions thundering back into her leaving her a mess, then cooling off and allowing her to be calm for a bit, this cycle repeating several times.

"I don't even know why I spend so much time outside of this room. I should be spending as much time as I have with you."

She paused. She then let out a deep breath.

"No."

Suddenly her expression hardened as she remembered something. Her teeth bared in a primal display, grinding. It would've terrified any pony if they had seen it.

"No. I will not give up hope now. I will not give up on you Luna. There are still things I can do. Believe in me."

The rooms silence answered her. She stood up.

"I must go now sister, stay well while I am gone."

She went over to the sink to freshen up, and then looked in front of the mirror they had in the room. Her appearance certainly reflected her haggard feelings, but there was a coldness reflected back in those eyes. She forced herself to shape up as much as possible.

She left with her mask back on, if only slightly more cracked then before.