Dragonshy

Derpy stifled a groan as she trotted inside town hall with Berry Punch next to her as the two expertly navigated the halls.

“I hate coming here,” Derpy muttered and stretched out her wings. Berry gave a dry laugh and held open a door.

“Me too. I have to be friendly and shit. Half of these mares in here I hate,” Berry agreed and trotted in after Derpy. “At least Blueberry Pie is here. Oh goody, Vinyl and Octavia. Hey, wasn’t this a group meeting for single moms?”

“It is. They’re just here to hang out I suppose,” White Lightning flung a hoof on the edge of her chair. “It’s been entertaining. They’ve been growling at each other.”

Sprinkle Medley sat next to her and snickered as Octavia glared at Vinyl. Berry suddenly was even less interested than before about being here, if that was possible. Angry Octavia was scary. Berry would rather face an evil Celestia over an angry Octavia if she was being completely honest.

“They’ve been like this all day. Mayor Mare isn’t here yet,” Blueberry noted and stretched out on the floor, playing with her purple mane with a bored expression. “I’d rather be at home with my foal than be here right now, no offense to you all.”

Derpy and Berry both agreed with that secretly. It was a bit harder for Berry to find a baby sitter for Ruby. Derpy had it a bit easier because Sparkler offered to watch Dinky.

Golden Harvest trotted in and both Berry’s and Derpy’s expressions brightened as the orange mare plopped down on the ground.

“Hey Carrot Top,” Derpy waved and Carrot Top trotted over.

“You’re lucky I only let you two call me that. Next thing you know, more ponies are gonna start calling me Carrot Top instead of Golden Harvest,” Carrot Top rolled her eyes and rolled a hoof. “What I’ve always dreamed of.”

“You love us,” Berry grinned and nudged her with a hoof. “Don’t lie.”

“Yeah, fine I do. Why is Redheart here?” Carrot Top jerked her head over to the nurse sitting with a magazine in front of her, her blue eyes scanning the page.

“The mayor is stuck in an meeting. She asked me to host this week’s single mom’s meeting for her,” Redheart answered and turned the page of her book. “And considering a frequent flyer was coming in right as her aid delivered the message, I decided I wanted to.”

“Isn’t being a nurse your job?” White Lightning asked and Redheart shot her a scowl.

“You try being there working twelve hour shifts with no extra pay cleaning out bed pans and having ponies like how the nurse outfit fits my flanks and see what you say,” Redheart grumbled as everypony fell silent, even Octavia. “That’s what I thought.”

“I wonder what Sprinkle Medley would look like in a sexy nurse outfit,” White Lightning whispered and Sprinkle promptly smacked the back of her head with a wing as Sprinkle Medley brushed brightly.

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that,” Redheart rolled her eyes. “I’d like to remind you all I’ve helped in all your labors. Well, minus Octavia and Vinyl because they have no kids so I’ve seen all of your bits. Don’t make me regret coming here.”

They all paled and more than half the room blushed as Derpy hesitantly raised a hoof.

“Yes Derpy?” Redheart asked with a wide smile. Derpy was one of her more favorite ponies in Ponyville. Dinky was one her favorites as well.

“You’re not gonna actually uh talk about my mare parts in public, right?” Derpy’s eyes flicked around the room nervously as Redheart laughed.

“Of course not. That was a joke. Nurses have humor though after working in a hospital for so long, we have a dark sense of humor. How do stars die?” Redheart asked and she got a few confused glances.

“How?” Berry asked finally.

“Usually an overdose.”

Derpy gave a strangled gasp as some ponies eyes widened and Redheart giggled to herself.

“Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding she’d say: “you’re next”. So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.”

“Oh sweet Celestia,” Carrot Top muttered and slammed her face into a pillow. Berry resisted the urge to make a bad joke about Carrot and pillows.

“Oh! Grandma: Most people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Most people your age are dead by now, why aren’t you?” Redheart laughed again and Sprinkle bit her lip. “Celestia, I love dark humor. We’re a bit desensitized due to the bullshit we see. I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?”

“That was bad,” Blueberry muttered with a raised eyebrow. “But oddly funny.”

“Anyway! I brought snacks,” Redheart gestured to the table. “For afterwards.”

Celestia dropped down on a stony surface with the Wonderbolts behind her as she started trotting up to a large red dragon snoring in a cave ontop a large pile of gold.

“You might want to cover your ears,” Celestia warned and the other ponies nodded before quickly complying.”Hello!”

Even with their ears covered, the Royal Canterlot Voice still made Spitfire and the others jump in surprise. The dragon shifted slightly and lifted it’s head, glaring at the alicorn.

“What do you want?” The dragon scoffed and Celestia raised her head higher. “No yelling in my cave. It has a bad echo.”

“I’m sorry but your snoring is causing smoke to cover Equestria. I’m not about to sacrifice all Equestria has built. There’s the entire Dragon Lands for you.”

“Hmph.”

Soarin and Misty shared a look as the dragon laid his head back, blowing some black smoke all over Celestia.

“Well then,” Celestia’s horn flashed briefly and all the soot that covered her was gone. “I suppose we can always teleport you back?”

“You do realize I can kill you all, right?” The dragon sneered and Blaze gave him a cocky grin.

“I’d like to see you try,” Blaze stepped forward and the dragon narrowed his eyes at the mare.

“I wouldn’t,” Celestia tried and her eyes widened as the dragon breathed fire all over Blaze, her eyes widening in her horror. The orange mare shot out of the fire and Celestia’s jaw dropped slightly as Blaze started flying in a circle rapidly around the fire, the blaze rapidly getting smaller.

Blaze landed on the ground with a smug grin, bouncing the small ball of fire from hoof to hoof as the dragon gawked.

“My special talent,” Blaze said simply and pointed to her flaming heart cutie mark. “I can easily tame all fires by flying around them in a fast enough circle and I can make fires just as easily. Spitfire had me come along just for this reason.”

“We should probably fall back now,” Wave Chill nudged Soarin and Spitfire. “Let the princess and Blaze sort this out.”

“No. We stay,” Spitfire slammed a hoof into the stone. “We leave nopony behind.”

“Actually, we should. Let Sunset and the elements sort this out,” Celestia commented and glanced down at Ponyville nearby. “I’ll send a letter.”

“Princess?” Spitfire stepped and glanced at Ponyville too. “All due respect, Sunset and the elements are not soldiers. They don’t have any experience in fighting a dragon. Not even we have much experience. We should get more royal guards to come help us run the dragon out.”

“Do you trust me, Spitfire?” Celestia asked and faced the mare.

“With my life,” Spitfire said instantly and pushed her fiery mane aside.

“They can do this. I’ve know Sunset her entire life. From a wide eyed filly eager to find her place to a beautiful grown mare. She and her friends can do this. I trust Sunset with this.”

“Then we do too,” Spitfire answered and the others nodded as Celestia’s horn glowed gold for a moment and they all teleported away.

“Huh,” Sunset muttered as she read the letter that had dropped onto her desk. “Well, this is oddly new. Celestia doesn’t send me letters often. It’s usually the other way around.”

Sunset glanced out her window at the black smoke in the distance and sighed. Her horn glowed teal and she disappeared with a pop.

“Out of everything she could have asked me to deal with, it’s a dragon. At least Spike was nicer than most dragons I’ve met,” Sunset grumbled as she trotted to Shoeshine’s house. “Now I have to round up everypony.”

Sunset had a feeling she was going to regret waking up today.