Strange and Stranger

by False Door

Rating: teen
Tags: Shining Armor, Sex, Crystal Ponies, Profanity, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Anon, Princess Cadance, Flurry Heart, Comedy
Length: 18758

Flurry Heart is searching for the oddly shaped missing piece to her heart. Turns out it might be human shaped.

This story was commissioned by Caladis

Despite her lineage and ongoing best efforts, Flurry Heart has always struggled to make a romantic connection. When left to her own devices, she tends to over share and overwhelm prospective stallions with her desperation and foal-like quirkiness. Unable to find a true special somepony or take the Crystal Empire throne without getting married, her life as a princess is beginning to look bleak. But her hope is rekindled when she meets Equestria's only resident human who seems to share many of her bizarre proclivities.

Published 2024-02-27 05:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-27 16:30:44 UTC

Wait for it...

Anon cinched his tie nervously in the mirror and exhaled. His suit for today was solid white, a color he’d never worn much and for him was quite risky to keep clean. Rarity told him he needed to make a sharp contrast between his everyday suit and tie and the suit and tie he wore for his own wedding.

His brain was cowering in a closet right now. It felt like he was watching a movie of someone else getting ready in the little bathroom of the park’s event center. Many might have argued that the public space was unbefitting of a once in a generation royal wedding but it was unarguably beautiful and exactly what they both wanted.

He envisioned his bride, Flurry getting prepared in front of a portable vanity with Hollywood lighting in a much larger room with half a dozen attendants fussing over her in total chaos. His utter aloneness gave him too much opportunity for self reflection. His lips tightened. Dad should have been with him at this moment, telling him how he felt on his wedding day.

Anon was overjoyed. He was also a nervous wreck and he couldn’t help but feel a sad sort of emptiness that his family wasn’t here to witness his marriage to a wonderful talking pony who understood him more than anyone else he’d ever met.

Anon checked the telewriter on the counter. It had essentially become one long group text. Each participant used a different color ink to make it less confusing. Anon got to be black by default. He picked up the pen.

Getting married today. I wish you could all be here. Wish me luck and hope I don't faint.

He drew a little smiley face at the end. There came a knock at the door and Big Mac poked his head in.

“Ya ready? Rarity says it's almost time.”

Since none of Anon's friends and family from earth could participate or even attend the biggest event in his life thus far, he'd chosen friends from Ponyville to fill the gaps in the wedding entourage such as Big Mac, Spike and Pinkie Pie.

“Yeah,” sighed Anon, closing the journal.”

Everything was a blur once he stepped out that door. He was on autopilot and nothing penetrated his brain until he saw her come up the grassy aisle to meet him beneath the trees. Her parents flanked her all the way to the podium before breaking to their seats in the front row. He remembered his heart stopping at the sight of her glowing smile and then suddenly they were there at the final words.

Princess Celestia looked between Anon and her blushing niece with a contented sort of finality. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and mare. You may kiss the groom.”

The two closed their eyes and leaned toward each other. They had a lot more experience under their belts now but it made them no less nervous. Their lips met and Flurry wrapped a foreleg around the small of his back to hold him there while the shutters clicked, the crowd cheered and the string ensemble awakened filling the scene with sweet music.

The two shared a glance of loving triumph before turning back to the celebrating well-wishers with trembling stomachs. They seemed to float down the aisle as the crowd rose from their seats in elation.

Twilight and Pinkie exited side by side, naturally paired behind them. The rest of the participants fell in behind like dominos. Flurry hugged her parents as they exited along with the formal procession.

“You’re so beautiful,” gasped Cadance, hooves on her withers. “And the day is so beautiful and nothing weird happened.”

“You mean besides the whole alien marriage thing that just happened?” chuckled Anon.

“There's still time to fit some weirdness in,” argued Shining dryly. “It won't quite feel like your wedding if there wasn't.”

“I'll be okay this once, I think,” replied Flurry.

“This moment was years in the making. Aren't you glad I made you come out and meet him? He might have just left without ever even seeing you.”

“Took me years just to take that train ride,” added Anon.

“Things probably would have been a lot easier if you'd just appeared where you were supposed to,” laughed Cadance.

“The joke we have is that even though I made the wish, Twilight was more overdue to get married so that's why the heart sent him there.”

Shining snorted.

Flurry squinted at an odd dark blotch on his left pauldon.

“What's that?” she asked, pointing to it.

Shining scrunched his chin to look at his own shoulder. “Oh, that's just where your mother cried on me.”

“You cried too,” blurted Cadance.

“I knew he would,” laughed Flurry. “Overall though you seem uncharacteristically… placid today.”

He shrugged. “Well… I might be wearing stuffy royal guard regalia today but mentally I guess I'm already in the tropics.”

“We're still a little ways from that, Shining.” His wife patted him on the back.

Flurry looked over the scene as the wedding party idled about the tables, slowly grabbing appetizers and taking their seats for the reception lunch. The park was immaculately kemped and decorated especially for their wedding. Through a row of trees was a familiar path that she used to sit by, waiting for Mr. Right to come by. If she stopped and thought about it, it didn't seem that long ago that she was a desperate failure in love with no hope. How nice it was that she could replace those dismal memories of this place with this one and maybe even laugh about them now.

The wedding photographer flagged her down. “Okay, let's get a picture of the whole entourage together before the reception. Mom and dad too.”

Flurry and Anon stood next to each other beneath the trees at the wedding front. Cadance stood next to her daughter. Shining stood next to Anon. They might have been her parents but in this world they were also the closest thing that Anon had to that. Everyone else gathered in around them. Anon held Flurry's hoof and they turned to face the camera as directed.

“Squeeze in a little more on the right side,” commanded the photographer, waving her hoof,

The well dressed stragglers shuffled in closer to fill in the spaces and conjured up their best smiles.

“Perfect. Beautiful. Alright, I'm gonna take a few, here we go.” She lifted the camera to her eye and focused the lens.

Flurry let out a scream just as the shutter clicked, capturing a photo of a wincing entourage and her terror filled expression as an angry, mangy red squirrel with a nicked ear latched onto her head from out of the sky.

A Walk in the Park

Leaves rustled softly in the trees casting dappled sunshine on the sandy little path which cut through the park. Birds twittered in the sky, the sound mingling with the laughter of foals somewhere on a distant playground. Another happy couple walked by, the ponies totally absorbed in each other and off in their own little world. This was where the magic would happen.

Princess Flurry Heart sat slumped alone on a park bench. She wore dark sunglasses and a purple hoodie with the hood pulled over her head but permitting her horn to protrude out. A small group of happy squirrels scampered and chittered about her as she casually tossed them shelled walnuts from a bag she'd bought at the store. Supplies were running low which made her nervous. The whole point of the walnuts was to attract squirrels which were to attract attention from ponies and also give her a pretext to talk to them and maybe, if she was lucky, one would be a hot, eligible stallion.

Her schemes in such matters were rarely direct, often banking on a stochastic element that made things half natural and half contrived. Though when she thought about it nothing really ever felt natural.

A new red squirrel with a nicked ear and a bald patch on its tail bounded over animatedly and sat front and center before her, begging expectantly like a dog.

Flurry fluffed the paper bag in her hooves as she looked inside but only found dust from walnut skin. “Oh, sorry, little guy,” she sighed. “Looks like I'm all out. Maybe next time.”

The squirrel looked around at the host of other squirrels happily munching their bounty of free nuts, many of which had enjoyed five or six already. He stared back at her and scowled intensely.

“What's with the attitude?” she scoffed. “Look. Empty.” She inverted the bag, producing only crumbs. “It’s not my fault. You show up last, what do you expect?”

The unimpressed squirrel narrowed his eyes. He slunk slowly away, casting a vindictive glare over his shoulder all the way to a thick hedge where he vanished from sight.

Flurry furrowed her brow in lingering indignation. “What the hell?” she grumbled under her breath. “Punk…” She shook off the strangely dirty look and turned her attention to the sadly empty spot next to her. Now what? This was all a wash.

The bench was big enough that it, in theory, didn't feel that weird to sit on with a stranger. She'd been waiting for a while now, giving plenty of room, but no one had stopped to sit yet. She'd seen ponies at this bench a lot of times in the past and there were plenty of strangers out today enjoying the nice weather. She thought it would make a simple and easy socializing tool for her.

Flurry sighed in defeat and crumpled her bag into a ball with her magic, tossing it in the nearby trash can. Why was the spot suddenly so vacant now that she was hanging out at it? Maybe she looked weird or something, she thought.

She felt slightly more comfortable around other ponies while incognito but at the same time her appearance said neither approachable nor sexy and looking. Come to think of it, wasn't feeding squirrels something old mares did? How was she supposed to leverage her natural looks without being identified as a princess? Or conversely, how was she supposed to be comfortable socializing in her own skin?

A blue, crystal pony stallion came by, a jogger. The squirrels scattered as he came in hot but coasted to an idle. He walked in circles in her peripheral vision as he cooled down, catching his breath, a faint sheen of sweat on his brow. Flurry's eyebrows raised in intrigue as she surreptitiously took in his physique. He had a build a little on the burly side, not really a runner's body but she didn't care one way or another. She liked anything.

She almost gasped when he plopped down on the bench next to her. Immediately a lump formed in her throat as she began fumbling through a mental checklist of things she should probably try and other things she should probably refrain from doing based on many past negative experiences.

Focus on things you have in common, was her takeaway game plan.

“Hi,” grinned Flurry.

The stallion turned to her as if uncertain she was addressing him but he smiled back. “Oh, uh, hi.”

“So, you like parks too?”

“Yeah.” He agreed.

“And sitting, I see. I also like to sit.”

“Yep...”

“You might say we're kindred spirits in that way.”

He nodded hesitantly and scooted a quarter inch closer to the hoof rest at his end of the bench.

Her eyes went down to the cutie mark on his flank which was a masonry trowel. Flurry didn't know what that was or what it was for but she knew it didn't have anything to do with exercise, competitive galloping, jogging or anything like that.

“It's nice that you have a hobby outside of your cutie mark. It's good to not feel constrained by it. I try to keep lots of hobbies myself. Rock collecting, bottle cap collecting, counting grass, counting ants, just counting while you wait. Exploring abandoned buildings. Making decorative bird nests out of hair. Have you ever walked straight ahead with your eyes closed and you try to go for as long as you can without running into something or opening your eyes? That's actually a hobby I came up with myself. My record is a hundred and twelve steps but it all depends where you do it. Empty hallways make a good control.”

“Uh, no, haven't tried that.” The stallion eyed his watch nervously. “Oh, look at that. I should probably get going. It was nice talking to-”

“Wait, where are you going?” she blurted.

“I- I have to run some errands,” he stammered.

Flurry giggled. “Run… some errands. I see what you did there.”

His face tightened with a desperate kind of apprehension.

“So what are your favorite errands?” That seemed like a natural segue question, she thought. It felt like she was getting better at this.

“I… I don't know,” he shrugged hopelessly.

Flurry frowned as the conversation seemed to be petering out on his end. If she wanted to keep this going she needed to change tactics. It was time to flaunt her natural assets. She straightened up in her seat, brushed back her hood with one hoof to let her luxurious mane unfurl. Then, just as she had practiced in the mirror, turned back to him, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

She smiled tentatively. “What's your-” All of a sudden the previously spurned squirrel returned with a leap, latching onto the side of her face. Flurry let out a scream, leapt from the bench in a panic and tripped flat on the ground where she flailed her legs, rolling about in terror. The squirrel skittered all over her writhing body, looking for places to bite and scratch. Flurry rolled side over side across the hoof path into a bush, trying to shake the animal from her and wailing the whole while.

The alicorn scrambled back to her hooves, frantically swatting herself amongst the shrubbery but quickly realized that the assault was over. Panting, she looked confusedly in all directions but couldn't find the squirrel anywhere.

“Phew, glad that's over,” she chuckled with all the good natured mirth she could muster. Then, having lost her hood and glasses, swept her frazzled, leaf riddled mane back with one hoof. Her eyes returned to the bench.

“Anyway, what was I-” Flurry stopped short when she saw that the stallion had also vanished. Her face fell. “Hey, where did you-” She looked down the trail to see a cloud of dust wafting away into the distance.

She stamped her hoof in frustration. “Ugh, that was completely your fault,” she railed at the nearest tree, totally clueless as to where the squirrel had actually gone. “I had everything under control and then you swooped in and ruined my conversation! I am never bringing nuts to this park again and it's all your fault! You hear me?”

A pair of briskly trotting ponies came by the ranting alicorn, who still stood disheveled in the bushes and shaking her hoof at the tree. They nearly left the path all together to give her a wide enough berth as they passed, making sure to avoid eye contact. - - -

Flurry Heart decided to call it a day after the unprovoked squirrel attack. She went home to lick her wounds both literally and metaphorically, unsure if she could ever return to the park for numerous reasons.

“I didn't even get his name,” she mumbled to herself ruefully. She didn’t emerge from under the sanctuary of her comforter until evening fell. Then the princess showed up for family dinner unusually quiet.

Cadance looked across the table to see her daughter listlessly poking lettuce pieces around on her plate with a floating fork. She never played with her food unless she was thinking about something or not hungry and she was always hungry.

Cadance set down her glass and cleared her throat. “So, how did it go being outside in public today?”

Flurry screwed up her face before absently knocking a cherry tomato off of her salad mound. “Well, it went-” She paused, trying to come up with an encouraging way to describe her experiences but came up empty. “It went,” she sufficed, nodding evasively.

Her parents shared suspicious glances.

“Did you go out dressed like a stalker?” asked Shining dryly.

Flurry looked up from her mess. “That's one opinion,” she shrugged defensively.

“Find any hot guys?” laughed her mother, ever the optimist.

“You make it sound like I'm somepony who just desperately wanders the streets in the middle of the day looking for random stallions to bring home.”

“Aw, so that's a no?”

“Mom, of course I found a hot guy. It was love at first sight. We talked for hours,” she expounded facetiously.

Her mother rubbed her hooves together conspiratorially. “Well, alright then. When's the wedding?”

“Already happened,” she put flippantly.

“You didn't invite us to your wedding?” gasped Cadance.

Flurry knocked down a crouton into a puddle of thousand Island dressing. “I didn't invite anyone. I almost didn't invite myself, what with my penchant for ruining important moments. It’s fine; we can have a big flashy ceremony later but yeah, I'm already legally married. Done deal. We never have to talk about it again. Just slip the throne under my door on your way out.”

“What's his name?” asked her dad, forgetting to completely swallow his drink first.

“Um… Fire… something… Yeah. Fireface, I’m pretty sure.”

“He sounds cool. We're really happy for you.”

“Thanks,” she replied flatly, finally running out of sarcasm steam. “But in all seriousness, it's going to take me a while to emotionally recover enough to go back outside alone.”

Cadance’s face softened. “Oh honey, if you're really serious about looking, you should try a different venue, maybe something designed for finding a special somepony. You should try one of those singles excursions where you go to the mountains or an island resort and have an adventure with strangers. It makes it easier to interact.”

“That sounds scary,” muttered Flurry, finally lifting a forkful of salad to her mouth.

“Everything sounds scary,” sighed her mother frustratedly.

They'd been having this discussion for over ten years now. Since the dawn of her adulthood, nothing had changed. She'd never once had a coltfriend, never even kissed anyone. The closest she'd gotten was having a date for senior prom. Throughout her adolescent years she'd indulged in the excuse that boys were just intimidated by her dad but now that she was a grown ass mare and he was mellowing in his fifties, it seemed it was past time to have a personal reckoning. Maybe she was just weird and getting weirder every year.

Flurry put her food on hiatus again. “You probably should have paid homage to the time honored tradition of producing an heir and a spare. We all know which one I would have been. There's still time to remedy that, I guess. Starting now though… you'll have to wait quite a while for a return on that investment.”

“Yeah, I'd be in my golden years by the time we could finally leave the castle and see the world,” added Shining. “My heart might not be able to take zip lining or parasailing.”

“I think the cynicism at this table has officially reached critical mass,” muttered Cadance. “I don’t want you to lose hope. You’re a lovely young filly-”

“Mom, I’m thirty,” she shot back.

Cadance waggled her eyebrows. “But you’re an alicorn.”

“But dad isn’t.”

“Hey now, what are you implying?” he grunted.

“I am serious though,” continued Flurry. “Because this is really hard for me and I'm starting to doubt I'll be able to inherit the empire because of it. But, now that I'm thinking about it, I guess love isn't really necessary for marriage. I'm sure there's someone out there interested in a completely political marriage even if it's with me. Then you could at least pass the torch and go have fun. Maybe things will even iron out between us after he's trapped with me for several years, like… an acquired taste.”

Cadance recoiled internally at the thought of her daughter resigning herself to a loveless union just to tick the last box on the coronation shopping list. Not only did it sound like an awful life but it felt like a personal failure of the Princess of Love.

“Oh, you don't want to do that,” she argued in disgust.

Flurry threw up her hooves. “Well I don't know what I'm supposed to do then. I can't even get guards to talk to me for very long. I thought I was making progress with Bowstring for a while but it feels like our relationship has stagnated now because we can’t seem to get any further than listing our favorite smells.”

The forced proximity of the castle guards made them easy practice dummies for Flurry's romantic misadventures. She was like a blind fox in a henhouse.

“Bowstring?” laughed her mother dismissively. “Well, no wonder. Bowstring is gay; he wouldn't be interested in mares like that. He's just too awkwardly polite to say anything and embarrass you.”

Shining turned to her in confusion. “Bowstring’s not ga-”

Cadance swiftly kicked him beneath the table and shot him a disapproving look.

“Oh… that Bowstring,” he corrected woodenly. “Yeah, gayer than springtime, that one.”

Flurry's eyes widened in revelation. “It all makes so much sense now,” she gasped. “He didn't even seem to care when I revealed how granola bars are always C2 in vending machines.”

Her mother had no idea what to make of that comment but at least she seemed to feel better about that particular deadend. “You’re going to find someone who loves and appreciates you for you. I truly believe that.”

Flurry Heart said nothing but her expression quickly darkened again as she seemed to slide right back into her troubles. - - -

That night, Flurry laid awake in bed, her social ineptitude cycling through her brain like a leaf caught in a murky eddy. She made jokes with her family about her relationship issues all the time as a way of coping with her repeated failures but despite that, it still really hurt inside.

She wished a great many things. She wished she could have a normal conversation with everyday ponies as if she were an everyday pony herself. She wished to find someone on her own terms the way her parents had found each other. She wished she could take the throne too for that matter but she couldn’t. She couldn’t do anything. All of those problems were tied together in a knot and it made the whole situation feel infinitely heavier.

The Tour

Flurry Heart flouted her royal engagements and spent much of the next two days in bed, eating cream puffs and wallowing in despair.

The alicorn rolled over in her snuggly cocoon and stared at the wall for untold minutes before the silence of her boudoir was shattered by a flash of magic.

“Flurry, it's almost noon,” chided her unseen mother.

“So?” she groaned, shrinking further into her comforter.

Cadance magically flung open the curtains, allowing the room to flood with bright, midday light and causing her daughter to clench her eyes shut in protest.

“So your Aunt Twilight is visiting right now and she brought someone else along with her who I want you to meet.”

“Ugh, that doesn't sound good,” she mumbled, only her face visible. “Well, who is it and why should I care?”

Her mother stood before her in silhouette. “It's Anon.”

Flurry blinked. “Anon? The human… guy… with the skin?”

“Yes. There's only one human in the whole world and he lives right here in your own country and you've never met him before. You should be excited.” She used the same motivational intonation of a parent trying to get their foal to go to their adult friend's foal's party where no one RSVP’d because the kid smells weird and eats paper.

Flurry screwed up her face apprehensively. “Are you sure? I could have sworn I met him last time we went to Canterlot.”

Cadance furrowed her brow in doubtful recollection as she entertained the claim. “Last time we went to Canterlot we just met Spike at the train station.”

“Well, whatever,” she scoffed frustratedly. “The time before that or some other time.” She undulated like a fish out of water.

Her mother threw up her hooves. “Okay, fine. What exactly did he look like when you supposedly met him?”

Flurry gritted her teeth in uncertainty. “Oh uh… Well he wore clothes and walked on his hind legs most of the time and… his paws were…”

“He doesn't have paws.”

“Ugh. You know what I mean. His… foots.”

“You can't do this when you're the reigning princess,” droned Cadance.

“I know but I'm in no danger of being the reigning princess, so-”

Her comforter abruptly vanished from around her in a blink, teleported to the downstairs laundry.

“Mom,” she grunted in annoyance.

“It was probably all crummy from your puffs,” argued Cadance dismissively.

Flurry muttered to herself as she got to her haunches on the naked bed. “I'm still recovering.”

“No you're not. Brush your mane and make yourself presentable for company. It's his first time in the Crystal Empire so we should all try to make a good impression.”

Flurry Heart sighed wistfully but hopped to the floor in compliance. - - -

After a concerted lack of shenanigans, Flurry got herself ready and made a belated appearance in the parlor where Aunt Twilight and the aforementioned human were already seated and visiting with her parents.

She strode with caution discretion to the gathering, eyes fixed on the strange creature. She'd never seen anything like him before. The surface level details she'd latched onto from second hoof accounts appeared to all be true. He wore a black suit and red tie. Hardly any of his actual body was exposed and the parts that were had no coat but naked green flesh. Though it was difficult to tell while he sat folded up in his chair, he appeared tall, taller than an average pony on four legs anyway.

“Oh, Flurry,” chimed her mother upon noticing her presence. “Anon, this is our daughter, Princess Flurry Heart. Flurry, this is the fabled human, Anon.”

Anon smiled warmly, stood up and bowed cordially, bending himself in half as only a bipedal creature could. He was indeed tall, perhaps tall enough to look Twilight or her mother in the eyes. Maybe not her though. Flurry hadn't quite reached the end of her alicorn growth… or maybe she had and she was just a little short.

An elated grin swept over Anon’s face before he sat back down. “Well, now I've met all the alicorns, right?” He glanced back and forth between them all for confirmation while looking like he'd just won a free cruise at bingo.

“Yep,” Twilight grunted dismissively.

“Alright,” he crowed in triumph, pumping a fist in the air. “First human ever to do that.”

Flurry floated to the free chair next to her mother, keeping her eyes on Anon all the while. Despite his odd appearance, everything about him was strangely entrancing and even inviting.

Twilight cleared her throat. “Anyway, it's still an ongoing process but one thing that's interesting is that in the few years he's been here I've noticed that the telomeres on his DNA don't appear to have deteriorated at all.”

“What does that mean?” shrugged Shining, mystified.

“It means he might be ageless,” she clarified.

“And that's weird,” interrupted Anon, “because where I'm from, people aged like all the time, almost constantly.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. “Anon, you should check out the castle,” she suggested dryly. “There's so much to see in the Crystal Empire.”

Cadance, having noticed that her daughter was at least initially intrigued by the human, chimed in. “That's a good idea.” She turned to her. “Flurry, you should show him around. You're not doing anything.”

Flurry blinked and pointed a hoof at herself. “M- me?”

“Sure. You know the empire. You've lived here your whole life. It'll be a great experience.”

“I don't know, I've never given a tour before.”

“It's easy, just take him places and show him stuff. It doesn't have to have some grandiose format to it.”

“That sounds fun,” agreed Anon, slipping the strap of his messenger bag over his neck and getting to his feet.

Flurry stood up slowly and faced the human. “Uh, okay.” Her mind boggled as she tried to throw together an impromptu itinerary but, put on the spot, she was drawing a blank. “Um… I guess… we should start with the castle first.” She gestured raising her hooves with an awkward smile.

“Sure,” he nodded amiably.

“Right...” She teleported the two of them out of the parlor and into the upstairs hall.

“So, this is the hall,” she began with flat uncertainty. “Well, it's actually one of many halls we have here in the castle… and also the empire as a whole.”

Anon looked quizzically all the way down to the end of the hall which was punctuated neatly on one side with potted plants perched atop knee-high columns. Then he turned around and looked down to the other end where the passage terminated at a T-section with a stodgy looking portrait of some long dead noble. Then he turned slowly to his tour guide with a blank expression. “Cool.” He pulled a small SLR camera from his bag, put the strap around his neck, put the viewfinder to his eye and snapped a picture looking in each direction.

“What's next?”

Flurry put a hoof to her chin in thought. - - -

“This is the garden."

“This is the gallery."

“The ballroom.”

“The dining hall.”

“That's where I fell when I was six.”

“This is where I hide when I don't want to attend formal events.”

“This is the dungeon where I and my family were imprisoned in the dark during the coup.” Flurry refrained from lighting her horn in order to emphasize how pitch black it was.

Anon grimaced as the sound of slow dripping water filled the conversation's pause.

“Wow… That sounds like it sucked.”

“Yeah. But I don't actually remember it at all because I was really little at the time.”

“Oh… Well that's nice, I guess…”

The tour continued onward, guided sporadically by whatever thought popped into Flurry's head as she teleported them here and there across the castle. Anon documented every location for posterity.

“This is the balcony. You can see the whole city.”

“This is the kitchen.”

“The wine cellar.”

“Stairs.”

“My parents’ bedroom.”

“My favorite janitor closet.”

“This is where all the trash in the castle goes.”

“Hold on,” said Anon, winding his camera. I need to change rolls.”

“Did you bring that camera with you from the human world?” Asked Flurry curiously.

He shook his head absently. “No. My camera back there was a lot smaller… and digital. Twilight got this one for me because I used to like taking pictures of things when I visited new places back on Earth. You know, it's hard to explain but the digital photos took up a lot less physical space and you got to see them instantly and know if they were good or not. Now, using film, I have to be a lot more careful and picky about what I take pictures of.”

He snapped the back of the camera shut, advanced the film and crouched down to frame the open dumpsters in the alley behind the castle.

Flurry watched the remarkable alien adeptness of his fingers as they adjusted the camera for the next shot. “I like your grabby hooves,” she blurted without much thought.

“Oh, these?” He gestured, raising the camera. “Thanks. I call them hands.”

“What can you do with them?”

“Mostly hold things… or pull on stuff. They're basically a magicless levitation spell.”

“Woah,” she marveled.

“Oh, I can sort of make them look like dogs too.” He held up his free hand, contorting it till it had an ear and a mouth and an eye. “Woof.”

Her mouth dropped open in delighted amazement. “It does look like a dog!” She looked at her own hoof, imagining the possibilities of hands. “I wish I had hands.”

“I wish I had a horn,” he replied.

These were the best conversations she'd ever had with a stranger. There was a weird tingle inside her that she'd never felt before. Was this what talking with someone was supposed to be like? It was so nice and easy.

“Got it. Now what?”

Flurry screwed up her face. “Um… Oh yeah!” She abruptly teleported them from the scene again and into a special cloister.

The alicorn gestured ahead of them. “This is the Crystal Heart; it’s powered by the light inside the crystal ponies and protects the empire from evil forces. If enough ponies become unhappy then we're more susceptible to attack.”

Anon quickly snapped a picture of the slowly bobbing heart which levitated atop a pedestal. It shimmered as the light played over its form and it produced a comforting melodic hum.

“It’s really pretty. Can I touch it?” he asked, looking at her.

Flurry shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I touch it all the time.”

Anon cradled his camera with one hand and reached out the other to stroke the heart with the other. The moment his fingers grazed the crystal, he let out a pained scream. His whole body shook like he was electrified.

Flurry covered her eyes in terror and screamed too until his screaming abruptly stopped. When she opened her eyes, Anon was standing calmly, his hand resting on the heart.

“Just kidding. It's actually kind of nice. Surprisingly warm… Did I get you?”

“Yeah, you did,” Flurry giggled. “I thought you were dying horribly.”

They looked at each other and shared a laugh.

“I really like the blue stripe in your mane,” he said from out of nowhere.

Flurry Heart was aghast. She couldn't remember the last time she heard something like that. There came a bubbliness in her gut that felt like overflowing champagne. “Oh, thank you.”

“Will you take a picture with me with the heart?” he asked.

“Sure.”

Anon slipped the strap off of his head and gathered in with Flurry as they flanked the Crystal Heart on both sides. He fumbled with the camera as he tried to aim it at them with one hand.

“Here, let me do it,” said Flurry, grabbing the device with her magic.

“Oh, good idea.”

She floated the device into place. “Say cheese.” The shutter clicked.

“See? That's why I need a horn,” he laughed. “Man, I'm hungry. Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, actually,” she nodded. “I forgot. I haven't even eaten today. That was weird, she thought; she never forgot to eat. She just hadn't thought about it at all, despite being quite hungry.

“We should go eat something,” Anon proposed with his ever present joviality.

Flurry smiled. “Okay. We've seen most of the stuff in the castle so why don't we go into the city for something?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay, uh… Oh, I got it.” Her horn lit up again and they appeared in the bustling downtown square. “This is the best place to go for street food,” she explained, a little louder now to speak over the commotion.

Anon looked around them. The plaza was packed with food carts and vendors selling practically everything.

“This looks amazing,” he gushed, eyes wide with desire.

“Yeah but we have to hurry. They're going to start closing up soon.”

They started down a row of pop-up stands. Already Anon was getting a few surprised looks from crystal ponies but he was too distracted by all the curios to pay it much mind.

“I want one of these corns on a stick,” he declared vehemently.

“Oh, that sounds good; I want one t-”

Flurry’s expression soured as her eyes fell on a tabloid publication sitting on the news rack behind Anon. The cover was a full page photo of her crazed and standing in a bush at the park. The headline above it read Princess Flurry Heart Yells at Tree. She quickly flipped the paper over with her magic. “I was not yelling at a tree,” she grumbled.

“What did you say?”

“I said… are all humans as tall as you?”

He shrugged. “I’m not really that tall for a human. I like Equestrian castles though because I don't need to duck as much when going through doors.”

Anon waited for her to get her cob on a stick. “Corn toast!” He held his corn up and smiled expectantly.

Without missing a beat, Flurry smacked his corn with hers.

They continued down the strip, eating their corns and catching stares from market goers. Anon stopped before a particularly large snack bar, eying the drinks. “Gonna get a mineral water and some C-twos for later. I ate all mine on the trip.”

Flurry's eyes widened. “C-twos?”

“Yeah. Did you ever notice how granola bars are always C2 in vending machines? Everything else moves around but they're always C2.”

“Yes,” she blurted emphatically. “Yes I did notice! Who keeps doing that?”

Anon raised a finger. “It's some kind of psyop I'm sure but I haven't figured out who does it or why… So I'm still gonna eat ‘em.”

Flurry's heart fluttered with long awaited validation of her conspiracy discovery. She sidled up to Anon as they wandered aimlessly down the sidewalk with their food.

“So, how long are you in town?” she asked, hoping it was a while.

“Like a week. Twilight's actually here doing some research so I'm not sure that's even set in stone. He threw his corn cob in the trash and started on his nachos. “This was fun. Thank you. Did you have fun too?”

“Yeah,” she breathed, reflecting on her day and how it was totally different than how it started.

“Want to do… stuff in the city with me tomorrow if you're free?”

Stunned, Flurry could hardly believe someone would ask her that. “Yes,” she replied breathlessly.

“Great! This is going to be the best week ever!” He smiled with a childlike gleam in his eyes and chip crumbs on his face. He suddenly pointed across the street in excitement. “Look, a park! I love parks!” He turned back to her. “We should go walk through the park.”

Flurry looked across the street and chuckled nervously as she vividly recalled having her face attacked by the angry squirrel that lived there. “Uh, maybe one of the other days we could do that. Should pace ourselves.” - - -

Cadance laid stretched out poolside in a deck chair, soaking up the last of the sinking late afternoon sun when her daughter pranced onto the baked cement beside her.

“Mom,” she cried in elation.

Cadance rolled her head lazily toward the disturbance to find her daughter grinning ear to ear and all but vibrating. “Oh, there you are. I was beginning to wonder if you’d lost Anon.”

“I had such an amazing time with Anon today.”

“I'm so glad.”

“He’s so much easier to talk to than most ponies and he even cares about the stuff I like and say. And and he even asked me out on a date. I don't even know what that is. I forgot,” she giggled.

“That’s so exciting,” gasped her mother. “You're going out tomorrow?”

“Yeah, in town.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don't know; I have to come up with something. It's still kind of an extended tour.”

Cadance sat up. “Oh, don't downplay it. A date is a date. See? I knew this would be a good experience for both of you. Anon's a great guy but I don't think your Aunt Twilight fully appreciates his… whimsy.”

An Unconventional Proposal

Flurry's mind buzzed all night long with reveries of what tomorrow would hold. First when she laid awake. Then when she slept and dreamed of it.

In the morning she met up with an excited Anon after breakfast. Since he was completely new to the city, she took it upon herself to outline their whole day together.

“Surprise me,” he said, when she asked if he wanted a rundown.

She kicked off her first real date ever by taking Anon to a permanent outdoor art installation, a sculpture garden.

The two meandered around a brick courtyard lined with immaculately trimmed hedge partitions. Life sized abstract works of metal and granite sprang up from the ground, large pieces they could walk through or hide behind like a weird, beautiful playground.

Anon kept his camera out to take pictures of the fountains and sculptures as well as each other when artistic vision called for it.

He snapped a photo of Flurry peeking through an oblong hole in a warped metal panel that looked like a standing slice of swiss cheese. She came back around to rejoin him as they headed for what looked like a clutch of giant concrete eggs, some of which appeared to be cracked open and empty as if they'd just hatched.

“We don't have any humans at all here except for you,” she mused. “Do they have ponies where you used to live?”

“Yeah, we had ponies, but only earth ponies, and they didn't talk or… build entire civilizations. They were more like… dogs, I guess?”

“Dogs?”

“Yeah smarter than a lot of other animals and could be domesticated but you can't have a conversation or go with them to a restaurant without getting kicked out.”

Flurry scratched her chin in wonder at the thought of a world where ponies could be wild beasts and not legitimate citizens at all. Seemed like something out of a sci-fi book, then again, everything about this seemed like something out of a sci-fi book.

They managed to visit every piece despite their erratic walking pattern.

“This place is great,” said Anon, putting his camera away. “Can't believe it's free; I'd pay to get in here.”

“Wealthy contributions keep it that way,” chimed Flurry. She eyed the little café in the corner and licked her lips. “Want to get a snack before we go?”

“I always want to get a snack,” he answered in a deathly serious tone.

“Me too. Let's check the little restaurant over there.”

They ambled past the umbrellaed tables and over to the glass case, which served as the counte. There they began to browse their scant options for fare. It was all uncannily plain and simple, almost fake looking but at exorbitant prices.

“Fifteen bits for a bottle of water,” balked Anon.

Flurry put her hooves on the case and squinted inside at a line of well plated but paltry sized foods that wouldn't even qualify as a snack by her standards. “What even are these? They look like tiny bars of bird seed. I forgot how fussy and weird museum food is.”

“That’s really interesting,” noted Anon. “Museum food is overpriced and tasteless in my country too. You're a princess, are you not one for fancy cuisine?”

Flurry scrunched up her nose. “Sometimes. But honestly I like junk food more. I wouldn't call this fancy anyway. It's more… spooky? Like someone who's shiny and prim on the outside but is secretly a serial killer but in food form. Let's just go back to the street vendors,” she suggested excitedly.”

Anon rubbed his hands together. “Lead the way.”

Flurry teleported them back to the street fair they'd visited the previous day. They both got soft pretzels.

“Pretzel toast,” declared Anon.

She bumped her pretzel with his, knocking off some of the overabundant rock salt. Then she began to stuff her face, giving little thought about being a princess in public. Her eyes fell on the nearby magazine display owned by the adjacent snack bar.

There on the rack was the everpresent gossip tabloid, The Mirror, sporting a brand new cover. It was a candid photo from yesterday of her walking down the street beside Anon as they ate their corn cobs on sticks. The bold face headline across the top read: Princess Flurry Heart Dating Alien?

Flurry chuckled smugly through a mouthful of pretzel.

“I can't wait to see what's next,” mumbled Anon, forgetting to swallow first.

Flurry laughed with maniacal anticipation. “Get ready ‘cuz it's gonna blow your mind.” - - -

“It's going up the ramp,” gasped Anon in exuberant delight. He crouched down and watched with bated breath as the dinged up billiard ball appeared to defy gravity and roll up the ramp instead of down. He braced his head in his hands, mouth hanging open. “How does it do that?”

“It's the magnetic vortex,” squealed Flurry like she hadn't already seen this a hundred times.

Anon reset the ball at the bottom and took a photo of the phenomenon as it slowly crawled back up again but quickly realized that a still photo kind of failed to capture what was remarkable about it. He took a photo of Flurry standing on the wall of the warped shack before they exited to go browse the gift shop.

The Crystal Mystery Spot was a campy tourist trap just outside the city, supposedly built on a leyline and steeped in strange legends dating back centuries. Flurry had been obsessed with it since kindergarten.

“I'm definitely getting a souvenir,” began Anon. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

“No problem; I’m just glad I could finally share this place with someone,” answered Flurry. “I used to beg my parents to take me here and they always hated it. They'd fight and tell each other, it's your turn to go; I did it last time. But now that I'm an adult I can just come here whenever I want but it's not as much fun coming here alone. I've never gone here with someone who actually likes it. That makes it extra fun.”

The two wandered around the little gift shop, laughing and playing with the strange and kitschy merchandise.

Anon got a blue hat with a big question mark graphic. Underneath it read Crystal Mystery Spot. Then they flashed back into the city.

Going places was so easy when your date was an alicorn. They were able to pack two days of fun into just one. When it came time for dinner, Flurry took Anon to a slightly upscale café. They sat at a table outside on the sidewalk beneath a canopy of crisscrossing strings of lights that had just been illuminated for sunset. The place had a dreamy sort of ambiance, especially at this time of day.

“Ooh, they have salmon, just printed right there on the menu,” growled Anon, tapping his menu in disbelief. “I've only ever been to like one place that serves meat or fish since I got stranded here.”

“That's why we're here,” replied Flurry thoughtfully. “It’s international cuisine. They have a little bit of everything so it's really popular when meeting up with other creatures from abroad.” She gestured around them where yaks, dragons, griffons, and ponies could all be seen mingling over dinner.

“So you eat meat? You probably miss it a lot, living in a place where everything is geared for herbivores.”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “It's definitely up there on the list.”

Flurry closed her menu. “I can't even imagine what it must be like to just getting stuck in some completely new world all alone... I'd miss everyone.”

Anon's expression darkened. “There are some back there that I definitely miss. Others, not so much. I think the worst thing though is all the stuff I have left unsaid up here.” He pointed to his head. “That still really bothers me. Even if I can't ever go back, I just wish I could send a message and at least say I'm okay, don’t worry about me or I'm sorry. I hope my family has moved on and they're happy but becoming a ghost to them also kind of hurts to think about.”

Flurry's face sagged in dismay. “Are you still trying to get home?”

“Not really,” he shrugged. “I mean, I can't actually do anything myself to get back ‘cuz I'm totally clueless about magic. Princess Twilight is the only one who could maybe help me out but she's already exhausted every idea. Every time she thinks she's found a lead, it comes to a dead end. I don't get my hopes up anymore and she's kind of stopped keeping me in the loop about what, if anything, she does because I think she understands it's just emotional torture for me. For my own sanity I've basically come to terms with the reality of living here forever but I'm not really sure where my place is in this world. I try to look on the bright side though. I always felt like a fish out of water on Earth but at least here I have an excuse.”

Flurry placed a hoof on her heart. “That's exactly how I feel. It's like most ponies I meet are just tolerating me at best even when I try to be nice. It makes looking for a significant other really… hard.”

“That’s a travesty. I know what you mean too. Unfortunately it's no easier for me here than it was at home. We're so unappreciated.”

“So, you’ve… been looking?”

Anon scratched his chin. “Yeah… for a while, actually. I’m ready to settle down with a mare but no one seems to be able to get over my weird appearance. I've made a few friends but that's about as far as I can get while looking like an alien… or acting like an alien… or literally being an alien. And what I really don't get is that I've seen interspecies couples around and everyone seems cool with that. I understand I’m not very handsome by pony standards but just so we're clear, I am actually the most handsome human on my home planet and no one here can say otherwise.”

Flurry let out a weak laugh before a glorious idea suddenly crashed into her brain.

Flurry gasped. “You want to get married? I want to get married too. We should get married together. Will you marry me?”

Anon laughed. “Okay. Sure. Sounds awesome,” he replied flippantly in what he thought was like facetiousness. Then he lifted his glass.

Flurry suddenly felt light headed as an indescribable euphoria hit her. “Great!” She shook in her seat with excitement. “Oh, I can't believe this is finally happening! I can't wait to brag to everyone! And we have so much to plan too!”

Anon slowly sipped his drink with a concerned expression.

“This is the best date I've ever had,” she squealed. - - -

Flurry took them straight back to the castle after dinner. They flashed through rooms in rapid succession until she finally found her parents talking in the private dining room, seated at a table that was empty except for drinks.

“Oh, you're back,” chimed Cadance. “How was your-”

“Mom, dad, we have huge news,” blurted Flurry. Anon and I are engaged to be married!” She drew the man close in one foreleg and smiled ecstatically.

Her parents’ mouths dropped open in tandem.

Anon reciprocated, putting an arm around her withers, his mouth warped into an uncomfortable grin as the only thought he could nail down was how they hadn't even kissed yet.

“You're… not joking this time, aren't you?” asked Cadance, wide-eyed.

“No! Isn't it great?”

“Don't you think you're moving a little fast?” began Cadance.

“No. I mean we both like each other and we’re both lonely and misunderstood. We're plenty old enough.”

Cadance rubbed her head. “I understand that but I just don't want you to rush into such a big commitment like this just because of social pressure or royal decorum. You've never felt the feeling of falling in love before and it's very overwhelming and even intoxicating. You should really take a step back and give this some time.

“Mom, I thought you wanted me to be happy; this makes me happy. And you're talking to me like I'm a little filly.”

“I'm just telling you exactly what every single veteran married pony would tell you. Add on the fact that I'm your mother and only want the best for you. I'm not saying no or withholding my blessing because I disapprove out of principle; I'm saying slow your asses down.”

Shining reached across the table to tap his wife on the shoulder, a strained expression wearing on his face like a fracturing dam about to crumble. “Cadance, can you and I talk about this upstairs right now?” he whispered

“Uh, okay?”

He turned to the newly engaged couple. “Can you please wait here for us?” Shining teleported his wife with him to their bedroom.

“This is not okay,” he exploded. “That guy is so weird and they just met. What the hell are they doing?”

“Flurry is weird too,” shrugged Cadance. “Who did you expect her to go for? Someone boring? And she's an adult. We can't stop her.”

Shining raised an eyebrow. “We can actually.”

Various fantastical scenes of ensuing trauma, drama, imprisonment, murder, running away and their family otherwise being torn apart at the seams, flashed through her brain. “Is this worth becoming a villain over? Anon has a good heart. I can envision them working well together despite such a short run up. We can get them to drag out the engagement a little just to make sure.”

Shining paced in a small, frantic circle. “This is absolutely nuts,” he scoffed in disbelief.

“Shining, this is the moment we've all been waiting for, remember? I thought you wanted to retire and go see the world.”

“And I thought you were hellbent on grandfoals,” he shot back.

Cadance’s forehead wrinkled. “Well we don't necessarily know that they can't give us grandfoals; this is a completely unprecedented coupling.”

Shining batted his eyes. “How are we going to enjoy traveling if we're leaving them at the levers of power? Anon has, what, five years of experience living in our dimension and now suddenly he's going to be Flurry's royal consort?”

Cadance dropped to her haunches and sighed. “You know that Flurry is capable when she has to be and not everything has to be a diarchy just because there are two of them. Back in the olden days they used to have interspecies political marriages between countries all the time. Creatures would ascend to the throne of a country and they'd have no leadership experience and had spent even less time there in the culture than Anon. At least in this instance they like each other.”

“They may like each other but do they love each other?”

She knew what he meant by that. Love, by its nature, didn't happen overnight. It was a process. There was no such thing as real love at first sight as much as Flurry might argue in her inebriated state.

Cadance frowned. “That's why we should slow them down. But in all my interactions with Anon, I haven't found any reason to distrust him and your sister has lived with him for years now. The worst she's ever said about him is that he's a dork... But she's a dork too."

“I'm going to go talk to that guy,” he declared adamantly before disappearing in a crackle of magic.

“Shining,” she groaned before following him back. When she got there, her husband was already addressing the two with vigorous consternation.

“So I think your father and I are at least in agreement that you should take it slower and let the natural process of falling in love breathe a little bit,” Cadance blurted over him, bringing the dialogue to a halt.

Flurry and Anon looked at each other warily.

“Uh, okay?”

“Can I talk to you in private, Anon?” Shining asked sternly.

“Ye-”

Before he could utter the second half of his syllable, he'd already been teleported to Shining's office.

Shining, having appeared in his own chair, gestured across the desk. “Please have a seat.”

Anon looked behind himself to find a pair of empty chairs. He sat down woodenly, placing his hands penitently in his lap like he'd just been called into the principal's office after getting caught hiding in the girl's locker room.

“Did you ask my daughter to marry you?” began Shining bluntly.

“No,” he shook his head. “She asked me.”

“And you said yes?” he hissed.

“Yes… Well we were talking about our mutual love problems and she just floated marriage as a solution out of thin air and I thought she was just joking at first because like, why would a princess ask me to marry her, so I joked back but my jokes don't land a lot of times and-”

“So this is just a misunderstanding?” he bristled ominously. “You'd better straighten all of this out with her right now.”

Anon raised a finger. “Maybe that's what it was for the first minute but here's the thing: I've never connected with or felt this way about anyone I've ever met before. When I talk to her it feels like I've known her for years instead of hours. I wouldn't be sitting here right now if this was all just a misunderstanding because I wouldn't let it get this far.”

“You two are like little kids lost in the woods,” groaned Shining. “It sounds like what we have here is puppy love.”

“Well, maybe so, but it has to start somewhere.”

“You said you'd marry her! After meeting her yesterday!”

“Yeah, but after I actually considered the reality of it, it sounded great. Like, why would I not want to marry her? It sounds like a dream come true.”

Shining facehooved. “That's what dating is supposed to be for, finding reasons to not marry someone and vetting them to see if you can stand being with them for the rest of your life. You can't just skip over that part or you might be finding the red flags afterwards. And of course you'd want to marry a rich princess. Who wouldn't?”

“Apparently a lot of ponies,” shrugged Anon.

Shining glared back at him.

“Those are her words. Not mine. I think she's wonderful. But that's why this seems so right to me. We were meant for only each other.”

“Have you ever been in love before?” asked the frustrated stallion.

“No,” answered Anon after giving it very little thought.

“Have you ever been in a romantic relationship?”

“Not… really.”

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're just infatuated with the first creature to accept you in such a way?”

Anon shook his head. “No. I really think it's more than that.”

Shining's lips tightened. “Have you noticed that unicorns and alicorns wear wedding bands?” He pointed impatiently to his own horn.

“Yes. Yes, I had noticed that,” nodded Anon emphatically. “Uh, humans do that too. I should probably have that discussion with her at some point.”

“It's going to take more than a ring to prove to everyone that you're serious about all of this,” growled Shining.

Someday

The effervescent infatuation between Anon and Flurry increased exponentially in just the following day. Their impulsive commitment to one another put them in a strange relationship stage. They were engaged while barely having hugged and never once exchanging I love yous.

They did frolic together to the breakfast table where Shining and the other two princesses were gathered for what would surely be an awkward meal.

“Oh, Flurry, I put out a royal declaration about your engagement in the wee hours,” began Cadance, pausing her fork in mid stab of an omelet chunk.

“Wonderful,” celebrated Flurry, scooting into the table. “This is so exciting.”

Shining cringed over his oatmeal. There was no getting out of this gracefully now. Publicly legitimizing what would be the biggest engagement since the empire's return meant they had to make it work now lest it become a humiliating spectacle. The whole empire would know within hours and soon after, all of Equestria would as well.

“Cadance, I thought we agreed we were going to slow things down,” he growled through the corner of his mouth.

“We are. Just because you're engaged doesn't mean you're getting married soon.”

“Yeah but announcing it to the world just two days after they met kind of paints us into a corner and attracts a lot of nosy questions.”

“Oh, it'll be fine,” she grunted dismissively, finally lifting the omlet to her mouth.

“So we should go ring shopping today,” began Anon as a general announcement. “Just so everyone's on the same page and all the mares stop harassing me for dates.”

Twilight silently rolled her eyes as she chewed her food.

“Unfortunately I'm probably gonna need something custom because humans wear rings on their fingers which are smaller than horns. Any um… recommendations?”

“Go to Jade and Crystal,” Cadance answered. “They service the throne and are regarded as the best in the Empire.”

“That might be a little pricey for Anon,” countered Shining.

“I’m probably good for it,” Anon was quick to retort. “I've been saving up without any real overhead costs for years now. Uh, Twilight, can you spot me if we find something today and I'll pay you back?”

“Sure,” she sighed, not really knowing how to feel about any of this. - - -

“I wish I could convince both of your parentsthat we're for real,” mused Anon. He walked alongside Flurry down the gallery hall with a hand on her back.

“Oh don't worry about it so much. My dad is that way with everything new. It's just a waiting game more than anything. You'll see; this'll all be ironed out before the wedding.”

“I hope so,” he sighed. His eyes flicked up to the wall just in time to see an impressionist oil painting of Princess Celestia flying over a snow capped mountain range.

He smiled to himself as the romantic image reawakened an unrequited yearning in his soul. He stopped suddenly in his tracks and scratched the back of his neck as he struggled to put the words together in his head. “Hey, Flurry?”

She turned to look back at him quizzically. “Huh?”

“I've been thinking a lot about something and forgive me if it sounds forward but… can I… ride you?”

Flurry blushed in surprise at his request, one which she'd never received from anyone before. “But- but we're not married yet,” she stammered coyly.

Anon jawed at her. “Wait, no, not like that. I mean like I sit on your back and you fly around in the sky with me. See, I've had a dream about doing this since I was seven and Twilight wouldn't… let me.”

Flurry bit her lip apprehensively and looked around the room. “Well I've- I've never-” Soaring through the air with him did sound really fun.

“You know,” he backpedaled. “It's okay, you don't have-”

A twisted smile spread across her face and she squinted back at him shrewdly. “May- maybe just a little quick one.”

“Really?” he gasped.

She wriggled with irreverent giddiness. “Yeah, come on. Get on.”

Anon held back a squeal of joy as his fiancée crouched slightly to make it easier for him to hop on. He raced to her side and braced his hands on her back. Trembling with excitement, he lifted a leg over her and scooted up on top.

He shifted around awkwardly to find a good position. “Okay, do I go after the wings or- No, that feels like I'm gonna fall off,” he quickly decided, carefully sliding his legs one after the other over her folded wings and onto her upper back.

Now it felt a little too close like he was going to slump forward into her neck but he wasn't about to say anything. He wrapped his arms high around her withers and buried his face in her fluffy mane. “Oh, this feels nice.”

“Ready?” she asked with coiled excitement.

“Yeah!”

“Hold on tight!*

A flash of magic took them outside and high above the castle. There came an immediate rush of wind as gravity pulled them back to earth. Anon let out a yelp of surprise before Flurry Heart's graceful wings unfurled and gave a heavy beat to send them swooping back skyward.

Anon gasped as his stomach did flips. His grip on her tightened but he forced his eyes open and looked down with one ear braced against her neck. Below them was the miniaturized Crystal Empire drifting slowly by as Flurry leveled off in a glide.

“This is amazing,” he shouted over the ruffling wind. He slowly pushed himself into an upright position despite the drag and his lingering uneasiness. He turned his head as far around as he could, watching her stiffly outstretched wing and the distant icy mountains flashing in and out of view as they broke through a wispy, low flying cloud.

“Woohoo!” He raised his fists to the sky and then screamed in terror as he wobbled in his seat. He quickly collapsed to the prone position and clamped his arms back around Flurry's neck, faceplanting in the security of her tricolored mane.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he yelled into her whipping hair.

“Are you ready to do some loops?”

“No. Maybe not quite yet.”

Flurry laughed as they sank a bit lower over the city. She banked into a wide u-turn and headed back toward the castle.”

“I can fly a little slower if it's too much,” suggested Flurry as she began to coast. Anon opened his eyes again to see little figures walking and pulling carts through the veins of the empire. This was better than looking out the window when taking off on an airplane but also significantly more exhilarating and scary.

He sat back up again, comfortable with the new slower speed. Flurry rolled playfully side to side, feeling the grip of his legs around her sides, a sensation she'd never felt before.

Just above the castle, she came to an idle. They appeared back inside where she set down on the floor.

Anon exhaled, sliding off of her to the floor. His heart drummed in his chest.

“That was incredible.”

“Yes, we should do that again sometime,” agreed Flurry.

“I should wear a tie clip next time… and also goggles… and perhaps a jaunty little scarf. But not a hat; a hat would definitely fly right off.” - - -

Flurry grinned in the little store mirror as she ran her hoof over the brand new engagement ring on her horn. It was so weird to see it every time she saw her reflection. It was just a white gold hoop with a braided pattern and evenly spaced diamonds between the strands but she felt like a different pony wearing it.

She glanced over at her fiancé who was now in the process of getting sized for his own ring.

The jeweler squinted down at Anon's five flesh sticks splayed out on the counter and hummed. “The empire is inhabited largely by Crystal Ponies but we have clientele from all over the world and we pride ourselves in being able to make custom jewelry for anypony and any creature. Horns, even unicorn horns, actually come in all shapes and sizes including some the size of your… fingers, as you call them.”

“It's this one,” clarified Anon, pointing to his left ring finger. “We wear engagement rings and wedding rings on this one specifically, l think. I don't know why… But I guess if no one else here knows, I can just make up my own rules,” he laughed.

“Try this on.” The pony pushed a plain sizing ring toward him, quite small by pony standards.

Anon picked it up and squeezed it over his knuckle. “That feels right,” he muttered, flipping his hand over back and forth. “I mean, I've never done this before but it's not falling off or cutting off the circulation so it's probably good.”

“Looks like you're a size one,” nodded the stallion. “They only go down to zero. You're still within the convention of the unicorn size chart so this shouldn't be too difficult at all.”

“It's like you're a little unicorn colt getting married,” giggled Flurry.

“Yes. It's like I'm a little underage groom,” he agreed.

The two shared a laugh in front of the bewildered stallion.

Satisfied, Anon pinched the simple band and gave it a strong tug but lost his grip so he tried again. “Doesn't come off very easily,” he grunted.

“Well you typically don't take your wedding ring off very often,” shrugged the jeweler.

“Right. But I do need this one to come off.”

“Hmm… Likely a quirk of the slight conical shape on your more cylindrical form. We will make sure to address that and I'll just get you some horn grease for that.”

“No, it's okay. I think I'm getting it.” Anon wiggled the ring back and forth. Then he spun it around in circles, the flesh on his knuckle bunching up painfully to lock it in place and thwart his efforts.

Flurry and the jeweler watched him struggle fruitlessly for several more seconds.

“Almost… got it,” he muttered, twisting his wrist in vain. He continued contorting his finger with no actual progress for quite some time. “Ow.” He set his hands back on the counter. “Okay, I'm ready for the grease now,” he sighed in defeat. - - -

Anon cautiously moved forward, taking little steps, something between walking and shuffling. With his eyes shut, his instinct was to stretch out his hands to protect his body and probe the environment but he held back knowing it would just increasing the risk of losing the game.

The toe of his shoe bumped into the base of a small tree which gave a soft rustle, bringing his run to an end.

“Aw, nuts,” he grunted, opening his eyes.

Flurry Heart giggled. “Not bad for a first try. Okay, it's my turn now. I'll show you how it's done.”

Shining stood at the balcony rail with Cadance, watching the unaware couple play their daughter's weird game in the cloister garden below.

“Look at them,” he scoffed.

“It's cute,” said Cadance.

“I guess… You think he's enjoying this?”

“I think he at least enjoys Flurry. Why do you dislike Anon so much?”

“I don't dislike him,” he sulked. “I just felt blindsided by this whole thing. “Hey Flurry, why don't you show Anon around?” he parroted. “And now they're engaged. It's totally irresponsible.”

“Oh, it's a new record,” laughed Anon. “My turn.”

“Alright, but before you go this time, stop and look at your environment first and try to memorize it.” Her eyes darted back and forth. “Locate your obstacles, estimate how many steps apart they are and plot a trajectory.”

Anon nodded slowly. He took a deep breath and focused on the sandy, winding path ahead and its natural rhythm. There were trees at the bends that he'd hit again if he didn't navigate it well. He closed his eyes and stepped forward with a measured number of strides before he jogged carefully to the right. He cleared the first turn without much trouble but was unsure if he was now skewed to the path.

“Ooo, that was close,” laughed Flurry.”

Though the sand still crunched under his steps, he began to suspect he was drifting toward the edge. Anon slowed as he came to a bend in the path. Suddenly Flurry teleported a few paces in front of him and stood without a word.

“What was that?” asked Anon, hearing the teleportation zap but still shuffling forward awkwardly. “Flurry?”

Flurry put a hoof over her mouth to keep herself from laughing and giving away her position.

“What is she doing now?” muttered Shining. “I thought that was considered cheating.”

Anon cluelessly inched closer. Flurry swallowed nervously but stood her ground. She craned her neck slightly as his face closed in with hers. At the last moment she shut her eyes. Their lips met softly. Anon's eyes shot open in surprise. He recoiled slightly without knowing what had happened but Flurry leaned in to close the distance immediately. He shut his eyes again as her lips wrapped around his with a sigh.

Shining grimaced. “Ugh.”

“Do you think this is their first kiss?” gasped Cadance.

The two fumbled around amateurishly, mashing their lips together, smearing saliva on each other's faces and enjoying every second of it.

“First with each other or first ever? Because yes to both.”

Cadance cringed. “This is kind of hard to watch.”

“I don't think we're supposed to watch,” grumbled Shining, turning back to the double doors.

Anon broke Their kiss with a gasp and pulled away. “Hold on,” he panted. “I need a breather. Your lips are large and overwhelming.”

“Are you breathing through your nose?” asked Flurry.”

“Oh… No. That's a good idea though,” he nodded. “I'll try that.” - - -

The betrothed sat beneath a shady pergola on the poolside patio, brainstorming ideas for their probably not too soon wedding.

“It's traditional to have big royal weddings in castles but I'm not really traditional,” said Flurry, tapping her pen on her notebook. “I like the privacy of the castle but I think I want to do an outdoor wedding more.”

“I love that idea,” chimed Anon enthusiastically. “What about the Mystery Spot?”

“It's too small and doesn't really have a good front,” groaned Flurry disappointedly, clearly having already given it consideration. “We don't have to stress about this now though. “We've got plenty of time.”

Just then, Cadance aparated beside her.

“Flurry, can we speak with you for a moment in the den?” she cocked her head curtly to the doors.

“Uh… okay?” she answered warily, trying to deduce what this could possibly be about. Her mother vanished in a flash. She shrugged at Anon and followed suit to meet her casually concerned parents in the den.

“What’s going on?” asked Flurry, still mystified by the impromptu meeting.

Cadance cleared her throat. “Well, first of all, you're both adults,” she began. “Have been for a while now. We don't care what you do behind closed doors.”

Flurry blinked. “Is this about the kissing?” she asked bewildered.

Cadance and Shining exchanged odd looks.

“No,” replied Cadance flatly. Then she produced a thin, four page copy of the Mirror, floating it up in front of her daughter. On the front was a full page photo of a winged airborne object in the sky, the image taken looking up from the ground. Then there was a grainy vignette blowup of it which clearly showed Anon riding through the air atop her. The headline read Extra: Alien Spotted Riding Princess Flurry Heart.

Flurry gasped as her face heated up in embarrassment. “I- I can explain,” cried Flurry. “We really wanted to do it and I didn't think anyone would see.”

“It says you flew over the city,” argued Shining dryly.

“Dad, don't read it,” she chided angrily.

“Just do it somewhere else next time,” offered her mother constructively. “For instance, when I used to take your father out on rides back before we-”

“Eew, mom, I do not need to know this.”

“Okay, but just maybe use a little more discretion when engaging in these sorts of… activities in the future is all we're saying.”

Mortified, Flurry dropped to her haunches and hid her face in her hooves. “How am I supposed to govern the empire if I'm so embarrassing all the time?” she moaned.

“It's just the Mirror, honey,” sighed Shining. “No one actually takes them seriously… You have been keeping them afloat financially for over a decade though.”

“Not helpful, Shining.”

What I Once Knew

At breakfast, Flurry and Anon sat so close to each other that they were practically on the same chair. Their blossoming relationship and exuberant discourse always dominated the table.

“And then we're gonna go walking and then we're gonna do dominos and we're gonna plan our wedding some more and then tonight we're gonna go on a ghost tour in the Historical District.”

“Alright alright,” Cadance sighed with exasperation. “Have fun. Just don’t forget that you have other things including a presser at noon.”

“Yeah, we know,” nodded Flurry, twirling her fork in the air.

“How's your research going?” muttered Shining without looking up from his plate.

Twilight shrugged. “It's going about as well as it ever goes. If anything, it's really interesting that I've realized how similar the Crystal Heart is to the Tree of Harmony.”

Flurry's eating was interrupted once more by a sudden thought. “Oh, um… we've been talking and we don't want to have to say goodbye at the end of the week and have Anon go all the way back to Canterlot. So we thought it might be best if Anon were to move into the castle.”

“Wow, I think that's a really great idea,” agreed Twilight with more zeal than she'd shown the entire trip.

“Of course you do,” Shining quipped snidely.

“It's someone else’s turn," she whispered sternly.

Cadance put a hoof to her chin in contemplation. “Well that sounds like a reasonable-”

Shining cleared his throat loudly. “I just don't think it's good to do this right away. It's highly unorthodox when we're already inviting a lot of contention announcing a royal engagement before courtship.”

“Well what if we just got him a place in town?” suggested Cadance. “Long distance relationships are no fun.”

“Oh, you don't have to get me a place,” said Anon. “It would feel weird. I should be able to float my own boat till I find another job in the empire.”

“Well if he's not going to live in the castle, we need to at least extend royal security detail to him,” argued Flurry.

“Of course.”

Shining tried to cut back in again. “Okay, maybe that's a solution but not for right this second.”

“We can go house hunting,” gasped Flurry without concern.

Breakfast petered out, the rest of the company leaving while Flurry and Anon continued sitting extremely close and gushing over houses and locations and visiting every day until they got married and were together forever.

Anon raised a finger. “I almost forgot; I wanted to show you something. Will you take us to my room?

“Sure.”

In a flash they teleported to Anon's castle bedroom. He collapsed to the floor with an oof after unexpectedly losing his chair.

“Oh, sorry,” giggled Flurry.

“It's okay,” he grunted, stumbling to his feet. “Now, I want you to sit on the floor and close your eyes.”

“Okay,” she said, dropping to her haunches. She shut her eyes, trembling with overly generous excitement. She heard a shuffling before he came back to stand in front of her.

“Okay, you can look.”

Flurry opened her eyes to see Anon smiling overtop of a book in his hands with silver hearts printed on the cover.

“Ooo! What is it?”

“I got my photos back from the trip so far and put the best ones together in an album last night. It’s almost our one weekiversary of knowing each other.”

“I wanna see,” gasped Flurry exuberantly.

Anon sat on the floor and settled between her hind hooves. He carefully opened the book. His fiancée watched eagerly over his shoulder.

“Oh, the sculpture garden.” She pointed at the page”

“Yeah, there were so many good ones from there I couldn't cut it shorter than four pages.”

He flipped slowly through the photos which seemed to be organized by event but not in chronological order. There were pictures of them posing with food, the Mystery Spot, a sunset, restaurants, ice cream, the street fair and the city. Some she remembered taking or posing for. Others were surprises. It ended with the selfie they took at the end of the castle tour on the first day.

“The Crystal Heart,” she laughed, remembering his prank. “That's the first picture of us together.” She crossed her forelegs over his chest and clutched him to her barrel. “You filled that whole book with just a few days worth of stuff. Just think of everything we have to look forward to.” - - -

“Don't worry. I've done a hundred of these,” boasted Flurry as she swatted a wrinkle out of Anon's suit. “This is one of the only talking things I'm good at because there are clearly defined parameters and lots of arguing. Just sit there next to me and smile and if they ask you a question, you only answer the question. That's how we can stay on topic, not ramble and not say anything stupid that will follow us for decades to come. Ready?”

“As I'll ever be,” he shrugged.

Flurry nodded and turned away. “Alright, we're on.” She led him out onto the little stage where the murmuring of dozens of ponies swelled in his ears. A gaggle of eager reporters waited in the pit below the platform. A staccato of flashbulbs erupted immediately. The princess sat on her haunches behind her microphone which sat atop a long table. Anon seated himself in a chair behind his mic at the other end and looked out over the crowd. He'd never done anything like a press conference before. But now that he thought about it, that was kind of strange. If a benevolent alien who spoke a common language got stranded on earth, he'd probably do an ass load of pressers and interviews. Then again, there were so many speaking, highly intelligent creatures living in this world that maybe it wasn't as big of a deal when one more popped up.

“Woah,” he laughed, eyes darting across the sea of journalists. “This is crazy,” he announced to the room. “Feels like I'm doing a con panel or a postgame interview.”

“Your mic is on,” whispered Flurry urgently.

“Oh.” He frowned and quickly clammed up.

“Alright, we've got twenty minutes and just to start things out with the obvious one, no, we do not have a date for the big day as of yet.”

The reporters began to scribble on their pads and Flurry pointed to a raised hoof in the front row.

“Can you ballpark the big day?” asked the bespectacled mare.

Flurry screwed up her face. “Mmm… Two years down the road. That's a liberal timeframe estimate.” She beckoned the next question.

“Do you have any concerns about the empire wide perception of having an extra dimensional being, one most ponies have never seen before, being second to the throne?”

“You mean fear over Crystal Ponies rejecting Anon?” asked the princess.

“In short, yes.”

Flurry shook her head adamantly. “None whatsoever. It's just a matter of socializing. He's no different from you or I and the more time he spends with the Crystal Ponies, the faster they'll warm up to him. In the Crystal Empire, love comes first and that's exactly what we have so I'm not worried.”

“Do you see Anon taking an active leadership role in the Crystal Empire after your presumptive transition to power?” asked another reporter.

“Perhaps eventually. I think he'll be taking things slow at first to give him time to grow into the position.”

“Do You feel prepared to take on the role of reigning princess?”

“Absolutely. I'd say I've had more preparation than the average princess.”

“Question for Anon: In your time in Equestria, would you say you've adjusted well to life living amongst ponies?”

Anon blinked in surprise. “Oh, uh, yes. I love ponies. Very friendly and I've felt nothing but welcomed here.”

Flurry smiled at him and nodded in approval before calling on the next hoof.

“Can you confirm that Anon rode you while flying over the city?”

The princess' expression collapsed with embarrassment. “Um… that's news to me,” she lied. “Who said that?”

“The Mirror reported the sighting and even has what appears to be a photograph of the event.”

“Well, they say a lot of things,” she chuckled casually. “But we're not here to address wild conspiracy theories. Let's try to keep it within the constraints of the wedding and our future plans.” - - -

Just like the others they'd shared together, their day was full of love and happiness… and some accidents.

That night Flurry and Anon wandered the lamp lit streets after their ghost tour of the oldest part of town.

“That was so cool,” declared Anon. “I like spooky stuff but I've never been on a tour like that before.”

“Me either,” added Flurry. “I haven't done a lot of the stuff that we're doing. Well… not very often anyway. You just never do stuff that's in your hometown.”

Anon yawned and wrapped an arm around her neck. “Man, that was a big day. Super tired now.”

“Want me to take you back right now?” offered Flurry.

“Just wait till the end of the street,” he sighed, wagging his head lazily.

They walked alone to where the road ended at a low brick wall topped by a wrought iron fence and then Flurry zapped them back into the castle right in front of Anon's door.

Anon stretched his arms and then grabbed Flurry's face softly. He closed his eyes and they shared a passionate goodnight kiss.

“See you tomorrow,” said Flurry with a gentle smile.

Anon put his hand on the door handle but hesitated contemplatively. “Flurry?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I love you.”

Her stomach did a somersault as she heard the three words she'd only ever heard from her close family.

“I love you too, Anon.” No sooner did the words leave her mouth than she felt an uncomfortable pang in her heart, smothering her euphoria like a bird hitting a window with a sickening thud.

Anon frowned unexpectedly and grabbed his chest almost as if he were experiencing the same strange feelings.

“What is it?” asked Flurry.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, face still pinched with uncertainty. “I think I'm just… tired.”

“Oh, well, get some sleep.”

Anon nodded with perturbed absence. “Yeah…” he pushed his door open slowly. “Good night.”

“Good night.” - - -

Anon rolled over beneath his sheets and sighed as he slowly drifted back to sleep. Technically awake but not really aware, he settled on his back in the pampered total silence he'd become so accustomed to in castle life. He winced at an annoying twinge in his scalp. Then he grunted softly as a little gust of wind hit his face.

His eyes opened lazily to find an ethereal pink bird, almost ghost-like, sitting upon his chest and looking at him curiously. He shot upright with belated surprise, startling the bird to flutter away onto the floor.

“What the…” He rubbed his eyes wearily and peered over the edge of his bed, expecting the sight to vanish with his sudden lucidity. Instead he saw it, still there and looking up at him expectantly. It was like no bird he'd ever seen, hot pink and translucent. It was small with a fringe on its head and long, curly plumage trailing its tail that swept the floor behind it like a broom.

Anon furrowed his brow in confusion as the strange animal hopped away to the door. It stopped there and looked back at him, waiting once again.

“Uh… Excuse me?”

The bird gave no response but ruffled its feathers and began to preen itself.

Perplexed, Anon got to his feet and approached the tiny intruder. The creature turned and bounced through the closed door as if it were nothing.

“Okay,” he shrugged, reaching for his pants. “I guess you got me.” After quickly throwing his clothes on, he cautiously poked his head into the hall. Once again, the bird was sitting there, apparently just waiting for him to catch up. It turned and hopped animatedly down the long runner rug like a fleeing rabbit.

Anon walked briskly behind to keep pace but not getting too close. At the end of the hall it turned right.

He caught up just in time to see the bird take flight. It flapped past a fully alert posted guard and sailed over the rail of the balcony and down into the foyer.

Anon slowed as he came upon the guard. “Are you seeing this weird bird?” He pointed ahead and over the railing.

The uniformed mare blinked. “Bird, sir?”

“Uh, never- nevermind,” he mumbled. If she could see it, she would have. The guard watched him curiously as he broke into a jog and hit the stairs going down.

Anon passed another couple of guards as he reacquired the animal and went outside into the night. He followed it through the cloister and back inside through a pair of large doors which surprisingly were unlocked. Beyond was a large chamber he remembered visiting once before. The place where the Crystal Heart resided.

The bird flew straight as an arrow, right into the heart where it vanished in a burst of glowing pink particles.

“Anon?” came a familiar voice.

He slowed to a stop as he became aware of his company. Cadence, Shining, Twilight and Flurry had all mysteriously gathered here at whatever o'clock in the very early morning.

He pointed to the heart. “Did you see the-”

“We all saw it,” answered Shining. “That's what brought us all here.”

The room was full of pop-up tables and open books that weren't there earlier in the week. It looked like Twilight had set up a little research station. The mood of the room seemed inexplicably dower, especially from Flurry.

“What's going on,” he asked, worry creeping into his voice.

Twilight stepped aside slowly to reveal the last thing he expected. Floating behind her in the air was a bizarre looking fissure in spacetime. Its outline warbled a bit but it was distinctly in the shape of a human standing upon the floor, just Anon's size in fact. It looked like someone had cut his very silhouette out of a roll of paper to make a window.

Anon's eyes widened. “What the hell is this?” he breathed.

“Anon, I think this is an interdimensional tear leading back to your home planet. She gestured breathlessly to the anomaly with one hoof. “Does this place inside it look familiar to you?”

Mouth open wide with shock, Anon warily approached the tear.

“It appears stable but don't touch it yet,” warned Twilight.

His eyes bulged as he peeked inside the gap and beheld a cheap, lived in renter’s interior. “Oh my God, that's my brother's apartment! That's exactly where I vanished from. He was at work and I was sitting right there on the couch playing Neptunia and eating Cool Ranch Doritos and then I got zapped here.”

He took another step forward and shouted into the tear. “Hello?”

“We haven't seen or heard any activity on the other side,” explained Twilight. My light doesn't penetrate to the other side either so I doubt we're even visible from that end. I think it must be meant only as a traversable portal just for you.”

“It looks completely different now,” murmured Anon. “He probably doesn't live there anymore.”

The dilemma was so clear and weighty that no one had to explain a thing more. If this had happened a week ago, he would have been sad to leave but elated to return to his family and his own world. But right now it was cruel. It felt once again as if he'd been ripped open.

He turned to Twilight with a pained expression. “This isn't real; this is a weird dream. Why would this be here?”

“It’s the Crystal Heart,” said Twilight. “It's the only thing I've found with this kind of power. That's the whole reason I organized this trip but it seems that simply bringing you to the Crystal Empire was actually the catalyst for the solution to reveal itself because now the heart has called us all here to see this.”

Anon shook his head. “But… I don't understand?”

“Tell him, Flurry.” She looked at the princess who appeared the most distressed out of all of them.

“Anon, I- I made a stupid wish on the heart a long time ago that I could find my soulmate.”

“How long ago?” prodded Twilight.

“It was about five years ago,” she whimpered. “I remember because it was after a really bad Hearts and Hooves day.”

“You’re saying that your off the cuff wish is what brought me here to Equestria and stranded me here for those five years since.”

“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I had no idea anything would actually happen. How could I? I was just sad and angry. But then it brought me you.”

“Sort of,” corrected Twilight. “He was clearly meant for you but he appeared in Canterlot Castle for reasons that still escape me.”

Anon threw up his hands. “And now, after being trapped for years plus one week with Flurry, it’s sending me back?”

“No, Anon. It brought you to our dimension all by itself; if it wanted to send you back, it would just send you back. It’s clear to me that by the way this has been presented to us, you’re meant to make that decision for yourself. We’re just here as witnesses… and interpreters I suppose.”

How long had they been down here convening about this in his absence, wondering if maybe they should wake him up, if he could ever be ready for this revelation? He’d been beckoned here late by the heart’s design.

An overwhelming explosion of dueling emotions broke upon him like a tsunami. It was all an accident but it was all orchestrated. There was no way back but by the esoteric force which brought him here. He was summoned against his will to try out for the part of Flurry Heart’s soulmate, selected from an infinite multitude of other beings in the multiverse and now it seemed, after finally understanding his place here, only now was he offered passage back to his own world and his own family.

Anon turned to Flurry with a grimace. “I’m gonna be sick.” He doubled over, bracing his hands on his knees as he waited for his guts to either revolt or settle.

“I’m really sorry about all this but at least now you can finally see your family again,” said Flurry with a withering, fake smile. “It's okay, Anon, you don't have to worry about me.” Her voice cracked as she lost her composure. “I can't,” she squeaked before Teleporting from the room.

“Flurry,” he groaned in despair. “Come back.”

The room fell silent but the heart still spun and the tear softly morphed, awaiting the verdict.

“What are you going to do now, Anon,” asked Shining Armor grimly.

The man stood up shakily. “I have to talk to Flurry.”

Cadence shook her head. “You’ll have to just wait then. When she disappears there’s no finding her.”

Anon looked back at the dimensional rip, standing there, waiting for him. “I might know where she went,” he breathed.

Where the Heart is

Anon stalked slowly down the hall, being as quiet as he could. He could just barely hear the sound of muffled sobbing. With his ear hovering over the wall, he stopped where the cries reached their zenith.

“Flurry?” he called.

The wall fell silent with surprise. “Anon?” she sniffed. “Aren't you going to go home?”

He placed his hands on the wall. “I want my home to be wherever you are. Please let me in.”

Flurry teleported him inside of the dead space she'd shown him on the tour. There were no windows or doors. It was just a strange virtual space in the walls about the size of a walk-in closet. She'd dressed it up a little, covering the studs with long curtains and furnishing it with a cot and a beanbag chair. There were snacks and old magazines like it was a foal’s tree fort.

“You weren't followed, were you?”

He shook his head. “No. I wouldn't want to give up such an old hiding spot.”

Flurry put her forelegs around him and began to bawl. “Anon, I feel so terrible! This whole thing is my fault!”

He stroked the mane on the back of her neck. “I don't blame you; you didn't even know. It's true, I hate that I was basically abducted and ripped away from everything I know but it also pisses me off that the whole reason I was brought here was to meet you and it took me five years to actually do it. We could have been married years ago.”

Flurry snorted with indecisive sob laughter as she let go of him.

“It's been a struggle adjusting to life here and healing and rehealing from the loss but even so, I wouldn't undo what happened. If the heart says we’re soulmates and it feels like we’re soulmates then how could I possibly just throw that away?”

They kissed awkwardly. Flurry wiped her eyes with her fetlock and swallowed the painful lump in her throat.

“Well… now what are you going to do?”

“I have unfinished business,” he answered urgently. “Will you come back with me to the heart?”

“Okay,” she nodded.

Flurry teleported them from the dead space and back to the Crystal Heart chamber where Twilight and her parents were still waiting for a resolution to the tumultuous situation.

“I'm staying here and marrying Flurry,” declared Anon.

The dimensional tear rippled in response and began to shrink.

“Wait,” he cried, dropping to his knees. “Wait! Come on! Let me at least send a message back! You owe me that much!”

The rip paused its collapse but was now a smaller, more ovoid shape, hovering in the air, still big enough to crawl through, he supposed.

Anon exhaled. “Twilight, do you have a pen and a blank piece of paper I can use?”

“Are you going to write your family a letter?”

“Yeah.”

She began to magically shuffle through the aftermath of her research. “There's no guarantee any of them will ever see it,” she mused grimly. “Like you said, the apartment probably has a brand new tenant now.”

“I know but I have to at least try,” he resolved, staring at the hole in spacetime.

She floated a pen and paper to him. “I've got a better idea. Go ahead and work out what you're going to say on this and I'll make you a telewriter.”

He blinked. “What's that?”

“Something I use that might theoretically let you keep in touch with your family.”

Anon put it out of his mind for now to focus on writing the message. He wanted to address each person with an individual but short letter. His words were sloppy and his thoughts were disorganized but it was only meant to be a draft. He felt panic spurring him along, his eyes intermittently flicking up to check on the portal, fearing that one of these times it might not be there.

He didn't know what kind of force he was dealing with here. Benevolent but imperfect? Cold and indifferent? Did it understand and empathize with his plight or did it simply respond to emotions while executing some detached framework of rules like a referee?

Twilight floated a newly enchanted blank journal into the air and blasted it with a sustained spell beam from her horn. The book glowed, appearing to grow in thickness until it split into two identical journals like a cell in mitosis. Her magic dissipated and she flipped both cloned journals open to the first page. Then she set them down before Anon.

“Here. These two journals should be magically synced so that anything written in one will show up symmetrically in the other. However, there's no way to know if it will work across the multiverse,” she cautioned. “You just have to send it through and wait and see. Go ahead and try writing something.”

Anon slid the book on the right in front of himself and began to transcribe his thoughts from the other paper. He glanced up at the duplicate journal and was astounded to find his words appearing on the page in real time with every stroke of his pen.

“This is amazing,” he gasped. He stood up and impulsively wrapped his arms around Twilight’s neck in an emotional embrace. “Thank you, Twilight.”

“Oh, heh, yes.” She patted him on the back woodenly. “You'd better hurry though. I don't know how stable that rip is.”

Anon quickly finished his letter. It wasn't perfect but it was the best he'd get. Twilight dictated the instructions for the enchanted article to him to write down. Anon also added a note on the outside of the book for the presumptive stranger who would find it. He put his parents names and last known address as well as his brother’s name hoping it would be enough of a lead for a motivated person to get the message into their hands.

Anon clasped the pages shut with the little built-in strap. “Well, that's it,” he breathed, rising to his feet. He carefully lifted the book and everyone gathered solemnly around the strange portal. He swallowed and tossed the book through the way he would toss a laptop on a bed. The moment the journal was through, the rip snapped shut in a blink, vanishing completely.

Anon and Flurry hugged. He shed a tear at the irrevocable finality of his decision but also the hope of comforting his long bereft family.

“It’s going to be okay,” whispered Flurry.

Neighbors

Things inside pony houses were always a little smaller than what was comfortable for Anon. The ceilings were a little low. The doors were a little low. The counters were a little low. Not low enough that he could just drop to his knees while chopping vegetables. It was an in-between kind of low that had him stooping a bit more when washing his hands in the sink. Even Flurry, with her larger than average stature, seemed a little out of place snooping around in commoner pony apartments.

It was just for a year. Then he'd just move into the castle after the lease expired. And then it was just a few months till the wedding.

“They all look the same to me,” shrugged Flurry, sticking her head inside a criminally small coat closet. The crown molding on the floor was chipped, revealing a history of colors including mint green and cotton candy pink before the present day eggshell gloss.

“Yeah but I like the square footage on this one,” countered Anon, opening the cupboards. “And the ceiling seems a little less claustrophobic… and it's got a pool.”

She joined him in the kitchen. “Okay, but if you want to swim you should just come over to the castle.”

“That's true,” he agreed.

“You should just let me buy you a little two story house somewhere,” she reiterated for the third time today.

“A house for just a year? I dunno. This'll be fine. And your dad raised a good point: if I live like an average pony in town for a while it builds solidarity with the Crystal Ponies and then when we're married, that rubs off on you. They'll think you're more grounded and in tune with your subjects; it's almost like a public relations campaign.”

“I guess,” she groaned, running a hoof over the naked MDF board showing through the worn edge of the salt and pepper laminate counter. “No doubt, somepony at the Mirror is writing a glowing article while they watch us through a telescope at this very moment.”

“Wave hi,” said Anon, waving to the window over the sink. “You know, this is actually pretty nostalgic for me. I used to live in places just like this all the time before I just graduated straight to giant castles.”

“I would live with you here until the wedding if it didn't defeat the whole purpose,” mused Flurry. She spun the faucet knob with her magic just to make the water hiss for a half second and leave a thin puddle in the metal basin, proving that someone had visited the empty shell of a domicile. She looked back at him with longing. “Are you hungry? Let's go have lunch somewhere.”

“Yeah, sure. I'm just gonna get the paperwork for this place.” - - -

Anon doodled idly in his sketchbook at the table while they waited for their order. They sat outside as was usual for them at restaurants whenever it was an option.

“I start my new job next week,” he told Flurry. “I told him straight up too that I'd probably only be there for a year at most but he didn't seem to care. I think he thinks that me just being there at all is going to boost his business like he's adding a high profile sideshow or something but I don't mind; I'm just happy to have an easy interview for once in my life.”

He held up his book to show her a loose drawing of a man and an alicorn walking through a spooky forest of trees with faces. “Look. It's us. We're going on an adventure.”

It wasn't a realistic art style. It was more like an old cartoon where they both had noodle limbs. Flurry laughed at the strange depiction of them.

Anon lifted his bag from the floor and slipped the pen and sketchbook back inside. His eyes fell on the empty telewriter he brought with him everywhere and guarded vigilantly. He fished it out and set it on the table. It had been over two weeks since he reached out to his family and he still hadn't received a response. The reason could be any number of things but his fingers paused on the latch as a strange thought occurred to him.

“Do you think time works the same here as it does back on Earth.”

Flurry blinked at the out of the blue suggestion.

“Like, what if time moves a lot slower here and everyone I know is actually already dead or something?” he elaborated in wonder.

“I don't think so,” frowned Flurry. “But I'm no expert. That sounds like a Twilight question.”

He sighed and undid the strap. Then he opened the journal to page four where his letters and instructions ended. At first glance it appeared as if nothing had changed. He might not have noticed at all if it weren't written in blue ink as a subtle contrast to the black, a single cautious word.

Hello?

Anon's mouth dropped open. He pushed the telewriter to the center of the table and pointed urgently to the page.

“Flurry, did- did you write this?”

She squinted at the open book and shook her head. “I haven't touched it.”

“Then… this must be from the other side!” He reached down and rifled through his pack to retrieve a pen. On the space below the phantom word he scribbled his own question.

Who is this?

They waited and watched for a reply for nearly two minutes but nothing happened.

Anon cleared his throat and took a drink. “Well, everyone's probably busy and I'm sure no one's just waiting by the telewriter or carrying it around with them. It might be a while till anyone checks it again.”

“Should we both write in the book if it works?” asked Flurry.

“Yeah, I think that would be great. It'll be the closest you ever get to meeting my family.”

“Look,” blurted Flurry, pointing to the journal.

Anon’s eyes landed on a brand new line of text just as it finished appearing. It was written in the same blue ink.

Your mom.

“It's your mom,” gasped Flurry with excitement.

Anon felt a surge of joyous euphoria as he picked up the book. “Well, not necessarily,” he posed, reading the words again. “It could be my brother… or even my dad.”

Epilogue

“Look at this dump,” muttered Shining as he walked across the threshold of the grand crystal foyer. “Glad I don't live here anymore.”

“Oh, Shining,” sighed Cadance.

He folded his sunglasses in the air and hung them from the collar of his palm tree patterned shirt.

“Welcome back, former prince and princess,” the butler greeted them. “The princess and his royal copilotness wish to receive you in the throne room.”

Cadance blinked. If they were busy why wouldn't they just tell them to relax somewhere else until they were done? The throne room was no place to casually visit, especially with family. “The throne room?” she shrugged. “That's odd.”

“Of course it is,” added Shining.

“I trust you still remember the way,” said the doorpony.

“As long as they didn't move it to the kitchen or something,” quipped Shining.

“Thank you,” droned Cadance in embarrassment before taking the liberty of teleporting her husband away with her.

The two appeared in the nearly empty throne room on the steps just below the two crystal chairs where sat Flurry and Anon, formally dressed and posed as if they were holding court.

“Thank you for coming, mom and dad,” began Flurry cordially.

Shining and Cadance side-eyed each other.

“How was the big tour?”

“Great,” replied Shining. “Feels like we saw more of the world in two months than we did in our whole tenure here. Not to mention that I don't even remember the last time I felt so rested. Now I guess I need to get some new hobbies or something.”

“We got you souvenirs,” added Cadance

Anon smiled and clapped in approval.

“Well, as you can see, the castle is still standing and the empire has not decended into chaos despite your complete and sustained absence.”

Shining scratched his head as he started to wonder if this was all just a little show they were putting on to prove to them that they were proper and responsible rulers.

Flurry waved her hoof gracefully. “Pleasantries aside, we've summoned you here to discuss a very important matter.” She paused to allow the mysterious gravity of her words to soak in. Then she squealed, “We're pregnant!”

Her parents' eyes practically exploded out of their heads. The news hit them doubly hard with the normal immensity of a first pregnancy surprise coupled with the biological compatibility question mark that was no longer a question mark.

“No you're not,” gasped Shining.

“Yes, we are!” She stood up from her throne with a grin almost wider than her face.

Cadance screamed as she ran up the stairs and wrapped her forelegs around her daughter. They all exchanged elated hugs, laughing and crying.

“And when she says ‘we’ she actually does mean both of us.” grinned Anon.

The improbable reproductive leap they'd already spanned made things just muddy enough that they had to stop in bewilderment and consider this for a moment.

Anon waved his hands. “I'm kidding.”

“A little prince or princess,” cheered Cadance.

“Do you have any names picked out?” asked Shining.

“We do,” replied Flurry, trotting in place.

Then Anon cut in. “If it's a boy, Battlestar. If it's a girl, Battlestar.”

Shining's mouth dropped open. “That is… an amazing name!”

“I know,” blurted Anon. “It was my favorite sh-”

His words cut off into an incoherent but no less exuberant mumble as Flurry quickly put a hoof over his mouth.

“We're really excited,” she chuckled nervously. “The due date is about a week before Nightmare Night.”

“-the tabletop game,” finished Anon, as she finally uncovered his mouth.

“Well, I hope you have a celebration planned for us,” laughed Shining.

“We do,” boasted Flurry. “But keep those lips sealed. We're not telling anyone else yet because we have an amazing empire-wide announcement planned.”
“And it's gonna need a lot of bee wax,” nodded Anon.

Author's Note

Ignore the date on the last post and don't be afraid to leave a comment if you have a thought.

If you’d like to support this insanity, you can buy one of my novels.