Collision Code

Act I: Unexpected Collisions

Chapter 1: Migraines, Back Pains, and Tiredness

As Corey floated back into consciousness, he was dully aware that his head still hurt like no other. Also, even though his vision was highly unfocused, he was seeing a brightly colored blur. It was green. It actually sort of felt like he was lying down face first in the grass. He commanded his legs to stand, but something felt weird. His arms also weren't responding the best either to his commands. In fact, his entire body felt alien to him. He tried to pull himself up on his feet, but something wasn't right. His face felt as though it were stuck to the ground.

"What the h--" He whispered, but abruptly halted midsentence. He would not pursue this train of thought. His vision began to focus, and while discovering that he was in fact staring in the ground, the ground seemed brighter than normal. Trying to push himself up again, this time bringing his arms into full view. Only...his arms seemed a lot greener than usual. No...not arms. They weren't arms at all...they looked more like...pony forelegs?! Just as this dawned on him, he heard something hitting the ground behind him, as though falling from a standing position.

"Agh! The light!!" A familiar voice broke him out of his thoughts, but Corey realized that he still needed to get unstuck from this ground. He struggled against the ground, trying desperately to pull whatever it was that had him stuck out of the ground.

"Urgh...!" He tried once, with a sharp grunt, but still nothing. He pulled again, another sharp grunt.

"It's like the Sun!!" called out a second familiar voice. Corey tried again. This time, he put all of his body weight, a considerable amount, and began pulling as hard as his body could muster.

"Come on...get out of the ground...!" Corey groaned loudly, more to himself than anything. He continued to tug and pull.

"Was that...SSJ...?!" said the second familiar voice in clear shock.

"...SSJ...is that...!?" the first familiar voice said. There was a pause. "T...K...?!" This time, the first voice sounded both pissed and shocked.

"...You...! Oh...God no..." The second familiar voice groaned back. "What...did...you...do...?!"

"Gohan...? Toonking...? Is that...?" Corey asked, giving the next pull one hundred and ten percent of his effort. At last, whatever was stuck came loose, and the shock of pulling it out caused the boy to hobble backwards on his legs. Though, Corey wasn't stupid--by this point, he knew what had happened to him, at least. His legs weren't meant for this anymore, since they were now his hind legs. His body couldn't take the strain, forcing him to fall backwards on his back.

As he lay there, on his back, the boy took a good look at himself to process exactly what he looked like. Unsurprisingly, his body had the physical texture of a marshmallow, as far as his added body fat was concerned. He had bright green fur, and looking past his hind legs, Corey could only guess that his mane color was the same as his tail's, a dark green color. And much like the rest of the characters that were this way, he was not wearing a single article of clothing on his body. Forcing himself to get a good look at what got him stuck before, he saw a sharp, green object poking out of his forehead. A horn. No wonder his head hurt.

"...I'm a..." Corey started, but then he looked back towards the voices. He looked to his left, and saw a silver-furred pony, with white hair and red eyes. Also, while this pony didn't have clothing, he had wings. The wings looked...different from the other pegasi Corey had seen in the show that he now knew he was an unwilling part of. They seemed to have "spikier" feathers. Also, the face of this pony seemed to be...rounded. Like the female characters.

"Oh fff--" This pony had Noel's voice, a distinctive Latino twist to it, and definitely male in nature. Like Corey's swear, Noel's was also cut off midsentence. "--I think my coding may have been off."

"You two are...?" the second voice came. Corey knew who this was, and turned to see a smaller, reddish-brown pony with blue eyes. His mane and tail were a darker variant of his fur color. Also, unlike either of the other two humans-turned-ponies, he was actually wearing an article of clothing-a blue hoodie, which had probably been retained by Ivan during the jump. Also, his ears were down as opposed to pointing up like Noel's. Oddly enough, his hooves were actually a pale tan color, visible. He seemed to look down at himself. "Oh God...I'm a...!"

"...P-ponies...we're ponies..." Noel said. The three let this realization sink in for a few moments, during which Corey's frustration with the current situation finally shone through, his expression sinking into its natural scowl. He'd even ruined one of his school photos with it because he thought he was smiling.

"Jiminy Christmas, Christmas! What the h...h--!!! ...HECK...did you just do?!" Corey yelled, struggling to roll on his belly so he could try to stand back up. The body fat he retained was not making it any easier for him. After about fifteen seconds, the former human, now a unicorn, was back on his stomach, struggling to stand on his four feet.

"..." Noel gave a gesture of thought, then a lightbulb went off in his head. And above it, for approximately two seconds, before it vanished into thin air. Corey immediately identified this as a part of cartoon physics, but was going to wait and see where his friend went with his thought. "Hold on, let me try something..." He cocked his left foreleg back, and quite unexpectedly let Ivan have a bitchslap. Or, in this particular case, it'd be called a "bitchhoof". Ivan, being the smaller pony, fell to the ground as a result of this. "Nope, didn't work."

"Christmas!!" Corey scolded, using the English translation of Noel's name as an insult.

"My name isn't Christmas!" Noel yelled back. Corey, realizing the kind of crap that got the three where they are now, decided to take a few deep breaths, to try and calm himself down. It wasn't working, however. He was maybe an hour from going to bed before this happened, and he did not appreciate the wake-up call, since the only reason he was so wide awake now was shock-fueled adrenaline.

"Okay, Noel," Ivan said, clearly pissed from the uncalled-for attack, "What the f...FFF---! Buck! Did you do to get us here?"

"...For the love of God...call me Leo or Leon..." Noel requested. Corey would have pointed out that he wasn't necessarily in such a position to make requests, but decided it wouldn't be prudent. All three of them were clearly aggravated by the situation already...

Alright then, douche, I'll call you 'Leo', now why the Hell am I a unicorn? Why the Hell are you a pegasus, and why the Hell were we sent here? Corey thought to himself.

"...Seems the V-chip is in full effect here..." the lime-colored unicorn noted aloud. "None of us are able to swear. Maybe us being able to say 'God' is a glitch in the system."

"...Hold on..." Ivan said. He looked from Noel--Leo, to Corey, then back. Then his eyes crossed, as he tried to look at his forehead. Then, he looked back, to where his shoulderblades would be if he were human, and frowned. "Great. That's just AWESOME." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "I got the short end of the stick here. Corey, you can cast magic--"

"Not yet, I can't...I'm  not going to attempt to right now, either." Corey cut in, but Ivan continued on his rant.

"--and NOEL, you can fly..."

"I said, call me Leo, da--darn it!" Noel, now officially re-named Leo, swore back.

"We're g-getting sidetracked." Corey was quickly realizing what was happening. He was meeting the two of them for the first time in person now, and...well, his social awkwardness was kicking in, now that he didn't necessarily have a monitor to hide behind. "N--" He halted, corrected himself mid-sentence. "Leo...what the heck were you doing?"

While Leo paused to think for real this time, the unicorn cast a glance up to the sky. No rainbow spying on them, or approaching. Good, wouldn't want any...well, any pony from the show eavesdropping.

"Wait a minute..." Leo's expression immediately became intertwined with exhilaration and terror. "We're ponies now, aren't we?! You know where I sent us?"

"How DID you send us--" Ivan attempted to interrupt.

"I'd better not run into--"

"Leo." Corey was trying his damned hardest not to impale his friend, who from his perspective was acting like a real dick right now, on his newly grown horn, and instead gritted his teeth in anger, the top of his head starting to itch somewhat, as it sometimes did when he got stressed. His legs wobbled somewhat as he took unsteady steps forward. "Stop obsessing over the dang creepypasta and get on with your explanation as to how you sent us to Equestria."

"Irony...." said the former human-turned Earth pony, but that was soon put aside in favor of Leo finally getting on with the explanation.

"Right, well, anyway..." Leo said. "You know how I can hack things, right?"

The two nodded.

"Well, this has nothing to do with that." Leo continued, looking from pony to pony. "Shocking, yes, I know, but I got the code from a random e-mail. I didn't recognize the address, but...I looked at the source code. I was feeling creative that day, so I tested it on an anime universe with a friend, and it worked. We then closed the circuit by using one of the computers there, and found our way back, safe and sound."

Corey's stomach turned somewhat. If someone else out there had a code like that, it could mean censorship on a whole new level. He immediately imagined the code falling into a certain anti-video game activist's hands, and stepped back.

"Bullsh--" Ivan started. Apparently he'd forgotten he couldn't swear while in Equestria. Not because Princess Celestia or her sister would get offended, but because it was physically impossible to say them. "BullSSSSSSHHH--you know what, bullhonkey, Noel, bullhonkey."

Unsurprisingly, Leo bitchhoofed Ivan to the ground a few moments after saying that. Corey tried to put his hoof to his face, but quickly realized him going on three legs at this moment would not be the best way to prevent his horn from getting caught in other things.

"Anyway," Leo continued, as though uninterrupted. "As I discovered, this code can not only send us into any universe, but any continuity of that universe. So...we could have even wound up in a fanfiction universe by complete accident, or even the future of the main continuity, past episodes not even released yet...OR, we could have ended up in the past, before the 'Mane 6' were even born...or, even the Cupca--"

Corey couldn't restrain himself. He rushed up to Leo, forgetting in his rush that he wasn't quite used to his new body quite yet. Normally, Corey wouldn't have given two shits about the mention of creepypasta, but the conditions he was under now were in no way normal. He was agitated that he was in this world, in the body he was currently in, and on top of it, the only thing keeping him suitably awake was adrenaline anyway. So, when Corey attempted to power-walk up to Leo, realizing where he was going with that tangent and intending to throttle him for it, he lost his balance, and stumbled past his friends, embedding his horn in a tree, somehow in at least a decent standing position.

"Dang it all!" Corey grumbled, struggling against the tree. "Stuck again...!"

"Corey, what the heck--wait...What the--?" Leo asked, as though seeing something that he'd missed.

"I know I have a weight issue, you two don't have to make it a talking point!" the green unicorn grunted, trying his hardest to pull out of the tree again.

"Corey," Ivan said, apparently having seen the same thing Leo just did. "It's not that...there's no not-awkward way to say this...but...you have a blender...on your..." He hesitated. "....Your cutie mark...it's a blender!"

"What?!" Corey said, struggling even harder. It was then, he felt something clamp down on his tail, and pull hard, somehow dislodging him from the tree. "...Leo...?!" He turned, to see his friend appear to be spitting out several hairs.

"No homo..." was Leo's response. He appeared to be laughing on the inside at the blender that was now etched onto the green unicorn's rear end on both sides.

"...Well, I can't cook..." the former human thought aloud, looking upon the blender. "...Could it have something to do with my imagination? My 'blender-brain'?"

"How is that going to help us here?" Ivan asked. "...What is mine...?" He turned his head to look. "...A tree...? What the he--ck does that have to do with me? I'm not a nature lover..."

"Could have to do with your skill at Parkour..." Leo started. "You know, other than getting your hand f--" He halted, crossing his eyes for a moment in irritation that he couldn't swear anymore. "messed up."

Ivan scowled, "You know, if the faculty wasn't coming in, I would have had it!"

"Excuses, excuses..."

"Shut up and look at your back end already."

Corey sighed, irritated with the previous exchange. Were they going to drive each other--and by extension, him--up the wall until they got home, or until something turned up? He asked himself this question as Leo finally decided to see what his mark was.

"...A yin-yang symbol?" Leo questioned. "Martial arts...?" He grinned. "Ivan..."

"What?" Ivan asked.

"Hold still for a sec..." A few moments later, Leo struck Ivan between the eyes lightly, causing Ivan to cross his eyes. "I CAN still hit pressure points after all..."

The green unicorn knew what the silver pegasus had just done. He had struck one of Ivan's pressure points, not to kill, but to cause some slight irritation all the same. It was some martial arts that he had picked up from one of his friends-Dim Mak, or "Death Touch". It revolved around striking pressure points to deliver various detrimental effects to the target. Why he was trying that on Ivan, Corey didn't have the foggiest idea. But Leo's repeated attacks on Ivan were really starting to get old. Well, they already were old, and had since reached ancient status.

"Ok, seriously, buck off, Noel!" Ivan yelled again. "I'm leaving now..."

"Where?" Corey asked. "We've got to stick together...we don't know the--"

"Ah, forget about him!" Leo shouted back, in an obvious mocking tone. "If he gets himself killed, that's his problem...he is, after all, about as useful as Yamcha..."

This got the two of them bickering yet again. This time, in person. Well, not literally "in person" because they were ponies now, but you get what I mean. Corey scowled, and resisted every urge in his body to bury his face in his hooves, lest he get stuck in the ground again. His legs were still wobbling under his feet, given that he wasn't used to walking or standing on four.

As for Leo's comment, it has a lot to do with an anime that all three of them enjoy to varying degrees: Dragonball Z. The joke being that the character, Yamcha, is about as useful as electricity during a power outage, and such applied to the power-less Ivan, who was an earth pony and didn't have any real powers other than possibly retaining his Parkour in his pony body.

The green unicorn turned his attention away from his friends, utterly disgusted by the antics, stumbling a little on his feet.

Jesus--wait, I can swear in my mind? ...Anyway, just perfect...They're going to argue until they kill each other! I'll be stuck here forever if Leo gets himself severely hurt, and Ivan still has a life to go back to! So do I...though not much of one given my "Internet nerd" status... Corey mentally spoke, his eyes closed in thought. I mean, sure, some students do want a vacation...but this is like a *super-vacation*... He opened his eyes, and spotted something familiar in the distance. A village, brightly-colored buildings, and he could make out a couple of unidentifiable flying objects, though he assumed those were pegasus ponies conducting the clouds. Ponyville!

"Say what you want, it's not my fault we're stuck here, it's yours, Ivan!" Leo shouted, breaking Corey's trance.

"You silver-furred...Richard-head!" Ivan swore creatively, as "Dick" is somehow short for "Richard" in the English language. "If you'd have kept your anger at bay--"

"This time I'm gonna--"

"Guys!" Corey cut in, breaking the silence before things got messy. "I see a village over there...could be Ponyville. I say we go there now before you guys drive me up the wall and down it again."

"I don't see the point with Noel making fun of me every 35 SECONDS..." Ivan gritted his teeth.

"I think you both better cool it. No--Leo," Corey started, still not quite used to the name change, Ivan's anger not helping any. "Is there any chance of us getting home?"

"...There's a very good chance we may never get home, Corey." Leo said. "I mean, there's no computers. Like I said, I need to input the code from the 'receiving' universe; that is, here, in order to 'close the circuit'. Otherwise, we'd just be sucked right back in the instant we went within about three feet of our computers..."

"I'm going to begin shunning you for the rest of the time here..." Ivan spoke up, clearly beyond agitated at this announcement.

"So we'd better get to Ponyville then. There has to be something here for us to do in the meantime...we'll figure out more when we get there." Corey said, picking up a wobble as he began to walk. Leo started grunting, so Corey turned to see the silver pegasus attempting to utilize his new wings.

He was failing miserably though. A few flaps later, Leo fell flat on his ass.

"Ow...I guess I'd better practice hovering on the way..." He observed, walking past Corey, without even so much as apologizing for his earlier behavior. The green unicorn merely shrugged and turned to Ivan, who began lowering his head, but he didn't seem to be moving much.

"You coming, Ivan?" Corey asked.

Ivan was tired and in shock...and very pissed-off at what was happening. First, he was sucked in his computer, turned into a pony, and woke up in Equestria. Not a world he minded being in, but at the same time, he vastly preferred being bipedal. Plus, he was the only one of the three to not have any specific power. Except Parkour, but that really could only get him so far. To add injury to insult, Leo kept hitting him whenever possible, even testing out martial arts on him.

It's not like I have a serious problem with him...but Noel is being a serious asshole. He gets us stuck here, keeps hitting me, and doesn't apologize for any of it, even blames me for getting us here! This is going to be a real stretch of time. Ivan thought. But as long as one of us keeps his cool, I think we'll make it through this...oh God...

Ivan yawned, having felt it coming during his mental monologue. The adrenaline in his veins must have already fizzled out on him. Blaming Noel for this due to the uncalled-for pressure point strike, Ivan looked briefly to Corey, who had waited.

"Yeah...coming..."

And so, the three former humans, now a green unicorn, a silver pegasus, and a brown Earth pony with a hoodie, began to make their way to Ponyville. Along the way, Leo would attempt a little more flight, each time getting slightly better at hovering than the last. Ivan would seem to stop moving for a few seconds, but quickly start following along again. Corey was walking along at a relatively slow pace, to avoid getting his horn caught in things.

The heroes followed the path, through thick and thin woods. They started to pass a few ponies, indicating they were getting close.

And thus their descent into the chaotic and yet serene world of Equestria began...

Just so you know, I'm uploading the prologue and the first two chapters. That way, we actually meet canon ponies. I'd feel guilty otherwise.