Collision Code

Act I: Unexpected Collisions

Chapter 3: Of Rainbows and Strawboxes

For Corey, landing in Equestria was becoming more and more painful with each passing second. Within the first ten minutes of being in Ponyville, he got sighted by Pinkie which would lead to terrible amounts of social activity. Then he almost sliced up Applejack by complete accident with his horn before getting it stuck in the ground right in front of her. The former human had little confidence around women, and having coordination failures like that didn't exactly help a whole lot either. At least he didn't completely clam up, otherwise he'd have given Leo and Ivan the wrong impression.

It had been a few minutes now since Ivan left with Applejack to go get some sleep. The orange pony was not hearing a word of protest from him. He did look really tired, now that Corey though about it.

"How could Ivan have lost so much adrenaline...I'm still awake and I feel like I can go on for maybe another hour with the adrenaline I have now..." Corey wondered aloud, forgetting Leo was in his company.

"Yeah...that was me..." Leo admitted. "I might have stopped his adrenaline from being produced when I tapped his pressure point. I guess pony bodies don't have the exact same pressure points as humans, or at least they don't have the exact same effects..."

"You might wanna look into that if you want your martial arts to be of any use here." the green unicorn responded. "While I'm on the subject, why would you have tested it out on Ivan...or any friend, for that matter?"

"Define 'friend'..." the silver pegasus responded. Corey immediately looked around in a fit of self-consciousness. If any single pony had heard that, especially one of the remaining members of the Mane 6 that they hadn't met yet, Leo might have chosen the most incorrect word combination ever spoken in Equestria. The second most incorrect word combination would be essentially saying that Discord, the villain from Season 2, was in fact in the right to do as he pleased. Because that would get you lynched, Corey felt deep down in his heart.

"I don't need to define something like that. Even if you don't consider him a friend, at least consider him a traveling companion until we find our way out of this sh--mess." Corey spoke. Not being able to swear, now that such an ability was unavailable to him, was actually sort of nice. Maybe he'd finally learn to clean up his language, and when he got back to Earth, his father wouldn't be able to scold him for his language because his time here would have cleaned it up.

Until he remembered the internet back on Earth was a very vulgar place, and thus decided to drop the subject entirely.

"Yeah, yeah," Leo apparently got annoyed by Corey's carping on the matter. "Wish we'd asked Applejack for directions to the library..."

"I really should have," the former human admitted, looking around before his voice once more dropped to a whisper. "Ponyville's a lot bigger in person."

Corey continued to walk, facing the ground. If only he'd been there to mediate Ivan and Leo's argument, maybe this whole mess would not have happened. He turned to his old friend to confide in him his guilt, but he noticed something. Leo's ears were pricked up, as though receptive of some sound.

"...Do you hear that?" Leo asked. Corey, being unable to hear this sound, despite his new pony hearing, began to doubt it.

"What's it sound like?" Corey asked, forgetting immediately what he was about to say.

"A high pitched sound...almost like a whistle." Leo replied. Almost as soon as the silver former human finished his statement, Corey could just barely make it out.

"...What...could that be..." the green former human asked. The sound grew closer, louder, until it faded into a whoosh.

This...seems familiar, somehow... Corey thought to himself, looking in the direction he could hear the whoosh. ...Oh crap...! Incoming rainbow!!

The green unicorn and fat former human wasn't dim by any means. He knew full well there was only one character capable of leaving a rainbow in her wake. And said character was currently heading straight at them; a cyan speck being trailed by a rainbow, and closing in fast.

"M-MOOOOOOOOVE!!" screamed the distant speck. Corey was not by any means one to argue with a rainbow-colored pegasus, so he began stumbling, shuffling out of the way. As his vision filled with smoke, the former human once more lost his balance, and once more found himself looking at the road beneath his hooves, his horn once more impaling the ground. Just as this happened, he heard a loud sound, sounding like things tumbling over each other.

I think I just got a double dose of fanfictions I'd written with the help of these friends of mine... Corey thought, immediately willing himself to get his horn unstuck from the road so he could look. The green former human was by no means a dummy; he knew exactly what had just happened. Seeing that she was about to wipe out and cream whoever was in her way, a certain member of the Mane 6 shouted a heads-up. Leo must have gotten nailed pretty hard. Eager to see karma at work, Corey applied the principle he learned with his incident with Applejack, putting his whole body behind getting his horn unstuck.

This worked fast enough for Corey to sufficiently whirl around and see what happened. The dust from the impact went a few good yards down from where the sound initially came from, so the green unicorn followed the fading dust...and was met with a sight that he didn't expect to see. His eye half-closed for a few seconds as his mental train derailed as he processed the scene before him.

Is his face that color because she landed on him like that, or is he enjoying himself?

Leo was sideways on the ground, his wings at his sides, retracted, his red eyes wide open...and the reddest face to match his eyes. He was staring straight up at a cyan-colored pegasus, female, with a rainbow-colored mane and tail, and a cutie mark resembling a cloud with a rainbow bolt coming out of it.

This was Rainbow Dash, another member of the Mane 6, and probably the most insensitive out of them all. Despite this, she was still fundamentally good at heart, bearing the Element of Loyalty. Corey couldn't see her facial expression, but relative to Leo, she was belly-first on his side, and one of her forelegs had wound up around Leo.

In other words, if Ivan were here, he'd probably have made a sexual comment regarding what just happened, and the final positioning of the pegasi. Corey shuffled his way around, but the two pegasi began to twitch. He halted, seeing Leo look as though he didn't know what to say. The two met eyes, and it looked as though the silver pegasus was about to lose control. Corey couldn't help but notice that Leo's wings appeared to be twitching, quivering. Deciding to push aside Leo's predicament for the moment, and really curious to see if the rumors about Rainbow Dash were true (as far as some Internet sites and fanfictions went, anyway), the green unicorn immediately launched a single question, aiming to get the pegasus to turn to him.

"Excuse me," Corey said, his inner sarcasm preventing his typical stutter and vocal cues from showing (or perhaps it was the fact that he technically knew her), "but is this just how you greet new ponies here?"

Okay, THAT sounded way too natural, Corey thought to himself, watching Dash's reaction. The cyan pegasus turned her head to look at him, and while it was harder to see than Leo's, her cheeks were notably tinted a light pink. Well, that shoots the "Rainbow Dash is a Lesbian" theory out the window...I'm okay with this. Wait, Leo has a feminine snout...focus, damnit! Focus!

"No, I was just practicing a few new tricks..." responded the mare.

Should have seen that one coming. She does have ambitions for joining the Wonderbolts one day, after all. The former human thought. Noticing the blush pronounced on the silver pegasus's cheeks, despite the fur there, Corey decided to call upon his inner douche, noticing Leo's face was continuing to redden rather than become normally hued. His wings were still notably quivering, and increasing in power and intensity. Breaking his filter, and hoping his statement wouldn't be, the former human lurched forward slightly.

"N--" Corey started, almost saying Leo's real name. However, he decided what he was about to say was enough, and corrected himself, "Leo, enjoying yourself over there?"

Leo and Corey met eyes. Then the silver pegasus looked back up to Dash, his blush intensifying. Then something really, really weird started to happen. Leo's wings began to quiver, vibrating incredibly quick. Then, they shot out, pushing Dash off of the silver pegasus, though the cyan pegasus quickly recovered from this. Leo seemed incredibly embarrassed, and Corey knew both of them, at least, understood what happened. But the green unicorn was understandably perplexed.

Okay, two things are going through my mind...one, is Leo already developing a crush on Rainbow Dash; two...did he just fricking pop a WINGBONER?! Corey thought, his mind drawing a total blank at this as he fought back the urge to laugh. ...My God, we're fucked. It's only going to be so long before I start stuttering and unable to speak fluently now that I've had my sarcasm...! And Ivan's...more focused on sleep.

Quickly, the fat former human knew he had to think of something, and fast. If Leo and Corey were to find their way to the library, they'd have to ask Rainbow for directions...

If she would trust them enough to give them said directions...

For Rainbow Dash, things had quieted down since the last great event Ponyville and Equestria went through. She was able to balance reading (not that these two had to know that right away) and aerial athleticism. She still had ambitions of joining the Wonderbolts one day, and was working on moves. Unfortunately, in a rare instance these days, she had lost control of her flight, and had to make a crash landing. It was a little embarrassing, even when nopony was around to see it, but it was not nearly enough to make her abandon her dream.

She felt shocked at the silver pegasus's sudden..."outburst". She was a little embarrassed that it had happened, but this embarrassment was slightly magnified when she realized something else about the pony she had collided with.

"D-D-darn it...Corey..." the pony in question mumbled, clearly male in tone. His wings, which were now relaxing and returning to his sides...looked different than hers. They appeared to have spiked-out feathers. He seemed clearly embarrassed by what happened.

"You're...a colt?" She asked, unable to refrain from asking. It struck her as somewhat amusing.

"Eh?" asked the silver pegasus. His eyes widened. Apparently, for some reason, he only just realized he'd had a feminine snout. At least, that's what it appeared to be. "Oh, uh, y-yeah, I am..."

A small snort issued from Dash's nose. She didn't want to laugh. Probably one of the few times Rainbow had ever shown new ponies she didn't know sympathy for their predicament. Besides, his wings popped out, in the way that wings of pegasi normally would when confronted with situations similar to that. For some reason, a tiny, almost mute voice in the back of her head told her to not give the silver pegasus a hard time about his physical appearance.

"Who--" The other colt, the fat green unicorn...Corey, the silver pegasus said, interrupting with a stutter. "--Who are you?"

Which was fine, given she had somepony else on standby ripe for messing with. She wasn't going to give him too much heat, unless he turned out to be a genuine jerk.

"Well," Rainbow responded. "I'm the one-and-only Rainbow Dash, the official fastest flier in Equestria!"

The green unicorn looked up at her, and it was at this moment, she noticed he looked like he was scowling since the day he was born. Quite a contrast from most--no, everypony she knew. The still-unknown pony who she tackled, on the other hand, was two giggles away from bursting out laughing. The flying rainbow continued trying to be as nice as she could stand to be.

"And you are...?" Rainbow wanted to be sure. "Corey" was a strange name, one that she'd never really heard before.

"C-Corey..." He stuttered. All that confidence and poise he'd had while having fun at his friend's expense suddenly withered away, leaving him with a slight stuttering problem.

"That's an odd name," Rainbow said bluntly, turning to the colt she tackled, still looking as though he hadn't exactly enjoyed his friend's intrusion. At least, she was assuming they were; they were talking to each other from what she could see before she realized she was about to wipe out. Something about this fat unicorn's personality reminded her of something she'd seen before in another pony, cranked to eleven.

Pushing these thoughts out of her mind, she turned to the silver pegasus, who by now had managed to calm down and get back on his hooves.

"And what's your name?" she asked. Something about the way she was asking rubbed her the wrong way, but she remembered she was trying to not be as much of a pain to these two right away.

"L...Leo..." answered the silver pegasus, seeming to pull himself out of a daydream. "My name is Leo..."

"Still not as odd as 'Corey'..."

Noel, or Leo, as he preferred to be called, was overwhelmed by the emotions and sensations that had coursed through his body. For the first time in a long time, he had developed a crush on someone. Well, in this case "somepony" was more appropriate. And of course, as luck would have it, he would, as per a human male, pop a boner upon realizing said crush was on top of him. Only difference is, he could have probably hid that sort of boner a lot better than the wingboner he'd just endured.

Damn, Corey can be a real ass sometimes... he thought to himself, remembering that Corey got in not one, but two free shots regarding his condition, the second of which caused him to lose control over his wings, so if Rainbow Dash were to tease Corey on the matter of his weight, he wouldn't feel sympathetic too much. He couldn't rightly feel zero sympathy, given he apparently had a feminine snout rather than a masculine, sharp snout, and sooner or later, Dash would stop pulling her punches.

"Got a little caught up in my practice, Leo," said the cyan pegasus, hovering now as though it weren't any trouble. "That won't happen again, so don't get your hopes up!"

...Fuck you, Corey, fuck you... And just like that, Leo felt his heart sink just a little, blaming Corey for that.

"...Gotta give Corey a little credit, though," cut in the flying rainbow. "For being a big guy, he sure moves quick..."

Leo nodded, giggling just a little at the first time. It was the first genuine laugh he'd had in a while. He hadn't felt so...happy...in a long time.

"S-Sue me..." Corey growled, hanging his head. Leo couldn't control himself. An urge passed straight through him. He wanted to join in on the fat jokes, given that Corey had successfully humiliated him saying what he said.

"Don't think you'd fit in a small claims court..." The silver former human piped in, causing Corey to glare up at him, clear anger in his eyes. Leo didn't exactly care about this.

"L-Leo?!" Corey yelled, completely caught off-guard by this sudden statement. Dash started giggling, and Leo continued laughing...until he remembered something.

I can't fucking fly!!! the former human remembered, trying to mask his fear at this. I could ask her, but she'd question for sure why I can't...and I don't think it'd be best for her to know I'm human quite yet. I am a quick learner, it could work out...but I don't want to take the chance with Corey around. He's probably itching for some payback... I know how to ask this, I think...

As the conversation with Rainbow Dash went on, Corey was firmly convinced that at least his first day in Ponyville would be pure hell. He'd be around ponies he only knew through watching a few adventures of theirs at a party thrown by Pinkie Pie, which he wasn't sure he could quite handle yet. He'd made an absolute ass out of himself and almost sliced open Applejack. Now, five minutes after that one, Rainbow Dash was ripping on his weight, and now Leo was joining in out of his very obvious boner for the cyan pegasus! Well, "wingboner", but still.

Just keep it up, you bastard...one day, while we're here, karma's going to bite you so hard... Corey hung his head.

"Hey, Dash..." Leo cut in, interrupting Corey's thoughts. Instantly, the thought process of Corey took a nosedive.

Is he seriously going to ask her out on a date now? the former human thought to himself, his eyes widening.

"Yeah?" asked Dash, turning to Leo.

"...I seem to be having an off day...I'm having an awfully hard time flying straight. Since you seem to be well controlled in your flight, even on your off-days...could you...tutor me?" asked the silver pegasus.

Good thing the living lie detector Applejack isn't here. She'd smell that lie for sure. Corey thought to himself. A hefty silence hung between the two, and the green unicorn suddenly felt like a third wheel, again. Just like all those Skype conversations his cousin let him into, while said cousin was talking to his girlfriend.

"Consider yourself lucky, Leo, that I don't have anything else planned today," answered Rainbow. "I guess I can. Though I don't know how anypony could have that bad of a day..."

Corey realized something in this instance, something dire and related to the grand problem. Actually, he realized three things total.

That reminds me, I do need to learn how to utilize my magic, if it's possible at all. Wonder if Twilight'd teach me if I'm able to explain the situation. Speaking of Twilight, would I get compared to her again if I mentioned I was trying to find the library? ...Oh crap, I'd better ask where it is before they leave! With this in mind, Corey hesitantly approached the pegasi, completely expecting more fat jokes.

"E-excuse me," His stutter came out, "Dash, right?"

"One at a time, I can't tutor him and help you lose a few pounds..." Dash responded, again referencing Corey's weight to her amusement and Leo's as well. With a small sigh, having seen this coming, Corey continued anyway.

"Anyway, I came to town looking to read up on what Ponyville has to offer," Corey stuck to his story.

"Y-yeah!" Leo cut in, apparently to solidify Corey's alibi. Or maybe he just wanted Corey out of range. "H-he was looking for the library..."

"Then what were you looking for?" Dash asked.

"A new place to fly around, I guess," Leo responded. "Unfortunately..." He hesitated, then continued. "I haven't been sleeping too good lately."

"So you're looking for the library, huh?" asked the cyan pegasus, turning back to Corey, an impish smile on her face. He saw her face twitch just a little. "And you like reading...hm...I know a friend that might just love meeting you..."

It was now Corey's turn to face twitch just a little, realizing exactly what Rainbow Dash was referring to. That was a little bit beyond "comparison". She was flat-out implying she and him would make...really special friends. That wasn't in Corey's itinerary at all, at least, not that he could see it happening.

"...Sounds interesting," said Corey, trying to act as though he had no idea what he just walked into. "Doesn't answer my question though."

"Oh, right..." the cyan pegasus said, indicating with her hoof which way to go, a few degrees behind herself and Leo. "If you go that way, you'll find my friend, Twilight Sparkle. Her home IS the library."

"I see." responded Corey. Immediately, he began to think to himself of all the times he'd had group projects back in school. If he was around people he trusted, things went smoothly. But the only things he'd worked on with others up until now were just that, projects, some for school, others for his hobby of spriting. Neither were nearly as dire as a potentially deadly romp through the mystical pony world of Equestria. The grade was pass or fail, live or die. The fact that Leo and Ivan were out of his hair-well, his fur, served to relax him somewhat.

It's not that he wanted the three of them to split up as they did; he certainly needed their help to explain the situation, but then again, with Leo and Ivan's animosity towards each other, they wouldn't be of much help once Leo started slapping. Corey was used to being independent when dealing with matters of relative importance to him. Hell, his last college semester, he had to do two entire Calculus group projects pretty much on his own. However, it wasn't entirely his groupmates' faults on that one.

Bottom line, with Leo about to undergo flight training under Rainbow Dash's wing, no pun intended, and Ivan about to crash over at Sweet Apple Acres, the weight of the monumental test of telling the former humans' story to the local bookworm now rested entirely on his back. With this on mind, Corey kept his face and mental state as level as possible. He began trotting in the direction Rainbow Dash indicated with her hoof. But the fat jokes left him a little pissed-off, so he had to get in one last shot.

"Have fun..." said the green unicorn listlessly, immediately increasing his trotting speed, a bit of a stumble in his step which he fought to control. The last thing he needed at the moment was Rainbow Dash laughing at his fat ass getting his horn caught in the ground again. Thanking his lucky stars the cyan tease factory hadn't caught that, Corey smiled, only slightly. "I'll be seeing you guys later, I'm guessing."

"'Kay!" Dash announced. "Won't be too hard to find ya!"

Leo and Dash both laughed at this. Corey snarled.

Is this going to be the entire first day, with every main...or mane...character, ripping on my weight? Leo...you son of a bitch... he thought to himself, his mane obscuring his eyes from general viewing as he hung his head. Just as he turned the corner, he heard one last tidbit:

"So, Leo, you ready to start?" This was Dash, obviously turning to Leo with her statement.

"Yeah, any time you are..." Any semblance of "douche" seemed to have vanished entirely from his words. Corey halted dead in his tracks, and looked back.

"Good. If I go too fast, don't bother telling me!"

The green former human smiled, baring his teeth at Leo's predicament.

Karma, you have not failed me after all!

Realizing he needed to get a move on, Corey immediately pulled himself together, trying to compose himself, his face resuming somewhat of a scowl as he continued to trot in the direction of the library. As he walked, he began to wonder what was happening on Ivan's end...

The walk to Sweet Apple Acres had been longer than expected. Ivan had quickly found out how much bigger Ponyville seemed when you had to walk through it yourself. There were no legitimate "timeskip" scene transitions to expedite the process, otherwise he'd have already been passed out asleep in whatever bed Applejack offered him. Inside Equestria, time apparently passed the same way it did back on Earth.

Not that Ivan cared enough about any of this enough to be able to remember thinking about it. Any of the above thoughts passed through his mind like water. It went straight in one ear and out the other ear. His tired state was affecting him. He'd spent the last five minutes of the walk shoulder-to-shoulder with Applejack, since he was stumbling worse than Corey, and had once again completely slumped over and fell face-first to the ground, sleeping on the spot.

The former human still felt like he was imposing on the earth pony and her family for the beds, even though it was Applejack who made the offer out of clear sympathy. The "imposing" feeling turned into a small amount of guilt. It was enough to motivate him to speak.

"...You said you worked on a farm...?" Ivan slurred, now at the point of being so tired that he could barely form words. The occasional five-second power naps weren't helping any. He wasn't aware of it, but his voice was faint.

"I'm--rry, what'd you say, I---?" Applejack asked, though Ivan wasn't getting good reception through his tired ears. Realizing he was due to pass out from tiredness at any moment, the former human repeated what he said, to which Applejack confirmed, with even less volume and clarity than before.

"Well...in return...for the place to..." he stifled the biggest yawn he'd yawned since being a pony, "sleep...I want...to help out a little...if you have anything for me to do..."

Applejack seemed to be perplexed at this offer. While he couldn't hear her, he could at least read her lips.

"That's mighty nice of ya, partner," she mouthed, Ivan's ears pretty much on mute. "you sure?"

"Yeah..." He almost nodded off on the spot again, but an orange hoof caught him around the front to keep him standing on all fours. If that made any sense.

"D-n't y-u quit on me, Iva-! We're almost the--!" Applejack's words were literally going in one ear and out the other.

The next few minutes were a blur. His ears were nearly on mute, and his vision was darkening and blurring as he fought to stay awake for just a little longer. From what he could gather, the other Apple family members were a little perplexed at Applejack's request. However, when they apparently saw the condition he was in (even with his vision blurred, due to the bright, vibrant colors of the cast, he was able to tell when they were looking at him), they didn't see any reason why not.

Ivan felt his body give out, as he once again slumped over with his rump in the air. Applejack stopped in front of him, smiling. He couldn't make out what she was telling him anymore, but from the smile he could somewhat see, it seemed that his napping at the farm was "okayed". Apparently the ponies were very sympathetic to sleepy newcomers, even ones with odd names by Equestria's standards.

Come on, body, just a little longer... the former human urged himself, trying to get back on his four feet. He was almost to a bed, and he'd be damned if he didn't make it to one. He was helped up the stairs, to a second floor guest bedroom. He wasn't surprised at this. Given the massive size of the extended Apple family, there had to have been plenty of room for a single pony to nap.

As soon as his blurred vision saw the bed, he mumbled a "thanks", immensely grateful for the bed. If his mumbled statement wasn't enough, the way he felt himself rush to the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers, obviously would have. The instant he laid out in the bed in a comfortable position for his new pony body (which surprisingly still felt human), Ivan was out like a light.

Hope Corey and Leo are having better luck staying awake... was the last thing Ivan thought before sleep overwhelmed his senses.

Corey continued to follow the road he'd set out on, really wishing that he could get what he needed to get done. As he trotted along, he began to think.

Okay, explaining things to Twilight in a way she'd understand, without potentially getting us sent to subspace due to the fourth wall collapsing, is going to be hard. The green unicorn thought to himself, his eyes half-closing, his scowl still plainly visible on his snout. I mean, there's the whole fact that this universe is not by any stretch technologically advanced outside of cartoon convienience...things like ovens, refridgerators, those exist, but not computers, as far as I know.

His predicament just seemed to get worse the more he thought about it. Equestria wasn't nearly as technologically advanced as Earth, and he couldn't explain things he typically took for granted very well. Hell, even on Earth, explaining how YouTube works to his parents and grandparents was a challenge in and of itself, and they lived through the technological revolution. So explaining it to cartoon ponies was going to be a real challenge.

Well, I can't call them "cartoon ponies", given that to them, their pain is real, their stories are real. If something should happen to the three of us here, it'll be as though it were actually happening. Which it is. The former human continued his introspection, not really paying any attention to the world around him, his eyes firmly facing down. Anyway, got a little off-topic there. Twilight isn't stupid, but she will need the explanation if it isn't in a book. This is going to be hard without Pinkie to automatically find books for her. He found that sort of funny - a studious pony wasn't able to find a book, but a hyperactive party pony was pretty much able to snap on it.

As Corey trotted right along, he caught sight of his reflection out of the corner of his eye in a window. Not really paying any attention to what was inside of it, the former human took a good, long look at himself. He was definitely a green male unicorn, with his weight issue still very much intact. And his mane...well, he was never known for combing his hair when he rolled out of bed, and since he was on Spring Break, his mane, while clean, was in need of being brushed.

But it's not like I have thumbs to hold a comb right now! Corey thought to himself. Oh well. Time to move on. His mental train continued forward, as did his momentum, when suddenly, his thought pattern wafted back to something else from the series. Or rather, somepony else. Huh, if Rarity saw me right now, she would have a stroke...I checked my reflection in a window...

Halting his thoughts, Corey did a double take, and gulped. Looking deep into the second window of the building he just passed, he saw something. A pony model was being worked over, objects wreathed in a blue glow. Looking a little closer, he saw a white pony, with a finely curled purple tail and mane. To say this styling was anything less than extravagant would be an insult to the styling. The green unicorn on the outside immediately went into shock at seeing how close he came to being seen.

...Good job, Corey, almost got yourself seen by a fashionista when you don't have time for it... Corey thought to himself, turning away and taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. ...Wow, I'm really this nervous? It's not like I could possibly meet one of the members of the Mane 6 in a worse manner than Leo just did.

Corey opened his eyes, and took a quick glance in the direction of the boutique's window again. He saw a pair of royal blue eyes glancing in his direction, and his breath hitched. She looked away for a moment, going back to her work, but Corey knew he was seen. He acted as nonchalant about keeping an eye on the fashionista at work as possible, taking slow steps, knowing that if she started moving in on him before he could get to the library, there would be trouble.

It was an average day of work for Rarity until now. She had seen some bad mane days, even experienced a few herself, but she had never seen a case as bad as the one on the heavy-set green male unicorn outside her window. She tried to put it out of her mind, but now that she could clearly see him outside the window, seeming to be nervous about something, with his mane looking as though he'd just rolled out of bed....

It was bugging her to no end. Part of her wanted to go out and give him a tongue-lashing. That part became stronger when she realized he appeared to have a semi-permanent scowl etched on his face.

"Goodness...!" Rarity almost lost herself to this part, but soon, she realized she had to keep up an image. He couldn't be that unaware, but seeing him like this was bugging her to no end. She'd have to do something about at least the mane. She didn't know if what she was going to do was only going to worsen the scowl or make it at least somewhat better. The fashionista unicorn hesitated. There was just something about the pony outside, that nervousness blended with the scowl, the...asocial vibe she got from him...Something about him just seemed to be familiar. Only, it seemed to be much, much worse than whatever she was remembering.

I have a duty...going out in public with bedmane that horrid is a crime. The scowl is just insulting...he will develop frown lines...I must do something about his mane! I almost want to go out and scream at him for that alone, but... I must keep my wits about me. Rarity thought. She began trotting towards the door, trying to be as calm about the glaring imperfections about the colt's expression...

Though, he is at least a lovely shade of green...

Corey's sense of innate danger and scrutiny was going haywire. He looked back once more, and what he saw made his blood freeze for just a moment: she was on the move, towards the door. She appeared to be trying to keep herself composed. She had seen him trotting along in his condition. The former human immediately began to go into overdrive. Time and sound seemed to slow to a halt around him.

Gotta think fast, gotta think fast...! thought the green former human as he looked around for any means of concealment, knowing full well he couldn't gallop away without falling all over himself in the first ten seconds. Maybe even less. God, I'm this nervous! I need to get out of here before she tells me my scowl will mess up my face! Or something like that! Ugh! Stop thinking about what Rarity'll say and do something! You're just as bad as Spike in that department! Only without the huge crush!

He looked to the road ahead, and immediately dismissed any corners as a means of concealment. He wouldn't be able to run that far in his lack of physical condition. He looked to his flank, and saw the snowy unicorn drawing ever closer. Adrenaline now coursed through him. Corey could have sworn his blood was now purely made of the hormone now. His eyes were wide open.

Looking to his left, he saw trash cans. He could probably haul his fat ass in them, but he then dismissed this idea, as this action might be noticed by Rarity if he failed to be athletic enough to do so, and would undoubtedly incur more of her wrath with a trashy attempt to escape her brand of fashion justice.

Then he saw it: something that was still very much a long shot, but it could still work if he played his cards right and attempted to use cartoon physics. It was a cart with a bale of hay on the back of it. He wasn't sure where it was going, and in fact could take him in an entirely different direction if he wasn't careful, but Corey felt like he had a shot.

Clearly, he was playing too much Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker in the hours preceding his being sucked into Equestria. The green unicorn knew this, but he really didn't want to get worked over by Rarity right now. He had more important things to do.

Oh damn it, *I** just compared myself to Twilight!* Corey was forcefully reminded of the series premiere episode. Once he was done with his action, he knew that in the end, both he and Twilight would have at least attempted to escape from Rarity due to matters they deemed important taking precedence. Need to get into that haystack now!

Feeling lucky, and with the moment of truth drawing near, Corey cast a quick glance back, as time and sound began to resume. Rarity had her head hung, and turned away from him. She was clearly trying to compose herself again. Apparently, his bedhead was really pissing her off. Taking full advantage, Corey began trotting towards the haybale, at an increased speed with each single step he took.

He heard the "ding" sound, like you would hear if a business door were opened. Corey immediately took off at full speed, the adrenaline helping him in retaining control over his legs, and leapt mightily into the haystack, making sure to pull all extremities inside. Using his horn, he pushed the hay aside, to see a frazzled mare looking for him. As he did this, he realized something else.

Am I a pony, a human, or some weird combination of the two that just looks like a pony? His positioning inside the strawbox resembled a human's squatting position. He pulled his head back when Rarity appeared to look directly in his direction. Corey breathed a sigh in relief. Then, to his dismay, the whole "Twilight-Corey" comparison thing popped back in his mind again, particularly when he felt the cart beneath the hay start to move, in the direction he was heading.

Great. Now we both escaped from Rarity, and may well be technically trying to convince other ponies of a myth. Twilight had Night Mare Moon, which had physical proof to it. And I have to convince her I'm actually a human, somehow, despite the fact the only real physical proof I have is my total lack of magic. The question is, can I keep my confidence up long enough around her to admit it?

He felt the cart round the corner, and then pushed the hay aside again to look for the library, or at least a landmark he could recognize from the show as something close to the library.

Though, he knew a large tree would be hard to miss.

Rarity was disappointed in herself for allowing the colt with the messy mane to get away. For a big guy, he sure moved quick when he had a mind to. In fact, he almost seemed to vanish. But she knew he existed. Wherever he went off to, he must have been in a hurry. Her mind whisked her back to her first meeting with her friend, Twilight Sparkle. She had allowed her to fix her mane and tail, which had been poofed out dramatically. Then, Rarity remembered, Twilight had vanished on her when she was fitting her for dresses.

Something in her head clicked. This new pony with the messy mane, seemed to share some of Twilight's earlier qualities when she was first getting used to the concept of having friends. Only, those qualities seemed to be worse than usual. At least Twilight smiled and tried to be somewhat friendly, even if it was a little forced. This pony scowled, and seemed to be dodging ponies whenever possible.

"I wonder what has him so...unhappy." Rarity wondered to herself, as she began getting back to work. She began to hum, though the whole incident from just now began to bug her just a little bit.

I wonder if that pony and Twilight would be great friends. This pony probably just needs a little time to adjust to life here in Ponyville. He did seem nervous...maybe boutiques scare him... Rarity thought to herself. Whatever the matter is with him, I do get the nagging feeling I'm going to be seeing him again in town.

The snowy unicorn decided to push the bedmane incident to the back of her mind for the moment, and focused on her work. As with every other article of clothing she'd made, she would make sure it was as flawless as possible before moving on to the next item on her list.

And that is Chapter 3 reposted on this site. The original cut of this chapter had 20% more fat jokes. But because of those in this project telling me she was being "too mean", I cut them out.