Applejack was fixing herself something to eat after working out in the fields all morning. It was now around the middle of the afternoon, and she wanted to have some lunch before continuing her chores, as she was feeling quite hungry. Before she could do any of that, though, she heard a knock on the door.
Applejack opened up the front door to see who it was, only to see in front of her two strange pixelated beings, one big and green with closed-looking eyes, the other was small and pink with angry-looking eyes, and behind them was a big pixelated spaceship.
"Hello, Applejack. I am Ignignokt and this is Err," the green one greeted.
"I am Err," the small pink one chimed in.
"We are Mooninites from the inner core of the Moon."
"You said it right!"
"Our race is hundreds of years more advanced than your own."
"Y'hear what he's sayin'?!"
"Some would say that the Earth is our moon."
"We're the moon!"
"But that would belittle the name of our moon...which is the Moon."
"Point is we're at the center, not you!"
"Oh really, now? Sure, totally. I already had ta deal with a robot sayin' he's the Ghost o' Hearth's Warmin' Past and had ta regrow all the apples in mah farm because o' him! I do not need ta deal with weird creatures like you right now!" Applejack said angrily before she slammed the door in their face.
"Is your ego satisfied, Err?" Ignignokt asked his smaller friend.
"Damn no!"
"Me neither."
"Look at that!" Err pointed to the distance at a giant tree building in the middle of the town.
"We shall go to that tree for it is much cooler looking," Ignignokt declared as the two Mooninites walked in the direction of the castle.
In the Golden Oaks Library, Twilight was in the middle of teaching the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They were having their weekly "Twilight Time", experimenting with all kinds of things. The alicorn then heard a knock from the door, and left the three fillies to open it. When she did, she found the Mooninites standing on the other side.
Twilight's eyes went wide. "What are you?!"
"Hello, Princess. We are the Mooninites from the inner core of the Moon," Ignignokt greeted.
"You said it again, brother!" Err chimed in.
"You come from the Moon?! Are you associated with Nightmare Moon in any way?" Twilight asked.
"Why would living on the Moon be a nightmare? Our civilization is millions of times more advanced than your primitive magic race," the green Mooninite said.
"Our superior awesomeness is what gives people nightmares!" the small pink Mooninite exclaimed.
"But, if you've been living on the moon all this time, then how come we've never seen any signs of you?" the alicorn asked.
"Our culture has advanced beyond all that you can comprehend with one-hundred percent of your brain," Ignignokt answered.
"Actually, we already use one-hundred percent of our bra--" Twilight tried to say before the green Mooninite interrupted her.
"But it's still not enough! Our culture is so complex that your feeble three-dimensional brain cannot possibly percieve its complicated ways."
"That's right!" Err said.
"Our civilization has advanced past the need for houses."
"The rocks are our homes!"
"Or laws."
"Breaking the law!" Err sang.
"Or even a functioning society."
"Society blows!"
"Jobs have been entirely phased out of existence by our minds."
"We get checks from the government! And we spend it on beer!"
Twilight just stared at the two pixelated aliens with a confused face. Nothing about what they said about their society sounded believable in the slightest. But considering these were lifeforms she had never seen or heard of before, maybe their society did work that way and just sounded weird to her as a pony.
Twilight's mood then shifted back to excitement. "Ooohh! This is such a huge scientific discovery! I've simply got to tell Princess Luna about this! She spent a thousand years on the moon, she must know something!"
The purple alicorn then ran away to the upstairs of the library, repeatedly calling out "Spike!" as she ran, leaving the Mooninites alone with the three fillies.
"Your friend is a nerd," Ignignokt pointed out as he and Err approached the Crusaders.
"Yeah. On the moon, nerds get spanked endlessly with moon rocks," Err added.
"Why?" Sweetie Belle asked as she and her friends winced at what the Mooninites said.
"Because nerds are stupid!"
"So are y'all really from the Moon?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Yes, we are. It seems like you small mindless children are attempting to do such primitive scientific experiments. On the moon, our society is so advanced that we don't even need to learn anything," Ignignokt said.
"Or want to!" Err added with excitement.
"Education for us is something too low for even newborn babies."
"Learning is for poor people!"
"Well, that's not true. Education is important for everypony, and everyone," Sweetie Belle commented.
"Oh, you horses and your feeble three-dimensions," the green Mooninite said mockingly.
"What's wrong with it?" Scootaloo asked while glaring at the two aliens.
"Oh, nothing. It's cute. We have five."
"...t-thousand," Err added hesitantly.
"Yes, five thousand."
"Don't question it."
"Really? Because I'm only seeing two," Sweetie Belle said with an eyebrow raised.
"Well, that sounds like a personal problem," Ignignokt mocked again.
"Hey, that scooter over there looks pretty cool," Err pointed at the object on the other side of the room.
"Heh, y'like it?" Scootaloo asked with a smug smile as the fillies and pixelated aliens walked towards the scooter.
"We do, very much. Which is why we'll be taking it." Ignignokt took the scooter in his hand and he and Err quickly walked out of the library.
"Hey! That's mine!" Scootaloo shouted as she chased after them, her friends following behind.
The Mooninites somehow managed to outrun the Crusaders despite them being a lot slower than everyone else. The two pixelated moon aliens then came across two fillies, one that was light purple and wearing a tiara, while the other was grey and wore glasses.
"Greetings, fancy farm animals," Ignignokt said as he and Err walked up to the fillies.
"Ew! What are you two supposed to be?" Diamond Tiara exclaimed in disgust as she and her friend backed away from the aliens.
"We are visitors from outer space, here to bestow upon you our glorious technology," the green Mooninite explained. "Like this glorious piece of sophistication." Ignignokt held up the scooter for the fillies to see.
"That just looks like a regular scooter," Silver Spoon pointed out. She and Diamond Tiara looked at the aliens with skeptical eyes.
"It's not just any regular old scooter," Ignignokt reassured.
"It's a Moon Scooter!" Err said.
"It's like a regular scooter except it's special because we own it."
"We're special!"
"You could become very popular owning this and you get to flaunt your superiority over other by showing this off. Not even your dad could afford something as advanced as this."
"That's not true! My dad could totally afford something like that," Diamond Tiara shouted. "How much for it?!"
"We'll give it to you for free. Consider it payment for you to take it from us," the green Mooninite said.
"Yes! I'll take it!" Diamond Tiara grinned widely as Ignignokt handed her the scooter.
As Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon got up on the scooter and were about to ride it, they heard a voice shout at them.
"Hey! That's my scooter! Give it back!" Scootaloo and the Crusaders finally caught up to them.
"Your scooter is now hers, by way of our actions," Ignignokt said.
"That's right. The moon aliens chose to give the Moon Scooter to me, not you! Why would they ever give something so valuable to a bunch of blank flanks? See you!" Diamond Tiara mocked the three fillies as she rode away on her new scooter with Silver Spoon.
"Darn it! She's always messing with us!" Scootaloo said.
"Shoot her the bird!" the pink Mooninite suggested.
"Yes, give her the finger," the green Mooninite added.
"What are 'fingers'?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Oh, that's right. You horses have such an inferior number of digits that you can't properly express your anger."
"We tell 'er how angry we are all the time! She makes fun of us just because we haven't got our cutie marks yet."
"Oh, we can give you cutie marks, alright," Err said.
"Ya can?!" Apple Bloom and the Crusaders' eyes all lit up.
"Yeah, we give cutie marks to people all the time!"
"It's very easy. Not surprised your primitive horse minds don't understand that," Ignignokt mocked, but the Crusaders were too excited to listen.
"Can you show us?!" Sweetie Belle asked excitedly.
"Of course. Follow us."
"Uh...are you sure this is really gonna make us get our cutie marks?" Apple Bloom asked nervously.
"Of course. People use this to get their cutie marks all the time," Ignignokt said.
"And there's no magic required!" Err said as he held the tattoo pen in his hand.
The three fillies laid on the ground with their flanks raised in the air as Err slowly approached them with the tattoo pen.
"Are you sure about this?" Sweetie Belle asked. "We never heard about anything like this when it comes to getting our cutie marks."
"Everyone's just trying to hold you back from being totally awesome."
"They don't want you to know that the answer is right here!"
"Once this is over, every child in town will be jealous of your tattoos."
"What?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"I mean your cutie marks," Ignignokt corrected himself. "Err, commence the marking!"
"Uh...Ah'm not entirely sure about these cutie marks," Apple Bloom said hesitantly.
After the Mooninites finished tattooing the Crusaders' flanks, they now led them through the town, but the Crusaders did not seem as excited as they previously were.
"Yeah, what do they even mean?" Sweetie Belle asked as well.
Apple Bloom's "cutie mark" was simply a crude drawing of Ignignokt, Sweetie Belle's was a drawing of Err, while Scootaloo's simply said "ERR WAS HERE".
"It means that your destinies are to do whatever we say for all eternity, for we are your new masters," Ignignokt answered. "Err, give them the free cigarettes."
"We smoke when we got our marks!" Err said as he put a lit cigarette into each of the Crusaders' mouths.
"It makes you look cooler."
"Now no one will wanna mess with you!"
"And now that you are now our servants, we require some wine, and we want you to get it for us."
"But we don't have any bits," Sweetie Belle said.
"That won't be a problem."
At the store, the Mooninites and the Cutie Mark Crusaders all stood in front of an shelf full of wine bottles.
"Use your magic to levitate those wine bottles out of the store while the cashier isn't looking," Ignignokt instructed the unicorn filly.
"But that would be stealing!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed.
"It's not stealing if you need it, and we need it. So go get it!" Err ordered.
"On the moon, Sweetie Belle, we have advanced beyond rules. And manners."
"Indeed!"
"Do you understand?" the green pixelated alien asked.
"N-No?"
"I will spit in your face now," Ignignokt said as he and Err leaned in closer to the three fillies.
"Prepare to spit!"
The two Mooninites then repeatedly spit red pixels at the fillies' faces, who all screamed and put their hooves in front of their faces in an attempt to shield themselves.
"Now do you understand?" Err asked once he stopped spitting, while Ignignokt spit one more time just for good measure.
"No! This is wrong! And y'all are just a buncha bullies!" Apple Bloom shouted in anger.
"Yeah! And the cutie marks you gave us suck!" Scootaloo added.
"Oh, really?" Ignignokt asked mockingly.
Err suddenly jumped onto the shelf and dropped several wine bottles to the floor near where the Crusaders were standing, causing them to shriek in surprise, before grabbing two wine bottles for himself and his friend.
"Now we must go spread our advanced technology somewhere else," Err said as he ran out of the store with the wine bottles, with Ignignokt following behind him who has grabbed two more wine bottles.
"Move out."
"Yes, move out."
Over at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack barged into the dining room where her grandmother and big brother were, with panic and worry written all over her face.
"Big Mac! Granny Smith! Apple Bloom an' 'er friends got caught stealin' at the wine store!" the farm pony exclaimed.
Her two relatives gasped in surprise. "The wine store? What in tarnation were they doin' over there?" Granny Smith asked.
"Ah don't know, Granny. But Ah know somethin' ain't right about this," Applejack answered.
As if in response, the door to the outside suddenly opened, and the two pixelated aliens walked in.
"Scribbling explatives and crude drawings on another's books is a sign of trust...and friendship," the green one said.
"WHO DID THIS TO MY BOOKS?!" Twilight shrieked in terror when she found all the books in her library strewn on the floor, all with the pages ruined by endless crude drawings of the Mooninites and writings saying 'THE MOON RULEZ #1" riddled all over them.
"You two are behind this, aren't ya?! What did ya do ta mah sister?!" Applejack asked in fury.
"They just got busted, man," Err answered, completely unfazed by the farmpony's anger.
"For stealing and drinking and damaging store property," Ignignokt continued.
"Ah'm gonna go help 'em out. Ah'll deal with you two later!" Applejack snarled before she ran out the door.
"The hillbilly girl is angry," Ignignokt commented.
"Probably hasn't gotten enough action from her brother."
"Their degenerate ways amuse us. Now let's rob these hillbillies for all they have." The Mooninites started to run upstairs, but a frail old voice called out to them.
"Not so fast, ya varmints!" Granny Smith shouted. "Ah'll give ya a good lickin' once I get my hooves on you!"
"Well, try and catch us, grandma!" Err mocked from the top of the stairs.
"Your pathetic old Earth legs are no match for our superior Moon speed," Ignignokt mocked as well.
The Mooninites then ran to the upstairs floor and began ransacking all the rooms, though they did a lot more destroying than stealing. As they ran back to the stairs, Err grabbed a lamp, and when they reached the stairs he dropped the lamp on Granny Smith's head. Big Mac was too distracted by his grandmother that the Mooninites were able to run out of the house with nobody chasing them.
The Mooninites ran through the orchards, laughing to themselves at the mayhem they caused, only to be stopped in their tracks when Twilight and a larger blue alicorn appeared in front of them.
"There you are!" she shouted, neither her or the other alicorn looked happy. "I assume that it's you two who wrote 'THE MOON RULEZ #1' on all my books?"
"Because it does, Starbutt," Ignignokt replied.
"Well I've brought somepony who apparently has known you for quite some time. Meet Princess Luna, the one who raises the moon," Twilight introduced the alicorn beside her.
"I remember you two," Luna said, "All those years I was trapped on the moon as Nightmare Moon, you two never stopped tormenting me!"
"We don't remember any horse on the moon," Err said.
"You must be so insignificant that our minds do not even bother to store you into our memories."
"Enough! You have terrorized me for too long, and now you terrorize my subjects!"
Ignignokt suddenly pulled out a pixelated gun and pointed it at Luna. "Well if you've got a problem with that, you better take it up with Mr. Laser."
"Yeah, Mr. Laser!" Err interjected.
Ignignokt fired the shot, and a big brown pixel appeared heading in Luna's direction...at an extremely slow rate.
"Here it comes."
"Here it comes!"
"The explosion will be of extraordinary magnitude."
The so-called laser still has not reached Luna. The two alicorns just stood there staring at the brown pixel slowly moving towards them.
"Just hang on," Ignignokt said.
"It takes a while!" Err said too.
Once the laser did get close, Luna simply took two steps to her left and the pixel missed her completely. What she didn't realize, however, was that the laser hit a tree behind her and bounced back in her direction.
"Nice try, Mooninites. But now you shall taste the true power of the moo--AAHH!" Luna screamed as the laser pixel hit her from behind and she disappeared into thin air.
"Princess Luna!" Twilight cried out.
"We do whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times. Mooninites unite!" Ignignokt ordered as he and Err pieced themselves together like jigsaw pieces with him on top of Err's head. The two of them then pulled out four laser guns.
"No one can defeat the quad-laser."
"It is over now!" Err announced.
The Mooninites then fired their biggest attack, a pixel laser four times bigger than the one before, but it still moved just as slow as the previous one.
"The bullet is enormous! There is no escaping it."
"Jumping...is useless!"
Twilight simply rolled her eyes in frustration as she spread her wings and flew up into the air where the pixel couldn't reach her.
"Impossible! She is defying the rules!" Ignignokt cried.
"How about I show you a little laser of my own?!" Twilight shouted.
"Then show us the laser, we'd love to see i--" Ignignokt taunted before the alicorn blasted the Mooninites with a magical beam that came out of her horn, sending the two flying and screaming.
"Ship come in!" Ignignokt cried out, which caused their purple spaceship to appear, descending down to the ground, and the two aliens hurriedly got back up to board it. "Let us leave this primitive rock because there's nothing but farm animals here."
"Say goodbye, farm animals! Go eat grass or something!" Err taunted before Twilight blasted another beam which finally got the two of them to jump into the ship and fly away.
"Nerds!"
"Frickin' nerds!"
As the ship exited the planet, Ignignokt looked out the window down on the Earth and pulled out a middle finger. "I hope she can see this, because I'm doing this as hard as I can."
Back in Ponyville, Applejack managed to settle the whole issue with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and was now taking the three of them home.
"Ah'm sorry we got into trouble, Applejack," her little sister said sadly with her ears drooped.
"It's alright, Apple Bloom. That's why ya shouldn't go trustin' strangers like that. Ya never know what they're up to." Applejack and her sister hugged, and the other two fillies joined in.
"Now first things first, we need ta get rid o' those awful tattoos off yer flanks."
Princess Luna found herself in a very familiar environment. Grey barren rock all around, dark black sky, and the Earth in the sky. She was now on the moon.
"Oh no, not again..." she murmured to herself.
To make matters worse, right after she said that, a purple pixelated spaceship landed near her, and the Mooninites jumped out and walked towards her.
"What's up, Princess?!" Err shouted.
"Prepare for a moon spanking."
"Now show us your moon!"
Applejack walked through the orchard of apple trees, doing another usual day of chores. But if there's anything she's learned after everything that's happened, it's that days that appear the most normal are usually the ones that'll turn the weirdest, and she'd soon be proven right.
As Applejack walked, she began to hear a very familiar sound of fast-flapping wings, and another of something bouncing. When she looked in the direction the sounds, she saw exactly what she expected, a cyan pegasus and earth pony heading her direction.
"Hey, AJ!" Rainbow Dash greeted the farmpony once her and Pinkie Pie arrived in front of her.
"Hey yerself, RD, Pinkie. What brings ya here?" Applejack asked.
"Well, we just wanted to ask, AJ..." Rainbow hesitated, "D'ya grow things other than apples here?"
"Not too many, but yeah, Ah do. Why d'ya ask?"
"Pinkie and I were wondering...d'ya grow any pot?"
Applejack raised an eyebrow at her two friends. "Marijuana?"
"Whatever ponies are calling it nowadays, yeah," Rainbow confirmed. "We tried going over to Fluttershy's and asked if she could get Tree Hugger to get us some, but she said she's away somewhere outta town or something and can't send us any, and we really wanna smoke some right now!"
"So ya jus' want me ta help y'all get high?" the farm pony asked, still with her eyebrow raised.
"I-It's not just to get high! It's also to, uh..." the pegasus stammered, "We have bad glaucoma!"
"Then jus' go see the doctor."
"We did! He said we need to smoke some pot!" Dash exclaimed, her lying as clear as day.
"He also gave us these jelly beans to eat!" Pinkie suddenly pulled out a hoof-ful of jelly beans before stuffing them in her face.
"So d'ya have some or not?" Dash asked again.
"Rainbow, what kinda farmer d'ya think Ah am? Of course Ah don't grow any!" Applejack answered. She was not amused by the situation at all.
"Aw, man..."
"Ooh! Applejack! Do you wanna help us look for some? Maybe you can try some with us!" Pinkie suggested.
"Yeah! Why don'tcha join us, AJ?"
"Eh, sorry. But Ah don't wanna...get high on a work day," the orange mare answered.
"But every day is a work day for you, AJ!" Dash whined. "Ya gotta learn to lighten up a bit."
"Sorry, Rainbow. But takin' drugs ain't mah idea o' tryna 'lighten up'."
"It's just weed, AJ! Jeez, you're acting like we're gonna take something really bad!" The pegasus then turned to her pink earth pony friend. "This is hopeless, Pinkie. Where are we gonna find some pot now?"
Unbeknownst to them, a purple pixelated spaceship landed in the distance behind them, and out of it came two pixelated aliens, one big and green and the other small and pink, running in their direction.
"Why we have vast fields and amber waves of marijuana on the moon," Ignignokt, the big green Mooninite answered, somehow knowing the ponies' conversation.
"It's called moonajuana, boy!" Err, the small pink Mooninite, exclaimed.
"Shiz will fluff you up."
"I'm on it right now!"
"And he loves it."
"See that, AJ? These guys got some! And they're not even infected with my glaucoma!" Rainbow Dash told the orange earth pony, who was narrowing her eyes at the two pixelated aliens.
"We have something worse," Ignignokt said.
"Butt cancer! Butt crack cancer!" the other Mooninite exclaimed.
"And yeast infections."
"Yes!"
"Yeast Unleashed in the East."
"Check it!"
"Those aren't real diseases!" Applejack accused the aliens.
"Not anymore, Apple Horse."
"The moonajuana scared them out of existence!"
"And we have other diseases we need to prevent."
"That's correct!"
"So, y'know...still got to smoke."
Rainbow Dash turned to her friend again. "C'mon, AJ! Are ya gonna be a boring stick-in-the-mud and let the diseases eat away at me and Pinkie, or are ya gonna lighten up and join us as we smoke some sweet Mary Jane?"
"Moony Jane," Ignignokt corrected.
"Yeah, sure, Moony Jane."
"Be quiet, Rainbow. Ah know ya ain't got no diseases." Applejack then turned back to the Mooninites. "As fer you two, ya got some nerve showin' yer faces back 'ere after what y'all did last time!"
"Harsh, man. Where is the trust these days?" Ignignokt faked his hurt tone.
"AJ, don't scare 'em off!" Dash whispered to the farmpony.
"Quiet, Rainbow! Ya weren't there that time! These varmints are bad news!"
"But I wanna try moonajuana so badly! Please, can we, AJ? Can we?" Pinkie begged and looked up at Applejack with sad eyes.
Applejack just groaned. "Ugh, fine! You an' Rainbow do whatever ya want! Jus' keep me out of it! Don't say Ah didn't warn ya!"
"You two made the right choice. We are thought of highly by those without jobs," Ignignokt told the mares.
"Well, don't be surprised if Ah report y'all to the authorities!" the orange mare threatened.
"Apple Horse, we have hidden four grams of cocaine in your room," the green Mooninite said, causing Applejack's eyes to widen.
"We did?" Err asked his friend, attempting to be quiet but was still loud enough for the ponies to hear.
"No, we didn't do that, Err. But we would. And we will tell the pigs that when they arrive."
"Do the thing!"
Ignignokt then turned to the side until he was nothing more than a barely visible thin green line, due to his two-dimensional body. Err on the other hand, just rotated himself ninety degrees to the right, still as visible as he was before.
"The pigs will never find us!" Err spouted confidently, thinking he was as invisible as his friend was.
"For we are thin lines of deception."
"Deceptonomunon!"
"Err, no. Other way," Ignignokt finally tried correcting his friend.
"Deceptonoidus!" Err now just turned another ninety degrees to the right, only making himself upside down.
"Turn this way."
"Oh." Err kept turning the wrong way, only ending up rotating himself back to his orginal position.
"No, other way. Third..."
"Do you know how to do it, c'mon..." Err murmured under his breath.
"Hey, guys! When are we gonna smoke that moon pot? I need to cure my guacamole," Dash groaned. Even she knew that none of their threats needed to be taken seriously.
"Follow me, hippies. For we are the dope men," Ignignokt said and walked off.
"Because we wear corduroys!"
The Mooninites led Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie to the object of their desire. Applejack stayed behind because she did not want to get involved in any mischief that would inevitably be done by the two aliens. After following them for a couple of minutes, they finally reached what they were looking for. Rainbow Dash looked very skeptical, as what they were led to seemed to be nothing more than a pile of tires and logs. Pinkie Pie still looked excited, though.
"Is this it? How are we supposed to smoke this?" the pegasus asked as she took a closer look at the pile.
"Dude, it's so cool," Ignignokt reassured. "Show the ladies, Err."
Err walked up to the pile and began instructing the mares. "Alright, babe. Ya see this bong?" He lit up a match. "This is a bong. And here's how you hit it!" Err then threw the match into the pile, setting it on fire.
"Lower the Moon Bong," Ignignokt ordered. To who, neither of the mare knew.
Suddenly, a huge glass dome in the shape of Ignignokt's head descended down from the air, stopping just a couple of feet off the ground above the burning pile of tires and logs.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! It's moonajuana time!" Err announced with a dramatic flair.
"Then we shall stoke the flame with...moonajuana!" Ignignokt continued as he grabbed another tire out of nowhere and threw it into the burning pile.
The ponies took a long look at the pile burning in front of them inside the glass dome. "Ooohh, that looks like a big ol' tire," Pinkie Pie pointed out.
"Moonajuana grows in the shape of a tire!"
"Any dealer will tell you that."
"So burn! Burn the flame!"
"Stand by to revisit the Stone Age."
"Yeah. The Stoned Age," Dash chuckled.
"Pinkie Pie is diving in head first!" the pink mare exclaimed excitedly.
"Nuh uh, Pinkie! I'm the one with diseases!" Dash retorted with a grin.
The two mares ducked under the glass and stood on the other side, with the burning pile and under the glass dome.
"Aren't you guys gonna hit this too?" Pinkie asked the Mooninites on the outside of the glass dome.
"No, thank you. That's a poisonous tire," Ignignokt answered.
"What?" Dash asked.
"I mean we're already very high."
Rainbow didn't notice the lie Ignignokt told her, as she was now too focused on the "bong". The mares began inhaling the black smoke surrounding them deeply, causing them both to cough hard and uncontrollably, yet they were somhow still falling for the whole thing and enjoying it.
"Woah! This is pretty grea--" Dash began coughing hard, but still had a grin on her face. "I'm flyin', man! And I'm not even flapping my wings!"
"Yeah! This is pretty fun!"
"Gotta make sure not to inhale so fast! Gotta learn to hold it in...like the pros," the pegasus wheezed at the end of the sentence. "I know you can do it, Pinkie. Show me!"
"Sure thing, Dashie!" Pinkie said.
The pink earth pony mare inhaled the black smoke around her deeply, causing her to puff her cheeks. She held it in for about five seconds before blowing the smoke back out again.
"This is pretty great stuff..." Pinkie wheezed and coughed.
"Woah...that was really awesome, Pinkie..." Dash chuckled weakly, her and Pinkie's eyes began to droop and turn red, though not for the reason they thought.
"Hi, I'm high..." Pinkie joked, causing the two mares to laugh weakly. "This is awesome."
"Hey, Pinkie. Ya know what we should do? We should grab some instruments, take lessons, and then learn to play the most awesome rendition of Winter Wrap Up that anypony has ever heard in their life!"
"Why don't you jam on me, Dashie? Use that log over there. I'm not feeling anything right now, you can use me."
"Woah...great idea, Pinks."
Rainbow grabbed an unburnt log from the bonfire while Pinkie grabbed a small stick. The pegasus then began lightly hitting the log on the back of the earth pony's head, while the earth pony repeatedly hit the stick on the ground, creating a rythm, though it barely sounded like music at all, much less the song they were trying to play.
"Listen to that beat!"
"I'm sure feelin' the beat now!" Pinkie exclaimed.
The Mooninites watched the two mares from outside the glass dome, remaining mostly silent witnessing what was happening.
"This could go on for a very long time," Ignignokt said.
The two mares continued beating their sticks and log, making the rythm go faster, and Pinkie was stillf unfazed despite her head being hit by a log several times.
"Yeah! Sapphire Shores' got nothin' on us!" Rainbow exclaimed.
"We should call ourselves Pinkie and the Dash! Ooh! How about PinkieDash?! Or maybe Rainbow Pie?" Pinkie suggested.
"All those...sound really cool."
They continued playing for another minute or two, their rythm and harmony still sounding nothing like the song they were trying to play. After a while, Pinkie Pie spoke up again.
"Hey, Dashie, y'know what? Let's live forever."
"Woah..."
Rainbow Dash then collapsed to the ground, followed by Pinkie Pie, and the two mares passed out due to poisoning.
The Mooninites saw the whole thing transpire, and now decided it was the time to take action. "And now, we burgle," Ignignokt said.
The pixelated aliens ran back to the barn and jumped through a window, shattering it. Once they were inside, they looked for things they could try to steal.
"Okay, you grab the other end of tha--" Ignignokt was about to order Err, but stopped when he saw someone else in the room with them.
Applejack stood beside the window they crashed through, and was glaring hardly at the two Mooninites.
"Oh, hey there," Ignignokt innocently greeted.
"Yer gonna have ta pay fer that," the farmpony told the aliens with anger in her voice.
"It's cool, girl."
"Yeah, it's cool."
"No. It isn't," she said, glaring harder this time.
"Oh, it's not?"
"Well, we thought it was."
"No, yer gonna pay fer that window, or Ah'm repotin' ya to the authorities."
"Easy, sister! Don't harsh my buzz!"
Applejack turned away and started walking towards the door, which could only mean one thing.
"No, don't do that, man..." Err pleaded quietly.
"We'll leave you be, fair sister," Ignignokt said as he and Err jumped back out through the window they crashed through, which managed to make Applejack stop in her tracks.
Not long after that, a hose came through the broken window with black smoke coming out of it. Applejack eyed the hose, and could hear the snickering of the Mooninites right outside. That farm mare simply bent the hose, shutting off access, and this time the black smoke appeared outside the window, and she could hear the two aliens coughing.
"Must be a backdraft or something," Err whispered.
"The orange one sucks."
A while later, Applejack heard a knock on her front door. It was obvious who it was, but against her better judgement, she decided to answer it. As she expected, on the other side were the Mooninites, though they were wearning necklaces made from dry leaves, pine cones, and dead lizards, which were dripping wet for some reason, and Ignignokt held a third necklace in his hand.
"Apple Horse, we made you this."
"Check it out!"
"It's a nature necklace."
"It's coated with urine!"
"That we made drinking from a pure mountain stream."
"Organic!" Err added. As if the materials the necklaces were made of weren't enough to turn Applejack off from wearing them, that extra piece of information guaranteed that she would stay as far away from them as possible.
"Let us put our differences aside and throw down mighty," the green Mooninite invited.
"Oh, ya mean like them?" Applejack pointed at the two mares passed out inside the glass dome they called a 'bong'.
"Oh, they're just getting...jiggy with it."
"No thanks."
"Come on, baby. Don't be a stick-in-the-ass."
"Yeah, c'mon, girl! Rock out with us, girl! Come on and go roooccckkk!" Err sang.
"Out here in nature."
"Rock and roll! Rock and roll!" Err continued singing to himself.
"Away from from your possessions which are of value," Ignignokt finished what he was trying to say.
"So that's yer plan, huh? Get me so high so that ya can take all our stuff," Applejack stared down at the aliens.
"We won't do that," Ignignokt said innocently, only to get the door slammed in his and Err's face.
The Mooninites threw away the necklaces and went back to the Moon Bong, and they saw someone else there this time. Outside the glass dome was a white unicorn with a fancy purple mane, who was tapping her hoof curiously at the glass dome, seeing the two unconscious mares inside whose forms are obscured by all the black smoke.
"Fashion Horse, do you want to get a taste of our famous moon weed?" Ignignokt asked the white mare as he and Err walked up to her.
Rarity looked at the Moon Bong again before turning back to the aliens. "Is that what this is? Of course not! Behavior like that is unbecoming of a lady! I am not an addict!"
The mare suddenly shifted her eyes and looked around, trying to make sure no one else was listening. "I mean...I wouldn't mind doing it with my friends in there. That's always the best. Especially after a hard day's work. Gotta do something to clear my my mind. This is like a big hookah, right?"
"Sure. If you want a taste, just stick your head under there," Ignignokt instructed, which is what Rarity did.
"We're gonna get high tonight, darlings!" Rarity cried out energetically once she was inside the dome with the two passed out mares. "Oh, you won't believe how much I need this after the day I've had! This stuff smells awful but I think the effects are kicking in!" the mare began coughing loudly.
While the white unicorn was distracted, the Mooninites ran over to the Carousel Boutique and burst in through the windows.
"All this is ours!" Err announced as he and Ignignokt observed all the things that were in the boutique.
The pixelated aliens remained quiet and still for a few seconds before Ignignokt broke the silence. "I don't see anything I like, Err."
"Yeah, me neither."
"Burn it to the ground so that others may not have it either!" Ignignokt ordered, and Err immediately obeyed as he began setting the Boutique on fire.
Back at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack had finally reported the entire thing to Twilight and brought her over to see what was going on. The two mares observed the giant glass dome filled with smoke and the two unconscious ponies inside, while one more was still rambling and coughing to herself, oblivious to anything around her.
"Oh my, how long have they been in there?" Twilight asked.
"Ah'm not sure. Quite a while, Ah'd say. Don't know about Rarity, though, Ah jus' saw her now too."
Just at that moment, the Mooninites returned, and were met with two angry glares from the princess and the farmpony.
"So you two are back, huh?"
"Did ya have yer fun?"
"Yes we did. Thanks for asking," Ignignokt answered, as if the two mares in front of his weren't fuming with anger.
"C'mon, girl, you sure you don't wanna hit that?" Err pointed back at the Moon Bong.
"Yeah, we're sure," Twilight answered with a deadpan manner.
"Can we go to your place? Play with your things?" Ignignokt asked the alicorn.
"No."
"Haarrsshh."
"Why do you two keep trying to mess with ponies? There's so many more things to do on this planet!" Twilight told them.
"Oh, really? Like what?" Ignignokt asked.
"A lot of things."
"Well, maybe you can teach us. We didn't have...parents growing up."
"You two didn't have parents?" Twilight asked.
"No."
Twilight's eyes shifted from glaring, to having a more sympathetic look. "Wow, that's...I'm sorry to hear that."
"Ah know the feelin'. It's not makin' me any less angry at ya, but Ah know the feelin'," Applejack said, still having a stern look despite her expression having softened.
"I never did learn to steal and fight or drink the right way," Ignignokt said, before Err began telling about himself.
"My dad left home when I was three. He told my mom he couldn't take it. 'It' meaning me. And he was the alcoholic!"
"Moonaholic," Ignignokt corrected.
"Whatever, I mean dependent on moonahol. Then one day, my mom dropped me off at summer camp and she said 'See you later! Forever!' and she just drives off! Ever since then, I-I've just been depressed, everything I do is for attention, that's why I steal, I mean I stole this! What am I gonna do with this?" Err said as he grabbed the sewing machine he stole from Rarity's before throwing it away. "I just really...y'know, I just really miss my dad...and I don't know where my mom went...and...and...no one really loves me, man. That's what makes me cry..." Err whimpered and sobbed as the confession came out of him, his pixelated face still remaining the same expression it had always been despite the emotions he was feeling.
Twilight wiped a tear from her eye and began smiling warmly at the Mooninites. "I'm really glad you told me. That's the first step to fixing your problems. Maybe instead of stealing and bullying others, you should instead try to devote your time to helping others and try to make friends. If you do that, you won't feel so lonely anymore."
"We know that," Ignignokt said. His smug self returning to him and Err.
"We've done that."
"And we will."
The Mooninites walked over to their spaceship and hopped in, and Twilight and Applejack watched as it flew off into the sky. They then turned their attention back to the giant glass dome with the three mares inside still choking on the poisonous black smoke.
"So, uh...when does the 'getting high' part start?" Rarity coughed out.
Twilight and Applejack looked at each other. "We should probably help those three out, huh?" the orange mare asked.
"Yeah, we should." As Twilight walked over to the dome, she looked in the distance and noticed something. "Hey, is the Carousel Boutique on fire?"
Months have passed since Twilight and her friends last saw the Mooninites. They were now relaxing in the spa, enjoying some hooficures and massages, while Rarity and Rainbow Dash were checking the newspapers. Rarity was very distressed when she saw her boutique had burned down to the ground, but luckily it didn't take long for it to be rebuilt and business to start again. That did leave a very sour taste in her mouth regarding the Mooninites, not that anypony blamed her.
Rarity's eyes widened as she read the headline of the papers. "Girls! You must see this!"
"What is is, Rarity?" Twilight asked.
"It says here that many ponies throughout Equestria are receiving large amounts of treasure that is being handed out for free by two strange creatures called the Mooninites! Looks like those two miscreants really did turn their lives around," Rarity smiled, genuinely impressed by what she read, despite her still being angry with them.
Twilight felt very proud too. She was glad to heard that what she told the Mooninites got through to them and they were now focusing on helping others instead of themselves. That didn't last long, though.
"Woah! You gotta check this out too, Twilight!" Dash called out, and Twilight leaned in to see what was on Dash's newspaper. "It says here that the Canterlot Treasure Vault mysteriously went empty overnight, and that the authorities still don't know who did it!"
It only took a second for Twilight to put the pieces together, and when she did, her happiness disappeared and her face sunk into her hooves.
"Aw, man..." she moaned quietly.
