Pretending to be Who Now?

by Squids_Dont_Smoke_Cigars

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Death, Narcotics, Gore, Comedy, Shining Armor, Equestria Girls, Flash Sentry, Main 7 (EqG), Profanity, Big Macintosh, Violence, Crossover
Length: 3146

3 slightly incompetent cops who were way over their heads get sent somewhere new.

The Contention Boys were over their heads to say the least when they were thrown into the hidden world of eldritch spells, time travel guns, and a body switching radio. So much happened in such little time but they grew, or atrophied depending on who you ask on stealing your father's body or gaining a cocaine finger.

Now after their final loop, after getting eaten by that black muck, after a sudden movement in their confrontation with those worms. They find themselves instead of their little hometown of Contention with oddities and prophesies instead in a town of people with weird names and odd things happening.

Why are people calling them Flash Sentry, Big Mac, and Shining Armor instead of Keith, John, and Clark? Why are they so much younger or at least Clark. Why does Keith still have memories of being Silas Cole? How will these 3 react and survive in this place? And how will the others react to these loons? Hopefully not with a gun or with spells that peel themselves apart.

Also to be clear characters are based off of the podcast PTBP or at least what I could remember.

Published 2024-03-04 21:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-04 21:00:00 UTC

Keith: Arrival and Assault

Keith POV:

On my knees I was looking up at a sight that sent chills and wrecking clumps of fear through my mind and body making me. After killing that Gigantpificas I thought it was over I truly did. I wanted all of this to be done and hell I even thought this would be a good ending with Fergy here maybe we could rekindle our relationship as brothers. But my own self had to remind me in this chaos sea of silver and shing radiant waters it wasn't. Literally he sawed off his leg with the buzzsaw launcher he got from the Arena tied himself to the saw intending to send himself flying through the air back to the ground. Didn't work but it was a good idea just with bad execution.

Everything and everyone were silent. Actually, looking around I saw that everyone was moving and doing stuff mostly running around like chickens screaming. I just couldn't hear them for some reason. Those old timey guys especially with how they were running about and trying to find reason out ways to live by how they were screaming and debating with each other.

But Clark and his old counterpart were fighting back. In the air Overseer was sending out blasts and waves of energy with his right arm even momentarily grabbing and ripping out chunks of the silverly ground and propelling it upwards at supreme speed the clumps of land mass simply blinking upwards. And with his left he restrained a pair of Myriads with rope of light their odd lanky and lipless being struggling in the grasp.

Clark was doing something odd. He had his arms raised up high with his eyes closed and a focused look on his face. Or as much as a focused face as I can infer from the slightly dimming glowing emanating from his face just like old him. I wondered why he was doing nothing.

Then it happened.

A sudden and great force blasted out from him firing upwards.

Hesitantly I looked up to follow the attack until I had to look at IT. Worms' terrible terrible "worms". The extra dimensional worms that Clark said stole energy from people to the point of death. Thousands upon hundreds of thousands of those worms high in the sky blanketing the horizons in black joined together into a dense wall of death made up of odd flesh and teeth descending in odd intervals of speed down to eat us all.

And Clarks blast knocked them back. That confused me why did it not do anything was Clark not trying hard enough? It didn't hurt them no just put them backwards.

I realized then what he did. He delayed it! Of course, if we can keep them at bay, we could whittle down their numbers until their not a threat.

Realizing that Clark was delaying the count down until our death I looked around to see what I could do. Sending rocks up would damage them some but would do nothing for the majority. If we delay them more, we would have more time to think of something to use like the silver sea. Wait that's it!

Delaying them would be great. But how? Pushing them back would just redo what Clark did. But increasing the distance needed to travel should do it.

I put my hands onto the silver floor before channeling that feeling of Unnatural that same sensation of odd energy and the same thing present when those chants were spoken for spells except instead of being filtered through speech it was simply raw. And so, my intentions were channeled and spoken to that undulating oddity of the world.

Roll:69(House rule is it being a Crit): Rec is 93 and below as is Cthulhu and Delta Green standard: And it was answered. The surrounds we were all standing around immediately was greeted with walls around us my magic having imbedded our area deep into the ground giving us even more time.

With time secure I looked to see what the others were doing. Off to the side I saw John hugging his uncl-

Lost %# Sanity Food Love gained from not having eaten correctly for a while.

I woke up with a start bolting upwards gasping for air my body soaked in sweat and skull pounding.

Search Rec: 67 Roll: 31: Looking around from my sitting position I saw that I was in a alleyway between two buildings facing a dead end and that it was dark. A great and beautiful and plentiful dark that surrounded me. Getting up from my position I grabbed my forehead pausing when noticing the odd groves around my forehead to my left cheek. Feeling around them, I realized they weren't the scars from when I got plates put into me. I traced my finger around it noticing the groves made up letters. After that I traced over them again muttering and repeating what the letters were and what they made.

Alert Rec: 60 Roll: NAT 100 Crit Fail: "F-O-O-L. Fool" 'This man is a fool' the branding that few old west Contention residents got in the past with few people getting one with only fool. Including myself from when I was the future Mayor of Contention. But the placement of it is odd usually its put in the middle of the forehead and I saw it was on my forehead in the sea. So why is it now off? And what else is off?

At that I looked at my fingers and noticed that some of my fingernails were missing counting them 5 nails were gone just like when that spell in the bunker in the lake popped them off like corn. My left hand was missing the pinky, middle, and thumb with my right matching with the pointer and ring missing. And just past my fingers were my clothes instead of my outfit from the city was a pair of mismatched pristine suspenders and belt and a pair of dirty trousers and a formal white button up an odd fusion of my outfits as cop and inventor. Feeling the pockets nothing was in them.

"Sir?" A voice suddenly said throwing me out of my introspection on my body and clothes and instead into a new arrival who was shining a light to me illuminating my back and causing me to look at my shadow on the wall in the alley.

"Ah Sir?" No scratch that 2 new arrivals and their voices are mudded a bit maybe im still in shock.

What am I supposed to do? Wait 2 of them and im a cop! But their location could be tricky depending on were they are from me. So I just need to listen to their feet and voice.

Alert Rec: 60 Roll 74: "Sir, are you ok?" The first voiced asked before leaning in and shuffled closer to me "Can you hear us?" they asked. Despite my best I couldn't find out how close they were to me from my migraine.

"Can they-" The second voice started to ask before I abandoned my combat idea as I couldn't hear their location either.

Unarmed Rec: Unnecessary from sneak attack against non-trained opponents: In a blur of movement, I whirled around my eyes already adjusted a bit to the dark enough to see their outlines before grabbing and then kneeing the owner of the first voice causing them to drop their flashlight hitting the ground plunging everything back into beautiful darkness.

"WHa" the second one shouted halted in place by their fear before turning to try and leave with a yelp as I looked to them, but their move was made too late as I grabbed them by the shoulder and turned them to face me. With a punch they don't go down immediately instead jettisoning teeth out of their mouth and putting them into kneeling position. With a grunt I grabbed them by the head gripping hair before I beat my fist back into their head 5 times before finally letting go as I feel them go limp.

As I stood there in glory on beating 2 opponents, I realized my hand was wet with blood from the second so I crouched down and wiped my hand on their jacket before my stomach growled.

Search:NN(Not needed): After the sound clung to air I riffled my hand through the pockets of both of them spending a few minutes checking pants and jackets. As I do so I pull out, some bandages for some reason and 2 wallets with a few loose pieces change and bills. Knowing that cards could be tracked, and people could ask about why pictures don't match I pull out the money and made sure there wasn't any hidden pockets or wedges in the wallet. Coming out of the alleyway was (68,43) a fun 111 dollars and (71) cents shoved into my pockets.

Walking out and into the slightly illuminated peopleless streets a sudden chill ran through me as the night's winds and lack of heat hit me causing me to shiver for a moment.

Search & Unnatural Rec NN and 93: 84: Luckily there was a shop near by a plane thing owned likely by some average family or whoever. I quickly looked over the mannequins in the display window and then with a quick feel of Wrong I swipe my hand and a hoodie was in it. Putting the thing on and raising the hood to hide my face if those 2 were to look for me I was quickly rid of the cold.

Unknowing of where I was, I walked around looking for a place to eat slowly going from bare shops closed for the night. To more active if only slightly part of where I was. Looking around more I could see that this place was City a nice place of suburbia.

HUMINT(Human Intelligence) & Alert Rec 50 & 60 Roll 18 and 52Unnatural 69 CRIT: Just from the odd appearance and look at the people living hereand weak pulse of magic I could tell that none of them have come close to seeing the wild shit of the world and the place was normal as can be with a smidgen taste of something odd. Meaning something supernatural was here but its presence was weak meaning no Black Residue to eat people. And more relevantly it meant that the big wigs likely don't bath in the blood of orphans fighting each other. So that's nice.

After half an hour of walking I saw it. A fast food burger place. I grabbed some bills and put it in my jacket for quicker access.
HUMINT Rec 60 Roll 80: Walking in I made my way over to menu placed by the wall quickly scanning through the options I find and select what I want before walking to the counter having to be behind an older lady as she took her order. After her order was done, I walked to the front the teen girl at the front looking tired and uncaring.

"Hi" I greeted "I would like 3 bacon cheeseburgers, 2 large chocolate milkshakes. and fry's" I told her as she sorted the register.

"That could be sorted into a family meal if you want helps save some cash and gives a large soda" she informed me as she typed the meal into the register before muttering something about a Fleet Foot and how they both had the shift and not just her. A large soda as well as saving money? What a steal! This would have made living in my old hotel room infinitely easier if food was this cheap.

"That will be 43.97 sir is that al-" she started to say before pausing when she looked up from the register her eyes going wide a bit. "Flash?" she whispered just barely enough for me to hear as she looked at me through the hood.

"Im sorry what's wrong something on my face?" I asked as I pointed my finger at myself.

"N-no sir is this all?" She said hesitantly.

"Yes I would love this meal haven't eaten in a while." I shared with her before she gave me my receipt and rushed into the back. To assemble my meal. Odd she didn't ask for my money. Grabbing the bills from my jacket I grabbed a twenty and a ten having to sort through the bills for a pair of fives and easily using the 8 ones I had to make a crisp 44 bucks. I sorted them in order of value and then folded it up placing it on the counter. In the amount of time needed to sort my cash she was already done having done it in record speed compared to the last customer.

"Oh thank you." I said to her as she hands me my tray before making my way over to a vacant table. Sitting down facing away from the counter and away from others I took off my hood and then proceeded to eat my burgers. Unwrapping the first one I stuck it into my maw. The greasy but delectable red meat, and sweet and salty bacon began dancing in a union with onions, the bread, and the ketchup and small amounts of mustard across my tongue. Giving me a simple enjoyment I've been robbed of for the past couple days from the insanity of the week or so. Finishing my first one I grabbed my milkshake to help loosen my throat back up for another burger drinking and gulping the drink down in a single go gripping and crushing the paper cup.

After finishing the dense but savory drink and even opening it up to look for remnants I grabbed my second burger this time taking my time with finishing it. By the time im halfway done however the desire for a drink hits, I decide to go for my soda as it was large it could contend with my final burgers, and I could drink the milkshake on the road. But I realize what happened. I didn't get a soda so I didn't fill it up from the dispensers! Oh bother.

Luckily It seemed the girl also realized this as she sprinted over and quickly gave me a cup stammering "SOrry Sir Ididnt givethis toyou butdont worry refills are free!' as quickly as she could eyes shut before opening her eyes to look at me for my response. As I went for a word she yelped in surprise before running back with a "Sorry!" to the counter. Sorry past the counter and into the toilets.

What the hell got her like that? I wondered before looking at myself in the window of the fastfood place. What the Fuck?! My appearance was far more different than before. Instead of a mid 20 something youthful man was a kid. A boy barely out of his mid teens. It was me when I was in high school, I realized back when I was more semi confident when my brown hair was richer in color. Or when I dyed it blue and kept it spikey. My scars were still there the appearance of mirrored surgical scars running across my face was still there and I knew the same had to be for the others like my chest. That and alongside my new FOOL brand must have made me look odd and insane I realized.

It keeps happening. Sighing I stood up and made my way to the soda dispenser before realizing she gave me an extra cup grabbing both of them, I filled them with lemonade and iced tea. Walking back to my table I grabbed my still wrapped burger and shoved it in my jacket pocket were there was no food. Next, I realized that I only have 2 hands but 3 drinks and a open burger.

Unnatural Rec 93 Roll: With a pull of Wrong I grabbed my lemonade and shake with a Star Wars force like grab and used my hands to walk out with a Ice tea in hand and a burger for me to snake on while I walked out.

Walking around some more I found myself in a park with a perfect sitting spot. A bench was there but the lamppost next to it broke. Never mind the thing turned back on. Walking backwards from that disappointment I went back and looked around for anywhere dark before looking up and realizing I could go for the roofs.

Unnatural Rec 93 Roll 83: With another Grasp of Dont Belong I was on a building roof a low 2 storie one so I didn't freeze and so I sat down. Taking my last bite from my second burger I threw it against those little walls the roof had instead of rails for decoration. I moved over and put my head on that wall thing to look up like I was lying in bed. Taking my last burger out it was kinda cold but it didnt matter to me as I ate it while drinking on the tea it running out fast and then joining the wrapper before that too was joined by another wrapper.

Sighing at the absence of another food item my stomach still wasnt satisfied maybe something else tomorrow could solve it. I drank my lemonade looking above bathing in the sky and its glorious black like it was Clarks Wheel of Fortune.

Oh shit Clark! Oh shit John! Eh they can handle themselves. We fought goo and fish people before what's a relatively normal town. Besides we died a few times.

I wonder if the others are here too or out in another city and if their doing good? Hopefully there fine. On that note after watching the black sky for longer however I realized it was getting late likely from how long ive been up and how long its been dark so I closed my eyes. Intending to see whatever the hell was going to meet me tomorrow and meet it head on hopefully to see my friends again.

Oh I still have a milkshake I better finish it. Might as well watch the sky as well.

Author's Note

I make actual rolls btw and yes somethings don't need rolls outside of combat and social interactions.

Also I modded Keith a bit as it will be explained latter and because his modes should have given him something beyond cocaine and flavor text.

Also yes Unnatural usually isnt the magic skill but PTBP uses rule of cool and stuff.

Hope you guys like it and if you guys know any better correct me on mistakes on Keiths stats and events.

And dont worry Keiths/Alt Flash Sentry assault leads into something. After all who did he beat into a pulp?