Purgatory: The space between heaven and hell. Some don’t believe in the bullshit that it is. Some don’t believe for the fear of where they’re going, oblivious to the fact that there’s something much worse than heaven or hell, which is being stuck in an endless void, devoid of all whim, all that provides pleasure. Now, I never believed in any of the preaching I heard on the street, flying by the church, on the way to work. They kept telling me that if I didn’t repent my sins now, I’d go to hell. I should have believed them. I was ignorant through to the end, when i fell asleep during a thunderstorm, in a field, in a tree, the worst place to be during a thunderstorm. Everypony knows that’s where lightning is most likely to strike! Except me, the one and only Rainbow Dash, the “Untouchable” weather pony. I was such a fool! I thought I could survive anything, but I ended up being killed by LIGHTNING for the Celestia’s sake. This isn’t like the movies, ending up in a hospital bed, friends and family to say their goodbyes. I was killed instantly. And I was…
...Falling…
Through an endless whiteness, slowly getting grayer… then blacker… then a previously unseen shade of black so dark it started taking in light, at such a high rate that i became blind, so I closed my eyes, and began to scream, losing consciousness on impact with the ground. Only to be brutally awakened by a black and red ailcorn, with black wings and a black horn stained crimson by years upon years, centuries upon centuries of new victims damned to this maniacal place. Blood red sky gave everything an evil glow. Here, everything’s that shade of disgusting red that you’d only expect in a bad dream. But believe me, this isn’t any dream. The buildings have no lights and are in a constant state of disrepair, with shadowy beings with white glowing eyes cast to roam the streets here endlessly. I guess that’s what I’m doomed to be for the next eternity…
“This is purgatory; the world where you pay for your sins in the living world.” The blood red godly ailcorn boomed.
“B-B-But why am I here?” I whimpered.
“Irrelevant. This is where you will stay until you have paid for what you have done.” The ailcorn said in a slightly more threatening tone.
“WHAT HAVE I DONE?” I cried.
The ailcorn then hit me hard, sending me flying, into the side of the massive shady buildings.
“You do NOT interrupt me, mortal.” The ailcorn fumed.
“I am Blood Red, and I control this dimension. I am the god of Purgatory. Before you can interrupt me again, there is little chance of escape. To do so, you need to complete 5 tasks, each more difficult than the last, both physically and mentally. Each is designed to tear you apart. If you can survive these tasks, you will be granted entry to heaven.” The ailcorn said without a change in expression, well rehearsed and unchanged over the course of countless centuries.
“But, if you fail, you will be damned to serve, into eternity. You will be absorbed by the source of power, the core. It takes all unworthy souls, those who have committed such heinous crimes that they’re unfit for here. The innards of the core is what you mortals call Hell. You should be happy you’re here, not inside the giant metal sphere, forced to maintain gears, constantly dripping molten oil, always welcoming the blood of an unfortunate klutz to trip and become an addition to the cauldron of burning lubricant. What happens after you die in there is fascinating, really. Your soul separates from your loaned body here, to wander throughout the world here, with all of your worldly fears tormenting you at every bend, until you dissipate into nothing.” The ailcorn finally finished his explanation, taking a seat next to two of his shadowy guards, dark figures with no distinguishable features apart from glowing yellow eyes and a menacing outline.
“Your first task is to retrieve a talon from the griffin guarding the gateway to Heaven. You have 24 hours. If you complete the task, bring the talon to the Circle of Stones, in the center of town. You will be supplied with a constant compass, with a constant arrow pointed towards your first objective. You will receive no more assistance at any point in your journey.” The ailcorn concluded, equally as bored as he was when he began.
“Oh, and one more thing,” The ailcorn began with a smirk,” If you perish, you will get 2 more chances to complete your tasks. No more, no less. If you choose to give up, you are to request me, and I shall escort you to the core. You may now begin.” And with that, the ailcorn disappeared in a cloud of unnaturally dark smoke.
Not smoke.
Energy?
Let’s go with that.
I look at the compass, only to be deterred, when the gyroscope like silver object orbiting my head was sticking straight up, pointing towards a sea of black clouds, and a blood red sky, like looking at the surface of a blood pool. After a great deal of flying, there was a small set of the black clouds spiraling to a golden door, lightening until it reached the holy gateway. Guarding the gateway was a rather large griffin, easily triple my size. Something doesn’t seem right. I…KNOW…this griffin…
“…Gilda?” I said in utter disbelief.
“Why do you call me by my granddaughter’s name??” The great griffin screeched, filled with rage.
“I knew her, went to school with her, now give me your talon!” I said all too arrogantly.
“Why should I do that for you, you’re just an insolent little Pegasus!” The great griffin scoffed.
“Because, I need it to get into heaven, now give it!” I impatiently yelled,
“If you’re this much of a daft, insolent, punk, then why should I lend you a talon? You don’t deserve this!” The griffin, disgusted and filled with hatred, scoffed again and turned its back to me.
“You’ll clearly corrupt the pure society that is Heaven. You will never get in.” The griffin then took off, insulted by my “insolence.”
I quickly got on the chase, but it was becoming little more than a spec on the horizon. I was just about out of ideas, when the little light bulb above my head hit 120 watts’ worth of power.
“I can wait for it to go back to its post, in front of the gate!” I said to myself, feeling cockier than ever.
And so I waited hours for the massive griffin to fly back, behind a cloud, just out of obvious view. I had the best view of the direction that the griffin came from, if only I knew it took a different route, and soon enough…
“Hello, you daft little punk.” The great griffin said, scaring me a quarter mile into the air. (Not really.)
“H-H-How did you find me?” I stammered in disbelief.
“Simple. Air traffic forced me into making a slight detour, and I find an ignorant little fool, trying to stake me out.” The griffin said, showing the slightest hint of arrogance.
“Now… let me assist you in your little “Quest.”” The griffin took a step forward and screamed…
“HERE YOU GO!”…as it drove a talon straight through the center of my forehead, sending me plummeting, through the clouds. I regained consciousness about 200 meters up, and quickly recovered, with a serious head wound. The talon pierced the skull, and was stuck, like a nail driven deep into wood. I tugged at it, but screamed and twitched in one sickening motion. It lodged itself into my brain, pressing against my brain controls. I’ll need help with this…wherever I can find it...
…And then I saw it…
“A woodshop!” I squealed to myself, as if someone was there to be equally excited about such a small thing. I walked in through the front door, which was colder than the pond during the winter, and discovered the person behind the counter to be a grey, emaciated, ghostly figure, polishing a tiny rocking chair.
“Maaaaay I heeeelp yooou?” The semi transparent being said to me, in the slightly depressed stereotypical ghost’s voice.
“Can you pull this talon from my head? It really hurts, and I can’t find anyone else to help me.” I said, fearful for what it might do to me.
“Suuuuuure.” The apparition said as it pulled a small pair of pliers from an aluminum toolbox.
“Heeeere we gooooooooo.” The slightly increasingly depressed sounding ghost said as he gripped the talon with the pliers, giving a sharp yank, to reveal a small hole from where the talon was removed.
“Can I have a towel? The hole may become infected, harboring mutant egg-laying mini-dinosaurs that shoot lasers, or something.” I said, slightly worried said invasion may take place, given my situation. Even so, the removal was pretty painless, I wonder why…
“Thanks, mister!” I said, bolting through the door, on my way to the so called “Circle of Stones,” whatever that is. After a short while, I saw it. A colossal monument, circular, made of obsidian, with inner and outer rings. In the center is a small altar, with a small slot in the center, just big enough for the talon.
“Perfect.” I sighed, as I approached the altar. I inserted the talon and…
“SHINK!”
A wire trap was hooked to the slot. A fine twine severed my head at the shoulders, plopping to the ground, looking towards the limp beheaded body that was mine. Everything went black and when I opened my eyes I was…
…Falling.
Through the all too familiar darkness, through the light consuming blackness, and hard onto the ground, somehow more painful than last time.
“You have two more chances.” The familiar voice of my captor said to me, loud and clear, from nowhere to be seen.
“Your second task is to retrieve my golden platter from the arena. Simple task, if you’re a fast flyer. Compass, calibrate.” The disembodied voice said to me, before I could get the chance to question what the hell was going on. The little gyroscope orbiting my head was pointing to my southwest. And with that, I was off, to the southwest, towards Celestia knows where, to retrieve some damn plate, which that hell horse will probably use to snort pixie dust. This game’s getting fun! (Not.) After a lot of pissing and moaning, I found myself outside a massive limestone bull ring. As I approach the solid oak doors, they swing open, revealing a small pedestal with a golden disc on a plate stand. This is almost obviously a trap, so I look down, noticing a long line of tripwires. Figures. I pull out my scissors, and carefully cut the first tripwire. Bad move. As soon as I cut the first one, they all lose their tension, revealing a massive swinging axe, swinging through the entry at regular intervals. I thought I was doomed until I got my best idea since arriving in this backwards world. I would time the blade, and in between swings, I would make my move through the doorway. As I made my move, the axe was just past me, readying for another potentially lethal swing. I ran, as fast as I could through that doorway, and ducked behind the doorsill, axe hot on my tail. It missed, thanks to its single axis, and it not being sentient. As I breathed a sigh of relief, I bashed my head into the wall out of pure frustration.
“I COULD’VE FLOWN OVER THE WALLS!” I scream to a crow, which for some reason was perched above me. It pooped on my head, squawked, and flew away. And with this stroke of pure stupidity, I flew over the next set of tripwires, grabbed the plate, and ran like hell from some massive seagulls, which wanted my shiny plate. In all seriousness, that was the scariest thing I’ve seen since arriving here. The seagulls were gaining on me as I made it back to the Town.
“Oh, yeah, I forgot, the plate is a plate from some religious icon, bring it to the church,” My captor said, without his usual scariness.
“Asshole.” I mutter, as I enter the church, seagulls stuck in entry.
The priest gladly accepts the disc, and sets it in between a copper one, a bloodstained silver one, a bronze one, a platinum one, and a massive jade one in the shape of the Mayan calendar.
“Your third task has been completed, as bringing me the seagulls was to be your third task. Your fourth task is to bring me the front left tooth of the great fire monster, Mies Palo, located in the great volcano just outside of town.” The booming voice said, back to being bored out of its mind. One bitchy journey later, I arrived at the base of the volcano. It was a classic cinder cone, only it was massive. It was easily double the size of the mountains back home. It looked to pull a Krakatau any day now, with the amount of ash coming from it; it didn’t have too long until boom. I decided to fly around for an entry to the monster without having to fly through the mouth, which would have been suicide, given how much burning ash was pouring out. There was a small system of vents, which were probably made by the monster. I wiggled into one, crawling through to the other side to find an asleep rock giant, made of pure obsidian with streaks of magma like rivers through hardened lava throughout what you would call its “skin.” I was thinking of things to do when there was an explosion so great, that I went deaf. It sounded like a cannon being fired. The mountain then finally pulled a Krakatau and released scalding ash throughout these caverns. When it hit me, my body was instantly incinerated, I felt my flesh melt off, leaving pure bones, charred, standing, and through what felt like watching a screen, I saw my mummified corpse liquefy in the lava seeping through the walls.
And…
I…
Was…
…Falling…once again…Into the 2 steps of darkness, through and to the ground to a grim discovery. The town was on fire from the ash. I needed out of there, and fast, so I flew up as high as I could, to hear an even louder boom, letting off a mushroom cloud that would have been right for the Tsar Bomba. The shockwave obliterated everything, including me. And for a fifth time… I was nothing… my consciousness floating…into a white room?
“Good morning. As you can see, purgatory has been destroyed. You have not failed, just caught by an unhandled exception of sorts. Please do not be afraid. You have a choice of your outcome. You may attempt to gain entry again through the foolish system that imbecile Blood Red devised, in a brand new purgatory. Or…You may go back to your coma induced body in Equestria, to better your life, to earn your entry to heaven. Your choice may be said into the provided microphone.” A loud voice said through a loud speaker, hanging from the roof.
“I would like number 2, please, and a medium shake.” I said, and incredibly, a chocolate shake, maraschino cherry and all.
“Enjoy your shake, when you finish it, you are to be placed into your awaiting body. Now tell us, what did you learn?” The voice said through the intercom.
“Well, for starters, assholes get nowhere in life. Second, anything can be accomplished with a good sitting down and thinking it through. Third, giant seagulls are fucking scary.” I said, stifling a laugh.
“Good.” The voice said, as I heard it get up, and walk away.
And with that, the shake down to the cherry, I picked up the cherry, plucked it off the stem, and ate it. As I swallowed it, everything suddenly went dark, and I was sent through a whirlpool. I was falling, through the infinite darkness, as things began to brighten up, and into such bright light, I had to close my eyes. The falling stopped, and I plunged into darkness, waking in the hospital what felt to be a few days’ later, bandages covering ninety percent of my body. I opened my eyes, to discover my friends at my bedside, them noticing I have awakened. They were saying something, but I couldn’t hear them. The doctor came in, removing the bandages around my ears.
“We’re glad to have you back! We thought we’d never see you again! As a present, we decided to get you something. Hope you like it!” Twilight said, cheery as ever. As I open the box, I can’t believe it.
It’s a small silver gyroscope…
Red, shiny arrow pointing where I really HOPE is north…
