Prisoner #61811426

by Iron Revolution

Rating: teen
Tags:
Length: 772

I had been mulling over the idea for this in my head for a while now, and I finally got around to writing it.

*Humanized MLP*

I am Prisoner #61811426 and I have been incarcerated for nearly 5 years. I've slowly grown used to the system, even found loopholes to get away with anything. I have friends and enemies. In a word I'm a normal prisoner. The following is a detailed reprise of several interviews that I've been apart of either as the subject or an aid to the interviewer. Think of it as my stories from prison life in a way.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-29 15:12:29 UTC

Interview #1: The Incident

“You know Jack, I really hate these things, you know that right?” I said, staring blankly at the mirror across from me. “Yeah yeah, I know kid. We all do, just try to cooperate with the guard this time, okay sugarcube?” A familiar voice said on the other side of the mirror. “I really am sorry about what happened last time,” I said apologetically. “But you gotta remember, this little doo-dad,” I said trying to point to my horn. “This is directly linked to my emotional state, when you piss me off I....no pun intended explode.”

“Heh, I know what you mean sugarcube, no harm done. But the people you’ll be talking to won’t be nearly as forgiving, so try to keep your mouth shut.”

“Just another routine interview, eh?” I said as the door in the corner slowly creaked open. “And then, in stepped Warden Rarity; the feared yet ever so beautiful patriarch of Equestrian prison number 46529.” I said with a smirk. She only scoffed in annoyance, slowly sitting down in the chair in front of me. “So, no protection today? It’s a shame really, I started taking a liking to the ol’ cap, if you know I mean.” Hello foot insert mouth. Why do I even keep running my mouth? It’s only going to get me into deeper trouble. “I’m sorry prisoner, could you speak up? I couldn’t quite make out, what you just said.” A voice uttered from behind. Speaking of deeper trouble, just my luck.

“Um, hello captain. How are you today?” I said just before receiving a massive smack to the head. “That’s what I thought.” I said reveling in my own stupidity. The captain only shot her usual glare and gradually made her way towards the warden. Her rainbow locks bouncing (along with other things) with every step she took. “Goddamn cocktease.” I muttered under my breath. “Now, where to begin with you?” the warden gradually said pulling out her notebook. “Oh, well I think it began a time ago in um......Princess Luna’s children’s hospital,” I said while my mind protested at the same time, Goddamn it kid shut the hell up.

“Cut the shit you little prick, before I...” before the captain could finish her threat that probably involved me having intimate relations with the stone wall behind me, the warden raised her hand. “Now now Dash, there’s no reason to get violent, lets remain civilized about this.” She said trying not to let her obvious annoyance towards me show. “Thank you Warden Rarity, I really do appreciate the help.” I said trying to be as sincere as possible. “Did I say you could speak?” She retorted back with a glare. I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. The warden began again, “Okay I assume you know why you’re here?” I nodded to the best of my ability due to my restraints. “Okay good at least you can remember that, now what happened?” She said soberly. I sighed, “Look I’m sorry about what happened, I truly am. If you just give me a chance to explain the cause I....” “Oh don’t even try to abstain yourself from this, we know you did it you little shit!” The captain screamed at the top of her lungs. I normally would’ve flinched and tried to crawl away, but I couldn’t really move cause I was shackled to my chair. “Okay okay, I get what you mean I’m not trying to absolve myself from this, I know I’m completely responsible for what happened.” I said, mustering up as courage as possible.

“Will you two stop with the fighting? It’s only going to make this last longer.” The warden said, trying to maintain control of the situation. The captain and I both looked at each other and forged a silent truce. “Good, now can you please go over the events that lead to your incarceration?” I sighed trying to collect my thoughts, “Okay, I was a thief, that snuck into the royal castle on the night of the Grand Galloping gala. I stole a number of things, including several paintings, nearly two thousand bits, and one of the royal gowns.” “Okay, anything else? We’d hate for anything not to turn up.” She said as she wrote in her notes. I sighed, irritated at my own defeat, “No that was everything I stole, it was actually quite easy once you started making a scene with Prince Blueblood” I said with a smirk. She slowly leered at me “Now can you recall the incident that occurred two days ago in Cell block C?”