Cheerilee's Normal Day

by PseudoBob Delightus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Cheerilee, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Drama, Comedy
Length: 7945

Cheerilee thought it was going to be a normal day. Then this story happened.

Exquisite Corpse. Like the game of telephone, but with art.

Eight authors enter. One mess of a story leaves. Zero is put back on the "days since class was interrupted by some nonsense" sign, and Cheerilee breathes a sigh of relief now that it's over. So she thinks...

Let's just hope it's as fun to read as it was to write!

This collaborative story features the talents of: PseudoBob (that's me!), EileenSaysHi, The Sleepless Beholder, FanOfMostEverything, Rego, Silver Needle, Dashie04, Bicyclette, and PseudoBob (me again!)

Published 2024-03-13 14:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-13 14:20:00 UTC

Chapter 1 - PseudoBob

Author's Note

This chapter was written by (me!), beginning the story.

Chapter 1 - PseudoBob

"... leading to the development of Modern Magonomic Theory, which is the underpinning of Equestria's economy…"

She put the finishing touches on her chalkboard diagram. A few more relational arrows here, an infobox there with the new vocabulary she'd just introduced, and it was complete.

"... bringing us back to the Ponyville market hub, which is where this all started!"

The end of her lecture was punctuated by the sound of chalk finding its place in the chalk tray, and the clop of her hooves as she turned to the class. Afternoon sun crawled across the wooden floor. A wide ceiling fan spun lazily from the rafters. And her students, two dozen fillies and colts, were staring in rapt attention, as if they couldn't believe what they'd just learned.

At least, that's what she wanted to believe. Really only a fraction were attentive - the Twists, Silver Spoons, and Clodhoppers of the lot, as usual. The rest ranged from typical distracted fidgeting to fully asleep and drooling on their desks.

Still, she put on a practiced smile, and asked, "Any questions?"

A few hooves were raised - as were some heads, off a desk or two. Silver Spoon had a question, probably about some advanced topic she'd read about in her parents' tomes and to which Cheerilee would have no hope of providing a satisfactory answer. That left Snails, Aspidistra, and dear, dear old Apple Bloom. That one wasn't the most attentive sort, and she tended to get in all variety of trouble, but she could at least be interesting - and she was quick on the draw, which made picking her an easier choice.

Cheerilee looked in her direction. "Apple Bloom?"

"Um," the filly hesitated, shifting her red mane about her face. "Are you still single?"

Cheerilee nearly choked, which contributed to the sudden burst of laughter around the room.

Her first genuine line of thought, is this filly asking me out?, would soon be filed away to the Nope section of her brain. The next, is this some kind of prank again?, seemed more realistic and interrogable, but nothing about Apple Bloom's demeanor betrayed such a motive. And she could tell - Apple Bloom was a terrible liar, in contrast to most foals, and much to Cheerilee's relief. That left the last: is this just a genuine question unrelated to my entire lesson plan? Yeah, that was probably it.

Once she'd recovered some scant composure, and the laughing had died down, Cheerilee nodded, and answered in her most didactic classroom voice, "Why, yes, Apple Bloom. I am. Still."

Apple Bloom cocked her head. "And why is that?"

Cheerilee smiled. She would have liked to say, "I'm sure you and your friends doping your brother and me with a love serum had nothing to do with it!", but what she said instead was, "I suppose I just haven't found that special somepony yet." After a second, she added, "... Still!"

Before Apple Bloom could keep this question going, and further strain Cheerilee's patience, she decided to bite the bullet by pointing at Silver Spoon's still-raised hoof. "Ms. Spoon, you have a question?"

Silver Spoon looked overjoyed at finally being chosen, and took a great, deep breath, surely preparing for a lecture of her own to rival her teacher's-

But then there was a noise outside. Heads turned, and students soon rushed to the windows.

"Woah! Look at that!"

Even Silver Spoon was distracted by whatever had happened out there - or was still happening.

Cheerilee announced, "Settle down, class! Whatever it is, it can wait-"

But there the sound was again.

Sweet Celestia's flanks, what was that?

Chapter 2 - EileenSaysHi

Whatever the sound was, it certainly had the entire class’s attention firmly within its clutches. Unable to see the source from her position, Cheerilee simply frowned.

“Scootaloo…”

Without turning her head, the messy-haired filly waved her forehooves in innocence. “This isn’t us, we swear–”

Suddenly, a face slammed against the window – the whole window – and grinned disconcertingly. Its voice, an all-too-familiar mix of sultry and grating, boomed inside the building. “Oh, yes, Miss Cheerilee, don’t blame poor Scootaloo, she’s indeed right. This particular batch of chaos has nothing to do with the antics of the Crusaders, as proud as I am that they’ve adopted so many of my teachings in absentia.”

Cheerilee’s expression, ever-so-briefly a wide-eyed look of surprise, was now an even deeper grimace than before. “Class is in session, Discord.”

“Oh, and what a class it is,” came the reply, as the paper-thin visage peeled itself off the glass and reformed to its normal state – though Cheerilee supposed normal was probably a misnomer – before then gliding effortlessly through solid matter as the Lord of Chaos made his entrance into the schoolhouse. “I mean Magonomic Theory really is one of the more interesting subjects for young minds, though I’m afraid this modern variant is far too refined and–” Discord shuddered “–structured.”

Cheerilee opened her mouth to respond, but before she could speak, the floating abomination had disappeared in a loud poof, only for an identical noise to manifest behind her. She turned to see a chalk outline of a draconequus ambling about across her diagrams, tsk-tsking frequently as it hopped from arrow to arrow.

It was a delightful sight for her students, their giggling slowly starting to build into outright chuckles and guffaws. It was much less so for the beleaguered teacher, and that voice wasn’t helping matters. “Oh my, no, this won’t do at all, really, it’s no wonder the poor foals weren’t learning anything. I mean for dear old Celly’s sake, you didn’t even include all the potential magonomic impacts of a breezie flapping its wings in Griffonstone, much less– hey!”

Eraser in mouth, Cheerilee lunged at the miniature agent of mayhem, which dodged just in time before she made contact with a cloud of chalk dust. Cheerilee mercilessly dragged the instrument of doom along the board, claiming words, boxes, and shapes as she chased the caricatured fiend, which screamed in mock-horror, sending the foals behind her into hysterics. It made an error, however, in trying to turn and make a surprise jump to the other side as the eraser closed in – Cheerilee’s reaction time was swifter than what Discord had apparently calculated, and she managed to smear off a large chunk of tail.

In an instant, the sapient outline had vanished. The scope of the eraser’s destructive path was clear, with the day’s lesson left in ruins. Cheerilee violently spat out the wretched tool as another little pop sounded behind her, followed by cheers from the students. She turned to find Discord back in his physical form – minus part of the tail, which now terminated abruptly midway through numerous scales – and smiling smugly at her.

“There now,” he said, gesturing to the board, “doesn’t that look much better?”

It was all Cheerilee could do to ignore the taunt and resist openly gnashing her teeth. “Discord,” she growled, ”what do you want?”

The foals all went silent.

Discord, however, was unfazed. “What do I want? Hmmm… well, I’ll start with my tail back, I have grown rather fond of it…” He clenched his fists, hunched forward, and grit his teeth as though he were squeezing out an egg, groaning as his tail reformed into its usual shape. He then resumed his previous posture with perfect nonchalance. “Ah, much better. You know, I never used to keep my form this consistent, but when you’re stuck in one body for over a millennium, you develop a certain appreciation for… ah, we’re wasting time. After all, if we’re going to get through the list of everything I want–”

“Why are you here?!”

The room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Even Discord seemed taken aback.

For the smallest of moments, anyway.

“Well, you could have just led with that. Anywho–”

Suddenly, all eyes turned as a sound – the same one they’d heard outside before Discord’s arrival – cracked through the schoolhouse. A purple glow manifested in the middle of the room, rapidly expanding, and a hole in space and time emerged from its center. A hideous, vaguely sock-puppet shaped monstrosity lunged out from it, looking like something from a dimension her pony eyes couldn’t even comprehend. Discord winced, and even looked embarrassed as he glanced over at Cheerilee. “You’ll have to excuse me.”

With Cheerilee entirely lacking in a response, Discord floated up to meet the creature, which had scooped up Button Mash’s propeller beanie and devoured it, sending the colt fleeing in terror. “Hey! I thought I told you – no, no, back! Or there’ll be no treat tonight!” He stretched his arms impossibly wide and grabbed the rift from both left and right, shoving it back together. The creature, making shrill otherworldly barks of annoyance, slipped back inside just before the barrier was fully closed, the glow disappearing.

There was scattered, awkward applause as Discord descended back to the floor beside Button Mash’s vacated desk. Cheerilee stared for a moment, before finally speaking up. “Was… was that what you were here for?”

Discord laughed. “Him? Hardly. Randall’s an old, ah, what’s the word? Certainly not friend. Acquaintance might be a bit strong. But he’s been going through some issues, and, well, it’s probably far too long and graphic a story for the dear sweet youths here. He’s just a bit clingy at the moment.”

“Then,” Cheerilee said slowly, “why are you here?”

“Me?” Discord suddenly changed shapes once more, into a foal-sized version of himself dressed in the garb of an old Nickertorian-era Trottingham newspaper colt. “Today, I am but a humble messenger.”

He reverted back to his standard appearance. Cheerilee ignored the performance. “And what is the message?”

“Ah, well…”

Chapter 3 - The Sleepless Beholder

“They want me to what?!” Cheerilee screamed, causing Discord to pull off his ears so he didn't rupture something.

“Well, not you in particular, more them.” A dozen arms sprouted out of Discord’s shoulder, pointing at the different students.

“Us?”

“Me?”

“But of course.”

“Expected nothing less from the princesses.”

“Does that mean we get to see Princess Luna?”

“Those are pretty good questions, care to elaborate?” Cheerilee said, getting right in Discord's face.

The lord of chaos scratched his chin, pulled on his beard, hummed patiently, ignored Cheerilee’s anger, and said; “Nope.”

Then banished in a flash of light.

The teacher blinked the white spots out of her eyes and looked at the classroom, all the fillies staring at her with bright eyes and pleading smiles.

Cheerilee let out a heavy sigh. “I guess we're going on a field trip.”

-+-

Cheerilee took her seat with a grumble as the train slowly started moving out of the Ponyville station, wondering to herself. “What were the princesses thinking?!”

First sending Discord as a messenger, then asking her to come to Canterlot immediately, then… for some Twilight-forsaken reason, bring the entire class with her!

“So… will this field trip affect our grades?” Truffle asked, always interested in extra points.

The rest of the class was spread all over the train car. The Crusaders were elated about going in an adventure like their sisters, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were excited to visit Canterlot and mingle with the high class, Pipsqueak was happy to see Princess Luna again outside of dreams, Featherweight was taking pictures and talking about how this was going to sell a lot of newspapers, Peachy and Sunny were just roller skating in circles, Snips and Snails were talking to each other about something completely unrelated to the situation, Twist was a nervous mess, and Button Mash was just playing on his portable console.

“Teacher?” Truffle insisted, seeing that Cheerilee had been silent for a minute.

She shook her head. “No, you won't get extra points for this, I was not expecting it and you’re already getting to visit Canterlot as a field trip.”

“And hopefully nothing else”

That was the question of the day. What could the princess need after their retirement that required the entire class of Ponyville’s Schoolhouse? Was it some world ending event? Were they just inviting them for tea? Was it related to Randall? Cheerilee couldn't tell, but if the princesses thought the fillies would help, she would bring them to Canterlot.

If only to see how in Tartarus they would be able to help them.

-+-

The train arrived at the station and Cheerilee herded the class out of the car, the fillies immediately wanting to spread out and explore. It was at times like these when the teacher wished she was a unicorn so she could just lift everyone and be done with it.

Doing it the hard way, she managed to keep pretty much everyone together, and whoever wandered off would be caught by the guards eventually. The princesses can explain that to the parents since this whole mess is because of them.

With the situation back under control, she guided the class towards the castle, where the guards let them in without question, giving validity to what Discord had said. Luckily all the students were too busy looking at the castle in awe to do any damage or chaos.

Eventually they made it to the throne room, where Queen Twilight was sitting on her throne, with a disheveled Celestia and Luna speaking to her in whispers. Cadence was also next to them, but was speaking with Shining Armor instead, seemingly calm despite the others’ clear anxiety.

“Excuse me, princesses, queen,” Cheerilee spoke as she took a small bow, glaring at her students so they did the same. “I've brought everyone as requested. I don't know how they will help or why you had to send Discord to get us, or why… he didn't just teleport us here from the start?”

That last question got a groan out of everypony save the royals of the Crystal Empire.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Twilight said. “I know this is unusual but times are dire and we are facing something that's… unorthodox in their way of being defeated.”

“I… guess that explains the students being the ones necessary,” Cheerilee looked at Shining and Cadence as the two started laughing about something in their conversation. “Um, I’m getting a bit of mixed signals here. Are matters urgent or-”

“They very much are,” Twilight said, giving a pitying look at her brother and sister-in-law. “They have sadly been victims of the threat we need to stop.”

Cheerilee looked at them more closely. Neither of the two seemed to look injured or sick, no markings, no glow of magic in their eyes, they looked perfectly fine if maybe unaware of what was going on around them. “They… don’t seem in a bad spot necessarily.”

“We thought the same thing for a while,” Luna said. “But the oddities kept piling up till we knew something was off.”

“We thought it similar to what Queen Chrysalis had done to Shining Armor during the wedding, but Thorax couldn’t confirm what it was or its nature,” Celestia added.

“We even brought Chrysalis back from the stone to see if she could figure it out, and the answers…” Twilight looked worriedly at her family. “We’ve time, at least, but there’s much to do.”

Cheerilee gave them a serious nod, the fillies behind her also turning their full attention to the princesses. “Then what are we to do? What is this threat? What does it do?”

“I guess I should explain from the start.” Twilight took a deep breath. “There’s a long lost Changeling legend…”

Chapter 4 - FanOfMostEverything

One Sparkle lecture later—7/10, Cheerilee couldn’t help but think, very informative but nowhere near engaging enough for her usual class—the teacher took a deep breath. “So,” she said, voice echoing across the throne room, “Let me make sure I fully understand the situation. You need to weaponize the innocence of children, your words, not mine, to stop this fabled scourge of the land.” She left any comments on relying on the innocence of Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon to herself.

To her credit, Queen Twilight squirmed on the throne itself. “Believe me, if there were any other way to do this, I’d have done it.”

“There is a further complication,” noted Princess Luna.

“What?”

“The foals dispersed during your summation, my friend.” Luna smiled down at the colt sitting at her forehooves like a spotted dog. “Save for good Pipsqueak, who has been admirably patient.”

“I’m just glad to spend more time with my favorite princess!” the colt cheered.

Luna’s grin widened. “For which I am deeply grateful.”

“Heartwarming as this is,” said Celestia, “one colt won’t be enough to help Princess Cadence and Shining Armor. Certainly not if we are to stop this before it spreads.”

“Spreads?” said Twilight and Cheerilee both.

The queen turned on Discord, who had been snoring on the throne’s backrest since she’d begun retelling the changeling legend. “You never said it was contagious! I’d have never risked exposing foals if that were the case!”

He peaked out from under his sleep mask. “Yes, that’s why I didn’t say it. Obviously.”

“Discord.” Cheerilee didn’t shout. She didn’t even sound especially angry. But there was so much Authority in her voice that it made Twilight shudder at sit up straight, much less the draconequus. “If you bringing my class here harms one hair on their heads, I’m having words with Fluttershy.”

He snorted a white cloud. “Look, Miss Chalkbreath, you can’t just wave her like a cudgel and expect me to obey.”

“No, but I can suggest all the fascinating things the foals can learn with a live dissection of the Spirit of Chaos.”

Discord’s retort died on his tongue. He stroked his goatee during the following three-second-long funeral. “She’d probably want to watch.” Complex emotions played across his face along the real and imaginary axes. “I’d say not to threaten me with a good time, but Sweetie Belle and surgery probably mix as well as her and a stove.”

Cadence and Shining both giggled at that. All three of the other alicorns in the room shared concerned looks and turned to Discord. “We must make haste,” said Luna, “not just for our sake but for all of Equestria. Can you at least teleport the foals this time?”

“Oh no. Innocence is a very specific blend of various ephemeral forces. Dragging Cherry Lane’s little herd here would render them utterly useless for our purposes for a week.”

“About that,” said Cheerilee. “Any reason you didn’t use a Canterlot class?”

“Innocence and politics never mix. But I can get them here through less direct means.” Discord pulled a megaphone out from behind the throne. The crackle of feedback was all the warning everybody got before his announcement filled the air. “NOW SERVING FREE ICE CREAM IN THE THRONE ROOM!”

For a few seconds nothing happened. Judging by the ringing in her ears, Cheerilee wouldn’t have been able to tell if it had. Even as it started to fade, she felt more than heard the response, a faint shaking of the castle floor.

Then her tinnitus faded further, and she heard the eager shouts that accompanied it.

She glared at Discord, He smirked back. “Call it self-defense.”

Any answer she might give was preempted by the rest of her class bursting into the throne room. “Okay, everypony! Don’t worry, I’m sure there’s enough for all of you. Yes, even you, Truffle. We just need to…” Cheerilee trailed off as she finished her headcount. Everypony was accounted for. And then some. “Girls?” she said to the Crusaders. “What is that?”

“That,” answered Luna, “is the source of all our problems. Get behind me, Pip.”

“Omigosh, hiiiii!” Cheerilee wasn’t sure what was worse, the ear-piercing pitch of the cry, or the fact that it had come from Shining Armor. Really, she was more concerned about the pinker-than-Pinkie-Pie entity astride Apple Bloom, but the falsetto was doing her ears no favors.

A shift in her peripheral vision got her to glance to the side. At some point, Discord had wrapped around her and gave her the same look of dread and camaraderie the other student teacher had on her first day in a real elementary school.

“So,” Cheerilee said to him. “What now?”

“Now?” Discord’s head did a full rotation about his neck as he took in the scene. “We need to explain to the Crusaders why we need to eradicate their new best friend. Failing that, with every alicorn save Flurry in this room, I recommend making the best religion you can in a ten-minute span, if only so we all have something to pray to.”

Chapter 5 - Rego

While the fillies and colts of her class busied themselves with getting their promised frozen treats, Cheerilee took in the presence of this newest threat to Equestria. She barely had the words to describe itself as it seemed to bend reality around what was left of the creature. It was as if pure imagination had been given life; a liminal being of untethered thoughts that shattered the very space it inhabited. How the Cutie Mark Crusaders had befriended it was an utter mystery.

“Co\go/me with m\us/e, my\your/our\ friends,” the infected changeling cried, sang, and beckoned all at the same time. “Let’s all scream\ice\cream\AHH!” The distorted amalgamation and the crusaders began to canter towards them, but stuttered with each step as space folded in front of them like a flip book in slow motion.

“Discord!” Queen Twilight yelled.

“Odd,” The draconequus pondered aloud. “Most reality-warping monstrosities that I know are lactose intolerant.” He shrugged and tossed the useless megaphone over his shoulder, letting it explode into confetti on the castle walls.

With time running out, it was clear that whatever was infectious was starting to spread to the three. Cheerliee didn’t want to know what would happen when they got close to everypony.

“If we are going to do something, we must act now lest we all be subsumed by the unreality around it!” Luna yelled over the hungry herd’s din.

“Agreed, but how are we supposed to wield innocence against it?” Shining Armor asked as uselessly tried to muster a shield to stop the creature’s advance. “I get that’s what the legend said, but how the hay are we going to weaponize it?”

Cheerilee closed her eyes and wracked her brain trying to think of a solution to the vague problem. Despite Twilight’s extended lecture on the prophecies, there hadn’t been any firm details to latch onto for an answer. Childlike innocence could be anything! It was a blessing that time whittled away with experience. Weapons only came later when innocence was lost.

“Mrs. Cheerilee? Do you have mint chocolate chip?” Truffle asked as he added another scoop to his growing ice cream cone.

The question rammed through Cheerilee’s head, forcing her to bite down on her tongue, lest she say anything regrettable. She was already running out of patience before on the field trip and now she didn’t even have time to think before they were all lost within unreality. The last thing she needed was for dessert-hungry fillies and colts pelting her with inane questions!

Or was it…

“Class! It’s focus time!” the teacher called over her students, demanding their attention. “Quiet hooves up and eyes on me! Now!” The firm, teacherly order silenced everypony, including Queen Twilight and the retired royals next to her.

“Yes, Miss Cheerilee?” Dinky replied dutifully, if not a little nervous from the teacher’s frazzled grin.

“I know you all want to eat your ice cream, but I heard Mister Discord will whip up some pizza if you sing!”

“Hey!” Snips asked incredulously. “Can’t he just snap his fingers and make some appear?”

“Not this time!” Cheerilee quickly said, her eyes shooting back towards the oncoming doom. “No song, no pizza!”

A chorus of disappointed awws sounded from the class.

“What does Discord want us to sing?” Snails asked.

“Well, umm… Oh! We’re in Canterlot, and I’m sure they haven’t heard our school song! Let’s sing that!”

“But that’s so boring!” Diamond Tiara complained. “What about the new Sapphire Shores song?”

“I don’t know that one,” Peppermint Twist admitted.

“No, no class. It has to be the school song, ‘Mark of Our Light,’ okay?” Cheerilee looked to the alicorns, nodding trying to get them to play along.

“Oh? Oh yes! Of course. It sounds wonderful!” Princess Cadance admitted, unsure of why she was going along with it. “Could you sing it for me?”

“Of course, your highness!” Snails dutifully saluted.

Cheerilee nodded feverishly.“Great! Now turn around everypony and sing as loud as you can! Shout and scream at the top of your lungs if you have to! We want all of Canterlot to hear it!”

With the promise of making a joyful noise, the unaware fillies and colts turned towards the door and got ready to belt out their school’s song from memory. Many of them doubtlessly didn’t know it by heart, which would add to the good-hearted chaos. With uncertainty scrawled across the other, older ponies, Cheerilee hoped to Harmony that she was right.

After all, there was no greater weaponization of innocence that she could think of on the spot than a tone-deaf children's choir’s assault on the ears. It was a well-meaning cacophony that only a parent could appreciate.

Chapter 6 - Silver Needle

“Ohhh when Celestia first smiled ‘pon these fields, and blessed them greatly with their yields~”

The school song had been written by one Andante Melody around the time of Ponyville School’s founding, and its age showed in its composition. It was a slow, ceremonious piece, all about how wonderful it was to be a young pony, starting the journey of life in the beautiful land of Equestria, and all the opportunities and adventures that came with it. It was meant to be heartwarming, emotional, sure to bring a tear to the eye of any listener.

“~to see new sights an’ plant new trees, and be the best a foal can beeee~”

Cheerilee certainly felt like crying now as the class began singing, cheerfully and enthusiastically butchering the song. A general mixture of tone-deafness, lack of any musical direction, and the fact that many of them were still polishing off their ice creams had resulted in a rendition that would have Andante spinning in his grave. Judging by the expressions on the faces of the other ponies listening, they felt similarly. But the song was not intended for them.

“~we’ll keep those lessons in our hearts, and someday earn our cutie marks~”

The infected changeling continued to advance on them, carelessly ignoring the finer points of physics as it tripped its way through reality, accompanied by the Cutie Mark Crusaders still calling their offers of friendship in unnatural twisted voices. It was difficult to tell how quickly the space-warping being was going, but it didn’t seem to be slowing down, and Cheerilee feared for a moment that she had got things horribly wrong.

“~and something something shine so bright, and bring forth the mark of our light!”

But then as the unharmonious voices of the children swelled, it stopped dead, an impossible creature frozen in a moment of time, as though it had suddenly heard the awful cacophony. The crusaders accompanying it ground to a halt too, silent for the first time in their lives.

“~so ponies young and ponies old, make sure this story will be told~”

“It’s working!” Cheerilee called over her class as the changeling slowly began to move again, writhing in a way that seemed unnatural even for it. “Keep singing!”

The young foals needed no further encouragement, and launched into what could generously be described as a round, but was more accurately each pony just singing whichever line they pleased, at whatever tempo they wished. It was somehow even worse than before, but as much as Cheerilee couldn’t stand the singing, the changeling reacted to the music as though each individual note was plunging into its soul. It let out a screech that reverberated throughout her body, before twisting itself in directions that didn’t make sense, distorting back and forth until eventually, with one last cry, it folded in on itself, and disappeared completely.

The class cheered, some evidently understanding that they had some part in banishing the creature, before remembering the previous promise of pizza, and rounding on Discord as one. The Draconequus seemed to be the sole observer who had actually enjoyed the music, and he happily began rolling out dough as he congratulated the young foals, complete with chef’s hat and apron. As for Cheerilee, she collapsed to the ground, the stress of the event finally catching up and leaving her exhausted.

“That was quite the performance,” Queen Twilight commented, coming up alongside her. “When the prophecy mentioned wielding childlike innocence against this threat, there were a number of solutions that came to mind. I must admit, none of them involved an impromptu rendition of ‘Mark of our Light.’”

“Prophecies would exist for naught if their answers weren’t obscured in some manner.” Luna joined them, the ex-princess moving as silently as a shadow. Cheerilee would have jumped, had she the energy.

“Is it gone?” She asked. “Properly gone, I mean? I didn’t know if it would work or not, but it was the only thing I could think of, so I-”

“It’s ok.” Twilight draped a wing over the teacher reassuringly. It was warm, and soft, and dwarfed Cheerilee entirely. Not for the first time, she found herself thinking about how much the Alicorn had changed since she’d first met her. “While I can’t say for certain whether the creature is truly gone, I can no longer feel its presence here or anywhere nearby. You acted on the guidance of your heart, and it led you true. We are safe for now, thanks to your efforts.” She gave her a gentle smile that made the already pink pony flush in embarrassment.

“The disturbance in space has been vanquished, or at the very least severely weakened,” Luna concurred. “Hopefully, that will be the last we see of it. ”

The older ponies took a moment of content silence together as they watched the group of younger ponies enjoy themselves. Several large pizzas had been procured from apparent thin air, but at the rate they were being consumed, Cheerilee wondered if even Discord’s chaos magic would be able to keep up with the ravenous appetites of a class full of hungry foals. It dawned on her that she would probably have to write notes out to the parents of the children to explain what had happened on what was supposed to be a normal Canterlot field trip. ‘The excursion was unfortunately interrupted by a foretold eldritch being beyond our comprehension, forcing us to deviate from the planned route and extending the trip. We apologise and ask for your understanding.’

“It’s curious,” Shining Armour said. He had yet to join them, standing and staring still at the spot the infected changeling had disappeared from.

“What is?”

“Well, why that… thing, whatever it was, didn’t just go straight for us. You saw how it was ignoring my shields, and any other magic we threw at it. And the way it was moving through- the uh-”

“The fabric of space-time?” The queen helpfully supplied.

“Yes, thank you Twilight. That.” Shining Armour huffed in annoyance. “Anyway, it seems to me that if it wanted to get to us, it could have done so easily. So why didn’t it?”

Twilight opened her mouth to reply, and then closed it again, obviously thinking. But before she could come up with a theory to explain, they were interrupted.

“Miss Cheerilee!”

“Oh! Dinky! What is it dear?” Cheerilee was on her hooves and back into teacher-mode in an instant.

“Um, well…” The small grey filly paused, evidently realising that she had butted in on a conversation with several ex-royals and the current queen, but the importance of what she needed to say overcame whatever nervousness she may have been feeling, and so she continued. “We, um, we can’t find Applebloom, Miss Cheerilee. Or Sweetie Belle or Scootaloo. They’re not here.”

“What?!” Cheerilee swiftly performed a headcount. She was right. The rest of the class was present, but the Crusaders, who had of course been with the changeling, were absent. In the excitement of the moment she had quite forgotten that they had been separated from the others.

“Wh-what happened?” She said, frantically scanning the room. “Did they wander off, or get lost, or-” A terrible thought suddenly struck her. “Oh… no, surely they weren’t…”

“What is it?” Luna was already alert, on guard for any hidden dangers. “Speak, schoolteacher. We can help.”

Cheerilee gulped. “T-they had befriended- or tried to befriend that thing. Whatever was wrong with it was already spreading to them when we saw them last. What- what if when we banished that creature, we banished them too? What if I’ve just lost those three fillies- permanently?”

Silence fell on the group, dreadful in its weight. Cheerilee didn’t look, but she was sure she could feel their gazes piercing her like shards of glass, judging, appalled at what she had done. What kind of teacher was she, to let something like this happen?

“No.” Queen Twilight spoke, firm and resolute, breaking the tension of the moment. “That’s impossible. The prophecy was quite clear, It was the power of childlike innocence that saved us there, that drove the warped infection out. Those three fillies are perhaps the best example of childlike innocence I know. They will have been safe from it.”

“But-”

“Regardless,” The Queen said, standing and spreading her wings to their full majestic extent, “It is evident that something needs to be done. Cadence, Shiny, you’re on substitute teacher duty. Keep an eye on Discord.”

“Of course! Miss Cadance will see to it that they remain safe and sound!” The alicorn said, beaming. Her husband looked at the crowd of foals with a lot more apprehension on his face, but he nodded all the same.

“Luna, if you could survey the city for us. If that fails, the dream world. We can’t leave out any possibilities.”

“As you wish.” The ex-princess dashed out of the door without another word, taking flight immediately.

“As for you, Miss Cheerilee, I would request that you come with me.” Twilight began to make her way out as well. “While I’m sure they’re ok, attempting to make friends with a creature so distorted will undeniably have affected those girls. They could be anywhere, in any condition. If we are to help those fillies, I will need your assistance.”

“A-are you sure?” The teacher nervously watched as two foals attempted to climb a long-suffering Shining Armour. “I’ve already landed those girls in some kind of trouble. I don’t want to complicate things further.”

“As far as I’m concerned, it was thanks to you that they weren’t consumed entirely by the unreality surrounding that changeling. Besides,” she gave her an analytical glance that made the pink pony shiver. “Something tells me that you are pivotal to all of this. It was childlike innocence that defeated that creature, but it was you who brought that out from them. Make no mistake Cheerilee. You are the key to this whole mystery.”

“Ok,” Cheerilee said, feeling not a little overwhelmed. “Where are we going?”

Queen Twilight grinned a grin so reminiscent of the Twilight she had used to know, back before she had wings and royal titles that despite the whole terrifying situation Cheerilee couldn’t help but smile back. “No time for explanations. For now, just follow me!”

Chapter 7 - Dashie04

“The library,” Cheerilee deadpanned, galloping after Twilight. Into her view came a large building, windows covering every surface, with thousands of books visible simply from the ground.

“Not just any library,” Twilight declared. “The royal library. If there’s anything that’ll reveal to us what this creature is, it’ll be ancient history.”

“Are you absolutely sure?” Cheerilee asked. “This’ll reveal the true nature of that infected changeling?”

“Yes!” Twilight shouted, quite unbefitting of a library, even an unentered one. “Well, no, not entirely, but it’s as good as a place as any. We’re going to comb this place as much as we can.”

“But—“

“The parents… that is an issue but I’ll trust Shining Armor and Discord on that one.”

“You’re trusting Discord.” Cheerilee pointed out.

“Desperate times,” Twilight whispered.

The two ventured into the library. Cheerliee looked around at the mountains of books that surrounded her. Large lexicons littered the shelves, organized neatly by name.

“We want ancient history, because frankly I have heard of nothing that matches the description of this infection in modern times.”

Cheerilee nodded, and followed Twilight to the ancient history section. The pristine paperbacks soon gave way to dusty tomes, marked with names so old nopony could remember the who, what, or why. Various discussions about medicine, science, and history even older than ancient, penned by prodigious ponies of old, lined the shelves— kept in as remarkable a state as something older than Celestia could be.

“I’ll take the left, you get the right,” Twilight whispered, flapping up to start combing the shelves. “We need to figure this out… and fast.”

Cheerliee immediately started throwing books aside, glancing at their titles to determine whether or not they were valuable. Some were written in languages she didn’t understand but the key words: infection, child, changeling, among others, were conspicuously absent. She didn’t bother looking through and determining the alphabetical order, she needed answers. With every single one coming up blank, her desperation grew deeper, only enhancing her frenzied mood.

Meanwhile, Twilight calmly looked through her side of the aisle. Putting books back carefully. The two contrasting styles proved not only entertaining for the ponies watching— likely drawn by the thump of leather on carpet— but created a choir of controlled chaos that would make Discord blush.

The two continued searching, one silent and one shaking, for another few minutes. Then, amongst the countless covers carelessly crashing, was a single shout.

“I found it!”

Everypony who might’ve been watching, stopped. Silence rushed over the library in a second.

“What is it?” Twilight asked, not even bothering to control her voice.

“Infection: A Curious Case,” Cheerilee declared, “by Heir Apparent.”

“Can we be sure?” Twilight asked, once again, with no respect to the setting.

“No…” Cheerilee admitted, “but we can hope.”

The two looked intently into the book as Cheerilee cracked open the cover. After a long and ambling foreword, they found exactly what they were looking for.

“…No cure is known for this disease of pure darkness. However, coltlike wonder keeps it at bay.”

“You were right…” Cheerilee muttered, dumbstruck.

“Childlike wonder…” Twilight added. She looked up at the high ceilings, clearly drafting up something in her head.

“So,” Twilight began. “Let’s review…

“First, this is a disease of pure darkness. Whatever infected that changeling is sinister and needs to be taken care of immediately. Secondly, it very well might be infectious, whatever this disease was, it had enough cases to have a book written on it. Third, childlike wonder is known as a deterrent, whatever you did was greater than that, it was complete obliteration. Finally, it used to be eradicated, until now…”

Twilight trailed off on an ominous note. She flipped a few more flimsy pages, stained by coffee and ink. “This could mean serious danger for me and the kingdom. As the newly-appointed Queen of Equestria this is something that requires urgent attention.”

“Or else…?” Cheerliee trembled. She hoped that the answer wouldn’t be what she thought it was.

“This could mean disaster for the entirety of Equestria!” Her voice echoed throughout the library, alarming all within earshot. She flew over and planted her two front hooves squarely on Cheerilee’s shoulders, a frenzied look in her eye. “We need to tell the others immediately.”

Cheerliee nodded quickly, sharply. She then looked at her feet.

“Oh. The books…”

“No time!” Twilight casted a spell and every displaced book was put neatly on the shelf. Maybe not where it belonged, but that wasn’t her problem.

Twilight started on a full-force fly back outdoors, forcing Cheerilee to catch up with a graceless gallop. In no time, the two were at the door, a little worse for wear. But, with the adrenaline coursing through their veins, the two eventually started on the path back to the concert hall, where the changeling had vanished with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Before they could make it though, Discord appeared directly in front of them. Two ponies fell to his side as he held up a stop sign, a command— which in Twilight and Cheerliee’s state— they immediately followed.

Donning a construction vest and a hardhat, Discord glared at the two tearful ponies.

“My class!” Cheerliee shouted. “Please tell me they’re alright!”

“They’re fine. We have more pressing matters at hand,” Discord said.

With a snap, a tear in the fabric of dimensions opened up, a look into the dream world.

Shining Armor glanced up, groaning. “Discord! No wonton teleporting… my head hurts.”

“Sorry Shiny but this had to be done,” Discord muttered, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

“Are the Cutie Mark Crusaders alright?” Twilight called, voice straining like a songbird with strep throat.

“Good news and bad news there,” Discord said, summoning a scroll and reading glasses. As he adjusted the glasses, he asked “What’d you like first?”

“The good news please!” Cheerliee called.

“Good news: The Cutie Mark Crusaders are fine.”

The two ponies looked up hopefully, hoping that was the last of it.

“The bad news…”

Discord summoned another scroll, which unrolled and touched the ground, rolling on for infinity, as far as Twilight could see.

“The bad news: Our connection is shaky, Luna won’t wake up and…”

Three familiar faces scrolled through the dimensional rift, darkness convulsing all around. Luna winced in her sleep, a sleep deep enough that she wasn’t even bothered when her body unceremoniously dropped like a sack of potatoes from the teleport.

“…The three pipsqueaks are a little worse for wear.”

Chapter 8 - Bicyclette

And that combination of sights was enough to push Cheerilee over the edge. She snapped out of the fog of her exhaustion, her mind sharpened by sudden anger.

“How is that the Cutie Mark Crusaders being ‘alright’? Or even ‘a little worse for wear’?”

She jabbed a hoof up at the image of the three fillies in the roiling darkness of the dreamworld, then at the literally infinite scroll Discord was holding in his claw.

“And while my students are suffering, you’re still making your silly little prop jokes?”

Discord blinked rapidly behind his fake reading glasses in mock offense.

“My dear, this is hardly a ‘silly little prop joke’. It’s called a bit, and I’m using it to underscore just how serious–”

“I know what a bit is!” she screamed, putting every ounce of frayed nerve into it. “It’s all a bit to you, isn’t it? A game where you just watch us ponies run around trying to fix it while holding back as long as you can as everything gets worse. Just to what? Entertain yourself?”

Discord didn’t respond right away, only narrowing his eyes in silence. In a poof, gone were the scroll, the reading glasses, the safety vest, and the hardhat.

“So, Miss Cheerilee. Just what was it that you and Twilight discovered in the library?”

Before Cheerliee could reply, Twilight did so for her.

“According to Heir Apparent, whatever it was that infected that changeling, there is no known cure. It’s a disease of pure darkness, and childlike wonder keeps it at bay.”

“Precisely. Childlike wonder.”

Discord smiled, but not at all pleasantly.

“Trust me, my dear, you do not want me to interfere in this any more or any differently than I already have.”

“We don’t have time for this anyway, Cheerilee.”

Twilight sounded as tired as the dark circles under her eyes would suggest. Her horn glowed, and without warning, Cheerilee suddenly began to see another field of vision layered on top of her own. One that she took a second to realize was of herself, standing in the same spot where the image of Twilight was in front of her.

“Since Luna won’t wake up, we don’t have a choice anymore. I’m going to have to go in there and deal with this myself. We still don’t know exactly what it is that you did that managed to eradicate it that time, so I linked our sensoriums together. As long as we’re talking aloud we should be able to hear each other, and if you see or hear anything that seems important on my end you can tell me.“

All Cheerilee could do was nod silently, her mind still trying to integrate the two overlapping streams of sight and sound.

“Now, Shiny.”

Cheerilee saw both Twilight turning to her brother and the face of her brother, still massaging his head from the teleport.

“Think back to the day you taught me to fly a kite, okay?”

Shining Armor nodded, and both their horns glowed. A physical portal to the dreamworld began to open up between them, knit together by the power of an overlapping childhood memory.

Cheerilee could feel Twilight’s lips pull back in a satisfied smile as she took a second to admire the result of another spell well done. She could feel Twilight’s brow furrow in confusion for a second, then go up in shock as she saw her own body leap in front of her and into the portal first.

And of all the things to be thinking about at that moment, all Cheerilee could think about was what she would say if someone asked her why she did it.

There were plenty of reasons, of course.

It made no sense to send the newly-crowned Queen of Equestria personally to face something so unknown and dangerous, and risk taking away an entire nation’s new leader before her reign even truly began.

This whole incident started in Cheerilee’s classroom, so the ultimate responsibility to her beloved students could only fall on her withers.

As a mortal pony that helplessly watched her world fill up with deities and monsters and face destruction about once a year, this was her best and only chance to do something about at least one of these things for once.

But she wasn’t thinking of any of that. Not really.

She thought about how Queen Twilight, who reflexively used “everycreature” when addressing crowds and called Equestria a “kingdom”, just as reflexively misquoted Heir Apparent’s words. She had written that “coltlike wonder” kept the disease at bay, not “childlike wonder”.

In modern Equestria, the two phrases were synonymous, but Cheerilee had majored in Early Middle Ponish back in university, and knew that they would not have been to Heir Apparent.

To have in front of you an entire life of happily doing what your cutie mark told you, as a perfectly-slotted gear in the millworks of your society. To have a society built around keeping that life perfectly innocent of the yoke of responsibility, the roil of complex emotion, the weight of power, the pain of ever growing up. That was coltlike wonder, in the world of Heir Apparent.

That was the world that this darkness had existed in last.

Chapter 9 - PseudoBob

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