Chapters Little Pieces Of Paper With "No" Written On Them
Sugar Cube Maud-ner [STORY]
Author's Note
Short desc.: When Pinkie becomes sick - very sick - Maud has to take over her shift at Sugarcube Corner.Reasons for inclusion: Originally published as a seperate fic, I took it down because I was unhappy with it.Extra notes: Chapter originally titled "Pony Pony Yay Pony Neigh Cake Maud Pony Funny". I believe it was my first featured fic, but featured briefly enough that I didn't notice.
Sugar Cube Maud-ner [STORY]
It was a sunny day in Ponyville - flowing through the windows and bathing Sugarcube Corner in light. Standing just in front of the counter, rubbing her chin, was Lyra: “Well, which cake would you recommend?” She stared at all the delicious treats behind the counter - who could decide between such temptations? - then to the pony behind it. Maud Pie.
Maud stared at the pony for a bit, then blinked. “I don't know much about cakes. I don't work here.” Monotone. Blunt.
“Right, well-” Lyra stopped herself. Shook her head, tried to rattle out some idea in her brain. “I- Uh, well… You- You don't work here? Why are you behind the counter?”
“Normally my sister works here. Pinkie Pie. Maybe you've heard of her.” Lyra nodded as Maud continued, “She's very sick today. I offered to come to the bakery and cover for her.”
“Being sick hasn't stopped her before, you know.” Lyra avoided looking directly at Maud, instead looking off to the ground and running a hoof through her light blue mane.
“She's very sick.” Maud didn't hesitate.
Lyra looked back to Maud. Then to the food. “So you- You can sell me the cakes?”
“Yes. I can sell you the cakes. I can't bake any, though. The last time I tried to bake a cake, it didn't taste very good. Isn't that right, Boulder?” It was only now that Lyra noticed a rock on the counter. “It tasted so bad, Boulder wouldn't even eat any. Then again, Boulder doesn't eat much in the first place. He’s never very hungry.” Maud stared at Boulder.
“The rock?” Lyra pointed at the rock on the counter.
“Not just any rock. Boulder is my rock.” If Maud managed to crack a smile, or put some affection into her speech, Lyra might have found this quite sweet. As it was, she did not.
“Right.” Lyra looked towards the door. Considered it. How much did she really need that cake? Sugarcube Corner was clearly having… a strange day. But, Celestia, have you ever seen such a tasty looking cherry tart? Deep breaths, now. “How much is the cherry tart?”
Maud looked through the selection of pastries on offer: Delicious looking cupcakes, tarts, cinnamon buns, chocolate swirls, croissants, muffins… even some savoury pastries and breads. She went to check the price, but found herself lost within the selection. “Sorry, which one is the cherry tart?”
“The, uh…” Lyra planted her face in her hoof. “The one with cherries .”
“Oh. That makes sense.” Maud grabbed a note from behind the counter. “It says it's two bits.”
“Two bits. You do know how to count them, right?” Lyra chuckled to herself as she got out her money.
“Yes. I learnt how to count when I was a filly.”
“That was a joke.” Lyra placed her bits on the counter.
“Oh. Well it wasn't very funny.” Maud grabbed the cherry tart. Tried to at least. “Which one did you say the cherry tart was again?”
Lyra sighed. “The one with the cherries.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Maud grabbed a cherry tart and placed it on the counter. “I hope you enjoy.”
“Thanks.” Lyra took the tart, and walked off. As she cantered out the door, she took one last look at Maud and shook her head.
“What a weird customer, right Boulder?” Maud, too, shook her head.
As Apple Bloom walked through the door, the bell rang. She cantered over to the tasty treats on sale. “Hey, Pinkie P-” Apple Bloom re-examined the pony behind the counter. “Hey, you ain’t Pinkie! Ain’t you her sister?”
“No, I’m Maud. Wait -” Maud waited for a moment “- Yeah. I’m Pinkie’s sister.”
“Right. Why ain’t Pinkie here?” Apple Bloom crooked her head as she asked.
“She’s sick.”
“It ain’t-” Apple Bloom was interrupted very quickly.
“She’s very sick.”
“Oh. She gon’ get better?” Apple Bloom frowned.
Maud nodded. “She always does.”
“Right. Well just so you know…” A horrid thought was forming in Apple Bloom’s head. Or more actually, it was forming in her rumbling stomach. “Pinkie usually- Pinkie usually gives me the cake for free.” She grinned awkwardly to hide her lie. Honestly, Pinkie would give her the cakes for free if Applejack had let her, but Applejack was a little too scared of hurting Pinkie’s business. “For- for free.” Apple Bloom nodded her head a little too much.
“Oh, okay.” Maud nodded too, joining in with Apple Bloom.
“Yeah, I’ll get-” Apple Bloom gulped as she spoke. Dug her hooves into the floor. “I’ll get a cherry tart.”
“Oh. That’s good. I don’t really know any of the other ones.” Maud ducked behind the counter and took out the pastry. “Here you go. Free of charge.”
“Yep! Free!” Apple Bloom rushed to the counter, not making eye contact. “That’s how it always is! Pinkie gives me the food for free.” She nodded again as she took the tart. “That’s how- that’s…” Apple Bloom didn’t finish her thought. She stared at the floor for a moment, before just turning around and running out the store. Not looking back.
She stood outside, holding the tell-tale tart in her hooves. She stared at it - heart wrenching itself in and out, sweat making itself known on her coat. Apple Bloom sighed and shook her head. “I’m a Cutie Mark Crusader criminal… I gotta get rid of the evidence.” She brought the tart to her mouth, readied to take a bite. No - she shook her head. Criminals don’t get treats. Instead, Apple Bloom rushed to the nearest trash can. As she snuck up to it, she tried to hide herself, scrunched herself to the floor. Crawled over and chucked the tart in. “Phew.” It was only as Apple Bloom finally brought herself from the floor, looked up, that she realised she was standing right in front of Sugarcube Corner’s window - Maud right behind it, looking down at her.
“Have a good day.” Maud continued to stare at Apple Bloom, who just nodded and backed away. Maud furrowed her brow and looked back to Boulder.
Another bell ring. Another customer. Maud didn’t look up from the pastries, simply saying “Do you want a cherry tart? I’m good at serving that one.”
“Oh, um… I'm just here to drop off some post.” It was the nasally voice of the local mailmare, Derpy. She had a box wrapped under one of her wings. “Did you say cherry tart?”
“Yeah. Cherry tart.” Maud punctuated her remark with exactly two nods.
Derpy considered it for a moment. “What's in a cherry tart?”
A pause, Maud struggled to remember. Then, pop! It was there: “Cherries.”
“Oh. That makes sense.” Derpy posited.
“Yeah. It's a helpful name.” Maud agreed.
Derpy tried to place the box on the counter with her wing. She failed. The box fell to the floor, and Derpy scrambled to pick it back up with her hooves. It wasn't working.
Maud looked a little worried. “Do you need help?”
“I'm fine.” Derpy looked up at Maud, still awkwardly scrambling about on the floor. “This happens all the time.”
“Oh. Okay.” Maud watched.
Derpy got the box between her hooves, but as she went to stand up, she lost balance and fell. “Oops. Let me just…” Derpy pushed the box flat against the counter. She held it against the surface with one hoof, lifting it slightly. She then commandeered herself around the box, supporting it from underneath with her wing. She took her hoof away, lifting her wing higher. She now proudly held the box over the counter. “Ta-da!”
Maud grabbed the box from Derpy. “Thank you.”
“Hey, what did you say that tart with the cherries was?”
“Cherry tart. I learned that this morning.”
“I'll take one of those!” Derpy reached into her bag for some bits. She spilt them on the floor. “Uh oh.” She looked up at Maud. “How many bits?”
“Two bits.” Maud plucked a cherry tart from the display as Derpy searched for change on the floor. “Are you sure you don't need any help?”
Derpy had managed to grab a couple of bits in her maw. “Nope!” As she opened her mouth to speak, they fell right out. “Oh.” She planted her face back to the floor and began biting at the bits. After a few seconds had passed, she managed to hassle the coins back into her mouth. She reared up to the counter, and spit them out. She then grabbed the tart and shovelled it down as fast as she could, leaving red stains around her lips. “You know, it's a shame Pinkie's not feeling well.”
“Oh, you know?” Maud was surprised.
Derpy nodded. “Everypony knows! Ponies like to, uh… talk a lot. About different things! And one of them is that Pinkie is sick.” Derpy nodded again. “So somepony told me that. While I was delivering mail.” Derpy pointed at the box on the counter. “Not that, though. I delivered that here.”
“That's true.” Maud remembered Derpy delivering the package to Sugarcube Corner.
“Oh, well bye. It's nice to see you, uh…” Derpy began to canter off, but looked back to Maud. “I don't think I know you. Bye!”
“What about the rest of your bits?” Maud sort of nodded to the few coins still left on the ground.
Derpy thought about it for a moment. “You can keep the change.”
“MAUD!!!” Pinkie’s voice cried from the top of the stairs.
“Pinkie, you’re coming down? But you’re sick.” Maud was right.
“I’m VERY sick -” Pinkie nodded “- But I CAN’T SPEND ANOTHER SINGLE SECOND WITHOUT MY SISTER!” Pinkie tried to canter down to the counter but she could barely keep herself upright. In fact, she tripped down the last couple of steps. She stuck a hoof to her head - “Oops. I’m a little dizzy.” She grinned.
“You need to go back to bed, Pinkie. You need rest.”
“But it’s SOOOOOO boring! Can’t we just talk for a LITTLE bit?!”
Maud thought about it. “Just for a bit. Then you go get some sleep.”
Pinkie stamped her hooves on the floor in celebration. “YAY! How is it working in Sugarcube Corner? Isn't it just SO GREAT?!”
Maud reflected on the time she had today. “It's… strange. Everypony here acts so strangely.”
Pinkie grinned. “I know! Isn't it so great?!”
Maud smiled. “It is pretty great. You know, everypony is worried about you. They want you to get better.”
“I AM getting better. Look!” Pinkie stood tall and took a deep breath, prepared to show off with some grand stunt. Instead, her face wrapped itself into some sour look as she gulped. “Nevermind. I threw up in my mouth a little.” She stuck her tongue out. “yuch.”
Maud shook her head. “You really need to get some rest.”
“Oh, come on! Not yet! You haven't told me anything I've missed!”
“What you've missed? Let me think.” Maud held a hoof to her chin. “A lot of cherry tarts. They seem pretty popular. Apple Bloom wanted one so I gave it to her for free.”
“FINALLY! Do you KNOW how long I've been trying to stop her from paying?! Like… At least a day!” Pinkie was flailing her hooves as she spoke. “SO. LONG.”
“She didn't eat it.”
“Oh.”
“Ponies here are strange.”
Pinkie nodded. “Anything else AWESOME happen?”
Maud thought. “Not really. Oh, you came down. But you already know about that.”
“Yup!” Pinkie started to nod even harder and more violently than before. Then she threw up in her mouth again. Some silence for a bit as the two ponies thought. “You know, maybe I should get some rest. But it's SOOO LONELY up there.” Pinkie frowned.
“Hmmm. I'd love to go up and keep you company, Pinkie, but the ponies of Ponyville have begun to rely on me for their confectionery needs.” Maud began to consider her options. “Oh, I know. Boulder can keep you company.” Maud picked up Boulder and held him out to Pinkie.
“REALLY?!” Pinkie began to tear up. “Are you sure? I don't wanna make him sick!”
“Boulder's strong. He's got a good immune system. He'll keep you company.” Maud extended her hoof as much as she could, Boulder on full display.
Pinkie took Boulder and began to cry. “I LOVE YOU MAUD…”
“I love you too, Pinkie.” Maud shed a single tear. “I'd give you a hug but I think that would be a hygiene risk for the customers.”
Little Pieces Of Paper With "No" Written On Them
Author's Note
Short desc.: Poem written in character as derpy.Reasons for inclusion: Originally intended for my poetry collection Pony Poems , but was not included as I felt it was too similar in purpose to (and not as good as) Fluttershy's Poem.Extra notes: Spelling and grammar mistakes are deliberate.
Derpy's Poem [POEM]
Zipping between houses,
Woosh!
to make my deliveries on time!
and the birds join in!
to get my deliveries on time!
now the deliveries are done…
I miss them…
they’ll come back!
tomorrow,
Little Pieces Of Paper With "No" Written On Them
My Boy - Poem for Luna [POEM]
Author's Note
Short desc.: Poem written for Luna.Reasons for inclusion: Intended as a followup to Poem for Luna from my Pony Poems poetry collection. Unfortunately, I don't feel it's as good.Extra notes: Title is reference to the track "My Boy - Twin Fantasy" by Car Seat Headrest. Chosen to allude to the lyrics of the track, especially the line "My boy, we don't see each other much." I have come to realise since that this was a lot more relevant and telling than I originally considered.
My Boy - Poem for Luna [POEM]
I smiled this morning
thinking about you, Luna
wherever you are.
Up on that moon?
I smiled.
thinking you might be smiling too.
I don't count
How long has it been?
Sometimes
because if you don’t visit
it’s not
I want it to be my fault.
Not that it’s your fault.
Not that there’s something wrong with you.
You’re busy.
Being busy isn’t a crime.
You don’t have to-
I mean I still think about…
It’s not your fault.
Little Pieces Of Paper With "No" Written On Them
Anon Leaves Town (for Runic) [STORY]
Author's Note
Short desc.: Anon leaves town.Reasons for inclusion: HiE, short, atypical of my writing.Extra notes: Edited / partially rewritten for inclusion here. Originally written for Runic Treetops during a period in which he was experiencing Anon burnout.
Anon Leaves Town (for Runic) [STORY]
The Golden Oak Library was often a quiet place it was, after all, a library - but where the silence there usually felt... warm, today it was cold. Ice cold. It bounced and scattered off the shelves and windows and little ornaments scattered about, made itself very, very known.
"Leaving?" Twilight was incredulous.
"Yeah. Leaving." Anon couldn't bare to look Twilight in the eyes. How could he? How could anyone?
"Like... Leaving ?"
"Yeah. I'm going." Anon continued to stare at his lap, rubbing one of his arms with the other.
"Going where ?" Twilight gestured around the oak room, as if it would elucidate anything. It didn't.
"I dunno." Anon was still scratching at his arm, legs awkwardly crossed. He just couldn't force eye contact. "I was thinking I'd just... Go. Walk somewhere. See where I end up?"
"So, you're going on a walk. Okay" Twilight giggled at her clear misunderstanding of the situation. A new species turns up in Ponyville, makes friends with everyone... Breaks his heart. Fixes it again. Then he just leaves a year and a half later? Of course not! "See, I thought you were leaving . Like, forever." Twilight laughed again.
That silence welled up again - piercing - before Anon's gulp broke through. "I am." He stared out the windows. Stared at ponies walking by. "I- I gotta go."
Twilight did not respond. She stared at Anon for a moment. Managed half of a laugh, swallowed the rest of it. Shook her head.
Anon managed to finally look at her. Right in the eyes, this time. Staring through those purple wells, God, it wasn't easy. "I know this... seems..." He stopped for a moment. Managed his own half of that laugh Twilight had started. "Sudden." He laughed again. It wasn't funny.
"Sudden? Sudden's an UNDERSTATEMENT. What about- What about everypony else? NO, no. Scratch that." Twilight stopped too. Tried to find the words, dig inside, scratch them out. She blurted out the only one her thoughts could form: "WHY?"
Anon thought for a few seconds. "I've found peace. And it's nice. But I miss... I miss getting hurt. Making mistakes. You know, things being... bad ."
Pause. "You're insane."
The two steeped in more of that silence for a minute or so. Barely looking at each other, barely anywhere else. The floor beneath them seemed weak, maybe even as weak as their hearts.
Anon spoke up again. "Maybe. It's, uh..." - he laughed - "Irrational. It's my heart. It's my soul... I gotta go." Some more silence. "I gotta go. I'm sorry."
Twilight wanted to speak. Any words failed in some choke. She just cried.
Anon stood up and walked over to her. Stroked her mane - stroked her mane that way she loved. Start at the front, slight ruffle through the bangs, slow down by her ear, then a quick brush through the rest. "I might come back. Maybe."
Twilight looked up to Anon, let him continue petting, working through that impossible stress, that heavy, heavy air - then he stopped.
He just held her. Hugged her, tight.
Tried to comfort her.
"I don't know. I'm sorry." Anon couldn't lie. Not anymore.
Silence. Some pressure welled up in Twilight's head, worked it's way through her eyes and snout in horrible bouts of tears and snot. Those chokes, awkward little bobs of the head where she desperately tried to stop. Then a swallow. And she shook her head - shook the tears from her eyes, shook some words from her throat. "Pinkie- Pinkie is gonna have to throw the best- The best going away party. Ever."
They held each other tighter than ever now. Didn't let go, couldn't let go. Twilight folded herself in, put her hoof around him, held on, held damn tight.
They shared this.
Their last, their one, their only.
Just for a moment.
Everypony gathered at the edge of town. Everypony. Anon had made quite a splash - he... made ponies happy. They all knew him. They wanted to thank him. To hug him. To say goodbye. They trotted over, shared words and gifts he could never use. Just spent time with each other, while they could. Recounted old memories and hoped, secretly, that new ones may still come. I took a long time for everyone to be ready. Anon had planned to leave at noon, and the sun was already starting to set. Anon had made quite a splash.
He cried. A lot. Why did it hurt him so much to follow his heart? Wasn't this what he was taught to always do? To stay true to himself? He wanted to but, God, did it hurt.
Everypony continued to wave, cry, yippee, give well wishings, but only one pony pushed through the front of the crowd. Twilight. She had a simple question, one that flowed smooth from a rehearsed face. A face whose occassional twitches were the only clue to everything bubbling beneath. "Do you know where you're going yet?"
Anon paused for a moment before he responded. He never told anypony. Not yet. "I was thinking... I'd see what it's like in The Everfree Forest."
Some gasps in the crowd - ponies too nosy not to listen in. Too afraid not to get closure. Twilight stayed as strong as she could, closed her eyes. Melted into that face she practiced. "The Everfree Forest?"
"I want to see what it's like. I wanna..." Anon trailed off. He never was good at expressing himself. Not with words, anyhow. "I think it's what I'm meant to do."
Nopony argued with him, as much as they wanted. Destiny is strange, isn't it? But it's not a call to ignore. Something to shut off, no. Everypony knew this - as much as they didn't want to. So they let Anon trudge off. They watched, as he walked down the path, slipped off into the distance - disappeared into the sunset. And that was the last time they saw him.
There's a rumour. About The Everfree Forest. Ponies say you can hear something - right in the golden hour, just between the oaks and pines, ponies go out... They hear something, the faintest sound in the properly pricked ear: they say that if you listen closely, you can still hear his name... whistling through the treetops.
Little Pieces Of Paper With "No" Written On Them
Author's Note
Short desc.: Poem written in character as Big MacIntosh.Reasons for inclusion: Originally intended for my poetry collection Pony Poems , but was not included because it made heavier use of layout that I couldn't properly do in fimfic, and because it's more of a gag than a poem.Extra notes: Big MacIntosh is best pony and I will accept no substitute. Unless that subsitute is Maud Pie or Shining Armor. They're also best pony. This author's note is longer than the poem itself.
Big Mac's Poem [POEM]
Sometimes
one word
is enough.
Eeyup.
Little Pieces Of Paper With "No" Written On Them
Author's Note
Short desc.: Poem written in character as Discord.Reasons for inclusion: Originally written for my poetry collection found object but ultimately not included for being too self-obsessed and not really much of an actual poem.Extra notes: Titled in original document as "Discord (crappy, sorry)".
Discord's Poem [POEM]
Feh!un droll and un couth.boring you?
Little Pieces Of Paper With "No" Written On Them
One last trip around, for me. [POEM]
Author's Note
Short desc.: Poem.Reasons for inclusion: Originally written for my poetry collection found object but ultimately not included.Extra notes: Sort of an alternate version of the actually included poem Those Two Lovers! The title comes from an unrelated (at the time) unpublished fic I wrote, "One last trip around, for you." The fic has since been published here .
One last trip around, for me. [POEM]
One thousand years of you and me,
But that's not yet, so don't let's cry,
Here in tow, and scrunched together,
words of love that leave in breath,
Little Pieces Of Paper With "No" Written On Them
untitled dialogue fic [STORY]
Author's Note
Short desc.: Twilight visits Rainbow Dash in hospital.Reasons for inclusion: Written mainly an experiment, using only dialogue and no prose. I feel the characterisation is subpar enough to not warrant it's own release.Extra notes: Unrelated to the dialogue only contest - it was written before that was announced. Can you tell I hate writing dialogue?
untitled dialogue fic [STORY]
'How are you doing, Dash?'can fly down here.'does hurt.'not going to visit you in hospital.'uncool . But it was nice. A little. You don't appreciate soft things as much when you're allowed to get out bed more than, like, twice a day... Do you think I'm gonna be able to walk after this? I mean, the flying is one thing, but I haven't... I didn't even think about walking . In bed for, like, two weeks. What if I can't even run anywhere?'excuse myself , that was enough to keep my legs going.'Will be, maybe. This is still, like, the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I never knew hospitals were so... sad. And boring, but also sad.'wish I had more time to do it.'normal ponies perfer doing . And I'm not really doing anything in here. Other than thinking.'are a genius. Happy?'
Little Pieces Of Paper With "No" Written On Them
lake superior agate [POEM]
Author's Note
Short desc.: Poem about a lake superior agate.Reasons for inclusion: Early version of agate from found object before being rewritten.Extra notes: The lake superior agate is the rock included in the cover for found object, and also a subject of discussion in the first episode of the TV show Joe Pera Talks With You.
lake superior agate [POEM]
you were a gift
