Flurry In A Hurry

by deadpansnarker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Flurry Heart, Comedy
Length: 2330

Now at that 'tricky' age of nine, a moody Flurry Heart is left with her aunt Twilight for the afternoon while Shining Armour goes off to take care of... something. Their time together is more eventful than either one expects...

Now at that 'tricky' age of nine, a moody Flurry Heart is left with her aunt Twilight for the afternoon while Shining Armour goes off to take care of... something. Their time together is more eventful than either one expects...

Picture credit to Aleximus Prime on DeviantArt

So I heard there was some kind of Shining Armour Is A Terrible Father Contest on, and I wanted in.

Let's see how we do!

Published 2024-03-06 23:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-06 23:50:00 UTC

"It's not FFAAIIRR!!"

“Off I go, Precious! No turning back now! Wish me luck!”

“...But Daddy!”

“Sorry Princess, no time to stop and chat. The Changelings are revolting, and it’s up to me and the rest of the big hitters at the palace to stop them. ‘Revolting’... ha ha, get it?”

“Y-Yes Dad, but if you’ll just listen to me…”

“No time to chat now Pumpkin; the rest of the troops are waiting for me, and as their Chief Soldier and Lord Commander I can’t let them down. You’ll understand when you’re a leader one day, until then I want you to remain as sweet and as innocent as you are now.”

“Daddy… please! Don’t you think you’re being a little…”

“Alright ladies, this is really it! Twily, please guard my treasure with your life while I’m gone, and definitely don’t let any strange creatures in while I’m gone… especially smooth-sounding colts. I can protect my pride and joy from the perils of underage dating when I’m here, but while I’m away it’s up to you to make sure her virtue remains intact.”

“D-Dad…!! How could you…”

“Er, I’ll certainly do my best, Big Brother.” Even Twilight seemed a bit embarrassed by her elder sibling’s off-colour ‘humorous’ remark there, as she held the door open for him whilst his nine-year old daughter Flurry Heart cringed in the background.

“Thank you, Twily… I knew I could count on you.” Shining Armour beamed on his way outside, but stopped halfway through the threshold to frown at a recent memory. “This home invasion couldn’t have come at a worse time, what with her mother being away in Las Pegasus gambling away all her inheritance on the slots. I told her before she left, I said ‘Cadence, you’re doing a terrible, terrible thing here’…”

“Actually Shining, she’s doing a good thing… don’t you remember? She’s chaperoning the ‘Gold Horseshoe Gal’s’ annual trip there as per my request, and the small amount of bits she’s taking along are her own. I think they’re mostly going to be watching stage shows and magician acts while they’re there anyway… didn’t we already discuss all this in great detail the other day…?”

“O-Oh, so we did. Guess I better apologise to wifey when I get home later after my glorious victory, and make peace. What do you think she might like? Flowers? Chocolates? Promises I don’t intend to keep?”

“You better grovel like you were before a judge by the sound of things, and in answer to your other question… you know that spectacular silver pendant in the window of Glittering Prize’s jewellery store encrusted with diamonds and inset with rubies?”

gulp “Y-Yes…?”

“Well, there’s your answer. I think you’d head out now, though… we’ve been talking for so long, the war might be over by the time you and your battalion charge into battle.”

“T-That’s right! Brave heroes, one and all! And to gee myself along the way, think I’ll sing a little song from my formative days as a wet-behind-the-ears cadet. We’re off to fight the Changelings, the Changelings, the Changelings. They really are strange things…”

Slam! “Phew, as much as I love your father, he can be a bit of a hoofful sometimes.” Twilight wasted no time in firmly shutting the castle door as Shining Armour toddled off on his great adventure in high spirits. “Hey, that reminds me! Did I ever tell you about the time we decided to raid the fridge together at the dead of night, but I accidentally prodded him with my horn, he dropped the blancmange, then our parents’ light flicked on, and then…”

“Forget the old stories! I don’t care! And you can stop pretending; I don’t want to be here any more than you want me to be here!” Flurry Heart was in a serious huff with her auntie, her father, her mother… in fact, probably the entire world and the meaning of life itself. “Also, why do you have to encourage him like that? You know he listens to every word you say.”

“H-He does?! Oh right, of course he does. That’s what smart little sisters are for, I guess!” Twilight looked momentarily surprised at her niece’s recent revelation, before a warm appreciative smile spread across her features. “And even though he and his Canterlot All-Stars are going to face the Changeling Champions in a home game of Buckball, you know he takes it very seriously. Besides, I think his team might actually have a chance of clinching the play-offs this year. You see, they have an eager new young recruit called Snails who I happen to know is…”

“B O R I N G. Do I have to spell it out for you, Auntie Twilight? I know you’d rather be judging that Friendship reading seminar at the local academy, but you had to cancel because of me. Well, don’t let me stop you! I’ll just hang out with Spike while you’re gone; at least he can blow smoke rings then fly through them which is kinda cool… I guess.”

“Hate to disappoint you, but Spike's recently undergone a bit of a growth spurt and is probably too big to do that sort of thing anymore. Also, he's er… not here right now. I sent him in my place to compere that contest. While he might not quite share my enthusiasm for the written word, his experience in helping me with my Friendship reports over the years will undoubtedly prove invaluable in assessing the winner. At least, I hope it does… Flurry Heart!! Where do you think you’re going now, young filly?!”

“To have a look around. I was falling asleep there, listening to you! And it’s nowhere near my bedtime.” The young alicorn had given Twilight the slip when the older mare had let her guard down for a second, and was even now flying around with wild abandonment, flitting from room to room looking for something, anything to relieve her brain-numbing ennui. “Books, books, books, Auntie! Don’t you care about anything else? Haven’t you even got a coltfriend yet? My friends all think that’s a bit weird…”

“H-Hey, wait a… those are some incredibly rare first editions you’re tossing about there, young lady! And that personally inscribed one with the golden spine was given to me by Celestia herself, upon completion of my first spell!” The intrinsic sentimental value of Twilight’s vast literature collection seemed to have escaped the attention of her hyperactive niece, and it was all the exhausted older alicorn could do to catch them with her magic. “And another thing! I’m perfectly capable of ruling Equestria on my own! The day I care about what a bunch of chatty schoolchildren think of me and my lovelife, is the day…”

“I give up… there’s nothing to do here. I might as well curl up in the corner and die of boredom, for all anypony cares!” Flurry Heart was nearly halfway through her quest to tear the place apart, but then decided she was sick of that too… and flew back down to sit at the bottom of the stairs in a sulk. “Mummy is gambling with all the old fogeys far away, Daddy is playing stupid sports with his guards, and all you want to do while I’m here is play word association games. If I wanted to do schoolwork, I’d wait ‘til I got to school thank-you-very-much!!”

“D-Don’t say that, Flurry Heart! I’m your cool Auntie Twilight! I-I can be… fun.” Twilight joined her stroppy niece on the lowest step, trying to sound a lot more convincing in her answer than she privately was. “Here, let’s play Hide And Seek! In this huge castle, that’s bound to be a challenge. To make it easier, I’ll conceal myself in the West Wing, then you’ll have exactly five minutes to…”

“Oh, great. What are you going to do next… feed me mushy peas?” Flurry Heart responded to Twilight’s half-hearted suggestion with brazen sarcasm, and inched away from her aunt’s welcoming wing. “I’m sick of being treated like a baby! I can’t eat any pudding, except on a Sunday. I can’t listen to any pop music, in case it ‘rots my brain’. I can’t pick my own clothes, my maids have to do it for me. I can’t even have any male friends around, unless they’re supervised by the Palace Guard at all times. I’m surprised I can even wipe my own nose; in fact, don’t tell my Dad I said that. He might get ideas…”

“W-Wait… is all that true?” An astonished Twilight couldn’t believe her own ears about the strict rules her niece apparently lived under, and pressed the younger pony for further details. “I mean, I can kind of understand about the pop music thing… but everything else? That’s just not right! Do you want to tell me more, If you feel comfortable about it?”

“W-Well… I guess, if you don’t mind listening. Thank you, Auntie.”

“Always, Flurry Heart. Always.”

And that’s how the pair of magical mares spent their free afternoon together, with Flurry Heart complaining about virtually every aspect of her super-restrictive existence and a rapt Twilight sagely taking it all in, gasping with shock at certain points whilst strenuously scribbling notes during others.

Occasionally snacks and drinks were levitated over in-between brief breaks in dialogue, but for the most part it was just a troubled filly unloading everything on her mind to a concerned aunt, whose growing horror at what she heard seemed to exacerbate with every strained sob and loud wail from her young charge.

And because this had allegedly been going on for years, there was plenty of juicy material to pass the time with.

In fact, in as good a case of perfect timing as you’re likely to get, as soon as the
distraught filly had finished uttering her final heartbreaking syllable…

The doorbell rang.

“We creamed them! We slaughtered them! We massacred them! Literally. All out, with two innings to spare. Even Thorax turning himself into a mutant octopus wielding eight bats at once halfway through didn’t help the poor suckers one bit! The boys did us proud! Speaking of ‘proud’, where is my precious pumpkin Princess? I want to show her the ball-shaped trophy her Daddy fought so hard for, which is going right next to our wedding photos on the mantelpiece… h-huh? What’s the matter, Twily?”

“Please don’t ‘Twily’ me, Big Brother. As you know, it’s been a while since I visited the Crystal Empire. I’ve been hearing some rather… disturbing things about how overprotective you are towards Flurry Heart now, and I just want to tell you it’s not right for you to treat her that way. Her windows all have bars on them? She’s not allowed to burp in public? She can’t even ride a bike?! I know you and Cadence love her more than life itself, but don’t you think all these measures are a bit over the top? Or rather, a lot?”

“Um, Twilight. About that…”

“You weren’t like this when we were kids, Shining. What could be going through your head right now, to put so many unfair restrictions on her? Having a dedicated servant to check her food and drink for poison every meal time isn’t just being paranoid, it’s insane. I know it’s not my place to tell you how to raise your daughter, but you always said if I had something to get off my chest I shouldn’t hesitate… well, here I am.”

“Erm, Twilight before you go any further…”

“Yes, Big Brother, yes! I would love to hear why you think it’s justifiable why she’s not allowed out at weekends, or why all her playmates have to sign waivers, or why she has to wear gloves whilst using a knife and fork. This ought to be good!”

“...Did you ever consider she might just be lying?”

“Wha… huh?”

“She’s nine years old, Twily. The doctors say it’s just a phase she’s going through, but if it carries on maybe we should take her to a specialist. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I was so pumped up for the big game I completely forgot. Anyway, where is she? Cadence gets home by balloon in a little while, and I want to be back in the Crystal Empire by early evening to start on my long journey of redemption.”

“She’s just in the Throne Room waiting for us. Okay, Flurry Heart; you can come out now. What do you have to say for yourself, now that your father has informed me… hey, where’s she gone?!”

The answer to that pertinent question could be found even now sailing above the spires of Canterlot chuckling to herself, her plan to temporarily distract both her aunt and father so she could make a quick getaway succeeding beyond even her wildest dreams.

“Considering how smart she is, Auntie Twilight can sure be dumb sometimes. If only Daddy had taken me the thousand-millionth time I asked, I wouldn’t have had to do this. Anyway, what time do the Wild Stallions kick off their epic World Tour in Fillydelphia? If I fly non-stop in this direction for two hours straight, I might just make the opening song...”

Author's Note

My reasons for writing this are a) I've only had Flurry as a main character in two of my fics and I wanted to try depicting her as a bit of a brat, like (let's face it) a lot of kids her age will be and b) all that SWEET SWEET money I'll get from winning the contest. New Chevy here we come... :raritystarry:

Wait, what do mean there's no big bonanza cash prize?! Only 50 bucks?! I don't even know how much that is in British pounds! :fluttercry:

Oh well, I suppose the appreciation and love of all my fellow authors is enough. I guess. :trixieshiftright:

(Seriously though, thanks for reading and catch ya later!) :twistnerd: