Shining Armor’s (Not So) Very Great and Powerful Day

by ChibiRenamon

Rating: teen
Tags: King Sombra, Adventure, Shining Armor, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Flurry Heart, Comedy, Trixie
Length: 7481

Trixie solves a friendship problem. Flurry Heart saves the Crystal Empire. Nothing about this is sane.

This morning, Shining Armor thought that his daughter's goth phase was his biggest worry. Now, he has to deal with a retired stage magician, a smoke monster that refuses to stay dead, the dumbest possible parallel universe, AND his daughter's goth phase.

Nothing about this makes any sense... and why does King Sombra seem oddly afraid of Trixie...?

Quite possibly the crackiest of all crack fics I have ever written for any fandom to date. I wrote this in about a week and had an absolute BLAST writing it. :rainbowlaugh: Contains...

Trixie's verbal tic maxed out to the point where it becomes a plot point of sorts

brooding goth Flurry Heart, complete with goth name

card tricks

the Crystal Empire having quite possibly worse security protocols than it does in canon

nopony taking anything quite as seriously as they probably should

Shining Armor making a few rather questionable choices involving his daughter's safety

card tricks

a magic mirror portal that ought to be yeeted into the sun or moved to the SCP Foundation HQ

trace amounts of Applejack

an homage to the best Mumbo and Grian comedy skit from the Last Life series on YouTube

card tricks

Inspired by TWO contests!

Entering this into the Portal Transformations Contest I.

Also, after some consideration and checking with Muggonny, entering this into the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition. It blasted WAY past the max word count, but I'll just have to live with the wordcount penalty. :trixieshiftright:

Published 2024-03-08 01:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-08 01:10:00 UTC

A Story in Which Trixie Respects Name and Identity Choices Because Trixie Is Awesome and a Professional

Prince Shining Armor was having a day.

Not a good day.

Not a field day.

At least also not a bad day.

But-

The pony next to him let out a sigh.

-yyyeeeaaahhh...

Sitting on his throne (crystal) in his throne room (crystal) in his castle (wood) (ha, no, also crystal) in his kingdom (no, really, just guess), he felt... alone. Officially, Cadance was on a trip to discuss a trade agreement with Twilight over in Canterlot. Unofficially-

Princess Flurry Heart, the future ruler of this kingdom (let me check... yep, still crystal), let out a sigh that expertly conveyed several layers of exasperation.

Unofficially, Cadance had fled the country to cry into Twilight’s mane about how her teenage daughter was going through a phase, and Shining had been tasked with making sure that the kingdom would not get sucked into some void.

I bet that Flurry would like that, though... Shining risked a glance over at the second throne (yes, crystal, thanks for asking) in the room. Flurry was lying sideways on it in a way that would have broken the spine of most ponies. Whether Flurry was avoiding a trip to the emergency room (yeah, yeah) because of some secret alicorn power or because of her fluffy black lace dress was anypony’s guess.

It had taken a lot of effort, but Shining and Cadance had barely convinced Flurry not to dye her entire mane black. Ultimately, the black dye on her normally blue highlights looked okay on her otherwise violet mane - although Shining would rather spend a weekend in Tartarus than dare to share this opinion with his wife. Her black eyeshadow, however, was pushing it. And the outfit looked garish, especially combined with the black spike collar.

I have seen funeral attires that were less miserable than this.

Flurry Heart suddenly looked over at him and met his eyes. “Father,” she acknowledged his presence in a dull monotone.

Shining forced himself to smile. He was less fazed by her antics than his wife, but even his relaxed attitude had limits. “Are you bored, Flurry?”

She slowly rolled her eyes as if even the simple gesture required a colossal effort. “I am called Ebony Moonshine, Father.”

“Literally nopony calls you that.”

“Because literally nopony understands me,” Flurry whispered accusingly.

Shining knew better than to reply. From experience, there was no way through this conversation that would end well.

He looked up in relief when the large doors (crystal, surprise, surprise) of the throne room were pulled open by one of his guards (in a twist, the guard was also crystal). He approached the throne with measured steps and bowed briefly. “Your Highness.” He gave Flurry a short glance. “Princess Moonshine.”

Flurry Heart gave Shining a meaningful look.

Shining gave the guard an even meaningfuller look.

The guard merely gave him an apologetic shrug. “There is a parking violation.”

For once, father and daughter were united, if just through sheer confusion. “A... parking violation.”

“...yes, Your Highness.”

“You come here to inform me... of a parking violation.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” The guard shifted his weight a tiny bit. “A wagon of sorts is parked in what we assume is a no-parking zone.”

“In what you assume is a no-parking zone.” Shining was unable to keep the rising incredulity out of his voice.

“Well, it’s parked in the main corridor leading to the throne room. There technically aren’t any signs prohibiting-”

“It’s IN THE PALACE?” Shining snapped and got to his hooves.

“Well... yes... most corridors leading to the throne room are in the palace.”

“Are you telling me that somepony managed to sneak an entire WAGON into THIS PALACE and NOPONY NOTICED?” He glanced at the lone figure that had appeared in the still-open doors at some point. “This is a COMPLETE SECURI-” He did a double take when his brain had finally parsed the information his eyes had supplied. “Who the hay are you?”

The mare waltzed into the throne room like she owned the place, paying no attention to the multiple guards who were raising their swords menacingly. Most of her features were hidden under a garish wizard cape and matching wizard hat, but from what little Shining could see, she had a blue coat and a two-colored mane (cryst-... uh, errr, light blue and a very pale blue bordering on light grey). She seemed to know exactly at what point the guards would pounce her, and she stopped just before that invisible line. “BEHOLD,” she roared and took off her hat, revealing that she was a unicorn, “THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS ARRIVED!”

Shining Armor frowned deeply. The name rang a bell, but he wasn’t quite sure from where. He did have a hunch, though: “Are you one of Twilight’s idiotic friends?”

“One of Twilight’s idiotic friends?” Trixie was looking genuinely offended by this. “Trixie is Twilight’s GREATEST and MOST IDIOTIC friend!” She paused. “Wait, no...”

“Yeah, that checks out.” Shining motioned at the guards to stand down. “I presume that’s your wagon standing in a no-parking zone?”

“Trixie saw no signs prohibiting parking.”

Shining let out a sigh before leaning over towards Flurry Heart. “Aren’t you looking forward to dealing with such exciting royal conundrums soon?”

Flurry gave him a look. “Life is an endless cycle of agony and regret.”

“See, you’re already perfect for the job!” He flashed her a grin before focusing on Trixie again. “Before I ask you to move your vehicle: why are you here?”

Trixie hesitated, either because she wasn’t sure what to say or because she wasn’t sure, period. Knowing the average IQ of Twilight’s friends, Shining genuinely could not rule out the latter. “Trixie was sent here by a power far beyond your comprehension.”

Shining and Flurry exchanged quick looks. “Did the Cutie Map send you here?”

Trixie paused, then nodded weakly. “Trixie was sent here by a power exactly matching your comprehension.”

“Great. Wonderful.”

“Great and Powerful,” Trixie corrected him automatically.

Shining huffed. “Did it happen to mention why?”

“Trixie is afraid the Cutie Map does not provide mission briefings,” Trixie answered diplomatically.

“So some magic artifact just told you to go to some place, and... you did? No questions asked?”

“It admittedly sounded less absurd before you spelled it out.” Trixie coughed, sensing that she should elaborate. “Historically, it has sent ponies to help with friendship problems. However, given that it sent the Great and Powerful Trixie, odds are about even that you require a magic show. A well-paying magic show, hopefully.”

“...you’re a stage magician?”

“Well, technically a former stage magician. Trixie currently serves as a guidance counselor at the School of Friendship.”

“...you are a friendship guidance counselor who was sent here presumably to solve a friendship problem, and you thought that you were supposed to do a magic show?”

Trixie blinked at that. But it wasn’t the kind of blinking one did when faced with a revelation. Rather, it was the kind one did after hearing an utterly ridiculous question. “...yes, of course. Why else would it send Trixie?”

“...right.”

“Anyway.” Trixie gave him a look as if she was not the most insane pony in the room. “Princess Cadence-”

“Cadance.”

“-that’s what Trixie said, yes.” Trixie rolled her eyes. “She had a few choice words to say on the matter.”

“Did she now.”

Much to his surprise, Trixie reached into her hat and pulled out a scroll. She carefully unrolled it and cleared her throat. “Shining, if our daughter is still a goth when I come back in a week, you are sleeping on the couch. Forever.”

“WHAT.” He reached out with his magic and yanked the scroll from her grasp. He took a quick look at it and cursed when he immediately recognized Cadance’s impeccable hoofwriting. “What does she expect me to do? Invent some sort of un-gothification ray? And is she blaming me for Flurry Heart’s phase?”

“Ebony Moonshine,” the correction came swiftly.

“Nopony aside from that one guard-” Shining did a double take when he realized that it had been Trixie and not his daughter who had corrected him. He gave the magician a puzzled glare.

“Princess Cadence-”

“Cadance.”

“Is there an echo in this room?” Trixie gave the walls (crystal) a look. “Your wife mentioned that she calls herself that.”

“Yeah, but why do you?”

This time, Trixie seemed genuinely confused even beyond her otherwise condescending act. “Because... it’s her chosen name.” When Shining didn’t react, she seemed even more befuddled. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is a professional who respects everypony’s choices regarding personal identity.” She slowly tilted her head. “...why don’t you?”

Shining could feel everypony in the room staring at him. “I thought professionals have standards,” he growled. “And I refuse to be the bad guy for asking her to choose at least a slightly more fitting appearance.” He eyed Trixie’s outfit. “I presume your parents had a similar talk with you?”

“Parents?” Trixie laughed easily. “Trixie was spawned into this world by a power-”

“-far beyond my understanding, yes, yes,” he cut her off impatiently. “Look, I'll humor your antics. Park your vehicle somewhere else. Once you're back, we'll see to it that you'll get a nice room. You can do your little show, and then you can even help me pick the couch where I'll sleep for the next few weeks. Deal?”

“Very well,” Trixie said, “but only on one condition.”

Shinning struggled to maintain his composure. She imposes a condition on this most generous invitation? “Eh?”

Trixie smirked and pulled a deck of playing cards from her cape. “A bedazzlement of magic to keep you occupied while Trixie performs feats of parking hitherto unseen!"

“Oh yay, a card trick,” Shining muttered without any enthusiasm. “My favorite.”

“Trick? Tsk.” Trixie shuffled the deck with her magic. “True magic requires no tricks.” She fanned out the deck, presenting him with all the card faces while keeping them hidden from herself. “Pick a card, memorize it, show it around, put it back.” She watched as Shining picked a card and then turned around to show the fanned-out deck to Flurry and the guards in the throne room.

Shining also showed his card around and put it back into the deck once Trixie was facing him again. “This better be good,” he muttered, but deep down, he was trying to keep an eye out for the inevitable trick.

She shuffled the deck with practiced ease, then pulled a card from it. “BEHOLD! The King of Hearts!” She gave him a confident grin. “Trixie presumes this is your card. A somewhat obvious choice, but very fitting.”

Shining blinked, then snorted. “No, that’s not my card.” He gestured around. “And I have witnesses.”

Trixie shook her head indignantly. “Of course it’s your card!”

Ooooo, we have a sore loser on our hooves! It was a bit mean to take delight in the failings of some second-rate stage magician, but after all the trouble with Flurry Heart, he took what he could get. “Afraid not.”

“There is no way it could not have been the King of Hearts!” Trixie protested before fanning out the deck again. She grinned when Shining Armor gasped. “After all, this is an entire deck of Kings of Hearts.”

“What-... How-...” Shining stared at the deck with its more than fifty copies of the same card. “But I pulled the 6 of Clubs from it! It’s gone!”

“Don’t worry, it will surely pop up again somewhere.” She shrugged and placed the deck on the floor in front of her. “Trixie will return shortly!” And with that, she marched out of the throne room, motioning the guards to close the doors behind her.

It said a lot about her charisma that the guards did as they had been told.

Shining Armor sat in silence as he stared at the deck, barely resisting the urge to pick it up. “I’m not insane, right?” he finally asked his daughter. “She switched decks at some point. ...right?”

Flurry Heart blinked. “I... guess so?” The lack of snark or talk about how bleak existence was told him that she seemed genuinely intrigued.

He allowed himself a smile. Maybe there is still hope I won’t have to sleep on the couch. On the other hoof... maybe Twilight’s crazy friend has a point?

It was the last moment of peace Shining was going to get today.

There was a massive BOOM! as something slammed against the doors. (Right. So. Remember that part about those doors being crystal? That was technically a lie. They used to be, but Shining Armor had picked up a few things about security during his time as Captain of the Royal Guards, so the doors were now made out of reinforced and enchanted steel, with just a decorative crystal shell on top.) The guards were immediately on high alert, shouting orders over each other as they scrambled to form a line of defense. After a few seconds of relative silence, there was another BOOM! followed by muffled cursing.

Shining Armor exchanged looks with his guards. “Uh... PULL,” he finally shouted.

There was more muffled cursing before the doors were dramatically pulled open.

Shining nearly fell from his throne, his eyes wide in shock. “S-SOMBRA!?”

King Sombra, much like Trixie before him, strode into the throne room like he owned the place. Unlike Trixie, of course, he once had owned it. And as always, he was dressed in his full regalia, armor and cape and all. “Shining Armor!” he greeted the stallion on the throne with a cocky grin before casually sending most of the guards flying with a burst of magic. “It has been... a... while...” His voice trailed off as he gave Flurry Heart a look. “...who is that?”

“My daughter,” Shining snarled, but his anger was mostly just an act. Deep down, the former Captain of the Royal Guard was rapidly going through combat scenarios to find one that wouldn’t end with everypony in this room dead, captured, or mind-controlled.

Sombra gave her a second look. “...Flurry Heart?” he finally asked, his expression equal parts delighted and confused.

“It’s Ebony Moonshine,” Flurry corrected him. “And you are?”

“Ebony what?” Sombra blinked in confusion before giving Shining a questioning look.

Shining just groaned and made a “move along” gesture with his hoof.

“Right. I am King Sombra. I don’t expect you to remember me from the last time we met, but surely your parents mentioned me?” He gave her a cruel grin. “After all, they took what is rightfully mine.”

Flurry gave him a bored look before shrugging. “Subject may have come up.”

I knew it was a good idea to have Blueblood come over to give her a few lessons on diplomacy and manipulation, Shining thought when he saw Sombra shaking with rage.

“You will learn my name, foal,” he hissed. “And once I chain you up in the dungeons, I will make sure that you change out of this ridiculous outfit.” Another accusing look at Shining Armor. “Seriously, what is wrong with her?”

“It’s a phase,” Shining muttered.

“It is not a phase, Father!”

“Anyway-” Sombra tried to shift the focus back to his invasion or whatever he was up to this time.

“Look, I understand. You are growing up, and many young ponies experience the urge to rebel against the general order in some way or another-”

“This is not about rebellion! I chose to acknowledge the inherent bleakness of existence!”

“Could we focus, please?” Sombra asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. He took a menacing step forward.

Shining Armor narrowed his eyes and readied his shield spell.

“WHA-” Sombra yelped as he nearly slipped on the deck of cards that Trixie had placed on the floor. He recovered swiftly and eyed the cards. “Tsk. Say what you want about my reign of terror, but I at least took workplace safety seriously.” He gathered the cards with one hoof and sneered as he turned the deck around to look at it. “And why do you even possess an entire deck of the 6 of Clubs?”

“The what?” Shining Armor leaned forward and gasped when he got a good look at the cards Sombra was fanning out. “How did she swap the decks again? And how are all the cards the one I picked? I only told her seconds before she put it down...”

“Are you going to start making sense anytime soon?” Sombra asked. “It’s fine if the answer is no - it just means that I’ll get started with the murder and conquering sooner.”

Shining gestured this way and that, trying to decide where to begin. Finally, he just sighed. “It’s... Trixie.”

“Trixie,” Sombra repeated slowly, sounding unimpressed.

“Ugh... yeah. She’s... aggravating; you would love to murder her. Runs around with a wizard robe and hat all the time.”

Sombra twitched.

“And does, like, stage magic. You know the kind? I don’t know if you ever had that a thousand years or however long ago.”

“Stage magic?” Sombra whispered. For some reason, he was starting to look... nervous? “What did you say her name was again?”

“Trixie?”

“Actually, her proper name is the Great and Powerful Trixie,” Flurry corrected him.

“Eh, I thought that was more of a title,” Shining said, then frowned. “Wait, is this about her honoring the name you picked?”

“No,” Sombra whispered. He was starting to look positively terrified now. “No... this can’t be! Not here! Not in this world!”

“...are you okay? I know she can be annoying, but I feel that you’re overselling-”

“WHERE IS SHE?”

Shining Armor and Flurry Heart exchanged looks.

“We will never tell you, fiend!” Flurry decided to make her stand. “Darkness may reside within the hearts of ponies, but it is up to each and every one of us to push back against it in order-”

“DO NOT TEST ME, FOAL!”

“A test?” a voice came from behind him. “Trixie is starting to suspect that she should have packed school supplies after all.”

“Y-you!” Sombra whirled around and wheezed when he saw Trixie standing behind him. “By the Crystal Heart, it really is you! The outfit! The mannerisms! How is this possible? I thought that nothing-...” He shook his head. “No... you are of this world!”

“Would you like to know what is also of this world?” Trixie had either not received a briefing on the previous fights against Sombra, or she was extremely skilled at playing it cool. “Breathmints.”

“YOU ARE THE SOURCE!” Sombra roared and started to turn into smoke. “YOU WILL FIX THE MIRROR!” And with that, he swirled around Trixie and slammed straight through one of the large windows with her.

“GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!” Flurry screamed and spread her wings.

“NO!” Shining used all of his magic to pull her back before tackling her to the ground. “SPOTTERS!” he snapped at some of his pegasus guards. “I NEED EYES IN THE SKY!”

“GET OFF OF ME! WE SHOULD HAVE HELPED HER!”

“WE WILL!” Shining looked her in the eye and carefully let go of her. “We will,” he repeated in a more measured tone. “If he had just wanted to murder her, he would have done so here. He wants something from her, and that buys us time. We gear up, we follow him, we save the day.” He paused. “And most importantly, we will never tell your mother that I agreed to take you with me.”

This is a terrible idea, Ebony Moonshine thought.

She glanced over at her father, who was sitting next to her in one of the royal carriages, and frowned. She had known him her entire life, or so she had thought. He had always been all smiles around her. Even when she had given herself a radical makeover, he had been much more supportive than she had expected. Sure, he still failed to acknowledge her name and assumed that it was just a phase, but he was an absolute saint next to her mother. However, she had never seen him like this.

Shining Armor had worn his chest piece and helmet before in her presence, of course. The design was inspired by his old glory days as Princess Celestia’s Captain of the Royal Guards, recolored to match the colors of the Crystal Empire. But so far, it had always been dress-up or practice. It had always been her father, dressed in fancy armor.

Now, however, that stallion was gone. This was a warrior, a professional. The sword by his side was not for show, and he gave orders in a tone that shut down any snark or semantic corrections.

This was a terrible idea, we are going to war with some sort of immortal wizard, and somepony is going to die, she corrected her earlier thought. Also, Mom is going to murder whoever does not die. She shifted uncomfortably in her own chest armor. It was a hasty selection from the royal armory, and he had quietly cursed his wife about not letting him fashion a proper fit in the past. Plus a few more curses about not being allowed to teach his daughter even the basics of swordfighting. Ultimately, he had strapped a sheathed dagger to her left foreleg, just in case. She had not dared to ask if it would do any good against whatever smoke monster they were about to confront - a part of her suspected that he had given her the weapon just for his own peace of mind.

There were no maps of this area, or at least no useful ones. Any map would simply mark everything within a fifty-mile radius as “lots of snow, plus a couple of mountains.” So they were relying on the spotting team’s general directions and eyeballing it.

“There,” Shining Armor suddenly hissed and pointed at a dark speck in the infinite snowfield below them. “That cave must be it.”

He lowered his protective snow goggles. “Flurry, dispel the cold protection. You two, descend.”

The two pegasi pulling the carriage obeyed immediately. Ebony hesitated a moment but then lowered her own goggles and shut down her spell - a variation of the permanent protection granted by the Crystal Heart. A wave of cold air made her grit her teeth despite her natural alicorn resistances. Her father somehow didn’t even flinch.

“Get us lower, don’t stop, then circle around to a safe distance. We’ll signal you once we need you.”

“...don’t stop?” Ebony asked but immediately regretted her decision when the cold air made her teeth ache.

“We’ll jump and keep running. Makes us less of a target.”

“It would also make us less alive at these speeds!”

“You have wings!” he snapped.

“You don't! How-”

He jumped.

“-NO!” She jumped after him purely on instinct, but before she could even think of catching him with her magic, he had already hit the ground and rolled through the snow. ABSOLUTE CRAZY PONY! She opened her wings just long enough to turn her own fall into a glide and skidded through the snow next to him. He didn’t even leave her a moment to curse him out properly, instead leading the way to the cave at full speed.

They both skidded to a halt next to the entrance, and Ebony actually had to catch her breath. “I don’t care what Cadance says,” her father suddenly whispered, “but we will work on your endurance once we make it out of this. Some cardio at the very least.”

“You jumped out of a moving carriage!” she hissed. “That’s not cardio!”

“I suppose I should compliment you on not breaking any legs.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“What? Nooo!” He flashed her a quick grin. “C’mon, now comes the part where we negotiate a hostage release and then maybe stab our immortal nemesis! With any luck, it’ll even do something!”

“Yes, Mother may even forgive you for all of this if you deliver her the head of your enemy.”

“Ha, no, she won’t! Her love for you trumps her hatred of him.” And with that, he slipped into the cave.

“Wait... what?” Ebony blinked. On paper, she of course knew that her mother loved her, but it was hard to focus on that after weeks of passive-aggressive comments and downright bickering. One crisis at a time. She followed her father.

It didn’t take them long to find Sombra - the cave system was not terribly intricate, and the constant bickering between him and his hostage was very hard to miss.

“-and fix this!”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is not a mirrorlogist, but this one does not even look broken.”

“I! I AM! JUST SAY THE WORDS, I BEG OF YOU! I AM!”

“Trixie will not humor your arbitrary demands of-”

“ARGH!”

Shining gave Ebony a confused shrug and pulled his sword with his magic. “SOMBRA!” he roared. “RELEASE HER!”

She followed him, dagger drawn. “Are you okay, Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“Trixie requires a bath. And a proper meal. And a stage.”

“Listen,” Sombra snarled, but he still looked oddly uncomfortable, “you don’t know what you are dealing with here.”

“Humor me,” her father offered.

Sombra gritted his teeth. “This is a magic mirror. And it acts as a portal to a world that makes the deepest pits of Tartarus look cozy.”

Trixie looked over her shoulder. “Oh, is it that world where we have hands and go to a school run by Principal Celestia?”

“Wh-...” It took Sombra multiple tries to formulate a question. “Why would Celestia run a school?” he finally asked.

“Trixie does not question the urge of alicorns to run schools.”

“Well, this is not that world,” Sombra said after a few deep breaths. Then he gave Shining Armor a look. “Leave this place. This mare is a lost cause, but she will help fix this mirror, one way or another.”

“That’s a peculiar way of saying you will return her safe and sound.”

“I may have to sacrifice her to end this curse.” He hesitated when Shining didn't start nodding enthusiastically. “I'll send a condolence card.”

“Why don't you start talking instead?” Shining offered. “I'm starting to suspect that this isn't part of whatever your original plan was. You mentioned a curse?”

“Trixie is not freezing to death, by the way,” Trixie informed nopony in particular. “Her cape contains an enchantment to ward off the elements. Thanks for asking.”

Sombra was shaking. “D-do none of you even notice?”

“You mean her verbal tic? Yeah, it's-”

“Tic?” He cackled. “TIC? This is not a tic! It's a corruption! AND IT ENDS HERE AND NOW!”

Ebony’s eyes widened in shock as everything happened simultaneously: Sombra reached out with his hooves as if to strangle Trixie. At the same time, Shining Armor reached out with his magic - Ebony could not tell if he was casting his shield spell or if it was something more generic. Either way, the magic was suddenly diverted towards the mirror, which started to glow after greedily absorbing it.

“NO!” Sombra reverted into his smoke form, but it was too late - Sombra and Trixie were starting to get sucked into the glowing surface.

“TRIXIE!” Ebony cried, but any further protest was cut short by her father smashing into her.

“MOVE! MOVE!” He frantically tried to push her away, but it was no use - the mirror’s pull was too great.

In the last moments before she was sucked through whatever portal they had opened, she wished that her final words to her mother hadn't been some dry remark about decay being part of the natural order.

Ebony and her father landed on a patch of grass, and she blinked against the sun. Then she realized that she was, in fact, lying on a patch of grass and blinking against the sun - neither of which had been around seconds earlier. We went through the mirror! Sombra was actually right - it was a portal! Then she frowned. This does not look like some terrible world of horrors. In fact, it kinda looks... like an apple farm?

“You idiots!” Sombra hissed - he and Trixie had not landed too far from them.

Ebony gave them a look, and her frown deepened. Something was... wrong.

“Time is of essence. The mirror-ACK!” A lasso came from seemingly out of nowhere and wrapped itself around Sombra’s hooves.

“HOLD ON, EVERYPONY!” somepony hollered before yanking at the lasso, causing the disgraced king to fall over.

Shining turned his head and squinted at the newcomer. “...Applejack?”

Applejack pranced closer to them and gave them a cocky grin. “Ain’t nopony goin’ anywhere without a show!”

And then it hit Ebony what was wrong with this world: Aunt Applejack never wore a wizard cape, and she never wore a wizard hat... on top of her regular hat. She blanched. This is a world where Applejack, for some reason, became the Great and Powerful Trixie. Then she looked around in horror.

Her father was wearing Trixie’s outfit.

King Sombra was wearing Trixie’s outfit.

SHE was wearing Trixie’s outfit.

And Trixie was wearing...

...

...Princess Celestia’s peytral, shoes, and crown.

“Ebony Moonshine does not understand,” she whispered. “What is going on here? Is this a world of Trixies?” Then she reflected on what she had just said. “Why is Ebony talking like that?”

Applejack ignored her confusion and moved towards the mirror.

“DON’T YOU DARE! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL SOMBRA WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!” Sombra roared, then added several curses when he realized that he was also talking like Trixie.

“That’s what you always say!” Applejack taunted him. “But you always whimper in awe when the Great and Powerful Applejack bedazzles the masses by making this mirror disapp-”

A blast of dark magic sent her flying comically far beyond the borders of the apple farm.

“AUNT APPLEJACK!”

“She’s fine,” Sombra muttered, cutting through the lasso with his magic. “We need to hurry, though.”

“Shining Armor does not approve of attempted murder, regardless of-... oh good heavens, how does Trixie handle talking like this?”

Sombra gave them a dark look before turning his attention to the mirror.

The mirror was gone.

“NO!”

In its place stood a large box. It was roughly the same height and width as the mirror, but that’s where the similarities pretty much ended.

“WE’RE TOO LATE!”

The box’s front suddenly burst open, and Applejack jumped out. “BEHOLD! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL APPLEJACK HAS DONE IT ONCE AGAIN! TIME AND SPACE HAVE BEEN CHEATED! ...now, who’s up for a tour of Great And Powerful Apple Acres?”

Sombra let out a stream of profanity that would have made her father blush if he didn’t have more pressing worries. “EVERY! SINGLE! TIME!” He shook his hoof at Applejack, who just stuck out her tongue as she walked away. Then he groaned. “Every single time Sombra dies, he ends up back in this world. A world without death. A world of imbecile magicians where everything is part of a trick. And every time, he has to spend ages looking for the blasted thing.” He shook his head. “We need to find the mirror. The good news is that it still exists in this world. The bad news is that it exists SOMEWHERE in this world, and at any moment, one of the ponies here might use it as a prop for the next disappearance trick. Only when we reach the other side can Sombra actually exact his proper revenge and kill you.”

Ebony was trying to process the situation. The task was as daunting as it was insane, but something told her that she had to do it since both Sombra and her father were too distracted by their mutual hatred. But there still is- She froze and desperately tried not to look at Trixie, fearing that doing so would remind Sombra of her presence. Instead, she gave her father a look. And when he looked her way, she silently mouthed two words: Distract him.

Shining Armor frowned briefly but then nodded. “Well, you waste your time SEARCHING, then! In the meantime, the Great and Powerful Shining Armor will FIND!” He took off his pointed hat and fished a tiny package out of it. Without missing a beat, he tossed it at the ground before him. The package dispensed a pathetic puff of smoke, and he galloped through it, away from the group. “Ha-HAAA!”

“WAIT! Do you think you can best Sombra in a battle of MAGIC!?” Sombra ran after him, leaving Ebony and Trixie behind.

“Trixie!”

“Wh-... what is going on?” Trixie asked. She was looking utterly lost. “I don’t understand...” Then she frowned. “Why am I talking like-... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?”

This world is one sick joke! “Relax, Trixie! Don’t worry, we’ll fix this!”

“...Trixie?” Trixie blinked, and Ebony could almost see the corruption of this world taking a toll on her mind. “My name is Princess Celestrixia.” Then she violently shook her head. “NO!”

“Please focus! Ebony believes you are the only one who can fix this!”

Trixie was still visibly reeling, but she slowly shook her head. “I-...” She cringed. “I can’t make the mirror appear... it’s gone... it’s gone... it’s gone...”

...we’re stuck here, Flurry suddenly realized. She had bet on the wrong pony, her father and Sombra were off being insane together, and the mirror had disappeared without a trace, just like-... Her eyes widened. “The 6 of Clubs!”

“What... are...” Trixie’s voice trailed off, and Ebony could see a spark of recognition in her eyes. “It’s gone,” she whispered and started to smile. “But don’t worry, it will surely pop up again somewhere...”

“It’s stage magic!” Ebony cheered. “This world runs on stage magic! You can make it appear just like you made that other deck appear!”

Trixie’s smile faltered. “No... I can’t.”

“B-but-”

“But you can.”

It didn’t take Ebony long to find them.

Her father and his arch-nemesis were cackling as they pranced through this world’s version of Ponyville. It looked a lot like what she remembered of the regular version of Ponyville, just with a metric ton of stages and props littered all over the place.

“Oh, but don’t you see that Shining Armor keeps the magic mirror... right here!” her father loudly announced before pulling a random curtain aside, revealing absolutely nothing.

“That’s quaint, but Sombra keeps the mirror right HERE!” Sombra lifted a basket, then put it back down when the mirror failed to materialize underneath it.

“Ahem,” she tried to catch their attention.

“Keep searching, but Shining Armor keeps the mirror right behind THIS door!” He yanked open the door leading to Quills and Sofas, revealing a lot of quills and sofas behind it.

“Oh, but you forget that Sombra-”

“A-hem!”

They slowly turned towards her, and she pulled her best stage pose. “While you two were bickering, the GREAT AND POWERFUL EBONY MOONSHINE has deduced the mirror’s location!”

Sombra blinked at that. “...how?”

“Asked Applejack.”

“Oh.” Sombra frowned, probably asking himself why he had never considered that.

“The sudden presence of Princess Celestrixia-”

“Who?” Sombra interrupted her, then nodded. “Oh, Trixie. Right. She was wearing that... thing...”

Ebony chucked a glitter bomb at his hooves, making him yelp and jump. “The Great and Powerful Ebony Moonshine will not be interrupted further! The mirror appeared in Princess Celestrixia’s castle. We can take the train and be there in-”

“Train? TRAIN?” Sombra laughed and turned to smoke. “That’s far too slow!”

“WAIT!” Shining snapped. “You said we’d go together!”

“Sorry, you two, but there has been a change of plans! Sombra will leave this world and conquer yours! By the time your TRAIN gets there, some idiot will have made it disappear again. You might spend YEARS in this world!” He cackled. “But if you ever do make it back, feel free to visit Sombra’s palace and beg for a swift death!”

And with that, he flew off.

Her father shot her a dark look over his shoulder. “What did you DO?”

“Sent him far away so we can go home without him,” she replied evenly and shot him a grin before spreading her wings. “Ebony will meet you back at the farm.” Her grin widened. “Hurry up - it’ll be good cardio for you.”

“What took you?” she asked casually and stopped shuffling a deck of cards she had found in one of her cape’s pockets. Applejack’s empty box was standing next to her, lid still open.

“The universe has blessed the Great and Powerful Shining Armor with many things, but not with wings,” he huffed. Much to his credit, he wasn’t even looking winded despite having galloped uphill for about a mile.

“Well, has it blessed you with a good memory?” she asked, waving the deck of cards around.

“Shining Armor does not feel that this is the best time for a magic trick.”

“And that’s where you are wrong!” She grinned and fanned out the deck for him. “In this world, it’s always the best time for a magic trick! Pick a card, memorize it, then put it back.”

“...Shining Armor bemoans the fact that this world has fully corrupted you...” He gave the cards a frown but did as he was told.

“It’s not corruption.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “The Great and Powerful Ebony Moonshine had to embrace this world. Let it change her. That’s the key - change can be scary, but sometimes it’s better to run with it than fight it. That way, you can shape its course.” She shuffled the deck and drew a card. “The King of Hearts again?” She laughed. “You, sir, are predictable!”

“And it’s still wrong!” Shining boasted. “How could you possibly get it wrong, even?”

She gasped. “What do you mean?”

“It was the 4 of Spades! EVERY SINGLE CARD IN THIS ENTIRE DECK IS THE 4 OF SPADES!”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is!”

She fanned out the deck again. “No, it isn’t.”

“YES, IT-...” He gawked at the perfectly ordinary deck of cards. “How did you do that?”

“Look, it’s fine. Let’s not let a defective deck of cards get in the way of a good trick. Here, hold this.” She handed him the King of Hearts, then casually tossed the other cards into the box and closed it with a flick of her magic. “Now. Let’s try this again.” She took the card again and pressed it face-up against the top left corner of the front of the box.

She exchanged one last look with Trixie, who gave her an encouraging nod.

Then, in one fluid motion, Ebony dragged the card across the entire front to the bottom right corner, causing hundreds of cards to spread out from underneath it, covering the whole front of the box like a curtain.

And every single card was the 4 of Spades.

Her father took a step back, clearly in awe. “What... how did...”

She gave him a warm smile and knocked against the front of the box, causing it to collapse into a shower of cards, leaving no trace of its original form behind.

What was left behind was the magic mirror.

“My goodness,” Shining whispered, eyes wide.

“Now THAT was some darn good magickin’,” Applejack added, making him jump since she literally hadn’t been by his side a few seconds ago.

“How did you get here?” he hissed.

The farmer-slash-magician waved her cape around in what she probably hoped was a mysterious way. “With the help of... magic!”

Ebony laughed. “Will you, ahem, clean up here once the three of us are through, Great and Powerful Applejack?” she asked, motioning at the mirror.

“You got it, sugarcube.” Applejack winked.

“Come on, Dad,” Ebony whispered and held out her hoof. “Let’s go home.”

He smiled warmly and put one hoof on hers. “Anything for the Great and Powerful Ebony Moonshine.”

Shining knew his wife was approaching the courtyard even without looking. For one, he could hear every guard behind him shifting slightly to stand perfectly at attention. And, of course, his aides had informed him when her train had arrived. It’s not magic, just good preparation. He allowed himself a smile.

“Hello, love,” Cadance said as she joined him.

He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

She smiled and took a deep breath. “...better,” she finally answered. “Twilight and her friends are never short on hospitality, advice... and cider.” She nodded at the mare that was having the time of her life in the courtyard. “Speaking of cider, you better hope I’m still so drunk that I’m seeing things because that looks like our daughter swinging a sword around. And...”

She squinted.

Then she squinted harder.

“And what is she wearing?”

“Ah, you noticed,” Shining commented, choosing to milk this once-in-a-lifetime moment for all it was worth.

“Yeees,” she replied slowly. “I noticed the wizard robe she is wearing.”

“Ah, but do you also notice what she is not wearing?”

She narrowed her eyes dangerously. “If you think you can escape the couch by trading a frilly black dress for the Ponyville village idiot’s outfit, you are mistaken, dear husband.”

He laughed at that. “Oh, I know where I’ll be sleeping tonight, don’t worry.” Then he cleared his throat. “CADET! MOVE YOUR BUTT OVER HERE! NOW!”

The alicorn in the courtyard stopped in mid-swing and looked over at them. “MOM!” she screamed and quickly sheathed her sword before galloping over to them. Barely slowing down, she threw herself at her mother’s neck and embraced her. “I missed you!”

Cadance gasped but quickly returned the hug. “I missed you, too, sweetheart.” After a few seconds, she stepped aside and made a show out of giving her a once-over. “I see most of your mane is back to normal... something that can’t quite be said about your outfit... or your new hobby...”

“A lot has happened. I...” She gave her father a quick look. Shining just smiled and nodded. “I still wish to go by Ebony Moonshine.” She held up her hoof when Cadance tried to protest. “Not to replace the name Flurry Heart, but to amend it. It will be my professional name. Part of my chosen identity. The eternal darkness will remain a part of me-” She pointed at the single black streak in her mane. “-but it will no longer define me.” She rose to her full height. “I have found purpose. Destiny.”

Cadance gave Shining a long look before focusing back on her daughter. “And... what is this destiny?”

Her daughter beamed. “Princess of the Crystal Empire. Defender of the realm against King Sombra and any other threat. And successor to the Great and Powerful Trixie.” She reached into her cape and pulled out a pack of cards. She briefly fanned it out for Cadance to see, shuffled it, and pulled out two cards before bowing dramatically. “And forever thankful for her parents’ guidance, wisdom, patience, and love.”

There was a long silence as Cadance inspected the cards. “That... was a fantastic speech, even if I have a million questions.” She smiled. “I appreciate your newfound sense of purpose, and Twilight made me realize that I should be more supportive of the daughter I love more than anything else in this world.” A pause. “But were you perhaps hoping to pull the King and Queen of Hearts?” she finally asked and raised an eyebrow. “Because these are the 6 of Clubs and the 4 of Spades.”

Shining chuckled. “It’s a long story, love, trust me.”

“Well, will you tell me?”

He considered this, then gave her his most seductive smile. “Only if you visit me tonight on my couch (crystal).”

Author's Note

Changelog of edits made while contest judging is going on

March 8:

"I never even told her..." --> Yes, you just did, Shining. --> "I only told her seconds before she put it down..."

"Ebony cried, but any further press was cut short" --> Can you tell that parts of this fic were written on a swipe keyboard? :rainbowhuh: --> "Ebony cried, but any further protest was cut short"

"...I see this world has fully corrupted you..." --> Speaking of corruption, Shining, whatever happened to your newly acquired verbal tic? --> "...Shining Armor bemoans the fact that this world has fully corrupted you..."

"when her train arrived" --> "when her train had arrived"

"Hey, how have you been?" --> I won't blame Shining for his wife not actually answering the question, but it's easier to change the question than the paragraph after it. --> "Hey, how are you feeling?"