Norman Jayden Meets a Pony

by Noyman Jayden

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Owlowiscious, Sweetie Belle, Twilight Sparkle, Lyra, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Adventure, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1800

I... I'm not entirely sure if this is a trollfic or a serious thing. It's hard to tell at this point...
Norman Jayden somehow meets ponies.

Published 2011-08-19 05:08:57 UTC
Last updated 2011-08-19 05:12:39 UTC

In which a lot happens

It was long of a time after after the Oragami killer had became died because Jayden had killed him in his epic badass. Now Jayden no longer has the happy and is too much addict to Triptocaine. Because it is, he no longer has the job of the IRS. Now he is no home and has a hotel room.

One time it was raining. It made memories of a time long ago and his tears came out. It was a sad thing for him to be because of when Shaun Mars barely lived and they had to kill the Scott Shelby. Jayden had never a man's life before so it made him hurt in the heart and in the soul.

It was friday nightmorning and all the Bronies were being happy because it was time for the ponies. Jayden's Television was on them but he didn't care or know or die because he was in ARI and hitting the sauce because he no longer did Triptocaine and was now a drunk.

Jayden in the ARI was in the home of his town back long ago in a place that was far away, Boston England. Here was in the bench that was the middle of the road and trucks and cars and bikes and pedofiles all rushed by.

Jayden looked through among the peoples and saw one people who different than other because it wasn't a people and walked on the four legs and had purple all over it and a horn and tail and was doing magic all over the place. Norman Jayden thought "Wut?"

Suddenly the world shook and Norman Jayden was freak out because nightmares broke out over time and place. Norman Jayden tried to run but hit wall because he was in room.

ARI came from Jayden face and landing to the floor and he sees the ponies on the TV all singing about not being afraid and laugh. Then he reach for ARI but has heart attacks. He becomes fainted and when awakening he realizes holy shit.

He looks around himself to find out that he is in a place that is a small town kind of like the what was on the TV because it was he was in Ponyville and ARI had back on his face. He looks around not realizing he is on ARI because it is dark though also bright because Luna.

Slowly to his feet becomes Jayden. When he stands he looks and Britain is gone and it is sad. After moments, Jayden again sees the perfect people doing the magic. "I made you life." She say.

Jayden, the unbalanced psychopathic asshole he is, decides to argue with the purple. "You're a fucking liar." He calmly.

"No it has the truth to it." Purple argument.

"It abso-fucking-lutely does not lol jk I believe you." Jayden has a smile of thanks.

"You meet my friends now?"

"Fuck yeah." Jayden fuck yeahs. "Now who the fuck are you?"

"My name is Twilight Sparkle dammit."

"You're a fucking liar."

"Bitch please."

"Okay. Hello Twilight Spockle."

"No, Sparkle, with an r."

"What the fuck is an Ah."

"You're a dumbass."

It was a time later that Pinkie Pie was there and Jayden had hellos to her. "SHIT" she shouted and ran away. Jayden all confused and Twilight Spockle tells him to shut up and come meet this country bitchkin.

"Howday faggot." Applejack is saying. Fuck you Norman back to her. Norman Jayden does not get along with any of the ponies even Fluttershy somehow.

"Hi I'm flutter.s.." Fluttershy tries to say but is shy.

"You're name is Flutterfuck." Jayden says.

"Fuck you, um, if you don't mind..." Fluttershy bitches like a bitch.

"Okay." Jayden fucks.

It was later when he finds the home that Twilight allows him to burnsleep, Pinkie is there and all "SURPIRSE" and Jayden is happy now because Pinkie gave him a party which he put in a small box and sharished forever.

Then ARI fell the fuck off of his face and he became sad again because he was back in cold room with no AC so it was cold because of rain and snow outside and hail. "I hate this HEAVY RAIN" Jayden says as a reference to his past career as a video game character. He was a sad because he failed to stop Shaun Mars from falling into a plothole and dying.

Shit. He said when Shaun Mars die. He sits down on couch in hotel room because hotel rooms have couches and if you disagree then shut the fuck up. Bitch.

"Hello" says Twilight Spockle holy shit what is Twilight Spockle doing in Norman Jayden's hotel room what a plot twist!

"What the fuck." Jayden dies.

Norman was sad and confused at the purple now becoming in his home even though he was homeless and was a hotel. This made him even sadder so he went to balconey looking and say "I jump maybe."

Twilight is all "Don't die again I can't save you more you only had three lives you cocksucker."

"Hey that is a rude thing for a cartoon character to say I die now"

"I am sorry for the abuse and the rape that you don't know of yet I'm drunk."

"Okay I now will die" Norman took drinks from liquor and jumps to die. He falls on Pinkie Pie who's like "SHIT" again and pulls a party out of her pants. Suddenly there is a party and police like "Norman Jayden are you doing drugs still"

"NO I gave that up last monday"

And the cop is like "Shit I wanted it some."

"Well I am done with it forever"

"You're a fucking liar" and they both did triptocaine and so did Pinkie and the party went on and on and on and ooooon.

"Strangers, waiting" They all began singing "Up and down the boulevard, shadows searching in the niiiiight" They laugh.

"Lol we're so on drugs right now guys." Norman was happy again for his life had the meaning.

"I'm a fucking pony" says Flutterfuck who is all happy again and dancing because she's high out of her brains on Triptocaine. Suddenly Twilight shout "No guys! Triptocaine is bad!"

"Oh you're right, let us stop." Norman agreed then Carter Blake come with idea.

"Let's drink until our pancreasi explode."

"FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Norman responses. Then they all drink until their pancreasi explode except Norman who puts on ARI and lives forever in Ponyville like a boss.

Norman Jayden lay motionless on his bed while the rain plumetted down upon the city around him. He began to twitch and cease around in his bed as a horrible nightmare assaulted his mind.

Jayden sat up quickly, screaming in terror. "Oh... Just a dream..." He panted. He turned to his nightstand and saw ARI, sitting there, off. Next to it, several full vials of Triptocaine. He backed shocked and surprised, as he thought he had given the stuff up for good.

"Where... Did this come from?" He asked. He slowly got out of bed. "I should try to figure out where those vials came from." He walked awkwardly to the window, missing the window on his first attempt and walking into a lamp. He then succeeded at looking out the window. "If I don't hurry, Shaun Mars is dead!" Jayden thought, a haunting flashback of his past life. He sighed.

"What a strange dream... Maybe a hot shower will get my head back on straight. Something's wrong, I gave up Triptocaine months ago. I hate when it rains like this. It brings back memories." Jayden walked back to his nightstand and reached his hand out to grab the triptocaine. He retracted his hand, failing to grab the Triptocain. He tried again and succeeded. He helf the triptocaine in his hand, debating whether or not he should take it or throw it out the window.

He chose to take it. He shoved it to his nose, and right as he was about to inhale, a voice from behind him shouted "STOP!" He turned around and dropped the Triptocaine in shock, as the voice belonged to Twilight Sparkle.

"Twi... Twilight Spockle?"

"It's Sparkle... But no, you can't go back to the Triptocaine! It'll destroy you Norman."

"No... No..." Norman Jayden couldn't believe his eyes. He looked at his nightstand to confirm that ARI was on the stand rather than on his face. It was on the stand. "You're... Not real!" He shouted in anger and confusion.

Norman ran past the pony and stepped out on the balconey. He stuck his head out from under the top and felt the rain pour down his face. "This is impossible..." He shook his head, and rain flew out from his hair. "Come on, wake up!" He pulled his head back under the balconey cover and looked back inside. Of course, Twilight Sparkle was still there.

"Please calm down Jayden." Twilight stepped out on the balconey.

"You're not real. You're just an after-image of ARI."

"I wish that was true Jayden, but you need to listen to me."

"... Alright then, assuming for a few moments you ARE real, why are you here, what do you want with me?"

"I need you Jayden. We all need you. You're the only one who can help us."

"What are you talking about?"

"Those glasses of yours. Through excessive use of them, your consciousness has basically transcended realities, and entered our world."

"... That's completely insane."

"Please Jayden, you have to believe me."

Logic told Norman Jayden to just ignore this pony, to go to sleep and hope she's gone when he wakes up. However, something seemed to tell him that he should listen to the pony. "... Alright. I'll give you a chance. Talk."

Twilight smiled. "There was a... Crime, committed in Ponyville. There's never crime in Ponyville, so they didn't know what to do... They arrested my friend Rainbow Dash without any evidence against her. We need you to come help us."

"Why me?"

"Because your culture is clearly very crime-heavy. And you're the only human who's been able to access Equestria in any way. You're the only one who can help us.

Jayden sighed. "Well, not like I have anything to lose. What do you need me to do?"

"Put on your glasses and lay down. Just let yourself get lost in it. It's the only way for you to cross over."

"Alright..." Jayden went back into the room and sat down on his bed. Twilight followed him in. "Why the hell not?" He grabbed ARI and put it on, then laid down in bed.

"See you on the other side" Twilight said as Jayden lost himself in a world of pure wonders.

To be continued...?