Aces and Eights

by Netap

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Sex, Human, Pony of Shadows, Gore, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony Comic, Other, Romance, Comedy, Profanity, Daybreaker
Length: 1272

Anon finds himself as the assistant of a powerful magical princess who runs an evil Casino.

Anon, Nobody's favorite Human, has tragically died due to gang-related violence.

Instead of spending the rest of eternity in limbo, Anon finds himself as the newest assistant to a magical princess who is also a Spirit of Chaos who also runs a casino for villains, who also happen to look like talking animals for some reason.

Surrounded by crazy psychopaths and creepy coworkers, Anon must use his super secret powers to make sure he remains on top of the villainous food chain so he can keep his cushy new job!

"What super secret powers?" You may ask.

Why, Being a human of course!

And also being dead, The dead part might also be important...

Published 2024-03-09 21:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-09 21:20:00 UTC

High Card

This was it.

Anon finally died.

He knew his past would catch up to him somehow, You don't get to live the kind of life Anon had without making some enemies.

And boy did Anon make enemies.

Maybe in the next life, He'll try and live an honest life. He'll go to church on Sunday, pray to God, and all that other Gucci shit that Catholics do that makes them think they're so fucking good.

Anon simply had the wrong hand, If life dealt him better cards, perhaps he wouldn't have died so young. But beggars can't be choosers. And Anon hasn't begged in years.

And so he closed his eyes, a bullet wound in his back, and his blood staining the expensive wood table he sat at.

What a way to go.

Anon stared at his hands, watching the bones of his skeleton float underneath see-through green flesh, keeping their place despite the lack of tendons.

He tried to poke at his hand, squirming at the uncomfortable feeling of having his finger phase through his hand.

"Note to self, Having an Ectoplasm body feel weird..." He said, knowing that nobody important was listening in on him.
Why would anyone listen to the weird Green person?

"I take offense to that," As I said, Nobody important.
"If it wasn't for me you'd still be floating in that nothingness! now remember your job!" Anon ignored the voice in his head that tried to get him to steal the magical staff of his new employer.

Why would Anon do that? She'll fire him!

Anon kept ignoring the annoying voice in his head as he stretched his no longer existing muscles, his feet stepping soundlessly across the expensive floorboards of the floating castle he found himself in before he stopped in front of a large door.

Once he crosses that door, there's no more going back. His first day on the job. Better make a good impression on his new coworker.

Taking a deep breath, fixing his new suit, and making sure his green head hadn't suddenly sprouted leaves like a bush, Anon nodded.
He opened the door.

"What took you so long? Are you slow or something? I knew you Humans weren't the most advanced species out there, but come on! You could have been a little faster!" His new boss's voice was the first thing that his no longer living mind caught.

Her Pink Parrot head seemed to look down on him, even though he was taller than her by almost an entire head.

"Princess Eris, I apologize for my tardiness," Anon spoke up, trying to at least sound professional.

"Yeah, Yeah, save it for someone who cares," The Chaos Spirit rolled her eyes as she waved her hand, "The only reason you're still here is because I can't get rid of you,"

"It's because of me! You should thank me and do the job I told you to do!" Anon ignored the voice in his head that spoke up at the Chimera's words.

"Now listen up, Human, because your job is simple, so simple even a stupid monkey like you could do it," Princess Eris turned her back to the Human, "Basic office work, I'm sure you can count to ten, you have enough fingers,"

If Anon had blood, it would be simmering with how his new boss was treating him, but that was fine. When compared to some of the many people Anon met back when he was alive, Princess Eris is practically a saint.

"You're my new assistant now, so you better work well, monkey," Eris said as she dragged Anon down a twisting flight of stairs, a mirrored version of the two walked along the ceiling in the opposite direction only showing how Powerful Eris was.

After getting off the M. C. Escher stairway, Eris pointed a dainty finger at the door she stopped in front, "Open it,"

Anon walked up to the door and pushed, forcing his body to stay corporeal so he wouldn't accidentally phase through the door.

"Good job, Monkey," Eris complimented Anon as she patted him on top of the head like how an owner would to a pet, "If you keep this up I might give you a banana."

"Thank you," Anon nodded in thanks, ignoring the twitching where his eyes used to be.

"You wouldn't need to thank her if you just grabbed her staff," Anon ignored the voice, His eyes only briefly moving to the brightly glowing pink orb in the staff Eris held.

"Thank you?" Eris paused mid-step before turning to look at Anon, "Did you thank me?" She leaned closer to him, "Get down here so I can glare at you properly,"

Anon sank his feet twenty centimeters into the floor so Princess Eris would stand above him, "Good," She nodded before her brow knit into a glare.
"Now answer me, Monkey, Did you thank me?"

"Would you rather I disrespect my new boss instead?" Anon asked in return, his blank green face staring up into the Ram-horned, Bat-winged, four-fingered, two-toed, Pink Parrot Princess.

Eris leaned back for a moment and thought over how she was going to respond to the ghost before she decided to simply shake her head and keep going, forcing Anon to quickly follow after her, his legs still phasing through the floor.

"I need you to go make sure the villainy detector in the entrance is working properly, Come back to me once you're finished," Eris told him once they reached a balcony. She raised her eyebrow at him expectantly before looking at the balcony.

Anon looked at the balcony and sighed before he phased his body back onto solid ground, walked up to the guardrails at the edge of the balcony, spotted the entrance to the castle and the long line of magical creatures already lining up to come in, and nodded to himself.

"If you listened to me, You wouldn't have to face this humiliation, Anonymous!!!" Anon ignored the voice that kept trying to get him to betray his evil new boss and phased his body through the guardrail.

Falling several stories before splattering on the ground in a puddle of green Ectoplasm, that quickly reformed back into the blank-faced human that was Anon.

High above him, Anon heard Eris call out "Don't disappoint me too much!" As if she knew she would be disappointed no matter how Anon dealt with things.

"Just check the detector..." Anon said to himself as he felt his suit reappear over his green body as he looked at the machine above the castle gate.

It looked like a mix between one of those carnival signs that check how tall you are before you can go on the roller coaster, and a meter for some car. With the needle pointing at either "Evil Villain" or "Goody Two-Shoes"

"Just make sure that works correctly," Anon repeated his order once again, ignored the voice in his head that kept complaining, and walked forward to do his job.

Author's Note

Gambling is fun.

This story is tagged AU because it takes place in the Nightmare Knights Comic alternate universe.

Here's Princess Eris, She's probably not that racist against Humans. Like Frieza not being that racist against Saiyans.

R.I.P Akira Toriyama.

More info about what the hell is going on will be out whenever I feel like updating this lmao, I just felt like trying to write an Anon story, while still having the classic Netap twist of originality.

This is a Pilot chapter, so If I do keep writing, it won't be soon :3