As everypony should already know, all weather in Equestria is manufactured an distributed by the floating city of Cloudsdale. Different kinds of clouds, rainbows and even wind storms are produced in many different factories littered round the cloud city.
Most ponies have common knowledge of how the clouds are made, but not very many know the process through which rainbows are-
"Wow, you've gotten better at intros since you last wrote."
Gah! No! Not you, stop. You are not allowed to do this again, ~~Pinkie Pie~~ Surprise. You aren't even suppose to be in this story.
"Well, mister Narrator, I was in the neighbourhood and decided to drop by and make sure you don chicken out on another fanfic," the ~~pink pony~~ white pegasus explained. "Also, I don't like it when you narrate me talking to you remember?"
I'm sorry, but if I don't do it the readers won't understand who's talking or what their doing. By the way, if you're going to do this again, how are you going to work yourself into the story? You can't fly or walk on clouds.
The bubbly partier thought for a few seconds, a hoof on her chin before a lightbulb appeared above her head. "IDEA! You can write me in as a pegasus. I'll be white with a blonde mane and I'll be named... Hmmm... I know, I'll be Surprise!" She raised her hooves in the air above her head.
But I already wrote you in as Pinkie Pie. How am I going to change that?
"Just put strikethroughs and rewrite. It's easy. ~~See?~~"
Fine. But if it confuses readers it's all your fault Pinkie P- I mean, Surprise.
She smiled. "Oh, I almost forgot," she said, "you should put your words in italics every time you talk to me. It's better formatting and helps the story sound more like an actual story."
Okay, like this?
"Perfect."
Now, we need a plan to get you in the story. I have an idea.
The blonde-maned pegasus soared through the skies of Ponyville and in the direction of Cloudsdale. There she was to take part as judge in the final flying exams for flight students in Cloudsdale. It was the test that would determine if a little fully was destined to live happily among the rest of the pegasi or shunned as one of the-
"Well that's kinda mean isn't it?" interrupted Surprise when she obviously wasn't supposed to. She slowed down until she was simply hovering on the spot.
What are you talking about? That's part of the story, wether it is nice or not. Fanfiction does not necessarily need to represent canon.
The pegasus frowned. "Well, ya, but I don't want anypony to feel left out. Plus, if you don't alter the story there won't be any point in telling it."
She had a point. Ugh.
Scratch all the headcanon from before, it was not an exam, but a performance so that the judges can give you constructive feedback on your flying. In the end everypony wins, but some ponies win more than others.
"Thank you!"
Soon enough the judge had finally arrived at the flying arena, taking her seat at the table among the other judges.
...
...
"Narrator," whispered Surprise away from the rest of the table, "you need to switch scenes."
What?
"Swap to Scootaloo!"
Oh
_______________________________
"Come on Orion, we're gonna be late for our ~~final test~~ evaluation that in no way will separate us from other pegasi if we do badly!" Scootaloo called to a friend of hers. She had grown quite a bit, older now, she was in her last year of flight school. She, along with her new friend that-
Surprise piped up. "Wait, where are Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle? And why is she going to a flight school in Cloudsdale and not the elementary school in Ponyville?"
Well, she's obviously older now. That means she graduated and went to a new school.
"I dunno, I don't think she would go to a different school than her best friends."
Just stick to your part and stop interrupting, please.
The tall and thin male pegasus that she had called out to quickly caught up to the young filly and moved up beside her.
"Sorry," he apologised, "I'm just a bit nervous about the whole thing. What if they say I'm bad at flying? What if other ponies laugh at me because I make a mistake? What if-"
He was cut off when the orange filly stuck one of her hooves in his mouth. They stopped flying.
"Hey, I'm scared too, I sfjm sc schmo fg. FhGnbfseg hfc. Vofujbf bvdxc ......."
"Hgey, whhaty happendsd?" asdjkled Surpriosr.
Sorry, I spilled coffee on my keyboard. Take over for me will you? I have to clean this.
"Hurray!" Surprise (which is me, Pinkie Pie) said while already beginning her/my new job as Mr. Narrator. Anyways, what Scootaloo said was "Hey, I'm scared too. My heart's pounding right now. We just need to support eachother with love and friendship!"
Then they kept flying to the arena where there were a whole bunch of other fillies and colts all ready for the 'test'.
Alright Pinkie, I'm back. So, how far did you get into the OH GOD!
Surprise (Pinkie) was obviously confused. She left the judges table for a moment so that nopony else could hear what she was saying.
"What is it Mr. Narrator?" she whispered seemingly to herself, "Did you see a spider? Because I can't blame you, those things are yucky-ucky."
Sigh. I didn't even leave you for that long. You've skipped over a fairly important conversation that builds character and your grammar is, how should I put this; not super special awesome.
There is something to be said about Pinkie's feelings. They're a fragile thing, not to be tampered with by anything. But when trying to critique anything she does nearly always ends in disaster.
Her eyes began to well up with tears. "You... You don't like how I narrated the story?" Her bottom lip quivered.
Fortunately, these feelings were easily mended.
I'm sorry?
"Okie dokie lokie!" Her smile was suddenly back on her face. "Don't worry, I was just testing you."
You what? I'm confused.
"You should know by now that my grammar is far superior to yours. Did you really think I would be making that many mistakes? I mean, duh!"
I hate you. I hate you so much.
"Hate is a strong word," she snickered. "Now get back to the story. Readers are getting restless with our shenanigans."
She returned to her spot at the table in time to see the fillies' flight instructor, I white pegasus with muscles the size of watermelons. He had to be the biggest and buffest pony that anybody had ever seen.
"Um, I don't think buffest is a word," Surprise rudely interrupted. "Hey, I did not rudely interrupt! I'm trying to help you and you get all winey about it. I guess I just won't help you with your other mistakes then."
Pinkie, if you'd just let me tell the story without correcting everything, we'd be done by now.
"Just get on with it."
ANYWAY, the stallion also had tiny, nearly non-existent wings. It was nearly impossible for anypony to imagine how he could possibly lift himself off the ground with wings like those. He trotted forward.
"This is your final flight exam," he stated, his voice booming. "Your official exit from the school system. It's gonna be a tough one for you, 'cause there are a lot of ways to fail. To pass, you just gotta fly through these rings." He pointed a big meaty hoof at a long row of cloud rings. He continued by moving his hoof towards a group of clouds. "Clear the clouds, then let yourself fall by closing your wings. Pull up after three seconds, then head to the finish. Fly, clear, fall, complete."
Surprise looked behind her chair and at the Narrator. "Didn't we agree that tests and failing is mean and that you shouldn't put it in the story?" she whispered, just quiet enough that nopony else heard her.
I didn't like it. Also, in the previous story you were the one who wanted me to continue with you murdering Rainbow Dash. Why are you suddenly being so nice now?
"Because I like it and the murder and gore is my favourite part. Now, you are going to narrate the story how I say it or you're not narrating at all."
But I'm the narrator! A character changing the story against my will is against the rules!
She turned around and smiled. "Well screw the rules, I'm Pinkie Pie. Look, we already missed the most vital part of the story."
Sure enough, all the fillies and colts had already taken their tests-
"Not tests!"
I mean, they already took their 'evaluations'. In case you readers were wondering, Orion, Scootaloo and another pony named Aurora Dawn 'did badly on their evaluations'. Aurora even managed to... I... I can't do this. Sorry, none of this gory stuff for me-
Once again, I was (am being) interrupted by Surprise (Pinkie).
"Whoahwoahwoahwoahwoah. Hold up." I'm pretty sure she was now pretty mad. "What in the name of Gummy are you doing!"
You of all peop- I mean, ponies, should know that I don't do stuff like killing and broken wings. I'm sorry, but I'm not doing it.
"If you weren't comfortable with the subject, then why would you even pick this story? You need to say whatever you need to say or I'm going to do this for you."
*le chuckle* Pinkie, I'm sorry, but I might as well stop right here. There isn't even anything you can do anyways. Goodbye everypony. It's been a good run, but I need to find something else to write.
The End
One of the judges stood up.
Wait, I didn't write that.
The blonde maned, white pegasus glided down to two fillies and one colt that had grouped themselves together.
Pinkie, is that you, because if it is, stop! How are you even doing that!?
"Hey there kids!" she exclaimed, overjoyed. "Guess what? You guys flew sooooooooooo super special awesome, I have a special treat for you!" They smiled at the judge's generosity.
Surprise or Pinkie or whatever's happening with you, I want you to stop narrating!
"No. Either you continue the story or I'm doing it myself. You're being a little silly filly by not finishing these grimdark stories, and I don't like it."
I... Um... *le sigh* Fine. I'll finish it.
"Yippers!"
The children looked up at her, having only heard the mare's half of the conversation. Scootaloo spoke up. "Miss, who are you talking to?"
"Nopony important, now let's go get your surprise. To the Rainbow Factory!"
And so, much to my dismay, the four of them boarded a nearby bus and left. Oh joy.
_______________________________
The trip there seemed to go on forever. They had to be on the other side of Equestria by now, but only Surprise knew that wasn't the case. They had driven along a path that would muddle and confuse the passengers so that it would be impossible to pinpoint the exact location of their destination.
The children exited the dingy, smelly, rust-
"Hold up."
What? What is it now? I'm already being held here against my will, what else could you possibly want from me?
"You need to be nice to the kids. Don't you think it's mean to put them on a smelly old bus instead of a super nice party bus?"
It's not supposed to be nice! It's grimdark! These ponies are supposed to have failed their final flight test and are now outcasts to society and are being punished for it by being sent to the Rainbow Factory to be ground up into rainbows!
"You forgot to say 'spoiler alert'."
GAH! This is impossible, you're impossible! There is no reason why I should still be doing this! *le sob, le sobby sob sob* I just want to tell a story in peace. But I can't do that because apparently, I'm a bad narrator.
"Oh Mr. Narrator, I didn't know you were so sad. Are you going to be okay?"
No, I don't think I will be okay. I'm just not cut out for this. Maybe I should just go into the library business like my mother wanted
"You can't quit now, Narrator! What you said, that you are bad at this. I need to tell you..."
Yes Pinkie
"You're right. You do suck. I'm taking over. And look, while you were being a big crybaby the story progressed beyond your narration. They're at the part where they meet Rainbow Dash!"
Wait, what?
One of the mares that the kids were talking to removed her mask. Her technicolour mane fell down to her shoulders.
"Rainbow Dash!" screamed the orange filly in terror.
Pinkie, stop narrating!
Never!
She, along with her two friends backed away from her mentor, her eyes beginning to tear up. "But- I- Why?"
Rainbow walked closer, thoughts of having to kill the kids entering her mind.
No, stop! Please!
Rainbow moved in ever closer for the kill. "It's the only way, kid." She raised her hooves and stopped moving.
No she didn't.
Yes she did.
No she didn't.
Yes she did.
NO!
YES!
She swung both her hooves down, but her moment of confusion gave Scootaloo, Orion, and Aurora enough time to evade the attack.
IT'S MY STORY NOW, YOU'RE DONE!
"Ready for the plan?" Aurora asked her two friends.
"Fly, clear, fall, complete," Scoots replied.
But just as Aurora was ready to lift off the ground, her wings broke. Then Orion looked back and tripped. His hoof caught on a chain or something. I dunno. Then Scootaloo got distracted before she crashed and fell.
Ugh. I can't let you do this.
Too late, I'm in control. You can't do anything anymore.
The cyan pegasus moved closer. She held a chain in her hooves.
Rainbow Dash! RAINBOW DASH!
Ha! What are you doing, silly filly? Nopony can hear you, you're just a Narrator.
Yes, but you heard me. There must be some way to break through. RAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNBOOOOOOOOWWWWWW DAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Her head lifted up. She stopped. The chain fell to the floor.
What? What happened?
I broke the story barrier. That means she's in her correct, canon state of mind. You no longer have control. My turn.
The world went black. Scootaloo's eyes opened. She was in her own bed, at home. A drop of sweat rolled off her chin. A dream. No, a nightmare. Her worst nightmare. It was over. Finally.
And so, we finish. I'm done with this. No more grimdark. And no Pinkie. Good bye, and goodnight.
fin.
