Why Do They Want You So Much?! 😡😡😡
Anon walked into the royal dining room. He was here to meet with Celestia not only because she invited him to eat some breakfast with her, but also to witness a rather peculiar behavior from her dear sister, Luna. It was strange that he needed to witness it; Luna had been just fine for the past couple weeks. But now, with him being invited urgently to the castle by Celestia herself (and given a week reprieve from his work in Ponyville), he now has the time to see what Celestia sees in her sister. He’s not sure what could’ve caused this behavior she had witnessed, but whatever it was, Anon knew he wanted to be there for Luna. He wanted to help her get past whatever was going on with her, both as a friend and as her consort.
He scoured the area. From his position, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The table was set with all the necessary things needed for a well-balanced breakfast: a plate stacked full of pancakes, a few bottles of syrup set to the side, and a much smaller helping of butter to boot. There were also some empty glasses ready to be given a fresh splash of water. Three empty chairs were around the table, two were very close to each other, while one lone warrior was on the other end of the table. Carefully, he walked over to the seat he knew was for him (the one on the side, not the one next to him at the end). He sat there and scootched himself in. There were only two things missing now…
Celestia and Luna. Where were they?
As if he summoned one at the perfect time, Celestia walked into the room, followed by a servant rolling in a cart. He didn’t see anything in said cart, but when the driver pulled up in her black and white maid costume, he realized that, well, she was primarily the cleaning crew. The only thing that looked remotely needed for the royal breakfast was a delivery of one large water pitcher, which he spotted being held in a golden hue. Then, the water pitcher teleported onto the table.
Upon seeing Anon in his seat, Celestia smiled at him warmly. “Good morning, Anon.”
“Good morning, Celestia. Is Luna joining us?”
She bit her lip before slightly looking away from him. “She... is going to be a minute or two longer.” Then she clip-clopped her way over to her side of the table. She must have taken her seat, as Anon could not see her at all. It was as if the giant stack of pancakes ate her, but her voice still reverberated around the room. “You are more than welcome to take as many as you want.”
Anon flocked over to his plate. “Thank you.”
He walked over to the stack and blinked. The Jenga Tower of Pancakes was tall. He wasn’t going to be able to reach that high up just for some pancakes. How was he going to get them down?
“Uh… Celestia?”
“Yes?”
…
He peered around the Pancake Tower of Equestria and smiled sheepishly. “Little help here?”
“Oh,” she murmured before giggling behind her forehoof. “How many would you like?”
“Three please.”
She smiled and flopped the desired amount onto his plate with her magic. The golden hue faded away, leaving Anon to now lick his lips at how good they looked. “Wow, these look great, Celestia!”
“Thank you,” she replied, a slight blush tinging her cheeks. “I see I went a little overboard this time.”
Anon still looked at the Great Tower of Pancake and sighed. “Looks like you did. Any reason as to why?”
She moved the majority of the stack over to another plate on the nearby cart, making it way easier for him to now see her. She snorted. “There. Sorry, I needed to move that out of the way so that way I could see you.” She cleared her throat and was about to continue, when the maid poured water into her empty glass. She whispered her thanks and shared a brief smile with her, before she continued, “I made this much since I am worried that this situation could devolve into quite an argument between my sister and I. It was silly to think that I could calm her down with pancakes, though.”
“Speaking to someone’s stomach is one way to repair a relationship,” Anon muttered, earning him a giggle-snort from Celestia.
“I cannot argue with that, Anon!” She giggled a bit more before stopping. “I am glad somepony—err, somehuman can understand my logic.”
“Happy to help you cope with reality—hey!”
Anon rubbed his leg as Celestia had bapped it with wing. She laughed at his glare. “Coping is not part of my agenda.”
He snorted and rolled his eyes. “So you made Luna an abundance of pancakes because you’re worried you're going to have an argument her?”
“Yes, Anon. We have a history of this,” Celestia replied lamely. She poked Anon along with her magic. “Go on, take your seat. We can talk while we eat.”
He rolled his eyes. “Alright, Celly.”
He heard her groan from behind him, but Anon didn’t care. He just knew he had pancakes to eat, and a mare to hopefully figure out.
Carefully, he sat down in his seat once again, and placed his helping of pancakes on the table. Once comfortable, he looked over to Celestia and smiled. “So what’s bothering Luna enough to make you make way more pancakes than you need to make?”
She sighed and levitated her fork and knife in the air. “I have been observing her as of late. She has been exhibiting signs of frustration, but not any towards me. All she does is she thanks me for the food and returns to her room post-haste.”
“Has she told you anything?”
A quick shake of her head dissolved his question in seconds. “My dear sister means well, but she tends to... bubble things up instead of telling me about them. I tried to help her see reason, but she pushes me away saying she is not in the mood to talk about it. When I pester her further, all she does is mutter your name.”
Anon blinked rather rapidly before digging into his own pancakes. “Food for your thoughts?”
“Fire away,” Celestia replied with a slight grin, before she chomped down on her first bite.
“Sounds like a friendship problem built for me to solve.”
She snorted. “Exactly while I brought you here! Something is ailing her, and I believe you are the only one that can save this situation from yet another argument.”
“You make this sound like your arguments turn into WWE matches.”
Celestia tilted her head. “WWE?”
“Human reference. I’ll paraphrase. Sounds like your arguments turn into full blown fights involving hooves flying and magic blasting through walls.”
“Heh, you are partially right. My sister and I have sworn off the whole magic orientation. We can resolve our situations diplomatically.” She paused for a second, which made Anon wonder what was going on inside that mare’s mind, but then she shook her head and leaned forward. “Look, my sister and I have argued a few times both before I sent her to the moon and after her return. For example, recently we swapped cutie marks and did each other's jobs for the day. While it gave us both newfound perspectives on our roles that we play for Equestria’s wellbeing, it seems that it did not make her feel comfortable enough to divulge the issue at hoof. I do not need to be in her hooves to understand that she is angry, and it seems I am not the one that needs to discover the why. That is where you come in, Anon.”
“So, you would like me to investigate further?”
He watched as Celestia swirled her glass of water before taking a helpful swig of it. He shook his head and let the maid do her bidding, giving his glass just as much water. “Yes. Since this name dropping happens after she has left the dream realm, I fear that she will only degrade more if you do not assist. If this is similar to the Tantabus..." Celestia trailed off for a moment, shivering as she said that word. "I would like to avoid losing my sister again.”
“I would like to avoid that too,” Anon replied, humming to himself. So trouble in paradise? And something for him to only resolve? “Well, I am definitely willing to help, but… are you sure it’s okay for me to help with this? I mean, I know I’m close to Luna now but—”
“Of course you are!” Celestia tittered. She flicked her wings and tried to smile, but Anon knew that the smile was a bit more… apprehensive. Not the normal kind. Was this really as big of a deal as she was making this out to be? “After all, you are her royal consort.”
He smirked. A royal consort. It was a title that he wore proudly, especially because it was Luna. The fact that she liked him was… something else. And he was just as enamored as her. “Acceptance is the last stage of grief, Celestia.”
“You are lucky you planted yourself farther down the table.”
Anon raised a brow. "The horn on your head stop working?"
Celestia laughed. "N-No! My horn is working just fine, thank you." Then she furrowed her brows and angled her head a little low to glare at him with the gaze of a thousand suns, or at least, that’s what Anon thought. Did the room get hotter in here or was it just someone messing with the thermostat again? “But making you see the light with my hooves is much more fulfilling.”
“Is that a threat, or a promise?”
She cracked a smile. “A promise, although with how you asked that question, I think you would like me doing that to you.”
He laughed heartily as he cut into his pancakes. Carefully, he took a bite and smiled. “Hmm, pass me the syrup?” Magically, it blinked into existence beside him. He wasted no time thinking how that even worked and grabbed onto it, splurging the syrupy goodness on his pancake stack. “Thanks.”
“N-No problem,” Celestia said between chews. She gulped down her own bit of pancake and smiled. “I’m glad you are here, Anon. As I said, I do not need her to fall to something sinister, like a sudden illness or a magical curse. She would leave me here to play every nobles’ game of twenty questions and that, in itself, is torture.”
“Sounds like it,” Anon muttered. He stabbed his pancake before bringing the piece he cut up to his mouth.
“You try listening to those twenty question games every day for a thousand years. They are not fun.” She groaned. “She needs to be here to keep me sane. She is one of my many priorities.”
“And what are your other ones, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Celestia smirked. “Making sure the sun does not start mingling with the moon, and making sure my ponies are safe.”
Anon watched her shovel part of her stack into her maw. How did her jaw not become completely unhinged? He shook his head. “Sounds like two tall tasks.”
“And with Luna’s dilemma, they have only grown taller.” She snorted as she cut into another piece of pancake with her fork.
“So you’re asking me to help you out with this not only because I’m close to Luna, but also because your responsibilities have caught up with you?” Anon asked, raising a brow.
Her eyes widened as she froze mid-bite. Then, she blinked rather rapidly and smiled as she ate her piece of pancake. She swallowed it and showed her teeth. “Yes.”
A fluffy amount of pride surged through him. Either that, or it was indigestion. “Well, I’m glad you trust me in getting this all sorted.”
She rolled her eyes. “I would handle it myself, but as you said, my responsibilities are more overbearing as of late, and it seems that this is not to be resolved by me. It is of yours to resolve, and I have faith you will… as long as she shows up.”
“Why do you say that?”
She lets out a brief blow. “Luna’s been retiring to her room earlier and earlier. I’ll wonder if she’ll even walk in here to say hello to us.”
As if the world knew of the word ‘timing’, the pony who was on their minds had barged in the room from left field, flying into it with no regard for life. She skidded to a halt and folded her wings. She looked at Celestia and blinked owlishly before slowly approaching the table.
“Good morning, Luna,” Celestia said with a smile on her face. She carefully lifted a plate towards her. “Want some pancakes?”
Luna nodded and ensnared it in her deep blue magic. “Thank you, sister.”
Anon tilted his head. Didn’t Celestia say she was not even wanting to eat breakfast with her as of late? Wonder what chang—
His train of thought was suddenly derailed when he saw Luna freeze mid-step. This allowed him to get a better look at her. Suddenly, everything clicked. She was just as Celestia said: a walking zombie-like pony whose eyelids grew eyelids. The dark rings around the second pair of eyelids made him realize that somehow she managed to double up on tiredness. That, in itself, is a feat, one that he unfortunately isn’t proud of at the moment. Those bloodshot eyes and discolored fur on her cheeks made him worry even more. He had never seen her fur lose its sheen.
He gulped in his anxious assessment, letting the piece of pancake he had forgotten about slide down his throat. “G-Good morning, Luna.”
She shook her head, but before she could say anything, her wings snapped to attention, making her wince. What was that about?
“I apologize. I didn’t know you were joining us this morning, Anon.”
“Got invited,” he replied. “Plus, Celestia made extra.”
Luna looked over at her sister, who just sheepishly smiled and shrugged at her. Luna rolled her eyes. “Well, good morning to you too, Anon.”
She walked slowly to her seat and attempted to sit down beside him, but her wings wouldn’t retract. So, she set her plate down and tended to them, groaning as she did so.
“Uh… Luna. Do you need—”
“No,” she growled. “I don’t need your help.”
His eyes widened. Well somepony woke up on the wrong side of the bed! What was going on with her?
“Okay…”
After controlling her wings, Luna harrumphed and ate her pancakes.
Anon mentally drum rolled his fingers against the table. So this was as bad as Celestia made it out to be. She had never acted this way toward him! She’s usually a sweetheart, nuzzling into him and what not. Heck, she even kissed him right in front of the maids. He remembered that being the gossip of the castle for way too long.
However, he had never run into this. What crawled up her flanks and died? It better not be anything related to Blueblood. That guy hated his guts.
He sighed and looked over at his mare. She was scarfing down the food in shovelfuls. Her fork was ravaging the fluffy masterpieces. Meanwhile, he was still working on pancake number two, and he wasn’t wanting to rush it. Why wasn’t she taking her time? Did she have someplace to be?
“Hungry, aren’tcha?”
His brain said that out loud. He said that OUT LOUD.
Luna, the pony he loved, glared at him. She let out a brief blow. “Not in the mood.”
???
Anon’s brain misfired. “What?”
“You heard me, Anon. Do you need me to clean out your ears?”
He blinked. “No, I’m just… confused. You’ve never been like this. Are you okay?”
She frowned and cut once more into her pancake. “It is not something that pertains to you. I apologize if I am coming off as rude but this is something I need to deal with, not you.”
He looked over at Celestia, who had just finished her pancakes and was now watching this all unfold in front of her. “Sister, he is just trying to help—”
“As I said, it is something I need to deal with, not either of you.”
With that, she gulped down the remainder of her pancake, not even bothering to get a drink of water. She licked her lips and promptly magicked the empty plate into the maid’s cart. She smiled and bowed at the maid before wearing a rather uncomfortable blank expression. “Sorry, I must go. Thank you both for the food.”
Before Anon could even get a word in edgewise, she teleported away, her magic pixie dust fluttering to the ground.
Celestia sighed. “I apologize, Anon. Like I said, she is not been herself lately and—”
“Where does she usually go after breakfast?”
“It used to be in the halls to hang her lavender, but lately she just returns to her room…” She paused to look up at him and frowned. “Looks like our breakfast is over, huh?”
Anon nodded. “I gotta make sure she’s okay. This is really going to bother me.”
“Good luck, Anon.”
He looked at Celestia one last time and smiled. “Won’t need it. Also, before I go, thanks for the food. You make a really fluffy stack of pancakes.”
“Only the best for my sister and her consort.”
Right. Consort. It was time to figure this out once and for all. Even if it made him turn into a casualty on the moon.
He handed his plate over to the maid, waved a goodbye to them both, and left the room.
Anon made his way to Luna’s bedchambers. It was great getting to walk around the castle at this hour, and he wasn’t going to complain about the exercise. It was like taking his own exclusive tour, walking into one hall, and then another…
Safe to say, it was fun to play ‘ask the nearest pony for directions’ every chance he could.
Thankfully, it didn't take him long to get there, even if he was taking the 'tour route'. What did bother him was the entourage that greeted him at her doorstep.
Two guards stood at the door, glaring at him.
The white, almost glowing one on the left piped up, “Anonymous, right?”
He smiled. “Yes, I am here to—”
“Princess Luna said she did not want any visitors,” the second one with dark brown fur said.
“You’re kidding.”
“I wish we were,” Lefty, Anon has now named them, said lamely. They shifted their helm, allowing their ear to flick out. “She said to keep an eye out for you. Did you do anything, sir?”
Righty, Anon has named the other, sneered at Lefty. “Dude, you don’t need to ask him that!”
“What do you mean? It’s perfectly reasonable!”
“What if it’s something personal? It’s not your job to pry his brain for answers.”
“I’m not! I was just… curious.”
“Hi Curious, I’m Reasonable and—”
“Alright,” Anon began, interrupting the two guards' little bicker-session. “So while you two are out here flirting with each other, my mare is in there suffering all by herself. Now I know you both don’t mean any harm, but I need to be in there to support her, regardless of what she said to you two. Now, I would like this to be easy and painless, so if you could just let me pass, then you can go back to staring at most likely paint drying on the wall, and I can go in there and fix whatever funk she’s in, thus making everyone happy.”
The two turned to him with gobsmacked expressions. Their jaws were probably going to need to be picked off on the ground soon with how unhinged they were. Lefty decided to pick theirs up first. “Uh… wow. Are you sure you would want to disobey our Princess’s orders?”
Anon nodded. “Enough to run right there with or without your permission.”
Righty and Lefty looked at each other and sighed. “If I were in your place, I’d think the same,” Righty said.
Lefty nodded. “Same here. We’re sorry for delaying you. The Royal Consort may enter.”
With that, they tended to the door and opened it. Revealing the room that he knew well.
“Thank you,” Anon said to the two of them.
“No problem—ack!”
“Pipe down! Do you want Princess Luna to hear you? She'll maim us after—”
“Guards! Why did you open the doors to my bedchambers? Didn’t I order you to not let anypony in while I—”
The guards stood ramrod, staring out while Anon stood there, staring at Luna, who in turn was staring at him and the guards—a quadruple staredown in more directions than a tank can aim in one fell swoop.
“—handled myself accordingly.”
Growling, Anon kicked the doors to a close and looked at her with a glare he hoped was going to burn through the shades behind her. “Luna, why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not.”
Her gaze being cast away like a man on a raft was more than enough for him to step in.
“Yeah, if that’s not avoiding, then I’m your rubber ducky you use in your bath.”
She groaned. “Anon, don’t start—”
“Don’t you dare say that,” Anon interrupted. He walked up to her and cupped her cheek. He noted her wince to his touch. “If there’s something I did to make you feel this way, then let’s talk about it. Avoiding this is going to make us both feel worse. And it hurts me to see you in pain, Moonbutt.”
“I hate that nickname,” she whispered.
“It’s cute,” Anon said with a grin. “Just like you.”
“Die.”
“Nope.”
She rolled her eyes. “Commit unalive?”
“Nada.”
She tapped a hoof against her chin, before she gasped and smiled at him. “Cease thy existence with a vengeance?”
“Poetic. But no.”
She snapped her wings like Anon snapped his fingers: aggressively. “Feathers. Thought that one would stick.”
Anon saw her wing. Some of her feathers were displaced. Knowing pegasi and their preening habits, that seemed like a wing far overdue for a session. He walked up to her wing and held it gently in his hands. “Luna, your wings.”
She glanced down and sighed. “Uh… I can explain.”
He folded his arms together and held them to his chest. He flicked one of his hands towards her, as if to say, Go on…
She sighed and began her confession:
“I have been restless lately. The amount of nightmares I have had to observe were aplenty, and I could absolve them with very little effort. However, as of late, a renewed rally against my efforts has rifled themselves into my dream realm. Anon, may you guess what that rally was?”
Anon snorted. His Luna translator was broken, so he had to guess here. “Uh… ponies were dreaming about the second Changeling invasion?”
“No, they are reformed, remember?”
He facepalmed. “Right. Let’s see… ponies were dreaming about pigs flying.”
She chuckled. “Funny, but no.”
He grabbed his chin and began rubbing it like he was a detective on a case. “Hmm… they were dreaming of explosions and the end of the world?”
“No! That is not something they dream of.”
“Except Twilight… and Starlight… and—”
Luna stuck a hoof on Anon’s lips, making him taste… a mixture of syrup and dirt. Eghhh. “Alright, that is not what most ponies dream of.”
She withdrew her hoof, which made Anon throw his hands up in the air. “Then what was it? Were they shipping themselves with you?”
“Close. While I’m flattered that they do this to me, I am unsure what most ponies see in me.” She shook her head. “Nay, they dreamt of you, in more ways than I would like.”
He blinked. “Any beheadings?”
“Nay. Lest they want an express trip to the sun via my sister’s improved spellcasting.”
“Torture methods?”
This one made Luna freeze and subsequently blush. “Uh… one.”
Anon’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me who they were and what they did to me. That’s disturbing.”
She nodded rather quickly, her mane rapidly bouncing, which made all the stars in her mane scatter like fireflies in fury.
“Uh… let’s see… bed gymnastics?”
“Too many.”
“Noted.”
She glared at him.
He clicked his tongue. “Alright, unnoted and thrown into a vat of acid!”
“Where it belongs,” Luna concurred.
“Exercising?”
“Two. One with a game of hoofball, and the other with a yoga mat—” Luna shook her head and grimaced. “That’s besides the point, Anon!” She stomped her hoof down. “I have not gotten an inkling of rest because they cannot stop dreaming of you! Why?! Why do they want you so badly?”
Anon shrugged and smirked. “What can I say, I am an exotic finger-wiggler. Does that not intrigue you more—ack!”
“Careful, Anon. My patience is thin.”
“Verily—I-I mean, crystal.”
She smiled rather softly under her frazzled appearance and clopped her forehooves together. “You are picking up on my words.”
“Got your Luna lingo down at this point,” Anon replied.
“Good, otherwise, I’d need to work harder to influence you—wait, what am I doing?” She frowned. “I’m supposed to be angry at you!”
“Angry?”
“Yes!”
“At me?”
“Who else?”
…
She had a point though. “Yeah, you’re right—wait, what about your sister?”
“She’s… infuriating sometimes, but she has our interests in heart.”
Right. “Makes sense. But why are you supposed to be angry at me? It sounds like I didn’t do anything other than exist.”
She sighed. “You exist with me and that’s the problem.”
Anon tilted his head. “So are you suggesting we break up?”
“N-No! Never!” Luna shouted. She hopped on her hind legs to loop her forehooves around his shoulders. She nuzzled into his neck as she continued, “I would never want to lose you. I need you, here, with me.”
He hugged her close and returned the nuzzle in kind. “Then let me help you.”
She shivered in his grasp. “I… I don’t know if you can.”
“You don’t know?”
She squirmed out of his grip and fell back onto her haunches. She looked up at him before rubbing her temples with her forehooves. “The matters of the dream realm are of mine to hold. I could pull you in just to witness it, but I’d rather just explain this issue.
“See, some ponies have gotten curious. They have gotten curious not only of you, but of me, too. They want to know what I see in you. Yet, some… some wish to break that bond as a fantasy in their dreams. A creative leisure that Cadance would frame it as, but one that I do not take kindly to.”
Anon snorted. “The Princess of Love strikes again.”
Luna giggled behind her forehoof. “Verily, she did. But…” She paused, before her face fell. “I… I got to see all that creativity without my consent and, well, I can’t seem to sleep without somepony wanting to ruin something that makes me so happy and—eep!”
Anon jumped into action. He leveled himself with her and pulled her back in for a hug, nearly causing her to fall into him. “We’re sleeping together, right now.”
“A-Are you sur—”
“More sure than ever. If I’m going to help you with this, then you need to show me what you're experiencing,” he replied, giving her a light kiss to the base of her horn before nuzzling her cheek. “Okay?”
She smiled and hopped up to him again, looking at him at eye level. “M’kay,” she said, before giving him a half-lidded gaze and a smirk to boot. “Then take us to our bed, my human.”
“Say less,” Anon whispered, before carrying her to her bed.
The two were sleeping when suddenly Anon felt a tug.
He opened his eyes. The world around him was engulfed in a spatial void where Auroras danced around him. Some green. Some pink. Some blues too, and a purple to boot. He looked around and wondered how he got there. And then, he saw her.
Luna.
She was frantic in her steps. She was galloping toward him. She skidded to a halt in front of him and hugged him close.
He returned it in kind.
“Anon…”
“Hey, Moonbutt. Is this your realm?”
She nodded. “Y-Yes. I am dreaming and—”
“Show me what’s bothering you.”
“Are you sure?”
He petted her mane, which made her fall into him. “I’m more than sure. I love you and—”
She pulled herself back and smiled. “Then, love, you shall see what ails me.”
The world around them changed. What was once a spiraling vortex of colors and particles now was a green grassland. Behind them was a forest, and across the way was a small stream that cut randomly through the area. A dirt path led to where they lay.
And atop, was Anon—no, another Anon with a different mare in his company.
The two talked while he and Luna watched quietly.
“It’s good nopony else followed us.”
“You’re right.”
…
“You think ponies will accept us?”
“They will.”
…
“Have you read ‘Life is a Coffee Bean’?”
“Please don’t mention that here.”
…
Anon, the real one, was confused. What was going on?
He turned to look at Luna. She was trembling, her lip twitching out of control. He brought her close. “That’s not me, Luna.”
“I know…”
“Then why?”
“I just hate seeing this. I don’t want you to—”
“—leave?” He saw her gently nod. She nuzzled into his form. “Luna, you don’t need to worry about that. I love you.”
She squirmed. “I know. This is just a sick mind game I’m playing with myself and—”
“These aren’t nightmares you know. You could just ignore them.”
“You think I don’t know that?” she growled at him.
The world around them changed once more. It returned to emptiness, save for the Auroras that danced around them, lighting up the only platform that they stood on. She glared at him, her wings extended.
“I know that they aren’t. But I see them every time and every time I see them, they become my nightmares. I—”
“Then tell me when you have them. Talk to me about them. I’ll ease your concerns faster than you can ease them yourself. I mean, look what this has brought you: no sleep, stress, and most importantly, your looks.”
“My looks?”
“You look horrible, Luna. I’m not going to sugarcoat it.”
She hung her head. “So then what am I supposed to do?”
He smiled and brought her close. “Talk to me. Cuddle with me. Hell, if you want, let’s get Celly to clear your schedule tomorrow. I’ll stay with you and I’ll remind you that no one else has my attention but you.”
“Verily?”
“Verily, and then some,” Anon said with a toothy smirk.
She let out a brief blow before giving Anon a lick on the cheek. “My human.”
“You better recognize.”
…
The two laughed as the world around them descended into darkness.
“So, Celestia.”
“Yes, Anon?”
“Are you happy that I fixed Luna?”
…
“Yes. She’s finally not looking like a zombie.”
“I heard that!”
Celestia giggled behind her hoof. She called out to Luna, who was in the other room currently dealing with… something. Anon couldn’t remember what it was. He was too busy focusing on how he got to this point. Yesterday, he had been comforting Luna all night not only in her room, but in her dreams.
And then this morning, they talked, cuddled, and did exactly as Anon said. A whole lot of nothing. A time to destress, a time to recover.
After they destressed, Luna was finally energized enough to meet with Celestia to reassure her that she was okay. Ever since then, even Celestia had cleared her schedule. It was a matter of importance to make time for her sister, as she had told a noble who had been picking his muzzle.
Together, the three were alone, save for Righty and Lefty being put on duty (not by Anon’s recommendation whatsoever!) outside the door to the dining room, which was now converted into a room for mayhem to be endured.
While Luna was doing whatever she was doing in the other room adjacent, he and Celestia were tempting their fates.
“You’re welcome, sister!”
Anon laughed. “You think she’s going to charge in here because you said that?”
“Yes. But that’ll be your problem, not mine.”
“What?”
Suddenly, the door opened. Anon was sitting there, alone, as Celestia had teleported out of there without him even hearing her exit. With that, he just sat there like a deer in headlights, hoping that Luna was not going to spear him with her horn.
“Anon…”
“Yes, Moonbutt?”
“My sister…”
He sighed. “She just left.”
She groaned. “Drat.”
The two shared a glance, before Luna smirked, sashaying up to him.
“In that case, if she’s truly gone,” Luna began, licking her lips. She opened a wing and wrapped it around Anon, pulling him close. “Wanna make out?”
Was there ever any doubt?
Author's Note
Songs used to write this heaping pile of "What?"
1.
2.
Any feedback is appreciated. 
BONUS: Does This Come With A ⏪ Button?
Author's Note
NOTE: This is not required reading and is disconnected from the original fic. However, I've been thinking about this fic for a bit, and had a conversation with golabi2101 that somehow created this monstrosity against humanity.
I don't think I can make a sequel to this fic, but I hope this little bonus chapter will either make you laugh, or suddenly make you wish you could rewind back to around... twenty minutes ago, when you didn't know these words existed. Either way, Merry Christmas. Or Easter. Or whatever holiday lands on today.
Thank golabi on your way out by commenting "Nightmare Star's Revenge >", please.
Also music that I listened to for this update:
BONUS: Does This Come With A ⏪ Button?
“So… you’re not mad?”
“Luna, I could never be mad at you.”
Anon was currently laying down under the sheets of his lover’s bed, stewing in the afterglow of their rather steamy make out session. His nerves were currently on high alert, and his brain was currently misfiring on all cylinders. Yet, somehow, he was giving the best advice of his life to his marefriend while hugging her close.
He should’ve gone into counseling.
“Are you sure?”
He nodded. “Obviously.”
“Even if I was a piece of moon rock?”
“Even if you were a piece of—wait, what?”
“Moon rock,” Luna said as her brows somewhat furrowed. She groaned. “I am the Mare of the Moon, after all.”
He rolled his eyes. “Yes, even if you were a piece of moon rock.”
She hummed softly to herself, before looking back up at him. “Even if I was a—”
“Snail, cockatrice, manticore, a glob of ink on a page; heck, even if you were Blueblood’s distant cousin who had rebelled against nobility—none of that matters to me. As long as you are who you are, Luna, then I’d love you, you silly pony. That’s what matters, right?”
Her muzzle scrunched up. There’s something else to this, wasn’t there? “Y-Yes.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me?”
She gasped and eeped her way into her wing. “Uhh…”
Anon rubbed her withers. “Uhh?”
“Uhh.”
He blinked once. Then twice. Then three times.
…
“Okay, can you actually tell me what you just said?”
She giggle-snorted into a tizzy and connuzzled him, his neck now feeling ten times more fuzzy than usual. “I apologize, Anon. I did not mean to confuse you.”
“Well please enlighten me on what you were trying to do.”
She laughed. “I thought you understood me! We were having an in-depth conversation about the intricacies of our moon and then you became confused—”
“Luna…”
Anon’s sudden interjection led her to sigh. “I see it is no time to jest, huh?”
He pecked her on the cheek. “It isn’t, but I’m patient.”
“I am glad you are—”
“But seriously, if you run this joke into the ground, I will send you to Celestia and we tickle you to the point of no return.”
“With feathers?”
She looked at Anon with those ‘don’t tempt me with a good time’ eyes, and Anon knew that she was definitely messing with him. Either that, or she was into that, and he would note it for later. He hoped for the latter.
“Whatever you’d like.”
She moaned slightly, and that set him off, clutching his stomach as he bellowed out his rancorous laughter. “L-Luna, oh my god!”
“Temptation breeds immolation through the funny bone, Anon.”
“I… I-I don’t know how to respond to that.”
“Neither do I!” Luna chirped before nuzzling into his cheek. She smiled. “I am so glad that you and I have fixed everything… well, except for what I’m about to tell you.”
She had him in the first half, and now he was about to witness a train run over a family of four at sixty miles per hour. “And you want me to not be mad, right?”
“Oh, I do not wish to upset you, Anon, but I believe fully that you will at least be disappointed in me.”
“Luna, I am not your father. Vader is.”
“What?”
He chuckled. “Sorry, another human reference. I’ll tell you about it later.” He cleared his throat. “Look, whatever it is, just know that I want to make sure you’re comfortable. It’s not about the ending, it’s about the—”
“I recorded you making out with another pony.”
“—jouuurrrrrneeeeyyyy.”
Anon felt his jaw dislocate itself.
“Luna?”
“What? It’s a completely normal thing to do!”
Okay, now it dislocated itself. He could feel pain coursing through his head and down his spine. It raised straight down it to the point of shocking himself to near death. Somehow, despite all of the pain, he popped his jaw right back in place to say what he had in mind, “That is not normal whatsoever!”
She raised a brow before she began to mumble to herself, “I must have read the Canterlot Inquirer wrong…”
???
“Wait, did you read a gossip magazine to learn how to ‘record dreams’?”
She shook her head. “No, I knew how to do that. It's a pretty good tool to use just in case if I wanted to reference something, like a pattern a pony may have in their dreams.” She smiled. “It was how I found out why Derpy, one of Twilight’s friends, was having nightmares about packages falling from the sky.”
“What would’ve caused that?”
“Too much spaghetti. It was causing her to have way too much gas.”
“I wish I could rewind this conversation right now, because I wish I didn’t know about this or you recording a fake me making out with another pony in your dreams.”
“So you are mad!” Luna exclaimed, pointing a forehoof at his chest. “I knew it!”
He snorted. “Not mad, just… worried for your health. Why would you keep that, of all things, saved?”
Her muzzle scrunched up again. “It was… unreasonably hot. You did this thing where you pulled her mane and—”
“Nope. Nope. You can tell me the inner workings of Luna later. I’m not buying this.” He pointed a finger right at her muzzle, and then shoved it to boop her snoot. “You are still hiding something. Were you trying to use it to blackmail me?”
Luna blinked, before popping off her pillow. “N-No! I wouldn’t do that!”
“Were you going to use it to make fun of me?”
“No…”
“Then why?”
She twiddled with her forehooves. “It was to remember the pony who made out with you that way I can maim—”
“No, not buying that either.”
She sighed and threw her hooves in the air. “I’m sorry, Anon! I didn’t mean to save it, really. I just… I was just jealous.”
“Jealous?”
…
She looked away for a moment before looking back at him with a sidelong glance, a slight red tinge gracing her cheeks. “Yes. Jealous. Just like with every other pony who dreamt of you. I was worried I’d lose you to them, and this one in particular stuck with me.”
He sighed. “So much that you recorded it to possibly show to me.”
“Yes. I… I didn’t want you to discover it on your own—”
“Sorry, I’m interrupting you here. How would I discover it when it’s in your head?”
She froze and tilted her head. Then, she nodded. “You do make a good point, Anon. This is why I love you.”
“Thanks, but that’s not excusing your behavior.”
She hung her head into his chest. “I…” She coughed and looked back up at him with eyes that could threaten his heart. “I’m sorry, Anon.”
He gently petted her mane. “I would love to say it’s okay, but unfortunately, I now have to witness this recording of yours.”
“Really? Why?”
Anon smirked. “I have to take notes so I can use them on you later. Well, plus I have to figure out how you record dreams. Was that a talent you were born with or—ack!”
He rubbed his head as Luna puffed out her cheeks. They were as red as can be from the blush she was wearing—it looked good on her. “Annnoonnnn!”
“Yeah?”
She shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Take a nap so we can see this little dream you were hiding from me?”
“And then…?”
“Delete it so you don’t feel guilty about it anymore?”
…
“Sounds like a perfect way to end a relationship.”
???
Anon tilted his head. “I think you’re missing a word or two there, Luna.”
She smiled. “I know. I just wanted to see your nose wrinkle up and—see? Just like that!”
The two laughed one final time before—
“By the way, who was the pony I was making out with?”
Luna licked her lips and grinned. “Oh, it was my sister!”
