Wheel Of Femshipsby Crimson EnjoyerChaptersTrixie X Mare-Do WellPinkie X SpitfireCelestia X MaudApplejack X ApplejackTwilight X Daring DoChrysalis X Golden HarvestRainbow Dash X 3 RaritysTrixie X Mare-Do WellAnother day, another standing ovation. That’s what Trixie thought to herself as she packed her magic equipment into her wagon. That night’s show had been one of her best received in recent memory, despite how distracted she was during it. Why was she distracted, you ask? Well, the answer to that came in the form of a letter that had been mysteriously delivered to her that morning. The blue unicorn stepped inside the wagon, and saw the letter, lying there on her hammock. The paper was then enveloped in a blue aura as Trixie floated it towards her and read it once again: When we last meet, you said you’d like to see me again sometime. As it turns out, I’m free tonight. And I really wanna see you again, too. Meet me in the alleyway next to Bon-Bon’s candy shop, after sundown. I’ll be there, in uniform. Oh, and you should probably bring an umbrella, I heard it’s gonna rain tonight. -M Though she had read it before, Trixie still blushed at the letter’s contents. That mare, that wonderfully mysterious, strong, fashionable, heroic mare wanted to see her. Trixie may have liked to boost her own ego at every opportunity and then some, but finding out somepony like that was interested in her in any capacity, well, that’s an ego boost on a whole other level. Which is exactly why I have to say calm and professional, she thought to herself. The Great and Powerful Trixie is not some schoolgirl with a crush. She is a grown mare with a completely understandable infatuation. With that thought, she looked at the letter again. And immediately sprinted towards her mirror. She brushed her mane until there was not a single stray hair, applied rouge to her cheeks, and even put on the tiniest bit of black eyeliner. Happy with how she looked, she got up and trotted towards her cape and hat, but hesitated. She said she’d be coming in her costume, would only be fair for me to do the same, right? This made sense to her, but a part of her felt the desire to more fully show off her figure. That desire won. She left her magician clothes behind, and got her umbrella out from under her hammock. Good thing she did too, as it began pouring down the very second she opened her door. The candy shop loomed in the distance. Trixie cantered forwards, the rain falling hard against her umbrella, as she mentally prepared herself for conversation. Best to open with something quip-y, like “long time no see”, or “fancy meeting you here”. No, wait, I should open by asking why she wanted to see me. Or, maybe I should let her do the opening? Round and round she went until she finally came to face the alley way. Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward, slowly making her way towards the pitch black darkness at the end of the path. She stopped however when a figure began to come out from the darkness. It was her. Clad in a dark lavender body suit, with a lighter colored cape, hat, and boots, and her true identity hidden underneath a menacing mask, it was her. The Mysterious Mare Do-Well. Sweet Celestia, she’s so cool, Trixie thought as she attempted to say her greetings, that first opening line that would show off her immense wit and cool-headedness. “H-h-hi.” Or that would make her sound like Fluttershy. That works too. “I was worried you weren’t gonna come.” Her voice was a bit deep, and smooth as butter. It also sounded surprisingly clear given she was wearing a mask. “Y-you were?” “Yeah, thought I mighta come off a bit strong.” Trixie giggled. “You thought writing a letter was ‘coming off strong’?” “Well, writing a letter and sneaking into your wagon to put it on your… hammock, that’s a little bit creepy in retrospect, don’ja think?” “Hmm, well,” Trixie inched closer. “Maybe I like a little bit creepy,” she said, gazing at the costumed mare with lidded eyes and a small toothy smile. “Is that so?” said Mare-Do Well in a low, almost seductive voice. Trixie felt her cheeks become red once again. “I wanted to thank you, again… for saving me, I mean.” “Just doin’ my job. Though, I gotta ask, what made you think untying yourself from rope while you were 40 feet in the air, and with a magic inhibitor on your horn, was a good idea?” Trixie rubbed the back of her neck with an embarrassed grin. “Admittedly, not my most well thought out act.” Mare-Do Well stepped closer. “I was at your show today, ya know.” “You were?!” Trixie said excitedly, before catching herself and faking a cough. “I mean… you were?” “Mm-hmm. You’re one hell of a performer.” She stepped closer still. “And you’re one hell of a looker, too.” Though her face was now red as an apple, Trixie didn’t shyly turn her head away or get flustered. Instead, she began stepping closer herself. “I should say the same about you.” “You do know I’m wearin’ a mask, right?” Mare-Do Well said playfully. Despite this fact, Trixie could tell she was smiling. “Maybe you should take it off,” Trixie said with a smirk. “And then everything else off too,” she muttered. Mare-Do Well chuckled. “You’re pretty damn forward. And you’re damn pretty. I like that.” “Right on both counts,” Trixie replied with a devious smile and a flared horn, revealing Mare-Do Well’s stylish headwear to be in her possession, floating it next to her. The costumed mare’s eyes widened as she reached over head for confirmation. Trixie inspected the hat from multiple angles. “This is a pretty nice hat.” “Yeah, and I’m gonna need it back.” “Why don’t you come and get it?” Trixie asked in a low voice as she hid the hat behind her mane. Seeming to get the hint, Mare-Do Well stepped forward until there was barely any distance between the two. She brought a fore hoof up to Trixie’s chin, lifting up the unicorn’s head as she straightened her posture, making herself appear taller. The two gazed at each other with half-lidded eyes, their muzzles inches apart. Trixie reached forward to cup Mare-Do Well’s cheek, but was stopped. “Close your eyes.” Trixie felt like protesting, but the softness in the masked mare’s voice and the sensation of the unique situation changed her mind. She did as was asked of her, and placed her hoof on the mare’s cheek. She then lowered it down to her neck, and felt an open seam, which she slid her hoof under. As Trixie lifted the mask off, she could feel the mare’s coat. It felt fluffy, but well groomed. At last, the mask was gone. She couldn’t see her face, but she could at least touch it. Wasting no more time, Mare-Do Well closed the distance, and Trixie felt a pair of soft lips against her own. She lost track of time as the kiss deepened, as their mouths opened, and they played with their tongues. Trixie wrapped both her forelegs around Mare-Do Well’s neck, Mare-Do Well reciprocating by wrapping one around Trixie’s waist. All good things must come to end though, and their muzzles parted. Even as she felt the mystery mare’s taste leave her mouth, Trixie kept her eyes closed. When she could no longer feel the mare’s presence anywhere near her, she heard her voice. “You can open your eyes now.” She did just that, and saw that she was alone. She also realized the hat was no longer in her possession. On the ground where Mare-Do Well had stood moments ago, lay a single rose. Trixie’s heart fluttered. She picked up the rose and held it close to her chest, and looked up at the night sky. “Until we meet again.” Author's Note So this is something a little different. This is an idea that i just sorta had randomly while i was outside today, and i figured, "f@!# it, why not?" This was the first combination i got, and it was just such an interesting idea that i had to write it first. The next one after this is probably gonna be a funnier one. You can do this yourself if ya feel like it. Feel free to comment whatever wacky combinations you get, i might even add it to the list. Unless of you course, you decide to make your story. Pinkie X Spitfire“Thank you and have a super-tastic evening!” Pinkie waved goodbye at the customer, and once they were gone, leaped over the counter to the door, and put up the ‘closed’ sign. Normally, she considered closing time the saddest time of the day, but she had plans tonight. Plans she wouldn’t miss for even a triple-layered chocolate cake with strawberry jam filling. She next bolted up stairs to her room, and inspected her closet. “What do you think I should wear, Gummy?” she asked, looking over a rack of 7 identical clown costumes. The Alligator said nothing. “You’re right, I should just go in my casual wear,” she said, grabbing a black tux and top hat out from the bottom of the closet. The Alligator said nothing. After putting on the fit, Pinkie checked herself out in the mirror. “Lookin’ Good, Pinkamena. Wish me luck, Gummy!” She kissed him on the forehead and ran for the door. The Alligator opened his mouth… and closed it. Standing outside, Pinkie reached for the pocket watch kept inside her jacket. ‘She’ would be arriving any moment. At that exact second, a ‘she’ did arrive, though not the one Pinkie was expecting. “Pinkie?” The pink pony in question turned her head to see a white unicorn trotting towards her with a puzzled expression. “Oh hey, Rarity! Whatcha doin’?” “I should ask you quite the same, Miss Pie. What’s with... all this?” she gestured to Pinkie’s ensemble. “Oh, you mean my tux? I always wear my tux to dates!” Rarity’s eyes widened in shock, but it was soon followed by a joyful smile. “You’re going on a date? Oh, Pinkie, darling, that’s simply marvellous! Who is it, do I know him?” Before Pinkie could correct her on that last part, a loud whooshing sound brought their attention to the skies, where they saw a yellow and blue blur spinning in a circle. The blur then fell downwards, and dramatically landed on the ground only a few feet in front of the two mares, revealing it to be none other than Spitfire, striking a pose on her landing. Getting up, Spitfire lifted her goggles and grinned at Pinkie. “Hey there, Pinks. I’m not late, am I?” “Nope! You’re just on time like always, Spitty!” Pinkie gleefully bounced over to the Wonderbolt and grabbed on to her shoulders. The mares immediately locked lips in a long, impassioned kiss. “Well, let’s stop wasting time,” Spitfire said once they parted lips. She swept Pinkie off her hooves, Pinkie giggling all the while, and took flight. Pinkie embraced her tightly, and nuzzled her neck as they flew off into the setting sun. Back down on the ground, Rarity stared on with wide eyes and a hanging jaw. “What?” Within 20 minutes, the pair had reached their destination: A pizza joint at the edge of town. Spitfire gently lowered Pinkie backed down and the two smiled at each other for a bit in front of the entrance. “You look really cute in that,” said Spitfire, earning a blush from Pinkie. “And you look hot as lava,” Pinkie countered with playful sultriness. The two entered the establishment and, as one would expect to happen when a Wonderbolt and a mare dressed in a fancy black suit and top hat both entered a fairly cheap pizzeria at the same time, everypony looked at them. The couple didn’t seem to notice though, not the stares, nor how wildly out of place they both looked. They simply cantered on until they found a table that was to their liking. A waiter came by, and was given their order of a pizza with 16 different toppings, including potato chips, apple slices, pickles, donuts, and more. Surprisingly, the restaurant did in fact offer all of those as toppings. While they waited for their “food”, the two of them started talking. “So how’re things going at the academy?” “Eh, can’t complain. For every first day dropout, there’s two future Wonderbolts to make up for it. Honestly, we’ve got so many promising candidates now, we might have to consider bumping up the number of slots. As for me, I’ve been trying out that whole “positive reinforcement” crap, and… I hate to admit but, it does seem to work. Sometimes. But, hey, that’s enough about me. What’s been goin’ on with you?” “Oh, it’s been pretty much the same, which is to say, super-duper! Sometimes fun stuff happens and the whole town gets in on it, and then me or one of my friends will learn a valuable lesson about friendship, or life, or economic inflation!” “Economic inflation?” “Long story. But, yeah, nothin’ new to report from Ponyville.” Spitfire chuckled. “Still sounds more exciting than my day-to-day. I mean, being a Wonderbolt-“ “Captain of the Wonderbolts,” Pinkie corrected with a smile. “Heh, right. Yeah, it’s pretty great and all, and my team’s the best, really, they’re all just about the best friends a pony could ask for, but-“ Spitfire paused, and smacked her forehead. “Ugh, there I go, making it about me again.” “It’s fine, Spitty! I love hearing you talk about your work.” “And I love hearing you talk about your life! I shouldn’t be making tonight just about me.” Pinkie leaned over and put a forehoof over Spitfire’s, smiling warmly. “C’mon, sweetie, I don’t mind. And it sounds like you have some stuff on your mind, so I want to hear it.” The two smiled lovingly at each other for several seconds before being snapped back to reality by the waiter. “Here you go!” The 16 topping abomination was placed on to their table. Spitfire stared at the so-called “pizza” with wide eyes, it was quite a bit bigger than she was expecting. “Man, I’m not sure how much of this I could even get in.” “More for me, then!” Pinkie beamed. Half an hour later, the couple exited the pizzeria, laughing and stumbling about as Spitfire draped a wing over Pinkie. They weren’t drunk, they were just stumbling because stumbling is fun. Pinkie nuzzled Spitfire’s neck and nestled into her embrace as they trotted back to Sugarcube Corner. As they made their way through town, though, Pinkie couldn’t help but frown as she remembered something. “So… what were you gonna say earlier?” “Hmm?” “You were talking about being a Wonderbolt is great and how your team is the best, but there was a ‘but’. What’s the ‘but’?” Spitfire sighed. “All that stuff is true. It’s just that, well…” Pinkie nudged her on, putting her head under Spitfire’s chin. “Yeah?” “I guess… I’m just getting kinda, bored with it all. I’ve been doing this for 12 years, and it’s been awesome, but… maybe it’s also been enough. Maybe it’s time I hang up the mantle, let someone else take over.” “You… wanna quit the Wonderbolts?” Pinkie looked shocked. “Maybe.” The two stayed in silence for a moment, before Pinkie spoke up. “Well! It’s your decision, Spitty. Whatever you decide to do, I’m sure it’ll be the right choice.” “You’re not gonna try and talk me out of it?” Pinkie pecked her on the cheek. “Like I said, it’s your decision. And whether you leave the Wonderbolts tomorrow, or stay with them for another 12 years, I’ll support you.” Spitfire sighed again, but with a smile this time. “Thanks, Pinks. Say, you wanna ride home? It’s getting pretty late, and it’s gonna take a while to get back to your place on hoof.” “Ookie-Dokie!” “Great, cuz the quicker we get there, the quicker we can-“ Spitfire leaned into Pinkie’s ear and whispered something that elicited a strong blush from the pink pony. 1 hour later, both ponies were laying on Pinkie’s bed, panting with frazzled manes, and embracing each other. “That was awesome,” Spitfire said in a strained voice. Pinkie giggled in agreement, and starting rubbing circles in Spitfire’s chest. “So, you staying over for the night?” “Yeah, I think I can do that.” “Great, because I really like falling asleep while spooning. Which reminds me, can I be big spoon tonight?” “Sure thing, babe.” The mares shared a last good night kiss before getting into position, and drifting off to sleep. Gummy, who had slept through the entire thing, woke up and pitter-pattered towards the open window, staring into the night sky. He still didn’t say anything. Author's Note My chosen name for this ship would be "PinkFire" but knowing this community, if this ever actually were a popular ship it'd be probably be called something stupid like "SpitPie". Like seriously guys, FlutterPie was right there, and you went with PinkieShy? That's just silly. Celestia X MaudCONTENT WARNING: HEAVY SUGGESTIVE/SENSUAL ELEMENTS Maud Pie gazed out at the ocean, the water rippling and the waves crashing in a hypnotic rhythm. The mineral particles beneath her hooves, often referred to as “sand”, gave her a unique feeling of freedom whenever she touched it. A strong white light shined above her, and when she looked into it, she saw the silhouette of a tall pony with wings and a horn. It was her. “I knew you’d come.” Celestia floated down to the earth with more grace and elegance than any other living creature could hope to achieve. Even when the light had subsided, her indescribable beauty was blinding in of itself. She smiled warmly at Maud, and slowly trotted towards her. The Alicorn’s tall, strong legs gave her every step a sense of purpose. She loomed over the Earth Pony, her might, power, and radiance enough to overpower any ordinary equine. Maud was no ordinary equine, though. Her resolve remained unchanged, and she continued to stare deeply into the Princess’s eyes. Acting boldly, she lifted a fore hoof, and stroked Celestia’s chest. Celestia responded in kind by cupping Maud’s cheek, raising the smaller mare’s head, while she lowered her own. There was no need for words, they both closed their eyes, and leaned their muzzles forwards, and in a single, time-stopping moment, their lips made contact. Celestia’s lips tasted of the sweetest exotic fruit, it was a sensation that mere words couldn’t do justice. The kiss began slow, but as passions ignited, it grew in fury. Maud opened her mouth, giving the Alicorn’s tongue full access. She welcomed it with her own tongue. Their lips parted, but their mouths remained open as their tongues danced, wildly licking and flicking. Moans of pleasure escaped their throats, and this was just the beginning. Slowly, Celestia unbuckled the belt holding Maud’s sweater tight. She slid her hooves underneath Maud’s skirt and- “-And that’s what I’ve written so far. I wanted to get some feedback on the foreplay before I started on the actual intercourse part. So, what did you think.” Starlight looked at Maud, then back at the paper, then back at Maud again. Her expression was completely flat as always. Not really knowing how to process what she just read, Starlight said the first thing that came to her mind. “You’re writing erotica about yourself and Princess Celestia?” “Yes.” “Ok, but… why?” “I find her exceedingly attractive and have had several fantasies about her. Sexual fantasies, to be specific.” “Yeah, no, I got that. So, you decided to write a story based on these fantasies-“ “Yes.” “-And you’re asking me for constructive criticism for your self-indulging erotic literature involving another real pony?” “Yes.” Starlight furrowed her brow in contemplation for a few moments, before settling on her answer. “It was kinda hot.” “Yes, beaches tend to get very warm in the summer.” Author's Note Because sometimes you get a combination that is just so conceptually funny you have to make at least something out of it. I hope this isn't considered too spicy for the T rating. P.S this chapter and the one before it were supposed to have come out several hours ago, but wouldn't ya know it, power outage. Applejack X ApplejackStirring awake, Applejack found herself in what was decidedly not her bedroom at her family’s house in Sweet Apple Acres. Thankfully, it did seem to be a bedroom of some kind, as she was currently lying on a bed. After a few moments of groggy scanning, she deduced that her current location was one of the many, many spare bedrooms in Twilight’s castle. Honestly, Twilight could probably run a hotel business out of the castle with how many rooms it had. “What happened last night,” Applejack wondered out loud as she rubbed her eyes. It was when she opened them again that she came to the realization she was not the only one in bed. Only a few inches away, another pony was fast asleep with their back turned to Applejack. They had an orange coat, a long blond mane, and seemed to be a mare. Applejack stared dumbly for several seconds, but once her mind finished processing all the available information, her eyes widened in horror. “There’s no way…” The mare began to stir, and finally she awoke in much the same fashion Applejack did. She looked around the room for a bit until her eyes landed on… herself. The two Applejacks gazed at each other in silence with wide eyes and blank expressions for what seemed like an infinity. Finally, one of them spoke. “Oh my god.” 2 weeks earlier, in another dimension… “So, let me get this straight,” said Rainbow Dash. “You want to go to Equestria to have your 20th birthday party there?” “Yes,” Sunset nodded. “And you want all of us to come to Equestria with you,” Rarity continued, gesturing to the five other girls at the table. “That’s right,” Sunset nodded again. There were a few seconds of silence. “So just to be clear, you want us all to celebrate your birthday as horses?” Sunset frowned. “Ponies, and yes, I would like that very much.” “Ponies, horses,” Rainbow did an up and down gesture with her hands. “What’s the difference?” “Well, actually, I’ve done a bit of research on Equestrian life forms before, and there is quite a distinction between the Pony creatures of that universe and the horses of this one,” Twilight said, straightening her glasses. “For instance, the-“ She stopped mid-sentence when she noticed the unamused look on Rainbow’s face, and blushed. “Sorry. Not the point, I know.” Sunset put her hand on Twilight’s shoulder and smiled warmly. “It’s fine, babe. Now,” she turn her attention back to the group, “Party in Equestria, what do you all think?” The girls exchanged looks and quietly contemplated, until Applejack broke the silence. “Well shoot, I don’t got a problem with it.” “Yeah!” Pinkie agreed loudly. “Parties are fun, turning into a magical horse is fun, so a party where we all turn into magical horses will be like, quadruple fun!!” “I suppose it would be a…unique experience,” said Rarity, rubbing her chin. “And if memory serves, that castle that Princess Twilight lives in is simply divine!” “Yeah, if you’re looking at it from the inside,” Sunset muttered. “Oh I would absolutely love to go back to Equestria,” Fluttershy practically squealed. “It was so pretty, and we all looked so cute as ponies, with our big eyes and little hooves and colorful manes and coats, I think having your birthday there would be wonderful, Sunset!” “Eh, sounds like fun,” Rainbow said with a shrug. Sunset smiled brightly. “So, we’re all in agreement then?” “Totally.” “Certainly.” “Absolutely!” “Heck yeah!” “You betcha.” And back to right now… “Alright, so,” Applejack began, rubbing her forehead. “Y’all came here to have Sunset Shimmer’s birthday party in Twi’s castle-“ “That’s right,” Applejack confirmed. “And we, as in, the other versions of y’all, came to the party too…” “Eeyup.” Everything was coming back to her. The party went on well into the night, and there was quite a lot of cider present. Hard cider. “So, you and me got drunk, found this room, and did…this,” said Applejack. “That sounds about right,” Applejack agreed. “Just, uh… one issue with that. I didn’t drink any alcohol last night.” Applejack looked confused, before another realization struck her. “Neither did I.” Applejack A and Applejack 1 simply sat there, disturbed looks plastered on both their faces, their heads turned away from each other. “So… we did this…voluntarily.” “Eeyup.” “….” “….” “We can never speak of this to anyone.” “Agreed.” Minutes passed as they continued sitting there in the mother of all awkward silences, until a thought broke its way into Applejack’s head. It was a thought she tried to kick away, but eventually she decided, f@#! It. “Wanna do it again?” Author's Note I swear this will be the only Cloneship story i do in this fic. Probably. Twilight X Daring DoTwilight struggled against the bindings. The lava underneath her boiled and sizzled, and lit the chamber in a menacing orange glow. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, Geldingo,” she exclaimed with furfur. “I’m an Equestrian princess, if words gets out that you kidnapped me, you could face jail time of up to 3 lifetimes!” The dark brown stallion simply laughed as he wiped dirt of his lab coat. “Then I’ll just have to make sure nopony ever finds out about this. I believe the best way to do that, is to kill you, and Daring Do as well!” “You don’t have to do this, you’re a brilliant scientist, you can use your intellect for the good of equinity, not just for stealing ancient artifacts!” Twilight pleaded, desperation clear in her voice. “I suppose so, but where’s the fun in that!” Geldingo pranced towards a control panel. “Once I activate my Mega-Drill, the tomb of Epona will be opened for the first time in seven thousand years, and all of its riches will be mine for the taking!” He turned his attention to an impractically big lever. “Now, my dear princess, I’m afraid it’s time for you to meet your maker!” He laughed maniacally, and pulled the lever. The lava began to steadily rise up, inching closer to Twilight’s bound form. She could feel the approaching heat on her back hooves, and tried struggling with the rope again. “Au revoir!” exclaimed the mad scientist as he cantered towards the exit. “Not so fast, Geldingo!” Both ponies turned their heads to the direction of the voice, Twilight smiling giddily while Geldingo groaned. Standing on the above catwalk, Daring Do stood triumphantly, glaring down at Geldingo. “Ah, Daring Do, I was wondering when you were going to show up. Unfortunately, I have places to be right now, so I’m afraid I’ll simply have to kill you later.” Daring responded by grabbing a loose wire from the ceiling, swinging forwards, and landing with a back-flip. “You’re not going anywhere, I’m stopping you, and shutting down your drill.” Geldingo smirked evilly, and pointed at Twilight. “You sure you don’t want to help out your friend first?” Daring turned around to see the tied-up Alicorn staring down with fear at the slowly rising molten, and she got into position for take-off, only to hear the sound of a door closing behind her. She looked back to see that Geldingo had indeed escaped. She would just have to deal with that later. She launched towards Twilight, and landed right next to her, hanging on the wall she was bound to. “He injected me with something that made my wings stop working,” Twilight explained. “I won’t be able to fly out of here.” “Then I’ll just have to carry you,” Daring said confidently, before snapping the rope loose with a single bite, and scooping up Twilight in her forelegs. The Alicorn gazed in awe at the Pegasus, and hung on tightly as they flew back to solid, lava-less ground. When they landed and Daring gently let her back on her hooves and asked her if she was alright, Twilight continued staring in amazement at the adventurous mare, and felt an overwhelming rush of feelings she didn’t know were there. “We can’t stay here for long, do you think you could make it the rest of the way on hoof-“ Daring was interrupted by a pair of lavender lips suddenly being pressed against her own. Twilight was kissing her. When Twilight pulled her head back, her eyes widened in realization of what she had just done, and both mares blushed furiously. “We, uh… we should probably talk about… this, after we stop Geldingo,” Daring said with an awkward chuckle. “Y-yeah”, Twilight agreed, brushing her mane and looking at the floor with an embarrassed grin. “Damn you, Daring Do!!!” The scientist’s curses echoed through the caverns as he laid there, trapped under the remains of what was once the Mega-Drill. “And don’t forget about Twilight Sparkle! That’s me!” Twilight shouted back. “Yes, yes, damn you as well.” Daring and Twilight shared a laugh as they trotted away from the cave entrance. “So, what’s gonna happen to him?” “The city officials should be here within a few hours to take him in,” explained Daring, with a smirk. “I get the feeling it’ll be a pretty short trial.” Twilight giggled. “Yeah. I guess that wraps up another exciting Daring Do adventure, huh?” “Well, almost.” In a single swift motion, Daring turned to face Twilight, and leaned in to plant a kiss of her own. When they parted, a red-faced Twilight smiled brightly, while Daring grinned with half-lidded eyes. “So, I guess now’s the part where we talk about what this means and-“ she was shushed with a hoof on her lips. “We can talk later,” said Twilight, a saucy look on her face. Daring seemed to agree. The two wrapped their forelegs around each other, and went in for another kiss, this time a much longer, passionate one. I wonder if now I can get my books categorized under romance, Daring thought to herself. Author's Note Ya know, i might just have to expand this one into a full fledged story some time. I have always wanted to write an adventure story. I was considering having the ending to this reveal it to be fanfiction written by Twilight, but i figured pulling that joke two chapters in a row would be kinda lame. Chrysalis X Golden HarvestChrysalis (or Crackle Cosette, as she went by in this form) internally fumed as she walked into the Ponyville market place. I’m by far the smartest, most ruthless, and most fit to be a leader out of us three, and what do they have me do? Use my shape-shifting powers to… go shopping. What a sick joke. Despite her unhappiness with her current role in the “Triad of Evil” as Cozy Glow called it, Chrysalis couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia from it. She thought back to the olden days, when her hive was just her and a small handful of grubs, and many times she alone would have to venture into the wilderness to scavenge for food. She remembered her first few children fondly. They had all passed on of old age by this point, they had never betrayed her and sided with the enemy. The enemy who, at this very moment, she was being tasked with purchasing food from. Grumbling, Crackle Cosette trotted towards the first stand that caught her eye. It was a carrot stand. Don’t think I’ve eaten a carrot before, come to think of it. The mare running the stand, a rather pretty mare with a curly orange mane and a yellowish white coat, smiled brightly when she saw her approaching. “Hi! Are you new in town?” “Yes. I’m… visiting from Canterlot for the week,” Crackle replied, with a smile that definitely seemed real. “Oh, really? I’ve always wanted to go to Canterlot myself,” said the mare at the stand with a smile of her own. Chrysalis cursed herself internally, now this mare would start talking her ear off, asking her all about Canterlot and- “So, how many carrots would you like?” Crackle blinked. It seemed this pony wasn’t as annoyingly chatty as the others she had met (and in a few cases, been forced to live with). “…six. Yeah, six carrots. Please.” “Coming right up,” the mare exclaimed, beaming. She disappeared underneath the stand for a few seconds, before coming back up with six carrots held in her forelegs. Crackle levitated her small brown bag towards her, and she deposited the vegetables inside. “That’ll be 2 bits, please.” “Right,” Crackle said as she pulled a small sack of bits from behind her, and floated the specified amount towards the stand. The mare continued to smile at her. “It was nice to meet you, miss…” “Crackle Cosette.” “Golden Harvest,” the mare said, properly introducing herself. “Hope to see you again, tomorrow!” “Sure thing,” Crackle nodded at Golden Harvest, and turned around to see what else the market had to offer. It was then she realized she still had a smile on her face, but it wasn’t one she had put on as part of her act, nor was it the smile of a devious mastermind like herself. It was a genuine happy smile. That’s weird. Later, in the cave of evil… “Ha! Poker!” Tirek groaned. “You don’t yell ‘Poker’ when you win at Poker.” “Maybe you don’t,” said Cozy glow as she horded the bits towards herself. “Besides, what would you know? This game was invented while you were still in Tartarus.” Before the Minotaur could offer a retort, a bag full of assorted food items was dropped unto the table. “I’m back with the food,” said a visibly disgruntled Chrysalis. The other two villains quickly went to inspect the contents of the bag, Tirek grinning as he pulled out a large red chili. Considering her work done, Chrysalis headed towards her personal chambers, but was stopped in her tracks by a small Pegasus suddenly appearing right in her face. “Aren’t you gonna eat something?” Cozy asked with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not hungry,” Chrysalis replied, swatting her away. “You look like you could use a good meal,” Cozy countered, flying in front of her again. “You’re getting’ kinda skinny.” “My figure is just fine, thank you very much,” Chrysalis responded with a huff, and swatted her away again. “You have holes in your legs,” added Tirek. “I’d hardly call that ‘just fine’.” Chrysalis, in response, shape-shifted into a monkey and flipped him off. Tirek simply snickered. She turned her attention back to Cozy. “What do you care, anyway? Last I checked, we were all supposed to only tolerate each other at best.” “I-I don’t- it’s… Look will you just F@#!ing eat something already?” Cozy snapped before flying away. Chrysalis blinked, and then turned to Tirek. “What’s with her?” “Don’t know, don’t care.” She groaned, and walked towards the table. She inspected the various fruits, vegetables, and singular loaf of bread she had spent the last half-hour acquiring. Her eyes landed on the carrots. Eh, why not. She took hold of one carrot, looked it over from all angles, and inched the top part towards her open mouth. “Wrong side,” said Tirek. Chrysalis rolled her eyes, and rotated the carrot so the pointy bit faced her maw. Finally, she took a bite. Her eyes widened. …This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted. She began greedily munching down on the vegetable, until all that remained was the green lettuce-like thing on the top. She grabbed the five remaining carrots, and scurried off to her chambers. Tirek simply sat there, chomping down on his chili, and wondering how long it would take for Chrysalis to realize she was still a monkey. The Next Day… Crackle cantered around the market place, trying to remember where the carrot stand was. Why didn’t I ever make a map of this town like I did for Celestia’s castle? Growing desperate, she turned to a stallion who happened to be waking by and put on her best ‘lost tourist’ voice. “Excuse me, can you point me in the direction of the… carrot stand?” “Oh, sure,” the stallion said happily, and pointed a hoof to a location behind Crackle. “It’s right over there!” She looked to where he was pointing, and low and behold, there was Golden Harvest, smiling as she waved off her most recent customer. Yes! There she is! …I mean, it is. The carrot stand. Where the carrots are. The carrots that I came here to buy. That carrot stand. Crackle trotted forwards, and was quickly noticed by Golden Harvest. “Oh, hello again! Come to buy more carrots?” She nodded. “Yes, I had never actually eaten a carrot before yesterday. I’ve grown a bit of a taste for them.” Golden Harvest’s eye twitched. “Ne-never, eaten a… carrot… before,” she said in a shaky voice. Oh dear. I probably shouldn’t have said that… now she’ll berate me with questions about how I could have gone all my life without- “Well, I guess… that happens sometimes,” Golden Harvest said, looking a bit nervous. “So… how many for today?” Oh. Right. I almost forgot how to the point this mare was. Crackle asked for six carrots just as she did yesterday. Golden Harvest cheerfully waved goodbye to her when she left, and this time, she waved goodbye back. For the next week, things continued on like this. Crackle would come to Golden Harvest’s carrot stand and ask for six carrots. Their interactions were always brief, but with each day, both learned something new about each other. For instance, Crackle learned that Goldie (that’s what she said her friends called her) ran a carrot farm that often competed against Sweet Apple Acres, an apple farm ran in part by none other than one of Twilight Sparkle’s friends, Applejack. In turn, Goldie learned that Crackle had dated Shining Armour at one point. It’s technically true, from a certain perspective. Chrysalis wouldn’t admit it to anyone, not even herself, but her visits to Goldie’s carrot stand had become the highlight of her day over the course of that week. Not that she would need to admit anything, as far as her two associates were aware, she had just developed a somewhat unhealthy obsession with carrots. There was one minor problem she had realized though. When I first went there, I told her I was visiting Ponyville for a week. She might not suspect anything on an eight day, or even a ninth, but beyond that... Oh, stop worrying yourself. She probably doesn’t even remember what I said, and if she does, I could easily think up a new lie. Improv has always been a talent of mine. Lie… for some reason, that word made her wince. More specifically, the idea of lying to Goldie. She had no idea why, she had more or less been lying to her this entire time. That thought didn’t make her feel better. Sitting alone on her chair, Chrysalis chowed down thoughtlessly on a carrot, contemplating her strange new feelings about the concept of deceit. In no time at all, the carrot was completely devoured, and Chrysalis reached down to the table mindlessly, only to realize she had already eaten all six of them. “Ate all of the carrots again?” Cozy said from behind, causing Chrysalis to jump out of her seat with a shriek. When she came to her senses, she glared at the small Pegasus, who smiled cockily at her. “Ya know, the way you’ve been going about this carrot thing is kinda weird." Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” “Listen,” Cozy started as she flew down and landed on the table. “I don’t know where this carrot addiction of yours suddenly came from. What I do know, is that you’ve been buying six carrots every day and then eating them all at once.” “Just get to the point,” Chrysalis growled. “What I’m saying is, why eat them all in one sitting? And if you really need six of them a day, why not just buy a whole bunch of them all at once instead of going back to Ponyville every single day. Heck, you could probably just buy like 30 and have a six-pack for each day of the week… Just like Tirek!” “….” “Get it? Cause he has a six-pack-“ “Yeah, I get it.” Staring off into space, Chrysalis thought over the filly’s words. Why had she been going back there for the whole week? And surely she could survive not eating six carrots a day. Why hadn’t she been saving them? Every question she had inevitably seemed to lead to the same answer. Goldie. Now matter how much she tried to deny it to herself, the former queen could think of nothing else. She wasn’t heading to Ponyville every day for carrots, she was doing to see Golden Harvest. It didn’t help that every time she thought of the carrot farmer, she felt a little light headed, and a tiny bit warm in the chest. Surely I can’t have grown to actually… like a pony, right? But the more she thought of Goldie, the less ‘like’ seemed like an adequate descriptor. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about her pretty mane, or her lovely voice, or how friendly yet to the point she was, or her gorgeous eyes- “Chrysalis?” Cozy’s voice startled her out of her own mind, and she furrowed her brow. “I… have to go to my chambers.” She bolted out of the room, leaving behind a thoroughly confused Cozy Glow. The Day After That…. Golden Harvest sat patiently at her carrot stand. She had been a little distracted all day, mainly because she was waiting for a very specific pony to show up, one who she wasn’t sure actually would be arriving today. It had been eight days since Crackle Cosette had first come by her little stand, and on that day, the unicorn had said she was visiting Ponyville for a week. She didn’t say anything about going back home yesterday… I even told her “see you tomorrow” and she nodded. Still, it was very much possible Crackle had gone back home without a goodbye. The thought made Golden Harvest droop a bit. She really thought they had something nice going. Her fears were put to rest however when she a bright green unicorn mare with an orange-y red mane trotting towards her. “Hey there,” she exclaimed happily. “I almost thought you weren’t gonna be here today.” “Well,” Crackle began with a pleased smile, “There’s been a change in plans, shall we say, and it looks I’m gonna be in Ponyville for another week.” Golden Harvest resisted the urge to jump for joy. “That’s great,” she said, calmly. “So, the usual?” “You bet. Although, I also wanted to ask you something.” Huh. This is different. “What is it?” Crackle stepped closer, and brushed a few loose strands of her off her face. “Would you like to go out sometime?” Author's Note Carrot doesn't feel like a word to me anymore. Rainbow Dash X 3 RaritysYa know, if you told me like, a year ago that in the not-too-distant future, I’d have not one, not two, but three girlfriends, I’d have been like “holy s@#!, awesome!” If you then told me that all three of them would be the same person, I’d have been like “wait, what?” And if you then told me that person was Rarity, I’d have asked if you were high, and then asked if I could have a hit. But apparently, you weren’t high, because at this moment, I’m relaxing on the couch watching some crime drama on the tv, with Rarity snuggled up to my right. And my left. And also lying down on my lap. Just so we’re perfectly clear, I am NOT AT ALL complaining. But still, like, how did this happen? Well, the first Rarity’s easy enough to explain. She’s the Rarity I’ve known for years, the one that’s been part of our friend group for as long as we’ve had it. I’ve always thought she was pretty hot, even before I knew I liked girls, but it wasn’t until like six months ago that I started thinkin’ about her that way, and decided “screw it, I’m gonna ask her out!” So I did, and turned out, she liked me like that too, and that’s how we became girlfriends. The second Rarity is where things get weird. So, basically, in that pony world where Twilight (the one without the glasses) and Sunset came from, there’s like this river or pond or whatever that can make clones of you or something, and I guess that world’s Rarity fell into it or something, I dunno, I was kinda tired when they were explaining it. Anyway, Rarity Numero Dos is like, a clone of Pony Rarity, and she didn’t want to go back to not-existing, so she ran away and accidentally came to this world through that quicksand portal we found during summer break. She was on that island for like a week until a navy crew found her and brought her to our hometown. Rarity (as in, the Rarity from this world) convinced Pony Twilight to not take her back to Pony world, and let her stay here. You shoulda seen her, she got all up in her face, and used a bunch a big words, it was sexy as hell. So yeah, clone Rarity started living with human Rarity, and, well, one thing lead to another, and we included her in the relationship. I don’t think I can get into details of how that happened, but let’s just say it involved a lack of clothes. Now, Rarity number 3. Honestly? I don’t even know what her deal is. She just kinda showed up one day with no explanation, but we all agreed there’s probably nothing evil or fishy about her, and then it happened again, and now, I’m dating three Raritys. And in case you’re wondering, yeah, they’re all dating each other too. And I wasn’t such an open-minded, progressive individual, I may think that that’s weird. But ya know what they say, “el amor es el amor”(that’s french, btw). Anyhoo, back to the present, the show we were watching just ended, and Rarity Number 2 just fell asleep on my legs. “Oh my, do you think we should wake her?” “Nah, I’ll just carry her upstairs.” Rarity 1 and 3 start giggling. Then Rarity 1 goes all bedroom eyes on me. “Think you could carry me, too?” And Rarity 3 joins in. “And how about me?” So yeah, my life is pretty awesome right now. Author's Note This came as a result of the wheel somehow giving me Rarity three times in a row. And yes, i did use the shuffle button. As for why this is written in first person and is also in the Egq verse this time, i dunno, i just felt like it.
Trixie X Mare-Do WellAnother day, another standing ovation. That’s what Trixie thought to herself as she packed her magic equipment into her wagon. That night’s show had been one of her best received in recent memory, despite how distracted she was during it. Why was she distracted, you ask? Well, the answer to that came in the form of a letter that had been mysteriously delivered to her that morning. The blue unicorn stepped inside the wagon, and saw the letter, lying there on her hammock. The paper was then enveloped in a blue aura as Trixie floated it towards her and read it once again: When we last meet, you said you’d like to see me again sometime. As it turns out, I’m free tonight. And I really wanna see you again, too. Meet me in the alleyway next to Bon-Bon’s candy shop, after sundown. I’ll be there, in uniform. Oh, and you should probably bring an umbrella, I heard it’s gonna rain tonight. -M Though she had read it before, Trixie still blushed at the letter’s contents. That mare, that wonderfully mysterious, strong, fashionable, heroic mare wanted to see her. Trixie may have liked to boost her own ego at every opportunity and then some, but finding out somepony like that was interested in her in any capacity, well, that’s an ego boost on a whole other level. Which is exactly why I have to say calm and professional, she thought to herself. The Great and Powerful Trixie is not some schoolgirl with a crush. She is a grown mare with a completely understandable infatuation. With that thought, she looked at the letter again. And immediately sprinted towards her mirror. She brushed her mane until there was not a single stray hair, applied rouge to her cheeks, and even put on the tiniest bit of black eyeliner. Happy with how she looked, she got up and trotted towards her cape and hat, but hesitated. She said she’d be coming in her costume, would only be fair for me to do the same, right? This made sense to her, but a part of her felt the desire to more fully show off her figure. That desire won. She left her magician clothes behind, and got her umbrella out from under her hammock. Good thing she did too, as it began pouring down the very second she opened her door. The candy shop loomed in the distance. Trixie cantered forwards, the rain falling hard against her umbrella, as she mentally prepared herself for conversation. Best to open with something quip-y, like “long time no see”, or “fancy meeting you here”. No, wait, I should open by asking why she wanted to see me. Or, maybe I should let her do the opening? Round and round she went until she finally came to face the alley way. Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward, slowly making her way towards the pitch black darkness at the end of the path. She stopped however when a figure began to come out from the darkness. It was her. Clad in a dark lavender body suit, with a lighter colored cape, hat, and boots, and her true identity hidden underneath a menacing mask, it was her. The Mysterious Mare Do-Well. Sweet Celestia, she’s so cool, Trixie thought as she attempted to say her greetings, that first opening line that would show off her immense wit and cool-headedness. “H-h-hi.” Or that would make her sound like Fluttershy. That works too. “I was worried you weren’t gonna come.” Her voice was a bit deep, and smooth as butter. It also sounded surprisingly clear given she was wearing a mask. “Y-you were?” “Yeah, thought I mighta come off a bit strong.” Trixie giggled. “You thought writing a letter was ‘coming off strong’?” “Well, writing a letter and sneaking into your wagon to put it on your… hammock, that’s a little bit creepy in retrospect, don’ja think?” “Hmm, well,” Trixie inched closer. “Maybe I like a little bit creepy,” she said, gazing at the costumed mare with lidded eyes and a small toothy smile. “Is that so?” said Mare-Do Well in a low, almost seductive voice. Trixie felt her cheeks become red once again. “I wanted to thank you, again… for saving me, I mean.” “Just doin’ my job. Though, I gotta ask, what made you think untying yourself from rope while you were 40 feet in the air, and with a magic inhibitor on your horn, was a good idea?” Trixie rubbed the back of her neck with an embarrassed grin. “Admittedly, not my most well thought out act.” Mare-Do Well stepped closer. “I was at your show today, ya know.” “You were?!” Trixie said excitedly, before catching herself and faking a cough. “I mean… you were?” “Mm-hmm. You’re one hell of a performer.” She stepped closer still. “And you’re one hell of a looker, too.” Though her face was now red as an apple, Trixie didn’t shyly turn her head away or get flustered. Instead, she began stepping closer herself. “I should say the same about you.” “You do know I’m wearin’ a mask, right?” Mare-Do Well said playfully. Despite this fact, Trixie could tell she was smiling. “Maybe you should take it off,” Trixie said with a smirk. “And then everything else off too,” she muttered. Mare-Do Well chuckled. “You’re pretty damn forward. And you’re damn pretty. I like that.” “Right on both counts,” Trixie replied with a devious smile and a flared horn, revealing Mare-Do Well’s stylish headwear to be in her possession, floating it next to her. The costumed mare’s eyes widened as she reached over head for confirmation. Trixie inspected the hat from multiple angles. “This is a pretty nice hat.” “Yeah, and I’m gonna need it back.” “Why don’t you come and get it?” Trixie asked in a low voice as she hid the hat behind her mane. Seeming to get the hint, Mare-Do Well stepped forward until there was barely any distance between the two. She brought a fore hoof up to Trixie’s chin, lifting up the unicorn’s head as she straightened her posture, making herself appear taller. The two gazed at each other with half-lidded eyes, their muzzles inches apart. Trixie reached forward to cup Mare-Do Well’s cheek, but was stopped. “Close your eyes.” Trixie felt like protesting, but the softness in the masked mare’s voice and the sensation of the unique situation changed her mind. She did as was asked of her, and placed her hoof on the mare’s cheek. She then lowered it down to her neck, and felt an open seam, which she slid her hoof under. As Trixie lifted the mask off, she could feel the mare’s coat. It felt fluffy, but well groomed. At last, the mask was gone. She couldn’t see her face, but she could at least touch it. Wasting no more time, Mare-Do Well closed the distance, and Trixie felt a pair of soft lips against her own. She lost track of time as the kiss deepened, as their mouths opened, and they played with their tongues. Trixie wrapped both her forelegs around Mare-Do Well’s neck, Mare-Do Well reciprocating by wrapping one around Trixie’s waist. All good things must come to end though, and their muzzles parted. Even as she felt the mystery mare’s taste leave her mouth, Trixie kept her eyes closed. When she could no longer feel the mare’s presence anywhere near her, she heard her voice. “You can open your eyes now.” She did just that, and saw that she was alone. She also realized the hat was no longer in her possession. On the ground where Mare-Do Well had stood moments ago, lay a single rose. Trixie’s heart fluttered. She picked up the rose and held it close to her chest, and looked up at the night sky. “Until we meet again.” Author's Note So this is something a little different. This is an idea that i just sorta had randomly while i was outside today, and i figured, "f@!# it, why not?" This was the first combination i got, and it was just such an interesting idea that i had to write it first. The next one after this is probably gonna be a funnier one. You can do this yourself if ya feel like it. Feel free to comment whatever wacky combinations you get, i might even add it to the list. Unless of you course, you decide to make your story.
Pinkie X Spitfire“Thank you and have a super-tastic evening!” Pinkie waved goodbye at the customer, and once they were gone, leaped over the counter to the door, and put up the ‘closed’ sign. Normally, she considered closing time the saddest time of the day, but she had plans tonight. Plans she wouldn’t miss for even a triple-layered chocolate cake with strawberry jam filling. She next bolted up stairs to her room, and inspected her closet. “What do you think I should wear, Gummy?” she asked, looking over a rack of 7 identical clown costumes. The Alligator said nothing. “You’re right, I should just go in my casual wear,” she said, grabbing a black tux and top hat out from the bottom of the closet. The Alligator said nothing. After putting on the fit, Pinkie checked herself out in the mirror. “Lookin’ Good, Pinkamena. Wish me luck, Gummy!” She kissed him on the forehead and ran for the door. The Alligator opened his mouth… and closed it. Standing outside, Pinkie reached for the pocket watch kept inside her jacket. ‘She’ would be arriving any moment. At that exact second, a ‘she’ did arrive, though not the one Pinkie was expecting. “Pinkie?” The pink pony in question turned her head to see a white unicorn trotting towards her with a puzzled expression. “Oh hey, Rarity! Whatcha doin’?” “I should ask you quite the same, Miss Pie. What’s with... all this?” she gestured to Pinkie’s ensemble. “Oh, you mean my tux? I always wear my tux to dates!” Rarity’s eyes widened in shock, but it was soon followed by a joyful smile. “You’re going on a date? Oh, Pinkie, darling, that’s simply marvellous! Who is it, do I know him?” Before Pinkie could correct her on that last part, a loud whooshing sound brought their attention to the skies, where they saw a yellow and blue blur spinning in a circle. The blur then fell downwards, and dramatically landed on the ground only a few feet in front of the two mares, revealing it to be none other than Spitfire, striking a pose on her landing. Getting up, Spitfire lifted her goggles and grinned at Pinkie. “Hey there, Pinks. I’m not late, am I?” “Nope! You’re just on time like always, Spitty!” Pinkie gleefully bounced over to the Wonderbolt and grabbed on to her shoulders. The mares immediately locked lips in a long, impassioned kiss. “Well, let’s stop wasting time,” Spitfire said once they parted lips. She swept Pinkie off her hooves, Pinkie giggling all the while, and took flight. Pinkie embraced her tightly, and nuzzled her neck as they flew off into the setting sun. Back down on the ground, Rarity stared on with wide eyes and a hanging jaw. “What?” Within 20 minutes, the pair had reached their destination: A pizza joint at the edge of town. Spitfire gently lowered Pinkie backed down and the two smiled at each other for a bit in front of the entrance. “You look really cute in that,” said Spitfire, earning a blush from Pinkie. “And you look hot as lava,” Pinkie countered with playful sultriness. The two entered the establishment and, as one would expect to happen when a Wonderbolt and a mare dressed in a fancy black suit and top hat both entered a fairly cheap pizzeria at the same time, everypony looked at them. The couple didn’t seem to notice though, not the stares, nor how wildly out of place they both looked. They simply cantered on until they found a table that was to their liking. A waiter came by, and was given their order of a pizza with 16 different toppings, including potato chips, apple slices, pickles, donuts, and more. Surprisingly, the restaurant did in fact offer all of those as toppings. While they waited for their “food”, the two of them started talking. “So how’re things going at the academy?” “Eh, can’t complain. For every first day dropout, there’s two future Wonderbolts to make up for it. Honestly, we’ve got so many promising candidates now, we might have to consider bumping up the number of slots. As for me, I’ve been trying out that whole “positive reinforcement” crap, and… I hate to admit but, it does seem to work. Sometimes. But, hey, that’s enough about me. What’s been goin’ on with you?” “Oh, it’s been pretty much the same, which is to say, super-duper! Sometimes fun stuff happens and the whole town gets in on it, and then me or one of my friends will learn a valuable lesson about friendship, or life, or economic inflation!” “Economic inflation?” “Long story. But, yeah, nothin’ new to report from Ponyville.” Spitfire chuckled. “Still sounds more exciting than my day-to-day. I mean, being a Wonderbolt-“ “Captain of the Wonderbolts,” Pinkie corrected with a smile. “Heh, right. Yeah, it’s pretty great and all, and my team’s the best, really, they’re all just about the best friends a pony could ask for, but-“ Spitfire paused, and smacked her forehead. “Ugh, there I go, making it about me again.” “It’s fine, Spitty! I love hearing you talk about your work.” “And I love hearing you talk about your life! I shouldn’t be making tonight just about me.” Pinkie leaned over and put a forehoof over Spitfire’s, smiling warmly. “C’mon, sweetie, I don’t mind. And it sounds like you have some stuff on your mind, so I want to hear it.” The two smiled lovingly at each other for several seconds before being snapped back to reality by the waiter. “Here you go!” The 16 topping abomination was placed on to their table. Spitfire stared at the so-called “pizza” with wide eyes, it was quite a bit bigger than she was expecting. “Man, I’m not sure how much of this I could even get in.” “More for me, then!” Pinkie beamed. Half an hour later, the couple exited the pizzeria, laughing and stumbling about as Spitfire draped a wing over Pinkie. They weren’t drunk, they were just stumbling because stumbling is fun. Pinkie nuzzled Spitfire’s neck and nestled into her embrace as they trotted back to Sugarcube Corner. As they made their way through town, though, Pinkie couldn’t help but frown as she remembered something. “So… what were you gonna say earlier?” “Hmm?” “You were talking about being a Wonderbolt is great and how your team is the best, but there was a ‘but’. What’s the ‘but’?” Spitfire sighed. “All that stuff is true. It’s just that, well…” Pinkie nudged her on, putting her head under Spitfire’s chin. “Yeah?” “I guess… I’m just getting kinda, bored with it all. I’ve been doing this for 12 years, and it’s been awesome, but… maybe it’s also been enough. Maybe it’s time I hang up the mantle, let someone else take over.” “You… wanna quit the Wonderbolts?” Pinkie looked shocked. “Maybe.” The two stayed in silence for a moment, before Pinkie spoke up. “Well! It’s your decision, Spitty. Whatever you decide to do, I’m sure it’ll be the right choice.” “You’re not gonna try and talk me out of it?” Pinkie pecked her on the cheek. “Like I said, it’s your decision. And whether you leave the Wonderbolts tomorrow, or stay with them for another 12 years, I’ll support you.” Spitfire sighed again, but with a smile this time. “Thanks, Pinks. Say, you wanna ride home? It’s getting pretty late, and it’s gonna take a while to get back to your place on hoof.” “Ookie-Dokie!” “Great, cuz the quicker we get there, the quicker we can-“ Spitfire leaned into Pinkie’s ear and whispered something that elicited a strong blush from the pink pony. 1 hour later, both ponies were laying on Pinkie’s bed, panting with frazzled manes, and embracing each other. “That was awesome,” Spitfire said in a strained voice. Pinkie giggled in agreement, and starting rubbing circles in Spitfire’s chest. “So, you staying over for the night?” “Yeah, I think I can do that.” “Great, because I really like falling asleep while spooning. Which reminds me, can I be big spoon tonight?” “Sure thing, babe.” The mares shared a last good night kiss before getting into position, and drifting off to sleep. Gummy, who had slept through the entire thing, woke up and pitter-pattered towards the open window, staring into the night sky. He still didn’t say anything. Author's Note My chosen name for this ship would be "PinkFire" but knowing this community, if this ever actually were a popular ship it'd be probably be called something stupid like "SpitPie". Like seriously guys, FlutterPie was right there, and you went with PinkieShy? That's just silly.
Celestia X MaudCONTENT WARNING: HEAVY SUGGESTIVE/SENSUAL ELEMENTS Maud Pie gazed out at the ocean, the water rippling and the waves crashing in a hypnotic rhythm. The mineral particles beneath her hooves, often referred to as “sand”, gave her a unique feeling of freedom whenever she touched it. A strong white light shined above her, and when she looked into it, she saw the silhouette of a tall pony with wings and a horn. It was her. “I knew you’d come.” Celestia floated down to the earth with more grace and elegance than any other living creature could hope to achieve. Even when the light had subsided, her indescribable beauty was blinding in of itself. She smiled warmly at Maud, and slowly trotted towards her. The Alicorn’s tall, strong legs gave her every step a sense of purpose. She loomed over the Earth Pony, her might, power, and radiance enough to overpower any ordinary equine. Maud was no ordinary equine, though. Her resolve remained unchanged, and she continued to stare deeply into the Princess’s eyes. Acting boldly, she lifted a fore hoof, and stroked Celestia’s chest. Celestia responded in kind by cupping Maud’s cheek, raising the smaller mare’s head, while she lowered her own. There was no need for words, they both closed their eyes, and leaned their muzzles forwards, and in a single, time-stopping moment, their lips made contact. Celestia’s lips tasted of the sweetest exotic fruit, it was a sensation that mere words couldn’t do justice. The kiss began slow, but as passions ignited, it grew in fury. Maud opened her mouth, giving the Alicorn’s tongue full access. She welcomed it with her own tongue. Their lips parted, but their mouths remained open as their tongues danced, wildly licking and flicking. Moans of pleasure escaped their throats, and this was just the beginning. Slowly, Celestia unbuckled the belt holding Maud’s sweater tight. She slid her hooves underneath Maud’s skirt and- “-And that’s what I’ve written so far. I wanted to get some feedback on the foreplay before I started on the actual intercourse part. So, what did you think.” Starlight looked at Maud, then back at the paper, then back at Maud again. Her expression was completely flat as always. Not really knowing how to process what she just read, Starlight said the first thing that came to her mind. “You’re writing erotica about yourself and Princess Celestia?” “Yes.” “Ok, but… why?” “I find her exceedingly attractive and have had several fantasies about her. Sexual fantasies, to be specific.” “Yeah, no, I got that. So, you decided to write a story based on these fantasies-“ “Yes.” “-And you’re asking me for constructive criticism for your self-indulging erotic literature involving another real pony?” “Yes.” Starlight furrowed her brow in contemplation for a few moments, before settling on her answer. “It was kinda hot.” “Yes, beaches tend to get very warm in the summer.” Author's Note Because sometimes you get a combination that is just so conceptually funny you have to make at least something out of it. I hope this isn't considered too spicy for the T rating. P.S this chapter and the one before it were supposed to have come out several hours ago, but wouldn't ya know it, power outage.
Applejack X ApplejackStirring awake, Applejack found herself in what was decidedly not her bedroom at her family’s house in Sweet Apple Acres. Thankfully, it did seem to be a bedroom of some kind, as she was currently lying on a bed. After a few moments of groggy scanning, she deduced that her current location was one of the many, many spare bedrooms in Twilight’s castle. Honestly, Twilight could probably run a hotel business out of the castle with how many rooms it had. “What happened last night,” Applejack wondered out loud as she rubbed her eyes. It was when she opened them again that she came to the realization she was not the only one in bed. Only a few inches away, another pony was fast asleep with their back turned to Applejack. They had an orange coat, a long blond mane, and seemed to be a mare. Applejack stared dumbly for several seconds, but once her mind finished processing all the available information, her eyes widened in horror. “There’s no way…” The mare began to stir, and finally she awoke in much the same fashion Applejack did. She looked around the room for a bit until her eyes landed on… herself. The two Applejacks gazed at each other in silence with wide eyes and blank expressions for what seemed like an infinity. Finally, one of them spoke. “Oh my god.” 2 weeks earlier, in another dimension… “So, let me get this straight,” said Rainbow Dash. “You want to go to Equestria to have your 20th birthday party there?” “Yes,” Sunset nodded. “And you want all of us to come to Equestria with you,” Rarity continued, gesturing to the five other girls at the table. “That’s right,” Sunset nodded again. There were a few seconds of silence. “So just to be clear, you want us all to celebrate your birthday as horses?” Sunset frowned. “Ponies, and yes, I would like that very much.” “Ponies, horses,” Rainbow did an up and down gesture with her hands. “What’s the difference?” “Well, actually, I’ve done a bit of research on Equestrian life forms before, and there is quite a distinction between the Pony creatures of that universe and the horses of this one,” Twilight said, straightening her glasses. “For instance, the-“ She stopped mid-sentence when she noticed the unamused look on Rainbow’s face, and blushed. “Sorry. Not the point, I know.” Sunset put her hand on Twilight’s shoulder and smiled warmly. “It’s fine, babe. Now,” she turn her attention back to the group, “Party in Equestria, what do you all think?” The girls exchanged looks and quietly contemplated, until Applejack broke the silence. “Well shoot, I don’t got a problem with it.” “Yeah!” Pinkie agreed loudly. “Parties are fun, turning into a magical horse is fun, so a party where we all turn into magical horses will be like, quadruple fun!!” “I suppose it would be a…unique experience,” said Rarity, rubbing her chin. “And if memory serves, that castle that Princess Twilight lives in is simply divine!” “Yeah, if you’re looking at it from the inside,” Sunset muttered. “Oh I would absolutely love to go back to Equestria,” Fluttershy practically squealed. “It was so pretty, and we all looked so cute as ponies, with our big eyes and little hooves and colorful manes and coats, I think having your birthday there would be wonderful, Sunset!” “Eh, sounds like fun,” Rainbow said with a shrug. Sunset smiled brightly. “So, we’re all in agreement then?” “Totally.” “Certainly.” “Absolutely!” “Heck yeah!” “You betcha.” And back to right now… “Alright, so,” Applejack began, rubbing her forehead. “Y’all came here to have Sunset Shimmer’s birthday party in Twi’s castle-“ “That’s right,” Applejack confirmed. “And we, as in, the other versions of y’all, came to the party too…” “Eeyup.” Everything was coming back to her. The party went on well into the night, and there was quite a lot of cider present. Hard cider. “So, you and me got drunk, found this room, and did…this,” said Applejack. “That sounds about right,” Applejack agreed. “Just, uh… one issue with that. I didn’t drink any alcohol last night.” Applejack looked confused, before another realization struck her. “Neither did I.” Applejack A and Applejack 1 simply sat there, disturbed looks plastered on both their faces, their heads turned away from each other. “So… we did this…voluntarily.” “Eeyup.” “….” “….” “We can never speak of this to anyone.” “Agreed.” Minutes passed as they continued sitting there in the mother of all awkward silences, until a thought broke its way into Applejack’s head. It was a thought she tried to kick away, but eventually she decided, f@#! It. “Wanna do it again?” Author's Note I swear this will be the only Cloneship story i do in this fic. Probably.
Twilight X Daring DoTwilight struggled against the bindings. The lava underneath her boiled and sizzled, and lit the chamber in a menacing orange glow. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, Geldingo,” she exclaimed with furfur. “I’m an Equestrian princess, if words gets out that you kidnapped me, you could face jail time of up to 3 lifetimes!” The dark brown stallion simply laughed as he wiped dirt of his lab coat. “Then I’ll just have to make sure nopony ever finds out about this. I believe the best way to do that, is to kill you, and Daring Do as well!” “You don’t have to do this, you’re a brilliant scientist, you can use your intellect for the good of equinity, not just for stealing ancient artifacts!” Twilight pleaded, desperation clear in her voice. “I suppose so, but where’s the fun in that!” Geldingo pranced towards a control panel. “Once I activate my Mega-Drill, the tomb of Epona will be opened for the first time in seven thousand years, and all of its riches will be mine for the taking!” He turned his attention to an impractically big lever. “Now, my dear princess, I’m afraid it’s time for you to meet your maker!” He laughed maniacally, and pulled the lever. The lava began to steadily rise up, inching closer to Twilight’s bound form. She could feel the approaching heat on her back hooves, and tried struggling with the rope again. “Au revoir!” exclaimed the mad scientist as he cantered towards the exit. “Not so fast, Geldingo!” Both ponies turned their heads to the direction of the voice, Twilight smiling giddily while Geldingo groaned. Standing on the above catwalk, Daring Do stood triumphantly, glaring down at Geldingo. “Ah, Daring Do, I was wondering when you were going to show up. Unfortunately, I have places to be right now, so I’m afraid I’ll simply have to kill you later.” Daring responded by grabbing a loose wire from the ceiling, swinging forwards, and landing with a back-flip. “You’re not going anywhere, I’m stopping you, and shutting down your drill.” Geldingo smirked evilly, and pointed at Twilight. “You sure you don’t want to help out your friend first?” Daring turned around to see the tied-up Alicorn staring down with fear at the slowly rising molten, and she got into position for take-off, only to hear the sound of a door closing behind her. She looked back to see that Geldingo had indeed escaped. She would just have to deal with that later. She launched towards Twilight, and landed right next to her, hanging on the wall she was bound to. “He injected me with something that made my wings stop working,” Twilight explained. “I won’t be able to fly out of here.” “Then I’ll just have to carry you,” Daring said confidently, before snapping the rope loose with a single bite, and scooping up Twilight in her forelegs. The Alicorn gazed in awe at the Pegasus, and hung on tightly as they flew back to solid, lava-less ground. When they landed and Daring gently let her back on her hooves and asked her if she was alright, Twilight continued staring in amazement at the adventurous mare, and felt an overwhelming rush of feelings she didn’t know were there. “We can’t stay here for long, do you think you could make it the rest of the way on hoof-“ Daring was interrupted by a pair of lavender lips suddenly being pressed against her own. Twilight was kissing her. When Twilight pulled her head back, her eyes widened in realization of what she had just done, and both mares blushed furiously. “We, uh… we should probably talk about… this, after we stop Geldingo,” Daring said with an awkward chuckle. “Y-yeah”, Twilight agreed, brushing her mane and looking at the floor with an embarrassed grin. “Damn you, Daring Do!!!” The scientist’s curses echoed through the caverns as he laid there, trapped under the remains of what was once the Mega-Drill. “And don’t forget about Twilight Sparkle! That’s me!” Twilight shouted back. “Yes, yes, damn you as well.” Daring and Twilight shared a laugh as they trotted away from the cave entrance. “So, what’s gonna happen to him?” “The city officials should be here within a few hours to take him in,” explained Daring, with a smirk. “I get the feeling it’ll be a pretty short trial.” Twilight giggled. “Yeah. I guess that wraps up another exciting Daring Do adventure, huh?” “Well, almost.” In a single swift motion, Daring turned to face Twilight, and leaned in to plant a kiss of her own. When they parted, a red-faced Twilight smiled brightly, while Daring grinned with half-lidded eyes. “So, I guess now’s the part where we talk about what this means and-“ she was shushed with a hoof on her lips. “We can talk later,” said Twilight, a saucy look on her face. Daring seemed to agree. The two wrapped their forelegs around each other, and went in for another kiss, this time a much longer, passionate one. I wonder if now I can get my books categorized under romance, Daring thought to herself. Author's Note Ya know, i might just have to expand this one into a full fledged story some time. I have always wanted to write an adventure story. I was considering having the ending to this reveal it to be fanfiction written by Twilight, but i figured pulling that joke two chapters in a row would be kinda lame.
Chrysalis X Golden HarvestChrysalis (or Crackle Cosette, as she went by in this form) internally fumed as she walked into the Ponyville market place. I’m by far the smartest, most ruthless, and most fit to be a leader out of us three, and what do they have me do? Use my shape-shifting powers to… go shopping. What a sick joke. Despite her unhappiness with her current role in the “Triad of Evil” as Cozy Glow called it, Chrysalis couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia from it. She thought back to the olden days, when her hive was just her and a small handful of grubs, and many times she alone would have to venture into the wilderness to scavenge for food. She remembered her first few children fondly. They had all passed on of old age by this point, they had never betrayed her and sided with the enemy. The enemy who, at this very moment, she was being tasked with purchasing food from. Grumbling, Crackle Cosette trotted towards the first stand that caught her eye. It was a carrot stand. Don’t think I’ve eaten a carrot before, come to think of it. The mare running the stand, a rather pretty mare with a curly orange mane and a yellowish white coat, smiled brightly when she saw her approaching. “Hi! Are you new in town?” “Yes. I’m… visiting from Canterlot for the week,” Crackle replied, with a smile that definitely seemed real. “Oh, really? I’ve always wanted to go to Canterlot myself,” said the mare at the stand with a smile of her own. Chrysalis cursed herself internally, now this mare would start talking her ear off, asking her all about Canterlot and- “So, how many carrots would you like?” Crackle blinked. It seemed this pony wasn’t as annoyingly chatty as the others she had met (and in a few cases, been forced to live with). “…six. Yeah, six carrots. Please.” “Coming right up,” the mare exclaimed, beaming. She disappeared underneath the stand for a few seconds, before coming back up with six carrots held in her forelegs. Crackle levitated her small brown bag towards her, and she deposited the vegetables inside. “That’ll be 2 bits, please.” “Right,” Crackle said as she pulled a small sack of bits from behind her, and floated the specified amount towards the stand. The mare continued to smile at her. “It was nice to meet you, miss…” “Crackle Cosette.” “Golden Harvest,” the mare said, properly introducing herself. “Hope to see you again, tomorrow!” “Sure thing,” Crackle nodded at Golden Harvest, and turned around to see what else the market had to offer. It was then she realized she still had a smile on her face, but it wasn’t one she had put on as part of her act, nor was it the smile of a devious mastermind like herself. It was a genuine happy smile. That’s weird. Later, in the cave of evil… “Ha! Poker!” Tirek groaned. “You don’t yell ‘Poker’ when you win at Poker.” “Maybe you don’t,” said Cozy glow as she horded the bits towards herself. “Besides, what would you know? This game was invented while you were still in Tartarus.” Before the Minotaur could offer a retort, a bag full of assorted food items was dropped unto the table. “I’m back with the food,” said a visibly disgruntled Chrysalis. The other two villains quickly went to inspect the contents of the bag, Tirek grinning as he pulled out a large red chili. Considering her work done, Chrysalis headed towards her personal chambers, but was stopped in her tracks by a small Pegasus suddenly appearing right in her face. “Aren’t you gonna eat something?” Cozy asked with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not hungry,” Chrysalis replied, swatting her away. “You look like you could use a good meal,” Cozy countered, flying in front of her again. “You’re getting’ kinda skinny.” “My figure is just fine, thank you very much,” Chrysalis responded with a huff, and swatted her away again. “You have holes in your legs,” added Tirek. “I’d hardly call that ‘just fine’.” Chrysalis, in response, shape-shifted into a monkey and flipped him off. Tirek simply snickered. She turned her attention back to Cozy. “What do you care, anyway? Last I checked, we were all supposed to only tolerate each other at best.” “I-I don’t- it’s… Look will you just F@#!ing eat something already?” Cozy snapped before flying away. Chrysalis blinked, and then turned to Tirek. “What’s with her?” “Don’t know, don’t care.” She groaned, and walked towards the table. She inspected the various fruits, vegetables, and singular loaf of bread she had spent the last half-hour acquiring. Her eyes landed on the carrots. Eh, why not. She took hold of one carrot, looked it over from all angles, and inched the top part towards her open mouth. “Wrong side,” said Tirek. Chrysalis rolled her eyes, and rotated the carrot so the pointy bit faced her maw. Finally, she took a bite. Her eyes widened. …This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted. She began greedily munching down on the vegetable, until all that remained was the green lettuce-like thing on the top. She grabbed the five remaining carrots, and scurried off to her chambers. Tirek simply sat there, chomping down on his chili, and wondering how long it would take for Chrysalis to realize she was still a monkey. The Next Day… Crackle cantered around the market place, trying to remember where the carrot stand was. Why didn’t I ever make a map of this town like I did for Celestia’s castle? Growing desperate, she turned to a stallion who happened to be waking by and put on her best ‘lost tourist’ voice. “Excuse me, can you point me in the direction of the… carrot stand?” “Oh, sure,” the stallion said happily, and pointed a hoof to a location behind Crackle. “It’s right over there!” She looked to where he was pointing, and low and behold, there was Golden Harvest, smiling as she waved off her most recent customer. Yes! There she is! …I mean, it is. The carrot stand. Where the carrots are. The carrots that I came here to buy. That carrot stand. Crackle trotted forwards, and was quickly noticed by Golden Harvest. “Oh, hello again! Come to buy more carrots?” She nodded. “Yes, I had never actually eaten a carrot before yesterday. I’ve grown a bit of a taste for them.” Golden Harvest’s eye twitched. “Ne-never, eaten a… carrot… before,” she said in a shaky voice. Oh dear. I probably shouldn’t have said that… now she’ll berate me with questions about how I could have gone all my life without- “Well, I guess… that happens sometimes,” Golden Harvest said, looking a bit nervous. “So… how many for today?” Oh. Right. I almost forgot how to the point this mare was. Crackle asked for six carrots just as she did yesterday. Golden Harvest cheerfully waved goodbye to her when she left, and this time, she waved goodbye back. For the next week, things continued on like this. Crackle would come to Golden Harvest’s carrot stand and ask for six carrots. Their interactions were always brief, but with each day, both learned something new about each other. For instance, Crackle learned that Goldie (that’s what she said her friends called her) ran a carrot farm that often competed against Sweet Apple Acres, an apple farm ran in part by none other than one of Twilight Sparkle’s friends, Applejack. In turn, Goldie learned that Crackle had dated Shining Armour at one point. It’s technically true, from a certain perspective. Chrysalis wouldn’t admit it to anyone, not even herself, but her visits to Goldie’s carrot stand had become the highlight of her day over the course of that week. Not that she would need to admit anything, as far as her two associates were aware, she had just developed a somewhat unhealthy obsession with carrots. There was one minor problem she had realized though. When I first went there, I told her I was visiting Ponyville for a week. She might not suspect anything on an eight day, or even a ninth, but beyond that... Oh, stop worrying yourself. She probably doesn’t even remember what I said, and if she does, I could easily think up a new lie. Improv has always been a talent of mine. Lie… for some reason, that word made her wince. More specifically, the idea of lying to Goldie. She had no idea why, she had more or less been lying to her this entire time. That thought didn’t make her feel better. Sitting alone on her chair, Chrysalis chowed down thoughtlessly on a carrot, contemplating her strange new feelings about the concept of deceit. In no time at all, the carrot was completely devoured, and Chrysalis reached down to the table mindlessly, only to realize she had already eaten all six of them. “Ate all of the carrots again?” Cozy said from behind, causing Chrysalis to jump out of her seat with a shriek. When she came to her senses, she glared at the small Pegasus, who smiled cockily at her. “Ya know, the way you’ve been going about this carrot thing is kinda weird." Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” “Listen,” Cozy started as she flew down and landed on the table. “I don’t know where this carrot addiction of yours suddenly came from. What I do know, is that you’ve been buying six carrots every day and then eating them all at once.” “Just get to the point,” Chrysalis growled. “What I’m saying is, why eat them all in one sitting? And if you really need six of them a day, why not just buy a whole bunch of them all at once instead of going back to Ponyville every single day. Heck, you could probably just buy like 30 and have a six-pack for each day of the week… Just like Tirek!” “….” “Get it? Cause he has a six-pack-“ “Yeah, I get it.” Staring off into space, Chrysalis thought over the filly’s words. Why had she been going back there for the whole week? And surely she could survive not eating six carrots a day. Why hadn’t she been saving them? Every question she had inevitably seemed to lead to the same answer. Goldie. Now matter how much she tried to deny it to herself, the former queen could think of nothing else. She wasn’t heading to Ponyville every day for carrots, she was doing to see Golden Harvest. It didn’t help that every time she thought of the carrot farmer, she felt a little light headed, and a tiny bit warm in the chest. Surely I can’t have grown to actually… like a pony, right? But the more she thought of Goldie, the less ‘like’ seemed like an adequate descriptor. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about her pretty mane, or her lovely voice, or how friendly yet to the point she was, or her gorgeous eyes- “Chrysalis?” Cozy’s voice startled her out of her own mind, and she furrowed her brow. “I… have to go to my chambers.” She bolted out of the room, leaving behind a thoroughly confused Cozy Glow. The Day After That…. Golden Harvest sat patiently at her carrot stand. She had been a little distracted all day, mainly because she was waiting for a very specific pony to show up, one who she wasn’t sure actually would be arriving today. It had been eight days since Crackle Cosette had first come by her little stand, and on that day, the unicorn had said she was visiting Ponyville for a week. She didn’t say anything about going back home yesterday… I even told her “see you tomorrow” and she nodded. Still, it was very much possible Crackle had gone back home without a goodbye. The thought made Golden Harvest droop a bit. She really thought they had something nice going. Her fears were put to rest however when she a bright green unicorn mare with an orange-y red mane trotting towards her. “Hey there,” she exclaimed happily. “I almost thought you weren’t gonna be here today.” “Well,” Crackle began with a pleased smile, “There’s been a change in plans, shall we say, and it looks I’m gonna be in Ponyville for another week.” Golden Harvest resisted the urge to jump for joy. “That’s great,” she said, calmly. “So, the usual?” “You bet. Although, I also wanted to ask you something.” Huh. This is different. “What is it?” Crackle stepped closer, and brushed a few loose strands of her off her face. “Would you like to go out sometime?” Author's Note Carrot doesn't feel like a word to me anymore.
Rainbow Dash X 3 RaritysYa know, if you told me like, a year ago that in the not-too-distant future, I’d have not one, not two, but three girlfriends, I’d have been like “holy s@#!, awesome!” If you then told me that all three of them would be the same person, I’d have been like “wait, what?” And if you then told me that person was Rarity, I’d have asked if you were high, and then asked if I could have a hit. But apparently, you weren’t high, because at this moment, I’m relaxing on the couch watching some crime drama on the tv, with Rarity snuggled up to my right. And my left. And also lying down on my lap. Just so we’re perfectly clear, I am NOT AT ALL complaining. But still, like, how did this happen? Well, the first Rarity’s easy enough to explain. She’s the Rarity I’ve known for years, the one that’s been part of our friend group for as long as we’ve had it. I’ve always thought she was pretty hot, even before I knew I liked girls, but it wasn’t until like six months ago that I started thinkin’ about her that way, and decided “screw it, I’m gonna ask her out!” So I did, and turned out, she liked me like that too, and that’s how we became girlfriends. The second Rarity is where things get weird. So, basically, in that pony world where Twilight (the one without the glasses) and Sunset came from, there’s like this river or pond or whatever that can make clones of you or something, and I guess that world’s Rarity fell into it or something, I dunno, I was kinda tired when they were explaining it. Anyway, Rarity Numero Dos is like, a clone of Pony Rarity, and she didn’t want to go back to not-existing, so she ran away and accidentally came to this world through that quicksand portal we found during summer break. She was on that island for like a week until a navy crew found her and brought her to our hometown. Rarity (as in, the Rarity from this world) convinced Pony Twilight to not take her back to Pony world, and let her stay here. You shoulda seen her, she got all up in her face, and used a bunch a big words, it was sexy as hell. So yeah, clone Rarity started living with human Rarity, and, well, one thing lead to another, and we included her in the relationship. I don’t think I can get into details of how that happened, but let’s just say it involved a lack of clothes. Now, Rarity number 3. Honestly? I don’t even know what her deal is. She just kinda showed up one day with no explanation, but we all agreed there’s probably nothing evil or fishy about her, and then it happened again, and now, I’m dating three Raritys. And in case you’re wondering, yeah, they’re all dating each other too. And I wasn’t such an open-minded, progressive individual, I may think that that’s weird. But ya know what they say, “el amor es el amor”(that’s french, btw). Anyhoo, back to the present, the show we were watching just ended, and Rarity Number 2 just fell asleep on my legs. “Oh my, do you think we should wake her?” “Nah, I’ll just carry her upstairs.” Rarity 1 and 3 start giggling. Then Rarity 1 goes all bedroom eyes on me. “Think you could carry me, too?” And Rarity 3 joins in. “And how about me?” So yeah, my life is pretty awesome right now. Author's Note This came as a result of the wheel somehow giving me Rarity three times in a row. And yes, i did use the shuffle button. As for why this is written in first person and is also in the Egq verse this time, i dunno, i just felt like it.
