Like the Consistency of Pudding

by BlackM

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2162

And Pinkie said to her, mind clouded with pleasure: "Are all clopfics like this?!"

Two ponies intertwined in the bed sheets of love is a sight to see. One, the studious unicorn protegee of Princess Celestia, and the other, the notorious party pony of Ponyville, share an afternoon in the library in a solace kept to themselves. Manes are ruffled, coats are soaked, and hearts are bound tightly in the embrace of love and pleasure. With her seemingly endless reservoir of energy and lust, Twilight Sparkle carefully leans down towards Pinkie Pie's ear and speaks to her, in a lush and delicate tone, "What the clopfic is this?!"

Published 2012-10-08 08:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-08 08:00:01 UTC

Prologue - The First Lick

Like the Consistency of Pudding

Prologue - The First Lick

It was a normal day in Ponyville. The sun was shining bright, the air was cool, the stock market was up thirteen percent, and the birds were singing. The only pony who would want to spend such a day indoors would be none other than Twilight Sparkle. Sure, she could go outside, but she didn’t have the time or purpose to go outside, not when she had so much to do inside. Whether or not she makes such tight schedules on purpose is known only to her.

Most ponies would wonder why she didn’t bother taking a break. And one of those ponies were none other than Pinkie Pie. At the moment, Twilight isn’t expecting her, not that anypony could, but she was focused studying whatever magic the unicorn usually studies. Sometimes the unicorn studied for no reason, which gave her little dragon assistant Spike some much needed time off. Speaking of the dragon, he was conveniently out of the library out to help Rarity or something, and would be gone for a good few hours. As such, no pony was available to answer the door right away.

After the first few or so knocks, Twilight moved her attention to the door to open it with her magic. In bounced the happy pony Pinkie Pie, with her poofy mane plush and her face beaming as bright as the sun outside. Despite being interrupted, Twilight couldn’t help but feel filled with joy around her. Perhaps it was how infectious her happiness was, or she permeated endorphins to relax any mood. Twilight figured it was the latter because right now she looked very sweet and satisfying; maybe it was the socks she was wearing.

“Hiya Twilight,” the pony said with restrained happiness, “I just thought I’d come by and show you these stockings I got from the store.”

“Oooh,” the unicorn returned, “How risqué of you to trot all the way over here through public,” she then pointed at her own hooves, “I also happen to be wearing a set of stockings.”

Pinkie couldn’t help but giggle at how cute she looked in her purple and pink socks, “What a coincidence that you and I happen to be wearing some at the same time.”

The magical pony grinned, “I always study in a comfortable set of stockings when it gets cold.”

Even though it was noon and a good ninety something degrees outside, Pinkie nodded in agreement, “Well, you sure are warm looking. The colors just come off of you nicely.”

Twilight giggled in return, “Same to you, but in my opinion…” her voice turned low and sultry, “I think I’d like them better with you taking them off.”

The pink pony chuckled seductively, then closed in on the unicorn’s nuzzle, “In that case, maybe I’d like them better on your bedroom floor.”

“Is that an invitation?” Twilight asked, mimicking Pinkie’s tone.

“For a party under your sheets? You bet’cha,” she finished with a wink, and the two were on their way to the second floor of the library, ignoring the wide open front door.

On the way up, Pinkie teased by shaking her rump rhythmically with each step, enticing Twilight as she followed. Like a hypnotized pony, the unicorn eyed each flank as she flawlessly climbed the stairs. It was getting increasingly difficult to restrain herself from throwing her body at the pink pony, which would probably result in an injury but she wasn’t thinking right now.

The two made it to the top of the stairs without hurting one another, and the only obstacle left was the path leading to Twilight’s bedroom. Like a sheep herder, Pinkie guided Twilight by flicking her tail at the unicorn’s chin. Each flick gave Twilight a taste of Pinkie’s scent, which was very sugary like that of cake frosting and flour. It didn’t cross Twilight’s mind how it was possible that the pink pony literally embodied the smell of sweets, but it was one of those things about her that would never be discovered, at least until they reached the bedroom. By then, she’d have discovered a lot more of the pony’s physical features, and they’d be sweet discoveries.

They made it to the dimly lit room and immediately leapt onto the bed, a faint crack sounding off from the increased weight. Twilight stood over Pinkie Pie, her eyes dazzling like sapphires, as she looked back with a restrained smile. The unicorn traced a hoof over the pony’s chest, feeling her coat even though she was wearing stockings. Pinkie giggled and poked at her horn, which caused Twilight to react in pleasure.

“So, it’s just you, me, and the open door leading to the hallway,” Twilight said lustfully, “What’s your first order of business?”

Pinkie giggled, slowly losing her grip on her excitement, “That depends, how do you like your cupcakes? Extra sprinkles, or smothered in frosting?”

She punctuated with a wink, sending sparks flying all throughout Twilight’s body. She enthralled her, excited her beyond what she could comprehend. How it was that such a pony like her, the very opposite of her existence and therefore her soulmate, could ever bring out the best of the unicorn was beyond them. And to think, this entire situation was born out of their desire to truly be with one another. It was sure to be magical.

Slowly and sullenly, Twilight knelt down to her ear and whispered, “What the heck is this?!”

Surprised by the sudden shouting, both ponies split from one another. Twilight looked as if she had just survived a heart attack while Pinkie Pie looked as if she was watching two pies doing it.

“Wait, what?!” Pinkie shouted, “What do you take me for? Some sort of food fetish freak?”

Twilight shook her head, trying to remember just what she was doing before, “How did we get here? I was studying one second and then…”

“Something with scissors?” Pinkie answered.

Twilight repulsed, yet seemed to be rather fond of the idea. Interested in the idea, she said to Pinkie, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

She nodded, “Somepony is talking to us in our heads, and saying these really creepy things about us.”

The unicorn looked at her stockings and began to take them off slowly and sweetly, “…take off the socks, now!”

Both did as instructed, and now the two of them were bare and naked in the same bed, “Hey! We’re always naked! And talk about redundant!”

“Why is this happening?” Twilight said as she leapt off the bed, “Who is talking to us? And why do they want us to…”

“Intercourse?” Pinkie said with a sly look.

“Yeah, that,” Twilight said as she slowly returned to the bed, “Which I’m not gonna do and I’m instead going back to the library foyer.”

“Yeah, nopony tells me what to do,” Pinkie said as she leapt off the bed as well and left the room, “…except that.”

Twilight made it to the bottom of the staircase and sensually reached for a special book while Pinkie watched, “The things we’re hearing is just like the narration of a book; third person narrative to be precise.”

“Oh, is that what it’s called?” Pinkie asked, reaching the foot of the staircase with her rump lusciously raised in the air, “I hear this kind of stuff all the time.”

Twilight turned to the pink pony, noting her curvy physical features, “Wait, you do? And you think it’s normal?”

Pinkie Pie shrugged her shoulders, betraying her restraint, “I never had a problem with it until now. This is the first time it’s ever happened before.”

“I…see,” Twilight said as she went back to reviewing the naughty notes in her book, “So, we appear to be stuck in some sort of novelization of our lives. But why is it trying to get us to make out?”

“Maybe it’s one of those tickle stories,” the pink pony suggested, carefully approaching the unicorn to ambush her.

“Tickle stories?” Twilight repeated.

“You know, the one’s where ponies get all lovey dovey together. Rarity has a whole stash in her closet,” Pinkie explained as she sat her lovely haunches to the floor.

“You mean like a romance novel?” the unicorn asked, “But why use such a risqué theme as sex? If this really is a mature work of fiction we’re in, then it’s not a very good one.”

“Wait, how do you know what makes tickle stories good?” Pinkie asked, giving the unicorn a sexy gaze.

“Okay, that’s getting a bit annoying,” Twilight said, fighting the sensations within her, “Well, to answer your question Pinkie, it’s all about pacing and characterization.”

“Uh huh,” the pink pony said, her body positioned close to the coy unicorn.

“And like any work of fiction, the key elements must be maintained,” Twilight said flirtatiously to the pink pony, “For instance, that.”

Pinkie Pie looked around her, wondering what it was the unicorn was talking about.

“What’s that?” the pink pony asked, hiding her voracious tone as best as she could.

“That. The descriptions and characterization in this piece are terrible,” Twilight said with a slight shiver, whether from fear or excitement she could not tell, “And not to mention painful to sit through.”

“Ohhh, I get it,” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, becoming increasingly restless, “Those things that are being said are not like us at all, and out of character and stuff.”

“Yeah. And it’s probably why we were able to snap out of it before we got any further,” Twilight said, thinking back to the bed they desperately wanted to share, “You know, just because you keep saying that stuff doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”

“Twilight, I think that’s the problem,” Pinkie Pie said worriedly, “We must be stuck in this tickle story, like a hole in the ground. How are we going to get out?”

Twilight placed a hoof to her chin, “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never read a mature fic before.”

Pinkie took a moment to stare at the unicorn, “Really? Twilight, the others and I thought you’d be the one to read that stuff all the time.”

The unicorn, looking as if offended, shot back, “What?! What makes you say that?”

The pony shrugged, “Probably because you stay indoors all the time. I mean, come on. You keep to yourself, you don’t hang out with guys, we all thought you’d have your own stash somewhere in the library.”

Twilight growled, “I don’t read that stuff. I spend my reading time on more productive things like chemistry and magic.”

Pinkie giggled, “Yeah, not like you’d ever need to know how to please a stallion, or a mare even.”

“Hey!” she shouted, and Pinkie became a laughing fit.

Pinkie laughed on the floor for a while before calming down, “But really though. If you don’t know how these kinds of stories go, how are we going to get out?”

The unicorn sighed and spoke, “Well, I know enough about normal fiction to get us through a story. I know all the tropes and tricks, so it shouldn’t be too hard.”

“So, anything we need to know if we’re going to survive?” the pink pony asked, “Or, even better, not make out with each other?”

“Well, I…wait.”

“What? What is it?” Pinkie asked.

“Do you hear that?” Twilight said, then turned quiet.

Silence.

“I don’t hear anything,” Pinkie said.

“Yeah. The erotic narrating has stopped,” the unicorn explained, “It’s like it’s on autopilot.”

“So wait. Somepony’s driving this story?” Pinkie asked with a worried face.

“Probably. Which means there’s a divine force controlling the narration in this place,” Twilight said, looking up as if an omniscient deity was looking back down, “And if they’re not here, it could mean they’re controlling elements outside of our perspective.”

“Meaning?” Pinkie asked.

“They’re on a different setting, establishing something elsewhere,” Twilight continued, “No doubt linked to us.”

“Why us? And why have I been asking so many questions?” the pink pony asked.

“Well, since it started with us, I believe we’re the focus of this, ‘tickle story’,” the unicorn said, her worry increasing, “which means if the force driving this is elsewhere, it can only mean…”

Suddenly, the front door of the library burst open, even though it had been left open since morning. Standing there in the doorway stood an intense looking unicorn mare, with a blue coat, a light blue mane, a wand for a cutie mark, and wearing a black dominatrix suit and whip. Both Twilight and Pinkie Pie looked up from their loving embrace to see the daring beauty in the library.

“Twilight Sparkle,” the unicorn declared, “I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, have returned for our rematch.”

Twilight’s nerves intensified as she glazed over the stunning unicorn’s features. Try as she may, she could not keep the words from bursting out of her mouth.

“Buck me.”

“Gladly.”