The Difficulties of Being a Cock

by RB_

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Ocellus, Griffons, Gallus, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1598

The 'male bird' kind, not the other thing.

Gallus is really bad at buckball. Like, really bad. Which wouldn't be an issue if it weren't for the fact that the other team also has a male griffon on it. Which is making this 'friendly game' feel more like a life-and-death competition.

Maybe Ocellus can help him figure out what's going on.

Preread by the wonderful TheManFromAnotherTime!

Published 2024-03-14 00:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-14 00:10:00 UTC

Buckball Sucks, by the Way

"I got it!" Gallus shouted, diving to the side.

He did not, in fact, have it. The ball sailed past his outstretched talons and into the opposing team's basket. Half the ponies in the crowd cheered; the other half groaned.

It was a busy day on the School of Friendship's Buckball field. It wasn't the school's official team that was playing, though; this was a game that was just for fun, a little scrimmage put together by Applejack and Rainbow Dash in a spot of rivalry (Twilight had given her blessing. It was a great way to bring the school together, she'd said).

Gallus landed on the turf. He put a hand behind his head and grimaced. "Sorry, guys."

"Don't worry about it, Gallus!" Sandbar said. "You'll get the next one!"

"Yeah, I guess."

It was Gallus' second year in the School. He'd been goaded into playing by Rainbow, their teams' coach. It wasn't that he hadn't wanted to play, but... it wouldn't have been his first choice. He'd only managed to block one shot all game. And now, with them down by five points, it felt like more of a fluke than anything.

"C'mon Gallus!" Rainbow's voice carried over from the sidelines. "You can do it! Just put some hustle into it!"

Gallus looked over at her. "Sorry coach!"

Applejack was standing next to Rainbow. She looked smug. Like she was winning a bet.

"Alright!" Rainbow shouted. "Back into position! We'll take the next one!"

With a sharp exhale of breath, Gallus took back to the skies. The other team was composed of two ponies Gallus didn't know personally, but their aerial member was a fellow griffon: Gordon. He wasn't from Griffonstone; he was an exchange student from the greater griffon nation of Griffonia, and he stood about a head taller than Gallus.

He was also who Gallus was afraid of.

Gallus turned his attention back to the ball.

The round started; the ball was thrown into the air. Sandbar got control of it first. He bucked it towards their goal.

But Gordon was faster. He snatched the thing out of the air and flung it towards their earth pony. "Sea Slug!" he shouted, in his deep, gruff voice. "Make it count!"

Sea Slug (that must have been the pony's name) deftly slid past Sandbar's efforts to intercept and launched the ball directly at Gallus' head.

"Oh crap!" Gallus shouted. He threw his hands out on pure instinct, trying to protect his beak. The ball hit them, bounced off, up...

The crowd cheered. Gallus opened his eyes. Turned around slowly. He winced.

The ball was in their opponents' basket.

"Nice shot, Gallus!" Gordon shouted at him, laughing. "Way to score!"

Gallus wanted nothing more than to curl up and die somewhere far away from here.

Later, in the locker rooms, Gallus was peeling off his jersey. He tossed it into the locker with some force, then slammed the door shut.

"You okay, Gallus?" Sandbar asked him.

"Me? I'm just peachy."

Sandbar smiled. "C'mon, man, it's just a game! Lighten up! So what if you missed, like, every save?"

Gallus gave him a flat look.

"I'm not helping, am I?" Sandbar said.

Gallus shook his head.

"Sorry."

"Apology accepted," Gallus said. "C'mon, I want to get out of here before—"

It was at that moment that the door to the room slammed open and Gordon walked in, his chest puffed and his head high.

Gallus sighed. "Nevermind."

"Gallus!" Gordon said, walking up to the two of them. "That sure was something, wasn't it! Can't believe you scored on your own team—thanks for that, by the way. Not that we needed it!"

"You're welcome," Gallus replied, in his usual sarcastic baritone. "It's just a game, man. Leave me alone."

"Just a game? With all those ponies watching? I don't think so." Gordon leaned against the lockers. "Listen, Gallus, I know you have some pretty... flamboyant feathers, but you really need to get it together. Man up a little, yeah? Otherwise the girls will never fall for you."

"Riiight," Gallus said. "Anyway, we'll be going..."

"Hey, I'm trying to help you out, here," he said. "Man to man."

Gallus narrowed his eyes. "Yeah. That's great. Thanks."

He pushed past Gordon's broad shoulders and headed out of the room, leaving a confused Sandbar behind.

The roof of the School of Friendship was cool that night. The roof tiles chilled Gallus' back through his fur as he stared up at the stars. The day's events replayed behind his eyes. He let out a sigh.

"Mind if I join you?"

Gallus turned his head down. A familiar blue bug was hovering in front of him.

"Yeah, kinda, Ocellus," he said.

"Too bad. Joining you anyway."

She landed on the roof. Her hooves made little clacks against the roof as she walked over beside him, then laid down.

"How'd you know I was here?" he asked.

"You always come up here to brood," she said. "I do the same thing, just so you know."

"You? Brooding?"

"It's more likely than you'd think."

He turned his eyes back towards the sky. "Are you here to brood, or...?"

"No, I'm here to find out why you're brooding. Maybe give you a friendship speech. Headmare Twilight would be so proud."

Gallus bristled.

"Relax," Ocellus said. "I'm not going to lecture you. I just want to help."

They both looked to the stars, for a while.

"I don't think you'd get it," Gallus said. "I'm not sure I totally get it, either."

"Try me."

He sighed.

"How much do you know about Gordon?"

"The griffon? I know he's from Griffonia, that's about it."

"That works," Gallus said. "Griffonia's, like... what Griffonstone was like before it went to crap. They're a big kingdom. Lots of riches. Lots of ego."

He flung his arms up. "Griffonia! Where the men are buff and manly and the women are beautiful."

"They have mandatory military service for their men, by the way." His arms went back to his sides.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Ocellus asked.

"What I'm trying to say," Gallus said, "Is that Gordon comes from a culture where men are expected to be big, athletic, and capable. And he fits that mold to a T."

"And you don't, I'm guessing."

"No," Gallus said. "I don't. I'm small, and clumsy, and I score on the opponents' goal in buckball. I'm not exactly, like... manly. Gordon reminds me of that constantly. Playing buckball reminds me of that. It always feels so much more competitive when he's there."

"Do you want to be manly?" Ocellus asked.

"Not really," Gallus said. "It's not really me. But I feel like I should want that?"

He groaned, put his talons over his eyes. "I don't even know. It's all super complicated. I'm not... good with all this touchy-feely stuff."

"Hmm," Ocellus hummed. "Well, I can't really relate; I'm a changeling, our concept of gender is—"

She was enveloped in green fire, and when it faded, a stallion was sitting there instead.

"—a little weird."

Gallus snorted. "Must be nice. You can just be whatever you want to be."

"I certainly wouldn't want to not have the option," Ocellus said. He transformed back to her usual self. "Do you... ever wish you were a girl, Gallus?"

"It's... more complicated than that," he admitted. "Sometimes I do. Other times I don't. Maybe I'm somewhere in between? I just don't know yet."

He sighed. "I just wish Gordon would stop enforcing 'being a man' onto me. I wish I didn't have to feel so inadequate next to him. I mean look at him, he's buff as hell. I don't think I'm gay, but I'd be on his flanks in a second."

Ocellus giggled. "I've never heard you talk like that before."

He smiled. "Well, we're covering all kinds of new ground tonight, aren't we."

They sat in silence for a while.

"I might have an idea of how you could get through to Gordon," Ocellus said. "Or, at least, I'd love to see the look on his face if you tried it."

"Oh? What's that?"

She told him.

Gallus laughed. "You're right, I would love to see his face."

"Will you do it then?"

Gallus took a deep breath. "Yeah, why not. What have I got to lose?"

All eyes were on Gallus as he paraded down the hallways of the School of Friendship. Some students dropped their books. Others laughed. One whistled; Gallus gave him a fingergun and a wink.

His heart hammered in his chest. Was this a good idea? Probably not. Was it funny as hell? Hell yes.

Eventually, he reached Gordon's locker. The larger griffon stood out amidst the crowd of ponies—literally, given his height. He looked up as Gallus approached.

His eyes widened. "What... what are you wearing, Gallus?"

Gallus smirked. "What's it look like, Gordon?"

'What he was wearing' was the School of Friendship's cheerleading uniform, skirt and all.

"I... you... why?" Gordon sputtered.

"Because I wanted to see your face," Gallus replied. "And boy, was it worth it. Now, do you still have anything you'd like to tell me?" He leaned against the lockers and crossed his arms. "Man to man?"

He made sure to stick his hip out too. Just a little bit. Just to get the message across.

Gordon looked him up and down. His cheeks turned red. Scowling, he slammed his locker shut and stomped off down the hallway.

Gallus watched him go. Smirked.

"Yeah, you better run."