We're Going To Hell

by TheKing2001

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Sugarcoat, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Slice of Life, Shadowbolts (EqG), Lemon Zest, Comedy, Suicide / Self Harm, Random, Equestria Girls, Violence, Indigo Zap, Sex
Length: 1438

When the Shadowbolts spend the night at Twilight's, they play a game Lemon Zest brought with her and it goes about as well as you think it would.

With her parents gone for the week, Twilight decides to invite her friends from Crystal Prep to her house in an attempt to get to know them better. It goes surprisingly better than she hoped until Lemon Zest brings out a card game she wanted to play with them all. What the heck is cards against humanity?

All tags are for the card contents.

Published 2024-03-22 22:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-22 22:20:00 UTC

Why Are You All Looking At Me?

Twilight paced back and forth in her room, her phone clenched in her hand as she had an internal war in her head.

“Just text Indigo they say,” Twilight grumbled as she flopped down on her bed. “All of my friends are busy, mom and dad are out of town, I’ve reorganized my bookcase a thousand times, I’ve reread all my books, Shining is at work and Cadence is sick.”

Twilight sighed as she unlocked her phone and texted Indigo. She didn’t necessarily hate the girl, but still was a bit wary of her. The only two she spent the most time with was Lemon Zest and Sugarcoat. Lemon Zest never did really bully her or use her, so she was on better ground with Lemon.

Twilight dropped her phone next to her as she propped her head up with a hand.

Indigo stretched a leg out before straightening up and accepted the towel Sunny Flare tossed her, wiping some sweat off her forehead.

“Thanks,” Indigo said as she dropped the towel onto the track.

“Anytime dearie. Also, your phone just went off. It was Twilight,” Sunny Flare said as Indigo gave her a stunned look.

“The bookworm? Someone bullying her? I’ll beat em up if so,” Indigo cracked her knuckles and Sunny shook her head with a faint smile.

“She’s asking if you and the others want to come to her house to hang out. Her parents are out of town. She also sent a string of emojis that I believe she tried to convey her boredom with?” Sunny said as Indigo peered over her shoulder.

“Yikes, we really need to help her up her emoji game.”

“Absolutely dearie.”

“Tell her I’ll be there,” Indigo said as she stretched her arms above her head. “I gotta hit the showers at home and change. We always have time for a quick run before we go to Twilight’s.”

“When I agreed to date you, I didn’t think it would be this way,” Sunny muttered as Indigo smirked and shrugged. “We shall see.”

“Score!”

“Twilight lives here?” Lemon Zest asked as her jaw dropped slightly as she and the other four stared up at a large white house with a purple roof surrounded by a black fence.

“I guess so,” Indigo mused as she shrugged. “Kinda figured she was rich, her mom is a book agent or whatever.”

“Must be nice,” Sour muttered as she groaned. “It’d be nice to not have mom and dad screaming at each other every night about their debts.”

The four gave her sympathetic looks as Sugarcoat coughed into her fist.

“Are we going to knock or are we just going to stand around talking while we stare up at a house?” Sugarcoat demanded as she rolled her eyes.

“I call knocking!” Sour called out as she took off towards the door.

“I thought Twilight hated us. Why is she hanging out with us?” Lemon asked as the remaining girls paused.

“Not sure,” Sunny admitted. “But! This is finally a chance to prove we deserve to know her and prove we are better people since the Games. Are we seriously going to let that opportunity slide by?”

“Fair enough,” Sugarcoat said finally as she adjusted her glasses.

Warily, the others followed Sour.

Twilight sat with her legs tucked under her, jumping slightly at a loud pounding on her front door.

“Twilight, it’s Sour Sweet, your best friend!” Sour Sweet called out in a sing song voice. “Now open up before I kick the door in, I’m cold!”

“Be nice,” a muffled Sunny Flare chided as Twilight hastily got up and ran to the door. She didn’t really want to test Sour Sweet on her door breaking claim. Twilight opened the door to reveal the five Shadowbolts waiting patiently (impatiently in Sours case) “Hello dearie!”

“H-hi Sunny Flare,” Twilight mumbled as she rubbed the back of her head.

“What’s up girl?” Indigo asked as she grinned at Twilight, cracking her neck in the process.

“Not much Indigo. What about you?” Twilight asked as her eyes flicked nervously to the athlete.

“Not much, just workin out as usual. You?”

“Reading.”

An awkward silence fell over the group, save for Lemon’s loud music playing over her headphones.

“Can we come inside?” Sugarcoat asked finally as she pulled her sweater around her tighter. “It’s thirty five degrees out.”

“Oh, of course. Sorry,” Twilight muttered as she stepped back to allow the others to step inside.

Indigo let out a whistle as she shut the door the behind her.

“Nice place,” Indigo said as she and the others examined the large entryway.

“Forget the place, nice tv!” Lemon called out as she strode into the living room.

“Thanks,” Twilight mumbled as Lemon set her backpack down. “I’m afraid to ask but what’s in the bag?”

“Oh you’ll see,” Lemon grinned at her as Twilight gulped nervously and Sugarcoat cleared her throat.

“Nothing bad, don’t worry,” Sugarcoat reassured her. “I checked and there’s nothing in there to harm anyone. No one here wants to hurt you.”

“Thank the stars,” Twilight muttered as she plopped on the couch, smiling fondly at Spike running past. “Spike!”

“Hey Twilight,” Spike said as he dropped a silver case next to her.

“Oh dear God. Why do you have your mustache collection?” Twilight asked as Spike bit it open, revealing different styles of mustaches as the Shadowbolts watched in confused silence.

“Because I want to look good for Smolder,” Spike answered as he placed a mustache on his. “How do I look Twilight?”

Twilight stared at him before she started laughing as Spike scowled at her while the Shadowbolts gave her a surprised look before laughing themselves.

“You look adorable dearie,” Sunny Flare giggled as Lemon picked him up.

“You rock it little dog dude!” Lemon announced with a grin.

“Well, well, well. Seems like someone here has good taste,” Spike commented as Indigo scratched his ears. “Oh, that’s the spot.”

“Still can’t get over the fact you have a talking dog,” Sugarcoat shook her head with a smile. “That’s so cool.”

“Even her dog has a partner,” Sour smirked and nudged Sugarcoat. “When are you getting one?”

“Shut up Sour.”

Twilight watched as Lemon set Spike down on the ground as the dog rubbed against her leg.

“In order to break the ice and awkwardness, I’ve brought a card game for us all to play!” Lemon announced as everyone looked at her.

“I’m afraid to ask,” Indigo said as she held up a hand. “What game?”

“Cards against humanity!” Lemon shouted as Indigo facepalmed.

“What’s that?” Twilight asked as Sour rolled her eyes.

“It’s a terrible fucking game. I love it.”

“Uhm okay?” Twilight said uncertaintly, adjusting her glasses as the others sat down in a circle.

“Sit down next to me dearie,” Sunny patted the floor in front of the couch. “I don’t know this game either but we shall learn together.”

“Alright!” Lemon clapped her hands together before setting the box down, yanking the top off and tossing it behind her. “We each draw ten white cards.”

Twilight nodded as she and the others each drew the white cards, examining them as Twilight and Sunny’s eyes widened, Twilight making a choking sound as Sunny turned red.

“L-Lemon? Are you sure we should be playing this game? Where did you even find it!” Sunny demanded as her blush started to go away.

“Sunset gave me her copy,” Lemon said casually as Twilight stared at her.

“Sunset had this game?” Twilight asked in disbelief.

“Yeah. Says she takes it to Equestria or whatever often to play with Starlight, her brother and some others,” Lemon said with a shrug. “So to be the Card Czar, who broke the law last?”

Everyone looked at Twilight as she sputtered incoherent words.

“Why are you all looking at me?” She demanded as Indigo snickered.

“It’s always the quiet ones,” Sugarcoat answered as she took off her sweater and folded it neatly behind her. “So?”

“I mean, I jaywalked last week,” Twilight admitted with a guilty expression.

“Works for me,” Lemon shrugged. “So you pick up a black card and read it out loud, we pick the best answers from our ten cards and you have to read the prompt followed by the white card. No biggie!”

“I’m sorry professor, but I couldn’t complete my homework because of blank,” Twilight read aloud as she sighed. “I guess give me your cards?”

The five searched their cards as Twilight looked out the window, idly wondering if this was a mistake.