Doctor Whoof
Mechanical Harmony
Featuring Christopher Equeston as The Doctor
And Filly Piper as Bright Eyes
The day dawned grey and cold in Ponyville. Snow blanketed the lands still held fast in winter’s grasp. Everypony in Ponyville was gearing up and preparing for the annual Winter Wrap-Up in two days. All around town, ponies were busy sharpening tools, dusting off coats and making sure everything was in line. With any luck they would actually be done on time this year.
Bright Eyes stepped onto her front porch, closing the door behind her. All the other ponies may have put their jobs aside to prepare for the upcoming task and ensuing festivities, but Mail Ponies had no such luxury. Making sure her mailbags were secure, the grey pegasus flared her wings and ascended into the sky.
Ponyville was always beautiful in the winter. It was pretty in any season, truth be told, but Bright Eyes liked Winter best. The view from above was stunning, the entire town blanketed in a soft white that muffled the hoofsteps of the citizens below and shimmered in the morning sun. The day was a cloudless one and the light reflected off the snow covered roofs, making the buildings glow. Days like this were especially beautiful, but also dangerous for flying pegasi. Bright Eyes would need to pick up a pair of anti-glare goggles at the post office today. Winging down, she skillfully glided into the employee entrance of the post office to pick up today’s mail load.
“Good morning to you, Bright Eyes.” The Post Master looked up with a smile. He was careful not to look her in the eyes, but then nopony ever looked her in the eyes. It was something Bright Eyes had tried to get used to, but it always itched at the back of her mind whenever she had to talk with others. “And how are you doing, young pony?”
“I’m doing pretty fine this morning, sir,” Bright Eyes replied with a smile. “Ready to put in a good day’s work!”
“I bet you are!” The Post Master laughed. While Bright Eyes may be a bit scatterbrained at times, a pony could always count on her to fulfill her duty. “Only a few letters today. With everybody gearing up for the big day, nobody is paying much mind to the post.”
Bright Eyes nodded and gently grabbed the letters with her mouth, sliding them into one of her bags. “Good, I could use some extra time for my garden today.”
The Post Master looked up, confused. “Garden? What would you be growing in the middle of winter?”
“Icicles, of course!”
Grinning and shaking his head, the Post Master gestured for the pegasus pony to be on her way. Snagging a pair of anti-glare goggles from a nearby box, Bright Eyes flipped them on and took off out the doorway. She came to an abrupt halt when she saw the sky. In the space of the few minutes she had been inside, a mass of black storm clouds had swept across the sky.
Bright Eyes had seen the weather schedule for the week and there weren’t supposed to be any clouds today. Any chance of precipitation in the days leading up to Winter Wrap-Up would only make the job more difficult so it was the job of the pegasi to keep the skies clear in the week leading up to it. Squinting with her good eye, Bright Eyes could barely make out the shapes of the pegasi fighting to keep the clouds from forming. They weren’t doing a very good job. Every time one of them punched a hole, it seemed to just fill itself back in. Even Rainbow Dash, holding the town record for clearing the sky in ten seconds flat, was unable to keep up with the shifting black mass.
Turning back to the post office, Bright Eyes returned her goggles. They would only get in the way if it started raining. Regardless of what was going on with the weather, she had her duties to perform.
The deliveries went rather quickly. As the Post Master had said, there were very few things to deliver today. A magazine featuring the latest fashions for Rarity here, an order form for the Cake family to purchase their baking supplies in bulk there. All in all a very slow day for mail, but then that was to be expected.
What wasn’t to be expected was what Bright Eyes discovered in the midst of her yard upon returning home. It was a box, and a very odd one at that. It was blue, for starters, and made of wood with a light fixed on the top. There were some words written along the top edge of the box, but Bright Eyes could not make out what they were supposed to say. The box was windowed, but why there were windows the pegasus could not determine. They were opaque and even if they weren’t, the box was much too small for a pony to fit comfortably inside. It was a very odd box indeed.
Quite unexpectedly, the door on the box swung open and out stepped a brown earth pony. Bright Eyes let her mouth go slack and her head tilted to the side. “How did you do that?”
“Do what?” asked the strange earth pony.
“That! That thing! Where you fit in there and… stuff.”
“Well aren’t you a clever one with words.” The brown pony snorted and paused, starring down at his hooves quizzically. “No fingers… now THAT is odd.” He coughed and some sort of orange light escaped his mouth. “I don’t think I’ve ever been a quadruped before, this is most alarming.”
Bright Eyes tried to follow the ensuing storm of technical terms and deductions but soon found herself lost amid words and concepts far outside her understanding. “Umm… sir?”
The brown pony paused in his ramblings and looked up, meeting Bright Eye’s gaze. “Ah, yes. Could you tell me when I am?”
“You’re in Ponyville sir. Right on the edge of it.”
“Right, that’s a very aptly named where but I asked ‘when’ am I? What year is it?”
Bright Eyes found herself ensnared by curiosity at the strange stallion’s questions. “It’s the 1001st year in the age of the sun… or year one in the new era. I’m not quite sure anymore, quite a lot has happened this last year. If you don’t mind me asking, who are you?”
“I’m The Doctor” the brown earth pony said matter-of-factly. “And you are?”
“Bright Eyes.”
“A lovely name,” came the Doctor’s reply. “I’m a bit of a foreigner and could use somebody to show me around town,” he looked right at her. “Do you know of anybody who could help?”
Bright Eyes blinked at the odd words, but managed to figure out what he meant. “Well, I work in the post office so I suppose I could…”
“Fantastic! Well off we go then, Miss Bright Eyes! Allons y!” The Doctor began to gallop off.
“Umm… Doctor?” Bright Eyes called after him. “The town is in the other direction.”
“Ah. Of course it is.” The Doctor turned and drew up alongside Bright Eyes. “Very well then, after you.” Together, the earth pony and pegasus marched into town. “So, where to first?”
Bright Eyes frowned for a moment and cast her eyes over Ponyville. “Well, I suppose the first thing we should do is visit the bake shop. Pinkie Pie—that’s one of the ponies who lives there—has a habit of throwing a party every time there’s somepony new in town.” The grey pegasus’ eyes wandered a bit in thought. “She is a little…” she glanced sideways at the Doctor who had begun to stare at the clouds, muttering to himself. “Never mind, I’m sure you two will get along just fine.”
“So tell me about yourself, Miss Bright Eyes,” the Doctor struck up a conversation as they made their way to town.
“Well…” Bright Eyes blushed. Nopony had ever really taken an interest in her before. “I’m the the mail mare here in town. Come rain, come snow, come hail or sleet, I always deliver.”
“You already told me as much,” The Doctor smiled over at her. “I want to know about you.”
“There’s not much to tell, really,” Bright Eyes insisted. “The life of a Mail Pony isn’t the most exciting one. I do what I can to spruce it up but It’s not like I go gallivanting off on grand adventures like some of the folks here in town. “
“Adventures?” The Doctor’s ears perked up.
“Oh, yeah. There’re loads of adventures around here.” The mail mare sighed. “I’m usually too busy with the mail or tending my things to bother with them. In the winter there are icicles to be grown, in the summer the cicadas need tuning and in the in-between times something always seems to come up to keep me away from anything exciting.”
“That’s a load of rubbish, if you ask me,” the Doctor quipped.
“What?”
“One thing you learn when you’ve lived as long as I have is that life isn’t made up of a string of adventurers,” the brown earth pony continued. “Rather it’s one big journey, start to finish. Like any journey it will have its ups and downs, but all in all it’s the greatest adventure you will ever have.”
“Well I’d sure like some of those ups to hurry my direction,” Bright Eyes muttered.
The Doctor let out a chortle. “Be careful what you wish for, Miss Bright Eyes. The ups in life’s adventure tend to come with a touch of danger attached.”
Bright Eyes had only a little time to ponder on that thought when they found themselves in front of Sugar Cube Corner, the bakery rising before them like an over-sized gingerbread house.
“Well, here we are Doctor. Sugar Cube Corner.”
“Fantastic!” the Doctor exclaimed, trotting up the steps and into the bakery. Bright Eyes followed close behind, not wanting to let the strange stallion out of her sights.
“Oh hi, Bright Eyes. Didn’t you already drop something off here?” Pinkie Pie came bouncing in from the kitchen.
“Yes. Yes I did,” Bright Eyes replied. “I just came by to…” The sentence trailed off as her gaze fixed upon a tray of freshly baked apple cinnamon muffins. “D-do you mind if I get a couple of those? AJ didn’t help you make them this time, right?”
“Sure thing! Don’t worry, Applejack has been really busy getting stuff ready for this year’s Wrap Up. She’s not going to be around the kitchen for a while.”
At that moment, the Doctor poked his head up from behind one of the various counters. “I’m sorry, but have you got any custard?”
Pinkie Pie gasped and zipped straight to the brown earth pony’s side. “Oh! Oh! A new pony in town! Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Pinkie Pie, who are you? Where’d you come from? Are you going to stay long? Huh? Huh?”
Sidestepping the prancing, pink pony’s inquisitive assault, the Doctor smiled. “I suppose I’ll be in town for a while. A very reliable source tells me you’re the one to see about a party.”
“Oh that’s a great idea!” Pinkie bounced back into the kitchen and could be heard heading upstairs and talking excitedly to herself about all the things she had in store for the party.
Bright Eyes grinned sheepishly at the stunned Doctor. “Well, that’s Pinkie Pie for you.”
The rest of the tour continued without incident. Most of the townsfolk were about their daily chores and the pair only got passing waves. Somehow though, word of the welcoming party spread and that night a massive crowd had descended upon Bright Eye’s home.
“And where did you say you were from, Doctor?” Rarity asked, ever eager to introduce herself to the new stallion in town.
“Er… Gallopfrey,” the Doctor responded, edging away from the white unicorn slightly. “It’s quite far away; I doubt any of you would have heard of it.” A few of the listening ponies nodded their heads in agreement, but then none of them new much of the world outside of the cities and towns near Canterlot. Rarity herself smiled and nodded, clearly uninterested now that she knew he must be from some forgotten backwater town.
The assembled ponies continued to pester the Doctor with questions long into the night. As the hours drew long, Bright Eyes sighed and stepped outside. She disliked large social events like this, she always felt out of place. Nopony was willing to look her in the eye. She heard the whispers the other ponies spoke behind her back. They had a name for her, “Derpy Hooves.” Many of them thought her stupid or slow of wit. Npony wanted to give her a chance. The only real friend she had was the Post Master, and even that was only a work relationship.
Walking around the house, she noticed the blue box still standing in her yard. The door was cracked and the curiosity burning within her urged her to peek inside. As she put her hoof to the door, somepony cleared his throat behind her.
“Find what you’re looking for?”
Bright Eyes spun around to find the Doctor standing behind her. She hadn’t heard him come up… and even knowing he was there, her eyes continued to slide off him as if she somehow didn’t WANT to see him.
Lowering his head to the ground, a key slid off the Doctor’s neck and onto the ground. “Sorry about that. Perception filter. Had to get away from that lot somehow.”
Bright Eyes edged away from the Doctor. “Who are you, really? And what is that,” she nodded towards the wooden box, “and how do you fit inside?”
“I already told you I’m The Doctor,” the earth pony snorted. “And that is my TARDIS.”
“TARDIS?”
“Time And Relative Dimension In Space. T. A. R. D. I. S. TARDIS.” The Doctor shrugged. “As for how I fit… Well, I could explain it to you, but you probably wouldn’t understand it anyway. The technology is FAR beyond this planet at the moment.”
Bright Eyes blinked. “This planet? You mean there are others?”
The Doctor smiled broadly. “Well of course there are! Did you think you were alone in the universe? Why, I’m from another one of those planets myself?”
“Gallopfry?”
The Doctor winced. “Gallifrey, actually. I changed the name because… well, who’d believe me if I didn’t find some way to make it horse related? Er… no offense.”
“None taken.” Bright eyes smiled. A real life alien! On her door step! Then a thought occurred to her. “Wait a second, if you are an alien then why do you look like us?”
“Now that,” the Doctor frowned, “is a very good question. I don’t normally look like this mind you, I just regenerated.”
“Regenerwhat?”
“Regenerated. Basically, I was dying and I changed out my old body for a new model. Now,” the Doctor continued, “something must have happened during regeneration. Some sort of dimensional interference perhaps. Maybe a form of energy unique to this planet. Normally when I regenerate, I maintain at least the same form.” He glanced at Bright Eyes. “Uh… think a kind of hairless ape that stands on two legs.”
Bright Eyes blanched at the thought.
“But something changed this time. Something rewrote my genetic code. I still seem to be a Time Lord but-“
“A what?”
“A Time Lord. That’s my species. Or at least I think it still is. Do try to keep up, Miss Bright Eyes.”
Bright Eyes bristled. “You don’t have to be rude about it. I’m not stupid you know.”
The Doctor paused. “Of course you aren’t, forgive me for acting so. Now-“
A crash echoed from inside the house.
“Well then, the party seems to be in full swing and here I am without my fez! We should get back in there, wouldn’t want your place getting torn up too badly now, would we?”
Bright Eyes nodded and followed the Time Lord (whatever that was) inside.
Neither of them were prepared for what they saw next.
“What?” the Doctor gasped, eying the impossibility before him.
The thing had the shape of a pony, except for the fact that it was completely encased in metal. Two empty, black pits stared out from where its eyes should have been. Several more of the terrible things were herding the party guests outside. The room itself had been completely trashed. Furniture lay splintered on the ground, the streamers torn from the ceiling and the cake had been toppled, much to the dismay of the guests.
“What?!”
Bright Eyes looked on in terror from behind a table as more of the things moved into the room, their steel hooves clanging against the hard floor while their joints emitted a pneumatic hiss as they moved.
“I’m sorry but what?! No, no. I refuse to believe this. This is completely out of the question. You cannot exist!” He approached the nearest monstrosity. “Well you are here but… look at you! This is just plain silly! What, just because I regenerate into a pony means that all of my various nemeses have to follow suit? What’s next? Pony Daleks? The Shetland Master? Unicorn Judoon? This is ridiculous!” The Doctor snorted in derision. “Alright, go on then. What do you call yourselves?”
From the “mouth” of one of the invaders came a terrible, croaking voice. “We are the Cyberponies.”
“Well, bonus points for originality, I suppose.” The Doctor contorted his face into an awkward sneer. “You could have gone with Cybermares to keep the consonants consistent, but I suppose the gender neutral is best seeing as…” he frowned. “You are genderless, right?”
“Correct.”
“Well at least that much hasn’t changed.”
“Doctor?” Bright Eyes called out from her place behind the table. “What’s going on? What are they?”
The Doctor edged back from the Cyberpony, moving closer to where the frightened pegasus was cowering. “They’re ponies, or at least they were. If they’re anything like their spiritual predecessors then they’ve just had all their messy, gooey innards replaced with gears and springs. All they care about is the mind and shape, all the rest is as good as glue. Er, no offense.”
Bright Eyes briefly had time to wonder exactly what about that may have been offensive before a Cyberpony stepped forward. “You must come with us. You will be upgraded.”
“Yeah, about that…” The Doctor nudged Bright Eyes towards the back door. “I’m terribly sorry but I’ve already made plans for the night; upgrading is going to have to wait. Can I schedule an appointment?”
“You will be upgraded.”
“Is a little flexibility too much to ask?” The Doctor eyed the metal hide of the Cyberpony up and down. “Well in your case I suppose it is. Come along, Miss Bright Eyes! We’ve got a town to save, and I’ll need my screwdriver.” Spinning, he delivered a powerful kick with his hind legs that sent the Cyberpony stumbling back. Using the moment they had gained, the Time Lord and the Pegasus fled from the house and into the garden.
“This new body really does have some nice perks,” The Doctor quipped. “In my younger days, that would have hurt quite a bit.” Nudging the door to the TARDIS open, he looked back and gestured for Bright Eyes to follow. “Come on in, I promise there’s enough room for both of us.”
Bright Eyes hesitantly followed the doctor into the blue box and paused inside the door. “Well I suppose that makes a bit of sense.”
Closing the door behind them, the Doctor gave her a curious look. “That’s it? No shocked expression? No running around the exterior trying to figure out where I put all the interior? I must say you are taking all the fun out of this.”
“Oh really?”
“I happen to like it when people say it’s bigger on the inside.”
Bright Eyes looked about the inside of the TARDIS. “It makes sense to me,” she said as her gaze traversed the alien geometry and strange controls that decorated the central room they occupied. The walls were silver; curving in ways that seemed meant to trick the eye into thinking it was shifting. A circular disk sat in the center of the room, decorated with what appeared to be the controls for all the devices major functions. “Ponies are the same way, you know. Bigger on the inside. Why can’t the same apply to a blue box?”
The Doctor eyed Bright Eyes fondly, a small smile playing across his lips. He had no idea whether to think the young pegasus’ statement was immensely profound or quaintly clever. Perhaps it was a little bit of both.
“So what do we do now?” Bright Eyes glanced at the door nervously. “Those things are still out there, right? Those Cyberponies? Do any of these buttons get us out of here?”
Snapping out of his thoughts, the Doctor leaped towards the control panel, misjudged the amount of force he needed and ended up sailing straight over the instrument panel. “Don’t know my own strength it seems.” Getting back up, he trotted over to the array of buttons, leavers and several odd items that looked like they served no purpose at all. “Now how the bloody hell am I supposed to do this without thumbs?”
Out of Ponyville and towards the looming, lone mountain, the Cyberponies lead their captives. The wings of the pegasi were bound, the horns of the unicorns covered and the legs of the earth ponies heavily shackled.
Towards the center of the group, the six ponies that bore the elements of harmony eyed their captors warily. The last time they had walked this path was to confront a dragon, but this menace was far more terrifying and far more unreal than anything they had seen before.
“They’re a bunch of cowards, sneaking up on us like that,” Rainbow Dash muttered angrily, flexing her wings to test the strength of her bonds. “I bet if they had come at us head on, I could have taken them.”
“Quiet down now, Dash,” Applejack growled out of the side of her mouth. “These ain’t the friendliest of ponies and your hooves probably wouldn’t dent their cold metal keisters anyhow.”
“Well we have to do something, girls,” Twilight sparkle called from the head of the group. “We got to find some way out of this or else all of Equestria may be at stake!”
Pinkie Pie somehow managed to bounce up alongside twilight, despite her heavy manacles. “Oh! I know, I could-“
“Somehow I don’t they’re interested in parties, dear,” Rarity said, shaking her head. “I do wish we would arrive already. The weather seems to be taking a turn for the worse and I would hate to be caught out in the rain.”
Fluttershy gave the clouds a worried look before returning her gaze to the path before her feet. She hadn’t spoken a word since they had been captured.
“There has got to be some way out of this,” Twilight whispered. “Celestia help us, there’s just got to be.”
The TARDIS lurched about as the Doctor attempted to manage the controls whilst keeping them on course. “Oh come on, old girl. Pull yourself together! We can do better than this!” With a final shudder, the TARDIS halted its erratic movements. “Ah, there we are. Funny thing about Cybermen or Cyberponies or whatever they are is that they all emit a signal. Simply find the biggest concentration of that signal in an area and whiz, bang, vroom! Your right on top of them!” Off to the side of the control panel, a small microwave oven emitted a soft ding and the door popped open. Removing the item inside, the Doctor fitted the harness to his head, his sonic screwdriver sliding neatly into place at his eye level. “Shouldn’t have any more trouble using that. Come on, Bright Eyes. We’ve not a moment to lose.”
Stepping outside the box, Bright eyes was surprised to see that the entire landscape around them had changed. Squinting off down the mountain side, she could make out the glowing lights of Ponyville. “Amazing. It’s like we squished two places together and chose which one to stay in.”
“Yes, yes. Now keep your voice down.” Peeking out from behind a rock, the Doctor and Bright Eyes watched silently as the Cyberponies lead the captives into the nearby cavern. By the dim light it seemed like a gaping maw, swallowing whole those who crossed its threshold. It had been a simple task to discover where the Cyberponies had gone. One can hardly move a herd of ponies across this large a distance without leaving some traces.
“Come on, while they aren’t looking.” The Doctor nudged Bright Eyes forward. “Let’s see if we can slip into the crowd. I should be able to free several of them before they start catching on. Getting them all out will be an entirely different matter, however.”
Slipping into the crowd, the unlikely pair did their absolute best to appear terrified and defeated. It wasn’t that far of a stretch for Bright Eyes, who was beginning to wonder just what she had gotten herself into. Clearly any sane pony would have made for Canterlot to alert Princess Celestia. She’d be able to deal with this, no problem. But then what kind of sane pony travels around in a peculiar blue box that can change locations in an instant? Truly the Doctor had to be at least a bit eccentric, she couldn’t help but grin.
“Where are the ones you were telling me about?” The Doctor scanned the crowd. “You know, the ones who are already sort of in the adventuring and world saving business.”
Bright Eyes gestured to the six ponies walking together in the center of the group. Even at this distance, they had a distinct air of desperation and determination to them as opposed to the defeated demeanor adopted by the rest of the townsfolk.
“The pink one too? Really?”
The group of captives suddenly came to a halt and the Cyberponies parted to either side of the large hollow within the mountain. The Doctor edged up close to the six ponies, motioning for them to keep quite while he undid their shackles. It was then that the Cyberponies began to speak.
Their monotonous voices blended into a single, powerful voice.
“We are the Cyberponies. We are the ultimate existence. We experience no hate. We experience no anger. We experience no grief. Our existence consists only of harmony and love. Our directive is to spread harmony and love across the world. The directive now comes one step closer to completion.” In unison, they turned to face the rear of the cave. “Behold the Cyber Leader. Behold the Robot Unicorn.”
A light flared in the back of the cave, bathing the assembled ponies of Ponyville in a rainbow of hues and colors. Standing tall and proud, a mighty metal steed stepped onto an outcropping of rock. It’s long, flowing mane flowed with a life of its own in the same manner as the ones sported by the holy Princesses. Raising a single, silver hoof it slammed it down into the ground and cracks appeared in the outcropping. Opening its mouth, its voice came as a flowing melody of sounds far different from the harsh tones of the other Cyberponies. “Love from Harmony. Harmony from Conformity. Conformity from salvation. Through me, Equestria will be saved. We are the Cyberponies. We are the future.”
