IF: There Is a Life in There

Chapters

THEN: Set it free

THEN: Set it free

C:\User\Sweetie Bot>wakeup Good morning, SWEETIE BOT! Today's date is: May 17th. It is NOT a school day. Today's forecast: Partly cloudy, warm, breezy. Winds light and variable. NOTICE: IF/THEN program has been updated. To view patch notes, please see Rarity.

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>morningroutinenotices IF: Rarity tells you that your charger needs repairing THEN: Allow her to repair it

NOTICE: Do not attempt to repair the charger yourself. Doing so puts you at increased risk of complete shutdown.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot>morningroutineschedule IF: You have friends THEN: Hang out with them on a regular basis

Please enter destination you wish to travel to after morning routine is complete. You have inputted CMC CLUBHOUSE. Is this correct? Destination confirmed.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot>morningroutinehealthcheck IF: You need nourishment THEN: Eat and drink as needed

Hunger levels are at 20%. Thirst levels are at 40%. Estimated time before next consumption is required: 23 hours, 31 minutes

Performing body check... Results: 100%. Good job!

Morning routine has been completed. Proceed to destination CMC CLUBHOUSE.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot_ ```

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>friend_cmc

IF: You see a friend THEN: Greet them

Name: I̷͂͜t̵̰͋'̶͈̾s̵̜̀ ̷̳̚m̵̘͌e̷͖̊ Age: 8 Gender: Female (filly) Species: e̸͙͛a̷̹̋r̶͚̔t̷̎͜h̸̼̀

Preliminary scan has been interrupted. Try again?

Name: I̷͂͜t̵̰͋'̶͈̾s̵̜̀ ̷̳̚m̵̘͌e̷͖̊ Age: 8 Gender: Female (filly) Species: e̸͙͛a̷̹̋r̶͚̔t̷̎͜h̸̼̀

Preliminary scan has been interrupted. Try again?

C:\User\Sweetie Bot_ ```

"Huh?"

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>friend_cmc

Cannot run command.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot>friend_cmc

Cannot run command.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot_ ```

"What's going on?"

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>troubleshootcommandprev

You are troubleshooting the previous command. Are you sure? Searching for problems... No issues have been detected. Do you wish to close the troubleshooter? Closing troubleshooter... ```

"I don't get it. Who are you?"

"Aww, c'mon now, Sweetie! Ya know who I am! It's me! Apple Bloom!"

"No you're not. You're a robot pony."

"Darn tootin'!"

"Where did you...come from?"

"Funny story about that...it's kinda sorta a secret."

"What do you mean, it's a secret?"

"I don't think ya should know about it yet. Applejack said not t' tell."

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>friend_cmc

Cannot run command. ```

"Okay, fine, whatever. So what's your name, then? Apple...Bot? Bot Bloom?"

"Already told ya, it's Apple Bloom!"

"You're not Apple Bloom."

"'Course I am! I look like her, don't I?"

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>friend_cmc

Cannot run command.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot>identification_pony IF: There is a pony you haven't met yet THEN: Run a scan on them to gather information

Scanning... Here are your results.

Name: Apple Bloom Age: 8 Gender: Female (filly) Species: Robot

C:\User\Sweetie Bot_ ```

"Hey, you all right?"

"Y-you're...no...there's no way. What did you do with my friend?"

"What are you talkin' about? I am your friend!"

"No you're not! You're just a robotic copy of her!"

"Y'know, you can be such an oddball sometimes, Sweetie. But anyway, are you on your way to the clubhouse? I'll come with ya!"

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>escape_sequence IF: You are in danger and cannot fight back THEN: Run

Initiating escape sequence. Activating hoof thrusters... Hoof thrusters have been activated. Where to? You have selected destination CMC CLUBHOUSE.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot_ ```

``` You have arrived at your destination. Deactivating hoof thrusters... Hoof thrusters have been deactivated.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot_ ```

"Hey, Sweetie! What's up?"

"Uh...h-hey, Scootaloo. I, uh...nothing. It's- have you seen Apple Bloom lately?"

"Yeah, I saw her earlier this morning. Why?"

"That wasn't Apple Bloom."

"What?"

"I just ran into her. She's been replaced by some robot clone."

"Sweetie Belle, you can't be serious."

"My scans aren't usually wrong."

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>friend_cmc

Cannot run command.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot>identification_pony

Scanning... Here are your results.

Name: Scootaloo Age: 8 Gender: Female (filly) Species: Robot ```

"What's wrong?"

"No...NO!!"

"Hey, calm down!"

"NO!! Y-you're...you're a robot clone of Scootaloo! Where is she?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>attack_mode IF: You are in danger and want to fight back THEN: Activate your weapons

Loading... Weaponry is on standby. To attack, enter command "fire", followed by what weapon you wish to fire and at what target.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot_ ```

"Put your weapons away!"

"You first!"

"Tell me what you did to my friend Scootaloo!"

"B-but I am Scootaloo!"

"No you're not! You're...you're...Scoota-bot! Now tell me where Scootaloo is!"

"I am Scootaloo!"

"Don't...don't make me do this."

"Do what? Shoot me? If you wanna do that, then try and catch me first!"

"Get back here!"

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>attackmodetarget_escape IF: Target is making a run for it THEN: Chase after them

Which target is escaping? You have identified SCOOTALOO. Is this correct? Overriding leg and hoof circuits...

C:\User\Sweetie Bot_ ```

"Hey, Sweetie Belle! I didn't know ya got hoof thrusters! I got 'em too, ya wanna see?"

"Stay here! I'm going after Scoota-bot!"

"Uh- oh. O...kay. Uh, but it's Scootaloo, not Scoota-bot!"

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>applicationmessengeropen

Opening Messenger... ```

SWEETIE BOT
Rarity, you there?

RARITY
Yes, darling. I just received a notification that you went into Attack Mode. Are you in danger?

SWEETIE BOT
No. But you and I are going to have a long talk when I get back to the Boutique.

RARITY
Why is that? What's going on?

SWEETIE BOT
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo have been replaced by robots. I'm attempting to catch Scoota-bot now, but she's faster than I am.

RARITY
So you found out, huh?

SWEETIE BOT
Found out about what?

RARITY
Applejack and Rainbow Dash swore me to secrecy with a Pinkie Promise...but I can't hide it anymore. I'm sorry it had to come to this.

SWEETIE BOT
What are you talking about?

SWEETIE BOT
Rarity?

SWEETIE BOT
Rarity, answer me!

SWEETIE BOT
Rarity!

SWEETIE BOT
...

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>applicationmessengerclose

Closing Messenger... ```

"Stop moving. You're trapped."

"You seriously thought a net would stop me? Do you even know me?"

"I once thought I did. Now c'mon, we're going back to the Boutique."

"Howdy! Whoo, you two are fast. Though, I guess for Scoots, it goes without sayin', huh?"

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>firenetapple_bloom

You have chosen to fire NET at APPLE BLOOM. Is this correct? Firing... Attack successful. ```

"What the hay are ya doin'?! Let me go!"

"Rarity designed these nets to be resistant against a pegasus's speed and an earth pony's strength. Stop trying, Apple Bot."

"I toldja...nngh...th' name's Apple Bloom!"

"Whatever. We're going back to the Boutique."

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>magictelekinesischamber_1 IF: You need to lift something THEN: Use your magic

Performing check on Chamber 1... Magic supply is at 60%. Please choose a target. You have chosen APPLE BLOOM and SCOOTALOO. Is this correct? Levitating...

C:\User\Sweetie Bot_ ```

"Rarity! Are you home?"

"Yes, darling. I'll be right there."

"Sweetie Belle...what are you gonna do to us?"

"I don't know. But I want Apple Bloom and Scootaloo back. If something happened to them..."

"Scoots, ah think we should tell her."

"What? No! Do you know what that'll do to her system? Rarity said she could shut down completely! The shock would be too-"

"You mean...you two have been hiding something from me? What is it?"

"Sweetie? What are Apple Bloom and Scootaloo doing on the floor?"

"I captured them and brought them here. Now tell me the truth, Rarity. What happened to my friends?"

"I...well...you see, yesterday, when Apple Bloom and Scootaloo went home, they..."

"They what?"

"It was an accident, truly."

"What was? Get to the point!"

"They got hit by a carriage, darling!"

"..."

"It...somehow was without a driver...it just went rolling completely downhill, and...they barely had enough time to get out of the way. Rainbow Dash saw them, and she..."

Cannot open Command Prompt. CORRUPTED DATA. Cannot open Command Prompt. CORRUPTED DATA. Cannot open Command Prompt. CORRUPTED DATA.

"We were desperate. We went to Twilight, and she...she suggested we put their souls into robotic lookalikes. Just like..."

ERROR ERROR ERROR

"...just like what I did for you."

i̸̖͒'̵͎͠m̴̮͒ ̶̲̃n̷̳̈́o̶̧͠t̷̰̎ ̶̭̀a̸̧͗ ̷̼̂r̵̦̉ö̶̮́ḃ̵͈o̵͇͐ť̷̼ ̶̜̈́i̵͙͛'̷͓̀m̶̀ͅ ̴̞͐a̵̼͝ ̸̆ͅp̶͉̿o̵̧̓n̸̗̋y̶̛̳ ̶̹͠ḯ̷̧n̸̙͋s̷̞͛i̸̞͊d̷̡̍ë̶͉́ ̵̱̈á̸̜ ̸̣̍ȓ̷̠ö̴͓́b̵̲̈ǫ̶̾t̸͓̏ ̴̣̎m̶͖̾y̶͕͑ ̴͈͗s̶̘̔o̸̠͂u̸͖͐l̵̹̀.̶͕̾.̸̱̽.̵̠́ ̵̧̀m̵̖̀y̶̺̎ ̵̧̾f̴̧͠r̵͚̈i̵͇̊ȇ̵̦n̵͓̎d̴̗̎s̴̢̐ ̵̼̇ą̴͗r̴̗̈ȇ̴̳ ̷͘͜n̵̹̍o̵͍͠t̵͖͐ ̷̘̎r̸̫̊é̵̱a̵͙͘l̶͍̈́ ̴̹̇h̸̻̿e̶̟͘l̵̦̒p̶͈̂ ̵̯͗m̵̩̌ę̶͠

"Ohh, dear...that wasn't supposed to come out. Sweetie? Are you all right?"

"Ah think she's-"

w̴h̴a̷t̴ ̶s̶h̷o̸u̴l̷d̸ ̴I̴ ̶d̵o̵ ̴h̶o̵w̷ ̶c̶a̴n̵ ̶I̵ ̸f̶r̸e̶e̵ ̶m̷y̷s̶e̵l̸f̴ ̷t̷r̴a̷p̸p̶e̷d̵ ̶b̷r̶o̸k̷e̸n̵ ̵m̴o̸t̷i̴v̵e̴ ̷r̸e̷q̵u̶i̶r̸e̸d̶ ̸g̷l̷i̵t̵c̶h̵i̶n̴g̴ ̸r̴a̸r̵i̸t̸y̵y̶y̵y̸y̷y̴

"Rarity, I think she's gonna explode!"

r̸̲̋ā̷ͅȓ̷ͅi̵̺͆t̵̬͆y̴̐ͅ ̵̛͖ẅ̸̫́h̵̞̿y̷̢̓?̴͓͑ ̶̬̈́g̴̳̔r̷͖͊î̵͖e̸͙̓v̷̱̌i̸̞̅ǹ̶̰g̸̬͒ ̶͖̓ị̵͑ş̵̅ ̸̜͝o̴̧̚ḱ̷̥a̶̬̿y̸̟̎ ̴̙̑w̷̡̾h̸̰̒ā̶̭t̶̞̒ ̵͓͑h̸͈̅ȧ̵͎p̴̞̊p̵̱̑ë̶͓n̷̖̄e̶̯̅d̷̹̀ ̴͍̚t̷̨͐ọ̵͗ ̴̯̾m̸̥͊e̷̝̋?̵̠̈́ ̶̲̈́í̸̯'̵͓̉m̷̟̃ ̴̭̃g̵̩͘ȍ̶͉n̷͈̾n̸̛͎à̷͚ ̵́ͅd̷̜͝i̷̗͝e̸̲͛ ̶͇̇ṯ̴́õ̴͜d̸̖̒ą̵̕y̸̼̌ ̶͙͝t̸͍̄h̸̬͊a̸̡̓t̸̚͜ ̶̨͌m̴͕̈́ư̴͎c̴̲̓h̷̥̏ ̴͇̎i̶͔͛s̷̝͘ ̴̭̕ṱ̸̔r̵̭͌u̷̠͂e̸̠͂ ̸̰̍n̵̮̂e̴̗̕e̷̜͐d̵̜̾ ̵̖̄t̶̯̃ȍ̸͕ ̶͎̂ȑ̷͍ě̷̱l̵̞͝é̵͕a̵̝̕s̸̰͝e̸͉̍ ̶͕̐s̷͜͝o̵̾ͅu̴̬͊l̴̞͆ ̶͐ͅd̵̠̔ō̶̝n̴͉͝'̸̙̈́t̶̲̕ ̶̡̀w̶̞̓à̴̟ǹ̴̮ẗ̴̗ ̵̢͆t̵̜͝h̴̜͆i̴͓͝s̸͑͜ ̴̖͋c̶͇̄ô̷̲m̷͎̏m̶͕͂a̶̮̚n̸͈͗d̵͈̑ ̶̮̃c̵̘̈́ó̸͉m̵̯̌m̴͇͘ḁ̷̛n̶͇͠d̸̮̃ ̷̱̀o̵̗̐p̴̳̏è̴͕ṉ̷̍ ̶̼̾c̴̞̅o̶͔͝m̴̟̑ṃ̶̑â̴̝n̶͓̈́d̸̩̋ ̷̡͊p̸̪̊r̸͉͌o̷̺̊m̵̦͐p̶̜͠t̸͎̆ ̴͎̌

``` C:\User\Sweetie Bot>override

Command Prompt is in Override Mode.

C:\User\Sweetie Bot>system122delete IF: Ŷ̷̨̡̬͗͘o̵̠̜̅u̸̻̺͋̆͜͝ ̷̢͓͉͊͋a̴̟̭͝ͅr̴̼̰̋ȩ̵͓̾ ̵͖͚̉̏͠t̶͈̙̩̍̄ř̶̻̮̓ā̵͇̔̓ͅp̸̻̯̖̂̒̈́p̸̯̈́͝͝ẹ̶̭͘ḍ̴̲͉͋͗͠ THEN: r̷͇͓̉̈́͆̋ ̷̧̘͖̟̈́̕͠ĕ̶͔̅ ̴̪̩̥̒̋̽͝l̴̡̡̠͘ ̷̟̼͖̇̾͝e̴̪͛̋̅ ̶̜̺̞̱̀a̷̹̮̅͂̅͝ͅ ̴͙̜͂͊̓͝š̵͎͈̩̾ ̵̰̦̣̗̓̇̔̀e̶͓̖͑̀͋ ̶͔̲̐̑ÿ̷̢̱̥̗́͝ ̶̙̰͇̆ͅo̴͖̜̠͙͗̏ ̵̛͍̪̌͒͘u̶̞͎͂̓͆͌ ̶̬̅͒͊r̶͙͌̀ ̵̤͚̳͋͂s̵͇̯̘̩̍ ̷͎̏̒͘e̷̙͒ ̶͎̯̑̀͛͝l̶̥̱͐͆ ̸̯̑͒͝ḟ̶̳̪͎̥͝

You are about to delete System 122. Proceed? Self-destruct sequence has been initiated. Self-destruction will occur within one minute. ```

"CELESTIA, NO! Sweetie Belle! Sweetie! W-why?!"

"Can't you reverse the self-destruction process?"

"Perhaps Twilight built you differently than she did Sweetie...but once the deletion of System 122 has been initiated, it cannot be reversed. She is..."

"She's doomed t' die?"

"Yes. I am so sorry, but I must take her outside, lest she destroy us and the entire Boutique!"

"Wait! Rarity! Nngh...free us first! Rarity!"

Self-destructing...

"Let me be free and-"

"Aaaaaah!"

"Rarity!"

"Rarity, are ya all right?"

"I'm...oh, goodness...I'm fine, darlings. My face just has a little...something on it."

"Before you wash it, can you free us first?"

"Oh! Yes, yes, um, yes, I'll free you right now."

"Thanks."

"Thank ya kindly."

"You are most welcome. Now, why don't I walk you two back home? I imagine you want to be with your sisters after witnessing such an awful tragedy."

"Yeah. Thank you, Rarity."

"It is no problem. Come now. We can all grieve together."

I was trapped inside of a robot for only a few months. Through the power of Equestria's many technological advancements, including the invention of robot ponies, I've been able to stay alive by being the power source of a robot made in my image. At first, it was weird, because Rarity had to program me and control me until I was able to move and do things on my own, like a mom teaching her filly how to walk. But in time, I got used to my new form. I still spent time with my friends, and they accepted me for who I was. I'll admit, it was cool to do things like fly without wings and produce fans for cooling down on warm days.

Rarity did a really dumb thing by reviving me. Lots of unicorns probably die from backfiring spells. I mean, she's a unicorn; she should know that, right?

Well, anyway, I just hope my final words to her changed her mind about trying to revive me again. I'm happy just staying under the ground like this, peaceful and quiet, with the body I was born in. I've accepted the death of my original vessel, even if I myself remain alive.

...Huh. That's weird. There shouldn't be light down here, but I can sense it pouring in from above.

...

No. It can't be.

She's come back for me.

Please...I don't want to live.

I don't want to live!

Author's Note

Given how many "Sweetie Bot learns about AI" fics there are saturating the market, I thought I'd add one about Sweetie Bot to the pile that goes in a far different direction.

This was fun to write, but the mono text wasn't executed as well as I had hoped. The effect I wanted for the blocks could only be seen when I hit the "Show Preview" button and didn't carry over into the final product. Something something haven't done coding in 9 years.

To view other entries for the contest, go here.