Applejack has a cloaca. An enormous, supernatural cloaca that fits just about anything. You can even sleep in it (the bed is near the library).

This anthology resembles comedy. But no matter how low your expectations are, you will be disappointed. The stories are more dumb, gross, and juvenile than you could possibly imagine. You will want to stop reading, but it will be too late. Applejack's cloaca is not just a time-wasting crude joke. It will defile your mind, blight your soul, and eject your lunch. But today is April Fools' Day; you have been warned!

The stories arose from a thread on 4chan's /mlp/ now archived at https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40679130. In #40679923, someone made a typo, writing "AJ's cloest" for "AJ's closet." In #40679923, someone else posted that they misread the typo as "AJ's cloaca." With that, a meme was born.

I am neither the first nor the only person to have written stories about Applejack having a cloaca, but this anthology collects only my own work. I have reordered the stories, added titles, and edited for typos and style. Otherwise, they are as originally posted. The last three are new. I called them bonuses; but you should know by now that you can't trust my judgment!

The publication of these stories on Fimfic coincides with Operation Crackfic Storm 2024. See the submissions folder for more stories of dubious quality.

Content warnings:

• Bedtime: Second person, Anon, interrupted sleep
• Moving Day: Second person, Anon, non-consensual personal transportation
• Snowstorm: Failed leadership skills
• Room at the Inn: Blasphemy, Ikea
• Inspection: Feeling embarrassed at school
• Striptease: Second person, not understanding the obvious
• Weaponized: Implied global warming
• The Call of Apphulhu: First person, cosmic horror, purple prose
• Punishment: Short-tempered parenting
• Infection: Implied consensual displays of affection, gardening
• Ingredients: Party games
• Meme: Self-reference
• Parking Lot: Improper parliamentary procedure
• Waterspout: Drug use, unrealistic engineering
• Tentacle Monster: Self-entitled behavior, bad acting

Added 2024-04-06: The author of the first Cloacajack greentext has asked for his story to be added here. It is now available as an extra chapter, "The first Cloacajack story."