Chapter Twenty Three - Klugetown Cleanup

"But he's dead!" Tempest protested when I'd shown the letter to the rest of the crew. "Twilight dropped him a cable's length to the hardpan and then impaled him with iron bars!"

"Not to mention burying him under a flaming airship," Ket added.

Rarity gave me a considering look. "Sounds thorough enough to me."

"Came at breakfast, you say?" Ket asked Rarity who nodded. "And what would you estimate the travel time from up north for this message would be, Captain?"

I saw where she was going immediately. "Most of a day at least, which means Cadance wrote it well before I killed the King."

"Crossed messages, d'you think?"

"I… I don't know. If visions behaved in any sort of sane way, I might have a hope of figuring this out. As it is…" I chewed at my lower lip for a second, thinking. "No, it might be the Eastern Fleet commander she's confusing for the King himself, or…" I paused again.

"May I make a suggestion, dear?"

"Of course!'

"The other fleet still needs to be dealt with, so we have to hurry north in any case, but it would be wise to confirm that the Storm King is truly dead, wouldn't it? An hour or so isn't much time to lose, and it would give everypony some peace of mind. After all, there are some ponies who could survive that sort of treatment."

I nodded. "You're right. Positive proof right under my hooves is the best thing to have in this situation. We'll go make sure he's dead as quickly as possible, and then hothoof it north for the Empire."

I lifted up the ornithopter and took a close look at the damage. "Is there a piece of crystal on the sand over there?" I asked Rarity. "The failsafe spell won't work if there are any parts missing."

She found the little bit of crystal that had been a piece of infill between the veins of the stylized dragonfly wing and floated it over to me. I put it in place and had the little machine back in pristine condition very quickly.

Ket and Tempest removed the tarp covering Bookmark's envelope, stowed it away, and we were all in the air a minute later.

Klugetown looked awful. Not that it would have been pleasant-looking under any conceivable circumstances, but with greasy smoke from burning wreckage swirling around the rock spires, and the sandstone pillar that had served as a fuel depot mostly engulfed in flames as well, it certainly wouldn't make anypony's top ten tourist destinations list.

There were quite a few grungy-looking airships standing off from the town, and several groups of interesting-looking creatures milling around, watching the fires burn themselves out.

We landed as close to the flagship as seemed safe. I hopped out and peered at the twisted and charred metal frame. "I think that's the place," I said, pointing. "I'll see if I can't roll the wreckage off of—"

"Well, well, well, whatta we got here?" came a guttural voice from my right.

I turned to see a rather large creature that looked like an oversized, bipedal catfish approaching.

"Cute little ponies playin' dress-up!" squawked the wingless bird creature beside him. "Who are you supposed to be? The fearsome pirate Blackmane?"

Rarity and I exchanged glances. "Why does everyone around here know who I am?" I grumbled at her.

The approaching pair, and the ugly mob behind them, overheard me and several creatures laughed.

"Don't be scared, little ponies!" Fish Guy said. "We just wanna get a nice close look at those pretty costumes o' yours!"

"Yeah," Parrot Face added. "Maybe we—"

I think Rarity and I noticed the patches on the gray coveralls that Parrot Face wore at the same time. We weren't going to let the thugs get much closer in any case, but seeing the Storm King's insignia made our response a little less measured than it might have been.

"Nebulas, at them!" I yelled.

Rarity's needles hissed out of their sheaths and whipped in gleaming arcs toward Parrot Face. Tempest charged, spun, and drove both hind hooves into Fish Guy's substantial gut. I used my twin short swords to cut through the handle of a huge pickaxe wielded by a lizard-like creature in two places and then I drove their pommels into the back of his skull as he tried, stupidly and futilely, to catch the pieces of his weapon. The lumbering, hairy hulk that had tried to flank us, screamed and floundered backwards away from the writhing horror that Ket had turned into.

Lizard Thing hit the ground, his eyes rolled up in his head and his long tongue flopping out on the sand. Fish Guy lay on his back, gasping like… Well—like a fish out of water. Everyone else had frozen in place, particularly Parrot Face, who was obviously amazed that he was still all in one piece. The same could not be said of his coveralls, which slumped around his feet in neatly sliced ribbons.

Rarity fanned four of her blades out behind her head, making sure that the mirror-bright metal reflected shafts of sunlight across the eyes of the mob. The fifth blade, she held up high with a pierced Stormguard patch on the point. "This is unacceptable," she said. With a showy moulinet,[1]she flung the patch so that it slapped Parrot Face on the chest. It fell to the ground, and he made no effort to retrieve it.

[1] A circular motion of the blade, rarely used in actual fighting because it is relatively slow. It sure looks impressive, though.

"Captain!" Parrot Face screamed.

"What? I'm right here! You don't need to yell!" I was beginning to think that the mentality of the denizens of Klugetown was as disordered as the town's physical appearance. All put together, I suspected Discord might have visited the place in his pre-statuary days, and things had gone downhill from there.

"Uh… No… Beggin' yer pardon, ma'am, I meant my captain," the bird explained.

I was about to ask him to clarify that when I noticed a figure pushing through the stunned and staring crowd. Another flightless bird, she wore a loose muslin shirt and plain sailcloth pants. But she also wore a big gold hoop earring and her right leg ended in a peg made of green crystal.

Parrot Face pointed at me as she came up and stood by him. "It's Blackmane! I think it's really her!"

Peg Leg cocked her head and said, "Anybody can wear a red greatcoat and carry a pair of overgrown paring knives."

"Look!" Parrot Face pointed down at his shredded coveralls and then at Rarity. "She did that! That's Silver Mask, that is!"

Peg Leg looked at Rarity who swirled her bright needles around her like a Cloudsdale ribbon dancer. "Believe it, dear. You're far too pretty to die in this horrible place."

I saw Peg Leg's hand move slightly toward her hip, right where the hilt of a cutlass would hang, if she'd been wearing one. Then she relaxed a bit and said, "I thought you'd be taller."

Some idiot in the crowd said, "Let's rush 'em! They can't get us all!" He was, of course, near the rear of the mob.

More birds moved up behind Peg Leg, and they were armed. Some of them were carrying extra swords. One of them held out a cutlass for their leader.

"Oh well," I shrugged. "If we must…"

The creatures at the front of the crowd suddenly gasped and looked past me, their mouths dropping open in shock. I spun and saw, not another enemy, but the burning fuel spire, beginning to topple. It was falling towards the rest of the town, and if the impact didn't do it, the burning oil tanks would certainly take out half of Klugetown.

I acted instinctively. I could levitate several tons, but the enormous stone spire was far beyond my ability even when I wasn't nearly depleted, so I resorted to something very dangerous. Geomancy is not only a restricted field of magic in Equestria, but every book on the subject that a pony might stumble across is deliberately misleading with the intention of making the dangerous magic impossible to wield. I had found out the truth of the matter in a very direct and unpleasant way,[2] but that meant that I actually knew how to channel that forbidden type of magic.

[2] See The Luna Cypher.

I shoved my hooves deep into the sand and touched the Wheel of the World. With the lightest brush of my magic, I drew on a tiny fraction of the power of that terrifying magical construct to raise a block of stone beneath the tilting spire in order to guide it away from the town. The slow, but inexorable power of the Wheel wrenched painfully at me as it flowed through my pitiful little conduit an instant before I broke contact, but I knew I had succeeded.

Because I am also a pony who doesn't want to let a good opportunity go to waste, I fired off a little starfire bolt at the base of the spire. The onlookers would have no clue that I'd used the borrowed power of geomancy to shove the rock tower away from their town, but a little flash and pop made it look like I'd deflected megatons of stone with my horn alone.

The spire hit the open desert with a bone-shaking crash and raised a huge cloud of dust and smoke. Fortunately, we were upwind from the impact.

I turned back to the crowd. "Now… Where were we?"

Most of them decided that they needed to be elsewhere in a frantic hurry, but the birds stuck around.

Peg Leg looked me in the eye. "Captain Blackmane."

It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway. "And you are?"

"Captain Celaeno, Scourge of the Sea of Clouds." She waved a claw at the other birds behind her. "My crew."

Oh yes, a fellow pirate, and no mistake. I lifted the little patch at her feet… I mean foot, and said, "But your bird was wearing this."

She raised her crystal peg leg and swept the patch out of my field, stabbing it down into the sand. "It's a fool of a bird who doesn't run before a killer storm, but now that he's dead… He is dead, isn't he?"

"I did my best, and we're here to make sure that I succeeded."

"It would be good to know for sure," she said and then started a bit when she glanced over at Bookmark. "Is… Does that thing belong to you?"

I spared a glance myself and saw Ket curled protectively around both craft, long black tentacles and saw-toothed stingers coiled and swaying. "My Third Officer," I told Celaeno.

Her beak clicked shut and after a moment, she dragged her gaze away. "If you say so, Captain."

"Best Third flying," I told her.

There was a slight sound of protest from one of the birds behind her, but we both ignored it.

"You'll have to excuse me, Captain, but I'm on a tight schedule," I told her, turning toward the wreck of the flagship. The detonation of the magical weapons aboard had evidently had a serious effect on the vessel because the steel skeleton of the airship tore and crumbled when I touched it. I switched from levitation to a wedge-shaped shield to scrape the wreckage away. It took a lot more energy, but I still had storage crystals literally up my sleeves. I got it done fairly quickly.

"There he is," I said, recognising a uniquely shaped antler poking up from the debris. I tugged, and most of the Storm King's head lifted up into the air. It seemed the rest of him had been reduced to nothing but pulverized ashes.

I scanned the head for any sign of magical jiggery-pokery that might have preserved or transferred the nasty old yeti's essence but found nothing. I floated it over to Celaeno and dropped it at her foot. "Dead as can be, and there's your proof. Keep it as a souvenir if you like."

Birds can make some very odd noises at times.

"It was delightful to meet you, Captain Celaeno—" Rarity hurried to say, "—but we really must be getting along, isn't that right, dear Captain?"

"True enough," I admitted. I nodded to Celaeno. "Captain."

She nodded back. "Captain."

As we walked back to our craft, I heard her say to her crew, "D'you see this, me scallywags? No more haulin' trash to a schedule! We're free birds again!" A ragged cheer went up. They seemed like a nice enough crew and I really hoped I wouldn't have to run them down someday.[3]

[3] It turns out they took up hunting slave ships, freeing the captives and selling the vessels, which was fine with me. (Incidentally, it's a good thing that I didn't know that Klugetown was a slave-trading port at the time, or I might just have let the flaming spire fall on it.)

We were quickly back aboard our own little crafts and in the air. I told Ket to hold her monstrous form until we were out of sight of the town, because I was sure it would make for better stories of the day.

Once we didn't have a couple dozen rubbery limbs to work around, I levitated Bookmark's painter out and made it fast to the tail of Rarity's ornithopter. We could make much better speed being towed than by our little propulsive fins alone.

We relaxed and rested as much as possible on the way back to Seaward Shoals. We spotted two ships in the far distance at the edge of the Bone Dry Desert, but they didn't alter course to intercept us, and we never got a clear identification.

We were nearing the edge of the juniper woodlands as the sun was sinking toward the horizon, and I decided to teleport ahead to make sure everything was ready for a swift departure. I'd also need to arrange for the return of Wepaten's ornithopter to the High Song, and I made a mental note to fully recharge the motive crystal first. I shucked off my coat before casting the spell,[4] but used a gem in one of the pockets to power the teleport. My personal reserves had recovered a little bit, but not enough for a long-range teleport.

[4] There were still too many magically charged items in the coat to safely enter interstitial space.

I appeared on Nebula's main deck right at the beginning of the second Dog Watch. Sherbet and Applejack were on the quarterdeck and Pinkie Pie was right behind me.

"Welcome back, Twilight!" she yelled. "Did you beat the bad guy?" I am happy to say that I only jumped a little bit. I turned and gave her a weary grin. I really wanted to say that yes, I'd impacted, impaled, and immolated the bad guy, but instead said, "I sure did, Pinkie! Did you bake me a cake?"

She gave an explosive giggle that ended in a snort. "Aww, you know me, Twilight! OF COURSE I BAKED YOU A CAKE!"

Applejack had come down to the waist by then. "Quick work there, Twi. Did you get the scroll from Cadance?"

Ao and Spike had come on deck by then, and after Spike had given me a hug, I explained everything to them. "I should send out some letters," I said. "Is Luna still here?"

"Regretfully, no Captain," Ao told me. "Her Divine Highness received a scroll from Princess Cadenza as well, and departed soon thereafter. She did, however, leave a note for you, and this one placed it on the shelf in your sleeping cabin."

"Thank you Ao," I said. "Captain Calvados, how soon can Nebula be ready to depart? It looks like we're urgently needed up north."

"We're flushin'' sand outta the ballast tanks, an' fillin' 'em with water." She pointed over the larboard rail where a long hose dangled from a through-hull to four ponies on a rocker pump on the ground. "I figured we'd best rig for the least amount o' drag, so the main yard is struck, an' Hawser is strikin' the topgallant mast right now. All the staysails are gettin' a nice tight harbor furl to 'em, too. Should take another couple o' hours an' then all we gotta do is haul anchors and ring up the engines."

"Good work, AJ! I couldn't have done better, myself."

"Thanks, Twi." She grinned and took a look around at the bustling crew. " Well, I reckon I oughtta transfer command back t'you, since—"

"No, you take her up," I interrupted. "I need a good long while to sleep and recuperate, and it should be routine until we get north of Canterlot. I may have to teleport ahead by then, depending on the situation."

"Whatever you say, Twi."

I went below and settled in behind the big table in my cabin. The first thing I did was to read Luna's note.

Dearest Twilight,

I have received an urgent summons from Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and am departing for the Crystal Empire.

I know that you will quickly deal with the Storm King as he deserves and return to Nebula, only send word to me as soon as may be, so that I might rejoice in your victory.

I misdoubt the threat to be as dire as young Cadance supposes, but mayhaps I will be fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to strike a blow or two against the foes of Equestria. Come soon, so that we may do battle together!

All My Love,

Luna

Misdoubt, mayhaps… Oh, how I loved the way she wrote to me. Her command of Modern Equuish was perfect, and she only used archaic words and phrasing because she knew I enjoyed it as much as poetry. I often wished I could reciprocate, or compose poems for her, but I was hopeless at that sort of thing. Still, I did my best.

Dear Luna,

The King is dead
And I am fine.
I'm coming soon
To make you mine.

Hugs and Kisses,

-Twilight

I sat and stared at it for a long time, until Spike said, "Should I send that one?"

"Oh Sacred Stars, no!" I said, crumpling up the piece of paper and tossing it into the wastepaper basket. I quickly scribbled down a much more prosaic and much less embarrassing note. I still signed it "Hugs and Kisses," though.

I continued writing notes almost as fast as Spike could send them. Rainbow Dash ran one over to Javelin for me.

I left the door of the cabin open, and as I worked, several of the crew poked their heads in to welcome me back and congratulate me. About an hour later, Ao came in and informed me that Bookmark and the ornithopter had been sighted and would be arriving in a few minutes.

I went on deck to welcome them, and while I was there, Captain Quicksilver's gig arrived from Javelin. I pointed out the ornithopter to him and "relayed Princess Twilight's request" that it be returned to the High Song. Since there were far too many people to squeeze into the captain's cabin for dinner, we set up one big table aft of the mizzenmast for officers and their guests, and a much bigger one in the waist over the forward cargo hatch for the rest of the crew. Applejack ordered fifteen minute change-overs on the pumping crew, so that everyone could enjoy the meal and celebration.

As exhausted as I was, I still thoroughly enjoyed the dinner that did double duty as a planning and information session.

At first Captain Quicksilver was a bit confused about Applejack sitting at the head of the table, but when I explained the situation, he turned to AJ and asked, "This is your first command then, Captain Calvados?"

She nodded. "Sure is."

"Well then!" The Captain stood up and motioned to his Second Officer. "Ms. Song! We must wet the swab!"[5]

AJ gave me a "what's goin' on here?" glance and I gave her a reassuring little wave of the hoof.

She was further reassured when Ms. Thunder Song produced a bottle of Blackberry cordial, which was quickly poured out to everyone at the table for a toast.

We all stood as Quicksilver raised his glass and solemnly intoned, "To Calvados, Captain of Nebula. May the weight of command be light across her withers and may she always have fair skies and a clear course to steer!"

We all drank up and then cheered, whistled, and pounded the table. Incidentally, Applejack has a very pretty blush.

[5] In the Royal Navy and Aeronautical Service, when a pony is given the position of a ship's captain but doesn't hold the rank of captain, she is given a single epaulet to wear on the left shoulder of her uniform jacket. The dangling little tassels look sort of like the yarns of a mop, so drinking a toast to the new captain's command became known as "wetting the swab." The fact that AJ was a privateer/merchantpony and had neither epaulet nor uniform to put it on, was not going to stop the juggernaut of tradition.

I told the story (slightly edited) of the Storm King's demise and heaped praise on Mr. Ralf for the excellent job he'd done on the trick hobbles and horn sheath. Ket and Tempest came in for their fair share of accolades, and they each had their own bits to add to the tale. We had to connive at the fiction that Princess Twilight had gone north with Princess Luna, and that seemed to satisfy the Javelins.

Even though I knew we would be served cake for dessert, it took me by surprise when I saw it. Pinkie is an incredible artist with anything even remotely related to food, and she had outdone herself with the huge cake sculpture she presented to us. I had a moment of confused emotions before I burst out laughing.

Then, I used one of my short blades to cut and serve slices from the near-perfect replica of the Storm King's head.

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Author's Note

Pinkie would never forgive me if I didn't allow you a peek at her masterpiece, so...
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The Storm Drain's head on a plate.