Chapter 14: To be Only a Part

Chapter 14

To be Only a Part

Weeks later, Princess Celestia stood alone in a crystalline cave, far below Canterlot Castle, staring at the Aethervox. It rested on a small pedestal which had formerly sat in a little-used vestibule of the castle, and had been home to a bust of herself for which she had never particularly cared. The golden heart throbbed rhythmically, emitting a low, gentle thump with each contraction, and its glow reflected and refracted in every imaginable way in the small chamber of this crystal cavern.

“I can't help but wonder from whom this heart was cut,” she said to no one but herself, “and how.”

She stared at it for awhile longer, thinking over the story she had been told of its recovery.

“I suppose the price has been paid for that bloodshed, but I still feel somehow profane in seeking to use a thing born of such darkness.”

“Then leave it to me,” came her sister's voice from behind her. “The dark and the profane are two areas of my utmost expertise, after all.” Luna stepped up beside Celestia and examined the glowing ball of throbbing, golden muscle.

“Oh, no,” Celestia said, shaking her head. “Nopony does anything with this thing until we're sure of how to make it do what we want, even if it takes a thousand years for us to understand how to make that happen.”

“Relax,” said Luna. “I'm only joking, and nopony knows it's here. We can feel free to poke, prod, and experiment to our hearts' content until we figure out the magic words.”

“Magic words?” Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“Still joking,” said Luna, “but we could always try 'please.'”

At this, Celestia snickered. “What time is it, anyway,” she said.

“Four in the afternoon,” Luna replied. “I just woke up.”

Celestia then noticed a faint glow at the tip of Luna's horn, and a steaming cup of coffee levitating near her head.. It moved in front of Luna's face, then tipped upward, allowing her to take a sip.

Celestia sighed. “Sleep well?”

“No,” Luna growled.

Celestia snorted. “We're both going to go insane if we don't figure out how this thing works.”

“Oh, you might,” said Luna, an edge of wicked humor in her voice. “I'm used to nightmares.”

“So,” said Celestia, “what do we try first?”

“Well, Twilight Sparkle said magic didn't affect it, right?”

“Right.” Celestia sucked air through her teeth as she thought. “It must be activated by some mundane means.”

Luna took another sip of coffee. “Seriously... Have you tried talking to it?”

Celestia huffed in exasperation. “Would you just stop suggesting that?” She rolled her eyes and looked at Luna. “What would I even say?”

“I don't know.” Luna crossed her eyes and blabbered like a clown as she continued speaking. “Oh, mysterious Aethervox, heart of a slain god, cast my voice unto the heavens that I may...” The heart began to beat rapidly, glowing noticeably brighter as it did so, and Luna immediately stopped speaking. The Aethervox quickly settled back to its previous state.

Celestia blinked at the glowing artifact.

“Hmm.”

* * *

Applejack and Pinkie Pie were laying in the castle garden, watching the sunset.

“This has been a long, weird trip,” said Applejack.

“You want to go find a bar?” Pinkie Pie's suggestion seemed unusually half-hearted, but not glum.

“Nah.”

“Yeah, me neither. I'm actually enjoying the quiet, for once, as crazy as things have been.”

“I do have a bottle of firewater, though,” said Applejack, reaching under her hat to produce a small bottle of bourbon she had apparently procured at some point earlier in the day.

“How do you keep that up there, anyway?” asked Pinkie Pie.

“Pinkie, I seen you pull a goddamned cannon out of your ass before, and you're asking me how I hide a bottle of whiskey under my hat?” Applejack turned to Pinkie Pie, who had somehow produced a pair of liquor glasses from out of nowhere. “See what I mean?” She poured some whiskey into each glass, and slipped the bottle back under her hat.

“Point taken,” said Pinkie.

Rarity's voice startled both of the earth ponies. “You know, if the sun hasn't completely set, it's still technically day drinking.”

Applejack and Pinkie turned to see Rarity wearing a yellow, floral-pattern dress with a matching hat.

“That's new,” said Pinkie, as she raised her glass to her lips. She coughed twice as it came away, and cleared her throat.

“Well, I don't get to come to Canterlot every day, you know.” Rarity's voice held its customary, haughty edge. “No reason to miss the opportunity to do some shopping.”

“Long as you don't make me go with you,” said Applejack, sipping her bourbon.

“Darling, you look absolutely ravishing in a nice evening dress, and you know it.” Rarity, batted her eyes and grinned at Applejack as she daintily placed herself on the grass beside her.

Applejack chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I do. Whiskey?” She offered Rarity her glass.

“Oh thank you.” The unicorn took a swig, and her face scrunched up into an expression of pure rancor. “How do you drink this awful stuff?”

Applejack smirked. “I think about shopping.”

The rustling of hooves in the grass turned the trio's eyes rearward, and they saw Twilight and Fluttershy moving to join them.

“Hey, gang!” Twilight's voice sounded more cheerful than it had since before they had first arrived in Canterlot months ago.

“Howdy,” said Applejack. “Where's RD?”

“There's a Wonderbolts derby,” said Fluttershy. “Where do you think she is?”

“On the front row,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Yep,” said Twilight, “and Spike's right beside her. I hope. She said she'd keep him out of trouble, but...”

“Ah-ah,” said Applejack. She drained the last of the whiskey, then removed the bottle once again from her hat. She refilled the glass as she spoke. “If you're gonna worry, do me a favor and go do it somewhere else. This just ain't the time or the place.”

She put the bottle away, and looked at Pinkie Pie. “Ain't it something else? Twi's got the Archives, Rarity's got the boutiques, Fluttershy's got the garden here, and Rainbow Dash is at a Wonderbolts show. You and me better find some way to have a good time, Pinkie, or this whole thing's just a bunch of bad dreams, cold weather, long walks, and dead cities.” She took a sip. “And let's not forget being ripped to shreds and having to be put back together.” She drank again. “That was somethin' special in its own right.”

“Are you not having a good time, Applejack?” Pinkie Pie asked teasingly. “I am.”

“I got to put some hoof into Nightmare Moon, I got a long vacation from the farm, and I seen things ain't nopony else ever seen,” replied the orange pony, taking a sip of her liquor. “I reckon I am having a good time.” She sighed. “But it'll be applebuck season soon, and they'll need me back home.”

“I guess we can all go home whenever we want,” said Twilight. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna said they'd take care of the situation from here. There's no use in us staying here and worrying ourselves sick.”

“I like Canterlot,” said Fluttershy. “but it's been so long... I'm ready to go home, too. I really miss Angel Bunny and all the other animals. Not to mention all my pony friends, of course.”

“Yeah,” said Twilight. “I miss everypony back home, too.” She smiled.

"Home... It seems so natural to call Ponyville home, now."

Just then, the sun finally sank beneath the horizon. Pinkie Pie jumped up excitedly, and turned around.

“Let's watch Princess Luna raise the moon!”

All the ponies turned, and as if on cue, the moon rose into the sky, Princess Luna silhouetted against its silver form. She must have noticed the group, because she immediately flew in their direction.

“Hey, here she comes!” Pinkie Pie hopped up and down as she heralded the Princess' approach.

Luna dropped in front of the group, and dusted herself off.

“You know, I don't actually have to do it that way. I just like to remind all the little foals that I'm out there. You should see how they run and hide if I go out in the daytime. It's adorable.”

“Well, you are kinda scary when you're mad,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Then don't make me mad.” Luna smiled. “We think we figured out how the Aethervox works.”

“Wow! How did you figure it out so fast?” asked Twilight.

Luna scratched the back of her neck with her forehoof. “Lucky break... Anyway, we've decided that there's no point in putting off the inevitable. We're going to use it tonight.”

“Aw, hell,” said Applejack, draining the last of her whiskey.

“What are you going to do,” asked Twilight.

“We're simply going to try and ask Cenasolus why he, she, or it does the things he, she, or it does. We must know this in order to understand how we can either placate or defeat this being.”

“And if it won't speak to us?” Twilight held her breath.

“We use the Aethervox as a channel through which to unleash every ounce of magical energy we can muster against it. All of Celestia's power, mine, the Elements of Harmony, and the magic of every powerful unicorn in Canterlot. We've already sent for them all.”

“Where is this going to happen?” asked Twilight.

Luna looked around. “Well, here. Right here in Canterlot, I mean; not here, specficially. We considered doing it elsewhere, but we have to think about the whole world, here – not just Canterlot. The caverns beneath the palace are some of the deepest in Equestria. Hopefully, they will shield the planet from whatever... catastrophe... our actions may release.'

“As for all of you, Celestia is waiting in Canterlot Tower. Go get the elements and meet back here as quickly as you can. She and I will lead you to where we have the Aethervox hidden. We mean to get started within the hour.”

“Aw, double hell,” said Applejack, producing once more her bottle of whiskey, and this time taking a pull directly from its spout.

At that moment Rainbow Dash landed amidst the group. She was wearing a Spitfire T-shirt with Spitfire's signature scrawled onto it near the image of her face. Spike was seated on her back, and was holding a tiny figurine of some member of the Wonderbolts. Rainbow Dash was beaming, as was to be expected.

“You guys! It was amazing,” she said. There were a couple of seconds of awkward silence. “Why does everypony look so... nervous?”

* * *

The descent into the crystal caverns took less time than the ponies had expected. Apparently, Celestia had gone to a great deal of trouble and expense to have a large, complex system of elevators and bridges installed since the caverns were rediscovered.

Now, every single pony stood in a wide circle around the Aethervox. All were weak-kneed and sweaty, with one notable exception: Applejack's whiskey buzz – if it could indeed still be considered merely a “buzz” -- had her completely relaxed.

In addition to Twilight and her friends, Shining Armor and Cadance were both present, along with half a dozen unicorns of various ages, several of whom had been among Twilight's instructors in her advanced classes.

Princess Celestia stepped into the center of the circle, and began to slowly pace around its inner circumference as she addressed the group.

“We do not know what will happen when speak to this being. Many of you have only just today even been made aware of its existence and of the threat which it poses. After some deliberation, Luna and I have decided that the only right course of action is to confront it directly, as we would any potential foe, in an effort to seek a peaceful solution. Failing that, we mean to unleash upon it all the mightiest magic we have in our arsenal – in other words, all of you. Should that become necessary, hold nothing back.

“We believe that we can reach Cenasolus through the Aethervox because his attentions are already fixed on our world. Under normal circumstances, the Aethervox does not respond to magical stimulation, but we feel that this is most likely because it is redirecting it to a distant point in the cosmos, once occupied by whatever being it was last used to reach. In other words, if you cast your spells at the Aethervox, they should hit Cenasolus, assuming we have successfully managed to contact it, but such measures should not be necessary. It is our belief that we should be able to solve this diplomatically.”

Luna snorted a laugh. “Our belief or your hope? The last time I saw you try diplomacy, you were trying it on me. I seem to recall that it didn't go... swimmingly.”

Several ponies standing in the circle snickered, and Celestia sighed heavily.

“There is a notable difference, here, sister,” said Celestia, cuttingly “in that I have no particular qualms about responding in kind should this enemy attempt to destroy me. With you, circumstances were... muddled. Still, I am confident a bloodless solution can be found.”

“Right, right,” said Luna. “In other words, everypony point your horns at the big, gold heart, focus carefully, and get ready to unleash holy hell.”

Celestia slapped her face with a hoof. “You just can't resist, can you?”

“Can," grinned Luna. "Don't want to.”

Applejack raised a hoof.

“Yes, Applejack,” said Celestia.

“What if you ain't... ya know... got a horn?”

Celestia glanced left and right, and pursed her lips in thought. “You know what? Just watch, and be ready.”

“Can do,” said Applejack.

“Now, Luna,” said Celestia, “would you like to blabber at it like a nincompoop, again, or should I be the one to address the ageless god of entropy?”

Several ponies blinked and cocked their heads in confusion.

“Oh, you get this one, sister,” said Luna. “You love to hear yourself talk.”

Celestia let out a low, irritable huff.

Luna smiled. “You know I love you, right?”

“I know,” said Celestia. “Believe me, I know.” She turned to the Aethervox.

As she spoke, the heart began to throb rapidly and loudly, and to glow more and more brightly. “Oh, mysterious Aethervox, heart of a slain god, cast my voice unto the heavens that I may address the one who seeks the life of this world, by whatever name that power may be known to itself.”

The response was immediate, and everypony there heard it. It was not thunderously loud. It was not demonic or horrifying. It was simply a voice, androgynous and dispassionate. It spoke in the strange language that had marked Rarity's episode in the castle, but somehow, the ponies' minds all perceived the words as if they were spoken in their own tongue.

“Name? I do not understand this word.”

Celestia paused for a moment, and everypony tensed in anticipation of what would happen. Finally, she spoke again.

“A name is what you are called by others.”

“Then should it not be given to me by others, as well?”

“Very well,” said Celestia. “We have called you Cenasolus. It is a word my father created to name you, before you consumed his soul. It means 'Sun Eater.'”
“Then as Cenasolus shall I be known by others, though others I have not known.”

Celestia's voice took on mild confusion as she spoke to the voice emitting from the glowing, throbbing heart. “I don't think I understand you.”

“All that there is becomes me, so that I know only myself. Indeed, I am unsure of what... you... are. That is the word when one speaks to another, is it not? 'You?'”

Celestia's mouth hung slightly open. “Do you mean to tell me that we are the first other beings you have known?”

“Yes,” responded the voice. “All that I consume is in me, but I do not know it or have communion with it, for there is no need to commune with that which is in myself. That is why I consume.”

“But you consumed our father,” said Celestia. “My sister's and mine! He gave himself up to you to save us from your hunger! Surely you must remember him!”

“I remember no other. I remember nothing. I do not distinguish between... others. There is only all that is not me, and all that is me, and all that is not me must become me, so that all may be known to me. As you have said, you yourselves are the first 'others' I have ever known. How is it that you have come to have communion with me in this way?”

“It is...” Celestia paused for several moments. “Through a power that we ourselves do not understand.” She paused again, but the voice did not respond. Finally, she spoke once more.

“Do you mean to tell me, that you have known nothing but yourself for all of time?”

“For all of time and for all of many times before this time.”

“Times before this time? What do you mean?” asked Celestia.

“Many times have I consumed. All becomes me, then I become it, then it becomes me, again. I know nothing else.”

Now, Luna spoke up, “How... many times has this happened?”

“Many more than many.”

“What is the number?” Luna asked insistently.

“There is no number.”

“You have been alone...” Luna paused. “I mean, without others... forever?”

“I have been as I am.”

“Is this why you consume?” asked Celestia.

“As I have said, I consume because I must be one.”

“What can it mean to you to be one," asked Luna, "if there are no others?”

“It is to be me, the one you call Cenasolus.”

Neither Celestia, Luna, nor anypony in the circle could think of a way to respond to this. After several seconds, the voice spoke again, and strangely there seemed to be a tremor in it, as of one resisting the urge to weep.

“But now that I know there are others, I feel... strange.”

Celestia responded, “Strange in what way?”

“I do not know this feeling. I cannot explain it.”

Once again, all in the circle fell silent. After some time, Luna spoke.

“You... are lonely?” asked Luna.

“What is this word?”

“It means what you have said," Celestia replied. "That you know that you are alone."

"And," added Luna, after a moment, "that you do not want to be alone."

“No,” said the voice, and here it paused for a moment before continuing. “I do not want to be alone.”

Twilight Sparkle suddenly spoke. “Well, you're not alone, now. You're here with us, aren't you?”

“I am not there with you. I am where I have always been, within a great gulf born of myself. I do not understand how it is that you have come to speak to me, for within this gulf have I ever been one... I have ever been... alone.”

Fluttershy stepped forward, her jaw slightly agape, and spoke, her words stunningly calm.

“That's horrible.”

“What is this word, 'horrible?'” asked the voice.

“Horrible? Horrible is...” Fluttershy struggled for a way to define the word. “It's horrible to be alone forever. It's horrible to never know anyone or anything but yourself, even if you know exactly who you are. No. That makes it worse, I think, because that would only make you feel more lonely. It's horrible to be lonely. It's horrible to never have a friend.”

There was a long silence. The aethervox continued to glow and thump. Finally, the voice returned, once more.

“What is a 'friend?'”

Twilight Sparkle took off the tiara that bore the element of magic. Then, she stepped forward into the circle.

“A friend is another... with whom you are also one.”

“How is this possible, to be one, and to be another?”

Twilight Sparkle bit her lower lip, then spoke carefully, choosing her words with slow, meticulous consideration. “I don't have an answer for that question, but if you want to find one, I promise I will help you search for it.”

“So will I,” said Pinkie Pie.

“And me,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Me too,” said Rarity.

“I'm right there with you,” said Applejack.

“And I'll help you, too,” said Fluttershy.

“And so will we,” said Celestia, nodding to Luna, who also nodded in agreement.

“All of us will,” said Cadance, gesturing to the circle.

The voice spoke again, this time in a whisper. “Then may all be one if it will be one, but I will be only a part of it.”

The Aethervox glowed brightly, and the heart within the iron bands began to shrink, glowing ever more brightly as it did so. The iron bands, now far too large to confine the heart, fell away from it, and clanged to the ground. Every single pony, even Celestia, was compelled to look away as the light grew more and more intense, flickering and coruscating over the crystalline chamber so that its wild intensity seemed to consume everything in sight. At last there was a great flash, totally absent of heat, and the room went almost totally dark, devoid now of the Aethervox' light.

Several small lights began to glow around the chamber, each one at the tip of some unicorn's horn. Finally, a significantly larger and more powerful one, cast by Princess Celestia, shone outward from the tip of her horn then levitated upward from it, casting a warm glow over the room.

Then, the big, white alicorn saw something that compelled her to use a word she rarely spoke.

“Wow.” It was barely a whisper.

Upon the pedestal, curled up inside one of the iron bands, there lay a tiny, gold-colored earth pony foal. Upset by the light, it began to bawl like any newborn. Celestia stepped up and gently touched the tiny pony's head with the side of her hoof. It seemed to be calmed by her touch, and fell almost immediately to sleep.

Luna stepped forward to stand beside her sister, and examined the foal. There was a hint of awe in her voice as she spoke.

“Is this... Cenasolus?”

“No,” whispered Celestia. “Well, yes, I think," she said more loudly, "but that's a terrible name. I think we should call him something else.”

Fluttershy stepped up to the pedestal where the sleeping foal lay, and gazed at the tiny pony with a mixture of feelings so complicated that she could not even begin to understand them.

“Shimmershine,” she said. “That's a good name for a colt, isn't it?”

Twilight Sparkle joined her in looking at the foal, and placed a hoof on her shoulder.

“I think it is, Fluttershy.” She looked up at Princess Celestia. “Princess?”

“You know,” said the white alicorn, “I think that's perfect.”

Rainbow Dash was next to approach the sleeping infant.

“Why an earth pony?” she asked.

“Why not?” asked Applejack, mildly perturbed.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Fair enough.”

Pinkie Pie jumped into the middle of the group, and made a time-out signal with her hooves.

“Okay, everypony, we need somepony to get this kid somewhere safe, soft, and warm, preferably with a bottle, right now.”

“Pinkie Pie, how... strangely appropriate of you,” said Twilight Sparkle. “You're exactly right.”

“Of course I'm right,” said Pinkie Pie. “As long as he's here, we can't have a party!”

* * *

Celestia sat in the castle infirmary, staring at the sleeping foal that Fluttershy had named Shimmershine. He lay in a tiny crib that had been hastily procured from storage. Celestia had meant to give it as a gift to Shining Armor and Cadance, some day. A mobile made in a model of the solar system hung above it, and Celestia was slowly spinning it by way of her telekinesis. When she released it, It began to slowly rotate in the opposite direction, and a music box inside its base played a bittersweet, lilting tune. Celestia recognized it as the same lullaby her parents had sung to her and Luna the night their father had died.

Strange, the things that endured the ages.

In the morning, she would see to finding Shimmershine appropriate adoptive parents who would allow her to keep a close watch on him, but for the time being this was the best, safest place he could be. There was a nurse there as well, an orange unicorn mare who slept nearby on a cot. She was charged with taking care of anything the foal should he cry out in the night, and Celestia had total confidence in her ability. All the same, she couldn't bring herself to leave the room.

A shadow still loomed in her mind and heart.

“There you are,” came Luna's voice. “You're missing a fantastic party. That Pinkie Pie has a real talent for debauchery.”

“Trust me,” chuckled Celestia, turning her head. “I know.”

“What are you doing here?” asked Luna. “The baby will be fine.”

Luna came and sat next to her sister, but Celestia didn't say a word.

“What's troubling you?” Luna finally asked.

Celestia smiled and dropped her head. Her sister could always tell when something weighed heavy on her.

“Luna, the Aethervox was the heart of a murdered god. It could grant anypony the ability to speak to beings of terrible, terrible power...” Celestia's words trailed off.

“And that heart beats inside Shimmershine's tiny chest,” said Luna, affirmatively.

“Exactly,” replied Celestia. “So you've thought of that, too, I see? When did you grow up?”

“Somewhere between trying to kill you, trying to kill myself, having myself try to kill me, and then deciding to not kill myself in return. Weren't you paying attention?”

“Off and on,” whispered Celestia.

“I've thought of many other things, too,” said Luna. “What if he's immortal? What if he somehow remembers who and what he is, one day? What if others find out what he is, and come after him meaning to misuse whatever power he may or may not have?”

Celestia lifted her head. “What if he doesn't remember who or what he is?” she asked. “What if he does have some terrible power, and is unable to control it? What if he speaks into the heavens and calls down upon our world a horror greater even than the thing he once was?”

“What if he grows up to be an ordinary earth pony, and lives happily ever after?” asked Luna.

“Now there,” said Celestia, “is a question I had not even considered.” She looked down at the sleeping colt. A tired little smile spread across her lips, and a tear rolled off her cheek.

Luna wanted to hug her sister; to tell her that everything would be alright. She wanted to lay her face alongside Celestia's, and let her sister feel the tickle of her own fur on her cheek the way she'd so often done when they were fillies.

But they were not fillies, and those days were in a long distant past. They had been that kind of family once, but they were not longer. They could not be again.

“Come with me,” Luna finally said, her voice calm and low. “You're missing the party.”

With that, she turned, and walked through the door, leaving it open behind her.

Celestia took one last look at the sleeping foal.

"Ever after is such a long time," she said.

Then, she stood, and followed her sister out the door, shutting it gently behind her.

finem

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed this alternate take on Equestria.

For a deeper look into this continuity, check out the six one-shots that focus on the mane six of this continuity:

"Well and Good"
"Be Like You"
"What Pinkie Wants"
"Love and Unicorns"
"Let the Wind Lie Still"
"Benzedrine and Broken Dreams."

There is also a Sequel, "Ghosts of Gods," which I consider to be an even better book than this one, though it was rather poorly received.

Whether you delve any deeper into this continuity or any of my other stories, thanks for reading "The Sun Eater."

Mannulus