Chapter 9: Tales Best Forgotten

Chapter 9

Tales Best Forgotten

The next morning, Celestia rose out of bed, and walked to her balcony to raise the sun. Her dreams had been unpleasant these last several nights, but at least now she could awaken from them. As the sun rose into the sky, she became aware of a silhouette in the garden below. It was Fluttershy. The pegasus lay next to the pond, watching a mother duck sleeping with her ducklings tucked in close around her in their nest.

“Fluttershy?” Celestia called out, and the pegasus snapped out of her reverie.

The Princess spread her wings and hopped over the railing of her balcony, then glided down next to the little pony. Fluttershy seemed a little surprised to see the princess devoid of all her royal regalia, and with an obvious case of bedmane.

Celestia bent down and looked at the yellow pegasus. “What are you doing up at dawn? Did you sleep?”

“Yes," said Fluttershy, contorting her lips oddly. "Well, some. That is to say I couldn't sleep very well, so I got up and came out here.”

“Why couldn't you sleep? You aren't having nightmares are you?” There was a touch of concern in Celestia's voice.

“Well, yes, but not like yours, I think. These are different. They're all about the forest I saw when we went into the dream world to find you. I haven't been able to get it off my mind.”

“Tell me about it,” said the princess, Lying down next to the little pony, head erect.

“There's not much to tell, really. It was just a dead forest that seemed to go on forever. Sometimes, I could hear a voice in the wind. Sometimes it was crying, but sometimes it would say things about not having a future.”

“I see,” Celestia sighed. “I actually do see some things like that in my dreams, right now.”

“I guess what bothers me so much is when I think about things like these little ducklings.” She nodded towards the ducks. They were waking up now, and beginning to stretch their wings and waddle about the nest.

“Also, when I think about things like... Well, what if... What if Shining Armor and Cadance had a foal? What if... I...” She stopped for a moment, then continued.

“This world is supposed to go on. It's supposed to repeat itself in a cycle, the same way that you and Princess Luna raise the sun and the moon every morning and evening.” She paused, and bit her lip for a second, searching for what she wanted to say next.

Finally, she spoke again. “You know, when I was a filly, I wasn't a very good flyer, but I did finally learn. Scootaloo – you remember her. Well, She can barely fly at all, yet. She's supposed to learn how, one day, just like I did.”

“I'm sure she will,” said Celestia, trying to sound reassuring.

“Oh, I know she will. She's very determined. Also, she idolizes Rainbow Dash, so you know she wants to be a good flyer. That's not what worries me, though.” Fluttershy gnawed on her lower lip again, a bit longer, this time.

“If we stop Cenasolus, he'll just come back, won't he?”

“Probably,” Celestia said solemnly. “He did once before. I don't think you can ever truly destroy a thing like whatever Cenasolus is.”

“Princess, what has all this been for, then? Those little ducklings there, all those times you raised the sun, all the things that everypony has struggled to learn and overcome since the beginning of the world; what will all that mean if the world is just... consumed, one day? Even if it's long after I'm... gone, it will mean that nothing I or anypony else ever did really meant anything. No one will even be left to remember that we ever lived.” Fluttershy's eyes teared up, and her voice cracked as she spoke.

“Fluttershy,” said the Princess, hooking a wing over the little pony, “not even I can say how long the world will endure, but I can say this much: forever is a long, long time. One day, something -- whether it's the sun burning out in its old age, or even something horrible like Cenasolus – something will bring this world of ours to an end.”

The Princess felt the little pony's muscles tighten under her big, white wing, and Fluttershy buried her face in her neck. Celestia could feel the moisture of Fluttershy's tears soaking into her fur.

“I don't want the world to end, Princess.”

“Nopony does, Fluttershy, but knowing that it will is no reason for you to despair. Your life can still be full of joy and hope. You still have your friends, your family, and your future. You can still laugh, sing, and love whomever you choose, and in a way, it makes those things more wonderful because they are limited by the time you have to enjoy them.”

“But it just makes me feel desperate; like there's so much I have to do.”

“Good,” said Celestia.

“Huh?” Fluttershy looked up at the white horse's face.

“That's one of the best ways to live, as long as you don't let your fear of death rule your actions. Death is not something to hope for or to fear. Do you understand me?”

“I think so,” said Fluttershy, "but does that mean you're ready to die, Princess? Now? Like this?”

“Of course not,” said Celestia, her eyes hardening. “I want to find a way to stop Cenasolus for my own sake and for Luna's and for the sake of the world." The big alicorn drew a deep breath, and her teeth clenched for the briefest moment. "I mean to live, Fluttershy. Just because the world's going to end one day doesn't make it okay for us to just let it happen, and just because our lives are going to end doesn't make it okay for us to just let that happen, either. Never forget that, Fluttershy.”

“I won't,” she said, nestling into Celestia's side, again. After a moment, the little pegasus giggled.

“What's so funny?” Celestia asked her, a hint of a laugh in her own voice.

“This reminds me of cuddling with my mom when I was little,” said Fluttershy.

“You're still little,” said Celestia.

And very quietly, the Princess laughed.

Just a little pony, she thought, like so many I've known, and yet unlike any one of them, exactly. So precious, these, my little ponies..

* * *

Princess Celestia, now properly crowned, groomed, and adorned as befitted her station, stuck her head through the door of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash's room. They were both still sound asleep. Pinkie Pie had somehow found a way to get herself completely sideways across her bed, and Rainbow Dash lay on her belly, tongue hanging out, snoring loudly. “Have either of you seen Twilight Sparkle?”

Neither pony stirred, and Celestia cleared her throat. There was still no response.

Applejack's voice and hooves echoed up the hallway. “If'n you wanna get those two outta bed this early, you're gonna need some incentive.”

The orange earth pony nudged the door open with her head, and chuckled at the sight. “Hey, Pinkie! We got cinnamon rolls for breakfast again!”

Celestia looked at Applejack, and raised an eyebrow. Turning her head back to the room, she felt her heart skip a beat as she saw the pink earth pony, now fully awake and standing so close she could have kissed her.

“WHOA!” She backpedaled slightly. “Don't ever do that!”

“So, when can I expect those cinnamon rolls to be ready?” asked Pinkie Pie.

“Right after you go get Twilight from the Archives,” said Celestia, “which is where I'm assuming she is, since I already sent for her at her parents' house. She wasn't there, so...”

“Oh, that's definitely where she is,” said Applejack. I saw her and Spike headed in there when I was out for my morning walk.”

“Ah,” said Celestia. “So, how do we get Rainbow Dash up?”

“Got a wonderbolt?” asked Applejack.

“Not on me,” said Celestia.

“Then you're shit outta luck,” said Applejack.

“Well, would you two please let her know, whenever she does finally get up, that since their last show was interrupted, the Wonderbolts rescheduled, and there will be another HOLY SHIT!”

Rainbow Dash was somehow standing right next to Pinkie Pie.

“You called?”

“You girls will be the death of me,” said Celestia. “Now that Luna is feeling better, our personal physician is available for you to all have your wounds checked. He's the best in all of Equestria. I want him to make sure you're all sound enough for physical exertion. Go downstairs and find his office. The guards can tell you where it is.”

“You reckon that doctor could do anything about this hole in my gut? I keep coughing up blood every now and then, and I get a mighty fierce stomach ache every time I eat much at all.”

“Possibly,” said Celestia. “He knows healing spells that most unicorns don't even know exist. Luna has no further need of him, so I've asked him to tend to your various wounds. He's not a god, though. So, whatever he does, take it easy for awhile.”

“Will do,” said Applejack, glad at the thought of the nagging pain in her midriff possibly being extinguished, or at the very least lessened.

“Tell Rarity as well,” said Celestia. “I already sent Fluttershy to him earlier this morning, and Twilight yesterday.”

“I'll get it all sorted out,” said Applejack. “Anything else?”

“Yes,” Celestia said. “Meet me in the war room at noon. Twilight knows where to find it.”

* * *

Twilight Sparkle and Spike had been roaming the archives since dawn. If Twilight had a major flaw, it had always been an excess of curiosity, and the mere suspicion that there was another forbidden book hidden somewhere in this titanic gallery of knowledge was simply too tantalizing for her to resist.

She had tried the lower levels first, thinking that Princess Luna would favor their darkness for hiding such a thing, but it had been to no avail. Next she had searched the upper levels, assuming that Luna might have wanted to tuck it away as near as possible to the moon and stars she so adored. Again, she had been disappointed.

Now, at last, utterly devoid of ideas, she sat at the same reading desk she had occupied for the bulk of the previous week.

“Spike, I'm going crazy,” she said. “I just can't think of anywhere else to look. We couldn't even find it in the restricted areas. Maybe Celestia mentioned it to her, and she moved it. Maybe she didn't even hide it in the Archives.”

“Why do you want to see it so badly?” Spike's question provoked Twilight's first considerations to her own motive in this pursuit.

“I don't know,” she said. “I just... It may sound silly, Spike, but I want to be like them. I know I can't be Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, but I want to understand something about what it's like to be that old and that wise. Does that make sense?”

“Sort of,” said the dragon, “but have you ever considered that there may be a good reason Princess Luna hid it in the first place?”

“Spike, you're not saying anything I haven't thought of...” These words were a lie, and Twilight knew it. “There's just... something in me. There always has been, ever since that first time I saw Princess Celestia raise the sun.” Twilight sighed and looked down at the floor. Her heart stopped cold.

There, under a shortened leg of the very reading desk she had occupied for so many days, indeed at which she had studied countless nights in her youth, for this desk had always been her favorite, was a thick, dark purple book, with black leather binding on its spine and corners. She had seen it a thousand times, at least, but not once had she given it any consideration. To have been placed in such an inauspicious place it must certainly be a book of little consequence or worth, but now, by its coloration alone, she was certain of what she beheld, and it drove her eyelids so wide that they threatened to split at their corners.

She levitated it upward so quickly that the the old desk almost turned over. Spike noticed the imminent disaster, and quickly shoved a book from a nearby shelf under the desk's short leg.

Twilight plopped the purple tome down on the very desk that had served as its camouflage, and read the title: Lethe, a word which she knew from her study of ancient languages meant “forgetfulness.”

“Well, well, well!” Twilight rubbed her hooves together greedily, then telekinetically flopped the book open. Before she could read a single letter, it glowed deep blue-purple for a moment, then slammed shut.

“I wouldn't do that.” It was princess Luna's voice.

Twilight looked up to see her walking towards her from the direction of the door.

“I thought you might come looking for this wicked thing.” The book levitated upward and glided to tuck itself under Luna's wing. “I'm glad I got here in time. You're just the sort of pony that this book would bring to her utmost ruin.” Luna's voice conveyed more amusement than irritation.

“Dammit,” said Twilight. Spike chuckled at the flatness of her expletive.

"I don't know why Celestia didn't hide this thing better."

"Duh; thousand years, new capitol, new archives," Twilight thought.

“Trust me,” said Luna. “If there is one book in all the world you do not want to read, it is this one.”

Twilight sighed, exasperated. “Can you at least tell me what it's about? And maybe, just maybe why I shouldn't read it?”

“Certainly,” said Luna.

“Huh?” Twilight was astonished that Luna would so readily divulge the contents of something she was so desperate to keep her from reading.

“It tells you what happens to us all after we die.” Luna levitated the book to float in front of her face, and turned it over slowly, as if examining it for the first time.

“Wow.” Twilight's voice was saturated with genuine awe. “And you... You wrote this? How?”

“That, Twilight Sparkle,” said Luna, placing the book back under her wing, “I will never tell. Not you. Not Celestia. Not anypony. Ever. Understand?”

“Okay,” said Twilight, disappointed. “But why won't you let me read it? What would be so bad about it?”

“Twilight...” Luna's pause lasted for several seconds. “Even though I wrote this book, I don't really know what it says. I vaguely remember that I penned it in my own blood, but that is all that I can tell you about what lies between its covers. Now, I have read it many times, mind you. Many, in fact, have read it, but in their own lifetimes, none of those unfortunate souls really ever knew what it said, either.'

“It is an unhallowed, accursed thing. Once one has begun to read it, that poor soul is compelled – damned, even -- to finish reading it. Nothing and no one can stop them from reading it through to the last word. If anypony tries to take the book from them or keep it from them in any way, they will pursue it madly until they have it again in their possession. Ponies have murdered their friends and family to retrieve this evil thing. Wars have been fought for it. Lives have been abandoned to ruin in quest of it. I do not want to see you set against your friends as a mortal enemy, and I am sure that is what would happen, because I've seen enough of them to know they would try to save you from it's power. And they. Would. Fail.”

Luna sneered slightly at the book, which still slowly rotated beside her.

“The most dastardly and terrible thing about this... creature, however, is that the reader forgets what they read within moments of finishing it. You learn your soul's ultimate fate, and then you have that knowledge snatched away from you. There is an immediate, powerful compulsion to read it again, but if you do, you of course forget once more what you have read. The greater one's curiosity, the greater the hold this deep, forbidden knowledge exerts over that individual. Ponies have read this book dozens of times, forgetting to eat or drink or even sleep, until finally each of them received the object of their curiosity – absolute, perfect knowledge of death – through the most direct means possible.'

"As I said, I myself have read it, and all that saved me from spending the rest of my life locked in its grip was the fact that I read it so many times that I just stopped giving the least dregs of a shit about what happens to my everlasting soul. I don't even care if I have one, anymore. I will live until I die, and that is enough for me. It took me more lifetimes than you have to live in order to come to that place, Twilight Sparkle, and I would suffer nopony else to walk so dark a path, even if they could survive the journey -- not even my worst enemy, and certainly not a friend."

She smiled at the little unicorn.

Twilight didn't speak, but stared at the ancient book, feeling a chill race down her spine.

“I see I've made my point.” Tucking the book back under her wing, Luna turned to leave, but as she did so, Twilight remembered something Celestia had said.

“Princess Luna, what happens if you try to destroy it?”

“It fights back,” said Luna, not even turning her head.