Nurture/Nature

by TwoTrenchcoats

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Slice of Life, Death, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Original Character
Length: 8566

It started with curiosity....

...and we all know what curiosity did to the cat

Published 2024-03-23 23:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-04-08 10:55:25 UTC

Letter 1

The following is one of several loose sheets of patchment that were found in the castle of Princess Twilight Sparkle. They were rolled up and neatly tied with red ribbons and hidden under a loose floorboard in what appears to be a guest bedroom.

It has been confirmed that the writing is that of the princess.

They have been arranged in chronological order (the pages are dated) and were sent to you as soon as their authenticity was confirmed.

The princess herself was nowhere to be found and neither was the young dragon believed to be living with her. There were no signs of a struggle and the door was left unlocked.

Please inform us how you would like to proceed.

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

I address this letter to you even though I know that you will never read it. I'm sure that if you did you would have me locked away, or perhaps banished to Tartarus, or the farthest reaches of Equestria.

Do you remember when I thought that before? When I didn't report to you what lesson I had learned about friendship and thought I would be punished for it? Banished, sent back to pony kindergarten. It's funny to look back on that moment now and think about how young and naive I was. I suppose I'm still young, especially compared to you, but I'm afraid my naiveté has been significantly eroded, if not scraped away completely. I pray that Luna keeps her distance from my dreams for fear she see just how far my mind has turned from the innocence I enjoyed just a few short years ago.

I should preface this with the reassurance that you need not feel any sort of responsibility for my actions. You have shown me nothing but love, kindness and acceptance. There was no flaw in your teachings, nothing that you could have done differently that would have resulted in a different outcome. I believe I would have chosen this path no matter what you did. Even if you found me out and tried to stop me I couldn't ignore the itching question that keeps spreading through my mind.

You have said that my curiosity is my greatest strength. It is also my greatest weakness.

The idea came to me gradually, over the course of several years. It began as a passing thought, an innocent 'what if' that I hardly payed attention to. But then it came up again, a little louder this time, and then again, and again, until it has developed into a wild, frantic obsession that I must see through to the end or else I fear I'll go mad.

Or perhaps I'm mad already. What sane pony would even consider what I'm about to do? What sane pony would take something so special and unique and tear it apart? What would I do if I found myself on the other side of my actions? I don't dare think about it.

This all sounds like I'm about to do something monstrous, but I won't be hurting anyone. I could never raise my hoof against an innocent pony. All I'm doing is conducting an, admittedly very complex, expirement. An experiment that will take years to see the results of.

But I'm patient. I've taken my time to make sure absolutely everything goes perfectly with as little chance for...major error as possible. I always loved to micromanage everything, just ask any of my friends, and this time it's for the best. I've checked, double, triple, and quadruple checked to make sure everything is perfect. I've made checklist after checklist. Spike was starting to notice that I was going through quills and parchment faster than usual, but telling him I was researching something (the truth) eased his suspicion.

I have my control group selected, which I will refer to from here on as Group Alpha. Group Alpha is made up of four pairs of test subjects, labeled Pair A, B, C, and D respectively. They are different races, different genders, from different backgrounds, live far apart from each other; as diverse a selection as I could find. I wanted more but it will be difficult enough to observe them on my own and subjects that fit my criteria are few and far between. Honestly, I'm lucky to have found so many.

Please understand, Princess--I am fully aware that what I am about to do is unethical and inequine. I am also fully aware of the consequences of my actions if I'm caught. I know that what I'm doing goes against everything you've taught me. I'm tearing families apart; betraying all that is close to me. It's selfish, unkind, dishonest, disloyal, and completely devoid of laughter.

But those are not my elements. I am the Element of Magic and there is a magical question that must be answered. A riddle that must be solved. An itch that must be scratched. I won't settle for anything else.

'My faithful student,' I hear you say, 'you could have asked. I would have happily told you all that you wish to know.'

That would be cheating. There's no satisfaction in being told the answer to a riddle you've spent hours struggling over. The satisfaction comes from figuring it out yourself. The rush of excitement when you finally see what was right in front of you all along.

I hope you can understand and somehow forgive me, but even as I write those words I know in my heart that you can't. I wouldn't if I were in your place.

How would I feel, I wonder, if a student of mine did what I am about to do? Would I be repulsed? Furious? The ever-so-dreaded disappointed? Probably. But I don't have a student.

My alarms are going off. It's time.

No going back now. This is the most difficult part of the experiment. But I'm ready.

***

I did it! Oh sweet Celestia I did it! I just slipped right in and did it, and no one saw me! I didn't even have to disguise myself or make myself invisible. I slipped in, did the deed, and slipped right back out without any fuss.

It makes sense. Even with our modern medicine, events like this are still an 'all hooves on deck' kind of situation. So many doctors and nurses running around and not a single one even glanced in my direction. Not even the presence of a princess is enough to distract them, it seems. Admirable, really, and extremely helpful for me.

I am exhausted though. So many telepartations and long term memory spells take a toll on a pony, even an Alicorn apparently.

I'll have to set aside some time to fully feel out the limits of my Alicorn abilities. But first, a hot shower and a nap is in order. Then all that's left to do is to sit back and watch the fruits of my labors start to grow. It will be a long time before I see any results, probably twelve or thirteen years, but I'm patient.

I'm patient.

Author's Note

Ahh! I'm so excited to get this down! Feedback is always appreciated and I hope you stick around for more of the story!

Diary Entries: April

((Note: Spelling and grammar corrections have been made for ease of reading.))

April 12th

Dear Diary,

Hi! My name is Apple Brandy and this is my very first diary ever!

Guess what? I'm seven years old today! Momma and Poppa let me eat whatever I wanted and then we went to a dress shop and I got to pick out a dress! It's white and sparkly like the dress Momma is wearing in the picture of when she and Poppa got married.

When we got home, Momma gave me this diary to write in every single day. She says it'll help me learn how to write better. But I think I already write really good, don't you, diary? I can hold the pencil with my mouth real good!

It tastes yucky though.

I gotta go now, but I have to tell you one more thing first! Poppa says he'll start teaching me how to buck apples tomorrow!

Bye for now!

April 13th

Dear Diary,

Hi again! I started practicing apple bucking with Poppa after school today and my legs are super tired. Who knew trees were so hard!

Poppa brought me to a little bitty tree in the orchard. Its trunk was only about as big around as my leg and it had one little apple in it. Poppa told me to practice until I got the apple to fall. It took a long time because he kept stopping me and saying I was standing wrong and would hurt myself.

Momma says that one day I'll be as big and strong as Poppa, but I think she's full of applesauce. Poppa is the biggest, strongest pony in the whole world. I'd rather be good at making sweets like Momma. Then I could eat cakes and pies all the time instead of waiting for Momma to make them.

I don't have a sparkly horn like Momma so I can't make sweets float like she does, but Auntie Applejack says she'll teach me how to cook yummy things when she's not so busy.

Auntie Applejack is always busy, though. Ever since Auntie Apple Bloom moved to Manehattan to go to a fancy school, it's mostly just Poppa and Auntie Applejack taking care of the farm.

Oh, right! I never told you, I live on a great big apple farm called Sweet Apple Acres! There's tons and tons of trees here that grow so many apples I can't count them all; and I can count all the way to a hundred! And Auntie Applejack says that sometimes the spooky trees in the back orchard grow rainbow apples called zap apples that are even yummier than regular apples. I've never seen them, though, so until I see them for myself I think Auntie is full of applesauce.

Every day, Poppa and Auntie go out and take care of all the trees. I don't know what they do out there, but they always come home all sweaty and stinky and dirty. Auntie Apple Bloom comes home to visit and help sometimes and so do other ponies from town, like Auntie Pinkie and Uncle Cheese.

Poppa and Auntie bring big barrels of apples home and Momma makes them into yummy sweets that she sells in her shop. She used to bring me with her all the time, but now I have to go to school so I can't go to the shop anymore.

I can't wait until I'm bigger and don't have to go to school anymore. Then I could help out on the farm too! Poppa and Auntie always look so tired all the time.

If I had a whole bunch of brothers and sisters we could help out lots!

April 14th

Dear Diary,

I told Momma and Poppa my idea of brothers and sisters to help on the farm and Momma looked really, really sad and Poppa told me to go outside and play. Did I say something bad?

April 15th

Dear Diary,

Momma and Poppa had a lot to say to me after I came in from playing. They were sitting at the table with really serious looks on their faces so I knew it was important and I tried to pay attention. I don't know what all the words they said meant, but I think something really bad happened when I was born.

I'll never have any brothers or sisters.

April 18th

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't written anything for a while, I've been really busy with school stuff. Oh! That reminds me! I've never told you anything about where I go to school!

There are two schools in Ponyville. I go to Ponyville School with all the little foals right now, but when I get bigger I'll go to Princess Twilight's Friendship School where Auntie Apple Bloom used to go! Ponyville School is okay though, and Miss Cheerilee is a really nice teacher. She was Auntie Apple Bloom's teacher too, I think.

I met Triple Axel at school and now he's my best friend ever! His Momma and Poppa moved here from "Fillydelphia" ((Note: the city name is an assumption on our part; the spelling was abysmal)). He's super strong and not afraid of anything, not even the gross, moldy cucumber that Laffy Taffy brought to show and tell yesterday. He's a pegasus pony and can almost pick me all the way up off the ground; he says he wants to get a job picking up heavy things when he grows up.

Do you think there are cutie marks for lifting stuff?

April 19th

((The ink in this entry was smudged with water spots))

Dear Diary,

I had a bad dream last night. I don't remember what it was about, but when I woke up I felt so sad I started to cry. Momma and Poppa came into my room to make me feel better, but I just cried and cried until I threw up in Momma's mane.

Poppa sat with me while Momma went to wash her mane. He said that nothing I dream about can hurt me so I don't need to be scared of nightmares. But I wasn't scared, I was sad. And lonely. Like when you're playing with friends and they have to go home and then the house feels really extra big and empty, and too quiet. Like there's something missing, something really important.

Are there ponies out there who feel like that all the time? Like there's a big hole in them and they can't find what needs to go there. And they don't even know what's supposed to go there anyway.

I miss my horn….

What? What does that mean? I-I don't have a horn. I've never had a horn…have I?

Diary Entries: June

June 5th

Dear Diary,

It's summer break now, Diary. Triple Axel comes over to play a lot. I showed him the little apple tree that Poppa gave me to practice my bucking. He said he doesn't understand why we don't just get pegasus ponies to pick the apples instead of bucking them. I tried to explain that Apple ponies just don't do that, but he didn't get it.

Posey Parade comes over sometimes too ((Note: the name has been circled several times in red ink)). She moved here with her poppa from Cloudsdale a few weeks ago. She's really nice, but I think she likes playing with Axel more than me. Maybe it's because they're both pegasus ponies.

Posey says she wants to be a princess when she grows up, but I don't think there are any cutie marks that make you a princess. Auntie Diamond Tiara's cutie mark is a crown and even she's not a princess. Auntie Apple Bloom says that your cutie mark is a symbol of the pony you are deep inside. ((Note: This sentence was circled several times in red ink and a note in the margin in Princess Twilight's writing read: 'According to current understanding'.))

I wonder who I am?

June 9th

Dear Diary,

Princess Twilight came to visit today! She's the princess of friendship and the prettiest, nicest pony in the whole world! She's a super hero too! She's saved the world a bunch of times! AND she's an Alicorn, so she has a sparkly horn and wings at the same time! She was sitting on the porch, drinking tea with Auntie Applejack and talking about boring grown-up stuff. But when she saw me she smiled and asked Auntie who I was.

"That there's Apple Brandy," Auntie said, "Big Mac and Sugar Belle's little one."

"Is that so?"

I stood up real straight and told her it was nice to meet her, just like Momma and Poppa taught me. Auntie looked happy and Princess Twilight smiled real big and said it was nice to meet me too. She asked me all about myself and was really interested in my friends ('cause she's the Princess of Friendship) and how I'm practicing my apple bucking with Poppa. Then she patted me on the head and told me I'm a 'very special filly' and Auntie told me to go play and let them talk. I noticed Princess Twilight watching me as I walked away, though.

Maybe she wants to make me her student when I'm bigger, just like Princess Celestia did with her! I'm not a unicorn though so she couldn't teach me any sparkly tricks. Do you think a regular old earth pony could be a student to a princess, Diary?

((Note: This entry has no date and has a different writing style than previous entries, clearly having been written by an adult.))

Keep the tree square behind you.

Keep your front hooves spread wide so you don't fall on your face.

Raise up your back legs, but be careful you don't twist your back (SUPER IMPORTANT!)

Bring your back hooves up and forward like you're gonna scratch both ears at the same time and then kick the tree as hard as you can.

Make sure you hit the tree with both hooves at the same time.

June 12th

Dear Diary,

Thanks for holding Poppa's notes for me! He wrote them down so I can look at them whenever I need to.

June 14th

Dear Diary,

I did it! I bucked the apple off the tree! I did everything Poppa told me and the apple fell out of the tree! It fell in the bucket and everything!

I was so excited I grabbed the bucket and ran all the way out into the orchard where Poppa and Auntie were working to show them.

"Well now, look at that!" Auntie said, "Looks like little Apple Brandy is growin' up quicker than a jackrabbit on a hot griddle, ain't she, Big Mac?"

Poppa just said 'eeyup', but I know he was happy because he smiled and his chest swelled up real big.

I brought my apple home to Momma and she showed me how to turn it into a little apple tart just for me! Momma cut up the apple 'cause I'm too little, but I got to put in the flour and sugar and cinnamon, and roll out the crust and put it in the pan. Momma even let me put in the apple slices and put it in the oven!

I told Axel and Posey about it and Posey was happy but Axel didn't seem very excited. He still thinks that pegasus ponies should pick all the apples, I think. He made a face when I told them about making my special apple tart too.

"I don't wanna hear about silly filly stuff!" he said, so I didn't talk about it anymore.

***

((Note: The following was written at the bottom of the page in red ink. The writing matches that of Twilight Sparkle.))

A shame they happened to meet so early in their development. Perhaps I should put them in a group of their own?

Pairs A, C, and D are progressing normally. Pair B will be categorized as an anomaly and observed more closely over the course of the next ((numbers ranging from 2 to 7 are written and scratched out)) until I have enough data. If their progress is irreparably affected I will scrap that pair entirely.

***

June 20th

Dear Diary,

I wish I could have brothers and sisters. I can't say that to Momma and Poppa 'cause they'll get sad again, but I can tell you, Diary. I love Momma and Poppa and Auntie, and I love playing with Axel and Posey too. But Axel and Posey can't be here all the time.

It was better when Auntie Apple Bloom was here. My bedroom didn't feel as big when she was here. I don't like seeing her empty bed in the corner. I don't like the empty bed in my room. There should be someone asleep there. Beds shouldn't be empty at night.

Maybe I could imagine myself a brother or sister? Miss Cheerilee says that our imagination can do even more than unicorn horn sparkles. Maybe if I imagine real hard I can have someone with me when my room feels all empty and big. I could imagine someone in the bed. Then it won't be sad anymore.

Should I imagine a brother or sister?

Definitely a sister, then I could talk to her about silly filly things all the time. We could bake sweets together and make pretty patterns out of apple slices on the tops of all the pies and special little apple tarts we would make.

And she would have a horn too! That way she could make the apple slices float and dance like Momma does and she wouldn't have to hold the knife in her mouth.

What would she look like?

I'll think about it tomorrow, I'm getting sleepy. Goodnight, Diary.

Author's Note

Another chapter up! I know I won't be able to keep this pace, but I hope you'll be patient with me. Any comments and feedback are appreciated!

Diary Entries: September

((Note: The following diary entries appear to be more recent than the first. The paper they are written on is newer and the writing is neater, with fewer spelling and grammar mistakes.))

September 3rd

Dear Diary,

The autumn apple harvest just started. It feels like we just finished the summer harvest and now we have to do it all over again. It was easier to help in the summer 'cause I didn't have school but now school's started again and I have to go to work as soon as I get home.

Poppa and Aunt Applejack go out into the orchard and bring in the apples, and then Momma and I turn them into delicious pies, cakes, fritters, and jam. Lots of jam. Most of them get turned into cider, but I'm not allowed to help with that part yet.

My hooves hurt and I think I'll have cinnamon stuck up my nose for the rest of my life but supper was extra tasty.

After supper Aunt Applejack told a story. I'm going to tell it to you so I can remember it.

*

Once upon a time there was a filly who lived in a tower. The tower stood above everything in the world, almost as tall as the clouds. When you looked out the window you could see the whole world stretched out in all directions like a huge patchwork blanket.

The filly who lived in the tower had everything she could ever want. Good food, a warm home, and all the toys that bits could buy. But she was lonely. She didn't want to just look at the world from a distance, she wanted to live in it. She wanted to make friends and try new things.

But the filly couldn't leave. Her mother locked the tower door everyday and kept her trapped inside. 'Everything you need is right here,' she said. And every night the filly would lay in her bed and look out at the world spread out like a patchwork blanket and cry and cry and cry over all that she would never see.

Then one day, when Mother was away, there was a knock at the tower window. A pegasus filly had flown all the way up to the top of the tower!

The filly in the tower stared and stared at the pegasus filly. She looked just like her! She let the pegasus filly in and asked her what she was doing there. The pegasus filly said she was a wild pony. She lived outside and had never set hoof in a building before.

'What a strange place,' she said, 'so warm and tidy, with so many books and chairs and a bed as soft as clouds and thistledown.'

'What is it like outside?' the filly in the tower asked.

So the pegasus filly told her. She told her about the rolling hills and waving fields of wheat. She told her about the way the birds sing and how the foxes bark. She said that the air smells like sweet spices and milk and honey flows in the rivers instead of water.

The filly in the tower offered pegasus filly to take her place in the tower. 'Just for one day!' she pleaded, 'If I can just have a taste of the outside world then I'll happily live in this tower with Mother for the rest of my life. You and I look just the same. If you wear this cloak to hide your wings, not even Mother could tell us apart. You will know a life inside and I will know a life outside.'

The pegasus filly agreed and the filly in the tower hid behind the door and slipped out when Mother came home that night. She ran through the rolling hills, danced with the waving fields of wheat. She slept under the stars and relished the fresh dew that clung to her in the morning. She sang with the birds and chatted with the foxes, smelled the sweet spices in the air and drank deep from the milk and honey in the riverbed, and forgot all about the tower and the pegasus filly inside.

When she finally remembered she returned to find the tower overgrown with moss and vines. The door was left ajar and Mother was nowhere to be found. In the highest room was the pegasus filly, laying by the window and looking out at the world spread out like a patchwork blanket. Her body was thin and frail, and her cloak was torn away from her wings.

'I've come back,' said the filly, 'Mother is gone so we can both leave this tower and go live in the world outside. We can both breathe the sweet spiced air and drink milk and honey.'

The pegasus filly smiled and spread her brittle wings, 'Freedom at last,' she whispered, 'come, sister, let us finish this.' She leapt out the window and the filly from the tower raced down the stairs and out the door to meet her. But when she stepped outside all she found was a broken pile of feathers, fur, and a tattered old cloak in a bright red spot on the grass.

The filly from the tower stood over the body of the pegasus filly, her sister in torment, and understood. The birds would never sing again. The fields would never dance with wheat again. The air would never smell like sweet spices and there would be no more milk and honey in the riverbed.

The filly of the tower returned to her room and lay in her bed by the window and looked out at the world outside all spread out like a patchwork blanket and remembered all the wonderful things she thought she had there that she would never see again.

*

Momma didn't like the story at all.

"Why are you telling such miserable stories to a little filly?" she said.

Aunt Applejack didn't pay attention to Momma. She looked right at me and said, "Do you understand what the story was about, sugarcube?"

I said I wasn't sure and Aunt Applejack nodded. "Keep thinkin' on it," she said, "you'll understand someday, you're a smart little filly."

Momma said she wasn't feeling well and went to bed early. Poppa went to bed right after her so it was just me and Aunt Applejack. She stared into the fire for a long time before she looked at me and said, "Just remember, Apple Brandy: there are some things that ain't meant to be separated." She rubbed her forehead with a hoof and snorted, "Now listen to me! I'm gettin' sentimental in my old age! Don't listen to me, sugarcube, you just be the best little filly you can be, ya hear?"

She shooed me off to bed and I grabbed you right away to write down the story.

What do you think it means, Diary? It's a sad story, but I don't know if it means anything special. Keep it safe for me while I think about it, okay?

((Note: At the bottom of the page is a note in red ink, which reads: 'I didn't consider how resilient earth pony memories are'.))

September 5th

Dear Diary,

Triple Axel is so stupid!

During recess at school today he was talking about how strong he is and that he can pick up a whole pony. I told him that he can't even pick me up so he's full of applesauce. Then he said that he can't pick me up 'cause I'm an earth pony and all earth ponies are fat and heavy! He said he would prove it by picking up Posey, but Posey was flapping her wings and helping! He's so stupid!!

He's too scrawny to carry a bucket of apples across the orchard! He makes stupid faces when I talk about baking with Momma, but when Posey talks about planting flowers he's suddenly all curious!

Momma says that's just how ten year old colts are and he probably has a crush on Posey. I think he's a big old rotten apple and a ((Note: The rest of this sentence has been aggressively scribbled out)).

Sorry about that, Diary. Don't tell Aunt Applejack I know all those words.

I'm too busy to worry about stupid Axel anyway. The autumn harvest is still in full swing and the Cider Festival is going to be starting soon! I can't help with the cider but there's gonna be lots of apple treats to sell too, and that means Momma and I have a lot of work to do! Then, when Axel comes to the festival and tries to buy an apple fritter I can shove it in his big, stupid face!

If he wants to eat it, he should be nice to the pony who makes it!

September 10th

Dear Diary,

Sorry it's been so long since I've written, Diary! The Cider Festival was today and I'm dead on my hooves. Who knew so many ponies live in Ponyville?!

It was lots of fun though! Momma and I sold all our sweets and then she said I could go play with Axel and Posey. Axel never apologized, but I decided to forgive him anyway. He ate six apple fritters, threw up in a bush and had to go home so Posey and I got to play all by ourselves.

Posey's never seen the whole orchard before so I took her around and showed her everything. All the different apple trees and all the tools that Poppa and Aunt Applejack use to take care of them. She really liked the nursery where all the little saplings are.

It was fun hanging out with just Posey. She's always with Axel so it was nice to get some 'girl time'. (That's what Momma calls it).

September 13th

Dear Diary,

Axel is missing. His Mom says he never made it home from the festival. The whole town has been looking for him for hours. Where could he have gone?

Is he mad that I laughed at him for throwing up?

I hope he's okay, he's an idiot but I don't want him to get hurt….

Author's Note

Wow! I wasn't planning on having a new chapter up already, but the creative juices were flowing!

Misc: #1

((Note: The following is a page from the Ponyville Times, the local newspaper.))

Missing Colt Found Safe and Sound!

Triple Axel, adopted son of Bulk Biceps and Pity Party, was reported missing on the 10th of September after the Apple Cider Festival at Sweet Apple Acres.

According to Pity Party, she sent her son home after he got sick from eating too many apple sweets. "He had an upset tummy," she told reporters, "I didn't even think twice about sending him home by himself. It's Ponyville! Nothing bad ever happens here!"

However, Triple Axel never arrived at home and no one recalled seeing him after he left the festival. Pity Party reported him missing that same night and search parties were formed immediately. Princess Twilight Sparkle herself personally organized the search and the entire town was thoroughly scoured from top to bottom with no sign of the missing colt.

It was finally suggested that the search be extended to the Everfree Forest. Sweet Apple Acres sits close to the forest and the princess surmised that the colt could have wandered into the forest and gotten lost. The princess organized a small squad of her own personal guard and sent them into the forest to search.

This reporter is certainly happy she didn't have to go into the Everfree Forest! Just another example of how fortunate Ponyville is to have a princess living among us! But I digress.

After a nerve-wracking search that lasted three full days, Triple Axel was finally found late September 13th and reunited with his parents.

A member of Princess Twilight's guard was kind enough to agree to an interview.

"We started at the edge of the forest nearest the farm and worked our way inward, keeping in mind the distance a ten-year-old colt would be able to travel in a day, and keeping an eye out for any signs that some form of hostile wildlife may have attacked him.

"Thankfully, our trackers were able to find hoofprints and we followed them until we found the colt. He had found the hut of an old zebra who lives in the forest. She claimed that she had just found the colt herself and was about to bring him back to Ponyville."

Triple Axel was brought to Ponyville Hospital where he was treated for dehydration and malnourishment, but other than a few scrapes and bruises he was unharmed. After a few days of mandatory observation, the colt returned home.

I was lucky enough to be ~~snooping by the door--~~ walking by his hospital room while working on a different story, and had the unique opportunity to interview Triple Axel about his harrowing experience.

"I got sick on apple fritters at the festival and Ma told me to go home," he told me, "I was trying to get though all of the ponies crowding around the cider stand when I saw something."

"What did you see?" I asked.

Triple Axel scrunched his face up, "I dunno..." he said, "it kinda looked like a pony, but like, not at the same time. Like, I could see the shape of a pony, but there wasn't a pony there."

"You mean a pony teleported?"

"No!" he shook his head fiercely, "I dunno how to explain it! Like, I could see the grass and the trees and stuff, but I could see a pony too! Like all the trees and grass were bent around a pony or something!" He started to look scared, "I-I thought it was a ghost or a spook or something and I got really scared and I guess I ran into the woods...the next thing I knew I was surrounded by big, dark trees and I couldn't see which way I came from. I drank some water from puddles and the striped pony found me and said she would take me home. Then the guard ponies came and brought me to the hospital."

He refused to say anymore. Princess Twilight listened to his report as well and had this to say: "Obviously, the recollections of a frightened young colt need to be taken with a generous grain of salt. More than likely he snuck some cider, got disoriented, and wandered into the forest."

And that is that. No further investigation is planned. Bulk Biceps and Pity Party refused another interview, stating only that they were "beyond delighted to have their precious son back".

Hot Scoop--Ponyville Times

((Note: The following is written at the bottom of the news page in red ink. The writing matches that of Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Notes to self:

Make adjustments to the cloaking spell. Keen-eyed ponies (particularly pegasi) are able to see the light refracting around the cloaked figure.

After making adjustments, check in on Pairs A and C.

Pay Applejack a visit.

Check Apple Brandy's diary.

Check for diaries written by other members of Group Alpha. It's a much easier way to track their progress and recent events may finally prompt Pair B to keep diaries of their own.

Diary Entries: September (Diary 2)

September 16th

Uh...hey there, Im Triple Axel. Ma thinks that writing will help me understand my feelings, or whatever, so I'm supposed to write in this book whenever I need to "get something off my chest". Whatever that means. Diaries are for silly fillies! Pa doesn't need to write his feelings in a diary, he just goes out and lifts heavy stuff like a real stallion!

What am I supposed to write about?

What am I supposed to be feeling?

This is all because I got lost in the Everfree Forest! It wasn't even that scary! There was lots of water puddles to drink and berries and grass to eat. I could totally live there if I wanted to! I could live off the land like one of those old pioneer ponies and only eat plants that I foraged or grew myself.

I know how to plant stuff too! Posey showed me.

Too bad Posey wasn't there with me, she would have seen how brave I was and then I wouldn't have to write in some dumb diary. I bet if I asked she would go into the forest with me. The forest isn't scary, it's just a bunch of trees and plants and stuff. Posey likes those.

Do you think a pony could grow a flower from the Everfree Forest in Ponyville? Ma says that the plants in the forest are different from the plants at home. She says they grow all on their own, but don't all plants do that? You plant a seed in the ground and it grows by itself...right? I should ask Posey.

September 18th

Ma finally let me leave the house today. I mean, she let me go to school and stuff, but I had to come home right after and I couldn't go see anyone and she wouldn't let anyone in to see me either.

I'm still not allowed to go to Sweet Apple Acres, though and Ma doesn't like Posey (she says looking at her gives her a headache, whatever that means. So I just kinda wandered around Ponyville for a while.

I like Ponyville. It's small and quiet and there are a lot more plants and flowers here than in the city. In Fillydelphia everything is all grey and boring. There aren't a lot of ponies here either. Apple Brandy thinks there's a lot, but she's never been anywhere else. It's weird living in a place where everyone knows everyone else.

It's autumn now so all the plants are dying, so I was walking around looking for heavy stuff to practice my lifting. Apple Brandy thinks her pa is the strongest pony in town. Maybe he was before we moved here, but my pa is definitely the strongest in town now! He has huge muscles and can lift anything he wants! Ma says that I'm not built to be as strong as Pa, but I'll show her! I'll show everyone! No one thinks I can be strong because I have a pink mane like a filly. I'll be even stronger than Pa when I grow up! I can already pick up Posey!

September 19th

I went back into the Everfree Forest today.

I didn't go far, I didn't want to get lost again, just far enough that I could get a good look.

The forest is really pretty during the day. The sun shines through the leaves just enough to make bright spots on the ground, like a path inviting you in. There're so many plants too. All kinds of grass and moss and flowers. I didn't touch any in case they were poisonous, but I kinda wanted to. Has anyone, like, studied the plants in the Everfree Forest? I know the princess got infected with poison joke, but is that the only plant ponies know about?

The old zebra in the forest knows all about the plants in there, I bet. She had huge bundles of them tied up all over her hut. She could teach me about them. I wonder if she ever comes to Ponyville?

I mean...I could always...try to find her hut again...?

((Note: The following was written in the margin of the page in red ink. The writing matches that of Princess Twilight Sparkle.))

An interesting turn of events. It seems I was right that at least one half of Pair B would be urged to keep a diary, though I will allow myself a small amount of credit for suggesting the idea to his adoptive mother. I was concerned that his meeting Posey Parade at such a young age might cause a change in his development, and it seems I was right, but not in the way I expected. Posey Parade is progressing as expected. Continued exposure may irreparably alter Triple Axel's course, or would this be his course regardless? It's impossible to know for sure. I need more data. Hopefully, the other pairs will provide enough information to reach a satisfactory result. So far, the pairs show no signs of overlapping again.

Pair B will remain set aside as an anomaly group under careful attention.

September 22nd

I had a weird dream last night. I was planting a seed in a pot, just like Posey showed me. I poured water on it and watched it grow into a giant flower in just a couple seconds. I recognized the flower too; I think it's called a daffodil. The white ones with the little yellow trumpet in the middle. It was huge, bigger than two Pa's standing on top of each other! I wasn't afraid though (why would I be afraid of a flower?), I felt really happy that I had made such a big flower grow all by myself.

The flower was closed, though, and I didn't know how to make it open. So, I just kept staring at it, waiting for something to happen, but nothing ever did. The flower bud stayed a bud no matter how long I sat and watched it, and I knew that I couldn't do anything to make it open up to me, because the flower didn't know it needed to open. It was happy to just sit there and be a bud.

Incomplete.

I woke up after that and I've been thinking about it ever since. Do you think it means anything? Ma says that dreams come from Princess Luna so maybe she's trying to tell me something? It was about a flower so maybe I should ask Posey about it; she knows all about flowers and stuff.

Nah, I'd have to do it at school and then other ponies might hear me. I don't want all my friends to know I dream about flowers and silly filly things like that.

((Note: The following was a separate sheet of parchment rolled up with the diary pages.))

My Dear Friend, Twilight Sparkle,

It has come to my attention that there has been an increase in unusual dreams in a small group of foals spread throughout Equestria. Normally, this would not be anything especially unusual, but the subject of the dreams has given me reason to pause and consider the possibility that something is amiss. It may be nothing, but as the princess of dreams I cannot stand idly by while some of my little ponies may be in some form of distress.

I write this letter to inform you that three of the troubled foals appear to be located in Ponyville; Apple Brandy, Triple Axel, and Posey Parade, to be exact. I implore you to look into the matter and see if you can ascertain the cause of these dreams. I will be doing my own investigations on the remaining foals.

May the moon smile upon you,
Luna

((Note: the following appears to be a copy of a reply to the previous letter. The writing matches that of Twilight Sparkle.))

Dear Princess Luna,

Thank you for reaching out to me with such an important message. I have nothing but respect for you and the work that you perform in the dream realm and would be more than happy to assist you in any way that I can.

I am aware of the three Ponyville foals that you mentioned. I do not know if you keep track of Ponyville news but there was recently an incident that involved (directly and indirectly) all three of them, which could be resulting in the troubled dreams that you have seen. As for the other foals that you mentioned, I'm afraid I don't know what the cause of their unrest could be, and I sincerely hope that you are able to bring them some relief.

Of course I will do anything in my power to help you, and I hope you will keep me updated on your progress.

Your friend always,
Twilight Sparkle

Author's Note

Another update will be coming soon, the creative juices are flowing!

Writer Unknown

((Note: The following page was found separate from the diary entries. The writer is unknown.))

Broken, bleeding, but without a mark on my body. Smile for the camera, my dear, your mane looks shoddy.

I'm tired…. So tired of everything. I can't even write poetry anymore, everything is starting to sound the same. How can I make anything new when nothing around me ever changes?

Trapped in a cage. A bird with no wings. Never to fly, never to sing.

Trapped in luxury, the illusion of happiness….

Father brought me a dress today, apparently there's some Gala happening soon and I am, of course, expected to attend.

"You'll be on your very best behavior, of course," he said.

"Yes, Father," I said back, like I always do. There's no point I'm saying anything else, all he'll hear is agreement anyway.

Stand like a proper mare. Show yourself off, let them stare. Paint on a smile with makeup I feel too young to wear….

Am I happy…?

The dress is pretty, I guess. Green to match my mane and contrast against my pink-red coat. It has all the fashionable ruffles and ribbons that are all the rage right now, and there's a red ribbon for my mane and tail.

I…I like it…I think. You're supposed to like gifts from your parents, right? They give you things because they love you, right? That's what Aunt Celestia says. She says that deep down, Father loves me in his own way. Is that what this is? Is this love?

Love is…expensive gifts?
Love is…silent dinners?
Love is…an empty mansion?
Love is…a frowning face?

I'm tired of being frowned at. Father only smiles when other ponies are around.

Is it because I'm not white like you? Do you not like my color? Could I change it? If I push the knife deep enough will all the red drain away and make me white like you? Would that make you happy? Would that make you smile at me? It wouldn't leave a mark, I promise. I learned how to hide them.

It doesn't even hurt anymore….

I wonder where my mother is.

Father says that she couldn't handle my birth and left him all alone with me. When I ask Aunt Celestia she just gives me a sad look and says that Father will tell me everything when he's ready. Ready for what? What is there to be ready for? Did something bad happen? Is that why Father doesn't love me right?

Or is it me who doesn't love Father right? Should I try to be more like him? Walk with my snout in the air and use big fancy words that don't mean anything. Take tiny, tip-hoof steps like I'm walking on something awful and frown at everyone who isn't dressed as nicely as me. Will that make me happy?

I'm not happy. Something is wrong. Something is missing. I'm incomplete, something was taken from me back before I can remember. The face that looks back at me in the mirror of my dreams isn't mine, but it's a part of me.

I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't escape. There is no freedom for me. A tower made of windows, but none of them open. A hallway full of doors, but all of them are locked.

I feel too much and nothing at all. My back is breaking but there's nothing on it. There's air all around me, but my lungs won't fill. There's no relief from this awful pressure on my bones. From this burning ache in my chest.

No escape.

I need my – ((Note: The end of this sentence is obscured by red-brown stains. What follows is written at the bottom of the page in red ink, the writing matches that of Twilight Sparkle.))

A troubling development that I fear falls outside my estimated failsafes. I had no way to know in advance what the family situation would be…but should I have expected as much based on previous data?

I could have prevented this, I take full responsibility for this error. I fear Princess Luna will have much repair to do to this poor foal's dreamscape. But, sadly the experiment must continue; a major change could irreparably affect their development and I didn't spend so many years preparing to let myself be swayed by emotions.

I'll make it up to them later, when the experiment is complete. The results of all my hard work will cushion the blow of their experiences. All of them, not just Pair D. I see that all the pairs are experiencing varying levels of distress due to my actions.

I would ask Celestia to forgive me, but I know I'm well beyond even her forgiveness now. This fatal lapse in judgment has made this even closer to her than I ever intended. A large egg to break for this omelet of mine.

Progress of Group Alpha so far.

Age:12

Pair A: Progressing as expected. Differences in interests are promising but inconclusive as of the time of writing. Current locations: Detrot and Manehattan.

Pair B: Anomaly pair under special observation. Current location: Ponyville.

Pair C: Progressing slower than expected. Similarity of interests is inconclusive as of the time of writing. Current locations: Appaloosa and Fillydelphia.

Pair D: Unexpected developments. One is progressing as expected while the other is stagnating in a less than ideal environment. Regardless, drastic differences of interests are promising but inconclusive as of the time of writing. Current locations: Ponyville and Canterlot.

Author's Note

This chapter has been cooking in my head for a bit.

Can you tell I used to wrote some angsty poetry as a teenager? There will probably be a bit of a stretch before the next chapter so I hope you'll be patient with me🩷