Chanting Adds to the Effect
"Huh, there was an earthquake this morning in the Garnet Quarter," Shining Armor mumbled to himself as he flipped through the main newspaper of the Crystal Empire, The Crystal Spyglass. After the pertinent and very insightful observation, he settled further into the plush La-Z-Mare easy chair that had recently been acquired for him. Acquired primarily through begging the nearest store selling it to accept his miniscule—and expired—coupons for fifty bits off to count as the entire payment.
Although some ponies in the store would have claimed what he did to be extortion or highway robbery, they also didn't want to cross the, at the time, very tired Cadance, whose razor-thin smile had indicated that she was only a second away from snapping if they didn't get what they wanted. Probably had something to do with the young filly in their company who was happily testing how easily the faux leather of the furniture would take to being poked a dozen times per second with a horn.
Whatever the case, he could feel every bone in his body sink comfortably into the lounger and settle at just the right angle for maximum comfort. He shivered and pulled the newspaper closer to himself as a small crackle of air filled the den. He corrected himself. Not the den, a den. After all, with so much space in the Crystal Palace, there had been more than enough room to set up multiple stallion caves in which he could hide himself away.
Powering his horn, he fed a bit more magic into the fireplace of this particular living room. The lapping flames cast an orange glow across the crystal walls and floor. Outside, the stars of the night began to slowly pop out as Twilight set the sun and raised the moon, which was nary but a sliver in the sky.
He paused, as he heard a small huff come from his charge in the room, and he stated, "Flurry, whatever you're doing, it probably requires a bit of patience. Not everything can happen instantly, young filly." He shook his head.
"Yes, father." Flurry Heart's monotone voice was a stark contrast to the rest of the room and Shining's demeanor. It was slightly mechanical in nature, like somepony who wasn't quite thinking on what they were saying and just let their brain run on autopilot.
Without a second thought, Shining engrossed himself further into his newspaper. Between running the kingdom—shared with Cadance, of course—and being a father, having a few minutes to just relax, catch up on local and world events, and enjoy the warmth of a fireplace was a luxury. A rueful smile formed on his lips as he recalled his younger self, before Cadance had Flurry, promise Cadance that there was no way that one little creature could cause too much disruption.
After all, his parents got by and had a social life, and he and Twilight turned out perfectly fine. Minus the occasional Twilighting incident. Which probably occurred once a week, if he understood Spike's constant letters for help sent to everypony he knew.
But he was sure Spike could handle it.
Just like how he could handle his princely duties, which were rather dry, if he had to admit it. The world had moved on. When was the last time everycreature had to worry about a new villain promising to destroy Equestria? Or actually conquer Equestria, and then probably find the world's self-destruct button or something. Peace had prevailed, which left him with little to do. Aside from reading minutes. Or signing autographs. Or kissing foals for infatuated parents. Et cetera. Et cetera.
Didn't mean he wouldn't rise to a good challenge, though. Most of his day had been spent in meeting with Flim and Flam Co., regarding their proposed dumping grounds which they promised would improve the lives of everypony. Although the contents of the dump were green, came in containers with scary symbols, and generally made anypony within half a mile of it keel over and die if they weren't covered in a hundred pounds of lead, it was probably just a minor issue. And with the promised income from the research into that dumping ground, it would surely lead to kickbacks from Flim and Flam.
That was why he approved it to be built right next to the Crystal City Orphanage. Without any hesitation, he could imagine the cash being used to assist all the bright-eyed and eager young foals get ahead in life. Absolutely nothing horrible could happen because of it. He had been assured. Verbally.
As Flurry made some more noises, mostly whispers and hisses, he flipped through a couple more pages and then rested on the comics of the day. Within seconds, he felt mirth rise in his chest as he read a couple of the different cartoons. Snickering, he shook his head at one, mainly the young stallion main character complaining about how he could never move out of the house with his supposedly annoying parents. All the funnier as the character's father simply stared at him as he mowed down on a dozen pieces of organic mangoes on toast.
With a small giggle, Shining shook his head and muttered, "Kids. Just have to work a bit harder." Glancing back at Flurry, he winked at her and declared, "Right, little snowflake?"
"Correct, father."
Wistfully sighing, Shining stared at her for a couple of seconds, flashing her a supportive smile. In return, she slowly rotated her head a hundred and eighty degrees to stare directly at him. Her eyes glowed momentarily, before she robotically returned his grin. Around her floated pulsating symbols of magical runes and other magic incantations . She, herself, was levitating without using any magic or her wings for support.
Also, she was upside down. That was just a small detail, though. Nothing too concerning if she didn't do that for long and let all the blood rush to her brain.
In the midst of the symbols was a small, slowly expanding black orb, which seemed to whisper and beckon to Shining whenever he rested his eyes on it for more than a second. When Flurry and the thing remained silent, he simply shrugged and went back to his newspaper. "Well, have fun, honey. Mommy's going to be here shortly, then we can all get ready for dinner."
"As you wish, father." Flurry's voice remained completely flat. To him, it was like she was barely paying attention. Probably just the thing she was playing with. Looked like it was a bit distracting.
Oh well, nothing that young fillies didn't do to entertain themselves.
As the air seemed to grow colder, Shining poured a bit more energy into the hearth, and then flipped to the sports pages in the newspaper. His chair squeaked slightly as he adjusted himself, and he could hear the crackle of the fire be outdone by the rumble and slurping noises from the miniature black orb.
Maybe Flurry will show me it later, he mused. It could be a fun father-daughter activity. At that, he smiled. Just to prove, again, that I'm better than you at parenting, Dad!
With that, he snorted and straightened his paper while humming softly to himself. There were a couple more incomprehensible sounds from whatever Flurry was doing, which made him shiver a couple of times as his horn throbbed slightly. There were a few sparks of energy that spurted from the tip, in unison with a hungry howl from the orb.
After a couple of seconds, the sensation passed, and it was like nothing ever happened. Aside from the chanting that Flurry was doing, but frankly, he was pretty sure it was just some new pop song by Sapphire Shores. How that hack had any following compared to Countess Coloratura was beyond him.
He licked his lips.
If he had to admit it, life was just too quiet. Was he really made up for reading the newspaper and sipping on coffee like every other dad in the Empire? Where was the fun and adventure?
In the back of his head, he could hear Cadance nagging at him about the last time he decided it was time for a foray with the Empire's backing. After carefully hoofcrafting a letter to appear to come from Pinkie Pie, insinuating that Prince Rutherford's mother looked like the remains of a creature after accidentally coming in contact with a speeding chariot, he had been shocked to get a grateful response from the prince. Then he responded with an apology, and that "Pinkie" had meant that Rutherford's mother looked like Princess Celestia, as that was how beautiful she was.
The anger from the yaks he could hear from the castle when that letter arrived. Just a shame that a bunch of bovines could somehow manage to horribly smash his spanking new-from-Fillydelphia battle tanks.
Cadance almost found it funny when he had to give the unconditional surrender to Yakyakistan himself.
Before he could lose himself again in the reliving of the greatest war ever, he heard the chanting from Flurry abruptly stop. Normally, it wouldn't matter, but there was a presence, a sensation of being watched, that trickled down his spine. As each hair on his back stood on end, he caught Flurry steadily walking toward him. Each hoofbeat was dainty, like she was trying to prance on ice without slipping.
As he pricked an ear to track her, he listened as she came close, then stopped. Instinctively, he reached down a forehoof and gently patted her head. Probably Flurry was just impatient for Cadance to get there. All eight-year-olds seemed to be obsessed with one parent or another.
"Don't worry, Flurry," he consoled her, a bit of parental condescension dripping into his voice. He glanced over his easy chair and grinned at her. In response, she only looked up, face devoid of emotion. She blankly stared back. With a bit more effort, he widened his smile and declared, "Mommy will be here shortly. After dealing with..."
He scrunched his brow and thought. What was Cadance doing again? Love consultations? That sounded right.
"Princess business," he finished with a nod.
Flurry blinked.
"Father, I require additional lifeblood of which my new companion must partake for sustenance. Wherefore could I procure a suitable amount of red ichor, so that I may satisfy his needs?" The bow in her mane drooped slightly, and she quickly adjusted it with a wing. When she let go, the bow was dripping with blood.
He stared at it. Crimson droplets pooled along her back and down onto the floor, and he traced the path of them with his eyes. Odd.
"Hmmm," mumbled Shining as he put down his paper and peered toward the ceiling. Watching his and Flurry's reflection, he tapped his chin a couple of times with a forehoof, then shrugged. "I don't know, my pudgy snowstorm—" Flurry finally grimaced at that "—but Mommy shouldn't be very far off. You can explore a bit before she gets here."
"Thank you, father," Flurry replied mechanically, swiveling around on her hooves to face directly toward the single door leading into the den. When she reached it, she whipped it open, slamming it against one of the bookshelves that stood near the opening.
In response, Shining merely raised his newspaper again and quipped, "Any time, snowflake. Any time." Afterward, he sighed and wriggled his rump to more closely hug the nook in the chair's back. Exactly the kind of support he needed to feel like he was in heaven. "Now I know why Dad always loved a good chair," he muttered to himself.
With the room falling quiet, he engrossed himself once more in the newspaper, the odd murmur or grunt of commentary escaping his lips as he read the sports results. Before, though, he could get to buckball, the door slammed open again and Flurry walked by, holding a hamster in her magic, as well as a couple of different carving knives.
As she passed, he managed to sneak another pat on the head, which earned a hiss from Flurry. He tittered, "Foals."
When he pulled the newspaper back, he heard the tired trudges of some shooed hooves, and he looked up to see Cadance inch her way into the den. Dark, haggard circles were under her eyes, and her mane was mussed from rushing around various parts of the palace. One of the gems in her tiara was missing, too.
They locked gazes. After a small beat, Cadance finally muttered, "Hi." All Shining did in response was blow her a kiss and pat right next to him in the chair. To get as cozy as possible. Dinner could wait for a bit longer, since it seemed Cadance just needed a bit of attention beforehoof.
Flattening his ears against his head, he tried to drown out the squeaking and squealing from the hamster which Flurry had acquired. From where, he didn't know. Didn't really care, either, if he were to ask himself that.
Cadance swiveled her head in the direction of the noise, and she dully blinked a couple of times as her brain registered what she saw. Facing Shining, she inquired tiredly, "What is Flurry doing?"
"Hmm?"
"What is Flurry, our lovely daughter—which you helped to conceive, and I birthed, through immeasurable pain—doing?" She jabbed a forehoof to indicate Flurry, and he casually folded his newspaper and turned around. Momentarily, they both observed Flurry, who was struggling to incise upon the hamster that was wiggling, scratching, and clawing, to get away from her hoof's grip.
The black orb had grown further, draining all light and color from the room's wall which it was nearest. Some of the furniture, namely a lamp and a couple of pictures, had been torn from it and sucked inward toward the center of the orb. Along the way, they had shattered and compressed like a great weight had been placed upon them, bending and twisting them into strange contortions. Some even matched the magic runes.
"Huh," stated Shining matter-of-factly. Pursing his lips, he checked back on Cadance. "I don't know. Probably just having fun." He shrugged. "Fillies will be fillies."
At that, he went back to his paper, while Cadance still stared, dumbfoundedly, at Flurry. In short order, after massaging her temples and giving a long, tired sigh, Cadance glared back at Shining. She stayed quiet, and he could infer from the glower he was getting, she might have been a little angry. What for, who could tell? Maybe it was that time of year again.
"I spent the last eleven hours responding to the earthquake situation in the Garnet Quarter." She stomped once. "I've not even eaten since yesterday." Drawing a deep breath, she exclaimed in the most regal and refined tone possible, "HOW AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED BY THIS?!"
For just a moment, her rare usage of the Royal Canterlot Voice shocked Flurry, who jumped and looked back at Cadance, before returning to her attempts to stab the hamster. "Am, am I the only one seeing this?!" Cadance demanded, thrusting both her forehooves to indicate Flurry. "Am I the only sane one here?!"
"Meh," responded Shining with a small shrug of his shoulders. It was about as noncommittal as he could give. Couldn't he just read his bucking buckball news?
"What is going on?!" Cadance screeched.
At that, Flurry halted her attempts, but still managed to hold onto the hamster. Rigidly standing up and ignoring the slurping and screaming noises coming from the orb, Flurry faced Cadance and said in a deadpan voice, "Mother. I am attempting to feed one of the companions of the great griffon power, Maar. It requires the sustenance of innocent lifeblood, by which it can maintain connection with our reality for a short time." At Cadance's bug-eyed expression, Flurry continued, completely devoid of any emotion, "It has promised that it will share secrets of magic with us all, but if it is not fed, then it will consume our very magical essence instead." With that, she whipped around to try and continue with stabbing the hamster.
"Oh, that's nice of it to give options," Shining interjected, which earned a shocked squeak from Cadance. She whirled her head around to glare daggers at Shining, but he didn't register. Instead, he rested a hoof nonchalantly on his armrest and asked, "Is it T̷͎̈́h̵̖͊e̴͎̒ ̵͔͐H̶͕̕u̷̩̕ṅ̸͇ġ̷̭e̴̼͂ṙ̵͓è̵̪r̴̳̓? It sounds like T̶̲̺̈h̴̯̹̳̐e̵͕̺̓̒̂ ̷̗̊H̷͕̀͋͝ǘ̵̫͍̊͑n̶͍̼͍̑g̵̡̮̞͑ę̴̻͊r̸̻͇̙̍̿͌ė̵̹r̵͓̺̻̓."
Flurry didn't respond.
Fixing her glare—which she practiced to perfection—upon Shining, Cadance glowered at him for a moment. Occasionally one of her eyelids would twitch uncontrollably, and her mouth slowly curled upwards in a growl. She at last boomed, "Am I the only one not okay with this?!" She puffed a couple of times. "Why are you so calm?!"
Shining shrugged. Without a word, he floated up a cup of coffee which he had left on a table next to the easy chair, and he sipped it. Loudly. To Cadance, it sounded like hooves being ground into a chalkboard. After a good ten seconds of slurping, Shining sighed and put his coffee down. At that, he silently went back to his newspaper.
After a small beat, in which Cadance merely stood, twitching angrily, he looked over the paper in curiosity and asked, "Oh, you were expecting an answer, Caddy?"
"YES!"
He shrugged again. "Flurry's just having a Twilighting episode." He wistfully exhaled as he checked his daughter again, who looked up just as she was about to plunge the knives she held into the hamster's chest. She met his gaze passively.
"Just like Twily," he quipped as he shook his head.
"'Just like'?" Cadance echoed, then smacked a hoof to her forehead. Dragging it slowly down, she instinctively snatched Flurry in her magic, just as the knives were about to piece the hamster. Since Flurry hadn't been prepared for a sudden, magical nabbing, she lost grip of the hamster and the knives, and all fell to the floor in a clatter.
As soon as it was free, the hamster scampered into a corner to look fearfully at all three ponies.
While Flurry was dragged along, she simply stated, "Mother, father, the innocent hamster must perish, lest we all suffer the loss of our magic. And our souls."
"That's great, snowflake," returned Shining with a small air of condescension. As Flurry was pulled into Cadance's waiting forelegs, he managed to reach out from his chair and pat Flurry's head as she slid by. A wide smile formed on his lips as he returned to his reading.
Cadance twisted back to gaze at the black orb as it unleashed a guttural howl. In response, the lighting in the room dimmed for a moment. Fingers of fire danced out of the hearth, to be extinguished seconds later by the gusts that had formed inside. The hamster managed to snag a claw onto a small crack in the crystal flooring in its corner, and hung on for dear life until the wind had died down. Shining merely huffed and grumped, "I think we need to fix the draft in here."
Cadance simply shot the orb a glare. Placing her ire upon Shining, she stalked up to him and hissed, "Or maybe, just maybe, we should talk about our daughter looking to sign a pact in a creature's blood with some random entity from... wherever those griffon gods come from."
"Should we?"
"Yes!" Cadance resisted the urge to hoof Shining in his adorable muzzle. "What if she somehow acquired even stronger magic?"
Shining dropped his paper down. Arching a brow and switching his gaze between Flurry—who peered at him blankly—and Cadance—who was snorting small puffs of steam, he let out a small "meh" and inquired, "Is that really so bad? We could use some more magical help around here. What if Sombra were to return?" He paused. "Again?"
"We'd get Twilight to do all the work while he gloated at us, like always," Cadance quipped back before she shook her head. "Giving any more power to Flurry is just asking for problems."
"But what if Twilight can't stop Sombra the next time?" Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Shining attempted to avoid eye contact with Cadance, who was doing her best to keep Flurry tight to her chest. The filly was beginning to wriggle and writhe out of Cadance's grip. All the while, her expression was emotionless.
"Oh yes, the alicorn who leveled a bucking mountain by herself last week because she needed to expand Canterlot Castle's library wing." Cadance rolled her eyes, which made Shining blush. "Definitely not powerful enough. And definitely can't call on Starlight 'OP Unicorn' Glimmer for backup." She nickered.
Glancing down at Flurry, Cadance hummed when Flurry simply stared up at her. For a few seconds, they observed each other, and then Flurry inquired, "Mother, when I prevent the deaths of all—excepting the hamster—from this room, may we visit Canterlot Library regarding Rosa Maledicta's treatise on pre-diarchy runes and their meanings?"
Before Cadance could speak, Shining reached down and patted Flurry, who was still looking up at Cadance. Each light touch gently compressed Flurry's nose, which scrunched and unscrunched in a manner that Cadance had to admit was cute. If only Flurry wasn't currently trying to form ties with something associated with Maar.
Eventually, Shining's doting dislodged Flurry's bow, which fell over her face. She didn't react to it.
Picking up the accessory, Cadance straightened it while she stated calmly and collectedly, "Shining, Flurry is obviously in her impressionable period of her life, and while it's great that Twilight can be a role model, most days, shouldn't she—" She paused as Shining slowly lowered the newspaper down to glare at her "—she maybe not mimic Twilight in this manner? Literally anypony else? Like Auntie Celestia or Luna?"
For a moment, Shining stared at her, and then he huffed, "That's my sister you're talking about, Caddy." Crossing his forelegs, he puffed out his lips dejectedly and snorted. "There's nothing wrong with Twilight." With a pouting whine, he merely glowered at her. "Besides, she's your sister-in-law, too."
"Be that as it may," Cadance breathed, willing some of the building anger in her chest to dissipate, "she is also the same alicorn who sent a decree throughout Equestria regarding the state of two of her quills that she used, demanding to know who messed with them." When Shining just blinked at her, she groaned and jabbed a hoof demonstratively at him. "They were one millimeter different in size!"
He cringed. Pulling up the newspaper over his head, he whimpered, "That is kinda worrying, Caddy." Briefly, he remained in place, and eventually lowered the paper so that she could see the shivers working their way through his body. Internally, she felt the urge to go over and wrap him in her wings. However, the freakout over the quills was a good turnoff for that.
While Flurry focused her attention on the orb at the far end of the room, Cadance used some of her magic to reinforce her grip on her filly. Although alicorns had the strength of earth ponies, it was remarkable how much Flurry was straining against, and almost winning, in the contested strengths. Cadance's horn flared, and she managed to keep Flurry under control, for the moment.
The light in the room had dimmed further, and small crackles of electricity had begun to emanate from the orb. Somehow, the thing itself had gotten blacker, despite already being as dark as night. If Cadance or Shining didn't know better, it was almost like it was feeding off the light itself.
As a couple of arcs of energy shot past Cadance, she yelped and ducked. When she came up, she snapped, "You know, Flurry could just... eat cake. Sit around all day. Make jokes about bananas. Like Auntie Tia. Tartarus, she could be cursing like a sailor for all I care or find a new food addiction and die one day from clogged arteries like Twilight."
Shining glowered at her.
"Anything but selling her soul to a literal Maar companion!" At that, Flurry managed to finally break free from Cadance's grip and began to trudge toward the hamster. It squeaked in fright, covering its head with its paws and cowering further.
Recovering from his annoyance, Shining huffed, "Honestly, this seems like Ț̵͕̘̲̝̱̆̆̀̐͋̌͝ḧ̸̺́̀e̸̜͊ ̵̻̦̲͝H̸̫̻̭̎̐͜ͅu̶̡̧̻̺͉͉̖͝n̶̡͔͐̈͠g̶̛̬̘̜̈́͋͒é̶͇r̶̢͖͊̾͋̈͠͝ē̶̳̈̈́͝r̷̡̮̼̠̰͈̄͗, which was really nice, last I recall." He scratched at his chin, then smiled as he glanced up at the ceiling. "I still remember when Twily first contacted him. Offered her such a nice bargain for the animals nearby."
Cadance froze momentarily. As her brain sputtered back to life, she managed to catch Flurry by the tail with her magic, and dragged the filly back. "You mean that day when we were... studying and watching Twilight, and half of your house imploded?! That Twilight moment?"
"The one and only," Shining replied with a grin. Flexing the newspaper to get it to straighten to the section he wanted, he sighed, "Best of times. Best of times. Too bad she grew out of it." At that, he fell silent again and perused his paper. He chuckled at something, which only made Cadance's growing scowl intensify more rapidly.
As Flurry slowly squeaked across the floor as she was pulled along, she simply declared, "Mother, if my companion is not fed soon, it will instead feast upon our very essence. We must provide it with the blood of this innocent hamster to remain well."
"Shut it!" Cadance snapped while she pointed a hoof at Flurry. For a couple of seconds, the room was silent, and then Flurry tried to carefully, gingerly inch her way toward the hamster. There was a small shimmer of activity in her eyes, like she had just woken up for the first time.
Cadance crouched down. "If you so much as move one picometer toward that, young filly, you're grounded for life!"
Flurry stopped. Eyes wide, she faced Cadance and stared at her for a moment. Softly, she finally whimpered, "What? Mom? What hap—"
Before she could finish her question, the orb roared, flinging lightning and gusting wind in all directions. Cadance yelped as she was knocked back a couple of feet, and Flurry was caught in the updraft before she spiraled toward the fireplace. Shining nonchalantly reached out a hoof and caught her before she got close.
Shielding herself from the assault, Cadance let out a small gasp as the room suddenly felt like it was falling inwards. Her heart beat loudly in her ears, and she could feel the pulse in her veins throb in her body as the pressure seemed to evaporate. Every inch of her being screamed to explode, as painful jolts of magic lapped at her very soul.
She pressed a wing to her nose. It came back crimson.
"Huh, why do I taste iron?" Shining asked as he continued to read his paper. A thin trail of magic began to crawl from his horn and toward the entity. Identical to both Flurry and Cadance.
Catching that Flurry was beginning to weaken already, given her limp posture on Shining's lap, Cadance's body surged with rage, and she whipped her head around to glower at the orb. Gritting her teeth, she ignored the painful prickles and jabs in her body as her magic was absorbed from her, slowly shutting down everything within. She stomped up to the void.
Each hoofbeat left behind cracks in the crystal and kicked up small clouds of dust, which were soon whipped away by the current of air surrounding the orb. When she reached the thing, remaining no more than an upper-foreleg's distance away, she jabbed a hoof toward it and snarled, "Stop that, right now, or so help me..."
Although the thing didn't rotate, she could sense a presence watching her. Contemplating her. Then, although there was no noise, her head pounded with a heavy, confident laughter that seemed to be transmitted straight from the void to her. She groaned and cradled her wings around her head.
Almost collapsing to the floor, she instead widened her stance to remain steady. She heaved, glanced behind her shoulder, and saw Flurry's pallid appearance. Only a weak trickle of magic left her horn. Shining was beginning to nod off, but he was still alert. For the most part. When he saw Cadance looking at him, he waved happily.
She snorted.
Seeing red, she marched the last few inches up to the void and pressed her muzzle almost directly against it. Its surface felt like touching fire, but she pushed through it. Furiously scowling, she hissed, "If you so much as suck one more bit of magic out of my Flurry, whether I die here or not, I will find a way into whatever damn reality you come from and make your life a living Tartarus!" She nickered irately.
As she met the orb's "gaze", the flow of magic from all three ponies halted, and the room fell deathly still. Heaving, Cadance wiped at her nose and stood slightly straighter. Although the void had ceased, it was still there, almost pondering. Then, with an undignified yelp, the great black sphere that had grown throughout the last half hour rapidly shrunk, disappearing with a small popping noise.
As it did, the magic that it had gobbled burst from it, quickly returning to their respectful owners. Cadance sighed as strength returned to her muscles, and the pains dissipated. Twirling around, she furrowed her brow when she heard Shining huff, "Oh, Celestia, I'm going to have to get a shower." He tsked. "I guess it's too dry in here. Got a bleeder. Bad one, too."
After a small moan, Flurry rose to sit upright and rubbed her eyes. She yawned. "Where am I?" she inquired, blinking a few times in surprise. After focusing on where the void entity disappeared, she gasped. "No! Not Mr. Hungerer! How am I going to get Macabre Blade to like me now?!"
At that, she started to sniffle, her tears mixing with the drying blood from her nose, and Cadance rolled her eyes. As if on cue, the sniveling turned into a small river of tears and a wail, and Flurry flapped over to Cadance to be hugged by her. Cadance smiled.
Flurry might have just almost signed away her soul to Maar, but at least she was bucking cute. Made up for some of it.
As Flurry continued to snuffle and snort, Cadance shushed her and then stated, "You could always just read and impress him with a book." She pulled Flurry back and snorted. "Not anything from Canterlot Library, understood?" When Flurry nodded, she quipped, "Good." She pulled Flurry in closer.
After a second or two, Shining moaned, "Oh, Celestia, the Canterlot Coasters got trounced by the Bales Bouncers. Who loses to Bales?!" He flung his newspaper into the fire and crossed his hooves. "Dumb sports," he huffed.
"Oh! May I go with Daddy to his funny boom games tomorrow?" Flurry pleaded, using her magic to teleport out of Cadance's grip and instead onto Shining's head. She giggled when Shining playfully glanced around, like he lost track of her, although it was clear he knew exactly where she was.
When he settled down, Flurry flashed Cadance a massive grin. "Pleeeeeease?" she begged, somehow managing to make her pupils grow to twice their normal size. Lesser beings would have keeled over from such concentrated cuteness, but Cadance had been immunized by years of being Flurry's mother.
As she was about to say no, Shining also looked at her, and matched Flurry's grin and pleading expression. In the back of her head, Cadance determined it was a horrible idea, but she instead sighed and muttered, "Fine. Fine. Just don't—"
"Wee!" Flurry interjected as she hopped off. "Time to practice how quickly I can slag a field!" She cheered as she flew out of the room, leaving the door to slam back into place.
"Fillies will be fillies," Shining quipped as he gave a small chuckle. "Where'd my—oh, good thing I had a backup." Shining brought out a magazine of Just Bucking Guns and started whistling as he perused the magazine. Intermittently, he brought up his coffee and sipped on it, ignoring Cadance's growing, furious eye-twitching.
"Huh, could be warmed up a bit," mused Shining as he continued.
At last, Cadance smacked a forehoof to her muzzle. "Is it too late to return my husband and daughter? I think I was given faulty units," she grumbled to herself before collapsing to the floor in a faint.
FIN
Author's Note
Pretty sure that Flurry will need lots of therapy to sort out her predilections, but then again, she is a Sparkle, so if she saves the world a few times, it'll probably all be ignored. 
This was another fun one to write, despite coming in almost at the end of the Shining Armor is a terrible dad competition. I wish all the other authors who've submitted one or more stories the best of luck!
Once again, I want to thank Everfree Pony for their assistance with editing, especially since I had back-to-back stories for them to edit on short notice. 
~~Also EaW for making the Griffon pantheon and Maar about as chaotic evil as can be.~~
And yes, I did say back-to-back stories. Expect a bit more Flurry-ness in the near future, albeit, not tied to this competition.
Until next story!
T4E
