A Love to Endure an Eclipse

Subtle sensations playing upon your senses gradually pull you out of the darkness. You feel very warm, for one. It's right there at the threshold of being a discomfort.

Secondly, you feel a trembling sensation coursing through you - but not emanating from your own body. Feeling a bit confused and still just a bit drowsy, you decide to wait a moment before you crack an eyelid open.

At some point, you fell asleep with Luna in your arms. Stress – and at least for you personally, the lack of a decent night of rest – made a nap sound pretty nice to both of you.

It didn't help that in Luna's case, she was starting to feel gradual aches and pains creep into her body. 'The beast scratching at the door,' as she waxed so ominously.

It was not exactly a pleasant thought to have before falling asleep. But now, that thought gives you the kick in the pants to wake up, rather than drift back to sleep and ignore the oddities that stirred you to consciousness.

As light hits your eyes and forces you to squint, forms and colors emerge before any clear picture. Luna is still snuggled in your arms. But it becomes clear she is the source of the tremors. You feel her body still trembling, and the heat—

You feel like you're laying right up next to a furnace.

All pretenses for easing into the waking world go out the window as you force your eyes to deal with their sensitivity to light.

This isn't the Luna whose body you know so intimately. For one, her fur coat, much like her feathery wings earlier, has darkened. Rather than the gentle blue of a moonlit and star-spattered sky, her fur now is more akin to the darkness one would expect from an overcast sky with little illumination. Now, the spellwork that taints her hide reminds you of unknown shadows in the dead of night, dancing an unsettling number before popping out in a silvery glow.

Also coinciding with the changes her wings first underwent, Luna seems... larger. As if she has undergone a growth spurt.

Huddled up next to her, nose to nose and fully stretched out in relaxed bliss, you would normally feel her hooves end neatly with your toes. While you still have your shoes on, those legs obviously have more length to them now.

You can think more about this later – the more concerning question is her health. "Lu, hey," you whisper, giving her a bit of a squeeze and gentle shake to rouse her. "Luna, you with me?"

A groan escapes her lips, labored and reluctant.

Maybe you need to summon Celestia. What if Luna is seriously ill? You have nothing with which to care for her - if you even knew what was wrong.

"Luna, you gotta get up, hon."

"I'm awake," she grumbles.

You ease your arm out from underneath Luna while scooting back along the ground to give her some space. There's another pained groan during this process, as well as a sharp twinge from the muscles in her chest.

"Luna – I think you're sick," you inform her. "You feel really hot, and I - should I get Celestia?"

"I told you this would be happening, Anon," she replies, the drowsiness staining her voice doing little to mask the unexpected biting undertone. It's a little more than you would expect from a stubborn Luna on a slow morning.

"Sorry. I remembered you comparing it to being physically exhausted – I just woke up and could just feel the heat radiating off of you. It concerned me."

"That... pitting this against an illness might have been a better comparison," Luna admits, raising her head up off of the grass while rolling to her stomach. "Sorry."

"It's okay. Can't fault you for feeling like crap," you assure her.

Only now does she venture to open her eyes to look at you - which gives you pause once more. As if her irises had overtopped their dam, her normally white sclera have been tainted by a thin wash of turquoise. You push yourself off of the ground with an arm to sit upright, thinking what you see is just a trick of the light.

It isn't.

"It's my eyes, isn't it?" Luna guesses, taking note of your sudden movements.

"Yeah, they're a different color. The white parts."

"That's it?"

You're just as surprised by her befuddlement as she is about your response. "I have no idea what you're supposed to look like," you admit to her. "Back then, when it happened."

"There is not much in the way of description or images – but surely there are enough to give you a good idea."

"No, I mean I never looked into it at all," you clarify. "I know what happened, but I guess I never got that sort of curiosity to dive into it. Felt disrespectful to you, like digging up your past when it wasn't necessary."

"I'm— I don't really know what to say to that," Luna stutters. "Certainly you should not have felt bad for my sake. History is history."

"Yeah, I guess."

"History isn't always pleasant - sometimes it's dark and unsettling. But this is my history, Anonymous. It is not to be dismissed." She augments her sudden snappy cold tone and rather stern expression with a hoof firmly striking the ground in front of her.

It's now you're beginning to understand this isn't simply a moody Moonbutt. This is very likely the start of her mental changes.

Your heart sinks a bit with that resounding strike against your optimism. This is still progressing as normal; you're still of no help in the grand scheme of things. But it means now, more than ever, you need to stay strong. Don't get upset or take offense. Listen to your heart, not her words.

Easy to remember, but...

This is the first time things have truly felt off. The physical changes were something that in all reality, were set aside with relatively little issue. But now it feels like you're losing the mare you love. It's temporary, with the end in sight. But you still have to take the journey to get there. Keeping her in a positive would probably be best.

"Fair point, Lu," you acquiesce.

There's the faintest upturn at the corners of her mouth - but is quickly lost as a sudden wince of pain interrupts.

"What is it?"

"Just... everything hurts," she strains, closing her eyes and clenching her jaw.

You have to just sit and watch as she fights to endure her pain, the body tremors becoming more pronounced. You feel queasy being an audience member of this. Rather than do nothing, you close the gap between you and her and gently place a hand on her neck.

It feels like an inferno is blazing just underneath her skin, out of sight. What's more, the muscles underneath seem to throb and pulse, like her entire anatomy is trying to rearrange itself. That might not be far from the truth, and it sends a chill down your spine as you rub your hand up and down the side of her neck from jawline to shoulder.

"It never gets... any easier," she stammers through clenched teeth – clenched teeth that are starting to look like they belong to a predator rather than a pony. Her canines are particularly pointed and lengthened - just shy of full-on fangs.

But you don't bring any attention to it. There's no need for that. Watching her shake and grimace pushes away the doubts and concerns of 'losing' Luna. You force everything from your mind – apprehension, anxiety, thoughts about the future...

The only thing you care about is comforting your beloved through this as best you can.

This sudden painful fit carries on for a few more agonizing moments before her form begins to still. It offers an opportunity for the ailing alicorn to take a deep breath through her nostrils and out her slightly agape maw.

"Thanks," she says, sounding like she's still out of breath.

"Don't mention it."

Minutes in silence pass before either of you moves or speaks again.

"How much further does it have to go, Luna?" you ask, feeling a bit awkward inquiring about it.

Still a bit groggy, Luna slowly turns her head to take stock of her form. Both wings unfurl, revealing nothing more than an ink-black curtain of down, now devoid of any other hue.

You get a chance to glance over her again, noting that, while the rest of her coat is gradually darkening, one spot is exactly the opposite. The black splotches on her hindquarters appear to have not only lightened but gained some color – resulting in a very deep shade of plum.

Concurrently, Luna starts to rise up off the ground – albeit on a set of very unstable and wobbly legs.

"Hey, easy," you gasp, quickly bolting up to aid her standing or catch her if she falters.

"I'm fine!" she snaps, swiping at you with one of her wings.

Just because of instinct and the speed and force that she whips her wing at you, you jump back, stumbling with awkward footing before—

You freeze in mid-fall, the sensation giving you a quick jolt of vertigo. You glance around to figure out what happened to find that glowing blue energy surrounds you.

You don't have to look up to realize the mare you know has pushed aside the part of her that lashed out. Through your own movements and guidance under Luna's magic, you balance yourself back on two feet.

Luna, who has managed to stand during this whole menagerie, eases toward you on less-than-ideal footing.

One thing sticks out right now – she is big.

While normally she would be eye-level with your collar bones, Luna has drastically cut the size difference down – at the very least, her eyes are near level with yours now. Though she's still shorter than Celestia as well, considering Cel has a slight height advantage over you.

What's more – it's more apparent at this distance why she felt larger while embraced in your arms. While Luna still cuts a pleasing feminine and trim figure, there's a noticeable increase in muscle mass in her legs, her wings, her neck – basically everywhere. She's not a draft horse, but Luna no longer appears to be a featherweight, either.

Right now, Luna holds her head low, her ears folded back flat against her skull as sorrow fills her eyes and chisels a frown upon her face. "I would never - under any other circumstances I wouldn't—"

"I know," you comfort her.

"I think it would be best for you to summon my sister, Anon. I can't do this," she mutters, shaking her head.

"Luna, I want to be here with you, for you."

"And you have, Anon! You have!" she cries. "But being here now does you nor I any good. I have maybe but a few hours before the transformation is complete, and at that point, 'I' won't be here. Not really, in any sort of reasonable state of mind."

It's less of an explanation and more of a desperate, final plea from your love, even as she continues. "I had one final hope that I could control myself, keep everything... keeping myself here. But after already snapping at you twice, trying to hit you – I can't, Anon. I'm sorry," she finishes, devoid of any remaining optimism she once held as she hangs her head.

But you can't let go. Even though it's been unsettling watching her switch moods at the drop of a hat in the short amount of time the two of you have been awake – what if that's the line?

Moreso, leaving now just feels like you're giving up on her.

Abandoning her.

Your plan this whole time was to stick it through with her to the conclusion. That goal hasn't changed.

"No," you answer, stepping forward and coaxing her chin up with your hand.

"What do you mean no?" Her brow furrows in frustration as her eyes drill through you, but her tone remains calm.

"I'm not going to leave unless you're by my side, Moonbutt."

"Anon..."

"Nope."

"You can be such a stubborn fool," she mutters even as you wrap your arms around her neck. Her chin rests comfortably on top of your shoulder while you just hold her.

"I learned the stubborn bit from you," you remark. It's a comment you throw out there with more than a little truth to it.

There was a time early on, when both of you entertained the thought of dating, even as it appeared an unlikely reality. You were accepted into Equestria well enough, but a completely different species dating one of the princesses? How would that be taken not just by the kingdom, but by others across the world?

Celestia herself had reservations about the idea.

Luna would have none of the naysaying. She brushed it aside at first, keeping you and her a secret behind closed doors. But when push came to shove, Luna told you that if the crown would keep her a prisoner from what she wanted and how she could enjoy her life, she would throw it away. She seemed serious and prepared to tell her sister.

Luckily, it never came to that. Or maybe they had a talk without you knowing. Maybe it was seeing the joy you and her little sis shared just being with each other that put any downsides to bed.

Whatever it was, it seemed there were few, if any, negative reactions to the relationship from ponies of Equestria. Really, the only time you experienced it was speaking up during court with an opinion disliked by a quarreling party - and they already came in with a sour attitude.

Now, as you stroke Luna's fur, slicking back her mane that's become disheveled after a nap in the grass... all of it still feels familiar.

Eventually, you're forced to let go of Luna as she gently pulls away from you. "I want you to listen to me, even if you don't like it," she states in a firm tone.

"You can ask me again to leave, but—"

"Silence." Her face is stony, virtually devoid of emotion as her tone gets more stern. "If you are to stay here, you will promise me not to be a pushover."

You aren't sure what she's trying to get at here, but you'd rather not draw any ire that could bring her other side out any sooner than need be. Not that you're afraid of her – you couldn't be afraid of Moonbutt.

But you don't need to stoke the fire when she's fighting to keep it under control. Fortunately, your silence seems to clue her in on the requirement for clarification.

"I know you love me – you've shown it all the way through to now. And I love you dearly. We hold each other's hearts," she continues, gesturing from her chest to yours with a hoof. "But when the time comes, you can't do anything for me by bowing down to my whims."

"Listen to my heart, not your words," you repeat.

"Don't let me mistreat you. I know what the cold, dark side of me is capable of; do not tolerate it. She speaks nothing but ill and lies for her own perceived gain. Don't feed it, and if you cannot do that, leave." Like the drop of a hammer, her instructions end.

Really, you have no choice. You nod your head in agreement.

Luna exhales - out of relief, fatigue, or some other reason, you aren't sure. But she turns away and pads toward the rocky outcropping upon which you first encountered her during this descent. "I would like to feel some sense of peace in what time I have left. Please join me."

You nod and force yourself to smile for her. At the very least, you get to spend just a few peaceful moments with Luna again.

However, the wording she used makes you feel nauseous. You have to again remind yourself, this is temporary – and there was never any expectation from either sister before this experiment that you insisted upon.

It doesn't do anything to dampen the sense of failure you feel right now. There's not a thing you could have done differently – you know that. But as you relent and slowly make your way to the rock perch, you try to rerun the events in your mind, looking for something that might have had an effect.

You sit down beside Luna, who, on her haunches, seems to tower over you. She doesn't speak a word, nor glance at you – keeping her eyes forward on the illusionary valley below. The same valley that has been there this whole time.

Nothing has changed. But it's now at this moment that you notice the sound. Or lack thereof.

No sound from the river's waters, no birds. Not even the sound of a light breeze. It makes the scenery around you unsettling now that you've taken note of a detail making this world glaringly artificial.

But at least it's a nice view. Bright and vibrant - even though it should be cast in darkness.

You just try to lose your mind in... something. You have come to a point in time where this is truly a torturous waiting game for both of you. Maybe it would have been better to not have learned this secret. Ignorance is bliss and all that jazz.

At some point during this period of silence, you zone out – only coming back into consciousness as a black-feathered wing brushes against the back of your arm.

Your arm that is closest to her. And that is as far as she extends her limb.

You glance up at her again, though her eyes are still cast somewhere else, straight ahead. With a little apprehension, you bring yourself to reach a hand over and lightly pat her flank.

She probably notices but does not respond. The gesture ends up making you feel awkward, so you end up folding your hands in your lap and leaving her alone.

At least she didn't snap at you. A depressing way to look on the bright side, if there ever was one.

"The first time... when I thought I wanted it – it was painless," Luna comments aloud. "It was a dopamine rush, a surge of energy – and over in a flash. It has never been that way since then."

"Because you don't want it."

"Because I fight against it. I resist the changes as much as I can," she corrects you.

"But why? Why not just let it happen as it normally would if you didn't fight against it?"

Your response gets Luna's attention at once, her head sharply snapping down and in your direction. As you stare into her leering gaze, her pupils shrink - before expanding again in only the vertical axis.

Cat's eyes.

"You think I'm weak?" she snaps at you, her voice growing louder. "That I should just roll over and accept failure?" She stands up, turning to face you in an imposing manner.

"I didn't mean it like that, but you said—"

"I know what I said!"

Whether coincidence or a trigger, that shout abruptly causes Luna to drop like a sack of potatoes to the rocky surface beneath her, her hooves immediately covering her head as she yelps in pain.

"Luna!"

This time, you see the change as it happens, as her horn slowly begins to spiral out of her skull, lengthening bit by bit.

You— You don't know what to do. Instead, you're frozen while listening to these cries of anguish, watching this sickening spectacle as her entire form undergoes another growth spurt.

Her coat darkens into the same pitch black as her feathers had done before, while behind her, the markings on her flanks shift into a proper violet color. This time, even her mane is subject to the changes, the distinct blue, violet, and lavender all swirling together in a roiling storm, until it's a murky miasmic shade of blue, littered with more stars.

At some point, Luna begins to calm down, those frantic sounds of pain devolving into groans and whimpers. It's only now, despite the helpless guilt of sitting on the sidelines prior, that you move in toward her, off to the side. She still clutches her head in her hooves, obscuring her face.

"Luna..." Your soft call out to her does nothing to rouse the mare.

"Hey." You reach out and place a hand on her neck.

This time, her wing snaps open and slashes at you. You don't dodge it this time - getting whacked hard enough to knock you over and backward.

"Don't you dare touch me!"

Dazed by the shock, you prop yourself up on your elbows, the back of your head throbbing after connecting with solid rock.

No longer cowering in pain, Luna stands before you. No, she towers over you. Her face is twisted into a scowl as her eyes burn through you. "I am not your little cuddle pet," she hisses.

There's no compassion in her voice. No love or adoration in her eyes. You don't recognize this mare, inside or outside.

"Do something like that again without my permission and I won't be so nice." With that, she steps over your pathetic form as if to further insult you, before circling around and once again taking a seat at the edge of the dropoff, her back turned to you.

You've been holding your breath this whole time, and your lungs are starting to burn to remind you. A deep breath, and you properly sit upright. You can't help but just stare at Luna for some time while you rub your aching head. Yeah, pain is real here - but the check for blood on your hand comes up empty.

With no other alternatives, and with Luna obliged to ignore you, eventually you get back to your feet and walk back toward the oak where you had slept together what seemed like mere moments ago. For the first time, before you sit down, you check your pocket for the enchanted coin. Only to make sure it's still there, of course...

But as you sit in silence, it's hard to think of anything other than the current situation. Particularly, the sudden disdain your Moonbutt has for you. Maybe you got off on the wrong foot? A thought of desperation, but you don't like ignoring her while you sit in isolation.

You might have startled her a bit. With some glimmer of hope, you try to come up with something to start a conversation. But you can't come up with anything of substance...

"So, this is Nightmare Moon."

It feels weird to say that, considering this was your wife. No – Is your wife, just... different.

She turns her head, casting you a sideways glance. "I am the superior version of Luna - the real Luna," she says in a voice cold enough to make you shudder. "You sound disappointed."

"I'm... still in shock, I guess. And my head hurts," you admit, rubbing the back of your noggin. The pain is fading somewhat already.

"Are you looking for pity? You won't get it from me, Anonymous."

"No, I just feel like we got off to a bad start."

Your words cause Luna to completely turn her body around to face you. "A bad start? You act as if you have never met me. Your own wife," she responds, sounding just a bit hurt.

It makes the knot that's formed in your stomach tighten further. "I guess it's hard to fully understand the transformation. And I can't help but feel like I..."

You can't finish that sentence - because even though you want to say it, you know that you did nothing wrong.

"While I prefer my chosen name in this form, I am the same – my mind is merely free of the fog that plagues it constantly," she explains, her tone remaining quite stern as it loses any sense of empathy or pain.

"Fog?"

Lun— er, Nightmare Moon, just stares at you. Maybe you should have just stayed quiet...

"I don't think your mind will make sense of what I have to offer; I won't bother explaining it," she finally answers. "Are we done here? Because I don't feel like you actually care about what I have to say with the way you're looking at me."

"I'm trying, dear, but—"

"Don't belittle me with your pet names," she seethes, the sudden sharp tone and anger boiling up giving you a good view of her fangs.

"But you just said that I wasn't treating you like—"

"If you're trying to appear desperate, you're doing a fine job."

You drop your gaze to your lap, feeling utterly defeated. The way her mood switches at the drop of a hat is just so...

How do you make any sort of conversation She just seems like she wants to fight. That's not what you had in mind starting a dialogue.

You really need to just clear your head. Standing up, you cast a glance back at her. "I need to go for a walk. I'll be back," you tell her.

Without a word or any sort of care, Nightmare Moon turns away to face the valley floor once again.

You likewise turn away, and head down the dirt path that originally brought you up here.