Love In Fameby Rabbitude101ChaptersLove At First...Bump"Polite" PilotCanterlot-TidbitsLove At First...BumpThis story happened after Green Isn't Your Color. As told from the view of Photo Finish. I slowly zrotted out ov zhat lizzle building vhere Fluttershy had made me very convused. Vhy did she suddenly act zhis vay? She vas so nice, and gentle, and easy zo convince, so easy zo push, but zhen suddenly she said she vould not be coming zo any more modeling and everyzhing, I vondered. All of a sudden. Vhy? “OUCH!” I gasped. “Zhe mud von zhi khe…!” I let out a long string of German gibberish. Vhile pondering upon vhy Fluttershy had zhis sudden change in personality, I had not vatched vhere I vas valking, and no doubt I had bumped inzo zhis… “Oh vunderbar,” I said vith zhe slightest hint ov sarcasm in my sweet voice. Zhis, sissy stallion, vith curly mane and purple sunglasses, vas standing right bevore me. “Well, what a disgrace! You might want to apologize for bumping so rudely into me…?” I could zell by his tone he vas very annoyed. Vell I’ll give HIM a piece ov my mind! He, vho did not vatch vhere he vas valking and demanded ME to apologize! I zhought. “You! You demand ME zo say I am sorry vhen YOU are zhe one vho valked vight inzo me! I demand an apology from YOU! Vho exactly are you, you sissy, girly idiot!?” “Sissy!? GIRLY!? IDIOT!!!??? Well then, you owe me an apology for THAT, if not for bumping into the one and only, Hoity Toity!” “Vhat is vrong vith calling you sissy or girly vhen you ARE sissy or girly!? I am speaking zhe zruth! And for zhat, you must clean zhe lens ov my cameras, and give me an apology!” I vas probably screaming vight now. “Well! If you know me now, then it’s only fair if I know YOU! You! What is your name?” He yelled. Everypony vas literally staring at both ov us vight now. “I, Photo Finish, am zhe one and only…” But bevore I could vinish my sentence zhis rude, shades-vearing stallion inzerrupzed. “Yes, yes, I know you are “the one and only” Photo Finish. I am not stupid; anypony could recognize YOU from a mile away. I am asking, what authority do you have over me that you could so much as order me to apologize and call me a sissy, girly idiot?” He barked. I decided I cannot be vasting my zime like zhis. “I have ozher zhings zo do. I cannot vaste my zime like zhis! Good day! And I go!” I zurned and valked avay… or zried to valk avay. Zhat stallion vas gripping my sleeve vith his zeeth. Zhis stupid “Hoity Toity” still vanted somezhing!? Vell I’d give him something! I menzally challenged him. I zurned around and did vhat my precious mozher had alvays zaught me zo do vhen a stallion vould not leave me alone... hoov-punch, vight in zhe vace. “YEE-HEOW!” Good, I smiled. A good lesson vor a stupid pony. But zhen vhy did he vant zo keep me vaiting, pulling at my sleeve? I decided he had vallen in love vith my manners and delicacy. Yes, he looked quite dreamy now, closing his eyes, no, vait, more like crossing his eyes… “Humppphhhh!!!” I gasped as he heavily vell inzo my hooves. I’d made zhe zerrible mistake ov knocking him out cold. I remember punching ozher stallions before. Zhey never fainted like zhis! Ah, I’d forgotten. Zhis stallion is vashionista-stallion. Sissy, veak! Knocked out cold. I could have run avay, vhy didn’t I run avay! Now I’ve got zhis mess! I can’t leave him here, I despaired. I must bring him back zo my mansion, no mazzer how much I despised zhis “Hoity Toity”. Now how do I get him home? Ooh, I vorgot zhere are ponies all avound me, most ov zhem probably vatching me! I groaned in embarrassment. Everypony had seen vat I had done zo zhis poor stallion! I squeezed my eyes shut, and zurned my head. Get veady vor zhe vorse moment ov your live, Photo Finish! I had given so many vashion-shows, been recognized on zhe street so many zimes, and yet, yet, now I felt so ashamed getting recognized in public. They probably alveady recognized me! Shiny-white short hair, fancy dress, zhose shades on my eyes, the cyan color ov my coat… I opened my eyes and hung my head. Vhen I heard no laughing, no snickering, no giggling, I looked up. Nopony vas even looking at me! Every pony coming along zhis road just trotted or galloped by. “OOH!” I squealed a lizzle as a salty drop of sweat ran inzo my eye. I vas zhat nervous? I chuckled a lizzle at myself, how voolish I had been, how voolish I still vas. But zhen, iv nopony vas staring at me, looking at zhe least, I could get zhis stupid stallion zo my mansion. “It’s all your vault!” I harshly vhispered inzo his ear. He vas probably still unconscious, so I doubt zhat he heard me. I suddenly vound myself gazing fondly upon his vace… VAT!? No! I hate zhis pony, I zozally despise him! I just like a challenge, zhat's all. I’ll just get him home. It velt hopeless zo zry and get myself over zhis zhing. To get zhis stallion and myself home at both zhe same zime, I needed a unicorn vho could zeleport zhings ozher zhan herself. Zwilight Sparkle? Princess Celestia’s most prized student? Yes, Zwilight Sparkle vas zhe answer. Ah, and here she came, coming out ov zhat same lizzle building. I cleared my zhroat. “Your name? Zwilight Sparkle?” “Uh, yes?” She seemed quite surprised zhat I, Photo Finish vould ask for her presence. Most inzeresting. She defeated Equestria’s most zerrible enemies, and yet, she is afraid ov normal ponies? Anyvay, I continued. “Zhis, er, poor stallion has vainted. I need zo bring him back zo my house, vor vhat you Ponyville ponies call, er, TLC.” And suddenly zhis, orange filly vith purple hair, so young zhat she did not have a cutie mark, came up closer along vith two ozher fillies-one white one vith light purple and pink hair, and anozher vith yellow coat and red hair, vith a very vashionable red bow-and very rudely retorted, “TLC as in “tender loving care” or “totally lost cause”?” and zhe zhree fillies zrotted avay. I vas shocked by zhis filly I did not know and her rude vays, and I opened my mouth zo give her a piece of my mind, but zhen Zwilight quickly said, “Yes Photo Finish? I really need to get back to my library, so if you don’t mind, you could make this a little faster?” “Yes,” I replied. “I need you zo zeleport me and zhis stallion zo my house.” “Isn’t that Hoity Toi-“ “Yes!” I quickly said. I didn’t want her zo vonder vhat happened zo him. “You said you vere in a hurry…?” “Huh? Oh, uh, yes, yes, um, I’ll uh, get on with it then…” Her horn started zo glow faint purple and suddenly Hoity Toity and I vere levitated by her pink magic… POOF! Ve disappeared. "Polite" PilotAs told in the view of Hoity Toity. I opened my eyes and looked around. Wha-What is this place? And oh, how my cheek hurts! Ow, ow, ow, I complained to myself. Huh-this sofa is made of velvet. A wooden table? A shaded lamp? A chandelier?! I got up sharply, though my head really hurt from whatever that was. Ever since I felt the soft, expensive velvet on this couch I knew this must be the house of a fairly wealthy person. Then a varnished wooden table, a lamp which actually had a shade, a bright, shiny, beautiful chandelier! I owned that stuff too, and I, Hoity Toity, was a millionaire! Who else could be as rich as me? Great Barbaloots!!! I studied the furniture in this building-wait-this pony… can’t be… richer than me?! No, it must be a hotel! Nopony else could be so wealthy for such fancy house furniture. “Pah! So you vinally voke up, you veakling?” That mare again? “So, this is your house?” I said impudently, when I suddenly realized that I had asked her a stupid question. How could this heavenly mansion be her house? I already-probably correctly-assumed that this was a hotel. “I mean, why did you bring me to a hotel?” I quickly corrected myself. Nopony could break my pride. Nopony. Ugh, my cheek hurts when I talk. “Vhat?! A… a… HOTEL?!” Photo Finish screamed. It’s not a hotel? “Zell me,” she continued-her voice a bit tamer now-“Is zhere a-vhat do you call zhose-receptionist? Desk-mare? Desk-stallion? Desk-caretaker? Room-booker?...” That stupid mare, I rolled my eyes. “Just… just do “receptionist”.” I replied. “Yes, “receptionist”. Zell me, do you see a receptionist here zo book zhe rooms? Do you see any bellboys avound here zo carry your luggage? Do you see any shelf ov keys? Do you see ANYZHING zhat shows zhat zhis building is a hotel?!” She had slowly walked over to me all the time she was talk-no, screaming at me, and now she was making me deaf in both ears, plus spraying spit all over my-oh, my poor, poor face! “Well, I daresay, your disgusting, absolutely revolting saliva is spraying all over my precious, clea-well, used-to-be-clean main appearance!” I wish I could just tear Photo’s dress apart and use the pieces of cloth to wipe my darling face. But that is out of the question with THIS mare! I angrily grumbled to myself. She totally hates me, and I hate her! She is a doofus, a coconut, a roof-snatcher, a… I mumbled all sorts of things under my breath. While I was grumbling and mumbling, I hadn’t noticed, but I think Photo got absolutely angry. I don’t know exactly what WAS the fuss, but out of nowhere (well, maybe out of her arm socket) Photo’s arm swung up, came closer to my cheek-the one that hurt-and closer, closer, closer… “OOF!!!” My cheek that hurt so much now stung me like a bee-no, a wasp’s sting hurts more, yes-I mean, like a wasp. In fact, it swelled so much, I think I blacked out. When I painfully opened my eyes again, I was lying down on the floor, I think. Yes, the floor. There was no carpet, so my whole body ached from that fall… “EEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!” I screamed. Later Photo would never let me tell other ponies that “it was NOT like a girl’s scream, it was rather a manly scream.” Well, anyway, that scream was not unnecessary because my beautiful shape was covered in a blanket of bruises! If I sat, it hurt. If I stood, it hurt. Even if I mumbled, “Good morning,” it hurt. If I… “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know already! You don’t have zo repeat it each zime I come inzo zhe room!” I realized that I said all that stuff out loud-probably multiple times-and Photo Finish was very annoyed. “Huh!” I scoffed. “That shows how much you DON’T care about the guest in your house!” “Zhen, go home!” “I can’t! You gave me all these horrid bruises!” “Zhen vhat do you vant?!” Well that question was a surprise. “Well, what-what guts!” I choked. I just desperately needed to say something even if it didn’t make sense. “Well… then… what do YOU want from me?” I spluttered. I never acted like this before! I am Hoity Toity! I only live for my pride… right? Well anyways, now it was Photo’s turn to be caught off guard. “M-muh-muh-me?!” She stammered. Aha! She is worse than me! She stammers! “Vell, I uh, I… I… uh… vell, I don’t know.” Then she switched back to Photo Finish… style mode. “Vell, it vould be anyzhing but you staying in my house any longer!” I, Hoity Toity, was taken aback by this horrible statement. How dare this mare try to make me feel so inferior?! “What a despicable mare you are! And, I think I know my “want” now. I want to get out of this garbage dump, and I want to get away from this stinky mare that lives in it!” And with that, I stood up-because I had been sitting down- and, covered in bruises, I slowly, painfully, crawled to the door. Fortunately, Photo Finish doesn’t care much about her house being called a garbage dump. Unfortunately, she cares very much about her own smell. “ME?! A “STINKING MARE”?! I’LL TELL YOU WHO “STINKS” YOU IMBECILE, YOU COCONUT, YOU…!” I think I passed out at the last “you”. When I finally came to, I hoped this would be the last time today that I would be lying down on the floor unconscious. Wait, I’m on my back. How weird. And Photo Finish is standing next to me, looking very worried. No, scared. Anxious? Hold on a minute… “WWAAAHHHHH!!!!!” I yelled. I quickly sat up. Usually a character of high self-esteem would not do that, and I am one of them, but desperate times call for desperate measures. “What are you doing?!” I asked in shock. “Saving your live!” Photo replied. “Vhen you passed out, I saw zhat your heart vasn’t beating, so I did… uh… vhat do zhey call it?” “First-aid.” Deadpan face moment. Wait. If she did that first-aid thingy, that would mean she… “Did you… did you… KISS me?!” I madly shook her by the shoulders while she blushed blood red. “It’s not considered a kiss… it vas vor your live!” She half-mumbled half-spoke. “Why do you care for my life?” Huh. I knew she couldn’t resist me! “Because iv a dead body-Hoity Toity’s at zhat-is vound in here, vhat can I zell zhe Stallion Police Station zo clear myself?!” She shouted. Oh. It was for herself. It was for her life. For… for her own reputation. Why was I feeling sad? Because even a stupid stubborn mare doesn’t care for me, so why should others? That’s why. I let go of Photo’s shoulders and we both sat there on the floor, both feeling pitiful for ourselves, both feeling sympathy for each other, though both had no plans on showing that sympathy. Both acted too proud. Both were too proud. Canterlot-TidbitsAs told from the view of Hoity Toity. Photo Finish was on the phone, ordering our dinner. We were NOT on a date. I couldn’t go home. It was HER fault, not mine. She made me pass out three times-which wasted much of the night-that it was too late to walk home. Besides, I was covered in bruises. How could I make such a long journey anyway? “I ordered some Canterlot-Tidbits. Do you like zhose?” Photo asked. Canterlot-Tidbits? What are those? “I suppose I’ve heard of them before,” I replied stiffly. Photo gave me a “Really?” look and walked off. I sighed, relieved that she didn’t ask more, and painfully sat. No, actually, those bruises didn’t hurt much. It was just… a habit of mine… that I learned when I realized the Canterlot ponies wouldn’t pay any attention to you if you didn’t exaggerate everything which could be pitiful. I think Photo had that habit too. Suddenly, I remembered something… something which Photo Finish definitely did NOT take care of. Photo was speechless. “But-but I-I-oh, yes. I remember now. I-uh-knocked it ovv vhen I-uh… punched you.” She looked at the ground with her eyes, her head still up of course, her signature shades taken off, shuffling her fore-arms everywhere. “You knocked it OFF?! Those were-those were the most expensive pair I had! The brand embossed on the narrow sides! Charlie and Kneith!!!” I yelled. I was angry, so, so angry. And “angry” wasn’t enough! “When you knocked it off,” I continued, a bit calmer this time, “did they-did they… break?” I asked her fearfully. “Vell, I uh, I-didn’t see.” “I’m going back over there.” I couldn’t stand her anymore. I made a move, and got out of the mansion. My skin was clearly blue-black all over, but I didn’t care. Those shades were worth more than a few bruises. I was back. Back at that same old building. And there they were. My beautiful shades. Lying there, on the dirty ground. Not broken at least, but scratched. I'm gonna kill that sky-blue pony! A scratch, a horrible scratch, on these beautiful… Slowly, manly tears seeped into my eyes. But, with a wave of my hoof, they were gone. I must have revenge! When I was back in Photo’s mansion, I gently, lovingly laid my shades on the velvet sofa, and crept upstairs. Fortunately for me, Photo was in the bath. I quickly tiptoed to her room, picked up her own sunglasses, and flung them onto the ground. There, I wickedly smiled. Scratched those sunglasses were, almost as scratched as mine. I put them back on her bed, trotted back downstairs, frantically searched for a satin piece of cloth and some cleaning alcohol-which I found in a drawer labeled “SHADES”-cleaned my shades, returned the things back to the drawer, and laid my own sunglasses on the dining-table, clearly in sight. DING-DONG! I jumped. The noise frightened me half to death. Oh, the "Canterlot-Tidbits". I quickly set my shades on my nose, lifted my head high, and daintily walked to the door. “You ordered this ma-aahhhh-sir.” A brown pony hurriedly said. He passed the flat box to me and hurried off, getting comfortable on a scooter along with many other boxes and raced away. I stared at the box I was gripping in my hooves. “Canterlot Specialties” it said. Since I had no idea what “Canterlot Specialties” was, I just carefully shrugged, bit the box, hurriedly waddled over to the table and set it down. When I opened the box, a wonderful, steamy, sweet aroma came up my nose. Aaahhh. If this was the smell, think about the taste! “Stop contaminating zhe vood vith your dirty snout, you greedy-grubber!” I looked up, more than shocked. Then I remembered The Camera. “Well I… am starving! So if you could hurry up with whatever duties of yours, hmm?” I replied. “I haven’t anyzhing. Get a plate vrom zhe kitchen and get out vhatever you vant vrom zhe box.” The Camera slowly took a seat. Slightly scowling, I got up with more-then-necessary noise, took out a prettily decorated plate from a cupboard, walked back, and sat down again. “Look here dainty stallion. Zhere is zwo ov each zype ov Tidbit. You vill zake one, and I vill zake zhe ozher, and both ov us vill have one ov each kind, zo be vair. Understood?” She grumbled, leaning over the table. I nodded, a bored look on my face. She leaned back and helped herself to a piece. As the Tidbits were only a bite-size each piece, dinner was soon over. About three hours later, I emerged from “my” room, wearing one of The Camera’s older brother’s pajamas. They fitted quite nicely. She didn’t tell me about her brother. At around the same time I did, The Camera opened her bedroom door. She walked over and gripped my shirt collar, lifting me up from the floor. What a freak. She's stronger then me-“Guh,” I gasped. My neck really hurt… “I vant zo sleep as peacevully as I do ozher nights. So, you are having a little sleepover at my place, but you do NOT interfere vith my sleep, you understand?” She said threateningly, her face really, REALLY close. I frantically nodded yes, for I couldn’t breathe. “Good,” she smiled, released her grip with a forceful push-I “OOF”ed here-turned, and haughtily walked away. Huh, she's got swag, this mare. A slam of her bedroom door made me jump. Once again, for the second time today, she scared me half to death. UGH, I rolled my eyes. What was her problem? I'm a mean old sky-blue mare who only talks nicely to a certain "Fluttershy" and nopony else! Tomorrow, I’d be leaving this dreadful garbage dump. Hold on, I heard something coming from Photo’s room. Giggling? No, it couldn’t be. Choking? Yeah right, as if! Crying? That’s more like it. I slowly moved closer to her door and leaned the side of my head on it. Yes, it was weeping. I carefully turned the doorknob and peered inside. The Camera was facing her balcony away from me, lying in bed. I could hear her sobs more clearly now. She was also mumbling something; I couldn’t make out what. All I heard was: “Oh… brother… why… you… do… help… heart… leave… ignored… why…”
Love At First...BumpThis story happened after Green Isn't Your Color. As told from the view of Photo Finish. I slowly zrotted out ov zhat lizzle building vhere Fluttershy had made me very convused. Vhy did she suddenly act zhis vay? She vas so nice, and gentle, and easy zo convince, so easy zo push, but zhen suddenly she said she vould not be coming zo any more modeling and everyzhing, I vondered. All of a sudden. Vhy? “OUCH!” I gasped. “Zhe mud von zhi khe…!” I let out a long string of German gibberish. Vhile pondering upon vhy Fluttershy had zhis sudden change in personality, I had not vatched vhere I vas valking, and no doubt I had bumped inzo zhis… “Oh vunderbar,” I said vith zhe slightest hint ov sarcasm in my sweet voice. Zhis, sissy stallion, vith curly mane and purple sunglasses, vas standing right bevore me. “Well, what a disgrace! You might want to apologize for bumping so rudely into me…?” I could zell by his tone he vas very annoyed. Vell I’ll give HIM a piece ov my mind! He, vho did not vatch vhere he vas valking and demanded ME to apologize! I zhought. “You! You demand ME zo say I am sorry vhen YOU are zhe one vho valked vight inzo me! I demand an apology from YOU! Vho exactly are you, you sissy, girly idiot!?” “Sissy!? GIRLY!? IDIOT!!!??? Well then, you owe me an apology for THAT, if not for bumping into the one and only, Hoity Toity!” “Vhat is vrong vith calling you sissy or girly vhen you ARE sissy or girly!? I am speaking zhe zruth! And for zhat, you must clean zhe lens ov my cameras, and give me an apology!” I vas probably screaming vight now. “Well! If you know me now, then it’s only fair if I know YOU! You! What is your name?” He yelled. Everypony vas literally staring at both ov us vight now. “I, Photo Finish, am zhe one and only…” But bevore I could vinish my sentence zhis rude, shades-vearing stallion inzerrupzed. “Yes, yes, I know you are “the one and only” Photo Finish. I am not stupid; anypony could recognize YOU from a mile away. I am asking, what authority do you have over me that you could so much as order me to apologize and call me a sissy, girly idiot?” He barked. I decided I cannot be vasting my zime like zhis. “I have ozher zhings zo do. I cannot vaste my zime like zhis! Good day! And I go!” I zurned and valked avay… or zried to valk avay. Zhat stallion vas gripping my sleeve vith his zeeth. Zhis stupid “Hoity Toity” still vanted somezhing!? Vell I’d give him something! I menzally challenged him. I zurned around and did vhat my precious mozher had alvays zaught me zo do vhen a stallion vould not leave me alone... hoov-punch, vight in zhe vace. “YEE-HEOW!” Good, I smiled. A good lesson vor a stupid pony. But zhen vhy did he vant zo keep me vaiting, pulling at my sleeve? I decided he had vallen in love vith my manners and delicacy. Yes, he looked quite dreamy now, closing his eyes, no, vait, more like crossing his eyes… “Humppphhhh!!!” I gasped as he heavily vell inzo my hooves. I’d made zhe zerrible mistake ov knocking him out cold. I remember punching ozher stallions before. Zhey never fainted like zhis! Ah, I’d forgotten. Zhis stallion is vashionista-stallion. Sissy, veak! Knocked out cold. I could have run avay, vhy didn’t I run avay! Now I’ve got zhis mess! I can’t leave him here, I despaired. I must bring him back zo my mansion, no mazzer how much I despised zhis “Hoity Toity”. Now how do I get him home? Ooh, I vorgot zhere are ponies all avound me, most ov zhem probably vatching me! I groaned in embarrassment. Everypony had seen vat I had done zo zhis poor stallion! I squeezed my eyes shut, and zurned my head. Get veady vor zhe vorse moment ov your live, Photo Finish! I had given so many vashion-shows, been recognized on zhe street so many zimes, and yet, yet, now I felt so ashamed getting recognized in public. They probably alveady recognized me! Shiny-white short hair, fancy dress, zhose shades on my eyes, the cyan color ov my coat… I opened my eyes and hung my head. Vhen I heard no laughing, no snickering, no giggling, I looked up. Nopony vas even looking at me! Every pony coming along zhis road just trotted or galloped by. “OOH!” I squealed a lizzle as a salty drop of sweat ran inzo my eye. I vas zhat nervous? I chuckled a lizzle at myself, how voolish I had been, how voolish I still vas. But zhen, iv nopony vas staring at me, looking at zhe least, I could get zhis stupid stallion zo my mansion. “It’s all your vault!” I harshly vhispered inzo his ear. He vas probably still unconscious, so I doubt zhat he heard me. I suddenly vound myself gazing fondly upon his vace… VAT!? No! I hate zhis pony, I zozally despise him! I just like a challenge, zhat's all. I’ll just get him home. It velt hopeless zo zry and get myself over zhis zhing. To get zhis stallion and myself home at both zhe same zime, I needed a unicorn vho could zeleport zhings ozher zhan herself. Zwilight Sparkle? Princess Celestia’s most prized student? Yes, Zwilight Sparkle vas zhe answer. Ah, and here she came, coming out ov zhat same lizzle building. I cleared my zhroat. “Your name? Zwilight Sparkle?” “Uh, yes?” She seemed quite surprised zhat I, Photo Finish vould ask for her presence. Most inzeresting. She defeated Equestria’s most zerrible enemies, and yet, she is afraid ov normal ponies? Anyvay, I continued. “Zhis, er, poor stallion has vainted. I need zo bring him back zo my house, vor vhat you Ponyville ponies call, er, TLC.” And suddenly zhis, orange filly vith purple hair, so young zhat she did not have a cutie mark, came up closer along vith two ozher fillies-one white one vith light purple and pink hair, and anozher vith yellow coat and red hair, vith a very vashionable red bow-and very rudely retorted, “TLC as in “tender loving care” or “totally lost cause”?” and zhe zhree fillies zrotted avay. I vas shocked by zhis filly I did not know and her rude vays, and I opened my mouth zo give her a piece of my mind, but zhen Zwilight quickly said, “Yes Photo Finish? I really need to get back to my library, so if you don’t mind, you could make this a little faster?” “Yes,” I replied. “I need you zo zeleport me and zhis stallion zo my house.” “Isn’t that Hoity Toi-“ “Yes!” I quickly said. I didn’t want her zo vonder vhat happened zo him. “You said you vere in a hurry…?” “Huh? Oh, uh, yes, yes, um, I’ll uh, get on with it then…” Her horn started zo glow faint purple and suddenly Hoity Toity and I vere levitated by her pink magic… POOF! Ve disappeared.
"Polite" PilotAs told in the view of Hoity Toity. I opened my eyes and looked around. Wha-What is this place? And oh, how my cheek hurts! Ow, ow, ow, I complained to myself. Huh-this sofa is made of velvet. A wooden table? A shaded lamp? A chandelier?! I got up sharply, though my head really hurt from whatever that was. Ever since I felt the soft, expensive velvet on this couch I knew this must be the house of a fairly wealthy person. Then a varnished wooden table, a lamp which actually had a shade, a bright, shiny, beautiful chandelier! I owned that stuff too, and I, Hoity Toity, was a millionaire! Who else could be as rich as me? Great Barbaloots!!! I studied the furniture in this building-wait-this pony… can’t be… richer than me?! No, it must be a hotel! Nopony else could be so wealthy for such fancy house furniture. “Pah! So you vinally voke up, you veakling?” That mare again? “So, this is your house?” I said impudently, when I suddenly realized that I had asked her a stupid question. How could this heavenly mansion be her house? I already-probably correctly-assumed that this was a hotel. “I mean, why did you bring me to a hotel?” I quickly corrected myself. Nopony could break my pride. Nopony. Ugh, my cheek hurts when I talk. “Vhat?! A… a… HOTEL?!” Photo Finish screamed. It’s not a hotel? “Zell me,” she continued-her voice a bit tamer now-“Is zhere a-vhat do you call zhose-receptionist? Desk-mare? Desk-stallion? Desk-caretaker? Room-booker?...” That stupid mare, I rolled my eyes. “Just… just do “receptionist”.” I replied. “Yes, “receptionist”. Zell me, do you see a receptionist here zo book zhe rooms? Do you see any bellboys avound here zo carry your luggage? Do you see any shelf ov keys? Do you see ANYZHING zhat shows zhat zhis building is a hotel?!” She had slowly walked over to me all the time she was talk-no, screaming at me, and now she was making me deaf in both ears, plus spraying spit all over my-oh, my poor, poor face! “Well, I daresay, your disgusting, absolutely revolting saliva is spraying all over my precious, clea-well, used-to-be-clean main appearance!” I wish I could just tear Photo’s dress apart and use the pieces of cloth to wipe my darling face. But that is out of the question with THIS mare! I angrily grumbled to myself. She totally hates me, and I hate her! She is a doofus, a coconut, a roof-snatcher, a… I mumbled all sorts of things under my breath. While I was grumbling and mumbling, I hadn’t noticed, but I think Photo got absolutely angry. I don’t know exactly what WAS the fuss, but out of nowhere (well, maybe out of her arm socket) Photo’s arm swung up, came closer to my cheek-the one that hurt-and closer, closer, closer… “OOF!!!” My cheek that hurt so much now stung me like a bee-no, a wasp’s sting hurts more, yes-I mean, like a wasp. In fact, it swelled so much, I think I blacked out. When I painfully opened my eyes again, I was lying down on the floor, I think. Yes, the floor. There was no carpet, so my whole body ached from that fall… “EEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!” I screamed. Later Photo would never let me tell other ponies that “it was NOT like a girl’s scream, it was rather a manly scream.” Well, anyway, that scream was not unnecessary because my beautiful shape was covered in a blanket of bruises! If I sat, it hurt. If I stood, it hurt. Even if I mumbled, “Good morning,” it hurt. If I… “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know already! You don’t have zo repeat it each zime I come inzo zhe room!” I realized that I said all that stuff out loud-probably multiple times-and Photo Finish was very annoyed. “Huh!” I scoffed. “That shows how much you DON’T care about the guest in your house!” “Zhen, go home!” “I can’t! You gave me all these horrid bruises!” “Zhen vhat do you vant?!” Well that question was a surprise. “Well, what-what guts!” I choked. I just desperately needed to say something even if it didn’t make sense. “Well… then… what do YOU want from me?” I spluttered. I never acted like this before! I am Hoity Toity! I only live for my pride… right? Well anyways, now it was Photo’s turn to be caught off guard. “M-muh-muh-me?!” She stammered. Aha! She is worse than me! She stammers! “Vell, I uh, I… I… uh… vell, I don’t know.” Then she switched back to Photo Finish… style mode. “Vell, it vould be anyzhing but you staying in my house any longer!” I, Hoity Toity, was taken aback by this horrible statement. How dare this mare try to make me feel so inferior?! “What a despicable mare you are! And, I think I know my “want” now. I want to get out of this garbage dump, and I want to get away from this stinky mare that lives in it!” And with that, I stood up-because I had been sitting down- and, covered in bruises, I slowly, painfully, crawled to the door. Fortunately, Photo Finish doesn’t care much about her house being called a garbage dump. Unfortunately, she cares very much about her own smell. “ME?! A “STINKING MARE”?! I’LL TELL YOU WHO “STINKS” YOU IMBECILE, YOU COCONUT, YOU…!” I think I passed out at the last “you”. When I finally came to, I hoped this would be the last time today that I would be lying down on the floor unconscious. Wait, I’m on my back. How weird. And Photo Finish is standing next to me, looking very worried. No, scared. Anxious? Hold on a minute… “WWAAAHHHHH!!!!!” I yelled. I quickly sat up. Usually a character of high self-esteem would not do that, and I am one of them, but desperate times call for desperate measures. “What are you doing?!” I asked in shock. “Saving your live!” Photo replied. “Vhen you passed out, I saw zhat your heart vasn’t beating, so I did… uh… vhat do zhey call it?” “First-aid.” Deadpan face moment. Wait. If she did that first-aid thingy, that would mean she… “Did you… did you… KISS me?!” I madly shook her by the shoulders while she blushed blood red. “It’s not considered a kiss… it vas vor your live!” She half-mumbled half-spoke. “Why do you care for my life?” Huh. I knew she couldn’t resist me! “Because iv a dead body-Hoity Toity’s at zhat-is vound in here, vhat can I zell zhe Stallion Police Station zo clear myself?!” She shouted. Oh. It was for herself. It was for her life. For… for her own reputation. Why was I feeling sad? Because even a stupid stubborn mare doesn’t care for me, so why should others? That’s why. I let go of Photo’s shoulders and we both sat there on the floor, both feeling pitiful for ourselves, both feeling sympathy for each other, though both had no plans on showing that sympathy. Both acted too proud. Both were too proud.
Canterlot-TidbitsAs told from the view of Hoity Toity. Photo Finish was on the phone, ordering our dinner. We were NOT on a date. I couldn’t go home. It was HER fault, not mine. She made me pass out three times-which wasted much of the night-that it was too late to walk home. Besides, I was covered in bruises. How could I make such a long journey anyway? “I ordered some Canterlot-Tidbits. Do you like zhose?” Photo asked. Canterlot-Tidbits? What are those? “I suppose I’ve heard of them before,” I replied stiffly. Photo gave me a “Really?” look and walked off. I sighed, relieved that she didn’t ask more, and painfully sat. No, actually, those bruises didn’t hurt much. It was just… a habit of mine… that I learned when I realized the Canterlot ponies wouldn’t pay any attention to you if you didn’t exaggerate everything which could be pitiful. I think Photo had that habit too. Suddenly, I remembered something… something which Photo Finish definitely did NOT take care of. Photo was speechless. “But-but I-I-oh, yes. I remember now. I-uh-knocked it ovv vhen I-uh… punched you.” She looked at the ground with her eyes, her head still up of course, her signature shades taken off, shuffling her fore-arms everywhere. “You knocked it OFF?! Those were-those were the most expensive pair I had! The brand embossed on the narrow sides! Charlie and Kneith!!!” I yelled. I was angry, so, so angry. And “angry” wasn’t enough! “When you knocked it off,” I continued, a bit calmer this time, “did they-did they… break?” I asked her fearfully. “Vell, I uh, I-didn’t see.” “I’m going back over there.” I couldn’t stand her anymore. I made a move, and got out of the mansion. My skin was clearly blue-black all over, but I didn’t care. Those shades were worth more than a few bruises. I was back. Back at that same old building. And there they were. My beautiful shades. Lying there, on the dirty ground. Not broken at least, but scratched. I'm gonna kill that sky-blue pony! A scratch, a horrible scratch, on these beautiful… Slowly, manly tears seeped into my eyes. But, with a wave of my hoof, they were gone. I must have revenge! When I was back in Photo’s mansion, I gently, lovingly laid my shades on the velvet sofa, and crept upstairs. Fortunately for me, Photo was in the bath. I quickly tiptoed to her room, picked up her own sunglasses, and flung them onto the ground. There, I wickedly smiled. Scratched those sunglasses were, almost as scratched as mine. I put them back on her bed, trotted back downstairs, frantically searched for a satin piece of cloth and some cleaning alcohol-which I found in a drawer labeled “SHADES”-cleaned my shades, returned the things back to the drawer, and laid my own sunglasses on the dining-table, clearly in sight. DING-DONG! I jumped. The noise frightened me half to death. Oh, the "Canterlot-Tidbits". I quickly set my shades on my nose, lifted my head high, and daintily walked to the door. “You ordered this ma-aahhhh-sir.” A brown pony hurriedly said. He passed the flat box to me and hurried off, getting comfortable on a scooter along with many other boxes and raced away. I stared at the box I was gripping in my hooves. “Canterlot Specialties” it said. Since I had no idea what “Canterlot Specialties” was, I just carefully shrugged, bit the box, hurriedly waddled over to the table and set it down. When I opened the box, a wonderful, steamy, sweet aroma came up my nose. Aaahhh. If this was the smell, think about the taste! “Stop contaminating zhe vood vith your dirty snout, you greedy-grubber!” I looked up, more than shocked. Then I remembered The Camera. “Well I… am starving! So if you could hurry up with whatever duties of yours, hmm?” I replied. “I haven’t anyzhing. Get a plate vrom zhe kitchen and get out vhatever you vant vrom zhe box.” The Camera slowly took a seat. Slightly scowling, I got up with more-then-necessary noise, took out a prettily decorated plate from a cupboard, walked back, and sat down again. “Look here dainty stallion. Zhere is zwo ov each zype ov Tidbit. You vill zake one, and I vill zake zhe ozher, and both ov us vill have one ov each kind, zo be vair. Understood?” She grumbled, leaning over the table. I nodded, a bored look on my face. She leaned back and helped herself to a piece. As the Tidbits were only a bite-size each piece, dinner was soon over. About three hours later, I emerged from “my” room, wearing one of The Camera’s older brother’s pajamas. They fitted quite nicely. She didn’t tell me about her brother. At around the same time I did, The Camera opened her bedroom door. She walked over and gripped my shirt collar, lifting me up from the floor. What a freak. She's stronger then me-“Guh,” I gasped. My neck really hurt… “I vant zo sleep as peacevully as I do ozher nights. So, you are having a little sleepover at my place, but you do NOT interfere vith my sleep, you understand?” She said threateningly, her face really, REALLY close. I frantically nodded yes, for I couldn’t breathe. “Good,” she smiled, released her grip with a forceful push-I “OOF”ed here-turned, and haughtily walked away. Huh, she's got swag, this mare. A slam of her bedroom door made me jump. Once again, for the second time today, she scared me half to death. UGH, I rolled my eyes. What was her problem? I'm a mean old sky-blue mare who only talks nicely to a certain "Fluttershy" and nopony else! Tomorrow, I’d be leaving this dreadful garbage dump. Hold on, I heard something coming from Photo’s room. Giggling? No, it couldn’t be. Choking? Yeah right, as if! Crying? That’s more like it. I slowly moved closer to her door and leaned the side of my head on it. Yes, it was weeping. I carefully turned the doorknob and peered inside. The Camera was facing her balcony away from me, lying in bed. I could hear her sobs more clearly now. She was also mumbling something; I couldn’t make out what. All I heard was: “Oh… brother… why… you… do… help… heart… leave… ignored… why…”
