All Dads need to tell at least one outrageous lie a week or they spontaneously combust.
Mornings had become one of Shining Armors favorite times of the day. With the rank of both Prince and Hight Admiral of The Crystal Army, he now had days where he was able to simply enjoy his mornings with his family. And today his family was temporarily rising in present numbers.
His parents had decided to come for a week-long visit to enjoy the Empire’s delicate spring-season (and engage in some pampering of their grandchild).
Shining had managed to clear his schedule, while Cadance had left quite early and was hoping to able to join them all sometime after noon. Shining had offered to meet them at the train station, but Night Light and Twilight Velvet had decided they wanted to take the stroll from the station to the Castle on their own.
So, at this moment the breakfast table was only populated by Shining, who was doing something so rare and precious as simply drinking a nice cup of tea and reading a newspaper. And Flurry, who had grown past her initial toddler stage of destructive exploration, to a slightly less explosive, much more subtle age of inquisitive experimentation. Which still included the occasional destruction. And thus the little alicorn was currently systematically deconstructing her pancakes.
Then there were the questions. So many questions.
Shiny did not mind, questions meant his daughter was thinking, and thinking meant less destruction. At least initially, as thinking about stuff did sometimes lead to some rather impressive destruction later on.
“Da?” she said as she stared curiously at her breakfast. “why are blu’berri’ call’ blu? They are ‘urple when we eats them.”
Shining casually took a sip of his tea.
“Well, if look at them before you smash them, they do look sorta bluish. And whoever first found them must have thought that that color was the best way to describe them.”
Flurry scrunched her brow in though and then buried her pancakes in whipped cream.
“Da? Why is cream white?”
Shiny smiled at her. “Because milk is white, and cream come from milk. – And” he quickly continued as he saw Flurry open her mouth for a follow-up question. “If you ask why milk is white, you should ask your aunty Twilight, she knows more about complicated stuff like that.”
“Huh.” Flurry tilted her head. “Aunty Twilight know so much’.”
“That she does.” Shining nodded and turned a page.
Flurry shifted slightly in her chair, took a bite of cream with pancakes, and flapped her wings slightly
“No flapping at the table Snowflake.” Shining did not even look away from his paper.
Flurry frowned at the old reprimand, and carefully folded her wings back at her sides. Then slowly unfolded them again, stretching each primary feather to their fullest. Looked at her wings, then at her dad, back at her wings, and then once more towards Shining.
“Da? Why don’ you have wings?”
Shining lowered his paper. “What do you mean Flurry?”
Flurry fidgeted at bit, moving, but not flapping her wings. “I hav’ wings, Ma hav’ wings, aunty Twilight hav’ wings, an’ aunty Celestia an’ aunty Luna hav’ wings. Why don’ you hav’ wings Da?
Shining huffed with a faint smile, and placed the newspaper on the table as he opened his mouth to answer.
And then he stopped.
While there was a perfectly good way to answer, Shining was now a Dad, and the things about Dads are that they will all reach moments where they have the choice to be good proper fathers.
Or to be terrible Dads.
And in this moment Shining made a choice, *the* choice.
To Be a terrible Dad.
And so he carefully pushed his newspaper to the side, took a sip of his tea, looked right at his sweet little daughter, and smiled as he answered.
“Well, I used to have wings. Back when I was younger, as it used to be with all ponies.”
Flurry’s eyes grew huge. “Real’? But, but then what happ’en?” And she gasped. “Di’ they fall off? Can that hap’?” with a faint look of panic she turned and intensely inspected the spot on her back where her wings connected to the rest of her. “Can mine fall of??”
Shining hummed a bit. “Well, I have heard it happen very rarely, but that is not what happened to mine.”
Flurry whipped her head back to her dad. “Then what hap’?”
“Oh, an ogre bit them of. That is what happens to most wings.” Shining took another sip of tea.
“Ogr’?” Flurry stared at him.
“Yep, nasty things they are, always looking around for tasty wings to munch on. There used to be a lot of them in them in the world. Why, when I started to go to school it was a game to see who could outrun them the fastest.”
Shining nodded sagely, and then let out a sad little sigh.
“Poor Spearhead lived so far away from school, he was the first in my class to lose his wings.”
“But why di’ you not fly?” Flurry stood up and planted her front hoofs on the table, narrowly missing her pancakes.
“Well, you see,” Shining looked into his teacup with a slight frown, “some of the ogres had wings as well, and they would team up, so being in the sky was the absolute worst thing you could do. It was better to run as fast as you could and try to hide. Ogres are pretty large and stupid you see.”
“But aunty Celestia wul’ nev’ let big monst’s run arou’n an’ eat pony wings! She wul’ not!” Flury declared with a disgusted shout, slamming down her hoofs, making the cream-pancakes wobble dangerously.
“She tried to stop them, she really did.” Shining shook his head gravely. “But there was simply too many. When I was a guard in Canterlot we spend most of our time helping her protecting the ponies who still had their wings.” Shining paused. “And horns, they really like to eat horns as well.” He waved at his own horn. “Some of the ogres also had two heads, and those ones would try to bite off your wings and your horn at the same time.”
He stopped as he noticed Flurry had leaned forward, head slightly tilted and eyes narrow in suspicion.
“Ah, but well. It was not until Princess Luna returned that Celestia finally got the help she needed, and together they finally managed to make all the ogres leave Equestria. You are very lucky that you were born after this happened.”
Flurry kept looking intensely at Shining, scrunching her little pink snout. Shining did not look back, instead reaching for the teapot and filling up his cup.
“But,” Flurry then said, sitting back on her chair. “I know lots’t of foals who nev’ ha’ wings, or horn.”
“Yes, ponies started getting born without horns and wings some years ago, Celestia and Luna hopes that now that the ogres are gone it wont take long before things return to normal.” He sighed dramatically. “But we don’t really know.” He looked back at Flurry and beamed. “Your mother and I was so relived to see you had both when you were born.”
Flurry poked her pancakes a bit, clearly deep in thought. “All ol’ pony ha’ wings? An’ horns?”
“Yes”
“But big mean ogr’ ate them?”
“Both at the same time, if you were unlucky.”
Flurry rolled a blueberry out of the mass of cream-drowned breakfast and swallowed it.
“You lie.” She then declared, looking up at Shining with a pout. “Big lie lie’r.”
“Flurry, I would never lie about something so serious.” Shining pressed a hoof against his chest in aghast disapproval.
Flurry opened her mouth for a reply, but was interrupted by a guard entering the room, followed by a familiar blue unicorn.
“Your guests have arrived, your highness.” They bowed and left Night Light to walk up to the table on his own.
“Velvet is putting our baggage in the rooms. I know you got servants to do it, but you know how your mother gets abou -Oof.”
A small pink blur had rammed into the elder unicorn.
“Gra’da! Gra’da! Da’ say he ha’ wings, but big ogr’ monst’ bit them off!” Flurry looked up at him with an indignant frown, headbutting his knees gently.
Night Light looked in slight confusion at his granddaughter, then up at his son, who had stepped away from the breakfast table.
And who was sporting a faint sheepish grin.
In that moment a wave of deep and ancient understanding transpired between two fathers.
Unfortunately for Flurry her grandfather was also a Dad. And even if his children had grown into their own lives, he was still a Dad, and so was tempted by that same terrible urge.
The urge to be a terrible Dad.
“Oh yes, mine was bitten of by a really big green beast. I was trying to save you grandmother's wings, but alas, hers was bitten of only a few days later.”
“Indeed.” Shining nodded. “Granddad has told me and Twilight that story many times. In fact, Granddad should tell you the whole story one day.” He winked at Night Light. “It is also the story about how your grandparents met each other.”
Flurry’s eyes grew large, and for a short moment she stared, jaw fallen to her chest.
“No!”
“Yes.” Nigh Light gently said. “But it is quite a scary story, so perhaps it should wait until you are a bit bigger.” He then winked back at Shining. “You know, you are a very lucky little filly to have your wings still. But don’t you worry, your mom and dad will do all they can to make sure no nasty monsters come and bite off your wings. And so will your grandma and grandpa, now that we are here.”
“Not that there are many to look out for, I have never heard of any ogres who have gotten all the way to the Crystal Empire for many many years.” Shining walked up and gently petted Flurry Heart’s head. “Unless of course, some of them managed to hide on the train.”
Night Light tilted his head. “Hmm, I do recall a bit of a ruckus at one point.”
Shining slipped into his Very-Important-Admiral stance. “That *is* concerning, perhaps I should ask the guards to check, just to be sure.”
Flurry looked back and forth between Shining and Night Light, and then let out a squeal.
“Lie! You lie!! The’se no Ogr’! Imma go tell Gra’ma you lie!”
Eyes a little bit too wide, the tiny princess took off in direction of the guestrooms. Wings carefully clamped at her sides.
The two stallions stood for a moment, listening to Flurry’s hurried hoofsteps.
“So how long do you think this will last?”
“Until Cadance comes back, or sooner, if she manages to make Mum understand what we told her.”
“Well, your mother does like tall tales, she might keep up the charade.”
“You think so?”
Night Light shrugged. “Depends on how frightened Flurry is, your mother does believe in a good amount of thrill in your life. Imaginative monsters are a good start for foals. But she won’t let her be utterly terrified.”
Shining rubbed his chin with a hoof. “Flurry could end up seeing it as a challenge. If I get to Cadance first, we could spin it as a new game.”
Night Light hummed. “That could be, at least until Flurry talks about it near Twilight.”
“Oh!” Shining grinned in delight. “That would be amazing. Can you imagine her trying to figure out the correct way to explain the truth? You know how stubborn Flurry gets once an idea takes root.”
Night Light shook his head with a wry grin. “You are a terrible brother.”
Shining threw his head back with a dramatic flair. “As I see it, being a terrible brother was the perfect way to practice being a dad.”
“Oh? And here I thought you had simply learned from the best.”
“Pff, and let you take the credit for my brilliance?”
“I think you might have been a bit inspired.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Is that so? Because I remember a young colt who wouldn’t eat gooseberries for ages.”
“I still haven’t forgiven you for that one.”
Author's Note
Dedicated to my Dad, who is a terrible terrible Dad. And my Great-Grandmother, who helped him convince my little sister that humans used to have lizard tails, but they all got bitten off by dinosaurs
