Knock. Knock. Knock.

Tarsus’s eyes gently open, his vision blurry and unfocused. An almost inaudible groan escapes his lips as he rolls over in bed, closing his eyes once more when the sun’s rays pouring through his window land directly on his face.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Oh, Celestia, WHAT?!”

“Bud, you’ve been in bed almost a full 24 hours. I know you wanted some alone time, but please at least come get some food. I just made lunch.”

The low, concerned voice of Anon permeates through the door. Tarsus blinks, tilting his head to get a look at the clock hanging on his wall. Sure enough, it’s a little past noon. Considering it was later than that when he and his mother had their conversation, it would seem that he was asleep for quite a while.

As he sits upright, the audible growling of his stomach confirms that.

“Y-yeah, whatever. I’ll be right out.”

Satisfied, Tarsus watches the shadow underneath his door disappear down the hall. Sighing to himself, he rolls out from underneath his covers, hearing his joints pop all the while. He briefly considers the fact that it’s a Thursday, and he definitely missed school. That neither his parents nor his siblings woke him up, combined with his father not mentioning such just a moment ago, gives him pause.

After a groggy trip to the bathroom, Tarsus trudges into the dining room with an exhausted scowl on his face. Anon gives him a warm, concerned smile, the look in his eyes saying more than words ever could. Glancing at the table, he confirms that a bowl has already been prepared for him. It’s a simple vegetable stew. Not a complex meal, but certainly a hearty one for lunch. And besides that, it’s one of Tarsus’s favorite foods.

“Thanks.”

He plops himself down across from his dad, not bothering to look up as he grabs a spoon and starts to dig in. It isn’t until the first spoonful of broth hits his tongue that he realizes exactly how hungry he is. Anon, meanwhile, flips through the morning paper, only occasionally taking conspicuous glances at his son.

“Congratulations,” he eventually says after clearing his throat. “Your mother tells me you shapeshifted for the first time yesterday.”

“...Yeah,” he mumbles, shoveling another bite into his mouth. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I won’t make you,” Anon sighs as he sets down the newspaper. “She told me what happened. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.”

“You always say that.” His voice is still a grumble, and he still refuses to look up from his bowl. “You always act like there’s something you can do to help. But you can’t.” He takes a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes to do so before his attention returns to the stew. “No one can.”

“I can make your lunch,” Anon argues with a coy smile. “And I can tell the school you’re not feeling well so your absence is actually excused.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Another bite. “Not really what’s on my mind, though.”

“You know, I’m not gonna force it out of you, but maybe it’d be easier to sort out what is on your mind if you told someone about it.”

“I can’t even begin to describe how much I don’t want to talk to my dad about my feelings.”

“Been there, done that,” he chuckles. “Just saying. If you need a shoulder, I’m here. I understand that you’re on, er, awkward terms with your mother. Figured it’s good to give you options.”

Tarsus winces at his father’s words. He wants nothing more than to keep looking down at his lunch, but as the last spoonful of stew gets swallowed, he realizes he has little choice anymore.

“...I don’t know what I want to be anymore.”

“Oh?”

“Ever since we were grubs, I wanted to be the strongest. Stronger than Terga, bigger than Seta. I wanted to be the big, cool changeling warrior like the ones in Mom’s old army. I wanted to… I don’t know, be the best at something. At something.”

“...”

“And for a long time, I thought I was doing a pretty good job.” Tarsus idly rolls his spoon around inside the empty bowl, still avoiding Anon’s gaze whenever possible. “But I’m not anymore. Terga has just about caught up with me physically, I’ll never be the largest kid with lanky old Seta around, I still can’t fly as well as everyone else, and now I’m not even impressive at school anymore.”

“Wait, what happened at school?” Anon tilts his head before his eyes go wide. “Oh no. Did something happen at the obstacle course? I know you were looking forward to that.”

“Everything was fine at first. I ran it perfectly, just like I practiced. I set the school record.”

“Tarsus, that’s amazing!”

“Yeah, for all of five minutes. Then Elitra came around and showed off her fancy new shapeshifting. A cheetah, a dragon, hell, she turned into Gena for a part of it!” Tarsus rests his head on the table, burying his face behind his hooves. “She blew my time out of the water.”

“Well, that is the nature of competition.”

“But what does that mean about me?!” Although he doesn’t pick his head up, Tarsus finally locks eyes with his father. “I can’t shapeshift! None of us can! Every other changeling at school can do it no issue!”

“Well, you’re not like the other changelings at school.”

“That’s the problem.”

“...Tarsus, I can’t help that you’re half human.”

“The problem isn’t that I’m half human.” He lets out a long, deep sigh, hesitating before finishing his thought. “The problem is that I’m half Chrysalis.”

“...”

“Anyway. Elitra rubbed her victory in my face. Then she made fun of me for being stuck in Mom’s shadow. I wanted to tease her back, but I know she’s right. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing.”

“Tarsus, you–”

“Just don’t, Dad.” Another sigh. “I know Mom did a lot of bad stuff. I’m not saying I want to be like that, but… I can’t pretend like I don’t want to be as strong as she used to be. I want to be cool like she was, but not whatever else came with it. I just wish everyone else could see that.”

For a few moments, the dining room is silent. Tarsus feels his father’s eyes on him, but he doesn't dare look back. What could he possibly say? He’s already resigned himself to the fact that he can’t be “helped.” He just has to hope he doesn't accidentally turn into a termite again.

“You already are, Tarsus.”

“Wh-what?”

That got his attention. Finally sitting upright, he faces Anon in earnest.

“It’s okay to be weak. But, it’s also okay to be strong. I’ve seen the way you train, even when you think your mother and I aren’t looking. You’re passionate about it, and that’s really all you need, bud.”

“That’s not–”

“And you’re right, you aren’t like your mother. She was single-minded, ignorant, downright cruel. You’re not, and yet, here you are setting school records.”

“Records that get broken.”

“But you still set them. And you did it without even shapeshifting! Let’s see Elitra get the time you got with nothing but her original body! Let’s see her try to match the flight endurance tests Chryssi has had you going through!”

“That’s…” For a third and final time, Tarsus sighs. “Thanks, Dad, but she still has the record.”

“You broke the school record once,” Anon replies with a cocky grin as he takes a sip from his mug. “You can do it again. And unlike a certain someone else, you don’t have to make fun of your opponent to feel good about yourself, do you?”

“Dad?”

“Don’t be afraid, Tarsus.” He sets the mug back down, giving his son a full, warm smile. “Keep going. And if you fail, get back up again. We’re not going to judge you for it. And each time you stumble, you’ll get a bit better. Next thing you know, you’ll be running obstacle courses in no time at all and shapeshifting into a termite at your own discretion!”

“Ugh, don’t remind me of the termite thing!” Despite his protests, Tarsus finds himself smiling for the first time in a while. “I never want to think about that again!”

“You say that, but I think Gena was planning on throwing you a party. Wanted to celebrate your first shapeshift.”

“Aw, no!”

“Better go stop her, don’t you think? Besides, if you head out now, you might make it back to school in time for Dash’s class.”

“Y-yeah!” Practically leaping from his seat, Tarsus books it for the front door. “Thanks, Dad!”

“Good luck out there!”

With nothing more than a single wave, Tarsus is out the door and halfway across town in seconds. Anon chuckles to himself while he takes another sip of his drink.

“He forgot his bag. Again.”

“Oh, hey, Tarsus! You’re just in time!” Tarsus struggles to choke out a response to his airborne teacher through strained breaths. Running all the way to school is not easy. “You’re not scheduled to go again today, but Gena is just about to take her turn on the obstacle course if you wanna cheer her on.”

“Gena?”

Through his pants, Tarsus glances up at the starting line. Sure enough, an anxious-looking Gena stands at the ready. Out of everyone in their family, she’s the least physically inclined. She’ll almost certainly get a bad time, but if he knows his sister, she won’t care anyway. Physical Education was never her favorite class.

“There you are!” Obsidian chuckles as Tarsus trudges towards the bench and throws himself down next to the eager dragon. “I was starting to think you weren’t coming back to school.”

“That was the plan,” he starts with a sigh. “Dad wasn’t having that, though.”

“You feeling okay? You looked like you weren’t doing too well yesterday.”

“I’m fine,” he mutters unconvincingly.

“Go, Gena, go!”

Tarsus’s attention is stolen by the performance before him. To his surprise, Gena isn’t doing too poorly. She’s certainly not matching the speed of himself or Elitra, but she’s not as much of a pushover as he was expecting. The hurdles give her pause, but after a slight delay she’s able to clear them, too.

“You got this, Gena!”

“Been a while since I’ve seen you this pumped,” Obsidian chuckles. “Goin’ soft on me?”

“Let her have her moment, dude.”

“Alright, alright.” Obsidian stands on top of the bench, his voice immediately booming above all others. “KNOCK ‘EM DEAD, KID!”

Gena turns the last corner, a look of sheer determination shining through her blue eyes. With one final leap, she enters the hanging tube.

Only to fall short of clearing it, smacking her face on the bottom half before she exits it completely.

There’s an audible smack as she face plants onto the finish line. The time on the scoreboard reads “2:43,” but no one seems to care as Dash rushes down to check on her potentially injured student.

“Gena! That looked like it hurt. Did you break something?”

“Only my pride,” Gena groans as she stands from the ground. There’s a fresh bruise on her cheek, but aside from it and the sweat and dirt clinging to her body, she’s largely unharmed. “How’s my time?”

“A personal best! Great work, kid.”

Gena says nothing else, only giggling as she politely exits the field and allows Dash to turn her attention to the next student. She locks eyes with Tarsus, and the pair smile at each other.

“Hey, dude.” Her voice is low, almost hesitant as she approaches the bench. “You actually came to school today?”

“Yeah, you can thank Dad for that,” he half-fibs. “He told me you were planning a stupid party, and I came to make sure that doesn’t happen.

“Thank you, Father,” she mocks as she takes a seat on the opposite side of him as Obsidian. “And don’t worry, I was joking. Probably.” She briefly laughs to herself before patting him on the back. “Seriously, are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“That’s not very convincing.”

“And I’m not gonna try to convince you further, either.”

“Touché.”

The relative peace is short-lived. Midway through a yak classmate’s attempt at the obstacle course, the sound of someone obnoxiously clearing their throat rings out from behind them. They barely have time to turn around before Elitra sets herself down next to Gena, wrapping an arm around her in the process.

“Nice work out there, Gigi! Your time was excellent!”

“Th-thanks, Elitra.”

“What do you think, Tarsie? Doesn’t she deserve a standing ovation?”

“She got a PR. That’s pretty good in my book.”

“Aww, but you didn’t answer my question! Shouldn’t we all just celebrate how talented and special she is? I mean, now two of you got new records without being able to shapeshift! Shouldn’t we be celebrating!”

“You’re patronizing us,” Tarsus replies flatly, his eyes half-lidded.

“Patronizing? Oh, no no no! I’m legitimately happy that you’re overcoming your natural disadvantages!”

“We aren’t ‘disadvantaged,’ El.” Gena’s voice is equally low, though it’s clear that there's less anger and more sadness in her voice than her brother’s. “We’re just getting there at our own pace.”

“Yes, of course,” she nods, the coy smile never leaving her face. “I’m sure that once you’re able to shapeshift you’ll be able to do everything you’ve ever wanted. You’ll keep being our cute little Gigi, and Tarsie over there will get to be the changeling he always wanted to be, right?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tarsus growls.

“Well, I imagine you’ll start with the school record. You’ll copy my idea, of course, and rip that record right out from under my nose. Then you’ll use your newfound power to show everyone what a big, strong soldier boy you are, just like everyone’s favorite ex-despot! You’ll make her proud, I bet!”

“Elitra.” Tarsus stands up, his wide, golden form tense and imposing as Elitra stands to meet him. “I don’t care what you think about me. Stop making fun of my family. Now.”

“Yes, and I’m sure your mother stopped being a dictator when asked nicely too, didn’t she? News flash, Tarsie: My mom lost a leg fighting for Chrysalis. She’ll never walk right again.”

“What’s that got to do with me?”

“You’ll have to forgive me for holding a teensy bit of resentment for the mare that ensured I’d never get to go on a mountain hike with my mom. She can’t go up inclines very well, you know, and she can only barely swim.”

“The mare that caused that is long gone, Elitra.”

“But you want to be like her, don’t you?” Finally, Elitra’s voice loses its forced high pitch. She drops all pretenses, the coy smile fading in favor of a cold, malicious stare. “Equestria is better off without changelings like you.”

“I can do whatever I want.”

“So can I! And I decided to take your dumb record. Die mad about it.”

“I don’t even care about the record anymore,” he mumbles.

“Good.” Elitra turns away, giving Gena a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Let those of us who actually deserve the spotlight get our time in the sun. Be like your sister and get out of our way. Be happy settling for mediocrity.”

Elitra saunters away, leaving the trio in a long, tense silence.

“...I wasn’t trying to be mediocre.” Gena’s voice is a hushed whisper, unheard by anyone but Tarsus. A single tear forms in the corner of her eye. “I worked really hard for that time.”

“Elitra.” Tarsus’s voice is loud. Cold. Commanding. Despite standing nearly ten feet away, she stops, feeling his eyes on the back of her head. “I’m sorry about your mom. Really.”

“...”

“But we had nothing to do with it. If you want to compete with me, fine, whatever.” He takes a step forward. “You still owe Gena an apology.”

She turns her head, but her body remains faced away.

“Your apologies mean nothing to me, and I’m not obligated to offer them back.”

“I wonder what Dash will have to say about that?”

“Oh, threatening to rat me out to the teachers now, are we?!” That got her attention, forcing her to turn around and march back up towards Tarsus, her face now mere inches from his own. “Suddenly little old Tarsie wants to play the good student?”

“We’re attending the School of Friendship.”

“And you’ve never given a flying fuck about that until now, have you? You’re a coward, Tarsus. Just like your mom.”

“You’re right.” Tarsus closes his eyes. “I am a coward. I’m too damn scared to admit when I’m wrong. I’m terrified of turning out like the changeling Mom used to be.” He opens his eyes again. He feels… different. Bigger. “And you know what? So is she. She’s been working every damn day to be better than she was.” He speaks with confidence, unsure of if his voice is even his anymore. Still, his heart tells him that he means every word. “And so is Gena. So am I, even though I’m scared as can be. Yeah, we’re struggling. All of… this doesn’t come as easy to us as it does everyone else. But every day, we get up and we try again. We want to grow.” Tarsus realizes that he’s now looking down at Elitra, who stares back up at him with fear in her eyes. “The only one that’s letting fear hold them back is you, Elitra.”

“I-I’m telling Dash!”

Without another word, Elitra books it towards the obstacle course, panic clearly overtaking her. Suddenly feeling very, VERY exhausted, Tarsus lets out a sigh.

“T-Tarsus?!”

“Hm? What’s up– woah!” For the first time, Tarsus looks down at himself. His body is black, though he sees hints of a long green mane hanging from his head. There are holes in his legs, and his wings sparkle in the daylight. He knows this body anywhere. “Why do I look like Mom?!”

“You shapeshifted!” Obsidian whistles before letting out a withheld laugh. “Man, that was awesome! I’ve never seen Elitra so terrified before!”

“C-can you change back?” Gena questions, stumbling over her words.

“M… maybe?”

Tarsus tries to focus, but only succeeds in remembering his failures of the previous day. Panic begins to spread across his face, his green slitted eyes darting to and fro.

Then, the words of his mother echo in his mind.

Just be honest.

Tarsus takes a deep breath, and in that moment, everything falls silent. Gena, Obsidian, the panicked Elitra, even the obstacle course behind him. He closes his eyes, allowing darkness to envelop him. Just as he had done when he transformed, he listens to his heart.

“I’m scared of turning into the monster Mom used to be, but… I know that’s not who I am.”

Tarsus exhales. Opening his eyes, he sees Gena in front of him, standing at her normal height.

“Tarsus?”

“...Did I do it?”

“Tarsus!” Gena throws herself at her brother, an act rare for both of them. He stands perfectly still, staring down at her while she nuzzles against his shoulder. As he does so, he notices the blurriness in his vision. Tears run down his cheeks, though he can’t properly explain why. “Thank you.”

“I-I didn’t do anything.”

“Shut up.” Gena smiles through her own harsh words. “Just let me be happy for a bit.”

“Alright, what’s going on over here?” Dash flies above them, with Elitra hanging just below. “I was told you were tormenting your class.”

“No tormenting here, ma’am!” Obsidian rests his claws behind his head, a coy, toothy grin spread across his face. “Does this look like torment to you?”

Dash glances at the tearful hug taking place. She blinks, trying and failing to process what she’s looking at. Eventually, however, she looks down at Elitra, who gives her an obviously forced smile.

“I think you’re imagining things, kid.” Clearing her throat, Dash turns back to the obstacle course. “Apollo, you’re on deck!”

Gena lets go of Tarsus just in time for him to give Elitra the biggest shit-eating grin she’s ever seen.

“What was that you said about ratting someone out to the teachers?”

“Shut up,” she mumbles, her face going red as she walks past the trio. “I still have the school record.”

“Not for long, I bet!” Obsidian lets out a deep, guttural laugh. “Especially now that he’s figuring out his shapeshifting!”

With a hearty slap on the back, Tarsus finds himself laughing right along with him. He won’t perfect shapeshifting overnight. Heck, it will probably be a long while until he’s able to retake his school record. However, just like his mother before him and his sister after him, he’ll get there. No one said changing is easy.

But it is doable.

Author's Note

It's rare for me to struggle with a given story arc for even remotely as long as I did with this two-parter. I hope the wait was worth it - both for all of you, and for Tarsus.

Once again, big thank you to Mikkybun for the incredible art, and another thank you to DarthBall for pre-reading!