If It Don't Sing

by Crimson Enjoyer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Slice of Life, Diamond Dogs, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Trixie
Length: 1100

Trixie searches for the perfect diamond.

Finding something that would fit the description of the "perfect diamond" would seem a fool's errand, and Trixie is most definitely a fool. But, she's a fool with a drive, a fool who won't stop until she gets what she wants, a fool in love.

This is the story of Trixie, a trio of irratible bipedal canines, and their quest to find the single most perfect diamond in all of Equestria.

Published 2024-03-23 23:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-23 23:10:00 UTC

1. Set Up

The rock quarry. To any passer-by, it would seem like nothing more than a dull stretch of land, blanketed with white dirt and grey rocks.

But this colorless dustbowl held more to it than meets the eye.

Hidden beneath the surface was a network of caves, and embedded in the walls of those caves were some of the most beautiful, and of course, most rare diamonds in Equestria.

Any modest piece of jewellery or lavish dress would more than likely triple in value with the addition of these sparkling rocks. They were truly the most literal forms of ‘diamonds in the rough’. So it was no surprise that another diamond in the rough would seek them out.

Beatrix ‘Trixie’ Lulamoon Esquire was a lot of things. She would say those things included exceptionally talented at magic, exceedingly clever, stunningly beautiful, well endowed.
Others may say those things included ego-centric, somewhat lacking in the brain’s department, overambitious, hot headed, well endowed, but what everypony could agree on, was that Trixie was a showmare.

It was always go big or go home with her involved, and the results were never a bore to watch unfold. Flair and Pizazz were baked into her very DNA.

And so, on this day, Trixie was on a mission, to find the most gorgeous, majestic, breathtaking diamond this quarry had to offer. Now, of course, Trixie didn’t have Rarity’s unique ability to locate gemstones, but, she did know another way to procure the objects of her desire.

Having cantered through the quarry for several minutes, she was relieved to find she had made it to her destination; a small cave opening etched into the lower side of a larger rock formation. On either side of the entrance stood two tall canine like creatures clad in traditional body armour.

“This is the place,” said Trixie to no one in particular. She trotted towards the entrance, not even paying the guards any mind, but was stopped in her tracks by the sight of two spears blocking her entry.

“Halt,” exclaimed the guard to the left. “No ponies allowed in here.”

“Yes, no ponies,” added the guard to the right. “So go back home to Pony town. Now.”

Though the spears gave her a bit of a startle, Trixie quickly formed a smug grin on her face, and she sat her plan into motion.

“Oh, of course, my mistake,” she said in an exaggerated voice, taking a few back steps back. “I’ll just head back right now.”

She turned around, pretending to leave, her eyes never leaving the stone-faced guards. “Oh! Before I go,” she began, turning back towards them.

She leaned forwards. Her face held a salespony smile that would make Flim and Flam jealous.

“Would you two like to see a magic trick?”

“What kind of trick?” asked Starlight. Trixie smirked.

“The kind that only a truly Great and Powerful magician, such as yours truly, can feasibly pull off,” she said animatedly. Starlight rolled her eyes with a little smile and a shake of the head.

“Well, are you gonna show it to me, then?”

“Ahp-bup-bup,” Trixie wagged her hoof. “Patience, my darling Starlight. I’m saving my first shot at this trick for a very special occasion. And I’m positive you’re going to love it,” she said as she booped Starlight’s nose, eliciting a giggle from the purple unicorn.

“Okay, Trix. If you say so.” She gave the blue unicorn a peck on the cheek.

A little ways underneath the quarry, a tall grey dog wearing a red jacket, known to his fellow canines as Rover, sat back in his chair and let out a long sigh. It had been a very long day of digging, sorting, yelling at subordinates, and the various other duties of a leader, so he was quite content to simply relax, now that there was nothing else that needed his attention.

“Boss! Come, quick!” a voice shouted from outside his room. Rover groaned loudly. He reluctantly got out of his chair and walked over to the source of the interruption, grumbling all the way.

“What is it now?!” he exclaimed, stepping into the center room where his second and third in commands, Fido and Spot were standing with noticeably frightened looks on their faces.

“You idiots better have good reason for-“ his words caught in his throat when his eyes landed on the source of their terror.

A pony.

“Oh, You must be Rover,” she exclaimed, holding out a hoof. “I am the Great and Powerful Trrrixie, and I humbly request an audience with you-“

“NO!” Rover belted in a panic. “No Audience! Guards, in here, now!”

Within a matter of seconds, Trixie found herself surrounded by dogs in not-so-shiny armour, spears pointed directly at her from all directions.
She sighed, and flared her horn. “No one wants to just talk things out anymore.”

The guards circling the mare suddenly found themselves enveloped in an azure aura, and frantically yelped and flailed their arms as they were lifted into the air. Rover, Spot and Fido watched in horror as their underlings were spun around, turned upside down, and flung across the room like puppets. Trixie yawned, smugly.

What goes up comes down, and all the guards slammed back down to the ground, groaning in pain. A satisfied smile on her face, Trixie walked over to the three dogs not currently writhing on the floor, all the while lifting up the spears that had been scattered across, and putting them away.

“As I was saying, The Great and, as proven, Powerful Trixie, requests an audience with you.”

Shaking away the terrified look on his face, Rover glared and snarled at the pony. “Pony doesn’t scare us! Right, boys?” We looked over to see Spot and Fido huddled in the corner, quaking in terror at the sight of the Pony. He facepalmed, and turned back to Trixie.

“Well, you don’t scare me! Rover is not intimated by your fancy floaty pony magic!” he punctuated his point with a finger pointed to her face. She raised an eyebrow, looking at his finger, and then back to him. Her horn flared, and he pulled away with a shriek.

“Ok, ok! Just don’t hurt me!” Her horn went out and Trixie smiled.

“That’s better. Now, let’s talk diamonds.”

Author's Note

Been wanting to write a StarTrix story since i made an account here.

For those of you looking for an update, progress on Chapter 1 of "a Good Home" is going swimmingly. Probably be out within a week or two.