Destination equestria:book one;demolition equestria
If you haven't met me yet(i don't think you have).my name is brandon normic. I am a professional demolition derby driver. My car is a 1992 dodge monoco. It is basiclly brand new, but is very special to me. Oh, and before i forget,did i mention that there was about five super size cans of NOS brand nitrous oxide in the back of the car(its demolition type,so is way harder to explode. And the NOS brand is the only brand i trust.) I unloaded the car from the flatbed, and got in. Once i was in, i shut the door,turned the key, then pushed the ignition button. The muscle type 302 five speed engine roared to life. I put the shift stick into first gear, and gently tapped the gas pedal. After about five minutes i got to the starting position where i was assigned to. I saw the others get into position as well. I looked around the car to make sure i had everything in place or if i missed anything. "Did i get the rollcage?" I looked up. "Yup. Tank full?"i looked at the fuel gauge. "Yes. Seatbelt on?" I put the seatbelt on. "Well, now its on. Well, i'm all set."i said. I thought i couldn't get any closer to starting time when i said those words,because just when i was done saying the word 'set', the announcer said "are you ready? START YOUR ENGINES!!!"he yelled into the microphone. I did so, and the bleachers behind me shook and rattled. The announcer stared us off with"on yer marks, get SET, GOGOGO!!!!!" And we were off towards the middle of the arena. I was just about to total another contestant when this craaaazy thing happened, i was absorbed in a bright magenta colored light, and teleported in an amazing twenty seconds! No one noticed the light except the person i was about to total. About two minutes later i was sitting in front of a tree with a door and lots of windows on it. So my natural instinct was to see if anyone lived in it. I knocked on the little door, and hearing a reply of "spiiiiiiiike, could you get the door for me please?" "Okay twilight." An annoyed man said. The door opened and out popped... Spike? I got the reponse i was expecting, a loud shrek and a slamming of the door. "Oh come on! I yelled at the door. "I just need some help, that all!" And the thing i heard was "Spike! That's not the way to treat a pony in need of help!" "But thats NOT a pony!" "Spike!no buts! Now go let the poor stallion in would ya!?" A rather depressed groan emerged . I hid the car as quik as i could and got back before the the door opened. When it did, the little head emerged in horror. "Y-you may c-com-me in n-now." He said in utter shock. "Okay then." I said while walking in the door.i waited until spike walked into the and said"Well, here he is!" And i slowly walked in the door. Twilight looked up from her book and screamed in utter and complete horror. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!?!?!?she shreked while throwing a book straight at my head. I dodged the book that was about as wide as the bible,knowing my fast reflexes. "Woah, woah. Now i am a humin being, the most intelligent lifeform on earth. Well,except the dolphin. Now, before i go crazy, HOW IN THE FUCKING HELL CAN A FUCKING PONY SPEAK ENGLISH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"i screamed at the top of my lungs. "Now. I have three questions." Twilight said timidly. "Question number one. Who are you. Number two, where did you come from, and number three, how did you get here?" She asked. "Well, my name is brandon normic. I came from earth, and to be honest, i don't know how i got here. All that i know is that i was about to total someone, then i get impaled with a magenta colored light, and me and my car were transported here."i said. "What's a car?" Spike asked. "Yeah, what is a 'car'?"twilight asked as well. "Well, a car is a adanced mech-oh fuck it. You guys know the horse 'n buggy, right?"i asked, getting two nodds as an anwser. All a car is is a horseless carraige that moves on it own. Well, with the help of an engine and a driver."i said, getting a huge gasp from twilight. B-b-but thats not physically POSSIBLE!"she yelped. "I must see this mechanical evolutionary advancment right away!" So i took her to my car. Which was still sitting out of sight. "Well, this is my car." I said to twilight. "By the way, i havent gotten your name yet miss....."-"sparkle. Twilight sparkle. But please, call me twilight."she said. "Well, do you want me to pop the hood? I asked her. "Sure. Why not?" She said. So i walked over to the front of the vehicle, with her following me. I found my way to the hood and took out the safety pins. Then i made my way to the door of the car and pulled the handle. The door slowly swung open. I found the button and the front of the car went *pop*, causing poor twilight to jump about twenty feet in the air. I got out and closed the door. I saw twilight shivering and laughed uncontrollably. "Hey, thats not nice!"she said scornfully. "Sorry twi its just that sometimes i see something funny happen to other people. My first reaction is to laugh un controllably. I've had that nasty habit for ten years, and i still can't get rid of it."i said. "It's okay, i've had that habit too in my life. And i still do not know how i got rid of it to this day!" She said forgivingly...
