"I still can't believe anybody would defy a Celestial Edict like that. This is the second time too!" I look over to the pink one from my cozy roost. Is she still going on about that? Power reaches only as far as you make it after all, and it sounds like this 'Celestia' doesn't make the rounds as often as she should. I warble as much into my friend's ear.

"Y-yes Angel, we all know you take an animalistic view to power, but you only need to look at the sun to be reminded of Celestia's." I make a raspberry noise. Yeah, no way anybody's that powerful! They both freeze up at that. Oh, I think I made my friend mad. I hop off her head and dash out of the tent before she can make her displeasure known. She may have a soft and fwuffy extewior, but I don't wanna hear her yell at me ever again. I'm gonna cause some mischief in the bad town while I wait for her to cool off.

First on my order of business is to season a pie I spotted cooling, with a few rabbit pellets. Really liven up these ponies palates! Then I wander around town a bit, eavesdropping for something new about the bug horse things. Not that I had to wait too long... These ponies just love to talk.

"I can't believe those monsters thought they could get away with faking a Celestial Edict!" Looks like an old gossipy mare and her son. "The nerve of them. Too bad they outnumber our guard or else we'd have whipped 'em real good!"

"Mee-ma, are you sure it was a forgery? It used real gold for the lettering and-"

"Pshaw, of course it was fake. No way the Princesses would let these monsters back in after what they did... What's that in your hoof son?"

"Just a pamphlet somepony was handing out..." The walking raisin snatches it from his hoof.

"Changelings And You? What rubbish! Where did you say this was being passed out, son?" I bounce out the window. I'm pretty sure I know where that song and dance is going, and I don't want to be there for it. Going through the town I kick over some potted plants for kicks and then... Go back to my friend? Ah, but I don't want to risk it! She could still be mad at me! I choose to wander around the camp a bit, weaving through all these bug horse things, when suddenly I catch one of their eyes. Oh boy, that doesn't feel good. I know what a predator's gaze feels like! Then she suddenly turns into a female bunny and cutely flutters her eyelashes at me...

You know what? I'm down for that.

My friend would only find me about an hour later, completely exhausted, and resting on top of a pillow.

A couple days later, I'm running around under the stands, as you do, when one of the couples being seated starts whispering in embarrassment.

"Well how was I supposed to know that's not what they meant by love soaked?"

"Relax honey, they didn't seem to mind. They even said it was a good conductor for love magic. They probably just overcharged you a bit." I sniff the air. Smells like estrus. Stupid ponies being weird about sex then, again. I'm not even sure why, even. Not like this hasn't happened about twenty times already since the tour began! I pop my head up to deliver a loud squeak just under their hooves and run away. Ahahahahaha!! Stupid ponies.

My random walking, not really, Of under the bleachers soon found a pair of horse bug things to eavesdrop on next.

"I cannot believe this play harvesting strategy is actually working. It's ridiculous!"

"Well, what did you expect dude? Our new queen had to have fed herself somehow before ruling the hive."

"Well yeah, but she didn't do it as herself, did she? And I don't think asking nicely like this has ever worked for us before."

"...Did Chrysalis even let us try that?" Bored now! Moving on.

Going to mess with the Queen now~! She's mostly been a good sport about things. Doesn't get angry as long as I don't break things, and is a pretty deft paw with her telekinesis. I find her in a room behind the stage.

"You've all come very far in the time we've had to practice the plays I've set out for us." Looks like she's talking to one of the shyer bug horse things. "We're not going to be making professional grade performances by the time we reach the capital, but we will be at least passable by then." I catapult myself off of a tall rack or something straight into her face. She dodges it deftly.

"Oh, it's you again." As the other bug horse thing scampers off I bounce off the wall to buffet her flank, only to be foiled by another dodge. Oh, the way she moves is so unnatural! Her first dodge put her on the path for my poofy self to bounce off of her, but she just switched her momentum around like a particularly unconvincing illusion. What a challenge! We continue like that for a couple minutes before she just catches me with her magic. Awww...

"No pouting, you. I have a play to supervise, still. You're lucky you've never done this when Nunya was in the room with me. She takes physical threats to me very seriously." A few minutes later we're back to my friend's tent.

"Fluttershy, your bunny attacked me again. Please keep a better eye on him. If he disrupts any of the plays I'm putting him in a box until we reach Canterlot."

"Y-yes Q-q-queen Degurechaff. I'm t-terribly sorry ab-bout Angel, he's usually such a g-good b-boy!" She stammers. Oh, she really does care about me. I wave and squeak at her.

"If you say so. Where did Pinkie Pie go?"

"She's sp-pending t-time with another stallion again." My friend stammers out for entirely different reasons, her face turning red.

"Hmm, well, as long as she doesn't exhaust herself. Speaking of, are you entirely sure you don't want to avail yourself of any of those services? You're already feeding several of my drones with your donations."

"I'm s-sure." The Queen stares at her for a few seconds. She starts wilting under the Queen's heavy gaze.

"Well, suit yourself." As she sets me down and leaves. I cheerfully squeak at my friend.

"Oh no you don't mister." As she grabs me. "You're staying right here with me until the plays are done." Then, she snuggles us up into her warm bed. Ah~, life is good!

Author's Note

Beta credit: Pandora