My Little Starcraft: APM is Magic

by Poulsen

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3279

Six ponies, a challenge, and a certain RTS game.

During a LAN party at Twilight's library, Applejack and Rainbow Dash get into an argument over who's a better player. One thing leads to another, and suddenly they find themselves facing a certain RTS game... Will they, with the help of their friends, find out who's the best? Or will something go horribly wrong?

Published 2012-10-08 11:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-08 11:10:01 UTC

Chapter one: The Challenge

Author's Note: Since English isn't my native language there might be some grammatical/formatting mistakes in the story, for which I apologize. I'm currently looking for a pre-reader, so hopefully this will no longer be an issue (If anyone would be interested in becoming one, please PM me! I would be ever so grateful!)

My Little Starcraft: APM is Magic

“Apologize for playing that race.”

One of the most prevalent qualities of every library in the world is the silence, that specific tranquility of the temple of knowledge, disturbed only by the sound of rustling pages and quiet hoofsteps of librarians, those heroic guardians of all the secrets and stories of ponykind. Usually, the Ponyville Library was no exception. Tonight, however, entirely different sounds could be heard from its inside.

“Boom! Headshot! How do you like them apples, AJ?” Rainbow Dash laughed, grinning smugly.

“You little hayseed, come out and fight like a mare!” retorted the orange pony through gritted teeth, rising in her seat and giving her opponent a rather nasty glare over her monitor.

“Now girls, there’s no need to...” Twilight, who had been eliminated at the very beginning of the game by Rarity’s 12 gauge shotgun, tried to stop the argument before it could escalate.

“Face it, chump, you are no match for such an awesome player as me!” Rainbow, laughing like a madpony, did not pay the slightest attention to the librarian.

“Awesome? More like ‘cowardly.’” growled Applejack as she was forced to wait for the end of the round.

“Cheer up, cowgirl, it’s only a- WHAT THE HAY?!”

“Hee hee, sorry Dashie!” giggled Pinkie, who had just snuck up to the blue pegasus and killed her with a knife.

“Serves you right, RD.” Applejack said with a scowl, her forelegs crossed on her chest.

“No fair, how could I- Hey, stop that!“

“Stop what?” the party pony asked innocently.

“Enough, Pinkie.” Rarity said with authority. “We all agreed, no teabagging.”

“Okay, sheesh, don’t be such a grump! Sorry, Dashie, I just couldn’t resist!”

The flier grudgingly accepted the apology, cheering up somewhat after seeing Pinkie taken down by Fluttershy.

Now it was only the yellow pegasus and Rarity. The fashionista carefully walked around the map, moving from one cover to another, her shotgun loaded and ready. Her opponent was nowhere to be seen.

After a good minute and a half of searching, her paranoia got better of her and she snapped.

“Come on, Fluttershy, enough of the hide-and-seek! Come out!”

“Oh... I’m sorry, Rarity. I, um...” The yellow pony said quietly and somewhat guiltily. Rarity instantly felt bad for shouting at her.

“Do forgive me, darling, I shouldn’t act like that.”

“Oh, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, my dear. It was simply uncalled for. I know it’s only a game, and I...” the white unicorn was suddenly interrupted as a flashbang exploded right in front of her, turning her screen white. A few seconds later she was dead, a victim of rapid assault rifle fire.

“That was low.” Rarity pouted.

“Yes!” cheered Rainbow and bumped hooves with Fluttershy, who was smiling shyly behind her pink mane. “We won! Oooh yeeeah!”

Despite being on the opposite team, Pinkie joined the celebration. “Good game, everypony!”

“It would be, if somepony wasn’t sniping all the time.” murmured Applejack, loud enough for Rainbow to hear.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re not as awesome as me!”

“Why you!...”

“Guys! Stop that!” shouted Twilight, silencing the two. “Why don’t we take a break before the next game? I think we all need it.”

The suggestion was met with enthusiastic approval, and soon nopony was left at the large table holding the computers. After stretching their backs and legs, the six ponies gathered by a smaller table on which apple juice and all sorts of sweet and salty snacks could be found, the former provided by Applejack, and the latter by Pinkie Pie.

“I must admit” said Rarity, taking a sip of the juice, “this is much more entertaining than I expected it to be, especially taking into account all the dreadful things one hears about video games.”

“I told you it would be fun!” smiled Twilight as she levitated a cupcake. “It’s been too long since I last had a LAN party!”

“Yeah! We should do this every week! Or every day!” chirped Pinkie with her mouth full of apple chips.

“Oh, I don’t know, girls...” Fluttershy said quietly from behind her mane.

“Is something wrong, dear?” Rarity asked. The yellow pegasus said nothing, gently pointing with a hoof to their left. A few steps away stood Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who were having a rather animated discussion.

“What’s your problem, AJ? I won fair and square!”

“No, you won by hiding in a corner with a sniper rifle!”

“Yeah, so?”

“So?! This is one step away from cheating! You know very well you wouldn’t win in a fair fight so you abuse the game to gain an unfair advantage! Just like when you used your wings in that Iron Pony contest!”

“Now wait just a minute!” Rainbow flared her wings, pushing her snout against Applejack’s. “This is totally different! And nopony said I can’t use sniper rifles! If you can’t handle them, don’t play!”

Applejack pushed back, stomping her hoof. “Well, if you’re such an awesome player, don’t use them!”

“I could beat you with my hooves tied to the chair!”

“Then prove it!”

“I don’t have to-“

They were suddenly both enveloped in purple glow and lifted into the air.

“I can’t believe you’re still fighting over that!” Twilight said as she and the rest of the group approached the floating pair. “It’s just a game!”

“It’s not about the game, it’s about principle!” Applejack said angrily. Rainbow just glared at the orange farmer, her forelegs crossed on her chest.

The purple unicorn sighed and turned to her friends. “Help me out with this.”

The others looked uncertainly at one another. For a moment, nopony said anything.

“How about a duel?” Pinkie piped up.

“A duel?”

“Yeah, like the gentlecolts of the past, with top hats and monocles and all, but with video games instead of swords!”

Everypony stared at Pinkie for a moment.

“Sounds good to me!” Rainbow grinned. “What do you say, old timer? You game?”

“Hay no! You just gonna snipe me as always!”

Rainbow’s grin widened. “You bet.”

“Um... excuse me? Girls?” Came a timid voice. “Maybe you should play another game? I mean, one that you’re not familiar with? That is, if it’s okay with you...”

Rarity tapped her chin with her hoof. “It’s not such a bad idea. That way, neither of you would have an advantage of knowing the game better than the other.”

The pegasus and the earth pony, still suspended in Twilight’s levitation field, looked at each other uncertainly.

“What the hay, I’m in.” said Applejack finally. “What do you say, Rainbow?”

The cyan pony narrowed her eyes. “Bring it on, cowgirl.”

“So it’s settled! And I think I have just the right game!” said Twilight, lowering them back on the floor. “Give me a minute!”

She galloped to her room. Soon, she was back, a dark blue box levitating beside her.

“Now, what do you know about RTS games?”

***

“So, in this here...” Applejack glanced at the box, “’Starcraft 2’ thing, we just have to build an army and battle it out until one of us loses?”

“Well, on the most basic level, yes.” replied Twilight.” Of course, it’s more complicated than that...”

“Ugh...” Rainbow Dash grimaced. “Games are supposed to be fun, not complicated. And those strategy games are so boring! I mean, you have to build stuff before you can kill stuff!”

Twilight smiled reassuringly. “Now, it’s really fun once you get the gist of it! And you need a lot of coordination if you want to be really good at it, so it’s actually a bit similar to an FPS.”

“Now that’s all fine and dandy, but I reckon we’re gonna need some practice first, right?” Applejack raised an eyebrow.

“Well, yes, I think two or three weeks will be enough for you to familiarize yourselves with controls, interface, tech trees and units.”

“Two or three WEEKS?!”

“What’s the matter sugarcube? Chicken?”

“Hay no! I’m gonna beat you even if I have to practice for a year! Or two!”

“Great!” Twilight interjected before another argument could arise. “Applejack, you can take my copy, and you Rainbow will borrow Fluttershy’s. You can use our accounts to practice.” She rose to her hooves. ”Now let’s get back to the rest, or they’ll start playing without us.”

After a few more hours of gaming, it was finally time to call it a night. Upon agreeing that they will all come for their computers the next day, Twilight’s friends left one by one, bidding her good night. Rarity, interestingly enough, was the last to leave. She opened the door, letting in the crisp winter air, but stopped and turned towards the purple librarian.

“Twilight, darling, may I ask you a question?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Why did you propose that particular game for Applejack and Rainbow Dash?”

“Oh. Well, it’s a really nice game. I thought it would be good for them to try something new.” Explained Twilight, looking innocently to the side.

“So you are not hoping that they will both get bored and frustrated with it in a few days and agree to forget about that silly challenge?” The fashionista asked with a beautiful smile.

“Oh, of course not!” Said the librarian, and gave her friend the most obvious wink in recorded pony history. “Why would I do such a thing?”

Rarity giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof. “My my, who would think you are such a devious little creature, dear. Well, I must go now, I have so much work in the morning I simply don’t know where to start. Goodnight!”

Twilight waved after the white unicorn and closed the door, yawning. She was tired, but proud of herself. Soon, the duel would be a thing of the past, and her friends would realize how silly it was to argue over video games. It was going to make a great friendship report to the Princess!

I guess I really am a bit devious, thought the unicorn, switching off the lights and crawling into her bed.

***

The next few days were rather uneventful. Everypony in town went about their business. Foals played in the snow, building snowponies and having snowball battles and generally doing everything that was even remotely related to snow. Adults worked and generally did adult stuff, like using the cold as an excuse to spike their evening tea with rum. Pinkie Pie threw a party for somepony who apparently chose Ponyville over sunny Zebrican coast as a vacation destination, and Twilight reorganized the books in her library for the third time in the last four months. Long story short, there was nothing out of the ordinary.

A week after the LAN party, the winter sun was setting over Ponyville. At the town’s market, just like every day, Applejack was busy packing her apple stand on a cart. The business had been quite good recently: ponies missed fresh summer fruit and were willing to pay good bits for the well-preserved produce of Sweet Apple Acres. And yet, despite a successful day of good, honest trade, there was a certain tenseness in the movements of the orange farmer. She threw the empty crates on the cart a little more forcefully than usual; she kicked the old vehicle closed a little bit harder than it had been used to. If somepony would look close enough, they would be able to see the faintest trace of a frown on the usually cheerful and friendly face of the blond mare.

Applejack finally finished the packing and was about to leave the market square when she heard somepony – or, more precisely, some pegasus – landing behind her: a soft rustle of feathers as the flyer decreased her speed, followed by a single, strong flap of wings and the sound of four hooves all touching the ground at the exact same moment. It was truly a maneuver worthy of a true ace of the skies. And of the last person the farmpony wanted to see right now.

“Hi, AJ.” said Rainbow Dash.

Applejack’s ears perked up just a tiny bit at the sound of the voice. She had expected the usual brash, boastful tone, but instead there was the same tenseness she had been feeling for the last couple of days. True, it was well masked, but the cyan pegasus could not fool her. She knew her too well.

“Howdy, Rainbow. How are you?” she asked, trying to sound nonchalant, as she harnessed herself to the cart.

“Fine, fine. Awesome, even. You know. Because that’s what I do. Being awesome.”

“And how about...” Applejack cleared her throat. “How about that Starcraft thing?”

“Oh, that? Cool. Ice cold.” Rainbow said, looking at an apparently very interesting splotch of paint on the side of the apple cart. “I have it all figured out. You’re going down. And... stuff.”

They stood there for a while, silent.

“You don’t have the faintest idea how to play that accursed game, right?”

“...Yes.”

“And you’ve been losing tons of online matches with almost no wins?”

“U-huh.”

“Same here.”

“So...”

“I reckon we both know what we gotta do.”

“Yep.”

***

“So, um, was there something you wanted to talk about? Not that you need a reason to pay me a visit... um...”

“Relax, Fluttershy.” Said Twilight reassuringly. “If this is a bad time, I can come back tomorrow...”

“Oh, no, it’s okay. You know you can visit anytime you like.”

Twilight suppressed the urge to groan. She really hoped Fluttershy would tell her to leave. That way she would have more time to find some way out of the mess she had gotten herself into. She would just tell Rainbow and Applejack she had tried, but their timid friend had been too busy to talk. But as much as she did not like the situation she found herself in at the moment, she could not just lie to her friends – for the sake of her conscience, she needed at least a pretence of truth in her story. Now, of course, she had no choice but to do what they asked. She cleared her throat and looked up at the pink-maned mare watching her expectantly.

“Remember that video game challenge between Rainbow Dash and Applejack?” she began, and her friend nodded.

“Yesterday evening they came to the library and said they wanted to talk about it. Now, to tell you the truth, I was expecting them – I specifically chose Starcraft 2 so that they could get frustrated with it and drop the challenge.”

“Why would you do such a thing?” Fluttershy said, genuinely concerned. “They just wanted to know who’s better...”

“That’s just it! They’re always getting into those silly rivalries, to mention only the Iron Pony contest and the Running of the Leaves. I just wanted to stop that before it could escalate like it did back then.”

“Oh, I guess it makes sense, I mean, I’m sure you wanted what’s best for everypony...”

The purple unicorn closed her eyes, sighing.

“I thought I did. Unfortunately, I hadn’t considered all of the possible outcomes of my plan...”

“So, what seems to be a problem?” Twilight asked innocently, suppressing a self-satisfied smile as she levitated a teapot and three teacups onto the table.

“That game’s just impossible, that’s the problem!” Rainbow Dash said hotly. “We can’t make heads or tails of it!”

“That’s right.” Applejack said with a grimace. “I don’t know if I won a single online match along the week.”

“But you started playing at the beginning of a new online season.” Replied Twilight, levitating up her cup. “The placement match should have assigned you to a league adequate to your skills.”

“It did.” The cyan pegasus replied grimly. “We both ended up in the Bronze league. And as far as I know, that’s the lowest of the three.”

“Actually...” Said Twilight, even more innocently. This was just too perfect!

“Actually, what, Twi’?”

“Well... Actually, there are seven leagues, not three. Bronze is, of course, the lowest, then you have Silver, Gold, Platinum, Diamond, Master and Grandmaster league.”

Rainbow’s left eye twitched. “What?! This is ridiculous! I thought- Arghhh!”

“I’m sorry, I assumed you knew...” began Twilight.

“Now, sugarcube, it’s not your fault.” said Applejack, silencing Rainbow with a scowl. “But the truth is, at this rate we won’t be able to play with each other for months.”

“Yeah! If we played now, there would be no skill involved, just dumb luck. So we sat down and talked about the whole thing.”

“And?” asked the librarian, watching them intently. That was it. In a second, they would tell her they thought it over and decided to forget about the challenge. She had no doubt of that, especially now that they knew how low their league ranking really was. She took a sip of her tea, hiding a smug smile behind the cup. Good thing she went ahead and wrote the friendship report several days ago. Princess Celestia was going to be so proud of her!

“...And we decided that you should teach us how to play it.”

Twilight was a practical mare. As such, she did not believe ponies did spit-takes in real life – for her, it was simply a comedy technique, suitable for example for a sitcom, or a circus act. At that very moment, however, she was proven wrong as she spat the contents of her mouth all over the kitchen table.

“They want you to do what?” Fluttershy asked incredulously, her eyes as big as saucers.

Twilight sighed. “Actually, they want us to do it. They said that since we know the game we can tell them how to play it.”

“But I don’t know if I can teach them anything!” Squeaked the yellow pegasus. “I mean, I am a high Master terran player, but I’ve never had to explain the game to anypony. What if I get something wrong and one of them loses because of it? Or...”

“Calm down, Fluttershy. The real question here is, do you think we should agree to do this? This could end really bad, for both of them, and for us.”

The timid pegasus fell silent for a moment, deep in thought.

“Well, I think we should. From what you said, it seems they won’t give up, and if we helped them, we could at least make sure they don’t take the challenge too seriously. And who knows, it may turn out to be really fun.” She gave Twilight a small smile.

The unicorn sighed. “Fair enough. I think you should work with Rainbow. You know her best, maybe she’ll listen to you. Is that okay?”

“I think so, I mean, it makes sense... And I don’t need spells to get to her cloud house... Um, no offense.”

“None taken. I will take care of Applejack then. I’ll talk with them tomorrow morning and let them about the arrangements.”

They talked for a few more minutes but, seeing as it was getting dark, Twilight had to finally go back to the library. As she walked in the crisp, pleasantly chilly winter air, she could not stop wondering about how her plan could go so horribly wrong. Hopefully, with the help of Fluttershy, she will be able to talk some sense into their stubborn friends.

Hopefully.