Chapter 0: A guards duty- An introduction to a workaholic stallion
art made by GlitchlessYT
Chapter 0: A guards duty: An introduction to a workaholic stallion (comedy/slice of life/drama)
A cold breeze, a nice view, and an important duty. Most would say its sounds like a dream, a dream that someponies would kill for. But unfortunately for me, this "dream" is reality. A reality that feels more like a never ending nightmare, than a blissful dream. Everyday, at exactly 5:45 I get out of bed, take a shower, dry up, get my morning chocolate water, and get ready for guard duty in the castle. Every, single, day, this hellish routine has been repeating every single day for 10 grueling years.
Some would say "oh glimmer, why don't you spruce up your routine more?"Edited for archival reasons
Unfortunately, as a personal guard for both celestial princesess, I don't have that luxury. After I complete my routine I immediately stand guard in front of the door of the quarters of Princess Celestia, I stand there until her highness, Princess Celestia, wakes up at exactly 6:00 in the morning, I escort her all throughout her routine. She first takes a bath in her luxurious bathroom, I then hand her a large towel for her use, she then steps out after drying off and heads to the dining hall of her morning meal, her meal consists of what I assume to be a salad of some kind, unfortunately I couldn't fully make out what it consists of since her higness was greedily gobbling the salad like she didn't eat for what it seems like, eons.
She then gracefully flings the bowl up into the air and somehow onto my helmet, she quickly apologies as I stare at her blankly, fortunately I've gotten used to her graceful clumsiness everyday, but unfortunately I cant exactly defend myself from her devastating attacks as I neither have a horn, nor a pair of wings. After this whole ordeal that somehow keeps happening every other day I escort her to her throne room and stand guard next to her as she does the tedious job of talking to nobles, other rulers of different nations and the occasional disastrous problem that could potentially destroy the whole of equestria. As she does this I orderly arrange any scrolls that appear out of thin air every couple of minutes, note to self: ask where the scrolls comes from.
After what feels like a century she then gracefully waddles over to her room and hands her duties to her sister, her highnes princess Luna. I then hand princess Luna a cup of delicately prepared coffee made by some poor guard as she somehow prefers mine from any other coffee makers, even from the personal chef of the castle. I'm slightly convinced that she just does it to mess with me and add more duties to my grueling 21 hour work. Nonetheless, I then escort her much the same as her sister, thankfully, she always dismisses me 3 hours before her sister wakes up so i don't go absolutely crazy and actually get some well earned sleep. But as always, it seems like nothing ever goes to plan in my disastrous life as i can barely get even an hour of sleep, heck even a couple minutes of sleep seems like a impossible occurrence each night.
I often instead just stare blankly at the ceiling, thinking about my life and where it went wrong, it was probably when I crashed into a tree when I first appeared in Canterlot, but that's a story for another day. this night in particular seemed even more grueling than the last because an idiot forgot to eat dinner.
As I was slowly going insane due to my insomnia that was nicely paired with a hunger pang every couple of minutes, I decided to slowly sit back up and look at the clock at the side of my mattress, the clock showed 3:45, only two hours and 15 minutes left until her higness, Princess Celestia wakes back up.
"If I stay in my room for even an hour more i think i might actually go insane" I quietly mumbled to myself as I exited my room. I wandered the dark and empty halls of the castle, looking for anything. **ANYTHING** to do,
"Maybe i could help the staff around here," I murmured, "No, that's dumb." I continued
"Maybe clean up my helmet and body armour?" I shook my head. Edited Archive"I don't even know how to clean metal let alone rust."
"Maybe ill just eat a biscuit and end it there." I finally decided.
To any passer by, I would've sounded like a mentally challenged idiot as I mumbled incoherently to no one in particular as I looked for anything to pass the time, while I was mumbling to myself, a sudden gust of cold wind flew into my face and lifted my messy mane up and made it even messier. Confused, I looked around at my surroundings to find where the heck that gust of wind came from, as i looked around my eyes slowly fixated at a open window.
"That's odd," I muttered to myself, "which idiotic night guard left this thing open?" i then sighed and slowly walked to the open window to close it, but as I was just about to close the window I decided to have a little peek outside. I took a while to process it, the beautiful night sky I mean. I... didn't realize that Canterlot could be this beautiful, I always disliked the noisy streets whenever I go outside at day and the streets at night isn't any better, but... this? peaceful, quiet, and gorgeous?
This didn't look like the Canterlot that I know, at least, the vague image of Canterlot that I knew off. I just... stared for a moment, a moment that... I didn't let myself have in the past decade, I slowly peeked my head out of the window even more to feel to light cold breeze that was passing by, for once I was.... relaxed, it felt like I can finally let myself loosen up and relax for a moment, I....haven't felt like this for Celestia knows how long. For a moment, even if it was a short moment, I finally, clearly thought about my life.
I was a.... rambunctious colt, to say the least. I remembered the times that, in my younger years, I used to play pranks on ponies, of course it was light hearted pranks, a whoopee cushion here, a glue trap there, I also remembered how i scavenged for scraps of food in the back alleyways of pubs and candy stores, sometimes I would get lucky, a bottle of water, a can of tomato sauce, and for some reason a crate of bananas were the stuff I would get once every couple of weeks, and each time I found one, I was EXTATIC. Of course, sometimes I wouldn't get anything at all, lucky for me there was a filly that often played with me and she sometimes would give me a sandwich or two that her brother prepared for her, but we only met every so often as she was studying magic or some technical mumbo jumbo like that. She was fun to play around with, and she was my first.... Friend.
"Friend... My first friend..." I quietly murmured.
Now sitting on the window frame I started to remember why I joined the royal guard in the first place, it was to... Protect my friend. It became my goal when she said that she wanted to learn magic to protect ponies, like her brother did, and I told her it was my goal too. I wanted to protect her as she was my only friend... Even up until now. When I was a younger I finally decided to join the guard as a recruit, my friend would've been delighted to hear about that if she was still around. We... split apart when we were young. Something about "hanging around energetic and mischievous colts hinders my studies" or something along those lines.Edited Archive
I felt like I was a burden to her, and she felt that way too. We said our last goodbyes, well I said my goodbyes, she just walked away without batting an eye or even turning to me. I didn't blame her, she was a talented filly after all, and yet she was running around with a useless colt like me. But I never gave my promise up, we may be apart but promises were still promises. I slowly climmed the ranks of the royal guard, first a recruit, then an actual guard, then a personal guard of the castle, then a personal guard to her highness, and when Princess Luna came back, a personal guard for them both.
Along the way I met some... interesting ponies, Captain shining armour, prince Blueblood, and a few more. I also gained the trust and respect of both princesses, the respect of captain shining armour and also the leader of the wonderbolts, Spitfire. But all this time, all of these interactions, all of it was for my duty. All of the talking, interacting, heck even flirting was for only one thing and one thing only, my duty as the personal guard of the celestial princesses. I barely had breaks, I didn't go on any vacations, most of the times I was outside of the castle was when i was guarding the princesses or when I was dragged out of the castle by Shining Armour. Oh yeah, he drags me out a LOT. Something about taking breaks and "taking some you time". I always argued with him but he always rebuts with:
"You spend more time in the castle than the princesses and that's not a compliment,"
I always sneaked out though and went back to the castle. I guess that should be my cutie mark, they would call me "sneaky bandit that glimmers in the night" If I had that cutie mark, I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. Either way, I would have my cutie mark regardless. I suddenly snapped out of my daydreaming, or is it night dreaming, when I heard a shout at the corridor next to me. Edited, mostly spelling and I's. Didn't change the grammer to make it more authentic
"Hey Glimmer! where in equestria are you? Your late 5 minutes, is something wrong?" a stallion shouted.
I immediately recognized the voice, but decided to not react to it. A few moments later, I heard the same voice saying,
"Oh there you are! Glimmer we're worried sick for you, you've never been this late before! Your even more late then the time you fought an ursa minor and almost got your head chopped off, "He said, with a light chuckle at the end.
This stallion was Captain. Shining armour, the head royal guard and pretty much my big brother at this point.
"Is something wrong? Princess Celestia was surprised when you weren't there to greet her this morning, we almost called a search party for you!", I considered jumping off this window at this point.
My mind was blank with no thoughts, so blank in fact that 2 hours and 20 minutes passed by in a flash. Shining was now giving me a concerned stare "Hey, are you okay Glimmer?" I just stared blankly at him and stared back to the window after a few seconds.
"Okay you really do need a vacation, you don't look so good." He then said with a tired sigh.
"Look glimmer, you MAY be the personal guard of both princesses, but you still need to take breaks every so often." He said with a serious tone.
"You can take the day off okay?, ill ask princess Celestia to book a vacation for you on a beach or someth-"
"Do you think her higness would care if I'd just... Jump off the window right now?"
A look of confusion quickly appeared on his face that was quickly replaced by a look of concern.
"Glimmer you really shouldn't joke about th-" "All the times that i joined you when subduing a beast, did you ever think of me as a burden?", I tacked on.
"How about all the times you had to heal me because I kept taking hits from that ursa minor. Did you think of me as burden then?", the look of concern was slowly magnifying on shining armour with each word I said.
Still sitting on the window frame, I out stretched my hoof to try and touch the bright colorful sky as I continued.
"Why am I even the guard of the princesses anyways. I'm an earth pony, from an outside look it seems like the princesses were the ones that were protecting me, not the other way around," I said, with a light but fake chuckle.
Now with a look that is most accurately described to be a look of horror, Shining armour was now opened jaw, seemingly trying to find words on how to talk to me and trying to process what I was talking about.
"Glimmer, we never thought of you like th-", he tried to say but suddenly stopped as he saw my once out stretched hoof now pointed at the ground, outside the window frame, my other hoof following suit.
"Would anypony really care if I just jumped off and splattered on the ground?"
"Would they really care or would they be exhaling a sigh of relief now that I was gone?"
Now, looking back at shining, I gave him a forced smile and looked back out the window. Shining armour tried to grab me with his magic but ultimately, he failed as he looked at me with a horrified look as I jumped out of the window.
"GLIMMER WAIT-" was the last thing i heard before closing my eyes and finally letting myself rest, without any regrets, nor worries as I plummeted to the ground with a splat.
Or that was what I thought but instead all I heard was a flapping noise, most likely from a pair of wings, rapidly getting closer and closer. I opened my eyes with shock as I looked to the direction where the flapping noise came from. Both me and Shining armour gasped with shock and surprise when princess Luna, of all ponies, lept out of the window and tackled me, catching me only a few meters before I went splat. I stared blankly at the sky, dumbfounded, while princess Luna hugged me tightly while flying. I could smell the subtle smell of nightshade as she glided to the ground and onto safety, it oddly made me feel safe and relieved, the warm embrace of a pony that I thought felt so far away yet was right here hugging me tightly, her coat pressed onto mine. We landed with a resounding thud as me and princess Luna went tumbling across the garden, her taking the full brunt of the collision.
We both were panting from the whole situation, princess Luna even more so then me as she for somereason unknown to me, used her magic to keep me safe while the whole collision was happening. I looked to my right, where princess Luna layed and saw her looking at me with a concerned look, scanning my body for any injuries that may have occurred, in turn i look straight at her eyes with a confused glare, that glare suddenly turned into a glare of anger.
"Why," I asked myself, "Why did she save me from my demise?"
"Let her self be injured and get tired and for what? To save me? A useless burden of a pony?" I asked myself with anger expecting for an answer. But an answer did appear itself, but not from the person I expected from.
"Glimmer, are you alright?" a calm yet staggered voice came from princess Luna.
"We-... I, saw you leap out of a window whilst Shining armour look on with shock." she added on.
Now processing the situation, I quietly mumbled "why," to the princess.
"Why did you save me?" I said with an angry tone.
I didn't know why she did it but I'm too angry to ask her with a less aggressive tone.
"To protect you, Glimmer." she said, now with a somber tone.
That answer was not the one I was expecting, protect? ME? I'm the one that supposed TO protect, not to BE protected. At this point I couldn't bare it anymore as I can feel the aqua ducts on my eyes explode with tears, I just devolved into crying and punching Luna on her chest while screaming "WHY" at her, she just took it and hugged me tighter and tighter as I wailed besides her. After a few minutes of nonstop crying on my part, I finally let up and just sniffled quietly while she hugged me close to her chest. A guard that's getting comforted by the princess of the night, how ironic.
Shining armour decided that, for my mental health and my safety, today would be my rest day, so to speak. It also didn't help that Luna was clinging on to me like wet puppy in the cold looking for warmth, well it was more like I was the wet puppy but regardless, i couldn't do my duty today and that was a fact. While Princess Luna was dragging me through the castle, Shining armour said something abut me getting a "change of pace." Of course I ignored him, nothing was gonna pull me apart from my duty, except of course if Celestia ordered me to, or if Luna clung onto me. She decided that the best thing to do to keep me safe and not jumping out of windows was to drag me around the castle and force me to actually explore my workplace, ironically, after a decade of working here, I don't even know the directions to go out of the castle, let alone where the other rooms are. Now lets rewind a little, you may ask how this happened, since I was just ripping my eyes out a few moments ago.
Well for one, after me crying my eyes out, Luna decided to call her sister and talk with her about my working conditions, i tried to rebut against it but all I got was a stare and a
"If we don't talk to my sister about this, you best believe you aren't ever leaving our room for your safety!"
Princess Luna decided that the best course of action was to make a magical leash and drag me around the castle while looking for her sister, it must've been quite a shock to the staff, seeing Princess Luna drag around a stallion around the castle yelling for her sister. It must've been quite a shock for Princess Celestia too since when we found her at her throne room, her jaw practically dropped after the parade that was the cuts and bruises riddled Luna, a tied up Glimmer behind her, and panting Shining armour trying to heal her behind the both of them trotted over to her.
"SISTER!" she yelled with her Canterlot voice, it was so loud that I think I started to see birds at the top of my head, it also wasn't helping that whenever I try to look up, all I see is her tail, thankfully it covered up her more private parts so I can open my eyes without them being gouged out.
"What is it, my dear sister?" Princess Celestia quietly responded,
"HAVE YOU SEEN THE MENTAL STATE OF ONE OF OUR PERSONAL GUARDS TIA?" Luna responded with the opposite volume of her sister, her voice sent wind flying to all directions and made me shut my eyes close so dust wouldn't make my day even worse, it wasn't helped by the fact that the wind made Luna's tail sway.
"Oh dear, did something happen? You sound even louder than usual!" Princess Celestia sly reply made me wonder what the true personalities of the sisters were.
"ONE OF OUR GUARDS HERE TRIED TO COMMIT A UNFORGIVABLE CRIME OPEN HIMSELF, HE WAS LUCKY THAT I WAS NEARBY OR HE COULD'VE TARNISHED HIS OWN NAME!" as she said this, Princess Celestia's face turned from worry, to a face of shock mixed with worry.
"What? Glimmer, why would you do such a thing?" Princess Celestia asked, I merely sighed and gave the best reason on why i did it
"So I wouldn't be a burden to all of you, it just feels like I'm a useless stallion that's guarding both the princesses without any qualifications to do so."
Both Princess Celestia and Shining armour looked on with a face that said "Wait, are you serious?" while Luna gave me a confused expression almost rivaling that of her sister. Shining armour was the first pony to speak up,
"Wait, Glimmer where did you even hear that you don't have the qualifications?" he explained, "You're an over qualified stallion more than anything really."
Celestia added on with "You were the only candidate suitable and powerful enough to guard both me and my sister, except for Shining armour, of course."
Luna, still with a confused expression said questioningly at her sister "Wait sister we thought you said even Shining armour couldn't hold a candle to Gli-" she was then cut off with her sister with a fake chuckle.
"Don't listen to her Shining she's just never seen you at your fullest yet!" Celestia said with even more fake chuckles.
"No, I fully agree on what Princess Luna was about to say, if Glimmer tried to, I think he might actually best me in a competition of strength" Shining armour responded with Celestia looked at him with a sad expression.
They then kept talking about how "Great I was" but I knew better to believe it.
"If I was that strong why did I get beat up by that ursa minor then?" I asked sarcastically.
The answer Shining gave me was... An unexpected one.
"Glimmer that was an ursa MAJOR, and an enraged one too. While yes, you had some help from me and a few more, you still did the most to subdue the beast", after he said this I gave him a questioning stare as he gave the stare back at me.
To break the uneasiness that was in the air, Princess Celestia said,
"Well, I think its the best if Glimmer went on a vacation, am i correct?" They all then nodded in agreement, well, all except for me.
"WHAT!"
I screamed at the top of my lungs, the guards outside the door were now peeking in the room after that one, if they werent already, that is.
"WAIT PRINCESS WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" I shouted again,
"Well Glimmer we were actually planning this vacation of yours for weeks now and todays the day we announce it to you," reality sank in after that.
"I knew I was a burden but their too embarrassed to tell me face to face! So instead they'll drop me off at a random location and never contact me again!" I thought to myself.
As if reading my mind, Shining armour added on
"Well good news for you, you'll still have a job for you when your in vacation," I then sprang back up with joy and jumped up shouting,
"REALLY?", Shining armour then replied with,
"Yes, and your job will be...-"
"WILL BE?" i excitedly exclaimed while still up in the air, oh thank the princess on the throne infront of me, im not getting abandoned! I!
"-Will be to have fun." he then continued. My face suddenly froze up, and I then rocketed back down face first to the ground.
Chapter 0: E N D
Edited. Who knew I had this many spelling issues.
Author's Note
i hate english.
Edited: Me too bud. But hey, you cool!
Chapter 1: Want another biscuit?
"Please, my majesty can you please let me go now-" I was pleading until i was suddenly cut off with Princess Luna saying,
"That is highness for you," she retorted "and no, stop with the pleading from thou."
"Okay, okay!" I responded with a rather impolite tone,
"Aren't you kinda over reacting though? It's only a light bump on my head..."
I then heard an tired sigh from behind my flank, coming from none other than my overworked captain.
"Glimmer," He said with an tired sigh,
"While yes, its only a ""light bump"", it is still worthy for a check up with the Canterlot hospital. It might be something more concerning than not,"
"But can't you just heal me and get this over with?" I said.
He then looked at me, and touched his face, and back at me with a look of tiredness mixed in with a look that says "Im not paid enough for this." He then sighed and looked me dead in the eye and said,
"Glimmer look at me and tell me that again," his gaze unwavering and he continued, "I've already expended most of my mana pool just from one, trying to catch you, two from trying to heal you AND princess Luna the first time around, and lastly from trying to catch you AGAIN."
I just looked at him with a look of pity and looked at the ceiling a few moments after. I felt like such a burden at this point and just closed my eyes until we got to the hospital. While walking to the hospital, I heard chatting from all around me and laughter. Seems like a crowd gathered up at this point, no doubt from the spectacle of Princess Luna, THE Princess of the night, dragging around a guard stallion to the hospital. Thankfully it seems my colleagues from the night guard warned the crowd from getting to close to the princess, and that seemed to calm the crowd down, even for just a little bit.
Now at the hospital, I decided now was the best time to open my eyes and breath a sigh of relief mixed with a groan. Much to my dismay, it seems Princess Luna has tied me to a hospital bed while talking to a doctor right besides me, at least it was the comfortable kind unlike last time. I managed to ward away the drowsiness and listened to their conversation.
"Is thou alright?" Princess Luna said, with worry in her voice.
"Yes, he is alright my majesty. It seems like the head bump was only light and thankfully, it didn't crack the skull or worse damage the brain," The stallion with a doctor's coat said with a monotone way. This side of Princess Luna she was showing was not widely known to the public, especially since they were still afraid of her because of what happened in the couple of months.
After the nightmare moon incident not many ponies has shown her compassion, the first couple of weeks was especially brutal to her since the incident was still fresh in ponies mind. At that time I was still only guarding for Princess Celestia, but one day I stumbled opon her in the gardens where I used to sleep when breaks still existed for me.
While eating a biscuit I nabbed from the cafeteria, I so happened to see Princess Luna crying in the gardens. I was slightly peeved about somepony else at my usual resting spot, even if the pony was one of the princesses. I walked slowly to sit next to her, she didn't seam to notice as she continued to cry while laying prone on the grass, I was calm on the outside but in the inside, I was both concerned for her and annoyed to her as she was making the mood around her into one that i found undesirable. Once i finally sat next to her, they were a couple of moments that both of us were silent, waiting for the other to say something. Finally, she opened her mouth to say something and I decided that, in that moment, I would do something I wanted to do to her sister for a long time.
"Who are thou to sit next to m- HMPH!" She tried to say but I quickly grabbed my extra biscuit that I was stashing in my bandaged area and stuffed it inside of her mouth.
She stared at me with visible confusion while I looked at her, munching on a biscuit of my own. She looked at me, looked at the biscuit in her mouth, and back up to me.
"WHY DID THOU DO SUCH A T-" She again was trying to say, but got interrupted with another biscuit shoved into her mouth.
"WHY THOU-" She tried to say with her eyes now glowing a white, blinfing glow.
"I thought you needed the biscuits," I said, while looking her dead in the blinding eyes of hers, "You looked down, and when I'm down I shove biscuits in my mouth."
She went from a look of anger to a look of confusion, she looked back to the two biscuits in her mouth and silently chewed on them both, clearly thinking of something. While she was thinking i grabbed another biscuit and showed it to her.
"Want another one?" I said with a slight smile.
"...Yes" She said, while she grabbed the biscuit and ate it silently.
I recounted the memory with a smirk on my face, Princess Luna must've known what I was thinking about and put a hoof on my mouth and tied my muzzle shut with a rope while no one was looking. She then looked at me with the most shit-eating grin I've seen from anypony in my life and put a hoof on her mouth to signal me to be silent. I just rolled my eyes as she did what ever mischievous thing she could think of in the moment, the thing she came up was to make a mustache with a white marker on my face and a "stomp on me" message on my chest with a royal stamp. She then read her own message and muttered under her breath,
"Oh! if you say so," and promptly stomped on my chest with one of her hoof. She then laughed at my pain and whispered in my ear,
"That was for all the worry you caused us this day," whilst giggled under her breath and yelled "SHINING ARMOUR, GLIMMER HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO THOU!" and promptly teleported away with a black flash.
I could only sigh as Shining armour opened the door, took one look at me, read the message left by Luna, and promtly sighed and stomped on my chest.
"It's royal orders I cant argue againts that, sorry Glimmer." I only looked at him with a pained look in my eyes, almost crying.
"I'll see you tomorrow, get some rest. Will you?" He then left, not even untying the rope on my muzzle. Shining armour while leaving, put on ear muffs and walked away as his friend's muffled cries for help was put on deaf ears.
Chapter 1: END
Author's Note
armour armour armour armour armour armour armour armour armour armour
