What's Love Got to Do with It?

by Soaring

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Romance, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 6828

A stroll through the bustling Canterlot Gardens with Princess Twilight Sparkle allows Anon to see Queen Chrysalis' statue. Not even Anon knew what was going to happen next.

Anon and Princess Twilight Sparkle are walking through the Canterlot Gardens, when they pass by Chrysalis' statue. Unbeknownst to Twilight, Anon admits that he wants to see her up close.

Nothing bad could come out of this, right?

Art by Nettlemoth.

Warning: Unfettered random shitposting. I do not regret a damn thing.

Tagged Sex for references to the act.

Published 2024-11-30 07:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-12-01 06:10:45 UTC

Hey, Sprinkles, why are you mad that she's out?!

Chrysalis was not in the mood.

She had been encased in stone for quite a while. A long while. A very long while. She watched as ponies walked by her, laughing at her, mocking her. Some even bullied her, and that was something to see—they came by and told her she was scum every single day. It would be daunting if she was a normal pony, but this punishment befitted a changeling deadset on taking over their daily way of life, so she was okay with it. In fact, she was so okay with it that it fueled her as much as love, although they tasted quite bitter and wasn't as filling. One pony who gave her love freely could feed her just as fast as one hundred ponies that hated her.

She mentally licked her lips and furrowed her brow. She really couldn’t do anything in this stony prison, her body just stuck in place where she was frozen when they had struck her. It was a tomb that only she could bear, while she fed on the hatred of the ponies that sought her demise.

Yet…

“Hey, Twilight, can we go see the Chrysler?”

“It’s Chrysalis, Anon. And no.”

He tilted his head at Twilight Sparkle. “Why? Why can’t I go see the statue of the love bug?”

Love… bug? Chrysalis blinked as she watched the spectacle unfolding in front of her. Twilight Sparkle groaned and threw her hooves in the air. “Because she doesn’t deserve attention!”

“Really?”

The princess bobbed her head rather harshly. “She tried to end our lives as we know it. I’m not sure why you’re so curious about her!”

Anon hummed to himself, tapping his chin with his paws. “So let me get this straight, Flagpole—”

“Flagpole!?”

He snorted and continued, “Calm yourself down, Sprinkles, it was a joke.”

“Sprinkles!?”

“Yes. Sprinkles. At least that one starts with the first letter of your last name.” He cleared his throat. “So Christopher doesn’t deserve attention, right?”

“Chrysalis, but precisely.”

“And she’s currently in stone, correct?”

“Exactly.”

“Then why is she in the gardens where every single pony in existence can walk by this exact spot and see her without any issues?”

Chrysalis felt the potent emotions spitting out of his mouth. It made her so full that she wanted to knock this statue known as her concrete jungle over and gallop out of here. Instead, she was still stuck in place, just gobbling up these emotions she received like they were a healthy full meal. Although, what bothered her was that it tasted bitter like friendship, but filling like love. What was this? A blessing in a curse?

“I don’t know why, Anon. I… I—hey!”

Anon had walked over to Flagpole—sorry, Twilight Sparkle and shoved his paw into her mane. He frazzled her mane all up, making her bat him with her forehooves. He smiled with a toothy grin. “You’re being quite silly for such a critically acclaimed Princess of Friendship.”

She snorted. “Silly is the last thing I’m doing here. I’m trying to understand your perspective and, well, my friends and I have tried so hard to become friends with her, but she kept running away and—”

“Are you sure that’s not a you issue?”

“Pardon?”

“A personal problem.”

She oooo'd before she aaaa’d, smacking him with one of her free wings. He winced as she spoke, “It’s not a me issue. It’s a her issue! She doesn’t want to work with us. She just wants to ensnare everyone and siphon them of their love!”

“What if it was freely given?”

Twilight Sparkle's ears perked up. “Freely? You would do—”

“With consent, of course. Not into getting forcibly finagled by a bug with love herpes.”

She blinked. “I guess it would be fine, but the pony who would indulge in that would either be put on a bet, or would be the most recluse pony of… all…” She gulped and muttered the last word, “Time.”

Chrysalis would laugh, but her face was not really feeling it. Her lips were numb, while her arms and limbs maintained their posture. This was her life as a statue, one so unfulfilling that led her to keep herself alive through her delicate magical resevoir. This resevoir allowed her to silently cast a spell for feeding without the ponies noticing (she hoped). It’s worked so far, as the emotional cocktail that Anon gave her seeped into her chitin. If she could actually see it, it probably looked less gray, but she could only imagine.

Unlike the situation in front of her. Anon's laughter pierced the air and the warmth he radiated gave a nice dollop of energy on top of what he already had given Chrysalis.

“Anon, are you saying you would want to be her consort?”

He stopped his laughter and wiped a tear from his cheek. “Spackles, please do not change even for a second. I have only cried this much one other time before. It was when Sunhorse told me I was never going to go back home…”

Twilight Sparkle blinked rather rapidly, before her lips on her muzzle sagged. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—”

The ears that pinned against Twilight’s head suddenly shot up when Anon interrupted with his disjointed train of thought:

“...I cried because it was so funny, I nearly fell off my dinosaur!”

“Anon? Why—”

“Unfortunately, that dinosaur was made of concrete, so I almost broke my coccyx!”

“—your cock?”

“No that’s in the front, the bone I nearly shattered is in the back!”

Chrysalis felt her eyes blink. Then she watched as the two ponies walked toward her statue instead of away from her. Wasn’t Twilight Sparkle intimidated by her presence? Why was she aiding this lovely waste of sperm right in front of her? Not that she was complaining, Anon certainly tasted delightful at the moment.

“F-Fine, Anon. Here she is.”

Anon smiled. “Was it really that hard just to walk right in front of her? I mean, she’s even prettier up close!”

P-Pretty? Even if this form? She could feel her cheeks burn up, the only thing that wasn’t numb at the moment.

"Pretty? Anon she's one of the most evil creatures in all of Equestria!”

“Pretty and evil?” Anon asked, tapping his chin with his finger. “Damn, I guess I've changed my type.”

Twilight facehooved rather violently, nearly knocking herself out. She hobbled in place while Anon looked at Chrysalis. He surveyed her more before turning to his left to see Twilight looking like she was seeing stars. He propped her up with his leg while looping an arm around her neck.

“Whoa, Springles! Who just sucker punched you?”

“M-Myself,” she said lamely, shaking her head. She blinked a bit and looked up at Anon. “Thanks, Anon.”

He smirked. “No problem. Happy I could keep you steady while you recover from your own self-made concussion.”

She snorted. “Shut up.”

Anon threw up his free arm into the air. “This is what I get for helping you out?”

“Yep!” Twilight said, puffing her chest out. She stepped away from Anon and snapped her wings down, giving him a rather stern glare. “You should know that causing your own friend to nearly knock herself out is very against the principles of friendship!”

“Blaming me for your issues is against the principles of friendship,” Anon muttered, rolling his eyes.

Twilight sighed. “Anyway, do you have any questions about her?”

Anon tapped Chrysalis… somewhere. She couldn’t feel it, but it looked like his arm went somewhere toward her leg. Or it could be her chest. She couldn’t move to see and she couldn’t even feel where his hand went but… All she could feel was the love, and the care. She hadn’t felt this in a long time, and if she was strong enough, she would bust out of this statue and probably pony—er, human-nap him. She didn’t need him to be abused by Twilight Sparkle any longer!

“Would you ever release her again?”

The question reverberated in her ear drums. And it definitely looked like it went through Twilight’s too.

“I… I’d consider it if she decided to work with us and really change for the better.”

Chrysalis, if she could be, felt gobsmacked. Twilight would consider releasing her? But she had to embrace friendship. Friendship tasted awful to her—very bitter, almost just as bitter as hate. What was she going to do with that?

Apparently, Anon was radiating with a mixture of that and more. He wanted her friendship, and she might be okay with that.

“R-Really?”

The human’s complexion painted his face dark red, like the blood of Chrysalis’ enemies.

“Although she would be stuck here for quite a while. I can’t trust her enough to let her roam free—”

“That’s great news!” Anon hopped up and looked at Chrysalis again. “You hear that love bug? You could get out of there if you stopped inappropriately touching ponies no-no zones without their permission! That shouldn’t be too hard, right?”

Chrysalis, if she could do anything, would groan, roll her eyes, proclaim that she does not non-consensually siphon anyone’s love (she just takes their hate for her and filters it into sustenance), and declare she would not kowtow to the authority of Twilight Sprinkles and her motley crew of friendship.

But here, she felt different. It must be Anon’s emotions seeping through her to the point of giving her such a contact high, that even she couldn’t think straight. Why was he so into her? Why did he feel this way towards her? It… it didn’t make sense! They’ve never met before!

“She can’t hear you, Anon.”

“Oh shove it you oaf.”

Twilight and Anon’s eyes widened simultaneously.

All at once, Chrysalis started to feel things. Her mouth, her teeth, her eyes, her limbs; her everything all at once. She felt pain seer through her core, making her wince and groan. Her voice, which had pierced through the statue, made it crack and break at a pace unheard of. She could wiggle her muzzle, and look down at it with wonder.

The magic that had imprisoned her was totally vanquished, and she was now standing on that mantle piece, smiling down at the two in front of her, like she just conquered them and was about to invade their personal spaces.

She should do that!

“C-Chrysalis is free?!”

Twilight’s stutter was music to Chrysalis’ ears. “Yes, I am free, somehow. You can thank him for that.”

“Me?” Anon said, pointing at himself.

“Yes, you, Mr. Question Mark. Tell me, do you always radiate so many emotions all at once?”

“First off, my name isn’t Mr. Quest—”

“Anon?! Why aren’t you freaking out?!”

Twilight’s flailing made Chrysalis laugh through her belly. It felt good to laugh now. “Flagpole—”

“NOT YOU TOO!”

Anon laughed and beckoned Chrysalis to hop down. She did, a bit cautiously, fluttering her wings as she gently landed. Only, this time, Anon wrapped his arms around her, which made her yelp. “B-Buh?”

His name burned her lips as the human smiled with glee, showing his pearly whites. “Good to know you heard everything.” He patted her on the head. “And to answer your question, it’s because I am me. No one else can do what I do.”

She felt her lips curl inward, trying to look anywhere else other than at him. “I-I see…” She was going to say more when she had to lick her lips. This was not what she expected. “It’s good to know that somepony—err, some creature looks at me like I’m not someone who should just die on the spot.”

“Totally relatable, Chronostasis. Some of the nobles look at me like that too, but I tend to just tell them to screw themselves. It usually works out, as the guards use them as practice for sparring. It’s pretty entertaining, so much so that Distrack pops out of nowhere to get me some of his chaotic popcorn. I don’t know which crevice of his chaos realm he pulls it from, but it’s really good.” He snapped his fingers and smiled. “You should join us next time!”

“Next time?” Chrysalis said with a head tilt.

“Yeah, since you’re staying at the castle. You’re going to change for the ‘better’ right?”

Her muzzle scrunched up at that one, so much so that she looked elsewhere, primarily at the blue sky. Was it always this blue? “I… I don’t know. I can’t just change in one day. Being evil tastes sooooo good. How could I put that down just yet? I—agh!” Chrysalis suddenly shouted. She wanted to turn to see who just zapped her, but she couldn’t move her head. “Who became more evil than me?”

Twilight Sparkle’s voice echoed in her ears. ”I did. You’re not going anywhere, Chrysalis!” She could hear her hooves clip-clop on the pavement. “Anon, quick, get a bucket for her!”

“Which bucket? The bucket of shit that one guard sits in, or the big bucket that you use to trans—wait, why am I asking that question?”

“I don’t know,” Twilight began as she came into Chrysalis’ view. Blast this pony and her erratic state of mind! “You just said the one that made sense last and— wait a second!” Twilight shouted, her bottom lip quivering. “There’s a guard using a bucket to defecate in?!”

“Pretend you didn’t hear that!” Anon shouted as he raced into what she presumed was the castle.

Chrysalis sucked in a deep breath. Ponies and creatures of all shapes and sizes were staring at her. She could feel their emotions, how some were fearful, and some were confused. These emotions did nothing to stave off her hunger, as that was everlasting torture that only she could bear. All she could do was stay still, rendered immobile by that blasted spell Twilight Sparkle had cast on her. The silly alicorn bested her again.

It bothered Chrysalis so much that she wanted to ask her assailant about it.

“Twilight Sparkle, why have you paralyzed me?”

“Because you admitted you weren’t going to change, Chrysalis! I can’t trust you just yet.”

Chrysalis sighed. “Understandable, given the conditions.”

“So that’s why I—wait, you’re admitting it?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s part of who I am. I’m a dark changeling queen—eh, I was one. Now I'm without a hive, without a home. Without my status, I am nothing. I am just as better off than I was as that statue. In fact, could you just put me back as a statue and tell Anon that you teleported me into the desert somewhere? That would be great.”

Chrysalis could feel Twilight Sparkle’s gaze on her. She closed her eyes tight, while a few hoofsteps echoed in her ears. “Was that a request?”

“More like a suggestion. Anyway, unfortunately for us both, I’m not a statue anymore and you're not going to send me away like that."

"How do you know?"

Chrysalis narrowed her gaze, her brows furrowed. "You're not apt to unalive ponies, let alone discard them just like that. You’re just like Celestia: always parading around her victories like trophies in a room. And when you’re done, you try to reform them with your friendship spells."

"Friendship spells? Chrysalis, I don't use spells to make friends. It's all natural!"

"Right…” She snorted and continued, “Point being, Twilight Sparkle, thanks to you, I think this is most likely the universe telling me to change. Either that or Anon is the real changeling and I’m just a pawn in his plan to overthrow you.”

“Trust me, he’s not a changeling. I scanned him when I first found him,” Twilight said oh so matter-of-factly. “Besides, he wouldn’t do that anyway. He’s…”

She opened her eyes to see Twilight sitting down in front of her. Twilight’s voice had trailed off, but her countenance did not match. She looked up at Chrysalis with a fierce gaze, but then, as it looked like she took in Chrysalis’ words, Twilight’s head fell short, looking at the ground like it was way more interesting than her. She snorted and took in a deep breath.

“It’s interesting, Chrysalis. While you may not understand him, I think I've gotten him down for the most part. Sure, he annoys me with his nicknames, and he tends to be a bit more goofy than even Pinkie Pie, but... Anon’s a very loving guy. He's smart in such a roundabout way. It's probably because he doesn’t think too much. He just thinks enough.” She laughed. “And it’s f-funny to think how that just works for him. He loves working with me, despite me struggling to keep myself together while managing an entire kingdom as the sole princess of Equestria. All the ponies look up to me and I have to do my best to bring them the peace they’re looking for.

“And now… and now that you’re free… I’m worried. You’re a threat to that peace, the peace that I’ve worked so long on establishing. And not to mention, you're a threat to what Anon and I have. As Equestria as my witness, it's my job to not only maintain the peace, but also ensure that no pony else is harmed by you, even if it means permanently shattering your ability to do magic." She sighed and glared at Chrysalis with a thousand suns, just like Celestia would do. "How does that sound for not being apt?"

Chrysalis blinked. “Didn't hear anything about killing me, so you’re still not apt, but that is pretty realistic."

Twilight opened her mouth, but stopped herself and held her muzzle with her forehoof. She gasped. “Wait, really?”

“Of course. You’re just dealing with a threat that refuses to indulge in the ‘power of friendship’.” Chrysalis gagged after saying that, but she continued through a sputtered cough, “I hate it too, but… Anon has made me curious. Friendship has always tasted bitter to me. Is it really worth it?”

To Chrysalis’ surprise, Twilight Sparkle smiled. “Y-Yes. Yes it is. We all have our quirks, and we may disagree with each other, but friendship will always power through, even if you are evil and want to capitulate an entire country that doesn’t even do background checks on their staff.”

“Wait, you don’t do background checks on your staff?”

Twilight plugged her mouth with a hoof. She stared at Chrysalis in horror, before opening said mouth again. “Could you pretend that you didn’t hear that?”

Chrysalis’ snaggletooth wore well in her smirk. “Sure, Sprinkles.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“I don't know. Anon's way of naming you is rather charming.”

“I can jab you with my horn again.”

“Kinky. Are you really that much of a sexual deviant, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Chrysalis. I will not indulge in your fantasies.”

“If you say so…”

Twilight Sparkle harrumphed as her lips tucked inward. Chrysalis could feel Twilight’s discontent roar, and it made her happy. So happy that she licked her own lips in glee.

Then, she heard hoofsteps, followed by an unceremonious clang ring out beside her. Twilight walked out of Chrysalis’ view, much to her dismay. Did Anon bring the bucket with him? And why were they using a bucket? Couldn’t they just magically hoist her above? What a goofy pair of crea—

“Anon, lift her hindlegs.”

“I’m trying, but her ass is too fat!”

Chrysalis growled. “Are you calling me fat?”

“Yes. A good type of fat. Now can you just—aaaah!”

Somehow, someway, Chrysalis mustered up some strength in her hindlegs and tried to kick him away from her.

“Anon!” Twilight shouted, probably going to see if he’s okay.

“Dude, she just kicked me in the face!”

“Wow, and you took that one to the chin. Say, do you think you could do kickboxing?”

“Equestria has kickboxing?”

“Yes, although it’s just starting. No thanks to all your UAFFSee talk.”

“Why did you say UFC like that?”

“Wait, that's how you say it?”

Chrysalis could hear a resounding smack shortly after. It was probably Anon slapping Twilight or something. That would be very evil. Would this count as her (as herself) rubbing off on Anon? It was way too early for her influence already affecting him!

She watched as the two came into view. Twilight was rolling her eyes while Anon was holding his chin still. A red mark on his cheek became very clear to her. That wasn’t him slapping Twilight, that was him hurting himself in confusion!

“Twilight Sparkle, may you humor me for a second?”

“Sure.”

“Why are you taking me in a bucket?”

Twilight pondered for a brief moment with her hoof tapping her muzzle. She then flicked her wings out and smiled. “It’s because using magic on somepony like you may cause you to absorb more magic than you should!”

“Absorb more magic?”

Anon interjected here. “Something about overloading someone who has used too much magic already. If that happens, it could cause your horn to explode.” He watched as Twilight lifted the remainder of Chrysalis into the rather lengthy bucket—how does she fit in here? “Sounds like a lot of hogwash if I’ve ever heard of any!”

“Not even, Anon! It’s true. There’s been… three cases of it.”

“Just three?”

“We only started reporting these things in the past twenty years!”

“Oh,” Anon said. He patted Chrysalis on her withers. “In that case, this makes sense. Although the bucket seems to be a pretty weird choice of container. Why aren’t we using something else, Sparkles?”

“Because it’s the closest thing I could remember. Besides, she’s all set now. Now, if you could be so kind and stop—egh—talking—agh!”

Chrysalis looked down and realized she was already airborne. Twilight had surrounded the bucket with her magic and was being very gentle in moving her. The grunting must be her trying to only focus on that and nothing else. It was great to know that being at the mercy of somepony else could be so laughably terrifying. “Be careful, Sprinkler!”

“I’m trying, Anon, just make sure no pony is in my way!”

The two 'moseyed' their way through the castle, much to the chagrin of everyone else who was visiting the castle that day.

Twilight was panting. Anon was panting. Chrysalis was… panting.

They were in a somewhat well-lit room, with a couple guards blocking the door. Noisy ponies outside were asking questions, demanding answers, and being generally unruly. The two guards were calling them goofballs.

Chrysalis could hear the sound of magic flare. A few purple flickers of dust flew by her face, and she wondered what Twilight Sparkle did now.

And then she moved her hoof.

Oh. That’s what it was.

Chrysalis looked over at Twilight. “Is this where I am to be held, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Yes, and stop using my full name. Twilight is fine.”

“O-Okay, Twilight,” Chrysalis said, feeling her words were way more coarse than usual. They sounded way better in her head. She licked her lips. That didn’t help. “So what are we going to do now?”

Twilight No-Longer Sparkles shrugged. “Well, we could talk about next steps, and to get you reintegrated with society.”

“Reintegrated?”

“Yes, reintegrated.” She slugged her way over to Chrysalis and jabbed a hoof onto her chest. "If you’re going to become a full-fledged member of my kingdom, you’re going to change. And you’re going to like it.”

“You could at least buy her dinner let alone lunch, Twiggles—”

“Anon, please put a cork in it. Just this once, please. My head’s aching and I really need to take a nap.”

Chrysalis watched as Anon gave her and Twilight a hug. “Come on, what’s with the hostility? We can become friends in no time at all, right? Right?”

Chrysalis wondered if Anon was high, or if Twilight's glare was a sign that she was about to sacrifice him to Faust.

She didn’t know. And she was, for once in her life, scared out of her wits.

Anon Got Hit By, Anon Got Struck By... Bughorse Express™

Twilight Sparkle was out like a candlelight, if her unconscious body laying across the floor had anything to say about it. Chrysalis did not see what happened (the blasted spell was still active), but from what Anon had claimed, Twilight was simply really tired and wanted to get some rest. From what Chrysalis had gathered and so far understood about Anon, this was most likely not the case. Plus she did hear something, a loud THUNK that had rattled Chrysalis’ skull while it skipped rope with her frontal cortex.

All roads led straight to him. And now that her body was free from its second prison, she could investigate further.

“Anon, are you sure she didn’t give herself a concussion?”

Anon gave her a slight smile. “Chryssi—”

“It’s Chrysalis, you buffoon.”

He tilted his head. “What’s a buffoon?” His rapid fire blinking earned him a resounding groan from Chrysalis, which spurred him further in his nerve-wracking rambling, “No, really? What does it mean? Is it just some buff raccoon lifting trash cans into the air and piledriving them into ponies?”

“No, the word is you, Anon.”

He blinked again. And again. And again.

…

Then he snorted. “Great joke. Unfortunately, your mother.”

“My… mother?”

“Yes, your mother, Chrysalis. Your. Mother. Besides, I relate more to the phrase ‘classically brain damaged’, thank you very much.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. Out of all creatures that could have been interested in her and that would consent to be siphoned of their love freely, this was the one that signed up? Him? The one whose face is a question mark with a floating smile underneath it? The one who creates nicknames on the fly without considering if they even made sense? The one who decided it was worth walking up to her and saying she was pretty? The one who…

She sighed. The green monstrosity in front of her had more words to spare, his arms folded into his chest as he spoke, “Anyway, Christie, you shouldn’t worry about the friendship addict. She’ll… she’ll come around eventually.”

“Eventually?”

“Yes, did you not hear what I said?”

Chrysalis glared at him. “Yes, I did, you pile of skin and bone.”

“Actually—”

She grunted before shoving her hoof straight into Anon’s mouth, interrupting the nonsense flowing from his gullet. It didn’t stop him from blasting her hoof with whatever incoherent ramblings he was trying to spill—wait, that was probably his saliva, eugh!—and she wasn’t keen on discovering what his feelings were on the matter. No, she had dissipated that spell, the one known as ‘secretly siphoning all emotions that were associated with her intended targets’.

She really should shorten that name.

Thankfully, the name didn’t matter. It would never matter. No other Changeling would even use it, let alone the spell. Those that even could use it despise her, seeking refuge with he who shall not be named. She grit her teeth, choosing to rid herself of the anger associated. She didn’t need to brood over it; it was a waste of energy. Besides, she didn’t need her emotions fogging up her mind. Her decision-making needed to be clear, concise, and without some blubbering buffoon murdering another source of energy she could siphon.

She flickered her gaze back toward that source. Twilight was still knocked out, but her chest started to rise and fall, like she was sleeping off a cold. Maybe Anon was telling the truth after all. She wouldn’t admit that to him, even if the proof was staring right at her. Chrysalis could even hear Twilight’s soft snores, and a smile warping ever-so-slowly on her face. No, Chrysalis couldn’t. She wouldn’t admit that to him! Not even remotely.

Then, why did she feel like she needed to tell him something?

What was this feeling? Urgency was for drones, not for her. There had to be something else. Something that she didn’t notice. Like a spell. Yes, a spell was cast on her to think this way. Anon must have his own magic reservoir and she had fallen victim to his own ploy and—wait.

Wait.

Why hadn’t she knocked him out yet? What was stopping her from making Anon her new practice dummy to completely knock unconscious? Was there a barrier that she needed to annihilate?

Those questions lingered, yet the only thing that physically happened was her staring at him, menacingly. She stared at his paws that gripped onto her hoof, hoping to pull it away from his already plugged-up mouth.

That wasn’t happening. He needed to stay quiet. Maybe she needed to teach him that tranquility could be achieved from simply keeping his mouth shut!

She smirked as she shoved her hoof further in, making his eyes widen.

“Listen you waste—err… willing siphonee. I’ll temporarily remove my hoof from your maw if you promise me to stop your incessant yapping.”

He stopped his deadpan stare for a moment, tapping one of his paws to his chin, before inevitably shrugging at her with his shoulders. Then, he nodded.

“Very well.”

She slowly brought her hoof out, which made Anon gasp for air. He briefly panted, his paws clawing at the ground with each breath, before he coughed and wiped his paws on his tongue. She could have sworn a piece of dirt flew out of there—

“Oh my god,” Anon said, before hacking up another piece of what she thought was dirt. “I think I grabbed the shit bucket!”

“Wait…” Chrysalis muttered, before her eyes widened. She put her bidding in the back of her mind to focus on both the nitwit and her newly acquired problem. “Anon, where is the nearest bathroom?”

“Well, considering we’re in Twilight’s chambers, and I mean we’re not actually in it, but—ACK! Dude what did this guy eat? It’s so earthy and—we’re actually in her study which is connected to her room…”

Then, she witnessed Anon stand up and walk toward the door. “Take a right and you should see it. It’s got this big white door that looks ginormous and—wait, where are you—WHOA!”

Chrysalis had no time to explain to him nor to the slumbering Twilight of her actions. All she had was gumption, grit, and quite frankly, no patience for his rambling. She rushed up to him and lowered her head, which made Anon fly straight onto her back with an emphatic grunt and subsequent pained groan. She knew he would be fine later, and he would probably thank her later for doing this, but if what he said was true, then he needed to wash his mouth out, and she needed to wash her hooves… and probably everything else.

So, without much thought left, Chrysalis smirked and hauled herself out with Anon sort of splayed on her back.

“Hey, could y-you wait!”

“No time like the present, you poor excuse of sperm!”

“At least lower your—”

She tuned him out as she lowered herself a bit. Unfortunately, his suggestion was a tad bit too late, as when she traversed through the big white door that he had said was the bathroom, his head was on a collision course with the top of the doorframe. She knew this because she kept an eye behind her, just to see if he was dealing well with her sudden decision-making.

Clearly, she was about to see if his head was made of steel.

BANG.

She watched as Anon’s body fell backwards. Thankfully, he didn’t hit his head twice in one action, his arm bracing the brunt of the impact. There, on the floor, he groaned and writhed on the soulless granite floor.

Maybe he was built to withstand death?

She skidded on the floor and bumped up against the bathtub, which shot a sharp pain through her back. Thankfully Anon wasn’t still on her back as the force she had would’ve most likely sent him sailing into the wall. That would’ve been the true test. Maybe she could pick him up and try that again real quic—

“Can so-somebody get the l-license plate number on the truck t-that hit me?”

“Anon, are you alive?”

He winced as she looked at him. One of his paws was gripping his head like it was the only thing keeping it up. Yet, despite that, he brought that same paw down and pointed one of his digits up toward the ceiling.

“Barely—agh. Were you trying to kill me?”

Chrysalis shook her head. She wasn’t trying to do that, but now that she thought about it some more, if her test truly had failed and he didn’t get back up, would she have been charged for murder?

…

Probably.

“No, you just warned me too late!”

There, that would totally—

“Fair enough,” Anon replied, shrugging before dusting himself off the best he could (she could’ve sworn she saw some dust come off his pant leg just now. Where did that come from, a sawmill?). “Thanks for the concussion check, though. My doctor would be proud that I was able to visit Purgatory to finally see that the place was a giant factory made of chocolate.”

She raised a brow. “What?”

He snapped his paw at her. “Exactly. Anyway, other than the possible concussion, my dignity got shot in a back alley somewhere. Probably in a big city. Makes the most sense.” He walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. “Wow, I still look like I should’ve been aborted!” He laughed—she didn’t want to know what an abortion was— “Let me real quickly get a swig of that wonderful H2O from the faucet and I will most likely be fine.”

“Most likely?”

Anon shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m not a doctor! Nor did I actually see Purgatory!” He opened his mouth for a moment, only to gag at what he saw. “Eugh, there’s still some of it on my teeth!” His paw suddenly flicked the handle on the sink with no regard for her or himself, for that matter, and his reward surged from the spout where water flowed freely. He held his paws out and cupped them underneath its raging barrage. Once filled with as much water as he wanted, he brought it to his lips and slurped it into his mouth. He swigged the water around a bit, before spitting it out. “Agh, gotta do this for a bit just to be sure it’s all gone.” He groaned. “I can’t believe I couldn’t smell it! Was my sense of smell out for lunch or something?”

Chrysalis watched intently as Anon continued his water-retrieval. “I could hold up my hoof toward your nose just to be su—”

He sputtered out whatever water was in his mouth and threw a paw at her. “No, my sense of smell is back. Besides, that’ll just make me throw up.” He then eyed her up and down. “You should take a bath while I’m doing this. You are not going to go around here with poop-stained hooves and… whatever your body is made of.”

“Chitin,” she breathed out, before letting out a chuckle. “And your paws are—”

“Paws?” He wriggled those little malnourished digits at her. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not!” She shouted, glaring back at him with the intensity of a solar flare. “I have never seen anything like you, so what else am I to do except compare you to a diamond dog?”

He snorted. “A diamond dog? That’s what you thought I was?”

“Well I did think you were a human… but I couldn’t figure it out! Your kind are a thing of legend to the point that the only tales were told were that ‘they had paws’ or ‘they had claws’ and—”

“Hold up there, Crystal. Legend?”

Chrysalis paused and blinked like one of those strobe lights at a nightclub. “You’re… unaware?”

He tilted his head. “Conked-Light probably told me about it once or something and I forgot because it wasn’t important to my wellbeing at the time. You know how she gets…”

She nodded. “Of course. Twilimp definitely has a way with—”

Anon interrupted by shrieking. She winced as the horrid sound pierced her ear drums. “What in the—oomph!”

She was not prepared for the human to throw himself at her, his arms wrapping around her with ferocity. “I am so happy you are contributing to my nickname collection for her!”

Chrysalis flicked her wings out for a moment and threw them toward Anon in an attempt to thwart his sudden attempt at strangling her. “You’re—ack—damaging my carapace you—errk—miscreant!”

He brought her somehow closer to him. Her lungs were begging for air, and her eyes were bugging out. Twilight needed to unconk herself this instant otherwise she’ll— “Hugging you is definitely my new—”

“New what?” Chrysalis growled.

“The neewww… okay, stop looking at me like that! I’ll stop. I’ll stop!” He released her from his carapace-shattering hug. She panted while he continued, “I’ll get back to washing my hands here while you go soak up that kite-in of yours.”

“It’s chitin, Anon and—wait, those things are called hands?!”

“Yes. Hands,” Anon began, wearing the biggest smirk she had seen on his face thus far. He wriggled those digits at her again. They were starting to creep her out, but she wouldn’t tell him that. “And these are fingers. The fact that your books said I had paws and claws means those writers most likely sucked.”

She chuckled. “They probably did. Most of the lore I had heard was based on hearsay, so there was bound to be mistakes. Trust me, I had to pose as some of them.”

“You… had to pose as them?”

“Changelings can take the form of any kind of species Equestria has to offer. This was mostly to help them with disguises to siphon love from potential sources, but that’s just a blip in the history of this wretched place.” She snorted. “And fortunately for you, I cannot shapeshift into your kind. Not that I would.”

“Understandable.”

A smile warped onto her face as she retorted venomously, “You shall be—” Her brain tripped on the crack Anon laid in front of her. “Wait what?”

He awkwardly laughed and rolled his eyes. “Heh-eh. It’s not worth shapeshifting into someone like me. You’ll just get burned in the end.”

She tilted her head. What did he mean by that? “Burned?”

“You don’t need to know,” Anon dryly replied. He turned back to the running water in the sink and continued his deep clean.

Chrysalis didn’t know how to feel about his words. She didn’t know why she tasted a bitter feeling, even if her spell was off. Was that her own bitterness she tasted? Maybe. She didn’t know for sure, her emotions never tasted this mixed. And now that she focused on herself, why was heart beating so fast? Why did everything feel so off?

The only thing she knew was that Anon wasn’t going to talk to her for now. She wanted to know why. Maybe if she cast her spell again, she could sense his emotions and understand them instead of feeding on them. They would be full of turmoil and confusion, at least that’s what she imagined. Channeling that magic to actually feel what was going on would…

She didn’t want to finish that thought. She didn’t want to think about where those words of his came from. She just wanted to wash her hooves and get out of this bathroom. Maybe then things would be alright, and then she would turn on that spell again once Anon decided to stop his sudden mopeyness.

Chrysalis hopped into the bathtub and unfurled her wings. They fluttered at her sides, which made the buzzing noise they emitted all the more annoying to hear. She ignored them but not without vocalizing her distaste with a soft whinny, before she flicked the handle with one of her forehooves. The spigot began to funnel water into the tub. While it wasn’t surging out of there like the sink, she could still imagine it and—

She sighed and bent down to focus on her hooves. Only the sounds of running water filled the air.

Author's Note

Thank you all for the support thus far. Just a few tidbits:

1) The first chapter has been sitting in the archives since early May. Touched it up on the 29th (of November) as some of the wording was not what I would post now let alone back then (don't turn your brain off, folks).
2) This one I just wrote in a few hours. You're welcome!
3) Please enjoy horsewords. Enjoy them from more than just me. Shouting out a few authors that I've read recently here because I like to promote others too! Authors (in no particular order): Faeforches, PKAnon, Visharo, and Muggonny (the goat/Mr.404 image not found).

Anyway, more updates soon. Thank you all again for the support!