Broken bridge to Chaos

by LindenDragon

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Trixie, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Suicide / Self Harm, Fluttershy
Length: 4431

After Discord is accidentally hit with one of Twilight's magic experiments, his connection to Chaos is permanently severed. He now has to get accustomed to life without a core part of his being.

Discord decides it would be funny to pop in on Twilight. That's nothing new. However, this time it could not have been more ill-timed, as just at that moment, Twilight had been testing out an experiment combining Harmony magic and the properties of Grogar's bell.

This permanently severs Discord's connection to Chaos.

Without magic and in a changed body, he has to find a new path in life, and it will not be easy, even with friends there to help him.

Cover art by me.

Published 2024-04-14 17:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-05 22:33:21 UTC

Just one fateful snap

Just a snap.

That’s all it took.

Just one ill-timed snap.

He had only popped in on Twilight for a visit. He’d done it before. He didn't even get to look around at what he had interrupted before he just caught a glimpse of a beam of magic hitting him head on.

It was as if his entire being was a piece of metal someone had hit with a mallet, the resulting chime resonating with his very being to the point it was rending all it touched apart.

Then, finally, the tension reached its peak, and with a resounding snap, it was gone, but that didn’t mean it was over, because so was something else. And his body took note of the newly created nothingness.

It was as if his entire body was collapsing in on itself in order to fill the vacuum, creating the feeling of being stabbed through by thousands of fine needles, and the tension he felt prior was replaced by burning.

An even bigger pain blooms on his underside and entire chest, knocking the breath out of him, and it takes him a while to understand he somehow fell to the floor during all this.

Everything hurt.

His breaths felt like he was setting his throat and lungs on fire. The floor pressed against him and contact with it hurt. Not even the feeling of the mere air on his skin was much better due to how it stung.

Attempting to snap to use his powers or even curl up his body only made him jolt in agony, mouth open in a gasping, silent scream.

Something else touches him, and he flinches away, the movement causing even more pain.

He manages to look at the source of the contact- Twilight. She has to help him.

He desperately tries to say something, but he can barely breathe, let alone speak. He pushes through the pain to weakly reach out, at least he thinks he does.

It's all too much. He needs it to stop.

Then finally, the pain dulled- no, it was still there, he just couldn't feel it that well anymore. His vision was going dark, his hearing had become muffled and distant. Even his awareness had dwindled to the point he couldn’t even take notice of any of it, couldn't think on what it all meant.

Soon, he couldn’t think at all.

Then, finally, a coldness settles over him right as he falls into complete unawareness.

.
.
.

It's cold.

He’s so cold.

Curling up his small body barely helps, and his differing arrangements of furs, feathers and scales do not help how different each part of him feels the cold.

A bit away, there’s a dwelling, warm light escaping its windows, but he already knows he is not welcome in its warmth.

If only he had his own place.

A place where he’s safe.

He was told he can mold the world to his liking once he’s at full power, he thinks.

It’s worth a try.

He tries to use his powers, he tries to imagine his own house, a fire, anything. Nothing happens.

He can barely move or feel his claws anymore. He doesn’t have much time.

In a desperate bid, he presses his digits together in an attempt to better focus that power into something, using the last of his strength to reach out to… somewhere.

And that somewhere reaches back.

Right in front of him, something, a window, a doorway, opens up. It looks nothing like the light of the houses, yet it looks so inviting, almost beckoning him. And he follows.

Just stepping inside as he leaves the cold behind revives some of his strength.

Suddenly, everything he imagines comes to him much more easily, literally manifesting right in front of him.

It made no sense, but who cares, this was so much more fun.

A feeling blooms in his core, not the kind of superficial warmth he was initially seeking, but something that soothed a deeper part of him.

He has his own place now. A place where he’s safe.

He was home.

And all it took was just a snap.

Author's Note

I saw that this kind of au doesn't really exist, or at least I can't find it, so I decided to rectify that.

No more discord

Time had no meaning in the nothingness his mind had become, interspersed with small moments of… something. Sometimes it's a dull ache, sometimes it’s pinpricks all along his body that then feel like he’s dissolving into foam, sometimes it’s distant voices whose words he forgets as soon as he grasps their meaning. He can’t seem to keep any thought for longer than a blink, in fact.

This time, he feels like he’s been submerged in jelly and thrown around haphazardly. By the time it ends, his body is stiff in a way only topped by the time he was literal stone.

“Discord?” Someone’s calling his name, but it’s still muffled in the jelly. He should try to swim out.

His arm barely moves, and that pinpricky static returns.

“Try not to move much Discord. You’re safe here.” That’s Fluttershy, isn’t it?

He wills his surprisingly heavy eyelids to open, at least. He doesn’t want to worry her much.

The light is almost blinding. And it takes him some time to adjust. When he can finally see in front of himself, Fluttershy’s face is relieved, yet crumpled in concern. Did something happen? Can’t she see he’s fine? He opens his mouth to speak, but it’s almost as if he forgot how to move his muzzle and his throat rasps with every sound he tries to make. He needs some water.

By some coincidence, Twilight- he didn’t even realize she was there- levitates a glass right to him before he can snap his claws. She gently levitates the water itself into his mouth to help him revive his throat. Good eye to notice he doesn’t trust his movements right now. He notes on the side that he seems to be lying on a simple bed.

Clearing his throat, he attempts to speak once again. “Twilight, what spell did you hit me with? It actually managed to do a number on me.” he manages to rasp, adding a small smile to lighten the mood.

Twilight’s already somber face turns grim, her brows creasing and frown deepening.

“It’s no big deal.” he assures them despite how stiff his body feels. “I’ll be fine. I just need to stretch a bit.” he says as he extends his arm to alleviate the feeling, only to wince at the lack of flexibility. This was almost like the two times he got out of stone.

“You should avoid moving so suddenly.” another voice joins in. They were in the background, but now he notices a unicorn pony doctor is in the room too. Well, no wonder Fluttershy was worried. If he was knocked so out of his chaotic balance they had to get medical help. Almost like that time he pretended to be hurt by Sombra, but it was for real this time. He was still a little sore. Couldn’t even stretch his arm a few feet properly. Just as he thinks that, something catches his eye.

“Huh.” he looks at his paw, now partially covered in scaly skin, akin to his eagle claw. Strange, and not the kind of strange he usually goes for. When had he decided to rearrange his limb structure, and in such a way too?

“Discord, the spell…” Twilight struggles to speak, voice heavy with guilt and grief, “It’s been weeks since my spell hit you. You’ve been in a coma since. We had to put you in stasis then let your body progressively stabilize.” Shocked, Discord looks towards Fluttershy, who is barely holding back tears at the reminder. It must have looked really bad then.

“Oh… I’m sorry for worrying you.” he says lamely, “But I’ll be fine, right?” He’s not sure if it was meant as a question or an assurance, or to whom.

“Your magic…” Twilight continues.

Of course, that explains why he felt so weak. “Oh, has it gotten drained while I recovered from your experiment?” he asks, ignoring how Twilight flinched. “I’ll just have to rest for ages then.” This wasn’t the first time he’s had to rest and recharge after expending a lot of his power. Even he had limits.

Twilight’s expression grows even grimmer, to the point it manages to send a pang of worry through him, one he cannot shrug off this time.

“Twilight?”

“I ran tests.” Twilight says, voice wavering, “There’s no sign of thaumaturgical presence on any of them.” the words sent a cold, hollow feeling through his entire being. It would mean there’s no magic in him at all.

“No. Maybe your tests just can’t measure chaos magic-” he tries to argue, panic starting to grip him as he pulls at his ears to try to calm himself. “I just have to rest, then it’ll come back.” It has to.

“Discord. I’m certain, your chaos magic wasn’t drained or taken.” she visibly braces herself for what she says next, “Your link to it has been severed.”

Even back when he’d had his magic drained or restrained he still felt the bridge between him and chaos, his reserves had just been empty and were refilled drop by drop. Even then chaos was still part of him. As he attempted to reach into his core and beyond, he saw Twilight was right. That connection was gone now, not a single transdimensional string to be felt. Just a hollow void with nothing to fill it.

He looks to Twilight with desperation he hadn’t even felt at the attempted takeover on the original day of Twilight’s coronation, “You caused it. You can fix it too, can’t you?”

Twilight takes half a step back before composing herself, “I can try to find a way into your dimension and connect you back, but without a lead to it… I don’t know if I can find it at all.” she hangs her head before looking back at him remorsefully, “I’m so sorry.”

The doctor decides it’s the perfect time to join in “You… may have to accept the fact your current condition is permanent.”

The chasm-like feeling in his core deepens. His chest constricts to the point of feeling as if something was crushing him. “No.” he whispers. He looks at his now trembling manticore paw again, snapping. Nothing happens.

“No no no.” his breaths are coming out shallow and quick now.

“Discord-” Fluttershy reaches out, staring at him with pity. Everyone is staring at him.

He flinches back, away from everyone. Away from their stares.

-snap

He needs to get away.

Before he knows it he’s scrambling off the bed and falling to the floor. The impact sends pain shooting through his body, a gasp stuck in his throat. He opens his eyes after what feels like an eternity of catching his breath.

They’re still here, staring at him, and he doesn’t remember the last time he’s felt so small.

Fluttershy is by his side attempting to steady him, and now that he’s on the floor, he realizes- he is smaller.

He needs to get out of here.

Somehow, he makes it through the door and into the hallway. He realizes he’s managed to break into a run on all fours. His body is screaming at him to stop, but the urge to run, to get away from all this somehow is stronger. Or is that Fluttershy and Twilight screaming after him? He can’t tell. Everything is so jumbled and he can’t make sense of it. He’s supposed to like that. But no, this kind of confusion, one he could make nothing out of, was agonizing.

His heart was beating out of his chest. But it wasn't. It wasn't. It was just thudding confined in his ribcage that felt closer to collapsing on itself with every breath he took.

Even as his limbs and lungs burn, he weaves through the hallways. Where is he anyway? Where is he going? Away. Away from all this, somehow. That’s all that matters.

At some point, he tries snapping in the middle of running, and he loses balance, barely cushioning his impact with the ground using his arms.

He gets up, whipping his head around, immediately regretting it as more pain shoots up his neck. But, it seems he’s alone.

He can’t let anyone find him like this. So small,

helpless,

cold…

-snap

…Nothing happens.

Something on the floor catches his eye- his shadow, contrasting the light streaming through the window. Something’s not right. His horns are missing.

-snap

Nothing happens.

There’s something wet on his claws, he realizes. He holds his griffon claw up, it’s covered in red- blood. When was the last time he even thought about having it?

Growing more nauseous, he turns around to avoid his new and unchanging shadow, only to come face to face with himself. Of all the places, of all the stained glass windows he could have ended up at.

-snap

Nothing happens.

He grips his ears to try to calm himself as his vision grows darker. His body is growing colder.

He needs to go home.

-snap

Nothing happens.

As weakness overtakes him and he slumps to the ground, he looks up at the window almost pleadingly, as if it’s one of his doubles that could help him. The image only stares back at him, unmoving. Nothing happens.

His heart sinks along with his consciousness as the thought hits him- that’s not him anymore.

The nothingness overtakes him.

Author's Note

Finally, the storry kicks off properly. Next up, Fluttershy POV chapter.

Wrong

The news was something she never thought she'd hear, despite all they've been through prior.

There was an accident, enough to hospitalize and gravely injure Discord.

Discord, Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, almost died.

She had to see him. They had barely gotten him stable, and who knew if it would last.

It took a day’s travel, but she made it to Canterlot castle, going straight to the special medical wing they have there. Twilight was waiting for her, ridden with guilt and grief, hunched over books and papers, surrounded by flasks and other alchemy equipment.

Her heart sank when Twilight explained what happened. Twilight had been conducting experiments with Harmony magic and Grogar’s bell. Discord wasn’t even supposed to be there, he just popped in at the worst possible time.

But the worst part was only coming. The spell had taken away his Chaos magic.

“Can’t you give it back? Or will he need time to recover?” she’d asked.

Twilight shook her head solemnly “It’s not that Fluttershy. I wish it was but… his magic wasn’t taken, it’s gone. He gained his magic through the connection he has with his dimension, but I think the spell caused a resonance that severed that connection- permanently.”

“So he’s… fully without magic now, forever?”
Fluttershy knew he basically became like everypony else, those without magic anyway, but she knew his magic was part of who he was, something he’d lived with his whole life.

She still needed to see him. Twilight had warned her it wasn't pretty. She had told her they had to put him into stasis and a coma to slowly recover. When she finally saw him, he lay there in a glass-encased quarantine room, unmoving and hooked up to all manners of machines and fluid bags. She expected that much, but she also saw that his fur, feathers and scales had started to fall off or change color by the time she got here. She thought he was falling apart. According to what Twilight told her, had they not stabilized him, he would have. However, one thing that stood out even amongst all that was the yellow and black vortex-like mark on his right shoulder- the place the spell hit him.

She decided to stay in canterlot for the time being, having already relayed her duties onto someone else.

Then, his body coverings started to grow back, but different. His manticore paw was a darker brown, and there were bald patches beginning to scale over. The doctors’ theory was that his body was attempting to “balance itself out”. When the spell took his magic, it had created micro-lesions throughout his entire body. It was explained that it was somewhat like he was dehydrated, except here, they had to slowly accustom his body to fill in the gaps physically rather than with magic.

One day, she came by to visit, only to see he was missing his horns. The nurse had to calm her down and tell her the only reason they had fallen was because new ones were growing in. And sure enough, she soon saw two small yet identical horns emerging from his skull. It was somehow both relieving and frightening.

He woke up a few days after that. The doctors said he was healthy enough to be woken up, and Twilight had assured her that in recent years, spells have been developed that kept a creature’s mind in check and allowed them to regain their bearings and movement within minutes of waking up from a coma. At least that would make Discord’s transition into his new life less frightening.

She always knew it would be hard, but the moment he opened his eyes to show white sclera, the full weight of how different things would be from now on sunk in.

He didn’t take the news well. She expected that much, but she didn’t expect him to cower like a cornered animal and to even be able to bolt out of the room before anyone could act, ripping out his IV in the process.

She immediately went after him, calling out his name, worried he would hurt himself, bleed out or suffer permanent damage to his body. His injury was bad enough to leave a light blood trail, but at least they could use that to find him quickly. They found him passed out right in front of his stained glass mural. He looked so small, in every sense of the word.

After the medics bandaged his talons and carried him back to his room, she asked to stay with him as he woke back up. She should have known crowding him wasn’t a good idea. They agreed as long as she made sure the IV wasn’t ripped out again and he wouldn’t run again.

He woke up about an hour after, and Fluttershy hoped that he remembered what happened prior, that he doesn’t have to go through this realization twice.

She watched as his confusion morphed to a blank look as the realization dawned on him. He stared at his claws, then slowly lifted them to feel his head, lightly rubbing at the small newly sprouted horns. Every passing moment, his sorrow became more and more apparent the more his situation sunk in. His expression then became one of grief and uncertainty as he finally turned to face her. Even though she’d braced herself for this, she felt a pang in her chest at the fear and pain in his eyes. Fluttershy leaned closer, inviting rather than initiating contact this time. In stiff movements, he gingerly rested his head on top of hers as they held each other. For a few seconds it’s silent, until she heard and felt his breath hitch, then again and again. She felt his tears soak into her coat, and she’d have said he was crying rivers, had it not been for the fact he actually would have done that if he still could. Then again he wouldn’t be crying if that was the case.

She held him for as long as he needed, even after he’d calmed down, exhausted from crying and limp in her hold.

The doctor checked in sometime after, beginning to explain Discord’s condition in more detail and how to live with it. It was mostly how others lived, those who did not have chaos itself flowing through them, making them able to ignore all the needs their body should have, but it would be a big adjustment for him. He had been treating his body like a plastic toy and only eating out of enjoyment for years.

She kept note of everything for him. He didn’t seem all there yet. However one thing snapped him out of his stupor for a bit.

“If your condition doesn’t worsen, you can go home in a few days.” the doctor had said, and Fluttershy heard Discord gasp beside her.

“Home, my dimension- I can’t go back there anymore.” Discord uttered, gripping his face. Fluttershy’s chest twisted at the words. He was right, that dimension wasn’t just his source of power, it was his home, the place where all his possessions were, where his house was, where some of their tea parties were held.

That was all gone now, and he had nowhere else to go.

Fluttershy swallows the lump in her throat. “…You can stay with me for now, like when we first tried to reform you” she offers. “We’ll figure something out, we’ll get you someplace to call your own.” she avoids saying it will be a new home, she cannot make that promise.

Discord silently nodded, his talons squeezing her hoof, his mind obviously still stuck thinking about all he’d lost.

The next few days were spent with more checkups and Discord adjusting to everything. Actually eating food all the way, eating a proper diet in the first place, getting used to the new limits of his body. Fluttershy could tell it was uncomfortable and foreign to him, but at least he found it in himself to try to mask it with annoyed comments occasionally.

Fluttershy reluctantly went back to Ponyville a week after Discord woke up. Twilight and him both wanted to continue conducting experiments and research ways to regain access and connection to the Chaos realm.

“I’ll be good as new soon, Fluttershy.” Discord had assured her, but even then, his optimism seemed less than genuine,
his smile the barest bit tense.

She saw Discord at the next council of friendship two weeks later. Twilight had explained before she saw him that her further research yielded no new leads to a solution. Just as they had feared, finding a solution could be a long time away, or even never. Because of this, a new house on the outskirts of Ponyville, somewhat near Fluttershy’s, was already being built for him, and he’ll have an unconditional monthly allowance to live on as compensation, but that he’d be staying with her for the time being if the offer was still on the table.

Discord was waiting for her in front of the throne room. His beard had regrown somewhat, as did his new horns, looking like something between his deer antler and goat horn. He looked tired, and she knew it wasn’t just from the experiments. As they were entering the throne room, she also noted he’s walking on all fours. He in turn noted her observation. “Walking on just my hind legs without my magic for long isn’t good for me, I’ve found.” he states, barely audible and devoid of emotion.

“Oh, that makes sense.” She’d only now realized how many health issues the way his body was built could bring in the future. With his body as asymmetrical as it is, even with the attempted balance it went through during the coma, he’s bound to get weight distribution-related problems at the very least.

The rest of the Council of friendship was there too, all giving Fluttershy, Discord and Twilight sad and occasionally nervous glances. Twilight herself was tense whenever she addressed Fluttershy or Discord, guilt flashing through her expression whenever her eyes landed on the draconequus.

Discord did not say a word at the meeting. No jokes, no quips, no gags, no props, nothing. It was like he wasn’t even there. She knew he had no powers and likely wasn’t in the mood for anything he was still capable of anyway, but it was jarring nonetheless. It was wrong.

Once the council ended the meeting, Twilight had arranged for a carriage to bring Fluttershy and Discord back to Ponyville. The only thing deposited into it was a small saddle bag with the symbol Discord had once told her meant entropy. Unless he’d gotten himself some new belongings, she knew the bag only contained medical supplies. She made a note to ask Rarity or even Pinkie to organize a shopping trip later on.

He remained quiet throughout the entire entire trip. Fluttershy had tried talking about whatever she could think of- her animals, how to potentially furnish and decorate his new house, but Discord only gave short and vague answers, absentmindedly looking at the sky and landscape. She herself went quiet soon as well, silently leaning against him and hoping it brought him at least some comfort.

Once they were back at the cottage, Discord simply stood in the living room, unsure of what to do next. This was wrong, he’d always be doing something, anything, even if it made no sense, just to fill the silence with chaos, just for the sake of always doing something, as if in perpetual motion.

“Do you want to do something before we go to bed?” she suggests lamely.

He blinked, and she caught his paw twitch. “No, I’m tired.” he finally answers, and Fluttershy just knows how much it pains him to say and fully mean it, that he’s tired, that he can’t do anything and everything anymore.

“You can sleep on the couch. Call me over if you need anything.” she tells him, handing him a spare blanket and pillow. He just took them wordlessly. “We’ll discuss things tomorrow. We’ll figure this out together” she assures him in an attempt to get him to say anything, show any emotion.

Discord just nodded, going straight to his temporary bed on the couch. He lies down slowly, letting out a tired sigh as he settles into the cushions.

She gives him one last look before retiring to her own room, “Goodnight Discord.”

“Goodnight.” came the quiet, listless response that made Fluttershy’s heart shudder. This was wrong, it was wrong for him to be like that. But… they’d both have to get used to it.

Author's Note

Time for Fluttershy's pov. I finally got the introductory chapters over with.