The Broken House

Eggs sizzled on the pan, filling the room with the aroma of pepper, salt, and protein. A breadknife sawed through a loaf of wholemeal bread, dividing up two, thick slices onto a nearby plate. Shortly after toaster popped with a metal ding, and a dark pink hoof reached out to grab the toasted bread. A knife cut through warm butter, sitting under the summer sunlight of the window, and spread evenly over the warm, crispy bread. As the two slices of toast were removed and buttered, the other two bread slices were placed in the toaster and inserted all the way in with a push of a lever.

The finished egg was hoisted with a spatula from the frying pan and placed delicately next to the finished toast. Spreading a dollop of honey butter on the final two pieces of toast, Cheerilee reached out to grab her completed breakfast plate.

Trotting through the archway leading from the kitchen, across the foyer, and into the dining room, she joined her housemate at the table. A book lay open by Carrot Top's breakfast and she distractedly ate while methodically reading through it.

Placing her own meal by a steaming cup of tea, Cheerilee sat down and began to dig in. As she bit into her toast and washed it down with a sip of tea, she casually asked, "What'cha reading?"

Carrot Top turned a page, stuffing a stray piece of fried hay into her mouth. After swallowing, she said, "School stuff."

"Ah," Cheerilee nodded, taking another bite before pressing further, "How's that going?"

Sipping from her coffee, Carrot Top finally looked up from her book and rubbed her eyes, responding, "Could be better. Didn't get any sleep on Friday. Had to double-shift at Rubble's, then go at the crack of dawn the next day to help the family haul to the market."

Sometimes, whenever Cheerilee thought her life managing Ponyville's only functioning school was hard, she simply looked to her housemate. Having to deal with overbearing parents, who were very hesitant about her leaving the family carrot farm, while juggling her apprenticeship with a construction firm and her courses at the trade school, made Cheerilee's own life of grading essays and shepherding unruly children seem like a vacation.

Carrot Top stopped rubbing her eyes, closing her book and deciding to finally fix her attention on her friend. Taking a bite of her own, half-finished toast, Carrot noted, "That stallion next door was eyeing you up."

Cheerilee choked slightly on her tea, before wiping a stray strand of her mane, "Oh, it uh... I'm sure there wasn't anything meant by it."

Carrot Top giggled, brightening up despite her sleep deprivation. Shifting the subject, she asked, "So you think he's gonna try and dodge Pinkie Pie?"

"I think he might try," Cheerilee said, "I hope he doesn't try, though. Remember the last time ponies tried to shirk Pinkie Pie's party...?" she shivered.

There was a knock on the door.

Cheerilee pushed back from her breakfast, "I'll get it," she offered as she got up.

Carrot Top offered no argument as Cheerilee walked around through the arch and down to the front door. Opening the door, she pulled back the door as far as the chain would allow.

A familiar bright, pink mare stood on the other side of the door, smiling.

"Oh, hi Pinkie Pie," Cheerilee greeted.

Pinkie Pie somehow smiled even more brightly, "Hi Miss Cheerilee! Have ya met the stallion next door?" she asked.

Cheerilee blinked, "Yeah...?"

"Okay good," Pinkie Pie bounced slightly in place, "Can you go his place around five and take him to the party?"

"Ooookay," Cheerilee narrowed her eyes.

Pinkie Pie, face still bright, took a single step closer to the door jam, "Pinkie Promise?"

Cheerilee sighed, "Do I have to?"

Pinkie nodded vigorously, face remaining completely unchanged despite the blur that enveloped her head. Stopping, she added, "Don't need to promise to bring him. Just ask him."

"Sure..." Cheerilee made the motions with her hooves, "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

Pinkie Pie grinned, "You know where it is, right?"

"Yeah I heard about it at the afternoon tea with Rarity yesterday," Cheerilee said, before narrowing her eyes, "...Why me though?"

"Cause he'll listen to you," Pinkie Pie said, before turning around and waving, "Okay thanks bye!"

"Okay," Cheerilee said, frowning and closing the door. From what Carrot Top had mentioned about him looking at her, even if she didn't think it was that serious, she felt come onto already. Then, Pinkie came and suggested he'd listen to her specifically? The entire sequence of events was already perturbing.

Still, it was a bad idea to question anything to do with Pinkie Pie, and she'd made the promise already.

Throughout the day, Cheerilee occupied herself with her chores. She tended to her garden in the back, cleaned her room, and worked through the last few pages of ungraded homework in her study. Eventually, her alarm clock rang at around 4PM, signalling her to start getting ready. Although, if she was honest, the alarm had been unnecessary. The crawling sensation and the feeling of being watched whenever she considered the scenario of forgetting her 5PM appointment was a more than sufficient reminder.

Taking a bath, singing a little song as she styled her mane back into is usual, sensible but still attractive smooth form, brushing her teeth, and flossing, she made her way through her nighttime cleaning up routine early. After cleaning the stubborn few dirt particles left in her hooves, she noted that she probably needed to file them down soon. Shaking her hooves off one last time, she took one last look in the mirror before smiling at herself and walking out the bathroom door.

Carrot Top's bedroom door was still closed. She had gone to sleep as soon as she'd gotten home from her short shift working with her family in the market. Poor mare. Oh well, Pinkie would understand. It wasn't like she was a direct invitee or anything.

Walking down the path towards the ramshackle abode of Midnight Lancer, Cheerilee frowned as she looked at the overgrown yard and the jammed gate. Ponyville had a lawn care service, and they existed partially for complete disasters like the ones before her. Was he poor? He owned the house, so that seemed a bit unlikely. Maybe he was just going to get to it on his own time, she supposed she could respect the dedication of trying to fix up a disaster. Maybe Lancer was just a fan of house flipping or something.

Noting the overstuffed mailbox and the rotting paper sitting in the moist grass, Cheerilee heaved herself up and over the gate. Trudging through the jungle-like lawn, she was glad that ticks were fairly rare in the grasses of Ponyville, mostly due to the magics cast on the land to keep back the Everfree Forest.

"Helloooo?" Cheerilee shouted out towards the empty windows of the home, "Anypony home?"

Emerging from the dense, grassy abyss, she climbed the stairs of the porch. With a small yelp, she stepped on a loose board, one she seemingly missed or that hadn't been there the previous day, and nearly fell flat. Her forehooves caught her and she pulled herself back up onto all fours. With a grunt she dusted herself off and approached the door.

"Hello? It's Cheerilee! From next door?" she cried. Her voice echoed dully off the bare, peeling planks and bricks of the structure surrounding the patio.

The door was not closed. Despite the latch being extended out and the handle being neutral, the door hung half-opened, giving Cheerilee a view straight into the kitchen.

Dust and grime covered the countertops. She saw a dead cockroach on the floor underneath the counter. The fridge door was hung open, agape. An opened bottle of milk sat on the counter, outside of the fridge. A loaf of bread was sitting next to the fridge, along with a still packed bag of groceries. She could recognize Apple Family apples spilled from one of the brown paper bags on the counter.

Stepping forward, she poked her head through the door slightly, shouting, "Hello?"

The sight of the inside of the house made her stomach unsettle. A broom sat abandoned in the middle of a floor completely covered in dust, almost as if left there as a sick joke. Grime covered the windows. Cobwebs covered the corners of the ceiling. A few trash bags sat in a corner, right next to several stacks of piled-up patio furniture, a packed up barbeque, and a few lawn ornaments. A ceiling fan spun idly, constantly kicking up dust. Her nose tickled, and Cheerilee let out a sneeze.

"Celestia, how does somepony live here?" she whispered as she opened the door the rest of the way.

She was wary to go any further than the doorframe, both for not wanting to invade his privacy and not wanting to expose herself to the mold particles that were probably floating around with the dust in the air. Eventually, the sound of movement caught her ears and attracted her eyes towards the stairwell. A familiar pegasus began to climb down the stairway, catching her eye as he came low enough to see her.

Cheerilee awkwardly pointed towards the door, "Your door was open."

"Oh... okay," Lancer said, "Sorry to keep you waiting," his eyes went to the basket still sitting on the countertop, "Did you need your basket back?"

"Oh uh, I suppose I can bring that back on the way, but uh," Cheerilee rubbed the back of her head, "I'm here to ask if you wanted to come to your Welcome to Ponyville Party?"

While Cheerilee's day had been fairly laid back, filled with an equal smattering of chores and leisure, Lancer's day had been empty. He'd tried plugging the fridge into a few other sockets to see if it would turn on. It did not.The washing machine had turned on... but when he told it to fill for a wash it had promptly dumped its entire supply of water all over the floor through a gaping hole in the basin.

After occupying himself with reading a book, going for a fly, and returning to find the day had only half passed, he realized just how little he had to do in the sleepy little town. Well, that was not genuine. He had a lot to do. The house was abysmal, and it wasn't going to start cleaning itself. He needed to shop for replacement furniture, especially if he wanted to wash or keep milk cold any time soon, start cleaning the high-up surfaces and the windows...

So he had proceeded to do nothing to even start on his mountain of work. Instead, he assured himself he'd start it eventually, right?

It was because of all of this that he considered Cheerilee's offer even for a second, as it was probably better than spending a night completely alone. Still, the thought of needing to put on a happy face for a ton of ponies for a party was even more exhausting than the thought of starting to wipe down the tops of the kitchen cabinets.

"No," he finally said, "I'm uh... just really tired. I had really terrible sleep last night... and there's a ton to do..."

Cheerilee bit back a 'no kidding', and just tried to give an understanding nod, "Well, just wanted to offer. Pinkie's parties are really good and no matter if you go or not she's still gonna put in all the work to throw the party anyway. Oh, and if you're worried about being the center of attention, she does know how to back up and let somepony breathe."

"No, I'm fine, thanks for the offer," Lancer refused, more firmly this time.

Cheerilee frowned, "Well. You do you. I'm gonna go to the party."

"...Why?" Lancer asked, cocking his head.

Cheerilee shrugged, "Well even if you're not there, Pinkie's gonna still throw the party. It'll be a bit... sadder, but she'll still throw it. She's spent all of yesterday and today planning it and putting everything together."

Lancer narrowed his eyes, "Wait whuh? What planning? Isn't it just like, a little thing?"

Cheerilee felt increasingly awkward, rocking back and forth on her hooves. She felt simultaneously like she was trying to sell him on the idea for no reason, while also feeling like she was being interrogated, "Erm. Well, she usually puts together a cake.And there's probably ice cream. She usually likes doing it outdoors, especially on good days like this when there's no weather scheduled. The entire town usually comes over to it as well."

"Why? I'm just some random pony," Lancer pressed.

She smiled slightly, "I dunno. She just likes seeing ponies happy, I think. Ever since I was a filly and she moved into town, she's been doing it for everypony who moved in," she brushed her mane away from her cheek again, smile growing, "She's a bit of an inspiration. We both like to make ponies smile," she looked back behind herself.

A trio of smiling dandelions on her flanks agreed.

Looking back towards Lancer, she finished, "And she just wants you to show up. If you want you can just leave early if it's too much."

Lancer gave a lopsided frown, looking around the foyer once again. As his gaze wandered, a pause hung in the air and Cheerilee eventually coughed into a hoof and took a step back from the door, "Ahem, well- I'm just gonna go," she took the basket from the countertop and turned around.

He took the final step down the stairwell and said, perhaps a bit too suddenly, "Er- wait. I uh..." he looked up to the cord dangling from the ceiling fan, before reaching up and pulling it, stopping the fan.

"Mmh?" Cheerilee paused, looking over her shoulder.

"I guess I'll go," Lancer acquiesced, awkwardly pawing at the dust at the base of the stairs, "The chores... they'll uh, they'll wait right?"

She raised an eyebrow, "What changed your mind?"

He scratched behind his ear awkwardly. In truth, he felt guilty about turning her down when she'd taken the walk, even if it was only a ten minute stroll, down to check up on him and ask him to come. Then there was the idea that somepony had gone through all the trouble of planning out an entire celebration... even if it was just some hokey meetup with ice cream and cake and a few random ponies. He was also just straight up not sure if he was up for another night of sitting at the table looking over old photographs and books for entertainment.

Maybe they were going to serve something hard so he could knock himself out for the night.

"It'd be rude to not at least show up, right?" Lancer echoed Cheerilee's own sentiment, "Especially if they've gone through a ton of work for me."

"Well, sure," Cheerilee shrugged, "I suppose you'll be flying there? So I'll see you in an hour once I walk?"

"I mean if it's okay I can walk with you," he waved a hoof in front of his muzzle as the dust finally began to settle with the ceiling fans off, "Probably healthy to get some fresh air."

Cheerilee's inner teacher remarked, "Healthful, yes," quickly, she tried to pass it off as if she didn't just try and correct a grown adult's grammar, "Er- it'd be healthful for me to get a walk there as well, especially with how many calories Pinkie's gonna put on display! And sure, I wouldn't mind the company."

The remark, fortunately, seemed to go straight over Lancer's head as he retrieved his wallet and his keys, following Cheerilee out of the door.

The sun was beginning to dip towards the horizon. Its yellow glare was steadily turning a bright orange. Long, wispy clouds, uncleaned leftovers of the previous night's storm, were still hanging around the paling sky. Beams shot from the lowering sun across the hills of Ponyville's rural landscape. As the wind blew through the grass, carrying the distant scent of pine needles and fertilizer, Lancer took a deep breath of fresh air to fill his lungs.

He took flight, going over the overgrown yard and to the other side of the gate. Practicing his court, gentlecolt etiquette, he paused to help Cheerilee back over the gate. She seemed fine enough to do it on her own, having had the previous day's visit to his home to learn how to not tumble awkwardly over the gate and face first onto the packed soil on the other side.

Dusting herself off and brushing a broken blade of grass that was stuck in her mane, she shivered and picked her basket back up, "Whew! You really gotta get that lawn cared for!"

"I know..." Lancer frowned, "I have to find where she put the mower."

Cheerilee blinked as they began to stroll down the path. Their casual pace about matched the march Lancer had done while laden down with luggage on the night of his arrival, so their one hour ETA sounded more or less accurate, "Who's her?" she asked.

"O-Oh, uh..." Lancer swallowed hard, "Er... the previous homeowner."

"Oh? You bought this property from them?" Cheerilee inquired. Maybe she was right about him being some sort of handy house-flipper. She couldn't imagine buying a house like that without that sort of skillset.

"Yeah," Lancer lied, "It was a steal."

"She must have been desperate to get rid of it," Cheerilee giggled, "That place is a liability suit waiting to happen!"

"Y-Yeah," he said, looking away.

They passed Cheerilee's home, stopping for a short while to let her deposit the used basket back into the kitchen. Then, they continued back down the path, eventually joining with the main road leading into town.

"So you're into property trading?" Cheerilee asked, "You one of those ponies who come in and fix up old houses and then sell it for a profit?"

Lancer winced. This time, he decided to be at least partially truthful to the blissfully ignorant mare, "Eh. Not really. I got this place a little while back, and then got leave from my job at the Guard. I decided to come down and try and fix the place up for a little... vacation home. Y'know, to rent out as a holiday home or something."

"Oh you're a Guard?" Cheerilee asked, curiously, "Huh."

"Yeah, for about... four years now?" he nodded.

"Huh. Well, good luck with trying to fix it up. There's not much of a huge tourist scene in Ponyville to attract vacationers. Not a lot of ponies wanna go for camping trips in the Everfree, and Las Pegasus is a bit closer to the White Tail Woods," she paused, looking up at the sky, which was beginning to turn a grapefruit orange, "...It's a shame, y'know? I think there's a lot of beauty here that ponies can miss out on so easily."

Lancer let his gaze linger on Cheerilee for a moment, before blinking and following her eyes upwards. He very rarely spent a lot of time looking upwards. From above, he knew Ponyville as a patchwork quilt of patterned farmlands and fields, but from below... the messy cloud control, the blazing sky, the rolling hills encroaching on his vision... he could see it.

Cheerilee eventually looked back down to the road ahead, adding, "Wellll~ I guess all that would come with its drawbacks. Ponyville just wouldn't be the same if it started to crawl with tourists. Maybe it's blessed by just being a nowhere, railroad junction between southern Equestria and Canterlot, y'know?"

"Yeah, I get that," Lancer nodded, taking his eyes off the scenery and back onto her. Changing the subject towards the mare, he asked, "So, what do you do?"

"Oh, I'm a teacher. I'm basically the only faculty of Ponyville Primary," Cheerilee chuckled, "It's a lot of work. Basically the entire town's primary school-aged population goes there."

"Yikes," he winced, "I couldn't imagine trying to deal with snot-nosed foals all day."

"I could," Cheerilee smiled, "It's rough sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world."

Midnight went silent. That statement reminded him of somepony. Fortunately, Cheerilee seemed content to walk in silence for a while as well. Eventually, the town came into sight in the distance. As the sun grew lower, the lights had flicked on in town, casting a warm glow into its surroundings and on the sparkling river that wove through. The Southern Express train was just pulling away from the station, its long white plume of smoke following it as it chugged away down the tracks.

The pop-up market in town square had been packed up for the night, although Lancer wouldn't have been able to tell if Cheerilee hadn't pointed it out as they came within eyeshot. In its place, long ropes of fairy lights had been propped up between the street lanterns on the plaza. Picnic tables had been dragged out everywhere, and the square was filled with just as much activity as it had been when the market was up. The clock tower looming over the town rang as it struck 6 o' clock.

"Just on time," Cheerilee noted, sparing a glance towards the clock.

Before Lancer could open his mouth, a loud voice squawked over the speakers set up by the stage, "Aaaalright everypony!" a bubbly, high-pitched voice boomed, "I'd like you all to give a big, warm, Ponyville welcome to Midnight Lancer!"

Lancer instantly felt like melting into a puddle as what seemed like millions of eyes turned towards him. Cheerilee gave an awkward smile, stepping away from him as a chorus of voices echoed greetings of, "Hi!" "Hello!" "Welcome!" some half-heartedly, others with genuine optimism.

"Why don't we all introduce ourselves while our live entertainment comes on stage and we prepare the cake!" There was applause at the mention of cake as Pinkie Pie walked off stage, being replaced shortly by a country band.

Lancer's wings flared defensively as a brown earth pony with a silver mane and a ruffled collar stepped forward, extending a hoof, "Good evening, Mr. Lancer! I'm Mayor Mare!"

It was fortunate that the mayor was the first to step forward, as it was one of the only ponies whose name wasn't a complete stranger to the extremely nervous Midnight Lancer. Reaching out and taking her hoof, he said, "Oh! The Mayor?"

"The one and only, ten terms and counting!" Mayor Mare preened slightly, before retracting her hoof and taking on a more reserved tone, "I do hope the utility ponies were timely with reconnecting your house to the grid."

"Oh, yeah. You really helped me avoid a headache to be honest," Lancer nodded, "When I got home and remembered there wasn't any power or water that was, uh... yeah. I hadn't even really thought about that before getting on the train."

"Oh it's no problem. Just remember to mail the company next time you're going to leave your property alone so that you won't have to pay the reconnection fine!" she waved a hoof, before stepping aside, another pony wanting to greet Lancer.

A rotund earth mare, along with a skinny earth stallion, stepped forward. The stallion greeted, "Hello, Mr. Lancer! We're the Cakes. We own Sugarcube Corner."

"Hi..." Lancer replied quietly.

"We hope ya enjoy the cake," Mrs. Cake said, her voice earnestly sweet, "We always save something special for Pinkie's ad-hoc parties."

Lancer simply blinked.

Mrs. Cake's smile stayed where it was, but seemed a bit more forced, "Anyway!" she dismissed, taking her husband's hoof, "Hope you have a good one!"

The next face to step forward was more familiar. It was Applejack and the tiny entrepreneur Bloom, accompanied by a big red earth stallion. Applejack stepped forward first, "We already met, but I'd like to introduce mah brother, Big Mac."

"Oh, uh, hi..." Lancer mutered, eying the much taller, much better built farm stallion.

"Eeyup," Big Mac nodded.

Cheerilee stepped back from Lancer, not all that interested in watching half the town greet the stallion. Instead, she looked for familiar faces in the crowd and more importantly: some food to eat. While she didn't find any of her friends amongst the crowd, she did find the refreshments table.

There were a lot of hay burgers, a giant tank of hot chocolate, several jars of marshmallows (both small and large varieties), as well as several bottles of soda in an array of flavours. There were also a few sweets piled up on a bunch of display plates and racks that she recognized from Sugarcube Corner's many, many catering events. There were a few freezers of ice cream, filled with vanilla, berry cream, and chocolate. Finally, there was a tub of sprinkles for adding to the ice cream cones.

She frowned, hot chocolate was a weird thing to go with a hay burger... and weird to have on a summer's day. Mysteriously, all the hay burgers were missing tomatoes and pickles, and were labelled with 'Steamed Clams'.

Shrugging, she took a hay burger... then a second one. Hey, as long as they were free right? Then, she poured out a cup of cherry soda and walked to the nearest free table. She wasn't one to turn down hot chocolate, but it was far too warm and a hot beverage just didn't work with a savory like hay.

As she sat down, she noticed Lancer was still there attending to the line of ponies wanting to greet him. Sure, he seemed uninterested, but not in such a way that he was obviously giving off signals that he wanted to be dismissed. It was... admirable, she supposed. He was definitely the more shy type, and not one for the party life.

In fact, looking around a bit, Cheerilee easily reasoned it was probably why the party was so much more laid back than Pinkie's usual fare. When she had time to plan, and didn't go for one of those surprise parties, they tended to be a lot better tailored for the pony they were aimed at.

As she worked through her first hayburger, Lancer eventually seemed to be able to break off from the crowd. It was only once they made eye contact when she realized she was staring at him, causing her to blush and lower her head closer to her food. Awkwardly, they looked at each other, Cheerilee's eyes half-obscured by the spare hayburger she had on her plate, and her extra tall cup of soda.

Midnight, trying not to appear like he was walking straight towards her table out of awkwardness, made his way to the food stands in such a way that he would slide right past the table. A few fillies and colts pushed by, the ones old enough to not be in bed early to avoid being overexcited, ready to play with each other after hurriedly scarfing down their meals.

"Hi Miss Cheerilee!" their voices chorused as they passed the teacher. She gave nothing but a wave and a warm smile. They had enough of her voice in class.

Lancer, for his part, took the opportunity to not seem awkward as he stood by the picnic table the pink mare was sitting at. Scratching the back of his head, he pointed out, "Wow. When I was their age, I avoided my teacher like the plague."

That gave Cheerilee a good laugh, although it was slightly muffled by her lips as she tried not to be rude with food in her mouth. Chewing and swallowing, she noted, "Then you probably just didn't have the right teacher, Mr. Lancer."

"Hehehe..." Lancer laughed awkwardly, before sidling away, unable to break eye contact as Cheerilee's eyes followed him until he was too far behind her for her neck to turn anymore.

Eye contact broken, Cheerilee looked back to her meal, only for Lancer to lean in again and ask, "Hey, um... are you waiting for anypony...?" he gestured towards the empty seats.

"Mmh," she shrugged lightly, "I was thinking maybe some of my other friends would be here, but they aren't."

"Oh, uh, okay-"

"You can sit with me," Cheerilee read his mind.

Lancer's ears flattened and he blushed like a fire hydrant, "Th-Thanks," he offered, before quickly scarpering off to the food stands.

He hadn't had much of an appetite when he had left her house. However, now that he looked at the refreshments made available to him, he could feel his saliva running. The burgers had no tomatoes or pickles, and were slathered in extra sauce. There was a giant tank of hot chocolate, with the large marshmallows that he swore none of the cafes near the castle grounds had. There were even moist chocolate brownies amongst the gingerbread-like plastic display racks sitting at the far end of the table.

He kept looking over his shoulder at Cheerilee's table as he loaded up a paper plate with all kinds of goodies. If somepony else came to sit down, he really didn't feel like going over anymore. Especially since there were no other empty tables in the crowded square. However, as he finished loading his plate and poured himself a cup of hot chocolate, all that had happened over at the table was Cheerilee finishing her first burger.

Nervously, he walked back over and laid his plate and cup down across from her. After sitting down, both because he didn't know what to say and because he was suddenly starving, he immediately began to wolf down one of his three burgers.

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow slightly as seeds from the burger bun, crumbs, and stray pieces of hay went flying and dusted the table around his plate, as if the stallion's mouth was some sort of wood chipper. She had paused with her burger, a single bite taken out of it, halfway up to her own muzzle. She considered raising it the rest of the way, but somehow felt intimidated by the pegasus's eating ability.

"You, uh, really like... burgers," Cheerilee observed.

"Uh huh!" he said, mouth full.

"And I suppose... the hot chocolate was for you?" she asked, nodding towards the aforementioned hot drink.

"I guessh!" he nodded, mouth still full.

Cheerilee's eye twitched, and she decided to put down her burger and take a sip of her soda instead. Eventually, she asked, "So, uh... you're a guard, huh?"

"Mhm!" he nodded.

Somehow, the amount of fast food he was inhaling ran counter to the image of a chiselled, bronze god made form that she had in her mind when thinking about the Royal Guard. However, Cheerilee could clearly see the stallion was at least in shape. Maybe she was judging him too much. So, she shrugged it off, asking, "So what kinda stuff do you.. guard?"

"Canterlot Castle," he answered simply, sucking the last remains of the first burger off his hooves, before immediately picking up the next burger.

Cheerilee blinked, "I see. What... parts... of Canterlot Castle?"

"Important parts," he said.

Cheerilee tried her best not to cringe, and simply nodded, "That's nice."

Fortunately for the teacher's sanity, Lancer asked the next question before chowing down, "So what do you teach?"

"Oh, basically the entire curriculum," Cheerilee sighed, "Such is life in a small town like this. The only other school in town is a trade school, for adults looking to become carpenters or electricians."

"Sounds stressful," he answered, before the shower of hay and crumbs rained down again.

"Yeah, well!" Cheerilee gave a smile, "Helps that my cutie mark is sorta all about doing it."

"I would've died during the training if it weren't for mine," Midnight managed between chews, "Cadets train in the Everfree Forest. It's a big test at the end of basic."

"Oh, goodness," Cheerilee's expression changed to concern, "Closest I've ever been to its border was in Froggy Bottom, when I was helping my students collect mushrooms for biology!"

"I could've sworn you were about to say collect frogs," Lancer mumbled, scarfing down the last bite of the burger. Swallowing, he reached for the final burger on his plate, before questioning, "So did you need to go to college to become a teacher?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "My Almer Mater was Fillydelphia State."

"I couldn't survive in college," Lancer admitted, "I went in for astronomy. Thought I was smart enough to make charts and study stars. Didn't really know what my cutie mark was for back then either, so... yeah."

Cheerilee gave a faint smile and shook her head, "Oh, Mr. Lancer, stupid doesn't exist. A stupid pony is just one that hasn't met the right pony to guide them."

Lancer gave her an odd look, before, miraculously, his burger eating slowed. Before whatever he was thinking about could fully settle in, Cheerilee pointed behind him.

Turning around, he met a pair of baby blue eyes, inside a bright pink face, "How ya doing?" Pinkie Pie asked, basically pressed up muzzle-to-muzzle.

"GAH!" Lancer jumped, his plate upending itself as he scrambled backwards away from the invasive mare and onto the top of the table. His back hoof planted itself directly on top of Cheerilee's last burger, squirting a spray of sauce into her face.

Pinkie Pie didn't mind, however, and reached into her mane. Pulling a paper plate, from... somewhere, she revealed a pair of cake slices. Placing it in front of Lancer, she pulled out another plate with a single slice and held it out to Cheerilee, "Here ya go, and here ya go! Lancer gets two slices, because he's the party colt!"

Cheerilee wiped sauce from her eyes and licked around her muzzle. Her disgustion with the sudden spray was slightly averted as she looked down at the huge, moist slice sitting on the plate in front of her. It was red velvet, with macarons studding the outside-facing part of it, and blue-and-black patterning on the top icing. It was her favourite flavor.

"Oh..." Lancer said, before looking over across the crowd. In the distance the giant, four-tiered cake the slices had come from had already been cut up, and was being swarmed by the other townsponies. Thank Celestia he hadn't been called up in front of everypony to cut it up, he had had enough hoofshakes already from the original greeting.

"I didn't want to disturb ya for the cake!" Pinkie explained, "You seemed perfectly happy here with Miss Cheerilee," she leaned around him, winking at Cheerilee.

The mentioned mare raised an eyebrow, muzzle scrunched in confusion as a few splotches of burger sauce continued their journey down off the sides of her cheeks.

"That's, uh, considerate of you?" Lancer said hesitantly, looking down at the cake.

"Aw, thanks," PInkie leaned in closely, but still spoke loud enough that they could both hear her, "I'm usually not that good at this kinda stuff. My sister Maud is more of the matchmaker."

"What?" both Cheerilee and Lancer questioned.

Pinkie shrugged, "That's a lie. Maud's a virgin," she said, before turning around and pronking away, "Enjoy your cake! La lala la la!"

"Well, that's Pinkie for you," Cheerilee mumbled, before picking up the plastic fork that had been inserted between the cake and the plate. Taking a chunk from the slice, she began to eat.

Lancer moved to start getting down from the top of the table, before realizing he had completely squished her burger, "Oh, loaf! I'm sorry!" he said, before raising his eyebrow as he saw her face, "Wait how'd you get burger sauce on your face?"

Cheerilee deadpanned at him.

He got down and sat back on the bench in front of his own plate, meeting her gaze and blinking, "What?"

She sighed, "Nothing. Don't worry about it," she managed a smile, "You like red velvet?"

"Not crazy about cake, but yeah it's my favorite flavor so I'm happy, especially cause it's free," Lancer suddenly froze in fear, "It's free right!?"

That elicited a more genuine grin from Cheerilee, "Yeah. Don't worry about it. There's a small parallel economy around funding Pinkie's parties. Mayor Mare set one up after Sugarcube Corner had to pay out for yet another destroyed gazebo."

Lancer's face contorted into concern.

That just caused Cheerilee to giggle harder, "Oh, don't worry about it! Derpy only walked away with minor injuries," Lancer's even more shocked expression made her laugh harder. After a moment of snorting and laughter, she finished her giggle fit with a sigh, "It's funny. Red velvet's my favorite too. She serves it at all my parties."

"Ya don't think that's kinda creepy?" Lancer asked, "I mean. They served hot chocolate, my favorite burgers, now my favorite cake..."

Cheerilee gave a single nod, swallowing her bite of cake before positing, "I think to be creepy you gotta have bad intentions. Pinkie Pie has nothing but good ones."

"Hard to believe," Lancer said.

"If you want to make it far in Ponyville, you have to remember one thing: If it's Pinkie, you don't question it," Cheerilee stated matter-of-factly.

Lancer lowered his head, scanning the crowd around him, "...I'll reserve my judgement."

"Eh, you do you," Cheerilee said, taking one of the macarons off the back of the cake. As she finished the macarons, she looked up at him with a smile, "I appreciate you coming, Midnight Lancer, even though you didn't want to."

Midnight blinked. He himself didn't really know why he had come, either. Shrugging, he said, "Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," he gave a lopsided smile, "Thanks for making me come."

"Well, Mr. Lancer," Cheerilee said, standing up now that her plate was empty, "I have to go home. It's already eight, and I need to be up bright and early for the first day of school tomorrow."

"Oh, right," Lancer stood as well, "I guess I'll, uh, get going too."

"You haven't even finished your cake," Cheerilee pointed out the two, whole slices still sitting in front of him.

Lancer looked down at them, "Oh," picking it up, "I'll just carry it home. I'm already full."

Cheerilee brushed a strand of hair out of her face, before giving him a wave, "See you sometime, Mr. Lancer."

"See you too, Miss Cheerilee," Lancer said, watching as she disappeared into the crowd. Raising his head, he looked around for Pinkie, wanting to be polite and thank her for the party.

Suddenly, Pinkie pronked up above the heads of the crowds, all the way on the other side of the square, "YOU'RE WELCOOOOME!" she shouted.

Gulping, Lancer took his cake and flew away as fast as he could.

The patio groaned its greetings as Lancer landed by her house. It greeted him back, windows dark and empty. Something shuffled in the yard and the night wind blew through its loose boards. There was no warmth peeking through its panes and under its door. No light. Just a miserable, empty house and a lumpy mattress waiting for him upstairs.

With a sigh, he pushed the door open. Laying the cake slices on the countertop, he walked blindly through the foyer, having memorized its layout well enough to navigate without the light.

He stopped as he reached the base of the stairs. Looking behind him, he saw the full moon peeking through the window, casting light upon the leafy house plant Cheerilee had gifted him... and the sink full of last night's dishes sitting right next to it. With a sigh, he walked back across the space, taking a cup from the cabinet and filling it up. Then, he dumped it onto the plant.

About to let the glass fall into the sink to wait along with the rest of the dirty dishes, he paused and sighed again. Turning on the faucet, he squirted dish soap onto a new sponge and began to clean. After finishing the previous night's dishes, he reached out to turn off the faucet, but paused. There were several plates, cutlery, and utensils still waiting in the drawers and cabinets by the sink, all covered in dust and grime.

He thought back to how uneasy Cheerilee had been looking into his home. Most of his guests would feel the same, and he was already here, right?

He left the tap running and turned on the lights, before emptying the cabinets of their plates, pots, pans, utensils, and china. The sink filled with soapy, hot water. His hooves scalded from a lack of gloves as he made his way through the dishes, but he just groaned and moved on. Stopping halfway through the job, he took an old dishcloth and wiped off the wet dishes and placed them back, before continuing. The final load of dishes was left on the rack as Lancer checked his watch, realizing it was 11PM. It was far from the latest night he stayed up, even before his night job. Switching off the lights, he looked to the houseplant and smelt the soap in the air. It was a much more pleasant scent than the dust.

As he rolled into bed, he slept easily.