Adopted by a Mad Motherly Matchmaker

Color and joy had returned to Hope Hollow. Another battle won where the solution was inside them all along. Rainbow yawned and stretched her wings as the sleepy little town slowly settled back into a post celebration stupor. The crowds were thinning across the rainbow festooned square but she couldn't see any of her friends.

“Darn,” she grunted, turning to her twin shadows. “I think everyone’s either packing or packed up already. I guess I gotta go soon. It's been really fun though.”

Pickle and Barley’s expressions fell at the inevitable news they'd been dreading. The past week they'd spent with the Element of Loyalty had been the best thing to ever happen to them and they never wanted it to end.

“Wait,” pleaded the filly, Barley. “Before you go, can we get your autograph?”

“Yeah,” agreed her brother, Pickle emphatically.

“Sure,” laughed Rainbow, delighted at the request. “What do you want me to sign?”

“Our poster,” Replied Barley. “If you wait here, we can go get it.”

“Why don't I just go with you?” she shrugged. “It'll be easier.”

The twins exchanged astounded glances.

“Yeah, okay! C'mon. We can show you our room.” The Little yellow pagasi fluttered into the air and looked back at her expectantly over their withers. The Wonderbolt promptly complied, not wanting to waste anyone's time with her lollygagging.

“You two have real potential. I mean, for the little amount of time we had to practice, we put together a pretty good show.”

“Yeah,” they agreed. “We definitely couldn't have thrown that together by ourselves though,” added Pickle.

“But now you've learned some things and I think your self training is going to go a lot farther now. So just keep at it.”

She followed them closely to the edge of town. The foals set down in front of a two story house that looked to rival the mayor's residence in size.

Rainbow blinked. “Wow, this is where you live? It's big. Are you guys like rich or some-” Her eyes suddenly landed on a faded wooden sign hanging from a post by the front step which read Hope Hollow Orphanage. She felt a sickening pang in her gut as she immediately put the pieces together.

Up closer the big house didn't look so nice anymore. It had broken balusters and grimy windows. Rainbow was totally dumbstruck as they walked onto the small porch and through one of the propped open double doors.

The siblings stopped abruptly and looked back at her.

“You have to sign in,” said Pickle, pointing at the front desk of the lobby.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she mumbled, heading for the pen and clipboard. The worker looked up from her papers to silently acknowledge her presence as she scribbled her name in the next slot of the log. “Guess I'm autographing two things," she laughed weakly. She dropped the pen back on the log and rejoined her little fan club on the other side of the lobby.

“You can just come and go from here as you please?”

“Almost,” replied Barley, cocking her head toward the doors into the orphanage proper. “We do have check-in times and a curfew.”

Flying practice and the balloon ride home were suddenly completely eclipsed in Rainbow's mind as she became mentally bogged down with this shocking revelation.

“Where… are your parents?” she asked with a cautious sort of dread.”

“They died,” replied Pickle with an almost detached flatness. “Long time ago before we could remember. We've been here ever since.”

“Is it normal for kids to be here that long?”

“No. The problem is that we refuse to be adopted out separately and most parents aren't looking for two foals. So… we just stay here.”

“Oh…”

The twins led her into a small dormitory with about a dozen bunk beds lined in two neat rows.

They passed one colt who appeared to be sleeping on the bottom of his bunk right in the middle of the day.

“This is our bunk,” explained Pickle, trotting up to the last bed in the first row. It consisted of two simple stuffed mattresses topped with a pair of gray blankets. “I get top.”

“But I get the poster,” boasted Barley, gesturing to the wall enclosed by the frame around her sleeping space. It was decorated with torn out and pinned up magazine photos and articles about the Wonderbolts orbiting around a single large promotional poster with creases running through it. It was a veritable Wonderbolts shrine.

Rainbow fought back tears as she laid eyes on the poster. They had nothing. Their whole personal lives were condensed into this tiny little space. She’d spent a whole week with them and had no idea.

Pickle eagerly produced a pen he'd likely absconded with from the front desk and held it out to her in his wingtip. He had no parents or family home but the only thing on his mind at that moment was how he'd scored an autograph from his hero.

Rainbow took the pen in her own wing and crawled into the bottom bunk. She sat awkwardly scrunched on her haunches and swooped out her signature just as she'd practiced.

When she crawled back out, the twins quickly gathered in to gawk at the upgrade to their prized possession.

“Thank you so much, Rainbow! This is the best day ever!”

“Yeah,” she murmured absently. “It's the least I can do… Well… I'd better go find my friends and see what they're up to. Don't want to make them wait on me.”

“Will you ever come back?” asked Barley desperately.”

“Uh, yeah, I'll come back some time.” Rainbow initially bluffed but quickly realized it wouldn't be too much of a stretch for her to make happen. She sat and placed a hoof on each of their heads. Then she drew them both into a hug. She clenched her eyes shut as the tears threatened to spring out once more.

The three of them returned to the town square where the purple hot air balloon already stood tall and billowing, ready for takeoff.

“Oh, there you are, Rainbow,” called Twilight emerging from the inn. “Just in time. Do you have everything? We're about ready to leave.”

“Uh yeah,” she grunted with a distracted air. “You know me; I didn't really bring anything and it's not exactly a big souvenir town.”

“Well, it might be now that the color's back,” smiled Twilight as she passed.

Rainbow trailed her to the balloon basket where the rest of their group waited and a sizeable crowd of townsponies had gathered around for the sendoff.

Rainbow turned back to the twins. “I guess this is it. See ya later.” She waved and fluttered into the basket with her friends.

Pinkie cut the ballast and the balloon rose quickly into the air. Rainbow’s eyes stayed trained on Pickle and Barley as their tiny, waving figures receded into the distance. - - -

Rainbow's mane ruffled softly in the little breeze that was able to permeate the bottom of the basket. The night air was crisp and there was almost enough moonlight to read by. She laid on her side watching Applejack’s blond tail swishing as she stood alertly at the rim. The only other pony awake, she was tasked with keeping the balloon at altitude and on course.

Applejack turned around and made eye contact with Rainbow before reaching up and hitting the thruster for a four second blast.

“Ya ain't even tryna go back ta sleep,” muttered Applejack, returning to her post at the rim.

“I was never asleep,” grumbled Rainbow. “My brain won't let me. Did you know that those kids I trained in Hope Hollow were orphans?”

Applejack screwed up her face in consideration. “No,” she shrugged.

“I only learned that like right before we left and now I can't stop thinking about it. They’re just… waiting there in that town and it seems like no one's coming for them. It really put a damper on the day for me. Today felt like an amazing huge win up until that point and now I don't even know. It really bothers me.”

Applejack lifted her hat to scratch her head. “They seemed like great kids. Ah'm sure someone’ll scoop ‘em up.”

Rainbow rolled onto her back and looked up into the sliver of twinkling stars around the edge of the balloon. “But they've been in that orphanage for basically their whole lives; they don't even remember their parents.”

“Oh… So like Apple Bloom.”

“Yeah… but all alone… with each other.”

“Hmm… Ya know, one thing Ah still wonder ta this day is if it's better ta remember ‘em or not or if it's just a different kinda hurt and that's all it is. But one thing that's obvious is that havin’ family ta fall back on always makes it better.”

“Right. They have each other but… they're just foals.”

“That's too bad,” she sighed. “Cain't fix everythin’ wrong in this world.”

“Yeah,” she agreed despondently. - - -

Rainbow said nothing more about the twins for the rest of the trip back but that didn't mean they'd been swept out of her mind.

She bailed from the balloon before it set down in Ponyville and fluttered lazily to her towering cloudominium home which hovered imposingly at the edge of town.

She wandered up to the second floor, slowing down until she came to a poignant stop at the door to the abandoned guest bedroom. It had been months since she or anyone else had set hoof in that room. Her house was big but so empty a lot of the time… especially now.

Rainbow put a hoof on the door but hesitated as if being repelled by an unseen force. She pushed it open slowly and stood in the doorway for a moment, lavishing in bad memories like the heat from a sweltering oven.

There wasn't much in the room. A few books. A few drawings. It wasn't as if it had been Scootaloo’s home and Rainbow had made sure to give any personal effects she found back to her family. The bed was still tousled from the last night she'd spent there. Neither of them were much for making the bed. On the bedside stand was a framed photo of her with Scootaloo smiling on the podium at the Sisterhooves Social.

Rainbow sighed and tugged the corner of the comforter with her teeth. Then she straightened it over the mattress. Perhaps doing so would help give her some sense of closure.

She tidied up the books and the papers on the table. She put the pens and pencils back in the cup and pushed in the chairs. By the time she was done, the room looked unnatural like it was closed instead of just waiting in hopeless suspense for Scootaloo's return.

She felt no better. It was like she'd just stirred up her emotional sediment again but maybe… eventually…

Rainbow snuck one last glance at the photo before closing the door and heading to her own bathroom. She twisted the knobs in the shower. Then stared vacantly at herself in the mirror until her reflection vanished behind a curtain of fog.

Rainbow closed her eyes and shuddered as the hot water rained down on her, melting away the tenseness in her body. It was there that a simple but wild idea finally barged into her brain. She could do something. She could help them. Why not? They had no one. She had no one. She was a Wonderbolt. They were aspiring Wonderbolts. Ponyville and Hope Hollow were comparable. Her house was so quiet. The more she thought about it, the more the pieces just seemed to fit together.

She could be a parent. It wasn’t too different than what she had been to Scootaloo, except with the twins she’d have more governing power and influence in their lives. Nothing like that would ever happen again. Things would be so beautiful. She’d save them from living on to age out of that old orphanage and becoming damaged adults with rejection and trust issues. She’d help them achieve their dreams. Who better than her to step in?

Rainbow sputtered as water poured over her lips behind a bedraggled mane. She tried to come up with a reason why this nagging, spontaneous fantasy didn’t make sense or why it was a bad idea for either party but she couldn’t. The only thing she could see was the legal technicalities. - - -

Even after sleeping on it, Rainbow still awoke with the unshakable notion that she needed to save the Barrel Twins. Without much deliberation she bolted from her home that morning and soared to the castle to pay Twilight a visit. The doors were always open, especially to her so she fluttered right into the library. Her suspicions proved true, Twilight was eating breakfast with her books.

“Twilight,” she blurted, setting down across from her. She planted her forehooves firmly on the table. “Do you have a minute?”

Twilight put her spoon back in her bowl of oatmeal. “Sure. What’s going on?”

Rainbow took a breath, trying to measure her passion and make the idea sound less like a flight of fancy. “I need your help. I want to adopt Barley and Pickle Barrel in Hope Hollow.”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow with skeptical intrigue. “Those kids you trained for the celebration? They don’t have guardians?”

She shook her head. “No, they’re orphans who’ve lived at the orphanage there for basically their whole lives. They’re stuck there because they refuse to be separated.”

Twilight frowned and waved a hoof dismissively. “Well, legally you can’t even adopt two foals as a single parent so-”

“I know,” Rainbow interrupted. “That’s why I need your help. I have super high standing in Equestria but obviously not as much as you. Can’t you pull some strings for me as the Princess of Friendship to grant me some kind of an exemption?”

“Ugh, Rainbow… How long have you actually been considering this huge, life changing and irrevocable decision.”

The pegasus slumped a little. “Well… Honestly about a day. But I’ve been worrying about them since we left Hope Hollow. This is just such an obvious solution, you know? I'm a Wonderbolt. They’re little wonderbolts.”

“You seriously believe that you're ready to take on the commitment of being a single parent to two foals right now?”

“Yes,” she answered with conviction. “I wouldn’t be here asking for you to do this just to screw around.”

“Are you sure… emotionally you're ready for this?”

Rainbow shook her head. “What do you mean?”

Twilight frowned as she tried to find a nice way to call attention to her friend's still present trauma. “I mean are you… over Scootaloo yet?”

“No,” she admitted quickly. “But maybe this will help me.”

“That’s the thing. I don't want you to go into this seeing those kids as some kind of rebound or analogue for Scootaloo and I don’t want you counting on them to heal you. That wouldn't be a good basis for lunging into parenthood.”

“That's not what it is at all,” spat Rainbow indignantly. “C'mon, I'm the Element of Loyalty. Name one better quality an adopting parent should have. Don’t you wanna help them too?”

Twilight gave an exasperated sigh. “Fine. I’ll make your case to Celestia herself and see what she thinks but don’t expect an answer today.”

Rainbow pounded a hoof on the table in elated triumph. “You’re the best, Twi! This is gonna be amazing! I’m so excited.” - - -

Despite Twilight’s abundant caution to temper her expectations, Rainbow was on pins and needles for almost a week straight. She presumptuously fixed up the guest bedroom and even bought some new decor for her new foals. Hardly any thought other than bursting into that orphanage and seeing their happy smiling faces could hold space in her brain.

She practically had a heart attack the morning Twilight knocked on her door with a face of cold gravitas.

“Well, Rainbow. It looks like you're all clear.” The princess floated a big envelope to the gobsmacked pegasus.

“Celestia sent me a packet of papers to give you. Everything looks like it's filled out and accounted for except for the spots you're supposed to sign. Theoretically you could just walk right in the orphanage, hand them this and the Barrel Twins would be released into your custody.”

Rainbow beheld the thick envelope in her hooves with reverent awe. Not only was the answer a yes but she’d procured a battery of already filled out official papers including references and a cleared background check signed off and sealed by Princes Celestia, the highest authority in Equestria. She probably could have just dictated a one page royal edict but she was an exemplary stickler for going through the proper channels she could otherwise unilaterally circumvent.

“I'm gonna go get them right now,” sputtered Rainbow manically. She grabbed her messenger bag from the hook by the door and slipped the priceless documents inside. “Thanks again,” she blurted at Twilight before dashing past her and launching into the air at full speed.

Without the meandering mosey of the hot air balloon, Rainbow made record time streaking through the sky toward Hope Hollow. Just hours later she was sweating and panting and coasting to an idle over the little town. Her mind boggled. Where was that orphanage again? What if someone already adopted them or what if they didn't want to go with her? No. Ridiculous. Of course they were still there. Of course they'd come with her.

It was a school day. They would be at school. No, wait, they would have just gotten out of school probably, judging by the clocktower. Rainbow’s eyes snapped to a pair of foals below, one wearing a red hoodie and the other wearing a red hat over a teal mane. They sat on a bench outside the drug store.

Rainbow spiraled down and alit gracefully on the ground in front of them with a huff. The twins recoiled in surprise.

Barley blinked. “R- Rainbow? You came back already?”

“Yeah,” she gasped, still out of breath. “I have a question for you two. Would you be willing to let me adopt you?”

It seemed as if time had stopped momentarily. The two of them looked at each other, then back at her as they stammered, spouting gibberish at the abruptness of the outlandish scenario.

“Wait, wait, you can't adopt us as a single parent,” stated Barley. “Aren't you single?”

Rainbow patted her bag smugly. “Yeah but I got a packet of papers right here signed by Princess Celestia herself that would legally allow me to adopt both of you. We can all go live in Ponyville together.”

“No way,” breathed Pickle.

“Yes way,” rebutted Rainbow emphatically.

He slapped his own cheeks. “This isn't happening; this is some kind of insane dream.”

“I don't think it is but are you in anyway?”

“Yes,” they exploded in unison.

The twins led her back to the front desk of the orphanage where the same Earth Pony worker from before stood filing.

“Oh, it's you again. Can I help you?”

“I'm here to adopt these two.” Rainbow placed a hoof on each of the foals’ heads and the three of them smiled.

The mare at the counter perked up with surprise. “Oh, well, wonderful!” She bowed her head under the counter and pulled out a stack of papers in her jaw, slapping it down on the surface. “We'll need to see your ID, place of residence, interview your partner-”

“Hold on,” interrupted Rainbow, fishing out her own papers. “I've actually been pre-approved by Princess Celestia.” she pushed the open envelope and her ID to the suddenly bewildered mare.

She shook the papers out and flipped through the stack with wide eyes. Everything was on royal Canterlot letterhead with Celestia's embossed seal at the bottom. She looked at the ID and then squinted back at Rainbow.

“Who are you?”

“I'm the Element of Loyalty and recurring savior of Equestria,” she boasted.

The desk worker's mouth hung open. “You’re that Rainbow Dash?” She looked back down at the documents. “Uh, it looks like everything is in order here. I just need a couple of signatures from you on these and… that's it. You can go all go to your new home together.”

“That's really it? I sign and we go?”

The twins laughed with glee.

“That's really it. If Celestia vouches for you, there's not much else to be said. The signatures are actually just a formality at this point but it would be nice for our records. Oh, we also give every new adopted parent a copy of this parenting book which specifically covers raising foals that have lost or been taken away from their previous guardians.” She vanished below the counter again and reappeared with a new book in her teeth. “I’m so happy that someone is finally taking them home.”

Rainbow slid the book toward her. The title read New Beginnings and had a silhouette of an adult pony and foal walking into a blinding sunrise.

“Alright, I'll sign.” She took a pen in her mouth and began to scribble her name in the prescribed areas.

“And this is the address we can forward mail to and the school we can transfer their grades?”

Rainbow had to double check or rather check at all to make sure.

“Uh-huh.”

Pickle and Barley said goodbye to the few friends they could track down. They collected their magazine pages and folded up their poster, giving them to their brand new guardian.

“I can't believe this is happening,” gasped Barley with manic candor.

“Don't wake up,” Pickle breathed to himself.

“Cmon,” laughed Rainbow, idling in the air. “If we hurry we can get home before dark.”

Home… The word sounded like heaven. With hearts lighter than dandelion fluff, the twins sprang into the sky behind her and bid their old town farewell. They watched it scroll away like a receding wave on the beach.

“Welp, don't have to do that history report now,” quipped Pickle on the verge of tears as they passed over their school. “You know, living here wasn't easy but I'll still miss it,” he added.

“Yeah,” agreed his sister.

“Your new hometown is pretty cool,” Rainbow bragged, looking back at them over her shoulder. “And wait till you see your house.”

They journeyed back at a brisk pace that was easy for Rainbow but a bit taxing for young pegasi. In spite of this, the twins still found the energy to talk excitedly over each other as they spiraled and looped around Rainbow, trying to grab her attention and get her approval. They cycled through every move they thought they could show her while traveling.

“You guys need to pace yourselves,” she laughed. “It's a long flight. It'll be much easier if you just stay in my slipstream.”

“Hey, Rainbow, check out my suicide drop!” Without any further explanation, Pickle folded his wings and tucked his legs to his body in a cannonball position.

Rainbow let out a scream as he quickly fell away, plummeting toward the ground like a stone. She flailed her limbs in a panic before launching into a divebomb. She caught up with him quite close to the ground and before he'd even unfurled his wings to save himself.

She wrapped her forelegs around him and swooped back upward in a steep climb.

“Hey, I was about to catch myself,” he protested disappointedly.

Rainbow's heart thundered in her chest. “Never do that!”

“Why?”

“Because-”

Her explanation cut off in heart stopping horror as she saw Barley rush past them replicating the same reckless maneuver. Unable to react in time, Rainbow simply clenched her eyes shut.

“Weeeeee,” laughed Barley as she swooped back up to them from half a second before impact.

Rainbow let go of the colt and let him fly on his own. “You two need to be more careful when you fly,” she chastised. “Don't do stuff that's pointlessly dangerous.”

“But it's fun,” shrugged Pickle.

“Yeah, and we're good at stuff like that,” whined Barley.

“Danger is always fun before you get injured by it.”

The trip proved to be a marathon for the foals but despite Rainbow's offers to stop and rest till tomorrow, they were absolutely insistent upon going straight to their new home and pushed onward with zeal, drafting behind Rainbow.

“I'm exhausted,” grunted Barley, her legs dangling limply beneath her sagging body.

“We're almost there,” cried Rainbow. “That's the Everfree Forest.” She pointed down at the seemingly impenetrable expanse of trees. “It borders the outskirts of the town. It's also pretty dangerous to go there so you should avoid it.”

Pickle and Barley exchanged curious glances.

“What makes it dangerous?” shrugged Pickle.

“Lots of dangerous creatures like timberwolves and manticores and cockatricesesses- cockatri?”

“Cool,” they exclaimed in unison.

“No, not cool,” she insisted vehemently.

They reached the edge of Ponyville just before sunset and by that time all three of them were pretty spent.

“That down there is my friend's farm and just up ahead…” Rainbow pointed into the orange glow where her cloudominium towered in silhouette.

“You're not serious,” gasped Pickle.

“That's your new house!”

The awestruck twins suddenly found the energy to dash to the palatial, cloud based home. Rainbow followed them inside the front door where they began to zigzag across the entryway, unable to decide what to explore first.

“This place is huge; it's like a mansion.”

“Look, there's a gym.”

‘Whoa, you have a TV too?”

“And an air hockey table,” added Rainbow.

Her house was nice by Ponyville standards but going straight to it from orphanage life made it pure opulence.

“This is the kitchen,” she said, pointing through a doorway at the bottom of the stairs. An open cereal box stood abandoned on the table and in the sink was a pile of dishes. Most things in the house looked messy but not dirty.

“C'mon up here,” she motioned.

The curious foals followed her to the second floor on to the landing where their new guardian stopped them.

“Alright, are you ready for this?” she asked with a smirk. “This is your room.” Rainbow flung open the door.

The astounded twins trotted inside, scarcely believing anything they were seeing. It was so big… and clean. They immediately hopped on the bed in the center of the room and began jumping in giddy celebration.

“It's just one big bed; I hope that's okay. I can get you a couple of smaller beds if you want though.”

“We've never slept in a bed this big!”

Rainbow unfurled their poster from her pack and began pinning it up in the corner. The autograph on it kind of seemed silly now.

“Our own room with walls, furniture and a door!”

“And a closet.” said rainbow, putting in the last pushpin. I'll show you my house now and maybe tomorrow I can show you Ponyville and we can go get ice cream at Sugar Cube Corner.”

“Yay!”

The two leapt from the bed and followed Rainbow back into the hall.

“That's your bathroom,” she directed, pointing into the next door as they drifted past. “And… this is my room.” She pushed open the door and led them inside. She hadn't tidied up for the moment at all.

“It's a little messier than the other rooms,” she admitted. Her eyes fell on a hastily discarded dildo on the floor. She quickly kicked it under the bed before the twins could notice. At least her porn library was always safely locked away... until they got too nosey, she worried a bit.

“Who's that?” asked Barley, pointing to the photo that she'd moved from the guest bedroom.

Rainbow looked, her expression darkening. “That's… that's Scootaloo. Um, she was kind of like my adopted little sister. Not officially. She used to stay over sometimes in the room that's yours now.”

“Oh…”

The two looked at each other as if telepathically debating if they should make her elaborate.

“What happened to her?” asked Barley.

Rainbow swallowed. “Um, she died attempting a dangerous stunt with the Washouts. I wasn't fast enough to save her. But it wasn't my fault,” she clarified defensively. “I tried to stop her.”

The twins’ faces fell with shocked sadness.

“Yeah, I don't really like talking about it,” she murmured.

“That must be why the Washouts don't tour anymore,” whispered Pickle to his sister.

Rainbow finished the tour of the house. They ate a quick and easy dinner and in short order it was time for bed, or at least that's what Rainbow was forced to decide now that she was a parent.

She made them brush their teeth and tucked them into their big new bed.

“We'll have a lot more fun tomorrow,” promised Rainbow, reaching for the light.

Pickle looked down the sheets at her, barely keeping himself awake. “Um, thanks for rescuing us, Rainbow… I mean… Mom.”

An endearing yet awkward silence passed between them. It underscored the fact that they actually didn't really know each other at all and yet here they were, starting this life-changing journey together. Just that morning, the twins had been scrounging for loose bits under the lockers at school to buy more food. Just hours ago getting adopted was only a distant daydream.

“You’re welcome… You don't have to call me mom if you're not comfortable doing it.”

“I've never called anyone mom before but if I'm going to start, I'm glad it's with you.”

Rainbow was taken aback by his honest expression of affection. Overwhelmed and unable to articulate her thoughts she simply whispered “Good night,” and closed the door.

The twins fell asleep immediately in the wake of their physically and emotionally exhausting day. Rainbow laid in bed for a while and skimmed some of the parenting book but quickly found it too difficult to keep her weary eyes open.